Fourteen Days
by Onionbreath002
Summary: The tactician gets absolutely sick of infighting among the army, so she takes the entire group to a secluded mountain retreat. Chaos ensues.
1. Welcome to the Middle of Nowhere

Charlie: Okay, crazy idea here. I put together this program in Comp Sci class, it basically generates random Fire Emblem Pairings. Well, I was chatting with a friend one day, and this idea hit me. I decided to write it, since Khathlati is over and all. So anyways, it's set in a quaint village in the middle nowhere. Picture a tiny settlement, with one inn, one temple, one police station, one restaurant, and one store. It's basically a tourist town. Surrounding it, are the most beautiful natural formations you could imagine. So, well, you'll see what happens. I don't own FE.

* * *

Three arrow bolts and a fire spell later, the former White Wolf of the Black Fang lay dying upon the throne on which he stood his last. The weary members of Eliwood's Elite began to trudge back to their makeshift camp for the night. 

Jessica the Tactician stood at camp, watching her weary and injured troops trickle back in twos and threes. As was the case in almost every battle the army's been through, everybody seemed to be keeping to their own little cliques. Jessica sighed.

Teamwork was almost nonexistent in Eliwood's Elite. The archers kept to the archers, the mages kept to the other mages, the cavaliers stayed together, and so on and so forth. Each group claimed to be superior to others, and regardless of how Jessica screamed and yelled, "inter-group teamwork," as it had become to be known, was kept to an absolute minimum. Instead, infighting, rivalries, and inter-group sabotage was rampant though-out the army.

Jessica sighed and looked for the four members of the group she knew she could trust. Pent and Louise of Etruria, Dorcas from Sacae, and Canas, who they picked up in Badon. The four were all married, and much more mature. They tended to ignore appearances and weapon preferences and worked as a group. Jessica approached them with a grim look.

"Damage report?" The tactician asked stiffly.

"Three of the mages got hit by mysterious arrows in the shoulders, all the paladins have singed hair, the warriors and their company of axe-wielders all have scratches, Guy has a nasty lance job in his leg, and Farina mysteriously fell off her Pegasus." Pent reported, reading from a long list.

Jessica sighed. "Do I even NEED to ask why all of that happened?"

Louise shook her head. "Not unless you've gotten amnesia recently."

"It's sad, how this army does more damage to itself than the enemies do to us." Jessica groaned. "We're fighting small fry right now, so we can pass by, but once we hit Dread Isle, we're going to get our asses bit off, chewed, and spat back out at us."

Canas was the next to speak. "Well, we could try to en-"

He didn't finish his sentence before a horrible outburst of yelling flamed from the camp. The five gathered reflexively headed straight into the turmoil, already jaded by the experience. Not to their surprise, they found Rebecca, one of the archers in a nasty yelling match with Erk, a mage. Pent and Canas immediately jumped forward to restrain the two from killing themselves.

"What the HELL is going on out here?" Jessica raged after the combatants had been successfully restrained.

"He started it!" Rebecca screamed.

"What!" Erk groaned. "She was the one who SHOT me in battle!"

"Well, I wouldn't have if you weren't in my way!" Rebecca retorted.

"I wasn't in your way! You were trying to steal my kill!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

Jessica sighed and slapped her forehead. As much as she tried to deny it, the members of Eliwood's Elite were still mere teenagers, some barely over the tender age of 16, but she could not take the constant day to day "he did it, no she did it" arguing any more. It was harmful to the army's morale, it was harmful to the chances of stopping Nergal, and most of all, it was detrimental to her mental and physical help.

"Okay…shut…just SHUT UP!" Jessica screamed.

The two snarling teens silenced themselves and looked up a bit fearfully at their tactician. Jessica rarely ever yelled with such volume outside of the battlefield.

"Okay, this is fucking getting REALLY ridiculous!" Jessica ranted. "'He did it' 'no she did it!' DON'T YOU GUYS KNOW YOU'RE ON THE SAME GODFORSAKEN SIDE! FOR THE LOVE OF ST. ELIMINE JUST CAN'T YOU ALL GET ALONG!"

Jessica stood panting as she blew a stray strand of hair from her face. Around her, members of the army, along with Pent, Louise, Dorcas and Canas stared at here wide-eyed.

"…she started it." Erk said meekly.

"…Excuse me…" Jessica said and walked calmly into her tent.

Pent and Louise looked toward the tactician's tent then they looked back at the army.

"Look everyone." Pent said. "I know that tensions are high, but it's true, it is getting ridiculous. We've been through so much together, and now all you do is fight with each other, and for what? To prove that your choice of weapon or class is BETTER than that of the person next to you? It's really childish. We're in a war; we can't afford stuff like this. So, give Jess a break and cool down okay? We're in this together."

"Pent's right." Louise said agreeing with her husband. "We can do so much more if we work together, why are we doing this? Can't we all just get along?"

The army looked back at the couple with shimmering eyes. For a second, Pent thought that their message had gone through.

Then Rebecca pointed at Erk once again claiming her same excuse. "He still started it."

Pent, Louise, Canas and Dorcas rolled their eyes. Throwing up their hands in defeat, the too walked numbly away from the battlefield, and let Rebecca and Erk go at each other's throats. As they walked past Jessica's tent, they heard the tactician clear her throat.

"Hey guys, get in here for a second." The tactician whispered.

The foursome walked into the tactician's tent and looked quizzically at her. Jessica wore a mischievous grin and had a map out in front of her.

"Umm…Jessica?" Dorcas said quietly. "What's going on?"

"Just a little game." Jessica said. "It's time those pathetic fools outside learned to work as a team."

"Err…how are you going to do that?" Canas asked. "You haven't been successful in the past."

"True, but in the past, I tried to get them to work together in battle." Jessica. "I think we're gonna try something different this time."

"Huh?" Louise said. "Run that by me again?"

Jessica unfurled her map and laid it out on the table in front of her. "Look, do you know this place?" She asked pointing to somewhere close to their current location.

"The Etruria-Lycia border?" Pent asked.

"No, not the border, the mountain range." Jessica said.

"Oh, yeah." Louise said. "What about them?"

"Do you know about a place called Silent Springs?" Jessica asked.

"You mean the tourist town?" Pent asked. "Yeah, it's beautiful in the springtime where the wild flowers are in bloom and the spring birds are out. Why?"

"I think a vacation would be nice." Jessica said. "I was thinking about Silent Springs."

"Wait…we're trying to stop the destruction of humanity and you're going to take a vacation?" Dorcas asked.

"Sorta." Jessica said. "We have Nils and Ninian. As far as I know, Nergal can't do whatever the hell he wants to do without the two. So if we disappear off the face of the earth for a bit, Nergal can't do anything but wait."

"He could try to look for us." Canas said.

"Yeah, with who!" Jessica retorted. "The Four Fangs are dead, Sonia's dead, the Black Fang's as good as gone, Nergal's dry right now. All he can do is wait for us to show ourselves."

"Sounds iffy to me." Pent said. "And how exactly do you suppose this will get our motley crew to work together? Plus it's winter right now. Silent Springs is as cold as Ilia."

"Ahh, that's where my evil genius comes into play." Jessica said smiling wickedly. The four gathered around her listened intently as Jessica explained late into the night the details of her plot. The more they listened, the wider their evil smiles grew.

In the morning, the army sobered down. Jessica threatened Merlinus with extreme bodily harm if he gave out any coffee, so the entire army was too tired to argue. As they moved on, Jessica, along with Pent and Louise slyly turned the army off course bit by bit, until they were headed straight into the wilderness. Everyone else was too tired to notice.

Winter in Silent Springs was indeed as cold as Ilia, but it's natural hot springs still provided enough warmth to it's inhabitants, or lack thereof. The official population of Silent Springs was a grand total of twenty-six. It was a strict tourist town whose only inhabitants did the best they could to keep visitors happy during the busy spring and fall seasons.

Located half-way up the tallest peak in the Trans-Continental Range that stood between Lycia and Etruria, Silent Springs was nestled in a small nook where a natural hot springs surfaced. It's founders were a group of merchant families who settled in the region to make a lucrative tourist business. It was an extremely tiny settlement. There was one very large inn with accommodations for hundreds of people. One rather large restaurant with it's own middle sized farm stood next to the Inn. Across from the Inn, the hot springs lay open to the public twenty-four hours a day. Next to the hot springs, was the general store that sold day-to-day necessities such as food and clothing for the meager inhabitants and souvenirs for the tourists. Next to the store, a small system of roads leading to individual residences spread into the mountains. Along the way, there was a temple to St. Elimine and a tiny schoolyard for the children of the inhabitants. A small police station stood to the other side of the school. As the road moves further up, many hiking trails spread into the pristine wilderness.

On the other side of the inn, there was a town square for gatherings and the entrance to the town. A modest sign hung on a frame around the road leading into and out of town. On the sign the words "Silent Springs" were written in light colors followed by "Paradise in the middle of Nowhere" in small print under it.

Since it was the winter season, the inn was entirely empty. The innkeeper hung around the bar cleaning a few dusty glasses. During the winter season, the entire town went into the lazy season. The children went back to school, and the shopkeeper closed the main store and set up a stand outside her shop. The restaurant chef closed her main building off and began to stockpile her harvests.

Even the priest and police took the time off. With a mere 26 inhabitants, it wasn't that hard to catch someone if anything was stolen. Needless to say, being the biggest, warmest, and easiest place to get a drink, everyone basically convened at the inn for basically the entire day.

Charlie looked up after setting aside his clean glasses to see the shopkeeper, the restaurant owner it's chef walking in through the door. He smiled at the tree sisters and took out three glasses.

"Slow day?" Charlie asked with a smile.

"Oh shut up Chuckles." The oldest sister said. "Just give us the sauce."

The cheery innkeeper chuckled as he poured the drinks. He was a tall man, seventeen years old. He had short black hair and wore a pair of old bent glasses.

Charlie finished pouring the drinks and placed the classes on the counter. The three guests quickly took up their drinks with a smile and began sipping the intoxicating drink. Charlie found it amusing that the shopkeeper and the restaurant's owner and its chef were all sisters. The oldest among them, Sonia, was a short, but pretty girl of 22 years. She had black-brown locks tied back behind her head in a ponytail at all times. After her, came the restaurant's owner, Lulu. She was the second oldest at 21. Her hair was usually loose around her head. She was a bit taller than her older sister, sometimes moody, and almost always drunk. The third sister was a meek girl of 18 years named Fae. She was an excellent cook, but was extremely shy. She never showed her face in public without blushing and never drank knowingly. The fact that her sisters tended to spike her drink because Fae did crazy things while drunk was another thing. Charlie frowned disapprovingly as he saw Lulu trying to slip something into Fae's drink again.

"So, having a party?" Another voice came from the door. Charlie looked up and saw the towns one and only police force, Kiyoko walk in. "Is it private or can anybody join?" She asked.

"Heh, not at all. What'll you have?" Charlie asked.

"Rum, and make sure it's not from Ilia this time Chawee." Kiyoko said.

Charlie laughed and poured the girl her drink. Kiyoko was a young girl of 14 with waist-length hair. She amazingly had the highest alcohol tolerance of anybody in the town. Charlie never liked the fact that Kiyoko was also underage, but ever since Kiyoko nearly sliced his head off for giving her the notoriously weak Ilian Rum a weak earlier, he knew better than to question her orders again.

"My my, what have we here?" another voice came just as Charlie served Kiyoko.

"Father Brian! Come in!" Charlie and the girls said. Sonia and Lulu were already slurring their speech a bit.

"What'll it be Father?" Charlie asked.

"Just water please." Brian said. "I don't like alcohol that much."

Charlie nodded and poured him a cup. The priest of the town was a thin man of 18. He wore glasses like Charlie and was never seen without his scepter. It was his precious.

As Charlie looked around, he poured himself a cup of water and joined his friends in their chatter.

"So, what's new?" Charlie asked.

"It's winter CharChar." Lulu replied. "NOTHING'S ever new in the winter."

"Well, I did see a bit of smoke in the distance." Sonia said.

"That's not saying much sis." Lulu said. "We can see quite a distance from up here. That smoke could be from just down the mountain, or a hundred miles from here."

"That's true." Sonia said downing her drink and holding her cup out for Charlie to refill.

"Well…" Fae squeaked. "I counted our food stores…we'll have more than enough to carry us through spring, plus Kramer promised to help out with the crops next year."

Kramer was the assistant at the restaurant. Almost everyone with eyes also knew that Kramer had a mad crush on Fae as well.

"Right, is it really the crops, or something else?" Lulu asked smiling knowingly. Fae blushed and looked down. Charlie smacked Lulu and poured Fae another soda.

"Well…" Brian said. "Karen is about to give birth." In addition to being the priest, Brian was also the town doctor. Karen was one of the schoolteachers. She had been pregnant with her first child for a while.

Everyone cheered at the news. That's when Charlie looked out the window and noticed something was wrong.

"Umm…did any one of you piss off a Marquess or something?" He asked.

His friends looked at him as if he had gone mad.

"Umm, no." Sonia replied. "Why?"

Charlie pointed out the window into the town square. "Because if I'm not mistaken, that's Lord Hector of Ostia in the middle there, followed by Lord Eliwood of Pherae and Lady Lyndis of Caelin. And unless I'm seeing things, that mass of people behind them is part of an army."

The group gathered immediately turned and looked out the window at the advancing surge of people walking into the courtyard. Immediately, everyone tensed up.

"What's going on?" Brian asked.

"You tell me." Charlie said. "Are we being invaded?"

"Doubt it, but come on, lets go see what they want." Kiyoko said, drawing her cloak around her. A glint of a dagger showed.

Charlie nodded. From a hidden shelf behind his displays of various alcohols, he pulled out an ornate sword. The three sisters soon had their weapons ready as well, a bow for Sonia, a lance for Lulu and a fire tome for Fae, all retrieved from secret hidey-holes in Charlie's inn. The six were also secretly a meager security force against any wander bandit groups. It wasn't much, but they didn't usually have to deal with much. Brian held his healing stave and a lightning tome. The six friends walked out cautiously.

Jessica looked around the town hall into the barren settlement.

"Jeez, when they SAY middle of nowhere, the MEAN middle of nowhere. This place is as empty as Bartre's head." She said under her breath.

Around her, the people who heard her chuckled lightly as Bartre glared furiously at Jessica, not knowing what she said, but knowing that she insulted him. Jessica shrugged him and led the group further into the village.

The members of Eliwood's Elite were excited when Jessica announced that they were getting a vacation. But as they crawled upwards into the cold, many began getting second thoughts. But one look at Jessica's cold eyes caused any dissenters to immediately shut up and fall in.

Then, six armed people suddenly jumped from the inn, taking defensive stances. Jessica laughed. She realized that her storming in with forty-three armed people wasn't exactly the smartest thing she did.

"Stop, state your business." The man directly in front of her with a sword said.

"Wait!" Jessica said. "No, it's a misunderstanding. We're here to spend a few days on vacation from a long journey."

The man lightened up a bit but still held firm. From another corner, a girl with a bow who had miraculously jumped onto a torch-stave post spoke out.

"Then why with the weapons?" She asked.

"Well…" Jessica said calmly. "We're an army. We just wanna rest a few days. Please?"

Charlie looked at the girl in front of him. "Okay, but any funny business and you're out of here."

Jessica nodded.

The army was then led into the inn where everyone was able to stash their weapons, but not without the occasional poke here and jab there. While the army put their things away, Jessica snuck away to her welcoming party and tried to explain the situation.

"Hey, sorry about earlier." The man said. "We're just not used to seeing people in the winter."

Jessica shivered despite the layers she had on. "I understand. Listen, I've got a problem about the rooming."

"Yes?" The man said. "Oh I'm sorry." He held out his hands. "I'm Charlie. I'm the innkeeper around here." He then turned to his friends and pointed them out one by one. "This is Brian, he's the priest at our church here. That's Kiyoko, she's in charge of security. This here is Sonia, she runs the shop across the street to you right. That's her sister Lulu who owns the restaurant next door, and that's their youngest sister Fae who cooks in that restaurant."

Jessica nodded her head. "I'm Jessica. I'm the tactician for this army. It's technically led by Lord Eliwood of Pherae and his friends Lord Hector and Lady Lyndis, but I give most of the orders during battle."

"Pleasure." Charlie said. "So…what was your problem."

"Well, you see…" Jessica said. "I have forty something people."

"That's no problem…" Charlie said. "I have hundreds of roo-"

"That's not the problem." Jessica said. "The problem is that I need 18 single bed rooms and one large suite to fit five. Is that possible?"

"Umm, yeah." Charlie said. "Why?"

"Well…" Jessica said and proceeded to explain her problem.

At the end of her story, Charlie was trying to suppress a chuckle and Sonia, Lulu and Kiyoko had to go outside because they were laughing so hard.

"Do you think it'll work?" Charlie asked.

"If I need to ask you to turn off the heat I will." Jessica said.

"Okay, your funeral." Charlie said. "I'll give you rooms 201-221. Rooms 219-221 are connected so you guys can open them to accommodate five."

Jessica smiled. "Thank you."

"No problem." Charlie said. He then went over to the reception desk and brought out a huge stack of marked keys. Jessica thanked him and walked back over to her army.

Sonia, Lulu and Kiyoko came in soon after still chuckling.

"Hehe, so, do you think it's gonna work?" Lulu asked.

"I dunno." Charlie said. "But it's gonna be an interesting few days. Better get back to your posts. We can expect them to be in an uproar in a bit and I don't want us to seem like conspirators."

His friends nodded and left him to his work. He knew that they would be opening their respective services to these tourists as well. However, before Kiyoko left, Charlie grabbed her by the shoulder.

"Hey Kiyo." He said.

"Yar?" Kiyoko asked turning around.

"Keep an eye out." Charlie said. "You know what Jessica said about infighting. Keep the kids and the citizens safe k?"

Kiyoko nodded curtly. "Of course." And then she was gone. Charlie went over the reception desk and listened calmly to the exchanges between the tactician and her army.

"Okay." Jessica said. "I have here, keys for us. Everyone here will be doubling up, except for me." Jessica said.

"What! Why?" Hector asked. "There's enough rooms here!"

"Because." Jessica said. "I'm not rich. Now, I'm in 221, Pent and Louise are in 220, and Canas and Dorcas are going to be in 219."

The mentioned pairs went up and took their keys, aware of Jessica's ploy.

"Okay…next up." Jessica said. "Erk and Rebecca, 201"

Erk and Rebecca stared in disgust at their tactician before taking their keys and storming off up the stairs to their room. Shouting could be heard before they even reached the doors.

"Karla and Raven, 202." Jessica continued calmly.

The swordmaster and the hero choked as they looked at each other. Karla had hated Raven for trying to focus on axes as much as swords. Raven just hated Karla for being so bloody arrogant. The two fought their way up the stairs as well."

As Jessica read out the remaining names, everyone groaned in disgust. Nobody got to be with whom he or she wanted to be with, except for a few people who wanted something from their bunkmates.

"Karel and Priscilla, 203"

"Wil and Farina, 204"

"Kent and Serra, 205"

"Fiora and Dart, 206"

"Matthew and Jaffar, 207"

"Sain and Florina, 208"

"Lyn and Heath, 209"

"Hector and Vaida, 210"

"Geitz and Isadora, 211"

"Lucius and Bartre, 212"

"Merlinus and Marcus, 213"

"Lowen and Nino, 214"

"Hawkeye and Nils, 215"

"Oswin and Rath, 216"

"Guy and Ninian, 217"

"Eliwood and Legault, 218"

Jessica finished reading as everyone stormed up to their rooms. Either someone wasn't happy about his or her own bunk, or they weren't happy about someone else's bunk. Lyn was fuming at Jessica for placing Florina away from her. Hector was furious that Jessica put him with a suspicious character like Vaida, and Matthew threatened to slice Jessica's head off after he sliced Jaffar's head off. Jaffar told Lowen subtly that if his lance using hands touched Nino in any way, he would personally see to it that he hung from the tallest window in the building.

Jessica just calmly told people to get their butts moving. She then strolled over to Charlie where Pent and Louise were already waiting for her.

"So, what now?" Pent asked.

"Well, you see." Jessica said. "Some of the rooms are designed to have people get an appreciation for the person they're bunking with. Others are for some people to have respect for the person who's bunking with their best friends."

"Do you think it'll work?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know." Jessica said. "But with a week or two here, I'm sure tensions would cool down. The stupid cliques in our army would go away, and I'm sure we'll have a few romances here and there too." Jessica grinned.

"You were planning that weren't you?" Charlie asked.

"Well, umm… yeah." Jessica said smiling.

"Heh, we'll see then." Charlie said.

Upstairs, Erk and Rebecca glared at each other from across the single bed in the tiny room.

"Okay, listen up." Rebecca said. "I don't like this, and you don't like this. We're outta here in a week or two."

"Yeah?"

"As far as I'm concerned, I only see you during nights and in the mornings." Rebecca continued.

"Yes." Erk said again.

"Okay, we take turns on the bed, and you stay out of my things, ESPECIALLY my diary, and I'll leave you alone." Rebecca said.

"Agreed." Erk said.

"Good…I don't know what Jessica's planning." Rebecca snarled. "But I am not getting buddy-buddy with a damn arrogant mage."

"Likewise with an inferior sniper." Erk sneered back.

The two then turned their backs to each other and began unpacking.

* * *

Charlie: Long, and weirdish, I know, but it should get better. The pairings are randomly generated. Not everyone's gonna fall in love. Other's are just gonna be friends. Anyways, I have some funny gags for when Jessica and her group of conspirators start playing pranks on their favorite couples. Well, hope you liked that, I'll have next chappy up as soon as I can. 


	2. Midnight Meeting

Charlie: Heyo! I'm back! Yes, 'tis me, the perfectly demented writer! MUAHAHAHA! Anyways, onto another chapter of insanity! T3h beginning of the fourteen days of hell (or heaven) my FE characters must face! MUAHAHA! Ahem, anyways, I don't own Fire Emblem. Reviewer responses at bottom! I'll be telling you which day they're on (And the day that they arrived didn't count, so it officially starts in this chapter, which is the VERY early morning of the first chapter (midnight))

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Day: 1 – Midnight Meeting 

If the winter days in Silent Springs were cold, then the nights redefined cold. As the grumbling members of Eliwood's Elite slowly and painfully unpacked their meager possessions and squeezed them into every nook and cranny they could find, many felt the sharp plunge in the temperature.

In the lobby, Charlie smiled as he turned up the boiler. He himself was wearing a simple trench coat, long warm pants and boots, but he had lived in the mountains his entire life and was used to it. After making sure that the inn was reasonably warm, he finished sweeping the snow and dirt that had come in with his unexpected guests out. Looking outside, he saw his five friends waiting for him to finish.

Charlie, Brian, Sonia, Lulu, Fae and Kiyoko all lived in the same part of the residential area. It was common to see the six walk to and fro their workstations and their homes together. The innkeeper smiled and gestured to his friends that he would be out in a minute. He turned back to his bar and put away a stack of freshly cleaned dishes. Then, taking his scarf, Charlie turned to go home for the night.

He stepped outside into the biting cold. It had begun to snow lightly. The man shook his head and brushed away stray snowflakes from his head before putting on his scarf and a hat and walking over to his friends.

"Anybody die yet Char?" Sonia asked.

"Not yet." Charlie replied. "But it won't be long before chaos starts. Kate still sick?"

Kate was another friend of theirs who lived and worked in Silent Springs. She managed the hot springs and was a cheerful blonde girl of 19 years. She had recently gotten a cold, and since the residents rarely ever visited the public hot springs (since most of them had dug one in their own back yards anyways), she decided to stay home.

"She's better." Brian said. "Checked up on her after I left the inn, Kate was up and moving around the mountain roads. Haven't seen her since."

Just then, Kiyoko pointed to something towards the houses in the mountains.

"Hey look!" She said cheerfully. "Looks like Kate and Jessica got chummy."

Charlie looked down the road and saw two female figures walk towards them, one blonde haired and the other black haired. The two were both laughing. Charlie began to get a bad feeling. Kate was known to be hyperactive and spazzy, usually the center of all trouble and chaos. Somehow, equating her with Jessica did not paint a tranquil picture in the innkeeper's mind.

"Hiya guys!" Kate waved cheerfully as the two got close.

"Feeling better Katie?" Sonia asked.

"Mm hmm!" Kate said happily. "Jessica just told me everything!"

"Hehe…I was afraid of that." Charlie said nervously before he was rewarded with a mouthful of snow.

"That's mean!" Kate said pretended to be hurt.

"Y-yeah…" Charlie shivered. "A-and fr-freezing m-my mouth o-off isn't?"

Kate stuck her tongue out at the numb-lipped innkeeper and grinned.

"Hey guys." Jessica cut in, breaking the little game. "Can you come over to my room at around midnight tonight?"

"Umm…sure." Kiyoko said.

"Okay, no problem." The three sisters replied in unison.

"Meh, fine with me." Brian said.

"Okays!" Kate said excitedly.

"Y-yeah…" Charlie mumbled, trying to thaw out his lip.

"Cool!" Jessica said her eyes glinting. "I'll explain then."

Then the tactician walked past Charlie and entered the inn. The seven friends looked at each other and shrugged, wondering what that was all about. Charlie looked at the sliver of sunlight left in the western horizon.

"Well, we've got a few hours to kill, where to?" Charlie asked.

"Wanna help me tidy up the springs?" Kate almost begged. "I haven't been in for a few days, and I'm worried."

"Meh, why not." Sonia said.

"That is…IF Charlie doesn't get any perverted ideas." Kiyoko said, hitting the innkeeper playfully on the arm.

"Hey hey hey!" Charlie said. "I thought we agreed NEVER to mention that again. I was bloody framed!"

"Sure Charlie." Lulu said laughing. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Charlie snarled but kept his peace. His face turned beet red and his lips were no longer numb anymore. He glared daggers at Kiyoko who returned his poisonous stare with a sweet innocent looking smile. The seven headed off into the hot springs laughing and joking.

Jessica reached her room and immediately tossed herself into a basin of hot water, moaning softly as the warm water washed across her skin. She sat in her bath, relaxing in the warmth of the water and steam, cursing about the extreme cold temperatures. While she bathed, her mind began to conjure up different deliciously evil plots.

Suddenly, a knock interrupted her tranquil interlude. Jessica grudgingly dragged herself from the bath, wrapped her body and hair in towels and went threw opened the door to her room with an agitated look. To her surprise no one was there. She looked around puzzled until another knock brought her senses to the second door near the rear corner of the room. She then remembered that her rooms and the rooms of Pent, Louise, Canas and Dorcas were connected. She opened the door to a squealing Louise.

"This is so cool!" Louise said.

Jessica nodded. "Hey give me a sec okay?"

"Why?" Louise asked perplexed.

Jessica looked at Louise then down to her towels that barely covered her body. Louise suddenly noticed that the tactician was dressed in mere towels and quickly closed the door muttering an apology.

Jessica turned and stripped off her towels, putting on a clean shirt, pants and warm cloak. She was glad that Charlie had turned on the boiler. She didn't need to wear her incredibly bulky snowsuit anymore.

Tying her wet hair back with a dripping scrunchie, Jessica walked back over to the door and knocked. Louise appeared again and opened the door for her. Jessica walked into Louise and Pent's room, which was right next to hers. Their room was much larger, and had a table for conferences and even a small kitchen. On the other side, Canas and Bartre had a smaller room, but it was still bigger than the tactician's. Jessica didn't mind though. She eyed the table in the middle and decided it would do.

"Wow, this is cool." She murmerred. "Oh by the way guys, we're having a midnight meeting tonight with our new friends in here, do you mind?"

Pent and Louise shook their heads. "Not at all, but what's the meeting for?" Pent asked.

Jessica smiled evilly. "Oh, you'll find out."

Down the hallways, the other people were starting to get to bed. It was a long hard climb up the mountains to Silent Springs so everyone wanted to get some rest.

Unfortunately since the rooms were all either "Single" or "Couple" as in "Married Couple" rooms, arguments over the bed assignments began to break out.

Rebecca and Erk glared at each other. Though they agreed to take turns on the bed, they never agreed on who would the first night. The two stood on opposite sides of the bed and argued vehemently.

"I go first! I'm a girl!" Rebecca yelled.

"Girl my ass." Erk said. "You're as much of a girl as I am one."

"Then I'm quite the girl!" Rebecca shot back.

"Oh! Now THAT'S hitting below the belt." Erk growled.

"Like there's anything below your belt TO hit." Rebecca snarled back.

"That's it! You wanna die fool!" Erk sneered.

"You're the one who's going to be dying!" Rebecca raged. Immediately, the two threw themselves at each other punching and kicking, making a mess of the blankets and the room in general. After nearly twenty blows both ways, the two slumped onto the floor tired.

"Ugh…truce?" Erk asked.

"Truce." Rebecca groaned from a punch to her eye. She touched it lightly. "Ow…"

"Eh…sorry 'bout that." Erk said not exactly paying attention to what he was saying or who he was saying it to. He was already drifting off.

Rebecca looked back. "Did you actually apologize?"

No response. Rebecca turned to poke her unfortunate bunkmate only to find him sound asleep. Rebecca smiled, placed a light blanket over him and jumped into the soft warm bed piling sheets over her.

"Sucker!" Rebecca snickered as she fell into a blissful sleep.

Next door, a much different situation was going on. Raven and Karla sat at opposite ends of the room, each holding rather nasty looking objects. Raven cannibalized a chair to get two long wooden sticks while Karla held the butt end of a torch stave in her hand. Unfortunately, she also knocked out the torch stave in their room, causing the room to go extremely dark.

"Getting sleepy yet?" Karla purred sweetly. "Why don't you get some rest?"

"Not a chance." Raven said back emotionless, knowing that the minute he closed his eyes the banshee in front of him would beat the living daylights out of him. "How about you? Doesn't the bed just look so warm and inviting? After the hard day's climb, don't you just wanna jump in and take a long nap?"

Karla shook her head. "No, but I'd gladly tuck you in."

"Hmm, as sexy as that sounds, I'll pass." Raven said.

"Aww, not even a little nap?" Karla pouted.

"Nah, you go ahead, I'll just stay here and…read in the dark." Raven replied.

"You're no fun!" Karla said.

The two then stared at each other in silence, both trying to ward off the tightening embrace of sleep.

Next door, Karel had one ear pressed against the wall, listening to the conversation going on in his sister's room. Needless to say, Karla's seductive tone at which she said things did NOT make Karel happy. He looked across the room to the red haired troubadour staring back at him.

"Are…you tired?" Priscilla asked.

"No." Karel said.

"Cold? Do you want a blanket?" Priscilla asked again.

Karel looked down. He was still wearing his woven plainsmen clothes. It warmed him find since the innkeeper had been nice enough to turn up the boiler. Karel shook his head no.

"Umm…you mind if I take the bed?" Priscilla asked.

"Go ahead." Karel said. He was going to be next to the wall all day.

Priscilla nodded and tucked herself into the rather large bed. She sighed peacefully and closed her eyes.

"One thing though." Karel suddenly said.

"What's that?" Priscilla asked sleepily.

"No sudden moves or I kill you." Karel said bluntly.

"…o-okay." Priscilla gulped nervously. She looked at the creepy man, his eyes half closed as he listened to whatever went on next door. Priscilla then remembered that her brother was next door with Karla.

Priscilla gulped; her brother was with her roommate's sister. She could almost smell the trouble rise. Turning uneasily to her side, Priscilla fell asleep, but she didn't have a peaceful dream any more.

Next room over, Wil stared wide eyed as the blue haired Pegasus knight he was bunked with drew a huge line down the middle of the room.

"Okay, your side is there, and my side is here, are we clear?" Farina asked.

Wil nodded slowly.

"If I catch you going to my side." Farina spat poisonously. "I'mma…gonna kill you."

"But…the door is on your side." Wil said.

Farina grinned and pointed to the window. "Use that."

"WHAT!" Wil screamed. "I can't climb out there! It's a two story drop!"

"I'll be sure to send you home in a matchbox." Farina said as she jumped onto her side of the bed. She had constructed a barricade of sorts in the middle of the bed, preventing any unfortunate accidents during the night. "Good night, and if I catch you on my side." Farina said raising her secretly smuggled in lance (that was resting against the wall on her side), "I'mma gonna kill you."

With that she turned and promptly fell asleep. Wil looked at the sleeping Pegasus Knight in disgust. But as he watched, an evil scheme hatched into his mind. Smiling wickedly, he rummaged through his bags and found two quills and a bottle of ink. He turned towards Farina, dipping the quills into the ink and almost shaking in his glee.

In the next room, Serra was raising absolute hell to Kent, who ran back and forth to Serra's commands.

"Kent! I want the torch stave over there…hmm, nah, move it back. Now move the chair…ohh, that's good. Now dance!"

Kent stared at he pink haired cleric.

"Okay, that's a bit too far." Kent said.

"Bu-but…" Serra said her lower lip trembling. "I'm telling! You're not being nice to me!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NICE!" Kent yelled losing his temper. "For the past THREE hours, I've done nothing but MOVE FURNITURE AROUND so your "Fong Shewie" or whatever the hell it's called won't be 'disturbed.' I'm tired, I'm aching, you want to see dancing, go dance in front of a mirror."

Kent then grabbed a blanket and rolled himself up in it, falling asleep instantly. Serra looked at Kent, not knowing what to do. She was used to being pampered for having tortured Erk so thoroughly with it. Now she was dealing with a man who refused to do what she wants him to do and it bugged her.

But as she looked at the paladin sleep, a fun idea sprang into her mind. Taking out her bag, she took out various hair dyes.

'Fall asleep on me will ya? Well, this will show ya!' Serra thought gleefully as she began to paint the poor paladin's red hair.

The same story happened in the rest of the rooms.

Fiora and Dart argued about the bed and Dart's drinking problem until they both collapsed from fatigue. Matthew spent the night trying to kill Jaffar, only to run out of energy himself and collapse sleeping to the ground. Jaffar had to tuck the sleeping man in.

Sain was dealing with a different problem. Florina had barricaded herself with the mattress in one corner of the room squeaking warnings to stay away while tossing random objects wildly at the flirty paladin.

Thought Sain relished the fact that he was going to be sleeping in the same room with a girl as pretty as Florina, he didn't really know how to approach her. Florina's javelin arm was really good and the minute Sain got close, items would start flying that could possibly put an end to his flirting days. But if he left her alone, he would freeze, since along with the mattress, Florina had also taken the blankets. He had no choice but to try to coo her into coming out, or at least giving him a blanket or two.

"Come on my beauty!" Sain voiced sweetly. "You need not be afraid for I Sain wouldn't dare touch you!"

'And it's true.' Sain thought shuddering. 'That crazy Lyn is next door. As beautiful as she is…I'd hate the be the one to cross paths with her when Florina's hurt.'

"No!" Florina said, surprised at her own voice. "Uhh…I mean… d-don't come any closer!"

"Florina…" Sain said, abandoning his sweet talk. "Come on…at least let me have a blanket? I promise I won't touch you…I'm tired…can't we just sleep?"

At the last phrase Florina squealed loudly and covered herself even more. Sain slapped his forehead, not only at his stupidity in wording it like so, but also because he knew what was going to happen.

Two minutes later, the door to Sain and Florina's room flew open and a possessed Lyn stood in the doorway. She glared at Sain with the effect of having glowing eyes and fangs. Sain immediately cowered.

"I didn't DO anything!" Sain pleaded.

"Then WHY is she HUDDLED there CRYING!" Lyn screamed charging for Sain.

Luckily for Sain, Lyn's roommate Heath, at great risk to his own personal safety, restrained Lyn before she could throttle the life out of the unfortunate paladin.

"Calm yourself milady." Heath said. "Your friend's unharmed. She just looks shaken up."

Lyn calmed down a bit and looked at Florina. Florina saw that her actions nearly got Sain killed and she quickly got up and apologized for the disturbance.

"I…umm…fell over trying to move something…" Florina lied badly. "Sain didn't touch me…honest…"

Lyn looked at Florina, then glared at Sain again.

"If I hear one more sound…it will be your HEAD." Lyn spat at Sain before she went back into her room. Sain looked at Heath and thanked him silently. Heath nodded his head and limped back to his own room, visibly tired.

Two doors over from Sain and Florina, Hector and Vaida had literally torn the bed into two after they got tired of arguing. They each took one piece of the bed and pretended to sleep fitfully, both clutching a blunt instrument and waiting for the other to fall asleep first.

Geitz and Isadora were rather unfamiliar with one another, but since both were more mature than the rest, they decided how to settle the bed problem with minor dispute. However, after the fourth game of hold 'em where one of them got a five card hand through the river card, it was obvious that someone was cheating, so they decided on a game of rock paper scissors.

"Rock…paper…scissors!" They both said at the same time, both throwing out rocks.

They tried again, and both got scissors.

Then they both got paper.

Then rock

Then rock again…

After a long time, the game degenerated into name-calling. Finally, Isadora and Geitz agreed to play one round of poker, winner takes all.

Amazingly, they both got four aces.

"You cheated!" Geitz accused.

"No, you did! At least I wasn't dumb enough to put two aces of the same suit into my hand!" Isadora retorted.

Then it just degenerated into more name calling, until finally they both were too tired to go on. Geitz looked at Isadora and lightened up.

"Okay, you get the bed tonight…" He said grabbing a blanket and curling up on the ground. Isadora was too tired to argue, and she fell instantly to a deep slumber.

Next door, Bartre was clutching his head because he had never been so confused in his life. Rightfully so, he didn't know whether his bunkmate was male or female.

"Bartre head hurt…" The man said sadly.

Lucius sighed and rummaged the room for a hat, he then stuffed his entire head of long blonde hair into the hat.

"Happy Bartre?" Lucius asked.

"You man!" Bartre said. "So we fight for bed!" The warrior got up and bunched up his fists. Lucius looked nervously around and let his hair drop again.

"AHH! BARTRE HEAD HURT AGAIN!" Bartre said.

"Okay…lets just go with I'm a girl…" Lucius said.

"…AHH! BARTRE NO CAN TALK TO GIRLS!" Bartre said.

"…" Lucius was at a loss for words, so he looked around him nervously before taking out a sleep stave and knocking Bartre out with it. After tucking the confused man in, Lucius himself curled up on the floor with a bunch of blankets and a pillow.

Next door, Marcus was watching Merlinus doing push-ups. Merlinus was the weakest member of the army, so Marcus was trying to buff him up. Four push-ups later, the merchant was out cold on the floor. Marcus sighed and decided to give in for the night.

Next to them, Lowen was frantically trying to calm Nino's curiosity. She poked her head into just about everywhere. Lowen also remembered Jaffar's warning, so he dared not be strict with the girl. But as the night wore on, Nino ran him into the ground. After cleaning up after her for what seems like the fiftieth time, Lowen slumped into a chair, wrapped a blanket around himself and decided to rest for a while. In a moment, he was asleep. Unbeknownst to him, Nino managed to figure out how the water heater worked…

One door over, Hawkeye and Nils were both sound asleep. They were the only peaceful bunkmates, deciding to share the bed since Nils didn't take up that much space. Unfortunately, Hawkeye did. He eventually rolled over and crushed poor Nils under him.

"ACK! HAWKEYE!" Nils gasped. "Spine…shattering…spleen…popping…pancreas…unaccounted for…can't…breathe."

The next three rooms were relatively quiet. Rath and Oswin stared at each other until both fell asleep, and neither used the bed. Guy was unsure of how to act around Ninian while Ninian was enthralled with Guy's hair. Eliwood and Legault had a nice game of poker where Legault proceeded to humiliate Eliwood. Now the poor lord was curled up in a corner sobbing while Legault rested in his big comfortable bed.

As the bunkmates quieted down, seven figures snuck up the stairs and into room 220, Pent and Louise's room. The seven saw that their hosts were already seated, so they quickly entered and took their own seats.

Jessica looked around to make sure everyone was already there.

"Okay, the first midnight meeting is officially open." Jessica announced.

"Okay, so what is this all about?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, you've kept us in suspense long enough." Dorcas said. "Now tell us why we're pretending to be spies?"

"Okayokay!" Jessica said quickly. "You know that my plan is to let these people get closers as friends and in some cases, more than friends right?"

"You've made that painfully obvious." Sonia said.

"Well." Jessica said. "I have some fun pranks that I need your cooperation with okay?"

"Sure." Everyone said.

"Yay!" Jessica cheered. "Lets start small ks? Tomorrow, I want Erk and Rebecca to get really close." Jessica looked at Kate. "I think the hot springs would be nice."

Kate smiled. "So, what's your plan?"

"Well…" Jessica said. "Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna send those two your way to pick up tickets for everyone for the afternoon."

"Yeah?" Kate said. "And?"

"You tell them to test the waters, and well, lock them inside, steal their clothes and leave one small washcloth out." Jessica finished smiling broadly.

Everyone stared at her.

"You are cruel." Canas finally said. "Good…but cruel."

Kate was nearly squealing when she heard the plan. "OH YAY! Do I get to do anything fun?"

Jessica smiled. "Honey, as long as it gets them closer together, I don't care if you cleave the world in half and fling it into the void…but don't actually do it."

Kate smiled happily and began dreaming of her secret plots.

"The rest of them will be wandering around, but around lunch." Jessica said. "I'll send Matthew and Jaffar to pick up some cold medicine from Brian."

Brian looked up. "And what do I do?"

Jessica smiled. "You send them on a phony quest into the mountains that they can't possibly survive alone."

"…that's murder!" Brian said.

"I prefer the term 'intense training.'" Jessica said.

"But what if they die?" Brian asked.

"They won't die." Jessica said.

"Just do it Brian." Sonia said. "Oh and if the sandy haired one is free, have him call me."

Lulu and Fae smacked their sisters before everyone had a good laugh.

"Okay, finally, after dinner, serve desserts to everyone except for Hector and Vaida." Jessica said to Fae and Lulu. "Tell them that you miscounted and don't serve it until we all leave."

"Will everyone leave?" Lulu asked.

"I'll tell them Charlie's giving out free booze." Jessica said.

"HEY! I'm not giving out free booze." Charlie said.

"I'll pay for it." Jessica groaned. "Anyways, just get those two alone and we'll see what happens then."

Everyone around the table had a funny thought at what could happen. Some thoughts were more…graphic than others, and about a third of them involved some kind of dismemberment.

"Anyways, that'll be it for tonight." Jessica said.

"But…what do I get to do?" Sonia asked.

"Yano, I'd love to give you guys jobs, but in about three seconds, half the army's gonna scream bloody murder."

"Huh?" Pent asked confused. "Which half?"

"The half that fell asleep first." Jessica replied calmly.

Then horrible screams of pain and anger filled the hallways in response.

Jessica looked at the seven Silent Springs staff seated around the table. "You guys better git before someone wonders why we're having a slumber party with you guys."

"I know a secret way out." Kiyoko said.

"Huh! What?" Charlie asked. "There is no secret passage."

In response, Kiyoko pulled a trigger and opened a secret stairwell that lead to the lobby of the inn.

Charlie stared at Kiyoko. "…How come you never told me about that, and don't say it's cause I nev-"

"You never asked." Kiyoko said cheerfully before ducking into the stairwell. The three sisters, Brian and Kate soon followed. Charlie stared at the stairs.

"I swear…she's gonna be the death of me one day." He grumbled before moving down the stairwell. Jessica found the trigger and closed it. She kept a note of where it was in case it might become useful, then she walked outside and saw Pent, Louise, Canas and Bartre tending to a few wounded people.

"What happened?" Jessica asked calmly.

"Well, Raven woke up with a couple of bruises, and he had pink face paint." Pent said.

"Karla…" Jessica mumbled. "And?"

"Erk has a cold because Rebecca stole most of the blankets along with the bed. Priscilla's having bad nightmares and Karel almost sliced her in half when she jerked when I tapped her." Pent finished his report

"Kent has multicolored hair now curtesy of Serra." Canas said emerging from a room.

"Farina has a beard and moustache drawn on her face by Wil." Louise reported. "Then she proceeded to throttle the poor sniper. I calmed her down and gave Wil some ointment for his throat."

"Heath has about a dozen pulled muscles and a few bruises from trying to keep Lyn from murdering Sain." Dorcas said walking up. "Sain also has a few bruises from where Florina hit him.

"Oh and Nils was nearly dead after Hawkeye crushed him." Pent added. "Bartre was almost comatose from Lucius' sleep stave, but I restored him. He now has a splitting headache because he's gender confused."

Jessica sighed. "Okay, take care of everyone who's hurt and tell them to gather in the hall way in front of their doors."

After the wounded had been bandaged, Jessica faced her rather incompetent army.

"Okay people." Jessica said. "We're here to RELAX! I don't know about you guys, but face painting, hair dying, throttling and wrestling aren't exactly what I had in mind. Now you have two choices, and bitching isn't one of them. Either you guys go into your rooms and be good, or I kick you guys outside with a mere blanket and you can all freeze your asses off. I'd personally prefer choice one, but hey, I'm just the dumb tactician."

Everyone knew Jessica was irritated when she insulted herself.

"We clear?" Jessica asked. "Good, now GET BACK TO BED!"

Jessica had never seen people run that fast before. After the doors shut, She, along with Pent, Louise, Canas and Dorcas also turned in for the night.

Charlie, Kiyoko, Sonia, Fae, Lulu, Kate and Brian walked in silence most of the way to their own little village like group of houses in the mountains. It was a while before the silence was broken.

"Hey Charlie, can you help me tomorrow?" Kate asked.

"Sure…what do you need?" Charlie asked.

"Lotsa alcohol." Kate said.

"…you're gonna drug Erk and Rebecca aren't you?" Charlie asked.

"Of course not!" Kate said. "YOU'RE gonna drug them."

"…I walked into that one didn't I?" Charlie said shaking his head.

"Yep!" Kiyoko agreed before hitting the older boy over the head. She then took of shrieking as the furious innkeeper dashed off. The others laughed at the two younger kids run across the field before the younger girl finally outran Charlie.

The others took their time catching up with the panting innkeeper.

"You're out of shaper Charlie." Brian said. "You should work out more."

"Shut…up…" Charlie panted.

"So, will you bring the booze for me?" Kate asked again.

"Yeah yeah…" Charlie said. "But you gotta promise you won't make another perverted joke about me."

"Don't worry!" Kate said. "Between the sign incident, the pasta incident, and the bath soap incident, we have enough perversion from you to go around."

Everyone laughed while Charlie boiled over. Presently, Kiyoko trotted back.

"I'm tired…" Kiyoko said. "Gimme a piggy back ride!"

The girl jumped onto Brian who promptly buckled under the weight. Not that Kiyoko was heavy, the priest just never worked out.

"So who's out of shape again?" Charlie asked smirking. Unfortunately, he attracted the attention of the hyperactive girl who turned her sights on her new ride.

"Gimme piggy back ride!" She squealed before jumping onto Charlie's back and grabbing the poor inkeeper's hair.

"OW! HEY! GET OFF!" Charlie screamed. The girl shook her head and the boy had no choice but to carry her the rest of the way.

A while later, the seven arrived at their little villa and they began to spread out. Kiyoko had fortunately for Charlie, fallen asleep and was no longer causing him unnecessary pain. He gently took her into her house and tucked her in, making sure to grab his wallet from her pocket before he left for his own house. He checked to see if the girl had taken any gold out before locking it away. Then he quickly bathed and went to sleep, glad for the solitude.

The three sisters arrived at their own huge house and promptly began fighting for the bath.

Brian stopped by Charlie's house to give him some painkillers for the scratching and hair pulling that the innkeeper picked up during the walk before heading into his own house.

As for Kate, well she waited for everyone to go to bed before sneaking out and heading into the temple. Brian never locked it since there were only twenty-six people and nobody would want to sack a church anyways. Kate picked the lock on Brian's office door and moved over to Brian's secret medicine stash where he kept his potent potions and pills. There she scanned the rows of medication before finding the one she wanted. Grinning evilly, she pulled out two tablets and placed them into a small bag she brought along.

"Erk my boy…" She said to herself as she walked away from the temple back to her house. "You are in for one hell of a day."

* * *

Charlie: Wow…I'm done. YAY! That was long. Any guesses to what the medication Kate took equates to in the modern day? Anyways, thanks for reading, and please leave a review if you can!

Now for last chapter's reviewers.

KevinC: Heh, yep…it's gonna get bad. I'm just warming up right now…but when Kate drugs Erk…it's gonna be bad.

Nightmare3: Heh, the Random Generator does give me yaoi and yuri pairings, but I'm not making this fic yaoi and yuri. People like Matthew and Jaffar are just gonna be buds.

Lao Who Mai: Yes, I am trying to get them killed XD;;;;

RWT: I got sick of being the tactician, so I had my friend Miharu-San take over.

Fire Fanatic: Heh, thanks.

Random Person: Or ugly, depends on who you are n.n;;;

Phoenix Lord: Well, like I said, the pairings in the room assignments were done by a Random Number Generator I coded up, I had absolutely no say in the pairings n.n;;;

Kiyoko-Chan: Hehe, yep! I did it. Hehe, I realized that rule after I posted…didn't feel like changing it all though n.n;;; And don-…oh wait… Heh, I said you could call me "Chawee." Hehe, you're gonna be the death of me in this fic.

Oh yeah, by the way, if anyone's interested, I have one position open in the Silent Springs Staff. You're gonna be the school teacher who replaces Karen (Ch 1) while she's on maternity leave. If you're interested, leave a review with a name you go by (Make it normal…please) And your class/weapon of choice.

Oh and another position, Priestess (If any girls are interested), so Brian can have some help healing.


	3. Steamy Encounter

Charlie: ACK! I'm back! Okay...I obviously got WAY more applicants for teachers than I needed, so the ones who applied later will have other jobs I was planning to give out. Anyways, here's the full staff list right now for Silent Springs:

Name, Age, Class - Position

Main Staff  
Charlie, 17, Swordmaster – Innkeeper  
Sonia, 22, Sniper – Shopkeeper  
Lulu, 20, Pegasus Knight – Restaurant owner  
Fae, 18, Mage – Restaurant chef  
Kiyoko, 14, Assassin – Police force  
Brian, 18, Bishop – Priest  
Kate, 19, Bishop – Hot Springs manager

Supplementary Staff  
Fureal, ( if you have anything specific in mind, otherwise, I'll make one up), Sage– Magic Teacher  
Dias, (See above), Swordmaster – PE teacher  
Glenn, 34, Druid – History/English teacher  
George, 27, Myrmidon, Math/Science teacher

(Sorry for the rest of you, four teachers are more than enough, so you guys get to be other jobs. Besides…none of the teachers actually teach in this fic anyways.)

Alan, (Tell me if you have a specific age you really want, otherwise, I'll juts average you between the current age range), archer – Mountain Hiking Guide  
Kevin, 20, Druid – Librarian  
Erimus, 29 (If you don't mind, I really need to have you already married, thus the age), Assassin – Postal worker (I think I explained in the e-mail to you)

Samantha (Oh...dear...lord...thank...you...!), 17 (Sorry, I needed you to be under 18, if you want another age under 18, that's okay, just not like...8 or 9...), Cleric – Priestess  
Lizzie, 25 (I really...need her to be a bit older... 'sthat okay?), Civillian – (I've already got a priestess) Naturalist (Tells people about the surrounding scenery and works with Alan)

OC Staff

Karen, 24, Civillian – Headmistress of public school  
Kramer, 19, Mercenary – Assistant on the restaurant farm

Okay, here is a BIG note. Everyone in the supplementary staff will show up on days two or three. Anyways, I have above me... nineteen people. There are a grand total of 26-30 people (not including Karen's new baby) living in Silent Springs, so... if you guys don't mind, I'm going to start pairing you guys up with OCs and stuff like that. If you REALLY hate that idea, let me know and I'll veer you away, otherwise, I'm gonna do some pairings (Mainly I was wondering if George could be Karen's husband and if Fureal and Dias don't mind, they could be paired with Sonia and Lulu, and Erimus could be married with kids and stuff, just thoughts.) Anyways, if nobody has any objections, I will come up with a full census of Silent Springs complete with relations by next chapter.

Okay... anyways, that's enough for a grossly long author's note (next one'll be longer probably though). Enjoy the chapter, I'll explain more stuff at the end.

* * *

Day 1 - Steamy Encounter

Charlie woke up early in the morning when the sun was barely rising in the horizon. As he got up, the man shivered, it was rather cold. Groaning, he pulled on a pair of warm pants and a warm wool shirt. Wrapping himself up in a cloak, the man got up and stretched his legs. Today was the first day of the long two weeks of insanity that was sure to come. Charlie wanted to get an early start. He glanced around and noticed a piece of paper on his desk. He suddenly remembered that he had an English paper due.

Despite owning the inn, Charlie was still seventeen. His classes were light since he completed basically everything already. It was his last year in school, so he didn't even have to show up most of the time. All Charlie did was study on his own, get assignments from his teachers and hand them in.

Looking over at the desk, he saw that he had a draft written out. Shrugging, he grabbed the paper and walked out the door, knowing that his English teacher, Mr. Glenn would NOT be happy. It didn't matter to him. His grades were decent enough that one bad grade wouldn't hurt it much. Grabbing a piece of bread, Charlie wolfed it down and walked out of the door, only to be tackled by a warm bundle of energy.

"Are ya ready!" The hyperactive bundle squealed jumping up and down on Charlie's body. The innkeeper groaned in pain.

"Ugh...how you manage to stay like this in the morning amazes me Kiyo." He mumbled. He looked around, no one else was up, but no one else had a reason to. Of the seven who lived in the little villa, he and Kiyoko were the only ones who still had to go to school. Charlie's face fell at the prospect of having to walk all the way to the schoolyard with the sugar high girl next to him.

"You gonna cut class again today?" Kiyoko asked.

"Yeah..." Charlie said. "When do I EVER come to class?"

"Aww, but today's ketchup and rice day in the cafeteria!" Kiyoko squealed. "Besides! Ever since the others graduated and you stopped coming to school, it's been very lonely there. Sammy never comes either so there's only half a dozen or so kids left. It's no fun anymore!"

"Sorry Kiyo." Charlie said. "Maybe after our guests leave Silent Springs I'll join you for a class or two, but Kate really needs me to mix those drinks for her."

"Aww, okay!" Kiyoko said. "What drink are you planning to make anyways?"

"Well, Kate wants them relatively drunk, but not so badly that they kill each other. I'm thinking about the Silent Death." Charlie said.

"Is that the glowing green one?" Kiyoko asked.

"No, that's the Peruvian Knockout." Charlie said. "I'm talking about the one with three different kinds of Lycian Vodka and some orange juice."

"Isn't that the Screwdriver?" Kiyoko asked.

"No, Screwdriver is orange juice with one kind of vodka, I'm doing three." Charlie said.

"Ohh, will it work?" Kiyoko asked.

"Well, at 48 percent alcohol by volume, yes, it should." Charlie said.

"But I like the glowing green one!" Kiyoko said. "Why not that one?"

"Because that one is one hundred and sixty percent alcohol by volume." Charlie replied. "At Erk and Rebecca's age, that would probably kill them."

"Aww..." Kiyoko said. "Hey, how about Mai Tais? I like those."

"Mai Tais would probably cause Erk and Rebecca to go into a state where the might destroy something." Charlie said. "And what do you mean by you 'like' Mai Tais?" The man raised an eyebrow at the girl who grinned cheerfully.

"They look pretty!" Kiyoko said. "And they taste funny!"

"...Have you been snooping around my cocktails again?" Charlie asked.

Kiyoko grinned and took off as Charlie chased after her screaming various expletives. The two ran all the way to the schoolyard where Kiyoko finally let herself be caught.

"Got...you..." Charlie panted as he weakly picked Kiyoko up to keep her from running away again. He looked around and saw the other students, or whatever was left of the student body after his friends had graduated and he stopped going, stare at him. He growled and put the girl down.

"Okay, now go to class and behave Kiyoko." Charlie told the girl.

"I will!" Kiyoko said. "I'll give old manGlenn your paper too!"

"Heh, don't call him that or he might eat you." Charlie laughed. He gave the girl a warm hug to send her on her way. Then before she left, he held out his hands. "Now give me my wallet."

Kiyoko's face fell and reluctantly she took out a small bag and handed it to the innkeeper who fastened the thing to his belt.

"Okay, now my money." Charlie said. Kiyoko face fell even more and she reached into her pocket and pulled out a few gold pieces. Charlie checked to see if they were all there, they were.

"Okay, stay safe Kiyo, I'll see you later." Charlie said turning around. Suddenly he felt a sharp chill around his legs, looking down, he saw that his pants were missing. He turned around and saw Kiyoko and the other students rolling around laughing.

"Okay...harhar, you can steal my pants from under me, now give it back." Charlie said his face reddening. The young girl gave the man his pants back and he stalked off with a gloom cloud over his head.

When Charlie arrived at the inn, the sun had risen halfway up the horizon. Going into the lobby, Charlie cranked up the boiler and set aside his scarf and hat. He then went into the kitchen behind the bar and brought out trays of bread, fruit, butter and various beverages and set the out on a long table at one end of the lobby that also served as a dining room for guests who preferred to eat in the inn. After making sure enough food and plates were out, he went back behind the bar and began going through selections of vodka to begin mixing the drinks.

While he mixed the drinks for Kate, the guests began to wake and trickle into the dining room by twos and threes. First one down was the married couple, Pent and Louise who greeted Charlie politely and went over to get some food; Dorcas and Canas followed them.

A while later, Jessica came down with a small booklet. She looked at edgy as she approached Charlie at the bar.

"Hey, I have something for you." Jessica said handing over the booklet.

Charlie took the small booklet and flipped through it. It had the names and profile of every member of the army.

"I thought you might need it." Jessica said.

"Thanks, this would help a bit." Charlie said nodding.

Jessica nodded curtly and left to get food. Charlie flipped through the booklet as he measured out amounts of vodkas and mixed them. He began to associate names to the faces that were already downstairs.

Within the hour, Charlie was done mixing his drinks and the entire army was downstairs. Just as Charlie was about to take the drinks into the back, a little boy of no more than ten or eleven years old came up to him. Charlie flipped through the book and recognized him as Nils.

"What do you want kid?" Charlie asked.

Nils looked around as if perplexed, then his eyes fastened onto the bottle of orange juice Charlie had out for the mixed drinks and the mixed drinks itself. Without asking, Nils took a cup and began drinking, much to Charlie's horror.

"Hey! Stop! That's not for you to drink!" Charlie said frantically as the boy downed the entire cup. "Oh...shit..." Theabout-to-be-dead innkeeper said.

The alcohol knocked the boy out immediately and his small frame hit the ground with a light thud. Across the room, a girl with light blue hair ran over calling out Nils' name.

"Oh my god!" Ninian said. "What happened to him!" She was hunched over Nils with Charlie. Soon, her frantic crying attracted the attentions of Eliwood and Jessica who also came over.

"What happened?" Jessica asked Charlie.

"He grabbed a cup of vodka thinking it was orange juice." Charlie said, half lying. "I was too late to stop him."

"He should be fine." Eliwood said. "Just get him to bed."

Ninian nodded and carried her brother back up the stairs. Eliwood and Jessica looked at the two siblings go up the stairs and they went back to their meals. Charlie sighed and went behind his bar to remix the drinks.

After he was done, Kate walked into the inn, looking nervously around her. Charlie began to get a bad feeling about things. When Kate was nervous, bad things were usually happening.

"Something wrong Kate?" Charlie asked when the young woman walked up to the bar.

"I'm fine, I brought some medicine from Brian. It's cold medicine for Erk and Rebecca." Kate said. "Just mix them into the drinks."

Charlie looked at Kate weird. "Why? Can't you just have them take it now?" He pointed to Rebecca seated with Louise and Erk sitting next to Canas and Lucius. "They're right there."

"Because they're supposed to have this on a somewhat empty stomach." Kate lied. "So, now wouldn't be a good time."

Charlie had a feeling that Kate was hiding something, but he had no reason to suspect that Kate would poison anyone, so he agreed and dropped the pills into the drinks and mixed them until they dissolved. Kate thanked him and hurriedly ran out the inn to open up the hot springs.

Across the room, Erk was sneezing periodically as he forced pieces of strawberries and melons down his throat. Canas was calmly reading a book while Lucius rubbed his eyes and tried to keep from falling asleep in his yogurt.

"What's with you?" Erk asked sniffling.

"Bartre..." Lucius muttered. Erk looked across the room at the warrior who was holding his head while trying to eat. "What happened?" The sage asked.

"He thought I was a girl." Lucius said. "When he found out I was a guy, he tried to kill me. So I pretended to be a girl again, and then he got a splitting migraine because he can't talk to girls. So I hit him with the sleep stave, but then he wouldn't stop snoring."

Erk and Canas were struggling to hold back their laughter.

"Hey!" Lucius said noticing their shaking frames. "It's not funny."

"To us it is." Canas snickered. "Come on, it's Bartre, what'd you expect? The guy's decent enough, but he isn't educated, so obviously he's gonna have some trouble getting used to you."

"Besides, it couldn't have been worse than my night." Erk said sneezing again. "Bloody Rebecca stole the bed and gave me only one blanket. I swear...when I get my hands on her I'm going to kill her."

"Really, you've been talking about her a lot lately." Canas said. "First the fight, then you wouldn't shut up about her being a sissy, and now this. I think you secretly love her."

Erk glared at Canas. "Elder magic or not, if you bring that up one more time, I will throw you off the mountain."

Canas burst out laughing while Lucius stifled a yawn.

"Dude, Lucius, go ask Jessica for a transfer." Erk said. "You're gonna die if you don't."

"I already did." Lucius said yawning.

"What'd she say?" Erk asked.

From the next table, Jessica's voice rang out. "I said no, unless Lucius can find a volunteer."

Erk looked over to the tactician who was sitting with Isadora, Kent and a rather tired looking Sain. One table over, Lyn was sitting with Florina and her sisters while constantly glaring daggers at Sain.

"Please!" Lucius said. "I'll do anything!"

"Why don't you try helping Bartre?" Canas suddenly suggested. "You know, educate him."

"Yeah...that'll be the day." Sain mumbled stuffing a berry into his mouth.

"Hmm, that might work." Lucius said. "If I can educate that man, why then, everyone will benefit from it!"

"Yeah, but trust me, you're not gonna be able to do it." Jessica said.

"Oh yeah?" Lucius said defiantly. "I bet you I can."

"Okay, how about this Lucius." Jessica said. "If you can teach Bartre to be a refined gentlemen in fourteen days, I'll have Sain here strip down and run around naked in the courtyard at night."

Sain spat whatever he was chewing across the table hitting Kent full in the face. Poor Kent had to go to the bathroom to rinse out his eyes.

"WHAT!" Sain yelled. "Hell no!"

"Yes, or I'm putting you in a room with Lyn." Jessica said.

Sain gulped and glanced over at Lyn who was screaming to high heaven.

"YOU BETTER DO IT OR ELSE I'LL EAT YOUR SPLEEN!" She screamed.

"Ugh...fine." Sain said. "Only because I know Bartre'll make it."

"There we go, do we have a deal Lucius?" Jessica said.

Lucius thought for a while. "Deal." he said, and he shook Jessica's hand.

Erk looked up. "Wait, what does Lucius have to do if he fails?"

Jessica smiled evilly. "Shave his head."

"WHAT!" Lucius screamed.

Sain, Isadora, Erk, and Canas burst out laughing as Lucius hugged his beautiful shining blonde hair and complained to Jessica.

"Sorry Lucius, but you shook on it." The tactician smiled. "Oh and Erk, meet me outside in ten minutes, I need you to run a small errand for me."

Erk nodded weakly having been drained from laughing. He placed a hand on Lucius'' shoulder.

"Hey, at least we can use your hair to weave a blanket for the local children." Erk said chuckling. Then he ran out as fast as he could while Lucius threw whatever he could find at the laughing sage. After Erk had gone outside to wait for Jessica, he turned towards Canas.

"...Don't say a word." Lucius muttered.

"Hehe, don't worry." Canas said and resumed his reading.

As Jessica walkedamong the tables looking for Rebecca, she saw many interesting sights.

Heath was sitting with Vaida, Merlinus and Marcus, and he had ice packs all over his body while his companions laughed at his misfortune of having to restrain Lyn. Eliwood and Hector were seated together and the red haired lord was listening to his friend complain about Vaida. Jaffar and Matthew sat at opposite ends of a table while Legault sat between them trying to calm the two down. Karla and Raven were both asleep in their cereal from probably staying up all night in hopes that the other would sleep first. Nino was running around them painting something on their faces while Lowen and Oswin tried to catch her. Geitz and Dorcas were trying to help Bartre with his confusion. Guy and Karel sat opposite each other eating in silence while Wil, Rebecca and Louise sat at the table next to them and talked animatedly. Serra and Priscilla sat a distance away from Karel, and Serra was trying to calm the shell-shocked troubadour from her frightful evening. Dart was sitting with Hawkeye and both were wolfing down food like it was their first meal in days.

Jessica approached Rebecca and asked the sniper to meet her outside the door. After Rebecca had left, Louise gave Jessica a questioning look. Jessica nodded and Louise reciprocated the action. When Jessica walked away, Wil looked at Louise with big question marks in his eyes. Louise shrugged him off and began to ramble on about hair and make-up, to which Wil responded by promptly falling asleep.

Jessica wasn't surprised at the fact thatErk and Rebecca were glaring at each other with an ice coldness when she got there. She cleared her throat loudly to catch their attention.

"Ahem... are you two okay?"

Erk and Rebecca turned towards Jessica and nodded, but they were still glaring at each other out of the corner of one eye.

"Okay, I've got a simple job for you." Jessica said. "I just need you to go over to the hot springs and pick up some vouchers for the afternoon. Kate, the lady who runs the place, promised to give us enough. Do you think you two can handle it?"

"Sure...but why do you need two of us to go?" Rebecca asked.

"Well, there's a separate spring for guys and gals." Jessica said. "Kate may want you guys to test the water, so I'm sending you two."

Erk nodded. "You'll be here when we get back right?"

"Don't worry." Jessica said. "It shouldn't take too long, and in case I'm not, just leave it with Charlie. Everyone's just gonna spend the morning doing whatever so he'll keep the vouchers for us."

"Okay, we'll be back soon." Erk said and he and Rebecca turned and walked across the street towards the hot springs. Kate was already outside waiting for them. When they got there, she ushered them in and then winked at Jessica before disappearing into reception building of the hot springs.

Jessica turned and smiled. "Have fun you two..."

She then walked inside and finished her breakfast, thinking of what to do in the morning.

Rebecca and Erk stared walked into the simple reception building in front of the hidden hot springs. There was a single desk, a few chairs and two doors leading to the changing rooms. Kate smiled and pulled out a huge stack of vouchers. Then she looked at Rebecca and Erk.

"Hey, I've been sick for the past two days, so I need you to check to see if the water's just right in the springs, do you guys mind?" Kate asked.

Rebecca and Erk shrugged.

"Sure." They said. Kate squealed and she led them to their individual changing rooms promising them that she had set out towels for them in their separate springs. The truth was, Kate had actually switched the signs in one of the rooms so that both Erk and Rebecca would be heading into the same springs. Kate moved around to an employee's door and headedstraight towhere the door opened into the girls side of the outdoor spring. She hid in a little alcove next to where the door opened and waited. A bit later, Erk emerged, wearing absolutely nothing. Kate blushed and closed her eyes and waited for Erk to get into the springs. When he did, Kate opened her eyes and was glad that the steam from the baths concealed the sage quite well. Moments later, Rebecca came in wearing nothing as well. She found the towel and moved it across the springs to where she wanted to go. Then she too sank into the water and relaxed. Kate moved silently out of her hiding spot and in through the door into the changing buildings. She nearly screamed when Charlie tapped her on the shoulders.

"Charlie!" Kate said breathlessly. "Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry, I got you drinks." Charlie said. "What should I do with it?"

Kate thought for a while before getting an idea. She rummaged in her cloak for a quill, a bottle of ink, and some paper. She quickly wrote a quick message on the paper and set it onto the tray that Charlie carried the drinks on.

"Go set it inside, they'll see it soon." Kate said.

After Charlie came back out, Kate locked the door and the two went quietly into the reception area. Kate thanked Charlie and the innkeeper went on his way.

When Charlie came out of the reception building, he noticed that a lot of his guest were out and about, checking out the stores, the scenery and walking around in general. Last night, Jessica told Brian to send messages to everyone in Silent Springs about Jessica's plans. So far, it seems that everyone understood, sincethe tour guides, naturalist and other residents of Silent Springs weren'tout trying to attract costumers, knowing that they would have costumers in due time.

As Charlie headed back towards his inn, he saw Brian run up to him waving his arms. The priest looked frantic.

"You okay Brian?" Charlie asked.

Brian shook his head as he tried to catch his breath. "Someone...stole...medicine...help...find..."

"Okay...slow down." Charlie said and he patted Brian's back while the priest caught his breath. "Okay." Charlie said once Brian was calm. "Tell me what happened."

"Someonestolesomemedicinefrommyprivatestash." Brian spat out.

"...In English please?" Charlie asked.

"Someone stole something from my private medicine stash." Brian said. "Two pills are missing."

"Wait... twopills?" Charlie asked, suddenly remembering Kate's nervousness earlier this morning.

"Yeah, why?" Brian asked.

"Did you ever ask Kate to give me two cold pills for Erk and Rebecca?" Charlie asked.

"No..." Brian said. "Why?"

"She came in this morning and told me to mix two 'cold pills' that you gave her into Erk and Rebecca's drinks." Charlie said. "She looked very nervous and edgy."

Brian's features suddenly contorted into a mask of fury. "WHAT! I NEVER GAVE HER ANY COLD PILLS!"

"Well, I guess we know who stole your medicine." Charlie said. "What was that pill for anyways?"

Brian blushed. "It umm... well, it's called Viagra, I invented it fairly recently. It umm... heightens...sexual urges shall we say?" Brian said uneasily. He then turned serious and looked Charlie in the eye. "So...you didn't give it to them while they were eatingdid you?"

"No..." Charlie said.

"Good." Brian said. "Now where are the drinks you drugged so we can get rid of them?"

"In the hot springs...with Erk and Rebecca." Charlie said.

"...Ahh crap." Brian said. "Okay, between you and me, nothing happened okay?"

"Sure...whatever that means..." Charlie said uneasily.

"I mean it, you don't know about the Viagra, and I don't know that someone stole some from me." Brian said.

Charlie nodded, understanding what Brian meant.

"Good." Brian said. "Because when you mix alcohol with Viagra and put it into two naked people in a hot springs...well, stuff happens."

Charlie gulped, nodded his understanding before heading back to his inn, hoping that his face didn't look panicked.

Inside the hot springs, Erk relaxed in the warm water, grate for the solitude and the wonderful feel of the bubbling water against his frozen body. He wondered if Jessica would let him stay in there for the entire day, but then he remembered that he and Rebecca still needed to deliver those vouchers.

The thought of the green haired sniper girl immediately soured him. He detested her with a passion, or so he thought he did. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Erk picked himself up from the bath and went looking for the towel.

To his dismay, it wasn't where he thought it had been. He looked around the springs for the towel, grateful that the ground wasn't snow covered. As he moved over to the other side of the springs, he found the towel scrunched up on top of a rock. Wondering how it got there, Erk took a few steps to get the towel, only to freeze when he saw a green haired figure relaxing in the springs.

"Re-Rebecca!" Erk yelled, surprised. The sniper turned around and immediately turned red. Her hands moved down to cover herself (even though the water already covered her pretty well) and she screamed to high heaven.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! ERK! GET OUT OF HERE YOU PERVERT!" Rebecca screamed.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!" Erk yelled back, his arms up and flailing. "YOU'RE ON THE GUY'S SIDE OF THE SPRINGS!"

"NO I'M NOT! YOU'RE ON THE GIRL'S SIDE!" Rebecca yelled.

"WHAT! YOU'RE CRAZY!" Erk yelled back.

Rebecca glared up at Erk. "You're the one who's crazy you cra-" Rebecca stopped and turned beet red before looking away. Erk looked confused.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"You...put on that damned towel." Rebecca snarled.

Erk suddenly realized that he was in his birthday suit in front of Rebecca. He immediately took the towel and wrapped it around his waist.

"Okay..." Erk said. "Maybe some of the local kids switched the signs on one of the rooms."

"Or maybe you're a pervert and wanted to molest me." Rebecca retorted.

"I'd rather molest a rock." Erk said. "It wouldn't be ascold as you are."

Rebecca turned red and her face contorted into a fierce scowl. She turned towards Erk and leaped out of the water intent on killing the poor sage. "WHY YOU INSENSITIVE CREATIN!" She screamed.

Erk didn't have time to dodge away before Rebecca hit hand and the two of them tumbled to the ground. After they stopped rolling, the sniper was still on top of him her hand around his neck. Erk pushed at her, trying to get her off. The girl wasn't strong enough or skilled enough to know where to hold to choke someone, but she was crushing his spine. Suddenly, he noticed that he had lost his towel in the little tumble the two had, creating a rather, perverse image of what the two looked like right now in his mind, especially after feeling her against his chest.

"Rebecca..." Erk gasped. "Get...off...me...I lost...my towel...you...re...naked...ow..."

Rebecca suddenly noticed her nudity too and immediately lifted herself off Erk and covered her intimate parts. She kicked Erk sharply in the side before ducking back into the water.

Erk got up and dusted himself off before finding the towel again. After making sure that he was covered, he walked off away from Rebecca.

"Where are you going?" Rebecca asked.

"I'm finding a way out; then I'm going to kill Kate." Erk said.

"Save some for me." Rebecca growled.

Erk chuckled despite himself and found the door leading out. To his dismay, it was locked. Erk looked around for another way out. Smooth rocks that served as resting places surrounded the hot springs. On the other side of the rocks, were either extremely dense forests or a sheer cliff that dropped down hundreds of feet, giving a rather magnificent view of the mountain range. Erk hadn't noticed how beautiful the mountains of Silent Springs were until now. To the third side, a huge brick wall separated them from the other side of the hot springs. Dismayed he walked back towards Rebecca.

That's when he noticed a tray with two cups on it. He walked over and picked it up. On the tray, two refreshing drinks sat with a note from Kate. Erk grabbed the note and began reading, getting more and more discouraged with each word.

A while later, Erk finally went back to Rebecca, carrying the drinks and the note.

"Find a way out?" Rebecca asked.

"Not unless you want to scale a hundred foot cliff." Erk said.

"You should go throw yourself off it and save us both the trouble." Rebecca smirked.

"Haha, don't quit your day job." Erk said sarcastically. "We're stuck here. The door's locked and a minor avalanche hit the town so everyone's basically snowed in. Kate left us a note apologizing and some drinks." Erk held out the note and the tray.

Rebecca took the note and read it. "Wow, guess we're stuck here..." Rebecca said. "What's in the drinks?"

"I have no clue." Erk said. "Nothing I've ever seen."

"Meh, Kate seemed nice enough, though she did lock us in here and forgot to check the signs." Rebecca said grabbing a cup and taking light sips. "If I weren't so trusting, I'd suspect that she and Jessica are up to something. Ohh, this has a kick."

"Yeah, really. Like they purposely trapped us in here hoping something would happen, and lemme try that drink." Erk said grabbing the second cup and drinking half of it. "It's not bad though."

Rebecca nodded and continued drinking. Soon, both cups were gone and Erk and Rebecca lounged lazily in the same general area. Erk was sprawled on the rocks while Rebecca pruned in the springs.

"Ugh...I'm getting pruney..." The green haired girl said. "Erk, wanna trade places?"

Erk suddenly noticed the cold and thought about the inviting warmth of the hot springs. He nodded and took off the towel, jumping into the springs while Rebecca got out and wrapped the towel around her body and sprawled out onto the stones.

For what seemed like hours the two stayed there, sluggish and unresponsive as the alcohol and the viagra took their toll on their bodies. After a while, Erk's brain barely functioned. He looked at his pruning skin and decided to get out of the water. When he got out, he tripped over a figure sprawled on the ground. Drowsily, the sage went over and poked the lump.

He saw who he thought was the most beautiful girl he ever imagined. Her soft green hair that flowed to her waist, matching emerald eyes, he soft facial features and her lips so full and kissable, and her body, so tender and full of curves. It took him a long time to remember that he was staring at Rebecca, but the longer he looked at her, the longer a burning passion inside of him flamed.

Moments later, Rebecca's eyes fluttered open, and she looked at the handsome face above her. She smiled, "Who are you?" She half-slurred half-purred.

"It's...me..." Erk slurred back, a bit out of breath. "Erk…"

"Erk…" Rebecca replied..." Erk...oh yeah..." She suddenly remembered him. "Why are you here?"

"Don't...you...remember? Hot...springs…vouchers…?" Erk's speech deteriorated as his head got closer to Rebecca. He didn't know what was happening, his brain was screaming bloody murder, but he found that his body wanted to do nothing but make the angelic beauty in front of him his own.

Rebecca looked up at Erk. Her hands snaked behind his head asErk twisted his bodyon top of her. She felt his hands yank the towel that covered her body from his and moaned as she felt his hot skin against her cold body. Rebecca smiled, despite her conscious mind telling her that she would rather jump off a cliff than have sex with Erk. But right now, Rebecca's body was ravaged by the Viagra and three different kinds of strong vodka. She pushed away her thoughts and looked seductively into Erk's eyes, rubbing her body against him. Moments later, her eyes closed as her lips captured his in a hot kiss.

In the inn, Charlie was becoming more and more uneasy as time passed. He hadn't heard any interesting noises emitting from the hot springs yet, but he was sure it was only a matter of time. But as he sat there thinking, his conscience got the better of him. He went out and tracked the tactician down.

"Jessica..." Charlie said breathlessly as he tracked down the tactician.

"Eh? You okay? You look like a wyvern just stepped on your stomach." The tactician said.

"Kate tricked me into drugging Erk and Rebecca with a drink and a pill that increases their sexual lust." Charlie gasped. "If you don't stop them, they're gonna...do...stuff."

Jessica shrugged. "So?"

"That's bad..." Charlie said. "VERY bad."

"What's so bad about it? I wanted them to get closer." Jessica said happily. "Now they're gonna become part of each other. How romantic."

"You don't get it!" Charlie said. "Any other time I would be happy to let Erk and Rebecca screw to their heart's content, but if you don't want Rebecca toaccidentally getpregnant while you finish your journey, you want to stop them NOW."

"So? We have other snipers." Jessica said.

"No, I mean when Rebecca becomes pregnant, she;ll be like on a super PMS mode." Charlie said.

"And your point is?" Jessica asked.

"OH COME ON!" Charlie pleaded. "You know the symptoms of PMS.Sometimesgirl feels pain and gets uncomfortable. Other times they feel depressed or insanly hyper. Andalmost always the girl woud at some pointjust wish that the love of their life should go get crushed by a Dragon. If Rebecca gets murderous thoughts, won't you be in a worse position?"

"...Ahh, crap." Jessica remembering that she still had to lead the army to Nergal after fourteen days. "How long ago did you give them the pills?"

"At least two hoursor so, depending on when they drank the drugged drinks." Charlie said.

"We still have time if we're lucky!" Jessica sad. "To the hot springs! We have a baby to kill!"

"...That sounds depressing." Charlie said as he ran towards the hot springs with Jessica.

"If you have something better, let me know." Jessica said.

Charlie shrugged and the two ran into the reception area of the hot springs and darted past a surprised Kate.

Inside the springs, Rebecca was already panting heavily as Erk's drunken hands worked their magic on her. She moaned his name and begged him to fulfill her lust. Erk smiled, and helifted himself off of Rebecca's tense bodyand positioned himself just outside her. His eyes, drunk with lust and enough alcohol to knock out a baby wyvern, stared back into Rebecca's passionate eyes as she smiled and dug her nails into Erk's back, bracing herself for the hit. Just as Erk got ready to take the plunge into Rebecca, two out of breath figures blew the door down and began throwing various blunt objects towards the drunk "lovers." Before either of the two could respond, a rock caught Erk on the head and he was thrown off Rebecca, completely knocked out.

"ERK!" Rebecca yelled trying to jump on him again, but before she could, Charlie dashed up to her and pressed a pressure point at the base of her neck. Rebecca too fell cold to the ground

After getting some towels to cover their bodies, Charlie dragged the sage into the men's changing room while Jessica dragged Rebecca into the women's changing room. A while later, both Erk and Rebecca were at least partiallydressed and were carried back to the inn with the help of Kate and Canas, who walked by after seeing Charlie and Jessica break all Elibe records for the hundred meter dash.

After tucking the two into their bed, Canas and Kate left to tend to their own duties whilethe innkeeper and the tactician walked down the stairs, breathing a sigh of relief.

"They didn't do it." Jessica announced after a long silence

"How do you know?" Charlie asked.

"Call it a woman's intuition. Plus I checked Rebecca. She was extremely aroused, quite possibly because of that stupid drug of yours, but I didn't see any signs of penetration. We should be safe."

Charlie stared at the youg female tactician."Are you really sixteen years old as that booklet of profiles say you are?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"Meh, I just know these things." Jessica shrugged.

"Gee...I wonder why..." Charlie muttered trying to suppress a laughter, but unfortunately just loud enough for the tactician to hear.

"Hey, watch it or else I'm goint to do something, to you." Jessica said emphasizing the last two words.

Charlie chuckled. "I'm just kidding."

"You better be." Jessica growled.

A while later, Erk and Rebecca woke up. Erk looked at the bright sun high in the sky outside and judged it was noon already. He rubbed his eyes and turned in the bed, hoping to sleep off the horrible headache he had. Suddenly, his arm hit a lump in his bed that stirred when he hit it.

"Ugh..." Rebecca groaned as she was woken up. "My head."

Erk's brain suddenly snapped and he bolted upright in the bed. "Oh God...Rebecca?"

Erk shook the sniper who groaned and tried to shrug him off. He finally went into the bathroom and grabbed a cupful of water. Going back, he splashed Rebecca, who immediately woke. She looked up confused; her head killing her. She wondered why Erk looked so serious.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"When I woke up...we...were...uhh...in bed..." Erk said. "Together."

Rebecca stared at Erk. "O hahaErk." Rebecca said sarcastically. "Stop joking."

Erk looked sternly into Rebecca's eyes and shook hishead. Rebecca began to get worried. "You AREjoking right?" But one look at Erk's eyes told her he wasn't. "Eheh...you really...aren't...joking..."

Rebecca's face fell. She looked at Erk's disheveled hair and partial nudity to her own wet, clumped hair and partially exposed body, mainly from a half buttoned blouse.

"We...didn't...do...IT...did we?" Rebecca asked.

"I...don't know." Erk said. "All I remember was the hot springs...then...drinks...then...I got up and I tripped and..."

Erk fell silent as his words sparked his memory and images of their little tryst came back to him. From the look of Rebecca's blushing face, he guessed that she remembered a little too.

"Rebecca...I'm sorry...I guess I got drunk." Erk said.

Rebecca looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with tears. "Erk..." She said breaking into sobs. "Forget...it," She murmered through her sniffling. "I'll kill you later.

Erk sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. Rebecca finally broke down andcried into Erk's chest while thesage just sat there,letting the girl cry into his chest. As he sat there, comforting Rebecca, his mind wondered. Questions such as: Did they really do it? What is everyone else going to say? Is Rebecca going to be pregnant? And how am I going to kill that bloody Kate? Floated in and out of his brain as he sat there and held the girl whom his conscience no longer hated with a passion. As he realized that he couldn't bring himself to hate Rebecca anymore...he wondered if he was just feeling pity for her and himself...or if it was something else.

* * *

Charlie: Just as a note...they ALMOST did it before me and Jessica burst in on them and knocked them silly. Heh, just a note.

Okay, anyways, staffing for Silent Springs is CLOSED for guys, sorry, but I have way too many guys. I will however accept female applicants, but you will have to be married to one of the guys. So if any of you ladies want to be married to any of our lovely male characters (Or have a suggestion to pairings) feel free to tell me. First come, first serve.

And guys, if nobody wants to marry you, I'll give you guys a family...because I'm running out of population and I still need a few kids to keep Kiyoko company in school. Well, thanks for all your feedback on this, I hope you'll continue to enjoy my fic.

**Reviewer's Corner n.n**

Jackswitch: Heh, thanks. You got the first teaching job! Anyways, I'll be e-mailing you about physical features later so I won't lose it when I get to the schoolyard gags. Anyways, see my note about age and pairings, if you don't mind, you're gonna probably be married with a kid...or at least going out with one of the female characters, but if you really don't want to, I won't force ya.

Dias of All Final: Dead bodies...not quite. Tired, bruised, and broken bodies, most definintely. Anyways, you got the second teaching job. Again, if you don't mind, I'm gonna make you married with kids or going out with one of the female characters, since I gotta fill the population quota of 26-30 with at least a decent amout of married/coupled people.

RWT: After writing this chapter...I'd definitely pity Sain more XD;;;

Random Person/Glenn: Cool! Anyways, you're the cranky English teacher who hates Charlie for never showing up to school! Hehe, I always wanted a mean English teacher, (All mine were either old or extremely nice). Anyways, I hope you don't mind if I give you a wife and kids.

Blazing Fool: Yep, Jessica would be thrown bodily from the mountain off the cliffs in the back of the hot springs. Which would be quite interesting.

Green Paladin: Nah, no body bags. Straight jacket maybe. Heh and who knows about Sain and Florina...I always felt that it should be a real pairing in the game, but oh well. Lyn's gonna bite Sain's head off. Anyways, see my notes about George. (And his possible relationship with Karen)

Springleburt: Heh, I hope you don't mind me giving you the hiking guide job, since you're an archer. The teachers don't really...teach anyways in this fic, so anyways see my note about pairings. (The StaffxStaff pairings are going to be pre-existing, meaning they're either already going out, or they're already married)

Inferno-Hero: That's what happens to Erk. He almost takes the virginity of Rebecca...almost...for now. XD;;; we'll see what happens as the days go on, but Erk's life won't get better until he and Rebecca actually DO get together...which...might take a while, if they don't kill each other first.

Samantha: YAY! My first priestess applicant! And you're perfect for the job! Umm, if you don't mind...could you give me a description of yourself that you want me to use?

Lao Who Mai: I've already got a priestess, but I need female characters. I really hope you don't mind if I pair up Lizzie with someone. (And like increase her age by a few years) Anyways, Rebecca's too tired to kill Erk. But perhaps later... -snicker-

Nightmare3: Yes, I cannot write Yuri and Yaoi. Anyways, Rebecca was too tired to kill Erk...but as I told Lao Who Mai... soon... And Karla and Raven...oh dear... XD;;; thinking about what I'm gonna do to them makes me shiver

KevinC: Heh, I got one of the plots out. Erk and Rebecca succumb to passion! ...and Viagra...but that's Kate's fault. Plus she's a horrible lier...avalanche...hah. Anyways, Kevin's the Librarian...and trust me, the Silent Springs Library is not your average library, I can promise you that.

Lafia: Yes, poor Eliwood. Hah, wait 'till you see what horrible thing happens to him. And Legault is definitely gonna win some money off this trip.

Draknal: Heh, I couldn't make it too graphic, but yes, I did drug those two and I'm proud of it! -awaits the FBI- Anyways, you get to be the delivery guy. And trust me, with Jessica's twisted mind, you're gonna be a pivotal figure in her perverted scheme.I hope you're ready forsome of the packagesJessica makes you deliver. Anyways, yeah, I hope you got my e-mail.

Springleburt: Yes...it is Viagra...ehehe...I like being cruel. Anyways, Viagra plus Alcohol plus Hot Springs equals ...Okay...lets not go there. And I hope your friend is all right. O.o remind me never to accept a mixed drink from you. XD;;; j/k

Kiyoko-Chan: n.n I need to expand your closet space again! Hehe, well, nobody's gonna die. Their lives may be shortened considerably, but they won't die. And yes, poor Erk. Rebecca didn't kill him...yet. But once his little tryst in the hot springs gets out... oh dear lord.

Wow...lotsa reviews. I'm really glad you guys like this fic. XD;;; I thought I was crazy when I first came up with the idea to use a random number generator to get couples for a fic, but hey, it's working out. Anyways, next chapter, Jaffar and Matthew go on a little bonding adventure (not the love kind) and Erk and Rebecca must face the rest of the army. Stay tuned!

Oh and by the way, as Silent Springs staff, you get semi-abused (mostly by the kids of Silent Springs, from Kiyoko, to future OC children of Staff couples, to Karen's new baby), but hey, that's also sorta fun right? You get to take our anger out by causing lotsa trouble for Eliwood and his gang.

New record at over 7000 words for this chapter! YAY!


	4. Schoolyard Bliss and Temple Demons

Charlie: hello all. I just wanted to see your reactions on my writing a semi-explicit scene. It was an interesting thing to do, I might stick one or two in here and there, but don't count on too many. Anyways, I have here the entire Silent Springs staffing and relationship chart here and in my profile.

Name, Age, Class - Position

Main Staff

Charlie, 17, Swordmaster – Innkeeper  
Sonia, 22, Sniper – Shopkeeper  
Lulu, 20, Pegasus Knight – Restaurant owner  
Fae, 18, Mage – Restaurant chef  
Kiyoko, 14, Assassin – Police force  
Brian, 18, Bishop – Priest  
Kate, 19, Bishop – Hot Springs manager

Supplementary Staff

Fureal, 27, Sage– Magic Teacher  
Dias, 24, Swordmaster – PE teacher  
Glenn, 34, Druid – History/English teacher  
George, 27, Myrmidon, Math/Science teacher

Alan, 16, archer – Mountain hiking guide  
Kevin, 20, Druid – Librarian  
Erimus, 29, Assassin – Postal worker

Samantha, 17, Cleric – Priestess  
Lizzie, 25, Civilian – Naturalist  
Hitomi, 15, Swordmaster – Psychologist  
Louisa, 14, Mage – Student  
Max, 14, Mage – Student  
Aminec, 27, Pegasus Knight – Janitor  
Delphi – Aminec's Pegasus  
Lucas – Lulu's Pegasus

OC Staff

Karen, 24, Pegasus Knight – Headmistress of public school  
Kramer, 19, Mercenary – Assistant on the restaurant farm

Relationships:

Name – Name (age): Relationship – (If applicable) Children (age)

Sonia – Lulu – Fae: Sisters  
Dias – Sonia: Couple  
Aminec – Fureal: Periodic dating  
George – Karen: Married – Eliza (5): daughter, Ben (infant): son  
Glenn – Christina (30): Married – Melissa (11): daughter, Glenn Jr. (9): son  
Erimius – Lizzie: Married – Erika (7): daughter  
Charlie – Alan – Kiyoko: The Three Musketeers (Don't ask)  
Louisa – Max: Mage-y twins

Foreign Staff

Aeros, 18, Assassin – Border Patrol  
Nightmare, 19, Swordmaster – Border Patrol  
Lee, 19, Swordmaster – Border Patrol

(Nightmare and Aeros (especially Nightmare), I need some workable names, and I hope you don't mind me setting your ages around 18/19)

Okay, on that note…staffing is absolutely closed. I can't take anymore; it'll get too confusing for me to write and for the readers to keep up. To the people already in staff, I'll try to give each of you guys equal appearance time, but I can't guarantee anything. The teachers and Samantha will appear in this chapter along with the students (That includes you Alan).

Well, enjoy. Sorry if I married you and you didn't want to be married. I didn't really have a choice though. And now I shall end my rambling, because I'm sure all of you are absolutely sick of hearing me talk. On with the fic, and I don't own Fire Emblem (Do I have to say this?).

* * *

Schoolyard Bliss, Temple Demons

Charlie stood behind the counter and cleaned the shot glasses he retrieved from the hot springs. The entire lobby was clean as everyone was next door enjoying a scrumptious meal cooked by Fae. Charlie could hear the young girl get complemented from all the way in the inn. He finished cleaning the shot glasses and decided to go to school. He hadn't been there for a while, and truth be told, even though the feeling of freedom from old man Glenn and his cronies (who all seem to hate Charlie for one thing or another), he missed his escapades with Kiyoko and his archer friend Alan, who happened to be the mountain hiking tour guide.

The innkeeper put the shot glasses back to where he got them from and reached for his trench coat. As he put it on, he noticed Erk and Rebecca walking down the stairs. He watched as the two walked in silence. Charlie stayed out of sight as the two, carrying the cloud of gloom and awkwardness over their heads, walked out the door and headed next door to get their lunch. After the pair was gone, the innkeeper quickly put on his coat and dashed out the door. He ran away from the inn, the restaurant, and the hot springs and he didn't stop running until he was a good way out of the main commercial area of Silent Springs.

Slowing down, Charlie panted a bit and walked the rest of the way to school. He couldn't bring himself to face Erk and Rebecca, feeling that he was responsible for drugging the two with that piece of blasphemy Kate had given him. Charlie shook his head and reminded himself that he didn't do it on purpose and headed towards the school and into the tiny building.

The school was separated into three parts. There was the main lecture hall where, because of the extreme lack of students, everyone got their lessons from the small ones to the pre-graduates like Charlie. Next to Lecture hall, was the entrance hall where you entered the school and stowed your belongings. To the other side of the school, was the cafeteria and a door into the backyard of the school. The backyard was a wide-open field surrounded on all three sides by a fence. On the other side of the fence was a fifty foot drop into running water. The backyard itself was enormous; a wide open field of green during the spring and summer, golden fields of gold during the fall, and a crisp blanket of white during the winter. There were a few bulls-eyes on one side and various sporting equipment here and there.

Charlie entered the school through the entrance hall. He shook off the snow from his coat and pants and hung his trench coat on one of the racks. He took off his boots and slipped into a pair of sandals that he never bothered to take home. He walked into the cafeteria and got in line to get his food.

Glenn was the first person to see Charlie as he walked into the cafeteria. The English teacher immediately strode over to his pupil and yanked him roughly to the side.

"Mr. Charlie…" Glenn growled. "You finally came to school?"

"Well, I was just planning on stopping by for lunch…but sure…why not?" Charlie said freeing himself from the English teacher's grasp.

In addition to English, Glenn also taught History. He was a tall, imposing man, always dressed in dark robes, even during summer time. He has an innate ability to sense when an underage student is ditching class, which is matched by his amazing sensor for Charlie, whom over the years he has grown to rather despise. In spite of Glenn's attempts to fail Charlie back to the third grade, the young swordmaster constantly proves himself during the grade advancement tests, but only because Glenn usually just gives Charlie 'F's just for the hell of it. Glenn was relatively young at only thirty-four years old, but he was THE oldest person in Silent Springs.

Silent Springs, despite its glory, is a perilous place to live. Once a person reaches forty, he or she leaves the paradise city during the winters to live in nearby Ryerde, where they cannot be overtaken by avalanches, however, many people do not leave, and still many others don't make it to forty before dying on the perilous cliffs of Silent Springs. But the residents of the paradise city would never consider leaving permanently.

"Ms. Kiyoko turned your paper this morning." Glenn said referring to his students rather formally. "Needless to say, I find it utterly atrocious."

"So what else is new?" Charlie sighed. He wasn't trying to be insolent, but since he knew Headmistress Karen graded his graduation exams, and that Karen knows about Glenn's tartness towards his students, Charlie didn't really care how much he insulted the old teacher right now.

"It is a history-research paper Charlie!" Glenn growled. "Your report on the scouring is absolutely horrible. Humans didn't initiate the scouring! Dragons did, by existing!"

"…You're just saying that so you can fail me." Charlie said.

"Yes I- I mean, no I'm not!" Glenn said. "I expect this rewritten by tomorrow, or else."

With that Glenn stalked off to torment another unfortunate soul. Charlie sighed and collected his food. He scanned the lunchroom and found Kiyoko sitting at one of the tables. He walked over and sat down.

"Surprise." He said smiling a bit.

"CHAWEE!" Kiyoko squealed and quickly proceeded to squeeze the life out of the poor man. Fortunately for Charlie, his friend Alan was coming back from the restroom, so he quickly saved him from the murderous girls grasp. After catching his breath, Charlie sat down next to the girl who almost killed him and began to stir his food. He and Alan looked at each other and made faces while Kiyoko wolfed down her ketchup and rice. She had a ton of pocky as well.

"Gee…have enough pocky there?" Charlie asked.

"Nope!" Kiyoko squealed in between bites. "Gots more!"

"I was being sarcastic." Charlie said and Kiyoko's face fell. "Aww…"

"So, why'd you come back to school?" Alan asked.

"Well, three reason." Charlie said. "I need to get yelled at by Glenn, George and Dias; I need to get Kiyoko to go to dinner tonight at Fae's so she'll eat some real food before she gets sick again, and thirdly, I need to talk to you about our visitors."

"You mean that crazy telegram Kate sent last night wasn't a joke?" Alan asked. "I thought Katie was just pulling my leg again."

"She does that, but no, it's true." Charlie said. "I was wondering if you have time around midnight tonight. We'll let you in on some of the fun."

"Fun eh? I'm always up for that." Alan said. "Done, where should I meet you?"

"Front of the inn at midnight." Charlie said. "And make sure you aren't followed."

"Geez…" Alan said. "Is this some kind of secret mission that could get you guys killed if word gets out about it?"

"In a sense." Charlie said. "Yes."

Just then, another teacher of Charlie's accosted him. George the Myrmidon was the Math and Science teacher at the school. He also happened to be Headmistress Karen's husband, and the father of soon to be two children. George was, as Charlie so nicely put it, cracked like an egg. The man has an obsession with work. If George was the headmaster instead of his wife, school would become a year round activity for everyone. In short, George was the kind of person who would give dying children homework; needless to say, nobody understood how he managed to get married, or how his five-year-old daughter Eliza survives.

George was right now glaring at Charlie with a murderous expression. Not only did the teacher despise him for never doing the homework, George also resented the fact that Charlie was already a swordmaster yet he never found the time to train enough to class change. Unfortunately for Charlie, it just gave the man all the more reason to hate him.

"So, Charlie…did you do your make assignments?" George asked. "All five hundred and thirty of them?"

"I didn't to them on the due date, what makes you think I would do them now?" Charlie asked.

"It was a rhetorical question." George growled. "I have a new project for you. I need you to rewrite that paper you had on the beginning of life. It was preposterous, suggesting that we might possibly have evolved from monkeys. Everyone knows God and St. Elimine created life."

"But Sir…" Charlie said. "The assignment was to point out a controversial view point."

"I said controversial!" George screamed. "Not physical impossibility! I thought you were going to suggest that St. Elimine was the reincarnation of a Goddess!"

"Right…" Charlie said. "So when's this paper due?"

"Tomorrow." George said.

"Typical…" Charlie muttered and with one final glare, the math and science teacher left the man to himself.

"Wow, you're screwed." Alan said patting his friend on the back.

"But how did you get the monkey theory?" Kiyoko asked.

"Meh, I was digging through he restricted sections of the library. It's an obscure theory, thought I might use it just to actually turn something into him." Charlie said. Just then, he saw another teacher head towards him. "Ahh crap…Dias is about to join the party."

Dias was the Physical Education teacher. He was a swordmaster like Charlie, but he resented the younger man who was superior in skill. Charlie, along with Kiyoko, Kate, Sonia, Fae, Brian, and Lulu, all have had military training one summer at a top notch military base in Ryerde. The seven were selected out of school five years ago for the special training because the previous military trained people in Silent Springs were all nearing forty. Because of this, the seven were superior fighters than anyone else in the town.

Because of this, Charlie was a better swordfighter than his Phys Ed. teacher, and because of that, Dias tended to give the young man hell in class.

"So, you finally showed your face eh?" Dias said coming up to Charlie. "What's the occasion oh Great One?"

Charlie sighed. "Sir, can we drop it? I just wanted to get some assignments and have lunch."

"Well, can I expect you in class?" Dias asked. "Today is a good day to spar."

Charlie groaned. "No, I have to go back to work."

Dias shook his head. "Typical of the great ditcher. Well, if you aren't man enough, I guess I won't push you."

The older swordmaster than walked back to the faculty table. From the table, Karen, whose belly is rather huge right now, looked over at Charlie and gave him an apologetic look. The headmistress was a pretty lady of twenty-four years old. She had long brown hair that went to her waist and matching brown eyes. She graduated from school at the mere age of twelve and taught advanced mathematics, science and English for five years before taking over as the headmistress. She was seemingly the only faculty member in the school who didn't hate him, other than the janitor, Aminec, and the magic teacher Fureal, but the Charlie didn't have Fureal and he didn't hang around school enough to give Aminec too much crap to clean up.

"Dude…" Alan said after Dias left. "How does it work that you're hated by every single teacher EXCEPT for Karen? I mean, Glenn and the others praise my work to high heaven and Karen still hates me."

"Well, maybe because you actually do all the bitch-work Alan." Charlie said. "But then you don't spend enough time studying for exams that don't test how long you can stay awake at night and do busywork but actual. Plus Karen's my third cousin's half sister thrice removed."

"Your WHAT!" Alan asked.

"Okay, let's just leave it at that she's a distant relative." Charlie said. "And besides, she knows that I have to take over the inn ever since mom and dad died."

"Oh yeah…" Alan said remembering.

The funny thing about Charlie, Kiyoko, Kate, the three sisters and Brian is that their parents are all dead. Three years ago a huge avalanche destroyed half of the residential area, killing over seventeen people, including the seven's parents. It was quite the tragedy, but ever since the event, the seven orphaned children matured more than they ever had, except for Kiyoko who's still hyperactive.

"Now if you'll excuse me." Charlie said. "I gotta get back to the inn. The visitors must be done with their meals now. I'll see you two later. Remember, midnight tonight Alan. And you're coming by to do homework in the inn again right Kiyo."

"Yep!" The girl squealed as she gobbled down pocky. "Do you want me to bring you your assignments?"

"Why bother?" Charlie said as he threw away his half eaten ketchup and rice. "I'll be seeing you then. I'll have pocky out so you don't have to raid Sonia for it okay." And then, Charlie headed out the lunchroom.

"Dude.." Alan said. "By the end of the year, I doubt even Karen can save him from his teacher's wrath."

Kiyoko just shrugged and continued eating her pocky. "Well… as long as he still has pocky to give, then I'm happy."

"You just love him for his pocky don't you?" Alan asked.

"I love everyone! …For their pocky. He's just the only who has free pocky." Kiyoko squealed. Alan smacked his forehead, ever glad that he didn't live next door to his eccentric friend.

When Erk and Rebecca walked into the restaurant while everyone else was half-way through with their meals, the noise level immediately died down as the entire room, including Lulu behind the counter and Fae from the kitchen window, turned to stare at the two. Erk and Rebecca turned fifty shades of red as they walked past the tables of whispering people towards Lulu.

"Hey…are we too late?" Erk asked Lulu.

"Nah…" Lulu said. "We don't have a set schedule. Lemme show you to your table."

Lulu took some menus and lead Erk and Rebecca to a small candlelit table in the corner away from the main crowd. On the way there, Erk could've sworn he saw Jessica wink at the restaurant manager, but he was too tired to care. Rebecca was dismayed at the table. The candlelit setting in the corner of the restaurant made her and Erk look, if anything else, like a young couple on a date. She felt her face turned red as the entire restaurant seemingly turned to stare at the two. Lulu gave her an apologetic look and softly promised Rebecca that she would draw everyone else's attention away from her. Rebecca relaxed a little and she and Erk ordered their meals.

Lulu took the orders and walked calmly back towards the kitchen. Along the way, she gave Jessica a small thumbs up gesture and the tactician smiled. Then Lulu handed the order to Fae who got to work.

In the restaurant, the staring died down, but people were still whispering. The news of Erk and Rebecca's little escapade in the hot springs first got out when Farina of the Pegasus Sisters saw the couple get carried out of the springs only partially dressed. The two were sweaty with disheveled hair, two signs that screamed at Farina that something naughty happened inside the springs. Then living up her insensitive nature, Farina proceeded to blab to everyone who had ears. Naturally by lunchtime, everyone in the army had heard some version of Erk and Rebecca's adventures.

At Wil, Louise and Rath's table, the three discussed the fate of their friend furiously. Louise was feigning since she obviously knew what happened between Rebecca and Erk was a trap, but Wil and Rath ran many different theories of how it could've happened. Louise had to force herself to stay calm during some of the suggestions.

"She got drunk!" Wil said. "Mistook Erk from some hot guy and decided to have her way with him!"

"Uhh…no." Rath said. "Rebecca doesn't GET drunk. I say she was raped by that Erk."

"Nah, it looked like it was consensual, otherwise we would've heard her scream to high heaven." Wil said. "Besides, if Erk did try to rape Rebecca, he would be asking for an early grave."

"Okay, but she didn't get drunk." Rath said. "Maybe she finally opened up to Erk?"

"Nah…" Wil said. "We archers don't consort with mages. Or maybe, that that's not Rebecca, but an evil demon possessing her body. That evil demon is making Rebecca like Erk to ruin our reputations."

Louise had no choice but to shake her head and laugh along. The conversation at the mage table was if possible, even more intense. Canas, Lucius and Pent were discussing what could've happened, while Serra, Priscilla and Nino contemplated ways of killing Rebecca.

"You could've seen that one coming." Canas said. "I mean seriously… the two fought more than a married couple does."

"True." Pent said. "But they look cute together."

"Yeah, and it's almost expected with those two that they would lose it." Lucius said. "St. Elimine knows that they've held it in too long."

The three men nodded in agreement and drank to the health of their friend Erk. Meanwhile, Serra was suggesting one of the most twisted murder plots of the century.

"Okay, we move in from the ventilation system, take Rebecca while she's cozy in the arms of that two timer, take her outside, tie a mine to her with a thirty second fuse and then throw her off the mountain after lighting the fuse so she blows up right when she hits the ground. Then we go down and feed her remains to the lions and then we kill the lions and toss their remains into a boiling pot of acid. Then we take the acid and blow THAT up with some mines, then we take whatever's left and toss it into the ocean." Serra said in one breath.

Priscilla and Nino stared at her. "Umm…" Nino said. "How about we just stat her?"

"Or burn her or something..." Priscilla added. "Your plan is way to complicated and expensive to be useful."

"Ahh fine." Serra said. "How about we take her whe-"

"NO!" Nino said. "Lets just jump her with these plastic knives when she walks out."

"That sounds better…" Priscilla agreed, nudging Serra before the cleric grudgingly agreed to the less complicated, but probably equally ineffective plan.

As the noon hour passed, many of the people finished up their meals and headed out, going back to the inn for a rest before hitting the hot springs. Serra, Priscilla and Nino however, grabbed plastic knives and hid outside the restaurant, waiting for their pray. Nino took periodic peeks too see if Rebecca was coming.

As the people began to file out, Jessica stopped two assassins on their way out.

"Jaffar, Matthew." Jessica said beckoning the two to come closer. "Mind doing me a favor?"

The two assassins shrugged and nodded. "Sure." Matthew said. "What is it?"

"Well, the priest has some cold medicine for us in the church. You two mind picking it up for me this afternoon? There's a lot so I need both of you to go." Jessica said. "That okay with you guys?"

"Meh…" Jaffar shrugged.

"It's fine." Matthew said.

Jessica nodded and the two assassins walked away. Matthew was staring daggers at Jaffar the entire way out.

As Matthew walked out of the restaurant, he noticed the three girls hiding in the bushes. He glanced at them with a puzzled look.

"What in the devil are you guys doing?" He asked.

"Shh…" Serra hissed. "Don't give us away! We're trying to kill Rebecca."

Matthew was about to ask why, but then he remembered the girl's infatuation with the moody Sage and kept his mouth shut. He walked on, whistling innocently, telling himself that he didn't see anything, and nothing will happen.

Presently, Nino peaked inside and saw that Rebecca and Erk were getting up from their table and walking towards the door. She squealed lightly and told her comrades to get ready. The three girls tensed, plastic knives in their hands, and got ready to pounce.

Before Erk and Rebecca got to the door though, Jessica stopped them. She motioned them to go to her table. The two really wanted to get out and perhaps away from each other to clear their heads, but the tactician was the goddess in the army and they respected her…most of the time.

"You two okay?" Jessica asked as the two approached her.

"Yea…we're okay." The two said in unison after a long pause.

"You sure?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah…" Rebecca said again. "We just need some time to clear our heads."

"We'll be fine in a few days." Erk said.

"Okay…" Jessica said. She smiled inwardly. The two were starting to speak for each other. It was a good sign. Erk and Rebecca thanked Jessica and turned to go. They followed Karel and Kent to the door. Erk and Rebecca hung back as they waited for the two men to leave.

Then suddenly, the bushes outside of the restaurant came alive with screeching as three figures jumped out and attacked Karel and Kent with plastic looking knives.

"DEAR ST. ELIMINE!" Kent screamed as a plastic knife smashed into his thick coat and snapped uselessly. He ducked as another headed for his head. Quickly he looked over to Karel who was also being attacked. The swordmaster and paladin's reflexes soon kicked in and the two immediately grabbed the wrists of their attackers. Within moments, a trio of confused girls were in the vice grip of Kent and Karel.

Serra and Nino gulped as Kent glared at them.

"What in Elimine's holy name are you two trying to do?" Kent asked. "What'd I do to you?"

"Uh…umm…" Serra stuttered.

"You're…wearing…red?" Nino attempted.

"…I wear red almost every day." Kent said.

"Fine…we were trying to go for…ummm…Rebecca…but... you…uhh…" Serra trailed off.

"I see…" Kent said. He flashed a smile to the now beet red Rebecca. "Looks like you've got competition.

Rebecca's blush worsened and she bolted from the scene and ran into the inn. Erk stood there, his face red as well. Soon, the shock wore off, and Erk slowly moved away from the front of the Restaurant and headed towards Sonia's shop.

Serra and Nino apologized to Kent and picked the paladin from the floor. They brushed the snow off their clothes and turned to look for their friend.

Priscilla wasn't so lucky. She attacked Karel, who was now pinning her down by the wrists and her neck. He looked intensely into her eyes with his two murderous dark pools.

"Uhh…so-sorry…" Priscilla gasped. Karel continued to glare at her with his murderous eyes.

"I'll kill you." Karel said softly. "Eventually…I'll kill you. But not now… later."

Karel then released Priscilla and walked off, leaving Kent and the girls to comfort the stunned troubadour.

At the school, Kiyoko stared out the window as she listened to Glenn drone on about the Lycian Civil War that happened nearly two hundred years ago. She was bored beyond bored as she had no interest in history whatsoever, and because Glenn's droning was just that soporific. Kiyoko glanced around at the students present.

Next to here was an empty seat that Charlie used to sit in when he still went to school. Even though Charlie technically stopped coming, nobody wanted to fill that seat yet. On Kiyoko's other side sat Alan. He was an archer. Kiyoko smiled. Even though she and Charlie hated archers, Alan was still their friend. The trio of Charlie, Kiyoko and Alan was commonly called The Three Musketeers. Kiyoko rather liked that name and it sorta stuck.

Behind her sat two mages, Louisa and Max, both fourteen. The two were commonly seen together practicing various spells, usually using one of the Musketeers as target. The two were known as the Mage-y Twins even though they weren't real twins. If there was any rivalry in the school, it was between The Three Musketeers and the Mage-y Twins.

In one corner sat a mysterious young girl named Hitomi. She was, to be blunt, a gender confused girl. She dressed like a guy, looked like a guy and sometimes even acted like a guy. She was silent, shy, and a tomboy. She had absolutely no idea how to talk to boys except for the perverted ones. Hitomi's infamous for being overly violent to perverted boys.

Spread around the rest of the room were: Melissa, Glenn Jr., Eliza and Erika. They were relatively young and kept to themselves, mainly so they wouldn't be killed in the crossfire of the Musketeer-Mage feud.

Kiyoko sighed as she faced forward and continued to half sleep with her eyes open. Suddenly, George burst into the room.

"KAREN'S GOING INTO LABOR!" He screamed and he ran back out towards his wife's office. The entire class erupted into chaos and any attempt Glenn had at containing them ended in utter failure. Soon, everyone was crowded around Karen. They were all anxious to see if it was a boy or girl.

Outside the headmistress' office, the janitor, a twenty seven year old woman named Aminec was half yelling instructions to Karen and half keeping the kids outside. She scanned the room and found Kiyoko. Pointing towards the door, she told the young girl to go get Brian.

In a flash, Kiyoko was out the door and headed towards the temple across the street.

Brian was with his assistant, a young seventeen-year-old girl named Samantha. Samantha was like Charlie; she seldom went to school anymore during her last year of school. She was a quiet girl and very pretty in her white robes.

Brian stared at Kiyoko when she burst into the temple panting.

"Whoa…what's wrong Kiyo?" He asked.

"Karen…labor…come…hurry…" Kiyoko gasped. Brian put the pieces together and nodded his head. He quickly grabbed a few bottles of medication from his cabinet and ran out the door with Kiyoko.

"Watch the temple!" He yelled back to Samantha.

Samantha panicked. She was a peculiar girl, having been possessed by a rather evil demon during her youth. That demon lies dormant when she's with company, but alone, Samantha had no control over it. Samantha hoped that the demon would stay calm until Brian came back.

Matthew and Jaffar walked in silence towards the church. The air of malice between the two men hung as they trudged through the slow covered landscape. Matthew had never forgiven Jaffar for killing Leila, and Jaffar, well…he was a man without much of a soul, so he didn't exactly know what to do for Matthew.

As they entered the temple, both men noticed that the place was rather empty.

"Hello!" Matthew called out. "Father Brian? We're here to pick up the cold medicine! Hello?"

"He's not here." Jaffar said.

Matthew waited a bit and sighed. "Yeah…your right, lets wait."

The two sat down and waited. After a while, Matthew heard some sounds coming from a side door.

"Eh? What's that?" Matthew asked pointing to the door.

"I sense something evil there." Jaffar said. "Leave it alone."

"No." Matthew said. "We should check it out. If it is evil, then it's our job to kill it."

"…Whatever…" Jaffar said.

Matthew grabbed his killing edges that he had retrieved earlier from the inn. He walked towards the door. When he got to it, he pressed his ear to the door. He heard an interesting conversation between a young girl and a rather demented voice.

"Now is the time!" The demon voice said.

"But…I don't wanna." The girl said softly.

"NO! We must strike now! While they are preoccupied! THEN THE WORLD SHALL BE OURS!"

"But…I don't want to rule the world."

"Oh shut up. We shall kill them! Kill them ALL!"

"But I'm a pacifist…"

"I said shut up fool! The universe shall be ours! We shall rip off their heads and feast on their remains!"

"But I'm a vegetarian!"

"I said shut up!"

Matthew got very excited listening to the exchange. His killing edge accidentally knocked against the door.

"Who's that? Blast!" The demonic voice said. "Whatever, we must…eliminate…him."

Matthew backed away as the door opened and a young girl stepped out.

"Eh? Where's that demon?" Matthew asked. The minute his words left, the girl's eyes glowed red and fangs protruded from her mouth.

"I am the demon!" The girl hissed in the demonic voice. "You shall now taste OBLIVION!"

The demon raised a staff and unleashed the many spirits of the dead. Matthew's eyes widened and he ran back towards Jaffar, past Jaffar.

"Dude!" Matthew yelled. "Get outta here!"

"Meh…" Jaffar said and he unsheathed his daggers and swiped at the soldiers of the dead.

The spirits met his blade and dissipated. The demon girl stepped forward.

"Interesting." She hissed. "Very impressive, but can you handle this!"

The girl turned around and produced a small cube.

"The heck is that?" Matthew asked.

"Oh, this is a weapon that is too horrible to behold! MUAHAHAHAA!" The girl hissed and she pressed the cube. The cube began glowing and it suddenly projected an image onto one of the walls. Matthew looked at the image.

"Final…Fantasy…The…Spirits…Within…" He read. "What's that?"

"Oh…keep watching." The girl hissed as she smiled. "You shall see.."

Twenty minutes later, both Matthew and Jaffar were curled into fetal positions and sucking their thumbs.

"MAKE IT STOP!" Matthew screamed. "NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE!"

"It's…horrible." Jaffar said softly.

The girl laughed maniacally as she took out her staff again. "NOW YOU SHALL DIE!"

Matthew and Jaffar waited for the soldiers of the dead to drain their souls, but it never came. Instead, a chilling wind blew through the church, causing the girl to crumple to her feet. The cube projecting the horribly plotted out images blew apart. Standing at the door, Brian had his wand out and was chanting an incantation. It was the last thing Matthew and Jaffar saw before passing out.

A while later, Matthew and Jaffar woke one after another on a soft bed. A kindly priest and a pretty young girl were standing at their side.

"You guys okay?" Brian asked.

Matthew tapped his head. "I'm fine."

Jaffar simply nodded.

"Sorry about that." Brian said. "I got a call next door for a baby delivery. Sammy here…well…she has her episodes. But she's a really nice person if you get to know her."

"Matthew looked at the girl Brian pointed to. Samantha turned red and looked away. Matthew noted that she looked much prettier than her fanged self. She had a calm aura and was very shy about looking at Matthew.

"Ehh, it's okay." Matthew said. "You didn't mean it."

Sammy blushed even more and nodded.

"So, what did you two want?" Brian asked.

"Well, Jessica said you had cold medicine for us?" Matthew said.

"Ahh, yes." Brian said. He reached into a shelf and pulled out a lumpy bag. "One of these before meals for two days should clear up your colds and keep them from coming back."

"Thanks Father." Matthew said. He and Jaffar then got up and bid the priest farewell.

The two walked for a long time in silence before Matthew finally noticed something.

"Funny…she said this was a two man job…this bag here isn't that big." Matthew wondered out loud.

"Maybe she knew about the demon?" Jaffar suggested.

"Or she knows about your pill popping problem." Matthew said.

"Hey, I do not 'pop pills.'" Jaffar said.

"Sure." Matthew said. "So tell me why you're so messed up if you don't pop pills."

"I don't…" Jaffar said. "It's complicated okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"I can keep a secret." Matthew said.

"Just…drop it." Jaffar said. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay…" Matthew said. But for the first time, Matthew noticed that Jaffar was a real human being, and for the first time, Matthew realized that Jaffar must've had his share of hardships. He walked back towards the inn with Jaffar, but the cloud of malice was gone.

Kiyoko walked into the "business" sector of Silent Springs with a happy feeling. Karen gave birth to a health baby boy. She and George named him Ben. It was such a happy occasion that Karen dismissed class early. The entire school had cheered and they all gave Karen and George their wishes. George in turn gave them homework before being smacked silly by his wife, who was still resting in a makeshift bed.

Soon, George helped his wife home, and Glenn and the other teachers saw the students home. Kiyoko headed towards the inn where she spent all her afternoons, doing homework, watching out for any signs of trouble, and eating pocky. She also secretly stole little doses of Charlie's liquor, but never enough to get drunk and caught by the perverted innkeeper. Kiyoko smiled inwardly. She knew Charlie wasn't really perverted, but it was still fun to tease him.

Kiyoko walked into the inn. The lobby was mostly empty except for a druid, a sage and a sniper drinking cocktails around a table playing cards. Kiyoko recognized them as Canas, Pent and Louise. She waved at them and headed to her usual space at the bar.

"Hey, you're early." Charlie said looking up from his cups.

"Yeah, Karen gave birth today!" Kiyoko announced happily. "A baby boy named Ben!"

"Wow! Congrats to her and George then." Charlie said. "Too bad I missed it."

"Yeah, well that's what you get for ditching class." Kiyoko said.

"Yeah… well anyways, get to your homework. I gotta clean dishes." Charlie said gesturing to a pile of dirty dishes that Lulu brought over for him to clean.

"Okays." Kiyoko said spreading her books out. "Pocky?"

Charlie smiled and handed her a box of pocky. "Here."

"YAY!" Kiyoko squealed and she opened the box and began eating.

"One thing before you start Kiyo." Charlie said.

"Yeah?" Kiyoko asked.

"Give me back my wallet."

* * *

Charlie: …oh dear god that was long. I know it was a lot of character introducing, but we gotta get everyone in. I'll introduce the rest of you on day two. Don't worry; you'll get your share of character torturing, I promise. Well, thanks to everyone who's left reviews and comments, I hope you guys continue to read and review. Thanks! **_Reviewer's Corner n.n_**

Nightmare3: Well, I made three exceptions since I have a gag that would require outside OCs. Might as well give those jobs to you and the other two who applied late. But I really need another name for your character. Heh, I find myself to think better when my brain's not too overly analytical. Anyways, KarlaxRaven and KarelxPriscilla will definitely be fun to do. We'll just have to wait and see.

Random Person: Yes, Glenn is the cranky English teacher! And Glenn doesn't like me because well…I don't go to school and I don't do my homework! YAY! Hehe, Glenn will be fun to have around.

Samantha: Well…you did say evil demon right? What's more evil than forcing your victims to watch Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. (If anyone hasn't watched that movie…it doesn't do Final Fantasy justice…). You'll have more spotlights soon enough as Brian continually ditches you to try to mend a bone or something. It should turn out quite funny.

RWT: Sain and Lyn…well, not quite but I am going to have grudge matches between the two. We're not quite at the Funeral yet. Anyways, Lee's gonna be the border guard that shows up later for another interesting turn of events. He'll have two buddies.

Mierin Eronaile: Bartre/Lucius would indeed turn out quite interesting. Anyways, your parents aren't gonna be mentioned much since the faculty is still very young to have a fourteen year old, but I need you in school so yar. You and Max have your own little cult.

Dias: Who doesn't feel sorry for Sain? Anyways, you get to go out with Sonia (Who is based off my real life cousin). If you really want to know, yes, she is very pretty (or so people tell me). Anyways, torture Heath? Of course you can, maybe even Sain as well.

Inferno-Hero: Yep, you get to go to school. You and Louisa get your own little cult! Yay!

Springleburt: Eh, sure, your call. But be warned, as one of Kiyoko's friends, expect to be abused, especially since Kiyoko rather dislikes archers. Anyways, yeah, we got the little corny title of "The Three Musketeers." Now we must take down those blasted mages! THEN THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHA! …ahem…heh, sorry, anyways, Erk and Rebecca are gonna be brain fried for a while, so I'll torture someone else for now, but we'll get back to them.

Aeros Fujita: Heh, the pairings are all random, so basically…no in game pairings got lucky enough to be chosen. Anyways, you can be a border guard with Lee and Nightmare. You guys show up three of the fourteen days, but then the days where you guys show up are going to be quite eventful.

Angel of Fate1: Hehe, I thought you'd like the randomness of the pairings. Anyways, you're the psychologist. You'll get a bigger part as the days go on and the nerves get fried down. AND you will become girlyier, I promise you that sis!

Lao Who Mai: Heh, don't worry, I won't do too many more of those, and the rest of the sex scenes I do won't be as explicit. Anyways, Lizzie is gonna be a bit older and married to the postal guy Erimus.

Kiyoko-Chan: Heh, it seems that not only do my pants belong to you, but so does my wallet. (…that sounded wrong…but you know what I mean.) Heh, you're just three years younger than the rest of the main staff, plus we all love you lots n.n. Anyways, the rating is fine…the last chapter wasn't anything we haven't all seen in a PG-13 movie. And I didn't torture Matthew that bad did I? …Wait…am I supposed to be dead now?

KevinC: Yes, not your average library. You'll see when I do the library gags. Viagra and alcohol is indeed a dangerous combination. But Rebecca and Erk are just warm ups. Hector and Vaida will get REALLY interesting, (hint, Katie's involved…so you KNOW it's gonna be crazy). Heh, and Lucius and Sain are in for a nasty treat.

DragonLady626: Heh, Jessica doesn't really trust anybody right now. And as you can see, everyone is gonna feel her evil creative juices. Anyways, I'm glad you like this. I hope this fic will continue to amuse you and everyone else. After all, that's what I'm here for.

Wow, that took a while to do. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I love you all. In fact, here's a user appreciation gift:

_**I APPRECIATE YOU!**_

n.n Wasn't that grand? Anyways, I'll try to update regularly, at least a chapter or two per week, so hopefully this'll go pretty fast, but we'll have plenty of chapters as you can see how long day one is taking. I guess I'll be with you for a while. Anyways, enjoy and stay safe everyone.


	5. Mission Impossible

Charlie: 'ello. Not much to say here… umm, I managed to introduce a lot of the staff last chapter so you'll see more of the FE people in this one. It's still the afternoon of the first day, so we've got quite a ways to go. And…oh yeah…Samantha…I REALLY hope you don't hate Matthew…because I got a funny gag that involves you two…that blows up into something big. It won't happen for a while…but I lay the foundation for it in this chappy, so…sorry!

Anyways, I don't own FE… and yeah…that's about it. (Heh, I promised you a shorter A/N)

* * *

Mission Impossible

Matthew and Jaffar neared the main part of town with the bag of medicine. Both men were more than a little shaken up as they walked away in silence. Matthew looked to the man next to him, the one he had sworn to kill. But after what happened, he didn't exactly feel up to committing cold-blooded murder anymore. He decided to try to be a little friendlier.

"So…" Matthew said trying to begin a conversation. "That priestess girl…she's pretty cute."

Jaffar looked over at Matthew with a raised eyebrow. "Which part? The glowing eyes or the fangs?"

Matthew glared at him. "Hey, come on." He said. "Without the glowing eyes and those nasty fangs, she's very pretty."

"Unfortunately…" Jaffar noted. "WITH the glowing eyes and the fangs, she tried to kill us."

"Man…you make everything sound so hopeless." Matthew said.

"Well, I'm not the one always falling for girls with personality defects." Jaffar said.

"What? I don't do that!" Matthew said.

"Well, lesse…there was Leila, she's was dead." Jaffar said.

"Umm, I don't think being dead counts as a personality defect." Matthew said.

"Well, you sure as hell can't love a dead person…unless we're going there." Jaffar said.

"Point taken, but that was WHOSE fault again?" Matthew said scowling.

"Ephidel." Jaffar said calmly. "Now, next we have Serra…which is just self-explanatory."

"Hey!" Matthew pleaded. "I did NOT fall for Serra."

"Sure you didn't…" Jaffar said. "I've seen how close you two work together."

"That's because Hector forces her on me." Matthew said.

"Whatever." Jaffar rolled his eyes. "And now, we have demon girl. If THAT'S not a personality defect, I don't know what is."

"That is so rich coming from you Jaffar." Matthew muttered.

"…Touche…" Jaffar said. "Still, I wouldn't get involved with her if I were you."

"Yeah yeah…" Matthew said. "But she is pretty without her…demon features."

"…That she is…" Jaffar agreed.

Their talk brought the two assassins all the way to the inn. They walked in and found Jessica reading in one of the chairs in the lobby. They walked over and handed her the bag of medicine. Jessica thanked the two and watched as the assassins went about their business. She noted with pleasure that the air of animosity between the two had dissipated. Then she turned her attention back to her book, but not without keeping half an ear tuned into an interesting meeting going on a chairs over.

"The first meeting of the 'Death to Rebecca' strike team is called to ordered." A voice Jessica recognized as Serra's spoke out. "First item on the agenda, roll call, Priscilla."

"Present." Priscilla said.

"Good." Serra continued. "Nino."

"Here!" Nino chirped.

"Okay, that's that." Serra said. "Now, onto the REAL business. We've already had one failure of a plan go down the drain. Not that I'm blaming anyone…" Serra stole a glance towards Nino. "But I think it would be better to let me do the thinking from now on."

"Oh yeah…I feel so much safer now." Priscilla muttered, but Serra didn't hear her.

"Okay." Serra said again. "Fortunately, yours truly has come up with the most ingenious plan of the century! This will guarantee the death of that dirty Rebecca."

"What does it involve?" Priscilla asked.

"I call it… Operation Bloody Mary." Serra said.

"…Why's that?" Nino asked.

"And you still didn't answer my question." Priscilla said.

"I call it Operation Bloody Mary because I wanted to." Serra answered. "And I'm getting to the actual plan."

"Well…" Priscilla said. "WHAT is the plan?"

"It's real simple." Serra said. "Rebecca's in the store right now, so we ambush her there and drown her in tomato sauce."

"…That's…your plan?" Priscilla asked. "I don't think it'll work that well."

"NO!" Serra insisted. "It's PERFECT! She'll never expect to be drowned in tomato sauce."

"And where do we GET the tomato sauce?" Nino asked.

"It's a freaking all in one store, I'm pretty sure we can find enough tomatoes to make sauce." Serra said.

"And HOW exactly do we drown her?" Priscilla asked.

"Do I have to tell you everything!" Serra said exasperated. "After we ambush her, we just hold her head inside a bucket of tomato sauce and wait for the bubbles to stop coming up."

"…Yano…" Priscilla said. "It seems a whole lot faster to just stab her."

"Right." Serra said. "And if you miss and hit Karel again?"

Priscilla immediately shuddered and shied away after the mention of Karel's name. Serra smiled evilly and went back to her plan.

"So, if there are no more questions from the peanut gallery." She said referring to Priscilla. "Lets go get ready!"

"Okay!" Nino said happily. Across the room, Jessica fought a savage war with herself to keep herself from laughing.

'I can't miss this…' Jessica thought to herself as she waited patiently for the three plotters to leave before slowly and silently following them out.

The store in Silent Springs was an all in one shopping center, grocery store and armory. If there was something you needed, you could get it there. During the summers, Sonia hired the any local kids who wanted summer jobs to help out, but since nobody really went there during the winter for anything other than food, Sonia didn't bother having a permanently hired staff.

Rebecca was lounging around the first floor and looking at the exotic spices Sonia had in her store. There were only a few people other than her in the store, everyone else was either sleeping or in the hot springs. Rebecca ignored everyone else, knowing that she would be asked some pretty awkward questions if they ever got to her. As she browsed around, Rebecca noted three female figures entering the store. The sniper groaned, it was, as Jessica called them, the "Erky-Poo Fanclub." Silently, Rebecca asked the Gods why she had to almost have sex with one of the most popular guys in the army.

Serra, Priscilla and Nino noticed Rebecca skulking around in the spice section and smiled as they noticed how isolated their target was. Serra signaled to her cohorts and the three girls set out. Nino kept an eye out for anybody that could possibly get in their way while Priscilla gathered tomatoes and Serra crushed them into a bucket. Within half an hour, the task was done. Nino reported back with a sense of relief.

"Coast is clear." Nino said. "Only people in here are Raven, Karla and Karel, and they're all on the second floor looking at swords."

Priscilla tensed a little at the mention of both Karel and her brother, two people known infamously in the army for their extreme willingness to resort to violence to settle disputes. She hoped that their plan wouldn't go haywire.

Serra crushed the last of the tomatoes into the bucket, now filled to the brim with a sticky red liquid substance made from crushed tomatoes. The girls hauled the bucket near the spice section and got ready their plan.

Rebecca didn't know what the Erky-Poo fan club was up to, but she knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. She decided that she should get out before they attack her with real weapons this time. But as soon as she walked out of the isle, three weights suddenly smashed into her.

When Rebecca reoriented herself, Her arms were in the grasp of Serra, Priscilla and Nino, who were grinning triumphantly while they pushed Rebecca towards the bucket of tomato juice/sauce.

"Wha…what are you three doing?" Rebecca asked.

"Why, I thought you would know by now." Serra said sweetly. "We're here to kill you for stealing Erky away from us."

"What? I never stole Erk." Rebecca complained. "Stupid Kate got me drunk, if there's anyone you should kill, go kill her."

"Oh, now you're blaming it on others." Priscilla said. "Typical of the home wrecker."

"What!" Rebecca cried indignantly. "How can I be a home wrecker? You guys aren't married to Erk!"

"But we saw him first!" Serra said. "Except for Nino, but she's younger than you are!"

"…And that matters…why?" Rebecca asked. "You guys are all insane."

"Enough talk." Serra sneered. "You will die now!" With that, the three scorned girls dragged poor Rebecca to a bucket of red liquid.

"The hell is this?" Rebecca asked.

"A bucket of crushed tomatoes!" Serra said triumphantly. "We shall drown you in this!"

"…You're kidding right?" Rebecca asked. "This is pitiful."

"Is it?" Serra asked. "Or is it so ingenious, that only a person of my intellect can grasp it?"

"No, it's just pitiful." Rebecca said. "You guys forgot to restrain my legs." With that, the sniper swung a foot out and kicked the bucket over, spilling tomato gunk all over the floor.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Serra shrieked. "THIRTY MINUTES OF PLANNING ALL RUINED!"

"Pity…" Rebecca said as she freed herself from the girls who were now frantically trying to contain the spill. "I'll be seeing you."

Rebecca then turned and walked out of the store. On her way out, she silently directed Sonia towards the spill. The shopkeeper was not happy.

"THE HELL!" Sonia screeched. "YOU THREE!"

Serra, Priscilla and Nino looked at each other. "Us?"

"Is there anyone else here?" Sonia asked sarcastically. "You're gonna clean this up. And if you try to leave before doing so…" The shopkeeper put a hand to an iron bow slung on her back. "I'mma…gonna shoot you."

With that, Sonia left leaving the three unfortunate plotters to clean the mess with a couple of rags.

"Wow…that worked well." Priscilla muttered as she wiped up some of the tomato's juices and wringed the towel over the bucket.

"A mere miscalculation." Serra said. "But I have been working on my next plan."

"Oh great…another way to get us in trouble?" Priscilla asked.

"No, this time it will work." Serra said. "It's called Operation-"

"Forget the name Serra, just tell us what it does." Priscilla sighed.

"Okay, fine. We write her a letter from Erk to meet him near the cliff. When she shows up, we throw rocks at her until she falls off!" Serra explained.

"…Won't it be easier to just PUSH her off?" Nino asked.

"No, in the event that she actually survive the fall, she can't pin it on us." Serra said.

"Wow…who's gonna survive a five hundred feet fall onto hard rock?" Priscilla asked sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm thinking ahead okay?" Serra said.

"Whatever…" Priscilla said throwing her towel into the tomato gunk again, making quite a splash. "Lets just get this cleaned up first."

Then she noticed a shoe in front of her towel. Priscilla looked up and saw Karel frowning at her. His robe was covered in red tomato gunk from the towel Priscilla threw onto the ground. Behind him stood a startled Karla who had nearly bumped into her brother when he suddenly stopped. Raven was skulking about behind Karla, looking concerned.

"Oh…hi…" Priscilla squeaked. "Sorry…about…your robe."

Priscilla then noticed the new sword Karel was holding. "This robe…it takes many days to clean." Karel said drawing his sword. "But I will not mind if your blood accompanies it to the cleaning creek.

Serra and Nino immediately got up and surrounded Priscilla defensively while Karla and Raven held Karel back.

"No stop!" Raven said in a surge of brotherly protectiveness for his sister. "It was an accident. I'll clean your robe for you. You don't need to kill her."

"She tried to kill me." Karel said calmly, struggling to remove his sword arm from Karla and Raven's grasp. "With that plastic knife earlier."

"It was an accident." Serra said. "She wasn't trying to kill you."

"Lies." Karel said. "But seeing how my sister so adamantly refuses to let go of my arm, I shall spare your life…"

Priscilla sighed as Karel sheathed his sword and walked off, Karla trailing behind him..

"But…I would watch my neck if I were you." Karel threw over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

Priscilla relaxed as the man walked out. Raven went over to help her up.

"You okay?" He asked.

Priscilla nodded. "Yeah…thanks."

Raven gave a curt nod before heading out the store too. Serra and Nino stayed silent as they and Priscilla finished cleaning up the mess and left the store for the inn to work on their second plot. Behind them, a snickering Jessica followed along casually, hiding her gleeful face behind a book.

Once inside the inn, the three plotters walked over to the bar where Charlie and Kiyoko had their books spread out and were doing homework. Casually, Serra asked them where Erk and Rebecca were.

"Umm, I saw Rebecca go up to her room earlier." Charlie said.

"I think Erk's with Lucius, Canas and Pent at the hot springs." Kiyoko said. "I saw them go in on my way here. Haven't seen them since."

Priscilla politely thanked the two and the three conspirators went over to the nearest table. They didn't notice the ever-present tactician sitting down two tables over.

"Okay…" Serra said. "We don't know how long Erky's gonna stay in the springs, so we better be quick."

"We can slip it under the door for Rebecca." Nino said.

Priscilla just nodded her agreement, still a bit tongue tied after her little encounter with Karel.

The girls took out some paper and a pen that were present around the lobby of the inn. They began to write.

"Dear Rebecca." Serra started. "I…have something important to tell you."

"Please meet me behind the inn near the cliff." Nino continued.

"Come alone." Priscilla finished.

"Love Erk." Serra forged a signature at the bottom. The giggling girls then quickly went up the stairs with the letter. They silently approached Erk and Rebecca's room. Serra stuffed the letter under the door and knocked twice on the door. The three then broke for the stairs, just in case Rebecca opened the door.

"Do you think she bought it?" Nino asked as the three headed out back of the inn and found a place to hide.

"I'm sure she will." Serra said.

Back in the inn, Jessica saw the three conspirators head out the back door of the inn. She smiled and shook her head before going back to her reading. She knew Rebecca would never buy the letter. But before she could think of a way to embarrass the "Erky-Poo fan club" as she called them, Kate strode into the lobby and headed over to her friends.

"Charlie, Kiyo." Kate said without preamble. "I've got an idea."

"Please tell me it won't involve me mixing any more dangerous substances." Charlie said.

"Nothing of the sort." Kate said. "It won't involve you whatsoever."

"Good." Charlie said. "So what IS your idea?"

"Well, I'm thinking that you could write Kiyo here an excuse letter from school and then we can open up the K/K Beauty Salon temporarily." Kate said.

"Wait…you're not talking about that thing you open every summer next to the inn to give people makeovers are you?" Charlie asked.

"The one and the same, what do you say?" Kate asked.

"I think it's a fun idea!" Kiyoko squealed. "Will you write me that excuse Chawee?"

"…I don't know why I have to write you that excuse, but if it'll make you happy." Charlie sighed. "But seriously, remember last summer when you two got a little too creative with the costumers?"

"Hey, they didn't have any artistic creativity like we do." Kate said indignantly.

"And you two HAD to put 'endorsed by the Silent Springs Innkeeper' on your window. I almost got lynched." Charlie said.

"Well, you said you'd support us." Kiyoko said.

"Not to go totally crazy!" Charlie grumbled. "I swear, that K/K Beauty Salon has become some kind of a hazard to humanity with you two running it."

Charlie knew immediately that he said something wrong. Both Kate and Kiyoko glared daggers at him. "Oh…shit…"

"OH SHIT IS RIGHT!" Both girls raged as they tackled the poor innkeeper and tied him up with some rope that magically appeared out of no where.

"AHH! WHAT ARE YOU TWO GOING TO DO TO ME!" Charlie said frantically as Kate and Kiyoko picked up his bound body.

"You'll see." The girls said evilly in unison.

Jessica watched the whole spectacle unfold in front of her. She was curious as she watched Kate and Kiyoko carry the hapless innkeeper out the back door. Just then Rebecca came downstairs holding the letter and looking at the rather peculiar scene with a puzzled look. She glanced at Jessica who shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine." The tactician said.

"Lets go check it out." Rebecca said. "And I got a letter from Erk telling me to meet him out back anyways."

Jessica nodded and the two headed out the back door. The scene behind the inn was quite interesting. Serra, Nino and Priscilla had come out of hiding to watch Kate and Kiyoko. The innkeeper was screaming curses to high heaven, and the two Silent Springs girls held the man near the edge of the cliff.

"Any last words Chawee?" Kiyoko asked sweetly.

"Not really." Charlie said.

"Okay then." Kate shrugged and the two girls flung the innkeeper bodily from the cliff.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………" The scream echoed across the canyon before a sickening thud was heard.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Jessica screamed.

"OH MY GOD!" Rebecca yelled.

"DEAR ST. ELIMINE!" Serra screamed.

"MURDERERS!" Priscilla cried out.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" Nino screeched.

"Meh…don't worry." Kate said. "He'll live."

"HOW! It's a five hundred foot drop to the bottom!" Serra said. "Nobody can survive that!"

"Yeah!" Rebecca said. Then suddenly she remembered Erk's letter. She looked around and saw no purple haired mage, but all the regular suspects from his fan club were there. "Like what you three planned on doing to me?" Rebecca asked.

"Uh oh…" Serra said.

"Busted." Priscilla murmured.

"Uh…we'll…just be leaving now." Nino said. On cue, all three of the conspirators ran away.

Kate and Kiyoko blinked at the running girls and shrugged. They then walked calmly back into the inn, followed by Rebecca and Jessica, who were still in shock.

"What did he do?" Jessica asked.

"He mocked us." Kate said.

"And you killed him?" Rebecca asked. "That ain't right."

"Meh, he's still alive." Kate said.

"Yeah, we'd never actually kill him." Kiyoko said.

"HOW!" Jessica asked.

"You'll have to ask him." Kiyoko said pointing towards the door. Standing in the frame was the innkeeper, bloodied and bent in various locations where his bones fractured. Rebecca and Jessica fought to control their fear.

"…How…what…that…WHAT!" The stuttered.

"I'm almost used to it." Charlie said. "I've been thrown off that cliff so many times that I built a shaft that would warp me up immediately after I hit the ground."

"…I don't know whether to be impressed or scared." Jessica said.

"Up to you." Charlie said as he limped into the room and collapsed onto a table. Silently, Kiyoko pulled a medic kit from the counter and walked over to the collapsed innkeeper and began to bandage his wounds.

"Did it hurt?" Kiyoko asked.

"Not more than usual." Charlie responded. "I managed to keep my left leg from fracturing though."

"Heh, that's good. What about your right?"

"It's been better."

Rebecca and Jessica stared at the scene in front of them. "Is this like a routine?" Jessica asked.

"More or less." Kate said.

"Again…how DOES he live?" Rebecca asked. "It doesn't seem physically possible."

"That's something we'll never know." Kate said. "Now come on, I have a private pool in the hot springs for you, I thought you need some rest."

Rebecca looked over at Jessica who shrugged. "Go ahead, I want to finish reading."

Rebecca nodded and followed Kate out the door towards the hot springs. Kate brought Rebecca throw a private side door that opened into a small-enclosed area with a mini hot spring. After leaving out a towel and some non-alcoholic drinks, Kate left Rebecca to relax in the warming water.

The sniper sat in the springs, her mind thinking about a mage that she so desperately wants to forget, but at the same time almost lusts for. Rebecca mentally slapped herself after what seemed like the twentieth nasty thought she had.

'I need to get away from Erk.' She thought.

Little did she know, three sets of eyes were watching her. Serra, Priscilla and Nino had shadowed Kate and Rebecca all the way to this private spring. As they watched the sniper relax in the spring, a most devious plan came to their minds.

"This place is isolated with only one way out." Serra briefed her comrades. "If we can block the only exit, Rebecca will wither and die in here from the heat before anyone even NOTICES that she's missing."

"It's the only good idea you've come up with all afternoon." Nino said.

"Hey, no one said being a genius was easy." Serra huffed. The three then without a word began to collect rocks and blocking off the door. Within minutes, the door was successfully barricaded.

Serra, Priscilla and Nino stood back to admire their handiwork.

"Not bad." Serra said.

"Pretty good." Priscilla agreed.

"It's wonderful!" Nino said.

"Right…" another voice ran out.

The three conspirators jumped and turned around. They saw Rebecca, wrapped in a towel, standing there and glaring at them. "Only one thing, you morons managed to barricade yourselves as well."

That's when the three magic users noticed that they were on the wrong side of the barricade. They began to panic.

"AHHH!" Nino screamed.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Serra cried.

"Lord…brother." Priscilla said sadly.

Rebecca sighed. "Get a grip. You won't die in here."

"What do you mean? We're barricaded in and there's no other way out!" Serra said frantically. "And it's all your fault."

"My fault? Excuse me?" Rebecca said indignantly. "You're the ones trying to KILL me."

"We wouldn't if you didn't steal Erky from us." Serra said.

"For the last time…I WAS DRUNK!" Rebecca screamed. "I DIDN'T WANT TO ALMOST DO IT WITH HIM!"

The three conspirators jumped at Rebecca's outburst.

"But…you…" Serra started.

"Look, the truth is, some kids switched the signs in the dressing rooms this morning and Erk and I accidentally ended up in the same room. There was an emergency and we got locked in. Kate gave us some drinks that made us drunk…and well, it just happened." Rebecca explained. "I know recently Erk and I have been…well, together a lot in a sense since we've been fighting a lot, but I don't think I like him…"

"You don't…think?" Priscilla asked.

"I'm not sure about anything anymore…" Rebecca said. "I didn't want what happened this morning to happen. And now, you three are trying to kill me. I just…feel so sad."

"Aww…I'm sorry…" Priscilla said.

"Me too." Nino said. The two then went up to Rebecca and they shared a heart-warming hug.

"That's great and all." Serra said. "I'm glad you guys are friend again, I still don't trust you Rebecca, and most importantly, WE'RE STILL GONNA DIE!"

"Oh yeah…" Priscilla said.

"Nah, we're not." Rebecca said. "No offense, but you guys suck at building barricades."

The sniper then went over to the rock pile that blocked the door and kicked away a small pebble at the base. Moments later, the entire pile collapsed and revealed the door, leaving the three former conspirators with their mouth hanging open.

"Well, come on." Rebecca said. "It's almost time for dinner."

She then picked up her clothes and strode out. Soon, Priscilla, Nino and Serra snapped out of their trance and followed suit.

"Maybe we were wrong about her." Nino said.

"Yeah, and she and Erky do make a cute couple." Priscilla said sadly. "Maybe we should give up, and she DID save our lives."

"Yeah…" Nino agreed.

"Whatever…" grumbled Serra.

Back at the inn, Kiyoko was just finishing up her bandage work on Charlie when Rebecca strode in, smiling for the first time since the morning's incident.

"Wow…the hot springs did her wonders." Charlie said. "Maybe I should take a dip later."

"We still have tonight's meeting." Kiyoko reminded him.

"Oh yeah…" Charlie said. "And it's time for dinner."

He got up and tested his legs. Kiyoko had done a decent job wrapping him up and she had asked the Bishop named Lucius to use a mend stave on him. There was a little pain, but he could walk.

"Well, shall we go m'dear?" Charlie asked dramatically extending a hand towards Kiyoko. "I'll have Fae get you some of that pocky sundae you like so much."

"Certainly!" Kiyoko said in a regal tone, dramatically taking the innkeepers bandaged hands. The two laughed at their little charade as they walked out towards the restaurant.

"Say Kiyo." Charlie said. "I have an idea."

"Eh?"

"It's about the K/K Beauty Salon." Charlie said watching a certain blue haired lord walk into the restaurant followed by a female wyvern lord. "I have the perfect costumer for you."

As Charlie whispered his plot to Kiyoko, her evil grin grew bigger, and bigger.

* * *

Charlie: …Whew…I'm done. That took a while. Oh well, I'm so glad people like this fic. When I got the idea for it, I thought I was a bit crazy. Heh, thanks for all the support everyone. I'll try to make this as good as I can (although this chapter seems kinda forced at places) Meh, the heats getting to me. **Reviewer's Corner n.n**

Nightmare: Kiyoko says pocky works for writers block. I'll suggest AP tests…since they fried my brain of all logical thinking; I was able to come up with this. You'll show on day two and have a hand in the explosive gag that results from the Samantha/Matthew incident that I talked about in my opening notes.

Jackswitch: I'll be e-mailing you for the description once Day 2 gets started so I won't lose it. Thanks for the compliment, and I hope my writing keeps up. Oh and we're only on day 1 XD;

Random: Does the last thing Charlie say give a clue as to who'll be next on my list? And that Final Fantasy movie was horrible…ugh… The demon in Samantha is a monster.

Inferno-Hero: Yep, Mage-y Twin! Louisa isn't your real twin though; everyone just calls you twins since you two cause trouble together.

RWT: K/K Beauty Salon…that's ALL you need to know XD;;; Heh, this is the "unofficial" end of Erk's fan club…but trust me…the girls can't resist the urge.

Green Paladin: Yes, plastic knives and bad movies. Life is good indeed. I have more failed murder attempts again in here, all thwarted by bad planning or just pure bad luck.

Angel of Fate1: Hehe, sorry, but Karla ain't with Bartre in this one. And remember, K/K Beauty Salon! MUAHAHAHAH!

Aeros Fujita: I'll see about your name because on second thought Aeros sounds fine. The boarder guards aren't gonna be doing much guarding (like the teachers never teach) but you'll have some fun parts.

Mierin Eronaile: The focus will randomly shift as I please. I'm making this up as I go. There's nothing in terms of heavy duty planning, but I do basic sketches of what events happen, but mainly, the focus shifts. Jaffar saying 'meh' did seem kinda off, but I can't think of what to make him say other than just plain ol '…' but that's boring.

Aminec: Yeah, I had to introduce a lot of the staff in that one so Ch. 4 was heavily focused on OCs. Samantha will have more chats with herself, and most of them would be quite interesting. You'll be showing up more as the fic goes on (as does everyone else)

KevinC: Well, guys tend to be more calm about these things and girls tend to overreact…but I may be generalizing a bit. As you can see, the magic girls still haven't retired from killing Rebecca, and I'm pretty sure Karel and Priscilla will have…QUITE the interesting night in the next chapter.

Samantha: I love you too! (I love everyone, so don't take it the wrong way.) Heh, well, the vegetarian line was just…there to counter the "eat their guts" part. Oh and…I really hope you don't mind me making Matt semi-fall for you… I'm gonna make that blow into a really humorous event later on.

Silvara: Heh…thanks!

Sandoishi: Yeah, you're right, your sister is here. I'm gonna borrow from some of your description if you don't mind…but mostly the physical ones because I needed to alter the background a bit. And her demon'll be a bit more…whacky. I'm glad she -takes deep breath- really really really really really really really really likes this. (I tend to overuse adjectives as well XD;;; so yeah)

Blob: Heh, I hope my writing is still up to scratch. Hope you'll continue to enjoy this.

Kiyoko-Chan: Yeah, it IS that bad. FF:TSW is one of the most horrible movies I've watched (And I used it because it's almost unanimously accepted as a bad movie). And of course you're not speaking from experience, since you obviously don't take part in assassinations -wink wink nudge nudge-. Hehe, I told Nightmare your cure, wonder if it'll work. Oh well, got the chappy up, and I hope you leveled by the time you read this n.n.

Charlie: Phew…that…was long. Page and a half long…wow… Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'll get you guys a better Review Appreciation Gift next chapter (since I'm basically out of ideas right now). I hope this is still good and I love you all! Keep reviewing! n.n


	6. Midnight Meetings 2

Charlie: Hmm...well...yeah...nothing much to say again. I'm bring the boarder guards in early because I got a funny post dinner gag before the midnight meetings. Yes, this is the second official Midnight Meeting for the Silent Springs staff, aside from the main staff, Alan, Dias and Samantha shall be attending, however, the rest of the staff members will be introduced in this chapter as well as a bit more background…yeah, so it's another OC oriented chappy, sorry. Well, umm..that's that. FE 8's out and I want it bad, but first, I must get this chappy out to you my beloved readers. Well, enjoy, I don't own FE.

* * *

Midnight Meetings 2 

Charlie and Kiyoko sat alone at a huge table at one end of the restaurant. They tried to attract as little attention as possible while still snickering over Charlie's rather devious plan. The members of Eliwood's Elite were being indignantly separated into pairs based on their rooming. As the pairs were shown to their seats by none other than the restaurant manager Lulu, they all stole a glance to the hysterical pair sitting at the table set for around nine, wondering what they were laughing at.

A bit later, Alan came into the room and found Charlie and Kiyoko trying to suppress laughing their head off…or at least trying their best to. He walked over to the table with a puzzled look on his face.

"Umm…what's so funny guys?" Alan asked.

Charlie looked up at him and said between laughs. "Kate and Kiyoko are going to reopen the K/K Beauty Salon."

Alan looked at Charlie as if he were turning into a dragon. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah!" Charlie said hysterically. "Isn't it great?"

Alan glared at Kiyoko. "The hell did you do to him?" He said in a dangerously low voice.

Kiyoko looked at Alan weird. "Nothing!" She said.

"Oh come on!" Alan groaned. "The last time Charlie was happy with the K/K Beauty Salon was when it was shut down!"

The innkeeper decided it was time to cut in. "Alan, it's not like that…I finally found a use for the K/K Beauty Salon."

Alan looked at his friend funny. "Who are you and what have you done with Charlie?"

"No I'm serious!" The young innkeeper said and he motioned for Alan to come closer. Moving over, Charlie whispered a few words into Alan's ear, and immediately the archer's face lit up.

"Are you serious!" Alan asked Charlie, now snickering as well. "Do you think it'll work?"

"I'm positive!" Charlie said. "Now we just have to get Brian and Sammy on the plan."

Then as if on cue, the Bishop and his priestess walked into the restaurant and headed for their friends.

"Great timing Brian.' Charlie said.

"For what?" Brian asked looking perplexed. "And what's so funny?"

"Come here." Charlie said motioning for the pair to move closer. He leaned in and whispered the same thing he said to Alan. The two servants of St. Elimine immediately cracked.

"That's rich Charlie." Brian said. "I'll even let you temporarily move the K/K Beauty Salon into the church for this."

"It's mean though." Samantha noted between laughs.

"Who cares?" Charlie said. "Jessica wants torture, so we'll give them torture."

"I know." The priestess said pleasantly. "I'm just saying it's mean."

"Does Kate know about this yet?" Brian asked.

"Do I know about what?" Kate said suddenly popping out of nowhere.

"AHH! Where did you come from?" Charlie asked as the entire table jumped.

"Huh? Oh, I was digging a tunnel to the inn, but I got lost." Kate said smiling sheepishly.

"Gee… only you Kate." Charlie said. "Anyways…" The innkeeper did the same old thing and whispered his plan into Kate's ear, who immediately exploded into fits of laughter, causing the entire room to turn and stare.

"Quiet Kate!" Brian hissed and the girl calmed down a bit. Charlie managed to make up some half assed excuse about a knock-knock joke that made everyone calm down a bit.

"I like it!" Kate squealed.

"I thought you would." Charlie said. Then Lulu and Fae brought out the food. They served all the Eliwood people before bringing food to the Silent Springs table. Then they sat down and everyone began to eat.

"Okay, what's so funny?" Lulu asked. "I can hear you from all the way in the kitchen."

"What's funny?" Sonia asked walking in as well.

"These guys have some kind a secret that's supposedly hilarious." Lulu explained. "Poor Fae almost dropped a stack of plates when Kate's shriek of doom went through the kitchen."

"Hey!" Kate said indignantly.

"Can it girl." Lulu said. "Now tell us before I chop your tongues off."

"All right." Charlie said shaking his head. He leaned towards the three sisters and whispered the same thing into their ear. The immediately began to crack up.

"Oh man." Lulu said snickering. "You've topped yourself on this one Charlie."

"Pure gold man." Sonia said.

"It'll be funny." Fae squeaked.

"She speaks." Alan mumbled and was promptly whacked by both Sonia and Lulu. "Ow…"

"Okay, so when do we tell Jessica?" Brian asked.

"Tonight's Midnight Meeting." Charlie said.

"Okay…mind if Sam comes along?" Brian asked.

"Sure." Charlie said. "I'm sure Jessica doesn't mind."

"Yay!" Samantha gave a rare squeal.

"Okay, well you guys continue with your conspiracy, I've gotta go work on mine. Come on Fae." Lulu said getting up. Her little sister immediately stood up and followed into the kitchen.

"Heh, time to watch the fireworks." Charlie said.

The desserts were served soon, it was strawberry cheesecake with pocky on the side. Needless to say, Kiyoko went off the walls. Lulu served the Silent Springs people first, followed by Jessica and her cohorts in the twisted operation, then she randomly served the other members of the army, making sure not to serve the table where Hector and Vaida were. Soon, everyone was eating except for Hector and Vaida.

"Hey! What about us?" Hector roared.

"We want dessert too!" Vaida sneered.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Lulu said sarcastically. "But we've miscounted. I'll have Fae cook up something special for you guys!"

"Yeah…sure." Hector said. "Just make it snappy."

Lulu nodded curtly and disappeared into the kitchen. Hector grumbled and sat back in his seat. He and Vaida were seated together much to their distaste, but they couldn't do anything about it, so they just settled into a semi-glaring contest.

Soon however, it was appearant that Lulu and Fae had no intentions of being "snappy." Most everyone was finished with the dessert and were all waiting on Hector and Vaida. Hector just sat there and growled.

"This damn special better be worth the wait…"

"Hey!" Jessica suddenly announced to clear the air of tension. "Why don't we go over to the inn, I'll have Charlie fix us something snippy."

"What about us?" Hector asked.

Jessica handed him a bag of gold. "Just pay for us when you're done and come over to have a drink."

With that, everyone got up and left the restaurant, leaving a fuming Hector and an annoyed Vaida to themselves.

Hector looked across the table at the woman, or as close to a woman she got to, sitting there. She sat there, silently, not exactly paying attention. It was a while before she noticed Hector was staring.

"Yes?" Vaida asked in a bored voice.

"Huh?" Hector noticed he was staring. "Oh…sorry, I was just umm…well…"

"Out with it fool." Vaida snapped.

"Your scar…it looks bad." Hector said.

"I fell okay?" Vaida said. "It bled for a long time, but it's mostly healed now."

"Do you ever think about getting it covered up?" Hector asked. He didn't exactly want to make small talk, but it was getting really boring really fast.

"No…" Vaida said. "I'm a solder…looking pretty isn't exactly one of those things I worry about."

"But don't you miss being pretty?" Hector asked, mentally slapping himself. He could not believe he was this bored.

Vaida got a soft look in her eyes momentarily before turning into stone again. "No, not really."

"I see…" Hector said. "But then again…you would look nice if you grew out your hair and got that scar covered up. You're not that old you know."

"I know." Vaida said softly. "I just don't particularly care."

Just then, the two heard a soft throat being cleared above them. They looked up to see Lulu and Fae carrying a huge tray with a flaming cake on it.

"It's Fae's specialty." Lulu said pouring some liquor into the flames creating a huge fireball. She was skilled not to turn the bottle into a Molotov Cocktail. "Baked Ilia."

Hector and Vaida stared at the huge cake as the two sisters served them. The cake was baked to perfection and the ice cream inside was still cold, but soft and sweet. It was truly delicious.

Afterwards, Hector paid Lulu with the bag of gold and he left with Vaida towards the inn. Inside, they said a polite parting word to each other before heading their separate ways to meet with friends and drinks. Jessica was at the counter with the Silent Springs people when she saw them.

"Well, they aren't yelling." Jessica said. "That's good."

"We're making progress." Charlie nodded.

Suddenly, he noticed something in the window. "Ahh crap…"

"Eh?" Jessica asked perplexed.

"Boarder Guards…" Charlie groaned.

"What? Already?" Kiyoko piped up from next to him.

"You guys are losing me here." Jessica said.

"You know the Etrurian-Lycian Boarder Patrol Force?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah." Jessica said. "You're on the boarder, so maybe they're just passing by."

"I don't think so." Charlie said. "We don't have strip clubs in town."

"Besides." Kate spoke out. "The only times when the boarder guards show up is either when there's bandits around, it's Drafting Time, or on Charlie's 'Endless Mug Friday Nights' in July."

"Ahh…" Jessica said. "Well, my people would be glad to help out with bandits."

"It's not the bandits I'm worried about." Charlie said. "It's the draft notices."

"Well, lets go check it out?" Kiyoko asked.

"Yeah…" Charlie said grimly. "Before they start breaking down the doors."

The Silent Springs people in the Inn walked grimly out of the inn. Already, a small crowd had gathered around the Boarder guard. Word has apparently gotten around fast, but then, Charlie saw Erimus there along with his wife, so he wasn't surprised.

Erimus was the town's postal office worker. He was a toned twenty seven year old man who worked and fought with twin daggers. His spiked teal hair made him stick out like a Wyvern in a Pegasi stable among all the other Silent Springs residents who all had rather mellow colored hair. He was very protective, especially with his wife Lizzie.

Lizzie was Erimus' wife. She was a petite twenty seven year old resident of Silent Springs. She was the town's naturalist and worked with Alan during the scenic tours of the surrounding regions. She was quite pretty with medium length brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. She had a gentle voice, but if you ever piss her off, may St. Elimine help you.

Charlie and his friends headed closer to the group. He saw some more residents gathered there.

Most prominent was Kevin, the librarian. He was a twenty-year-old druid, with dark hair and always wearing the blackish purple robes associated with druids. The man ran the town library, which was a piece of work in it self. The library of Silent Springs was not known to any visitors. It was safely tucked away in the mountainside with a very obscure path leading to it. Inside the library, many things have been known to happen, some amusing, some scary, and some fatal. It was quite the deadly place if you didn't know your way around it.

Next to Kevin were the teachers from the school, Dias, George, Glenn and Fureal, along with the janitor Aminec. Charlie noted with a hint of amusement that Fureal and Aminec were in there "off again" season and weren't talking to each other. The magic teacher and the janitor dated each other periodically, splitting up for periods before making going back together. It was quite an interesting show. Dias on the other hand, smiled when he saw Sonia, who bounded over and gave him a big hug and a quick kiss. Charlie remembered that Sonia was dating Dias. With twenty six people living in the town during the winter season when the parents were all living away from home, passions tend to rise a bit albeit the cold weather.

Charlie then turned his attention onto the boarder guards. The three boarder guards who frequented Silent Springs were known notoriously throught the town for their alleged perverseness and drunken behavior. Needless to say, none of the guards were perverted nor that heavy of drinkers. They were just hated because the boarder guards brought draft notices that usually pulled one of the seven members of the defense force.

The leader of the boarder guards was a dense nineteen-year-old swordmaster named Lee. He was a bit dense at times, but on the battlefield, he was a competent swordsman. Next to him was his second in command Sharn. He was nineteen years old and a swordmaster as well. The final member of the boarder guard trio was a man named Aeros. He was an assassin by class, wielding two daggers; quite deadly in battle if his enemies don't watch their backs.

Lee looked out among the Silent Springs citizenry. He knew that he wasn't exactly the most popular person in town, but he had a job to do.

"Citizens of Silent Springs." Lee announced. "I'm here two day on two counts of business. First, as you all know, are the drafting notices for the Lycian Boarder Militia."

A collective groan was heard through out the crowd.

"But, to make your lives easier, our policy has changed so that only one member of each family between the ages of 14 and 26 may be drafted. In addition, if your parents are officers in the army, you will not be drafted, meaning most of you are off the hook."

The crowd began to jitter. This was indeed good news. That made many of them ineligible since most of them already had a family member in the army.

"However, there are three of you for whom I have notices. Please come up when I call your name. You may make your requests then." Lee said reaching into his robes and producing three pieces of parchment.

"First, Kiyoko W. Lee." The swordmaster announced, drawing a laugh as Kiyoko's last name was the same as his first name. Kiyoko stepped up. "Your Father, Robert E. Lee was a great general."

"Thank you sir." Kiyoko said with surprising poise.

"However, you are not." Lee continued with a scowl. "General Ricks of the Boarder Guards has signed the official order. You, Miss Lee, have been summarily kicked out of the Boarder Guards for unnecessary roughness and bringing unauthorized equipment into camp. You will not serve although you meet the criteria."

"Yes sir." Kiyoko said with a fake sadness. In reality, she was overjoyed. When she, Charlie, and the others were drafted years before into the special program, she nearly killed then Colonel Ricks over a pack of pocky, since then, she has waited for her boot orders. Now she finally got it. She stepped to the side without taking her summons.

"Okay, Next. Brian Chow." Lee read out.

Brian moved up and stood at attention in front of Lee. "I would like to request a formal discharge from military service." He said.

Lee knew it was coming, but Brian had a legit reason. "On what grounds?"

"I need to provide care to my assistant, Samantha, who as you know, is currently being possessed by a demon." Brian said. "Removing my presence would result in unspeakable consequences."

"Understood." Lee said. "You are dismissed."

Brian smiled and stood next to Kiyoko without taking his summons. Lee drew a deep breath. It was time to catch his prey.

"Charlie W. Wu." He said.

Charlie walked up and stood at military attention in front of Lee.

"Mr. Wu, you are to report to the Ryerde Draft Camp in two days, from there you will…"

"Excuse me sir." Charlie said. "But I would also like to request a dismissal from military service."

"On what grounds?" Lee said sneering. Charlie had pulled every dodge in the past from funeral attendence to financial disability. "Your parent's funerals are long over, and yes, I do know about Lord Hector's vacation here so you are NOT poor right now."

"Umm…" Charlie was sweating, he had not expected Lee to know about Hector. "Uhh…." The innkeeper fished around. Finally he had no choice. He grabbed Kiyoko and pulled her to him. "My sister, Kiyoko is pregnant, I must provide her care during her pregnancy."

The effect was instantaneous. The crowd exploded into a torrent of voices while Lee, Kiyoko and Brian stared at Charlie incredulously.

"SHE'S WHAT!" Lee screamed.

"YOUR WHO IS WHAT!" Brian yelled.

"I'M WHAT!" Kiyoko screeched.

"Kiyoko, the person who in a sense has become like a sister to me, is pregnant. I have taken charge of her care, and therefore I am considered her legal guardian." Charlie continued. "Therefore, I cannot leave during such a critical time of her life."

"What about the father?" Lee asked.

"Kiyoko is not married to the father, so I still assume responsibility for her." Charlie said.

Lee was about to retort when the people inside the inn came out, attracted to the sudden outburst. Hector, Eliwood and Lyn stepped to the front where Lee was.

"Lord Hector." Lee said immediately, falling to his knees. Aeros and Sharn followed suit.

"Oh get up." Hector growled. "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no problem sir." Lee said hurriedly.

"Excuse me." Hector growled. "You're scowling. You my boy, don't scowl for fun. That scowl tells me something's wrong here."

"Yes sir…" Lee said softly.

"And now that I'm here, it becomes MY problem." Hector continued. "You get my drift here? Now what is the problem?"

"Routine drafting call sir." Lee said. "This man here." Lee pointed to Charlie. "Claims that his sister is pregnant."

Hector looked at Charlie who was still clutching to Kiyoko like she was going to collapse if he let go.

"Well, if a man says his sister is pregnant, then who are we to not believe him?" Hector said.

"Congratulations Kiyoko!" Lyn squealed.

"And to you too Charlie." Eliwood said. "Or shall I call you 'Uncle?'"

It was all Kiyoko and Charlie could do to stand there smiling, though silently, Kiyoko was jabbing her elbow into Charlie's gut over and over again.

"Now, why don't we ALL just go into the inn for a drink?" Hector said. "You too Lee. I'm sure the soon-to-be mother and uncle would be happy to fix us a drink."

"Oh yes." Charlie said. "Please, right this way."

Charlie pointed to the inn and everyone began to file in. Kiyoko pulled back and held Charlie behind.

"What was THAT!" She whispered dangerously.

"Sorry Kiyo…" Charlie said. "But I need an out…and Lee cornered me…"

"But I'm not pregnant!" Kiyoko said. "The minute I take off this heavy coat everyone will know!"

"Then don't take off your coat!" Charlie said.

"I don't like this." Kiyoko grumbled.

"Please Kiyo…" Charlie begged.

"It'll cost ya."

"How much?" Charlie asked. He braced for it.

"Ten favors…" Kiyoko said. "Anything I want you to do…you do."

"As long as it won't get me busted." Charlie said. "I'll do it."

"Good." Kiyoko said. "Now first you'll get me some ice cream with pocky."

"Yes ma'am!" Charlie said saluting. Kiyoko whacked him lightly and the two strode into the inn.

Charlie went to the bar followed by Kiyoko. He set about making drinks while various people went up to Kiyoko and congratulated her. Kiyoko stood there smiling.

"I'm gonna kill you Charlie." She muttered through a fake smile.

"I know." Charlie muttered back.

Time went on and everyone invariably got hopelessly drunk, except for the secret attendees of the second official Midnight Meeting. Around the midnight hour, Charlie, along with Kiyoko, Brian, Kate, the three sisters, Alan, Samantha, Jessica, Pent, Louise, Canas and Dorcas began to drag people to their rooms. Charlie put the boarder guards into a room on the third floor away from the other guests. The children of Silent Springs helped the drunken adults leave while the wives and girlfriends supported their husbands and boyfriends. Finally, after nearly an hour, the task was done and the exhausted attendees of the Midnight Meeting convened in the lobby.

Charlie, Kiyoko and Alan were collapsed on one couch facing the bar while Jessica and her four trustees from Eliwood's army was collapsed on another. Fae and Lulu were sitting at the bar. Brian and Samantha were leaning against one wall. Sonia was cuddled in Dias' arms while Kate stood by the window.

"Dear lord…" Jessica groaned stretching out her legs and arms. "How much alcohol did they drink!"

"By my count." Charlie said. "Thirty seven bottles of merlot, twenty bottles of zinfandel, twenty five bottles of sauvignon, twenty seven bottles of scotch, 40 bottles of rum, 36 bottles of whiskey, 42 bottles of cognac, and eighteen bottles of pure methanol."

"Dear St. Elimine…" Brian said. "And nobody died?"

"Amazingly…" Charlie said.

"Well, congrats Kiyoko." Kate said; "Not only will you be a proud mother, but you have also caused acute cirrhosis in over sixty people."

"Oh shut up." Kiyoko said. "It's Charlie's fault."

"What!" Charlie said. "ME!"

"Yeah, you and your stupid announcement that I was pregnant." Kiyoko growled.

"Hey, I had no choice kiddo." Charlie said.

"Speaking of which…who IS the father?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, not wanting to believe that Kate didn't see through the lie.

"The father." Kate said. "You know, the one who's having this baby with Kiyoko."

"Kate…" Charlie said. "I don't think you understood me that when I told Lee that Kiyo was my pregnant sister I wa-"

"You mean…" Kate interrupted.

"Yes…" Charlie said. "I wa-"

"YOU'RE THE FATHER!" Kate burst out. "OH MY GOD!"

Everyone around the room smacked their foreheads.

"No Kate." Kiyoko said. "Charlie was lying through his teeth…I'm NOT pregnant, and he sure as hell isn't the father."

"WHAT!" Kate said. "NO BABY!"

"No Kate." Kiyoko said. "No baby."

"Aww…" Kate sniffed.

"It's okay Katie." Brian said. "Someone here's gotta have a new baby soon."

"YAY!" Kate smiled.

"Wow, she's easy to please." Pent said holding his wife closer to him.

"Yeah…anyway, lets get on with tonight's meeting." Jessica said. "Okay, recap, the Erk and Rebecca trap worked beautifully."

"I'll say." Charlie muttered.

"Jaffar and Matthew worked pretty good and Hector and Vaida we'll still have to see." Jessica finished.

"Oh speaking of which." Charlie said. "I want to talk to you about a plan I have for Hector and Vaida."

"Oh?" Jessica said. "Lets hear it."

"Well, you see, Kate and Kiyoko run a salon by the hot springs in the summer called the K/K Beauty Salon." Charlie said.

"Yeah…and?" Jessica asked.

"Well, Brian happened to develop a new formula for hair growth." Charlie said pointing at the Bishop. "So my plan is that we trick Vaida into going with Kate and Kiyoko, and then giving her a complete makeover, covering that scar and growing her hair and giving her some decent clothes."

"Sounds like a plan." Jessica said. "Only how are you going to pull it off."

"Well…" Kiyoko said. "I'm thinking that you send Vaida down to the church on some random errand. Kate and I will act the ditzy beauty parlor part and force her to getting a free makeover."

"Won't she get suspicious that she's the only one there and it just so HAPPENS that there's a free beauty makeover thing going on in the church?" Pent asked.

"That's simple." Kate said. "We'll get one of the local girls in too."

"Who?" Samantha asked.

"I'm thinking Hitomi." Kate said.

"Who's Hitomi?" Jessica asked.

"The most tomboyish girl you'll ever meet." Charlie replied. "Good one Kate."

"Thank you." Kate said.

"Okay, so I'll deal with Vaida and Hector." Jessica said. "Anyways, onto the others. Lucius and Bartre will have their daily tutoring sessions so we'll leave them. Who should we trap next?"

"Sain and Florina?" Louise suggested. "They're so cute together."

"Hmm…" Jessica said. "Okay, but how?"

"I got it." Dias spoke up. He shifted his weight because Sonia had fell asleep in his lap and was clinging to his neck. "Send those two to the school to give a special demonstration on the use of lances since we don't have any lance users in the school other than Aminec, and she's too lazy to teach."

"What'll you do?" Jessica asked.

"Well, the entire student body and all the staff will be told this." Dias said. "I'm sure Charlie, Kiyoko, Alan and Sam will be there right?"

The four nodded.

"Well, we just trap them in various locations. There's a cliff behind the school that drops fifty feet into running water." Dias continued. "If we can make Sain save Florina from a seemingly perilous situation, then I'm sure some sparks will fly."

"Plus if it doesn't work, we'll just lock them in some closet or in the back yard together." Alan said.

"Well…" Jessica said. "You sure Florina would be safe?"

"I'll have Aminec floating at the bottom on her Pegasus." Dias said. "In case Florina really falls."

"Okay…" Jessica said. "Good. That about covers it."

"Only two couples?" Charlie asked.

"No, three." Jessica said. "On my rounds, I injected everyone, except for Sain and Florina, with a special alcohol suppressant. In two hours, everyone except those two will wake up with a hangover."

"And?" Charlie asked.

"Most people will just probably just split up and fall asleep again, to sleep off the headache." Jessica said. "Except for one person."

"Who?" Lulu asked.

"Lyn." Jessica said. Suddenly, Canas, Dorcas, Pent and Louise sat up.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Pent asked.

"Lyn gets overprotective of Florina?" Dorcas said.

"Parks herself outside their room and futilly tries to get in but fails since they're too wasted." Pent said.

"Then Heath comes to her rescue." Louise finished sighing happily. "Preventing her from becoming a popscicle."

"Exactly." Jessica said.

"Are you sure this will work?" Lulu asked.

"Trust me…" Jessica said. "If you know Lyn…she will do this."

"Well, if you say so." Charlie said.

"I do say so." Jessica nodded. "We have an hour or so before everyone wakes up with a splitting headache, what do you want to do?"

"Shouldn't we go?" Fae asked.

"I need your help in case anyone needs medical attention." Jessica said. "Besides, it's boring without you guys."

"Fine, how aboutI go make some juice and you guys want to play cards?" Charlie asked.

"Sounds nice." Pent said. "What're we playing?"

"You guys know how to play hold 'em?" Lulu asked.

"Yeah." Dorcas said. "Lets go."

Charlie got up and went over to pour some juice while Kiyoko broke out the cards and betting chips. Everyone joined in except for Dias who was still holding his sleeping girlfriend. He picked her up and went over to a couch overlooking the game.

"Charlie…" Kiyoko said softly when the game was about to start.

"Yeah…" Charlie whispered back.

"Can you do something for me?" Kiyoko said.

"I owe you ten favors remember?" Charlie said.

"Go all in." Kiyoko said softly.

"..that's cruel." Charlie replied.

"That's life." Kiyoko smiled and waited for her friend to make the dumbest move he ever did in his life.

Charlie sighed. He looked at his cards, a 2 and a seven, unsuited. The worst hand a person could ever get. He looked at Kiyoko when it came to his turn to bet. The he sighed and pushed his pile of chips in.

"All in." He said smugly.

**End... Day 1**

* * *

Charlie: I have never gone all in on a 2, 7 unsuited, so don't think I would actually do it. Anyways, yeah, next chapter… not everyone with a headache goes right to sleep as Jessica predicts, and with the Silent Springs people still hanging around, it could turn interesting. Yes folks, we are OFFICIALLY now into day 2. YAY! -gives all his readers and reviewers cookies-**Reviewer Corner n.n**

KevinC: Heh, well you will know of the terror of the K/K Beauty Salon! MUAHAHAHA! Serra's plans were just…too rushed to work. Besides, Rebecca could probably fist fight all three of the magic girls and win.

Aeros Fujita: Yeah, Aeros is nicer. Heh, my updating skills aren't that special…all you need to do is take a dozen AP tests followed by half a dozen chapter tests in school. That's what inspired me to write this thing. (My brain was so fried…it began to make strange corrolations).

Samantha: Hehe, Matty is fun, and fun to bash! Wee! Anyways, there will probably be a semi-romance between you and Matt…but don't worry…it won't get anywhere even REMOTELY close that what happens to Erk and Rebecca.

Nightmare: Well, you were introduced, but not that big of a part yet. Don't worry, you'll get your fun lines soon. Oh and Karel…I need you to sign release forms. I can't be held responsible for injury, death, decapitation, dismemberment, disembowlment or any other forms of grisly death that may happen to you.

Kiyoko-Chan: Yay! You finally leveled! n.n I own you ten favors in this fic, I seriously hope one of my gags in this won't give you ideas (But then I owe you infinity favors in RL so it doesn't matter). Hehe, and of course you'll get pocky.

RWT: Oh, I get randomly abused for small details, and don't ask how I survived, I don't know myself. Lee made his appearance, of course, it's not that big of a part, but then soon my friend…SOON… or at least soon in the time context of this fic…which at the rate I'm going would be almost five or more chapters per day (I mean, six chapters and we JUST passed the day 1 barrier).

Draknal: The Erky-poo fan club isn't over yet. Oh no, I am an evil bastard and I must see them suffer more! Hehe, anyways, Charlie's so used to being thrown off cliffs that it's almost become routine for him. And Karel will snap sooner than you may expect…

Aminec: Yes, this has only been day ONE! Which means there will be fourteen even MORE torturous days ahead of them! YAY! Your janitor job isn't that bad, but then you have something against Alan (partly because he's messy, and partly because he's an archer). You'll have fun with the Sain/Florina gag.

Inferno-Hero: True…but I'm a soft California boy…meh, or A/C is fixed so meh. And yes, I did fall off a cliff. Oh well, be prepared to torture Sain in the near future!


	7. Midnight Mayhem

Charlie: Heyas everyone! School's out for four days! So I'm happy. Anyways, time for the first official chapter of the second official day of Fourteen Days. Yes, it has taken me six chapters to get to day two…so start doing the math for how long it's gonna take for the rest of the days to be over O.o. Well, nothing much to say…we finally get to see Priscilla and Karel…together…in a room… It's gonna be fun. Well, enjoy, and I don't own FE.

* * *

Midnight Mayhem

Charlie kept his poker face up as he pushed his now mountainous stack of chips into the pot.

"All in…" He said coolly.

The other players, or whoever was left after Charlie took half of them out on his first lucky hand, blanched and all folded. Charlie smiled as he collected his winnings and shuffled the cards.

The poker game was an interesting one; Charlie had managed to get two sevens and a two in the flop on his first hand to take out both Lulu and Brian, who had matched his all in. Since then, he slowly took out players one by one, until now; only Samantha, Kiyoko and Kate were still alive in the game.

Kiyoko didn't like how her first little plan had backfired, and now with Charlie firmly in the lead, it was only a matter of time before he cleaned out. The general rule was whoever cleaned out got five hundred gold from each player, and Kiyoko did not want to part with her pocky money, even though she could get free pocky anyway.

Just then, Jessica, who had died on the third hand, sat up. "Someone's coming down." She said.

The poker players, along with Dias, who still had his sleeping girlfriend clinging onto his neck, looked towards the stairs where some faint footsteps were getting louder and louder.

Three figures emerged from the stairs, all holding their heads and walking in a dazed sort of manner. It was the boarder guards, up from their alcohol induced sleep and walking around with a headache the size of the Nabata Desert.

"Ugh…" Lee groaned as he and his compatriots trudged into the lobby and nearly walked into the poker game. "What did you guys do to us?"

"I feel like there's a tap-dancing wyvern in my head." Sharn commented dragging an empty chair to the circle where the poker game was.

"You said it…" Aeros groaned.

"Well, it's not really my fault." Charlie said throwing in some chips to get the new game started. "You guys were the ones who drank enough alcohol to poison half of Elibe."

"Hey, I only did it for your pregnant sister!" Lee snapped before doubling over in pain as something nearly knocked the wind out of him. "The hell was that?"

"Maybe just some reaction to some of the booze you drank." Charlie said throwing a warning glance to Kiyoko. The young assassin girl was quite adept at hitting someone without anyone knowing that she did it.

"Maybe…" Lee said.

"Do you guys want some antidote to the alcohol?" Brian asked calmly.

"Is there any?" Sharn asked.

"Of course!" Brian said producing a small bottle. "But it'll cost ya. This stuff is hard to make."

"How much…" Aeros asked.

"Fifty gold." Brian said.

"Ugh…fine" Lee said digging into his pocket for a fifty gold piece. His compatriots did the same. "Give us the doses."

Brian hurriedly stuffed the gold pieces into his robes and produced three bottles of the antidote, handing it over to Lee, Sharn and Aeros. The three boarder guards drank the draught and waited a while for their vision to clear. Few minutes later, after Charlie had eliminated Samantha with another full house, the trio was feeling much better.

"Wow, that stuff works." Sharn said.

"Yep…" Lee agreed. "It does."

The boarder guards hung around and watched as Charlie continued to eliminate players. A few hands later, Kiyoko and Kate's chip stacks were gone and Charlie began to collect his winnings from his beaten opponents.

"So…" Charlie said as he counted up his gold. "You three need something?"

"Oh, yeah." Lee said. "Remember when I said that there were two items of business I was here for?"

"Yeah…" Charlie said. "I remember now…we never got to the second item."

"Yes." Sharn said. "Well, we got side tracked.

"Obviously." Kiyoko muttered.

"Well, anyways." Lee said. "This would probably be best for the defense force of this town to hear."

"We're all present." Charlie said. "Well, Dias, wake Sonia."

Dias nodded and lightly shook the sleeping girl in his arms until she woke. Sonia sat up in Dias' lap, looked around and blinked a few times. "What's going on?"

"Our boarder guard buddies have something to tell us." Charlie said.

"Oh…" Sonia said sliding off Dias' lap and cuddling into his side. "What is it?"

"Well, who are the defense force members?" Lee asked first.

Charlie, Kiyoko, Brian, Sonia, Fae, Lulu and Kate all raised their hands.

"Wow, young security force." Lee commented.

"This town kills old people pretty fast." Charlie commented grimly. "So what did you need to talk to us for?"

"Well." Lee said. "We have reports of heightened bandit activities around here."

"Two nights ago, a small village near the base of the mountains got sacked." Sharn continued.

"And all stats point to here as the next target for these bandits." Aeros finished.

"I see…" Charlie said. "When do you think they'll attack?"

"Our best guess is today at dawn." Lee said.

"Well, we'll meet up with them then." Brian said.

"I'll have the army be on stand-by incase you need it." Jessica said.

"And we'll help." Pent said. Louise, Canas and Dorcas nodded in agreement.

"And we will be there too." Lee said. "So there's no reason for worry, but we at least warned you."

"We appreciate it." Sonia said. "By the way, what bandits are these anyways?"

"Your old buddies." Lee said with a twisted smile. "The Mountain Guardian Gang."

"Them again?" Sonia groaned. "I thought we took out their leader."

"Yeah…but they found a new guy." Sharn said. "And if the reports are correct, this new guy is good."

"IF the reports are right." Lee said.

"Well, whatever…" Charlie said. "We'll see how they are when it gets to it."

Suddenly, the people gathered downstairs began to hear noises from the second floor.

"They're up." Jessica noted quietly. "Deal the cards Charlie, pretend we're playing something."

One floor up, hung over people were indeed up and about. A few were just lying in bed, waiting for the relentless lure of sleep to overtake their bodies. Others however, did not, and could not stand pain.

Serra was one of those who could not stand pain. She thrashed about the room, knocking over dressers, mirrors, unlit staves, anything that stood in her way. Her roommate Kent wanted to just sleep the pain away, but with Serra treading on his stomach every two seconds, he found it quite hard to find peace.

"Serra, just go to bed." Kent said sleepily. "The pain will go away."

"NO!" Serra screeched stepping over Kent again. "I WANT THE PAIN TO GO AWAY NOW!"

"It won't." Kent said. "It's a hangover, it'll go away soon, just go to bed."

"I want it to go away!" Serra whined. She jumped into bed and began to shake Kent. "MAKE IT GO AWAY KENT!"

"AHHH!" Kent said getting a rude awakening. "CALM DOWN SERRA!"

Serra was surprised at Kent's volume and stopped shaking him, but she was still very fidgety. She looked at Kent with huge puppy dog eyes.

"Please…" Serra begged. "It hurts so bad!"

Kent sighed. "Fine…" He said rolling out of bed and putting on a robe. "Lets go see if Jessica's up."

"YAY!" Serra squeaked following the paladin out the door. The pair went to where the tactician's room and knocked a few times. Some time passed and nobody answered the door, but more headaching people had gathered.

Merlinus and Marcus had lined up behind Kent and Serra waiting for Jessica to see if she could do anything about headaches, as had Oswin, Rath, Geitz and Hawkeye. For Geitz and Hawkeye, their roommates were too immobilized to get out so they carried a cup in case there was some medicine they could bring back. Everyone else seemed to be sleeping it off.

More time passed and Serra got restless. She knocked a few more times on the door and considered having some of the heavier guys break the door down. Kent decided to step in before Serra destroys anything.

"Umm, maybe she's downstairs." Kent suggested restraining Serra from prodding Oswin to become a ram. "Let's go check there."

The small group headed down the stairs, and sure enough they saw Jessica, along with Canas, Dorcas, Pent, Louise and some of the Silent Springs people along with the three boarder guards. They were playing cards it seemed.

"Hey guys." Jessica said looking up from her cards. "What's up?"

"Serra's got the Mt. Lycia of all hangovers." Kent said. "Got anything to cure her?"

Jessica shook her head. "Nope, but Brian does."

The priest nonchalantly looked up from his hand. "It'll cost you fifty gold a pop though."

Kent grudgingly dug out two fifty gold pieces and handed it to Brian, who drew out two more bottles of potion from his seemingly bottomless pit of a inside pocket and handed it to Kent. The paladin gave a bottle to Serra and the pair drank the potion, thanked the bishop and went back upstairs.

The others who accompanied Serra and Kent downstairs followed suit and pretty soon, everyone was back upstairs and Brian had a nice pocket of gold.

"You make quite a lucrative business my friend." Charlie said.

"It's more lucrative than you think." Brian said. "Some of these are five hundred pieces. They can't tell the difference in their drunken state."

"Sweet." Kiyoko said. "I should try that more often."

"Sell potions?" Charlie asked.

"No, drug my victims!" Kiyoko squealed. Charlie slapped a hand to his forehead and everyone shared a good laugh as they continued their fake card game and proceeded to listen for more noises upstairs.

Back upstairs, most of the rooms were quiet. Lowen and Nino were too knocked out to move, the people who got potions were sound asleep, and Matthew and Jaffar were toughing it out. Hector and Vaida, both heavy drinkers, didn't even get much of a buzz from their amount and were sleeping in their ripped up beds peacefully.

But not everyone was so peaceful. Wil had a splitting headache and the fact that Farina is confusing him for a teddy bear was not helping.

"Farina…" Wil said poking the Pegasus sister. "Stop it…"

"Mmm…five more minutes mommy…" Farina mumbled in her sleep. "I don't feel so good…can I stay home today?"

"Farina…I am not your mother." Wil said. "If I were, I'd probably commit suicide."

"Can I have a cookie mommy?" Farina asked dreamily.

"What? I don't have a cookie." Wil said exasperated. "And I am NOT your mommy."

"Ohh, shiny gold! Gimme!" Farina squealed.

"Farina…" Wil said. "You already TOOK all my gold."

"Hold me mommy!" Farina whined clinging onto Wil.

Wil finally figured out that Farina was dreaming, so he gave up and let the girl hold him. He looked down and brushed a strand of blue hair from her face.

'She looks kinda cute.' Wil thought before mentally slapping himself for thinking like that.

Two doors, Fiora and Dart were both asleep, thrashing about in their nightmares. Two doors on the other side, Karel and Priscilla were having a staring contest, only both had splitting headaches, and Priscilla was staring in fear while Karel was more or less glaring.

Karel had a small knife he swiped from the restaurant out. He glared at Priscilla with narrowed eyes.

"You die tonight." He whispered ominously. "I swear it."

Priscilla shivered. "Please don't Mr. Karel. I'm allergic to death."

"And is that why you became a healer?" Karel asked rhetorically raising an eyebrow. "I'll make you a deal…if I fall asleep before you do, you live."

"But…I'm so tired." Priscilla said. "Please…spare me."

"Only if I sleep first." Karel said. "If I do…then I'll kill you tomorrow night."

"Can't we all just…get along?" Priscilla asked.

"Get along…I have no clue what that means." Karel said.

"You know…be friendly." Priscilla said.

"I do not understand the concept of 'friendship' either." Karel said. "I exist only to kill."

"It must be a bleak existence." Priscilla said.

"It has its ups and downs." Karel shrugged and the two fell into silence, with Priscilla trying with all her might to stay awake.

Few doors down, Florina was awake with the biggest headache of her life, but she could not sleep because she was in the same bed with a man. And of all the men in the army, it had to be Sain. Florina just KNEW that if she fell asleep, Sain would take advantage of her.

On the contrary, Sain wished Florina would stop fidgeting so he could actually sleep, but his sense of honor forced him to be polite, although he did lose his flowery speech.

"Florina." Sain said. "Could you please calm down and try to get some rest?"

"Eek!" Florina squeaked at the sound of Sain's voice. "Don't touch me!"

The effect of her words was instantaneous. The minute she finished, Lyn broke down the already weak hinges on the door to Sain and Florina's room and stormed in like a tornado, her hangover seemingly having no effect on her whatsoever.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH FLORINA!" Lyn stormed.

Sain groaned and sat up. He looked blankly into Lyn's eyes and noted with amusement that a very weak looking Heath was futilly trying to restrain Lyn.

"I didn't touch her." Sain said. "Now could you get the freak outta here before I call in the police?"

"Wha…!" Lyn was taken aback by Sain's bluntness and lack of flowery language. Sain took her momentary silence to speak again.

"Well? Do you want to take Florina with you?" Sain asked. "Jessica will be pissed because we ruined her precious rooming crap, but hey, if it'll give me and poor Heath over there some sleep, why not?"

"Well…I was just ass-" Lyn started, very surprised now.

"What? That I was raping your precious mouse of a friend here?" Sain said. "The one who has no backbone whatsoever?"

"How dar-" Lyn started.

"Oh boo hoo." Sain interrupted. "Cry me a river, now get out and stay out so I can sleep."

With that the paladin turned around and went under the covers.

Lyn, Florina and Heath were tongue-tied. For one, they never knew Sain could talk like that, and secondly, they have never seen Sain refuse the company of a lovely girl. Florina looked apologetically at Lyn.

"I'll stay here." Florina said. "He didn't touch me…I just freaked out."

"It's okay Florina." Lyn said. "You sure?"

"Yeah…" Florina said. "I have to face me fears somehow…"

"Well…okay." Lyn said. She and Heath then walked out and jury rigged the door to close. Once outside, Lyn plopped down on the ground outside of Florina and Sain's room. Heath groaned.

"What now Lady Lyndis?" Heath asked.

"Call me Lyn, and I just don't feel safe." Lyn said.

"Don't worry about it." Heath said. "Lady Florina will be fine."

"I just want to make sure." Lyn said. "You go ahead."

"Okay…shall I bring you a blanket La-…err Lyn?" Heat asked.

"I'm fine." Lyn said.

"If you say so." Heath said walking back into the room he and Lyn shared.

Half an hour later, Lyn was turning blue from the cold. She shivered and her teeth clattered together as she did.

"Cold…" Lyn muttered. She continued to listen for any disturbing sounds inside of Sain and Florina's room, but she found she couldn't concentrate that well. The cold was dulling all her senses.

Suddenly, she felt a blanket drape around her cold body. She looked back and saw Heath standing there.

"Wh-what are yo-you doing?" Lyn stuttered.

"Come on…" Heath said. "They're asleep…stop worrying before you die of frostbite."

"…I…" Lyn started but she couldn't finish. She let Heath pick her up and carry her back into their room. The wyvern lord placed her onto the bed and wrapped her tightly in the blankets before going to a little makeshift bed he made on the ground. Lyn looked at him sleeping on the uncomfortable floor with minimal blankets. She began to feel guilty. Silently, she rolled out of bed and went to Heath, wrapping the blankets around the two of them and then cuddling into his back.

Heath suddenly tensed when he felt Lyn's arms snake around him.

"Ahh…La- Lyn…" He gasped. "What…are you doing?"

"Shh…" Lyn said holding him tighter. "You looked cold…"

"I was fine." Heath said. "You're the one who needs warmth."

"Then hold me." Lyn said.

Heath was dumbfounded. He turned around and wrapped his arms around Lyn. He looked down into her eyes and felt his breath go out of him. Lyn smiled. She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Thanks…" Lyn said. "I would've froze out there if it weren't for you."

Heath blushed and mumbled something incoherent. The two then lay there, wrapped in each other's arms and enough blankets to shelter the Lycian Third Archer Brigade, falling into a deep slumber.

Back in Karel and Priscilla's room, the troubadour strained to keep her eyes open while Karel seemingly wasn't even tired, keeping a very sharp eye on the dozing girl. As fatigue overtook Priscilla, she knew it was her end. She had tried valiantly, but in the end, it was no use. Her thoughts lingered on her brother, as her eyelids, no longer able to stay open, fluttered to a close.

Then suddenly, the door to her room flew open and two pieces of metal clashed and flew into the walls. Priscilla's adrenaline kicked in and she forced her eyes open. She saw her brother Raven standing between her and her would be killer. Two dinner knives were stuck into one of the walls. In the open doorway, a girl Priscilla know to be Karla was standing there.

"Don't hurt my brother!" Karla screeched. "Just take your woman and go!"

"I won't hurt your brother." Raven growled. "If he doesn't kill my sister!"

"You what!" Karel and Karla said in unison.

"You mean…you're not in love wi-…" Karla said bewildered.

"No." Raven said. "Well, not in that sense at least."

"I see." Karla said. Priscilla suppressed a smile when she heard the slight relief in the female swordmaster's voice.

"Lord Brother…" Priscilla spoke out. "You…"

"They won't talk." Raven said. "They're Sacaens…very prideful…they won't resort to reputation smearing."

"How inspective of you." Karel growled. "Very well…your secret is safe with me…but your sister attacked me multiple times. It is only right she gives her life for it."

"Look at it this way." Raven said. "I didn't try to kill YOUR sister when she attacks me. Show a little compassion."

"Compassion…what is that?" Karel asked.

"A human emotion." Raven said. "Maybe you could try to learn humanity by spending time with my sister."

"Learn…humanity?" Karel said confused.

"There is more to life than killing." Raven said. "It took me a while to realize that.."

"More…than killing…" Karel repeated. "It doesn't seem possible."

"Hard to believe." Raven said. "But it's true. So, lay off my sister…and maybe you'll learn something from her."

Raven then helped Priscilla up and checked her for injuries. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left for his room. Karla stood in the door way for a second making sure her brother was okay. She left when Karel waved her off, closing the door behind her.

Karel looked at Priscilla.

"Perhaps you can teach me about humanity." Karel said.

"Will you spare my life then?" Priscilla asked.

"I will…" Karel said. "IF you teach me correctly."

Priscilla nodded. "Don't worry... I will."

* * *

Charlie: Wow…that wasn't expected. Karla was jealous of Priscilla! Don't ask…I make this up as I go…meaning I only have a basic plot when I start this…the details just work themselves out. It works pretty well I think. Oh well, hope that was enjoyable, please leave a review if you can. I love you all!**Reviewer Corner n.n**

Nightmare3: O.o Please don't kiss me…I'm a guy who's attracted to a girl right now, so you no kiss me, and I no hug you. Anyways, you'll stick around until day four…then you'll probably pop up another few days later. It'll be fun. And Karel…yes…now you know why…you must take humanity lessons with Priscilla…which means no killing.

Draknal: You have no idea…if I pulled that stunt with the REAL Kiyoko…she'd probably kill me on the spot. Anyways, she's not really pregnant, I just lied to get outta draft. And you know I shall never stop with the twists! MUAHAHAHA!

Inferno-Hero: You and your mage-y twin both get to do it.

Random Person: Well, it was a spur of the moment idea, putting Robert E. Lee in. Vaida would look…well, now, I don't want to give anything away, so we'll just have to see.

RWT: Lee will have…a VERY fun part in day three especially so don't worry about it. And trust me…if you know Kate and Kiyoko…a Salon can destroy the world.

Samantha: Well…I think the age swap would be weird…but maybe we can make the demon twelve years old? I dunno, just thoughts juggling around. And I don't mind…everyone else seems to call me that anyways. You like my revised Pen Name?

Springleburt: Kiyoko's not REALLY pregnant, I'm just lying to get outta military service. And Pocky is a Japanese snack that is like a cracker stick covered in chocolate. It's good.

DragonLady626: Yeah, well, you know in FE you either get Harken or Karel…I got Karel so no Harken. Priscilla's predicament…is well…it still sucks, but not as much, and if you're scared about the parings now…wait 'till I make Vaida pretty.

Kiyoko-Chan: Yes, infinity plus one favors. I can't really imagine Vaida pretty either…it's just something I just don't think about. And you can stab me remember? I pretend to be dead when I bash Matthew. And I did another calculation…it's gonna exceed 80…or maybe even 90. Hehe, I'll update fast though!

Aminec: Well, Delphi gets to watch some funny scenes so it's all good. There are a lot of people who aren't sane in Silent Springs… Kiyoko's just one of twenty-six.

KevinC: Yep, most…or basically all of the staff gets a mention. Your library is fatal to those who don't know what they're doing…so naturally, I'll be sending in Matty some time in the future. As for the pregnancy…lets just hope the soldiers forget. And if you can imagine Vaida as "Drop Dead Gorgeous," then you'll know what K/K will do to her.

Geb: Eheh…I don't MIND Yaoi…I just can't write it…it's too weird for me. I'm glad you like this though.

Ivanfanatic: No baby Kate…sowry… besides, she's only fourteen.

AraminRVN: Thanks, I hope your first fic goes well. I was desperate with the fourty and under thing…after all…I really didn't expect so many applications for jobs. And I do NOT watch too much Anime…wait…nvm…I do. Hehe…it's a weakness.

Blob: Heh, wow, thanks. Just make sure your teachers don't get mad at me.

Mierin Eronaile: Meh, I always sucked with verb tenses…it's one of my low points on English. The Death to Rebecca club is just…run by someone with half a brain and too much energy. It was BOUND to fail like that. Robert E. Lee…well…it was a spur of the moment thing again, and I'm sure Kiyoko would very much torture me with her remaining nine favors (The first one worked well for me n.n). Anyways, I'll keep your character traits in mind.

Wow…that took a long time to write. Anyways, for the next chapter, I'll have a better Reviewer Appreciation Gift out for all my loyal readers and reviewers…but just let me warn you…I write better than I draw…so it won't be high quality…but I just wanted to get something to you guys. Anyways, I love yas all. Keep reading and reviewing!

P.S. Like my new penname guys?


	8. Disregarding Protocol

Charlie: Hello y'all. I have a really lame reviewer appreciation gift on my website…the link is in my profile along with a few clarifications. I must stress the fact that I can't draw for beans…and it's also reflected in my cruddy handwriting. Sorry! But I just wanted to show how much I appreciate all your support. Anyways, onto chapter 8. I shall be introducing a new character in this chapter (the bandit leader). Well, I hope you'll continue to enjoy this.

I don't own FE. (Really…do I HAVE to say that?)

* * *

Disregarding Protocol

A few hours past midnight, everyone was basically asleep. All the hung over members of Eliwood's Army were stones in their beds while the conspirators in the lobby had fallen asleep as well.

At daybreak, the first rays of the sun began to seep through the window and managed to hit Charlie square in the face. The young swordmaster began to stir. He sleepily opened his eyes and lifted his hands to rub them clear; only to find that his right arm was pinned down. He looked towards his right and suddenly remembered that everyone had fallen asleep in the inn. He looked around and chuckled lightly; it was a sad sight.

Next to him, Kiyoko had taken to liberty to use him as a pillow and Alan as a footrest. The archer was sleeping in a very VERY uncomfortable position. Across from them, Pent and Louise were an indiscernible lump while Canas and Dorcas were sprawled on the ground snoring. To the right of Charlie's couch was another couch where Jessica was sleeping in. Around Jessica's couch, the three boarder guards were snoring away pretty loudly.

Charlie looked over to his left and found Sonia and Dias cuddled together on the ground with Sonia's sisters sleeping back against back a few feet away from them. A little over, two separate lumps that were Brian and Samantha lay on another couch. Kate was on the ground around them sleeping peacefully.

Charlie laughed again at the rather pitiful scene in front of him and then he freed his arm from Kiyoko's grasp to let her sleep more comfortably against his side. He sat back and waited, glad for the peace and quiet. It had only been a day since his unexpected guests had arrived and he was already running ragged. He chuckled as he imagined how George and Glenn would look once they found out that he wasn't going to be doing any homework anytime soon.

Just as he was about to doze off again, he heard a distant rumble. He looked at the window, wondering if the bandits had arrived. Soon, the rumbling got louder and everyone in the lobby was awake.

"What's that?" Kiyoko asked sleepily.

"No clue." Charlie said. "It might be our bandit friends."

"It probably is." Lee said. "Lets go check it out?"

"Sure." Charlie said. He turned towards Jessica and her people. "You five, stay inside and keep your people inside. This is a small place and we can't have your army running amok."

"Goit." Jessica said quickly and she ran upstairs followed by Pent, Louise, Bartre and Canas.

The Silent Springs residents and the three boarder guards retrieved their weapons and walked into the morning sunlight and walked over to the front entrance to the small town. Silent Springs was perched on a ledge, with a rather steep climb to the entrance. From the entrance, an observer could see for miles. As the group stood at the entrance, they saw a group of people slowly heading up the mountains with a few hand drawn carts that were making a loud clamoring sound.

"It's them all right." Lee said.

"They don't seem to be interested in hiding their presence." Brian muttered covering his ears to ward off the loud noise of the bandit's carts.

"Why should they?" Sharn said. "They're probably the most feared bandit group in the area now, they don't need to worry much."

"Point." Brian said. "So what do we do?"

"Well…" Charlie said. "We let them come to us."

"Obviously." Brian said. "But we need to keep the villagers safe."

"Yeah." Charlie said, then he turned towards Kiyoko. "Kiyo, you go into the village, warn everyone, have people keep the children safe, and find as much help as you can okay?"

Kiyoko nodded and disappeared in a flash.

"You sure she can fight?" Lee asked. "I mean, with her pregnancy and all."

"A little exercise is good for her." Charlie lied. "Now come on, Alan, get inside with Samantha and keep our guests safe. Take pot shots from the second floor balcony if you want."

"But I wanna fight." Alan said.

"Alan, this is different from sparing, those bastards won't hesitate to kill you." Charlie said. "Besides, you get to snipe."

"Aww, fine." Alan said and he and Samantha trudged into the inn and barricaded the door.

"Okay, well, all we can do is wait for reinforcements and the bandits to arrive." Charlie said.

The small fighting force then spread out a bit and waited. A while later, a druid and two assassins teleported in.

"Kiyoko!" Charlie said going forward. "How'd it go?"

"Glenn, George, Aminec and Fureal are guarding the children." Kiyoko reported. "They're making sure everyone is safe as long as we don't let too many of them get past."

"Good, and I assume Kevin and Erimus here are gonna help." Charlie said pointing out the druid and the second assassin.

"Yep." Kevin said. "I haven't worked out my flux books in a while."

"Same here." Erimus said. "Except I'm using daggers of course."

"Yeah, well, now we wait." Charlie said.

And the small task force spread out again, and waited.

Inside the inn, the clamoring of the bandits' carts had woken everyone. They were all gathered around Jessica in the lobby.

"What's going on Jessica?" Hector demanded.

"A bandit raid." Jessica said calmly. "Don't worry about it, our hosts have it under control."

"Shouldn't we be out there helping them?" Eliwood asked.

"Yes, but it's a Silent Springs policy that they don't let guests fight." Jessica said. "I've decided to honor that."

"But look." Lyn said pointing out the window. "There can't be more than ten of them out there. We have to go help."

"Dear St. Elimine, do you think I didn't TRY!" Jessica said losing her patience. "But right now, if I let you guys into the arms storage and let you guys out, we would be insulting these people's fighting skills, I don't want to do that."

"But…" Lyn continued.

"Lyn, just shut up." Jessica hissed.

Suddenly, Alan and Samantha ran in. The army shifted their attention to the two newcomers.

"What's going on out there?" Matthew asked.

"The bandits are coming." Alan said. "Just stay inside, they have it under control."

"There is a balcony on the second floor if you guys want to watch…or throw stones." Samantha suggested.

"Well, then what are we waiting for?" Hector roared. "TO THE SECOND FLOOR!"

The entire army then surged up the stairs followed by Jessica and Alan. Matthew lingered behind and waited for Samantha.

"You okay?" He asked.

Samantha nodded. "I'm fine…I still haven't apologized for almost killing you."

"It's okay." Matthew smiled. "Don't worry about it."

Samantha blushed a little as Matthew took her hand and led her up the stairs. Inside her head, the demon began to react.

'Ugh…gross.' The demon hissed. 'You're in love aren't you?'

'No!' Samantha thought back. 'I'm just being polite after you almost killed him.'

'Well, it's gross.' The demon growled. 'Stop holding his hand, it's disturbing.'

'Why?' Samantha asked.

'Because everything YOU do I feel too.' The demon snapped. 'I happen to be a guy.'

'You are!' Samantha thought to the demon. 'I always assumed you were a girl because you had my voice.'

'I can only use YOUR vocal cords?' The demon suggested sarcastically. 'Geez… you don't know anything about me.'

'But…bu…' Samantha argued. 'You're a demon!'

'SO!" The demon snapped. 'Demons have feeling too you know! I'm only twelve years old! I'm practically a baby!'

'…You're quite the evil genius for a baby.' Samantha mused.

'Well…yes, that is true.' The demon agreed. 'But that's not even the point! For all these years we've been together, and you don't know anything about me! You probably don't even know my first name!'

'Of course I do!' Samantha snapped. 'It's…it's…uhh….' She trailed off.

'Stewert? Stewie! SEE YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!' The demon screeched before going into a series of sobs inside her mind.

'Aww…I'm sorry.' Samantha comforted, wondering why she was even having this rather inane conversation with the entity that was possessing her.

'Hyeah…right…' The demon snorted. 'Just leave me alone.'

"Wow…" Samantha thought out loud. "Never knew demons were so emotional."

"Excuse me?" Matthew asked hearing this.

"Huh!" Samantha snapped out of her reverie. "On nothing." Samantha blushed as she looked up at Matthew and felt him gently but firmly grasping her hand. 'He is cute…' Samantha thought.

'Blah…' Stewie snorted before going silent.

"Okay…" Matthew said as the two went onto the massive second floor balcony where everyone was watching the impending battle down below.

In the courtyard, the bandit group had now arrived at Silent Springs. Charlie scanned the group, looking for a tough character that was supposedly the great new leader of this gang, but he saw no one who fit the match. In addition, he was getting puzzled. The raiders below looked nothing like your traditional bandits, muscular, burly, and ugly. Everyone in the group all wore fancy suits and ties with dress shoes and some even sported dresses. Just as he wondered if they had the wrong people; he heard a female voice call out.

"Hello! Whoever's in charge here? Can you come out?"

Charlie looked puzzled and wondered if it was a trap. He gripped his killing edge and slowly walked out.

"I'm the innkeeper of this town, what do you want?" Charlie said.

"I am Kitty." A girl up front said. "I am the new leader of the Mountain Guardians. Now umm…this is a raid?"

"Huh! Whoa whoa whoa." Charlie said flailing his arms. "Back up…YOU'RE the leader?"

"I guess…" Kitty said. "Why?"

"Oh man…" Charlie said slapping his forehead. He gestured for the other hidden Silent Springs defenders to come out. "Lee…get over here." Charlie said once the boarder guard came out. "THIS is the scary new bloody leader of the Mountain Guardians?"

Lee looked at Kitty and shrugged. "Guess the reports were wrong."

"Umm…excuse me…" Kitty said. "But I would very much like to get started with the raid. You see, we're behind schedule and…"

"You there…" Charlie said pointing at Kitty. "I'm not done yet, so stay there and shut up."

Kitty flinched and shut her mouth while Charlie turned back towards Lee.

"How did they wipe out all those towns again?" Charlie asked.

"Well, the reports say 'swiftly,' but there was an endnote stating that none of the towns had any defense." Lee said sheepishly.

"Well, you conveniently left that part out didn't you?" Charlie said glaring at the man.

"Well…" Lee said searching for an excuse. "Uhh… yes…"

"Elimine…" Charlie muttered.

"Excuse me?" Kitty said again. "Are you done yet?"

"Huh?" Charlie remembered the bandit leader. "Oh yes I'm done."

"So…can I begin the raid?" Kitty asked.

Charlie stared at the bandit leader. "You're new at this aren't you?"

"Well…yes." Kitty said. "I'm not quite sure how it goes, but the other towns didn't have defenders."

"Well, would you like a crash course on bandit raids?" Charlie offered.

"Yes please." Kitty said.

"Okay, first lesson." Charlie said. "Never say please and thank you and pardon me and crap like that."

"Why? It isn't polite to not say those." Kitty said.

"Well…" Kiyoko cut in. "You're bandits, you're not supposed to be polite."

"Oh…" Kitty said. "I wasn't aware of that."

"I bet you weren't…" Charlie muttered. "Second thing, you don't just waltz into a town and go 'Okay, I'm gonna raid your town now.' That is stupid and highly against protocol."

"You mean there's a protocol for bandit raids?" Kitty asked.

"Yes, and you've broken nearly every single one of them." Charlie said. "Bandit leaders are not girls, you don't attack during dawn but at twilight or midnight, you don't make noise until AFTER you attack the town, etc."

"Oh…I never knew it was so complicated." Kitty said.

"It is." Lee cut in.

"So…how do you normally raid a town?" Kitty asked.

"Well…." Aeros said. "Normally, you lead your men silently into this town, looking all ugly and mean of course."

"Yeah." Charlie said. "I mean, you guys made enough noise to wake up a drunken Pegasus."

"Plus I wouldn't exactly say you guys are dressed for a raid." Lee noted. "You should lose the ties and the suits, and you DEFINITELY want to lose that frock." Lee pointed to the prom dress Kitty was wearing.

"Okay…we'll lose the suits and the frocks." Kitty said. "But these carts hold our weapons."

"Roland didn't need a cart to carry his weapons." Sharn said. "And neither do you."

"But our weapons are heavy!" Kitty complained.

"So? Roland had the freaking Durandal! That thing's like the size of an obese wyvern on crack!" Sharn said.

"Right." Aeros continued. "After you attack the town, you proceed to do damage and steal the women."

"But…I don't want to steal women…I'm already a girl." Kitty said.

"Yeah, you already broke one protocol doing that." Charlie said. "Lets not break any more."

"Okay…" Kitty said. "Then what?"

"Well, then we show up." Charlie said. "The defense force."

"That's when you give a lame line that's akin to 'Haha, you think you can stop me!'" Aeros said. "Then we fight."

"That sounds violent." Kitty said.

"Do you want to be a bandit or not?" Kiyoko asked.

Kitty nodded.

"Then shut up and listen up." Sharn said.

"Finally, we defeat you guys, take back our women and let you and your men go away, but while you're running away, you must turn back and say a corny one liner that means 'I'll be back.'" Aeros finished.

"And that's he raid." Charlie said. "So, go back down the mountain and lets do this again."

Kitty nodded and she and her group of bandits went off the mountains. The Silent Springs Defenders went back into their hiding spots.

From the balcony, Eliwood's army stared in shock.

"What…are they doing?" Hector asked. "Did ANYBODY know what just happened?"

"I heard…I saw…I didn't believe." Kent muttered.

"That was…weird." Eliwood said.

"Which part?" Jessica asked. "The fact that the bandits dressed better than a Lycian Court, or the fact that Charlie and the boarder guards just bawled them out on "Bandit Raid Ettiquette?"

"Probably both." Sain noted.

"Is everyone in this town as crazy as they are?" Vaida asked.

"Not really." Alan said. "But we're kinda sticklers on bandit raids."

"Meaning…?" Lyn asked.

"Meaning that last time a bandit tried to steal hot chocolate, the entire town beat him up, took away the chocolate and made him take alcohol, since bandit's don't drink alcohol." Samantha said.

"…I will NEVER understand this place." Hector said. "Crazy purists."

"Yep…" Alan agreed. "Charlie and Brian wrote the book on purism, which was edited by Kiyoko and Fae and published by Sonia and Lulu to be distributed by Kate. You're looking at the seven most stubborn people when it comes down to bandit raids."

General agreement was sounded on the balcony as everyone watched the bandits regroup and surge back silently up the mountains.

Kitty brought her group in, this time they were carrying their weapons. Remembering Aeros' lesson, Kitty ordered her men to start damaging posts around the town square.. They decided not to use fire since the melting snow could easily put it out or perhaps even start avalanches. Just as her men were about to take down the entrance frame, Charlie leapt out.

"Hold it!" He yelled grabbing one of the bandit's weapons.

"What is this?" He asked.

"A sword." Kitty replied.

"Good." Charlie said. "Now we have a problem."

"What's the problem?" Kitty asked.

"Bandit's don't use swords." Charlie said. "They use axes."

"But…swords are more refined." Kitty said.

"Well, tough cookies." Charlie said. "Do you have any axes?"

"Yes." Kitty said. "Bu-"

"Do you want to be a real bandit or not?" Charlie asked. "Now go back down and come back with axes."

Kitty sighed and led her men back down the slope. Charlie sighed and went back to her hiding spot with Kiyoko.

"Take three…" Kiyoko muttered.

On the balcony, the members of Eliwood's army were groaning.

"He got riled up over SWORDS!" Serra ranted. "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? JUST START FIGHTING!"

"Oh stop it." Kent said. "Bandits DO usually use axes…though I fail to see what the big fuss is."

"Right on." Sain said. "They should begin the battle so I can go save those lovely ladies."

"Sain…" Kent muttered warningly. He was surprised to see Lyn and Florina chuckling lightly, but he didn't know that they were glad Sain was back to normal.

"Ahh Kent." Sain said. "Which one do you think is more lovely? Timid Fae or young Kiyoko? Perhaps even Lulu with her sense of individuality."

"Sain…I hear Fae has an admirer and Kiyoko is too young for you." Kent said. "Lulu has a boyfriend as well."

"Well, that's a pity." Sain said. "They shall never know the pleasure that is Sain."

"Sain, the only pleasure girls ever get from you is when they smash your skull in.." Kent growled. "So hold your tongue. Our bandit friends are back."

Sain glanced down and sure enough, Kitty and her group were back, this time sporting the right equipment. The battle got under way.

The frame around the entrance as well as the benches and torch stave post in the town square were the first to go as the bandit force awkwardly hacked their way in. True to Aeros' teaching, one of the swifter bandits approached the inn, climbed to the second floor and kidnapped one of the girls.

The entire balcony was thrown into disarray as people unconsciously grabbed others. Erk found himself clinging onto Rebecca and Raven onto Karla. Even Karel found himself reaching for Priscilla before he caught his hand. Finally Matthew noticed that Samantha was no longer with him.

"They have Samantha!" Matthew cried.

Alan jumped up. "SAMMY!" He yelled as he took out a silver bow and scanned the bandit groups below. He found Samantha flailing in the arms of a fast moving bandit who looked like he would be more comfortable in a Lycian Country Club.

"BRIAN!" Alan yelled out. "THEY HAVE SAM!"

Immediately, the defense force sprang into action. They leapt from their hiding spots and downed a dozen bandits on the spot. Kitty and her surviving bandits looked at the defense force now in a staggered formation.

"Well, I see the cavalry has arrived." Kitty snarled. "But you're too late! Soon, your precious town will be burned to the ground and your women and gold will be ours!"

After the threatening speech, Kitty looked towards Aeros. "How was that?" She asked.

Aeros nodded at her and gave her a thumbs up. "Perfect."

"Cool." Kitty squealed silently.

"We won't let you do that!" Charlie said, continuing the raid in progress. "Prepare yourselves."

"Hah, what could such a small group do?" Kitty laugh.

"This." Charlie smiled evilly and the defense group sprang into action. Charlie, Dias, Lulu and Erimus charged their weapons pointed out at deadly angles. Sonia leapt onto a standing torch light post and shot out three arrows in rapid fire taking town three bandits. The magicians began casting spells and lightnings, fluxes and fireballs flew into the bandit group, causing general chaos and disarray. Kiyoko vanished again and again only to appear behind an unsuspecting bandit to backstab the poor raider. Pretty soon, Kitty and her group were whittled down from a strong force of nearly sixty to around thirty. From the balcony, Alan sniped bandits with deadly accuracy. Soon, Samantha was safely next to Brian and the entire second floor rose in a cheer.

"They're good." Hector said.

"Notice they don't waste their energy fighting EACH OTHER!" Jessica said emphasizing the last two words. Everyone else just looked up and whistled innocently.

"Blast." Kitty said. "They're too strong. We must use the secret weapon."

"What secret weapon?" Charlie asked overhearing as he parried an axe blow.

"This!" Kitty said producing a huge bag of pepper and spraying into onto the battlefield. Immediately, the defenders' eyes began to tear up and they began to sneeze.

"Dirty trick!" Charlie screamed.

"But very bandit-like." Sharn said between sneezes.

"Where did she put that pepper?" Kate asked between sneezes.

"Who cares! RUN AWAY!" Sonia said as the entire defense force along with Samantha ran to a pile of toppled torch stave posts that conveniently made a little bunker. They got behind it and listened as the bandits continued to tear up the rest of the town square.

"Crap…we're trapped." Charlie said. "We need something quick."

"You have that Fimbulvetr?" Fae asked.

"Or the Eclipse, we can at least scare them with the lights." Kevin said.

"My killing edges are out." Erimus said. "We need more."

"Yeah, but to get to the weapon stores we'll have to go past Kitty and her gang." Sonia said.

"Wait, we still have the Holy Hand Grenade." Charlie said.

"Oh yeah!" Brian said. "The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioque."

"Lets use that." Sonia said.

"Lemme throw it!" Kiyoko said.

"Okay…Brian, the Holy Hand Grenade if you will?" Charlie asked.

Brian said something to Samantha who quickly produced a round ball with a cross and a pin on top. Brian took the grenade from Samantha and gave it to Kiyoko.

Kiyoko examined the grenade and looked at Brian. "How do you use it?"

"Bring forth the book or armaments." Brian said in a regal voice.

"You can cut the voice." Charlie muttered.

Samantha gave Brian a huge book and the priest began to read out of it using his same regal voice.

"…And St. Elimine said, 'I bestow unto you the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioque, which can be used to blow thy enemies to tiny pieces."

"That's nice." Charlie said. "Now cut the voice and tell us how to use it."

Brian flipped a few pages and continued in his regal voice. "To useth thy Holy Hand Grenade, first pulleth the pin from they hand grenade. Then thou shall counteth to three, no more no less. Three is the number thou shall count to and three is the number at which thou shall stop at. Thou shall NOT count to four, and thou shall not count to two unless it immediately precedes the number three. The number five is right out! Once thou reach the number three, lobbeth thy hand grenade towards thy enemies."

"Right…" Charlie said. "Remind me to cut your vocal cords one day. Hit it Kiyo."

Kiyoko pulled the pin from the grenade and began counting. "One, two, five."

"Three Kiyo." Dias corrected, being the teacher.

"Err…right." Kiyoko said and lobbed the grenade. The defense force then peeked over the barricade to watch the effects. The grenade attracted a lot of attention, being a rather ornate ball. Numerous bandits gathered around it poking and prodding it. The grenade never went off.

"Ahh great…" Brian said in his normal voice. "Why'd you say FIVE Kiyo!"

"I'm sorry!" Kiyoko squeaked, but then, a deafening roar was heard throughout the mountains as the grenade went off, raining blood and body parts onto anyone within ten feet of the explosion.

"Ugh! OH GOD!" Sonia screeched.

"It's in my clothes!" Lulu yelled.

"My hair!" Samantha cried.

"My cape!" Kiyoko screeched.

"My scratches!" Kate cried.

"It's just a little blood." Erimus said brushing gunk off himself. "Don't worry about it."

"They're girls." Kevin commented. "Just help get the crap off them before our ears begin to bleed."

"And no inappropriate touching Charlie." Brian warned as the rest of the guys snickered.

"For the love of St. Elimine would you shut up about that!" Charlie said exasperated at the fact that everyone still thought he was a pervert.

The girls continued to screech until all the guys hiding with them helped clean off all the gunk. Only then did the girls stop and the defense force emerged. The explosion had taken away nearly all of Kitty's force, now down to Kitty herself and less then ten bandits. Kitty sneered at Charlie. "You may have one this time, but I'll BE BACK!" With that, she turned and led her surviving members down the mountain. Just as they were leaving, the sun finally completely rose over Silent Springs.

"Well, we managed to win before breakfast." Charlie said. He looked around at the bloody mess. "But we'll have to clean up."

"No need." Fae said and she began to cast fire into the snow, which effectively melted the top layer. Everyone watched as the water cleared away most of the blood and body parts that were floating around, leaving only the big bodies that needed to be moved.

"Well…that worked well." Charlie said. "Come on, let's go inside for breakfast first. We'll deal with the bodies later."

"I call looting rights." Kiyoko squealed.

"You're the only one who actually wants to search a dead body for loot Kiyo." Sonia laughed. Kiyoko just grinned as the weary fighters walked back towards the inn, looking forward to a good breakfast and the start of a new event filled day.

* * *

Charlie: Two chapters and I haven't even passed breakfast in day two… yeah, this is gonna be long. Anyways, this is also my satirical work on the damn purists who think dubbed anime and remixes and reworked plays are the root of all evils and should be eradicated to preserve world peace. Obviously…all they ever do is make things more complicated, less efficient, and piss people off in the process. So yep, next chapter will feature the K/K Beauty Salon that's been so hyped about. Oh and about the Holy Hand Grenade…I stole it from Monty Python, and since they had it during Arthur's time, I see no reason why it shouldn't exist during FE time.**Reviewer Corner n.n**

Lafia: Vaida's still coming up. Anyways, the pairings are all random…you can probably guess most of them already. KarlaxRaven and KarelxPriscilla will get more interesting as it goes, don't worry, it will. And Matthew and Jaffar will have some interesting details later (don't worry, it's not Yaoi).

RWT: Yes… but trust me…if you ever get hung over, it does feel that way (not that I know from experience or anything –cough cough-). Anyways, I don't think Priscilla's survival chances raised any more…her life span just elongated, because teaching Karel how to be human…is like…hard. REALLY hard. Anyways, Lee's big part will come in day three, this isn't it yet, you guys sorta just hang around in day two.

Random Person: Who would, I doubt a sober Serra wouldn't want to be in the same room with her drunken counterpart. The pairings are mostly by room, but not all (no Yaoi, and Lowen is not gonna be with Nino, etc…), but it does make MANY interesting pairings, and very interesting events as well.

Nightmare: Yes, well when you have a splitting headache, it's hard to be flowery as Sain usually is. Karel is just funny when I put him next to Priscilla, it cracks me up, and yes Karel, you have to take humanity lessons. By the way, I liked your FE High update, I think I reviewed, and don't worry, Fiora will warm up to ya. –wink wink nudge nudge…runs-

Draknal: Heh, Karel didn't have his sword, so I thought a dinner knife would work well, besides, those things are sharp. Yes, Karla is jealous, she's secretly in love with Raven (I think we all know that now). Now lesse how Raven will react. The bandits weren't exactly world class, so yeah, you got to fight, but not much…actually, nobody fought much…Kiyo got her highlight with the Holy Hand Grenade.

Aramin RVN: Yes, I never liked that nickname that much…but lotsa people have been calling me that so yeah, decided to change it. There's little fighting here, but then again, I made it all a joke. I'll have some real fighting later on maybe. I read your fic by the way, it's looking pretty good to me.

DragonLady626: Vaida pretty was not something I could picture n.n, but neither was Karel doing humane things. Harken is kinda annoying to get, I don't bother most of the time. And about the typos…it's hard to look through the entire fic to catch everything…the typos mainly result from my wireless keyboard skipping keys (Like some times it won't register). I try my best though, these things are way to long to check word for word.

Samantha: Yep, your demon's 12, and looks like he's getting moody too n.n. –whacks Rath- No hurting my priestess! HeathxLyn was the spawn of my RNG muahahaha! And we'll see how Rath fares –evil laugh- thanks for the idea! Oh and Kiyoko isn't really pregnant, I'm just lying. (She's only fourteen!)

Infernohero: Heh, never saw Napoleon Dynamite, is it good? I don't know how I got the "ups and downs" line to be honest…it just came to me, good thing lotsa people liked it! Heh, sappiness your weakness eh? I wonder if there'll be a Max/Louisa pairing (Though I don't know if Mierin would like it). Oh well, at the rate I'm going…it'll probably be more than 79.

Mierin Eronaile: Serra was too hung over to use a sleep staff, besides, it's like her nature… between going the easy way, and going a way that would drive someone else nuts…she'd go drive someone else nuts. Priscilla was probably too scared to even move. And yeah…I know…the infamous missing h. I'm still trying to correct typos. (I doubt I'll have a typo free chappy though…these things are too long for me to not miss something).

Aeros Fujita: Heh, well everyone was drunk, except for the people in on the conspiracy. Besides, I make myself drunk all the time! (See other fics). It's not that bad.

Jackswitch: Heh, thanks. Typos are a problem though… I try to correct as many as I can. (I usually have like twenty before revising). As far as eighty to ninety chapters go, yeah, we're on chapter eight! Woo!

Kiyoko-Chan: n.n hehe, go ahead, you can call me Chawee if ya want. Dinner knives are fun to fight with, and the girls are either too hung over or (in Priscilla's case) too scared to move (And I hope your brothers don't get hurt). Well, have fun at Fanime! Sorry I can't go this year, I'll go next year and get you that pocky. And SORRY FOR THE PREGNANCY THING! I didn't mean for your friends to be concerned about it! (Your friends actually read this?)

KevinC: Oh man, anybody stuck with a hungover Serra deserves deep consolation. Matty at the library you know that he'll have more than one near death experience, I mean…come on, it's ME, the resident Matthew-Basher on MT. I'm still trying to picture a drop-dead gorgeous Vaida…I'm still failing, but I'll get it before I write the next chappy!

Lafia: Yep, Karel's getting lessons and Karla's jealous, both which should get some very interesting results!

Geb: CharChar Wu ain't my idea, people found that out from AppleBerry and well…a lot of people have been calling me that…so yep, I changed it just to humor people. The army will get over the hangover okay…but…please don't kill me…pwease? –puppy dog eyes- I can't update if you do.

Lao Who Mai: Yeah, I got Robert E. Lee from the Southern General, and the fact that Kiyo's last name is "Lee." The alcohol thing was a bit exaggerated…but then there was around sixty people there, so it's not TOO excessive. (And besides, even I would drink if my friend was going to have a baby)

Charlie: …wow… that took up two entire pages on Word. Phew… I'm glad everyone likes this. I'll try to update as soon as possible for you guys. Well, that's all for now, see y'all later! I love ya!

Oh yeah… AIM SN is Onionbreath002 (no, I'm not that creative) if ya ever want to talk.

PS: Sorry for the delay everyone, but as you probably all realized... had a server problem over the weekend.


	9. KK Beauty Salon Part 1: Hair Gone Crazy

Charlie: Okay, sorry about the delay…but then it is SAT week and my brain was devoted to studying… and well, now that the SATs are over and my brain has properly imploded, time for the next chapter! Yes, the moment you've all been waiting for, the grand opening of the K/K Beauty Salon! Yay! Anyways, I don't own FE and anything else I might actually use in this fic. (Since I don't know what I might put…I make this up as I go).

* * *

**K/K Beauty Salon Part 1:**

Hair Gone Crazy

Inside the inn, Charlie had pulled out numerous plates of fruit, cereal, bread and breakfast meats. He cleared out a long row of tables and put the plates out in a little buffet and let the people present run loose at the food. Almost savagely, the members of Eliwood's Elite along with most of the people who had fought against Kitty's bandits attacked the buffet like a pack of hyenas.

Within minutes, everyone was seated at a table eating and chatting, except for Charlie, and the buffet was completely emptying. Sighing, the innkeeper refilled all the plates, got his food, and went to the table Kiyoko, Alan, and Samantha were sitting at. The four were going to go to school today to inform everyone of the little plot. They knew George wasn't going to be happy about having his lesson plan disturbed, but then, nobody ever paid much attention anyway. One table over from theirs sat Brian, Kate, Dias and the three sisters. On the other side of Charlie's table sat Kevin, Erimus, Jessica, Pent and Louise. The tables were grouped in a little triangle so they could have one last mini-briefing before the day got started.

"Okay, you three will go to school." Jessica was saying pointing at Alan, Samantha and Charlie. "Tell everyone the plan. I already wrote the headmistress a letter. Meanwhile, Kiyoko, you and Kate will meet Brian at the temple. Get everything set up, I'll send Vaida in about an hour."

"Okay." Kiyoko said. "I'm sure Glenn won't kill me for ditching today."

"Nah…" Dias said between bites. "I'll write an excuse for you."

"Thanks." Kiyoko said nodding at her PE teacher.

"Hey wait…" Charlie suddenly said. "I need someone to watch the inn."

"I'll do it." Lulu volunteered. "I'll watch it until everyone goes over for lunch. Fae can take care of herself until then."

"Okay, thanks." Charlie nodded.

"Okay anyways." Jessica continued. "Pent, Louise, and I will keep everyone else busy. I'm sure Canas and Dorcas are already snooping around. So if all goes well, it should be quite the interesting day."

"Indeed." Brian agreed. "Now come on, we've no time to waste, hurry up and finish so we can go."

The conspirators nodded and quickly put away the rest of their breakfast. As soon as the plates were in the sink, Brian, Charlie, Kiyoko, Alan, Samantha and Fae all set out towards the school and temple area. Lulu took Charlie's usual place behind the bar and proceeded to wash dishes and sneaking shots. Sonia crossed over to the store to open up. Dias followed her and kissed her goodbye before he too went towards the school. Fae went over to the restaurant to get things ready for lunch. Kevin and Erimus lingered around the inn for a while longer before they too went out of the inn to their respective jobs. When all the Silent Springs people left, Jessica nodded to Pent and Louise and the trio split, meandering their way among the crowd of people and eavesdropping on various conversations.

Canas and Lucius were about to be killed by a butter knife wielding Erk when Pent arrived at their table. He quickly restrained a red faced Erk and calmed the young man down.

"What happened?" Pent asked once Erk put down the butter knife. "Erk doesn't usually jump people like that."

"Canas suggested a few…shall we say activities that Erk and Rebecca might had been doing last night." Lucius said snickering a bit. "I think we pushed it a little too much."

"Oh really…" Pent said. "So Erk, tell me, DID anything happen?"

"ARGH!" Erk screamed in frustration. "NO, I didn't DO anything TO Rebecca, or WITH Rebecca."

"I know that!" Pent said. "I'm just wondering if you feel anything for the girl."

"What!" Erk said, blushing a little. "No I don't."

"Sure you don't" Canas snickered. "That's why you almost slept with her."

"Dude…" Erk said. "I don't like her that way okay? I don't like any of the girls that way."

"So are you saying you're gay?" Pent asked laughing.

"NO!" Erk yelled.

Pent, Lucius and Canas were laughing like fools now. They attracted the attention of the table next to them. Seated there were the three Pegasus Sisters and Lyn. They looked over to see what the commotion was about.

"What's so funny?" Lyn asked stretching her neck over.

"Erk just came out of the closet." Canas snickered

"What!" The girls cried. "REALLY!"

"For the last time…" Erk growled dangerously. "I'm not gay!"

"Prove it!" Lucius said laughing.

"Fine…I WILL!" Erk said. He got up and stormed away. The two magic users along with the four girls followed Erk's path. Pent saw which table Erk was headed towards and smiled. Everything was going according to plan.

Rath, Rebecca and Wil were all eating cereal and discussing Sonia's archery skills when Louise joined their table.

"Hiya Louise." Wil greeted. "What took ya?"

"Jessica wanted something from me." Louise said calmly.

"Ahh…" Wil said. He went back to his food. "So, did you see Sonia today?"

"Yes." Louise said. "She's quite good isn't she?"

"I've never seen anyone shoot multiple arrows with that accuracy." Rebecca commented.

"Well, I'd expected it from her considering she was military trained." Louise said.

"How do you know that?" Rath asked.

"She told me." Louise said. "In fact, she, her sisters, Charlie, Kiyoko, Brian and Kate were all military trained. It was part of a special program."

"Wow…" Wil said. "Well, that explains how they could hold off so many bandits."

"Well, not including the fact that the bandits were retarded." Rebecca said bluntly.

"True." Louise said. "But that was still some good fighting."

Everyone at the archery table nodded and they went back to their food.

"Umm…" Rebecca finally broke the silence. "Lady Louise."

"Yes dear?" Louise asked looking up.

"Can you teach me…to be a lady?" Rebecca asked.

Wil and Rath nearly choked.

"Why on Earth would you want me to?" Louise asked. "You're already a fine lady."

"Well…" Rebecca said. "It's just that there's someone in this army I fancy…and well, he's from a well off family. I just don't want to make a bad impression."

"Is it Erk?" Wil blurted.

Rebecca blushed. "N-no! Nothing like that."

"Sure it isn't" Rath said snickering a little. Suddenly, he noticed a purple haired figure heading towards them. "And speak of the devil…"

"It's Erk." Wil said mildly surprised.

Louise followed Wil and Rath's eyes to where Erk was heading towards their table. He had a fiery determination in his eyes that Louise had never seen the young sage have. She wondered what he could be up to.

When Erk got to the table, Rebecca looked away slightly and blushed. As badly as she wanted to deny it, she did like Erk, a lot, but there was no way she could face him now, especially after what had happened in the previous morning.

"Hello Erk." Louise said pleasantly. "Take a seat?"

"I'm fine…" Erk said. "I was just wondering if I could talk to Rebecca for a moment?"

"Umm… sure…" Rebecca squeaked. She let Erk lead her away from the table for a moment. "What's up?" She asked in a small voice.

"Well…" Erk said. "I was wondering if…you'd like…to umm… hang out this morning? We could go over to the store and see the scenery and stuff?"

"Well…I don't have anything else to do so sure…" Rebecca said.

"Cool…it's a date." Erk said happily and he walked away back towards his own table. Rebecca blushed like a tomato and walked back to her table.

"What happened?" Wil asked. "You look like you have a fever."

"It's nothing." Rebecca said. "I'm just a little hot that's all."

Rath and Wil looked at each other then out the window. It the ground outside was still covered in snow. They looked back at each other and shrugged.

"Okay…whatever you say." Wil muttered. "Oh by the way, we're going over to see the mountainside later, wanna come?"

"Umm, it's okay." Rebecca said. "I have other plans."

"Okay, whatever you say." Wil shrugged and he went back to his cereal.

Louise smiled. She knew full well what other arrangements Rebecca had.

Three tables over Marcus and Merlinus were eating together. They looked around at all the people, most of them nearly half their age. It was quite depressing.

"Look at al the young people." Marcus said. "I truly feel that I'm getting up their in age."

"You're not even forty Sir Marcus." Merlinus said. "You've got quite a ways to go."

"No, really." Marcus said. "I'm getting old. Why the other day, young Eliwood fell asleep in one of my old war stories. The youth today, no respect at all."

"Sir Marcus, your war stories ARE boring." Merlinus said.

"We need to teach them young folk a lesson." Marcus continued ignoring the merchant.

"Marcus." Merlinus said firmly. "You're NOT that old."

"I know!" Marcus exclaimed. "I'll form the first ever Eliwood's Elite's Thirty and Up Club. Only people over thirty may join!"

"That's only you, me, Oswin, Dorcas and Hawkeye Sir." Merlinus said. "That's not enough members for a club."

"That's why our club is going to be called the 'Exclusive Thirty and Up Club.'" Marcus said.

"Whatever you say Sir." Merlinus sighed, giving up.

"That's the spirit!" Marcus said. "Now, I want you to go collect members!"

"I'm eating my oatmeal Sir." Merlinus said.

"Ahh, you'll have plenty of time to eat when you're dead." Marcus said. "Now go get me them members!"

"Yes sir…" Merlinus sighed. He reluctantly trudged off to find all the members of the army who was over thirty years of age. In his mind, he was sure Marcus had lost his mind.

A few tables over, Jessica had joined Eliwood and Hector with a bowl of fruit.

"Hello, may I join you?" The tactician asked.

"Sure." Eliwood said pulling up a chair.

"What's up Jess?" Hector asked between bites.

"Nothing much." Jessica said. "We can't have our guided tours yet because the tour guide is still in school."

"Who is it?" Hector asked. "Is it that Alan kid?"

"Actually, yes." Jessica said. "How did you know?"

"He was an archer." Hector said. "Archers are usually found in the woods."

"You speak of them like they were animals." Eliwood said to his friend.

"Eh, it's true though." Hector shrugged.

"Eh…" Jessica said. "They hunt, that's what archers do, anyways…"

Jessica stopped. "Oh no…"

"What?" The two lords asked.

"Sain…" Jessica said pointing at the young cavalier. He had been sitting with his partner, Kent, along with Lowen, Isadora, and all the warriors. Now he was making a beeline towards Florina's table.

"Oh man…" Hector said. "This is going to be funny."

"Or ugly." Jessica said. "Lyn's gonna take his head off."

Lyn saw Sain before he even got half way to her table. She immediately became defensive.

"Florina… hide." Lyn said.

Florina and her sisters looked at Lyn. "Why?" They asked.

"Sain…" Lyn snarled. Fiora and Farina nodded and shielded Florina, even though the young girl made pitiful attempts to tell her sisters that she was fine. Seeing that Florina was properly protected. Lyn rolled up her sleeves and waited for Sain.

As Sain approached Florina's table, he was already calculation his odds of survival, and it did not look good to him. Lyn was already up and glaring while Fiora and Farina meat shielded their sister. Sain gulped. He wasn't going to come out of this without a scratch.

"What are you doing here?" Lyn growled when Sain got there.

"I wanted to talk to Florina." Sain said calmly.

"Why?" Lyn asked.

"Well, I was kinda rough on her last night, so I wanted to make it up to her." Sain explained.

"Well…" Lyn said. "I'm afraid I can't let you do that. You might take advantage of her, and I won't let you do that."

"Lady Lyndis, I've always had the utmost respect for you…but please, I want to apologize to Florina for snapping at her." Sain said.

"No." Lyn said stubbornly. "Go away."

"Lyn…" Sain begain. He couldn't finish. Lyn jumped him and began to strangle him. Immediately, the room burst into action as almost everyone gathered around to watch Lyn kill Sain. From one table over, the mages forgot about Erk's date with Rebecca and began to take bets on how fast Sain would suffocate, while on the other side, Heath was frantically fighting through the crowd to try to restrain Lyn.

Soon, Heath made his way into the circle and pried Lyn off Sain.

"Lyn!" Heath yelled. "NO! Don't kill him!"

"Just one bite…" Lyn said derangedly. "I want his blood! He shall not touch Florina!"

"He's NOT touching Florina!" Heath yelled. In the crowd, people forgot about Sain and began to bet on the battle between Heath and Lyn.

"He will!" Lyn said. "Let me go…unless." Lyn stopped struggling and turned towards Heath. "YOU'RE WITH HIM!" She screamed and jumped Heath. The Wyvern Lord, already near dead from holding Lyn back, was now helpless to save his life. He choked and watched his entire life flash before his eyes.

It took a while for the crowd to realize that if Lyn didn't stop, Heath would die. They all jumped into action. The person closest to Lyn, Rath, immediately jumped out and pried Lyn off her second victim while Wil and Louise attended to Heath's injury. At the same time, Lulu ran over with a blunt lance. She snuck up behind Rath and Lyn and smashed it over both their heads, effectively knocking both of them out.

"Sweet Elimine!" Lulu exclaimed. "Is the girl rabid?"

"No…" Heath panted. "She's just fanatical about defending her friends."

"Well, somebody take her upstairs and keep her from destroying the town." Lulu said disgustedly. "And the rest of you, back off, nothing to see her." Lulu dispersed the crowd and everyone drifted back to their tables. Wil and Louise stayed to take care of Rath while Heath picked up Lyn's limp body and carried her to their room.

As the crowd was dispersing, Jessica silently drifted over to Vaida.

"Yo Vaida." Jessica said.

"Yes?" Vaida asked.

"I need you to do me a favor." Jessica said.

"Okay…" Vaida said. "What is it?"

"Can you go to the temple?" Jessica asked. "They have something they need someone to help out with."

"Okay…" Vaida said. "But why me?"

"You're just lucky." Jessica said. "Heh, I just picked straws."

"Ahh…" Vaida said. "Well, let me just finish here and I'll be on my way."

"Excellent." Jessica said. With that, she drifted back to where Hector and Eliwood were. On the way there, she saw Guy bring Ninian a bowl a fruit.

'Hmm…' Jessica thought, the gears in her mind turning.

Meanwhile, the conspirators were finally arriving at the school and temple area. Kiyoko was lagging a bit because her arms were full.

"Gee…" Charlie said. "How much stuff did you loot?"

"Three necklaces, a pair of pants, two wallets and fourteen gems." Kiyoko squealed.

Charlie and Alan sighed. Only Kiyoko could find that much loot searching dead bodies. At the school, Charlie, Samantha, Alan and Dias bid farewell to Brian, and the K/K girls as they entered the school. The rest of the children were already there, herded in by the teaching staff during the raid. Glenn looked relieved to see Dias and his three students unharmed.

"You guys okay?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah." Dias said. "The bandits weren't that good, and Kiyoko blew them up with a holy hand grenade."

"Ahh." Glenn said. "Well as long as you're safe. So where's Kiyoko?"

"Ummm… about that." Dias said. He began to tell Glenn the plots with Charlie and Alan clarifying here and there. By the end of the speech, Glenn was near speechless.

"You're asking me to stall an entire day's worth of class to help out that ragtag group of fighters?" Glenn asked. "No way."

"It's actually Lord Hector and Lord Eliwood's army." Charlie corrected. "It's just not that big."

Glenn flinched. "Well why didn't you say so? Come, we must make preparations!"

Glenn led the four arrivals into the school where they proceeded to inform the entire school of the new plans. The students were happy to help while George wasn't exactly thrilled about canceling class, but since Glenn was the new acting headmaster, he had no choice.

"Okay, so Aminec, go get Delphi, and then we'll elaborate on the traps." Glenn said.

"Okay…" Aminec said. "But Delphi won't like it."

"I'll give her extra cookies." Glenn said. "Just get her."

The janitor shrugged and headed out towards her house where she housed her prized Pegasus. Meanwhile the others began to lay down the foundation of how they were going to trap Florina and Sain in the backyard. Suddenly, there came a cry from the backyard. Everyone looked up.

"What was that?" Glenn asked.

"Maybe one of the bandits got through." Dias said. "Lets go check it out."

Charlie nodded and drew his sword while the rest of the teachers followed, keeping the children from getting too close. The entire group slowly moved into the backyard where the cry was coming from. As they walked into the snow, they saw a lone figure lying in the snow. The person was breathing but not moving. Charlie quickly sheathed his sword and ran over, followed by Glenn holding a healing stave.

"He…he's just a young boy…" Charlie said when he saw the figure's face.

Glenn nodded and began to send healing energy into the boy while Charlie carried him inside. The other teachers and students parted to let the two men carrying the boy in. Once inside, Glenn increased the energy flowing into the boy while Charlie wrapped him in blankets. Dias and George cooked up some hot chocolate for the boy when he woke up and the other students just stood around, helping in any way they could.

Alan took this chance to sneak over to Hitomi.

"Hey…" Alan whispered.

"Yeah?" Hitomi replied. She didn't usually talk to the boys much.

"Can you go to the temple now? Kiyoko needs your help." Alan lied.

"Really? What kind of help?" Hitomi asked.

"Just go…" Alan said. "She didn't tell me what kind, but she just said she needed you."

"Okay…" Hitomi said. "I'll go now."

She snuck out, wonder why Kiyoko needed her. Meanwhile, the boy was beginning to stir.

"He's awake." Glenn announced.

Dias quickly brought the hot chocolate. The boy opened his eyes, sat up and looked around. His eyes slowly came into focus and he looked around confused.

"Where…am I?" He asked.

"Take it easy boy." Dias said handing him some hot chocolate. "We found you outside."

"Oh…" The boy said. "Where's Kitty?"

The room fell silent. Glenn looked at Charlie and Dias.

"She's gone." Charlie said. "Now no sudden movements or I'll kill you." Charlie pulled out his sword.

"Don't worry…" The boy said. "I lost my magic tome down the cliff."

Charlie nodded, but his sword stayed out. "So, what's your name."

"My name?" The boy said. "Why do you need to know?"

"Well, I need to know what to call you." Charlie said.

"Well…" The boy said sitting up straighter. "They call me the great Sword of the Seals!" He said proudly.

"Uhh…" Charlie said. "I'm going to call you Bob, unless you want to give me a real name."

"Salrin, my name is." The boy said.

"Talk straight." Charlie said. "Anyways, why are you here?"

"To kill all, I will." Salrin said.

"Speak badly, you do." Charlie mocked. "Do that again and I'll kill you."

"Gee…fine…" Salrin said. "I was ordered to scale the cliff and burn the temple."

"Why?" Charlie asked.

"No idea." Salrin said. "Can I go now?"

"No…" Charlie said. "We chased Kitty away…so unless you want to face the Silent Springs wilderness, you're stuck here."

"Ahh man…" Salrin said. "Where will I live?"

"I dunno." Charlie said.

"He could live with me!" A student spoke out. Charlie looked back to see who it was. He found Max and Louisa standing there with determination in their eyes. "He's a mage like us, so we could take care of him."

"It's too dangerous." Charlie said.

"But come on!" Louisa argued. "If he stays with Max, then we could be the 'Mage-y Triplets!' You guys would finally lose your unfair edge."

"This isn't the time for old rivalries!" Charlie said.

"You're just worried." Max said. "That we would beat you."

"Okay, screw it, I hope he kills you two." Charlie said throwing up his arms.

"YAY!" Max cheered. "Welcome to the club Salrin!"

"Thanks…" Salrin muttered. He drank his chocolate as the rest of the teachers and students dissipated to plan for their little event later this morning.

Across the street, Brian was showing Kiyoko and Kate a huge row of barrels.

"This is the hair growth potion, this is the coloring agent, that's the hair spray, and this is the scar remover, this is the moisturizer, and this here is the beauty cream." Brian listed off. "Instructions are on the barrels. I've set up basically all the K/K equipment in the main alter, so you guys can work there."

"Yay!" Kiyoko squealed. "Thanks Brian!"

"No problem." Brian said. "Now I gotta go help Sonia out in the store."

"Okay!" Kate said. "Thanks again."

Brian bid the two girls farewell and walked out. Kiyoko and Kate began to set up. They knew both Vaida and Hitomi had freakishly short hair so they prepared that first.

"It says here to use a table spoon." Kiyoko said reading the label. "What's a table spoon?"

"A spoon the size of a table I guess." Kate said. "Use a tub, that should be big enough."

"Okay!" Kiyoko said. She lugged two wooden tubs out and placed them behind the two salon chairs Brian set up in the alter.

Next were the beauty cream and the scar remover for Vaida. Kiyoko and Kate prepared a quart of each to use on her. Soon, everything was ready and the two girls waited for their costumers.

Soon, Hitomi arrived followed shortly by Vaida. Both looked around confused, wondering what was so important that they had to come down here for. Kate decided to jump them.

"HELLO!" Kate said. "AND WELCOME TO THE K/K BEAUTY SALON!"

"WHAT!" Vaida screeched. "I thought this was the temple."

"Why it is!" Kate said. "But it's doubling as the K/K Beauty Salon. Now you look like you need a makeover! Kiyoko! Get her strapped up!"

"But I-" Vaida began.

"Oh come now!" Kate said as Kiyoko dragged Vaida over to one of the chairs and strapped her in. "We have a full makeover program that will make you feel prettier than even the Queen of Bern!"

"Bu- I-" Vaida tried again.

She was cut off as Kiyoko covered her face and skin with beauty cream and scar remover while dipping her head into the tub-full of hair growth agent.

Meanwhile, Hitomi had put one and one together and realized that Alan had tricked her. She was about to leave when Kate grabbed her.

"Come now! Don't be shy!" Kate said enthusiastically. "We have all the furnishings to make you look absolutely FANTASTIC!"

She dragged poor Hitomi over to one of the chairs and tied her down. Kiyoko applied the beauty cream while dipping Hitomi's head into her tub of hair growth.

Kate and Kiyoko watched their victims lie helplessly in their makeovers. The two girls smiled and high fived. Soon, it will be done.

Charlie was showing Salrin around the backyard when he suddenly heard a tremble. He looked for the source and to his horror, the church seemed to be moving. The rest of the students as well as the teachers heard it too as when Charlie ran from the temple, so did they. Upon closer inspection, the church wasn't the one that was moving, it was in fact, tons and tons of golden and black hair streaming out the windows, the bell tower, the doors, everywhere.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Charlie screamed as he drew his sword. He chopped a lock of hair from the mass, only to have it grow back in seconds.

"Oh man…this is some mean hair." Alan said.

"Don't stand there, START CUTTING!" Charlie screamed while hacking fanatically through the door.

"All I have are my bow and arrows! What am I going to do? Shoot my way through?" Alan asked.

"Well, go get help!" Charlie said as he disappeared into the temple and more hair grew to cover his path.

Alan turned towards Dias.

"I'm going to get Brian, you guys keep the kids out."

Dias nodded as he and the other teachers began to herd the children away from the temple. Alan began to make his mad dash towards the main town. When he arrived at the inn, he was breathless and began making wild gestures at Brian.

"Whoa!" Brian said. "Slow down, breathe…"

Alan calmed down slightly.

"Now…tell me, what's wrong?" Brian asked.

"Hair…growing…out of…temple."

"What? I don't follow you." Brian said.

"There's hair growing out of the temple…LOTS of hair." Alan said.

"Oh dear…" Brian said. "Lets go…I only hope that my assumption is wrong, otherwise the temple may be destroyed."

The two men then quickly strode out and ran towards the temple. Unfortunately, one man heard their conversation, and he wasn't happy.

Matthew quickly downed his cereal, grabbed his toast and ran out after Brian and Alan.

"Where are you going?" Jaffar called out after him.

"Samantha's in trouble!" Matthew called back. "I'm going to save her!"

"…Man…he doesn't give up." Jaffar sighed and he resumed eating his oatmeal. Legault looked at him and decided not to ask. It was all beyond him.

When Brian got to the temple, Glenn and Fureal had managed to heard all the children back to the school. George and Dias were at the windows hacking hair as fast as it grew.

"Oh man…" Brian said. "This is bad."

"Why?" Alan asked.

"Because Kate and Kiyoko overdosed on the hair growth potion…now the hair will keep growing unless the source of the hair is cut off from the potion." Brian explained.

"Charlie hacked his way in." Alan said.

"We can only hope he's alright." Brian said.

Inside, Charlie found himself surrounded by hair. He hacked left and right, keeping himself from being suffocated.

"KIYOKO! KATE!" He yelled. "WHERE ARE YOU!"

"OVER HERE!" Kiyoko yelled from somewhere near the alter. Charlie began his low forward path towards the alter. It seems that every time he cut a lock of hair off, twice the amount grows back, but still, he moved forward.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!" Charlie called.

"WE DON'T KNOW!" Kate screamed back. "ONE MINUTE WE WERE FINE, THEN SUDDENLY THEIR HAIR REACTED!"

"HOW MUCH POTION DID YOU USE!" Charlie asked.

"A TABLESPOON!" Kiyoko said. "ONLY WE COULDN'T FIND A SPOON THE SIZE OF A TABLE SO WE USED A TUB!"

"…" Charlie was speechless. "A TABLESPOON ISN'T THE SIZE OF A TABLE KIYO! IT'S JUST YOUR REGULAR SOUP SPOON, OR AROUND THERE."

"OH…" Kate said. "THEN WHY DO THEY CALL IT A TABLE SPOON!"

"YOU PUT IT ON A TABLE!" Charlie called back. "I DON'T KNOW, JUST KEEP YELLING, I'LL FIND YOU!"

Kate and Kiyoko screeched their hearts out as Charlie hacked his way forward. Outside, Brian was listening to the shouting inside. He smacked his forehead at Kate and Kiyoko's misconception.

"Dear St. Elimine do I need to spell it out for them…" He sighed.

"Trust me…" Alan said. "I still don't know how you guys stand living in the same villa with those two."

"You get used to it." Brian said. "CHARLIE! MAKE SURE YOU PULL THE HAIR OUT OF THE TUBS!"

"OKAY!" came the reply.

Inside, Charlie finally hacked his way to the alter. He began making smaller cuts so he wouldn't accidentally kill anyone. Soon, he found Kate, who had her Lightning tome out and was frying anything that got too close.

"Kate!" Charlie said. "I found you."

"About time!" Kate said. "I think the hair is starting to wear out…the growth's slowed down."

"Thank St. Elimine." Charlie said.

"CHARLIE!" Kiyoko's voice suddenly called out. "HELP!"

"Shoot…" Charlie said. "Come on Kate, stick close."

The two quickly made their way around the alter and found Kiyoko.

"Chawee!" Kiyoko cried when they found her with her daggers chopping at hair. She sheathed her daggers and glomped the young swordsman.

"I'm happy to see you too." Charlie said hugging his friend. "Now come on, we gotta get their hair outta that potion."

"Okay…" Kiyoko said. "But make sure you leave it waist length."

"Okay…" Charlie said.

The trio fought their way to the center of the alter. They found Vaida and Hitomi, pale with fright.

"What's happening!" Vaida asked.

"Bad stuff…" Charlie said. "Come on…lets get you out of here."

Charlie, Kate and Kiyoko worked together to free Vaida and Hitomi. Charlie and Kate cut their restraints while Kiyoko trimmed their hair to perfection. Once the two beauty salon victims were out, Charlie began hacking again, this time, a pathway out. Since the source of the hair was out of the potion, the hair no longer grew back.

"Come on!" Charlie said. "Lets get outta here!"

Everybody agreed as they all helped to hack a way out.

Outside the Salon, a small crowd was gathered. It seemed that more than just Matthew heard Alan's cry for help. So far, Jessica, Hector, Eliwood, Legault and Jaffar joined Matthew in standing helplessly outside the temple, praying for the people inside.

"Is Samantha okay?"

"Samantha's fine." Dias said half-heartedly. "She's in the schoolyard."

"Oh…" Matthew said relieved. Jaffar rolled his eyes and watched as Matthew snuck into the school, still holding that now mangled piece of toast.

Suddenly, the mass of hair covering the door collapsed and a keen blade took its place. Moments later, Charlie emerged supporting a quite pale Kiyoko. Brian quickly ran up to help. After Kiyoko and Charlie, Kate stumbled out and almost fell before Brian caught her and pulled her away. Next, Hitomi came out. All the Silent Springs people froze. Hitomi now had waist length raven hair. Her skin was smoother with a creamy color from the makeover. Her eyes sparkled and her lips were full and red.

"…What happened…" Glenn asked as he stared at his student that he no longer recognized.

"A miracle…" Dias said "Hitomi finally looks like a lady."

Hitomi was still in shock. She stumbled down the stairs before Glenn helped support her. He then led her over to where Charlie and Brian were tending to Kate and Kiyoko.

The next person to walk out shocked the members of Eliwood's Elite at the temple to their bones. She was a blonde haired beauty, with smooth creamy skin, long, luscious blonde hair that went to her thighs, and sparkling eyes.

"V…Vaida!" Hector stammered. As he and the rest of the people in the army rushed forward.

"Hu…huh?" the girl replied. "Wher…where am I?"

"You're in Silent Springs." Jessica said. "Is that you Vaida?"

Vaida seemed to snap into reality. Her eyes focused. "Of course I am." She snapped. "Why? …and what's this?" Vaida grabbed a fistful of hair. "…Oh…Dear…Elimine! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

With that Vaida fainted. Hector lunged to catch her before her head hit the ground.

"If Hitomi was a miracle." Jessica muttered. "Then this is Divine Intervention."

As the victims of the madly growing hair were helped into the school for treatment, everyone cast nervous glances towards Kate and Kiyoko, wondering what kind of magic did they use.

As the group entered the school, Brian asked George for Samantha.

"I don't know where she is." George said.

"What?" Brian asked. "Why?"

"Well, a sandy haired youth came in." George began.

"Matthew…" Jessica perked. "What did he do?"

"Nothing…he asked for Samantha…I directed him to her… and I haven't seen either of them."

"…You are an idiot." Glenn said. "FIND THEM!"

The entire school was searched for a sign of Matthew and Samantha. Soon, George's young daughter Eliza found something.

"Daddy… "Eliza said approaching George. "I found Sammy…she's in the closet with…"

"With who honey?" George asked.

"…A boy." Eliza whispered as if it was a dirty word.

Brian heard. He stormed to the closet in question and threw open the door. Inside, he found Samantha snuggled in Matthew's arms munching on a piece of toast. Matthew stroked her hair with his free hand while the two laughed and chatted. It took them a while to notice the fuming priest at the door.

"Oh…Brian!" Samantha said.

"Father!" Matthew cried jumping up. "It's not what you think it is!"

Their outburst drew everyone else's attention as the entire school tried to crowd around the closet.

"Kiyoko…" Brian said in a dangerously silent voice.

"Yes?" Kiyoko squeaked. She had never seen Brian so angry.

"Arrest this man…" Brian growled. "For attempted rape of my sister…"

The atmosphere tensed as Kiyoko slowly walked towards Matthew, daggers drawn.

"Sorry…" She said. "Hands up…"

"I protest this." Jessica said. "You're violating his rights!"

"I'm sorry…" Kiyoko said. "But…in Silent Springs… rapist and murders lose their Miranda Rights. Matthew…I am placing you under arrest."

"See you in court." Brian growled. "Lock him up Kiyoko."

Kiyoko gulped. There was only one prison cell in Silent Springs… and it lies in the basement of the town library…one of the most lethal places in Silent Springs.

"Yes…" She said softly. Not even the infamous Kiyoko is fearless of the Silent Springs Library.

* * *

Charlie: …I'M SORRY! My Matthew-bashing side cropped up again. Anyways, yeah, that's the big day three surprise… Matthew gets tried. Well, I hope this chapter didn't suck too badly. (My brain imploded this morning, so I can't think straight). K/K Beauty Salon is apparently a miracle place. And yes, Samantha and Brian are siblings. And yes people, the title isn't lying…this is Part 1 of 4 in the K/K Beauty Salon legacy.**Reviewer's Corner n.n**

Aramin RVN: Heh, thanks. I didn't know I was going to use Monty Python until I got there, so I forgot to put in the disclaimer, so this time, I just did a universal one. I hope you'll continue to like this!

Aminec: I dunno how Kiyoko does it…but she just does. Besides, you get paid to do stuff! Samantha's demon is actually based off Stewie Griffin of Family Guy. As for the hand grenade…we didn't expect any rabbits at 50,000 feet in the mountains. Heh, and looks like I still missed another typo.

Inferno-Hero: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD;;;; Yes, Monty Python is VERY funny, you should go see it. I think I saw the soundboard. Yeah, his taking is funny n.n. Anyways, you got your triplet.

Aeros Fujita: Yes, I concur, Monty Python is great! (If you have the DVD, watch it in Japanese with weird subtitles, it's hilarious). Kitty is just Kitty…she wanted to be in…so I decided to use her name for bandit.

DragonLady626: Hehe, Hand Grenade ish cool! Samantha'll be fine…her demon is still a baby so he can't control his emotions that well. If you're looking for Supports, go to FE planet, they have some. As for Isadora and Harken….you don't get Harken if you get Karel, so Harken's not in here.

Min the Noodle: Heh, Rebecca has longer hair so Erk would probably pull hers back. Jaffar and Lowen send their thanks and implore you to kill me. Please don't listen to them.

Lao Who Mai: Yes, Monty Python was great; I loved that movie. (We watched it in English, oh man, I never liked that class more.) Anyways, K/K Beauty Salon worked their miracle. It was creepy…I actually envisioned Vaida hot…even though she still acted like an ass.

Nightmare3: Monty Python does indeed rule. -nod-. I swear…the Durandal is like bigger than Eliwood…how DOES he carry that thing? As for the inappropriate touching… I'll elaborate later on. (Many of my character's inappropriate escapades shall crop up during trial). A good raid must be done properly, soo… hehe n.n we give them lesson. Anyways, glad you like this, update your fic soon, and I'm sure Fiora will come around to your charms.

LaFia: Heh, wow, good to see that had an impact. It'll get better between those couples soon.

SwordmasterKevin: Heh, thanks. I'm glad you like Lyn, as well as my Pen name n.n;;;

Macross-Green: Heh, glad you like this. I know that the past few chapters have been focused on the OCs…but then that's what happens when you hafta introduce over twenty six of them. I'll slowly shift back to focusing on the FE people. It'll be a mix, the OCs won't go away, and they're always there to make life interesting, and sometimes miserable, for the FE people. And Guy…I hope you caught what's gonna happen to Guy. (Ish evil)

Samantha: Dead flesh is not good for hair -nod-. Hehe, I helped Rath along by whacking him with a lance! (Well Lulu did…but she's my real life cousin). Hehe, you're not the only one to connect my nickname with Pokemon, I'm used to it by now n.n. Well, I love ya too! (Not in that way). Hope you won't want to strangle me for the trial thingy…

Mierin Eronaile: (Side note, I'm getting better at spelling your penname). Yes, BartrexKarla is canon, but then…I'm not a canon person. (Obviously… since I'm doing the most whacky pairings ever.) Heh, the bandits will have some encore appearances…mostly involving getting their asses handed to them. The Holy Hand Grenade…man, I love Monty Python, I think I watched it too much to be able to do that part with some degree of accuracy.

KevinC: Heh, I was laughing because I pictured Kitty doing that stuff, man…it created some whacky images. The Holy Hand Grenade seems to be a source of many pleasures (Along with being my favorite part in Monty Python). 'tis great! Anyways, well, you can see what K/K does… quite…amazing really… making Vaida pretty is a near impossible feat. Oh and notice in the title it's "K/K part one" …who knows what could happen next. I hope you like Matt as company!

Blob: Monty Python is the equivalence to instant humor. I love that movie. Heh, K/K part one is up. Hope you liked it.

Draknal: Heh, I was watching Monty Python, and well, it came to mind. The bandits were just morons who didn't know what they were doing. It's always fun to fight them. And I wrote the book on bandit fighting! Of course I'll know more about being a bandit n.n.

Random Person: Yes, but it does make it entertaining to see moronic bandits. Yes, Stewie is from Family Guy, one of the best series known to mankind. (Now you know how I get ideas…TV and movies). Glenn will use his spells more or less for really weird and interesting stuff, there's not much fighting in this fic. He'll be up front during the next bandit raid.

RWT: Body parts, yep… body parts. The demon is indeed a guy, but not only a guy, but the greatest of the evil geniuses! STEWIE GRIFFIN! MUAHAHAHAHA! Hehe, I like the look up and whistle gag, works in many situations.

Kiyoko-Chan: I'm sorry…I know you can count to 3 n.n. I can too! 1, 4, 2389, 2384719, 128937214, 23e4, 1238973, 121, 3. n.n wee! Hehe, everyone knows 2 and 2 makes 22 Kiyo, come on! O.o and how did your friends see "Kiyoko" and "Pregnant?" -ish brain fried-. Kitty is cool. Most of the Silent Springs people, except for Lulu, uses swords, so hehe, we cheated n.n. Lulu's just badass enough to kick their buts regardless. Hehe, anyways, don't stay up too late at night, eat your veggies and pocky and pie, and take care of ye-self! -fusses over details about her health-.

That…was long…VERY long…


	10. KK Beauty Salon Part 2: School Makeover

Charlie: Yay! Chapter 10! I'm into double digits! Okays, some quick notes before we get started. Yes, I don't like Matthew, for the simple reason that he sucks…period. I have a level 12 Colm who's better than many of my level 20/20 Matthews. So, as with all other of my fics, don't leave a pointless flaming reading: "OMG YOU SUXORS BECAUSE MATTHEW ROXORS UR SOXORS!" If you do that, you will get a cameo in this and you will be insulted. Now that that's clear, please don't flame me just to get a cameo. Anyways, I'm not even gonna bash Matthew that badly in this, just some torment here and there, but then seeing what I did to Vaida, yeah, I'm not really singling him out or anything.

Erk: Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Charlie: Yes, I am a phantom…wooo! Phantoms are good… MY MINIONS OF DOOM! (FE8…summoners are GOOD). Anyways, here's Chapter 10, Part II of the K/K Miniseries. Enjoy.

* * *

**K/K Beauty Salon Part II:**

Schoolyard Makeover

Kiyoko led the accused Matthew away from the schoolyard where the shock of the arrest had died down somewhat. Jessica had pleaded with Kevin to stop his nonsense, but the priest refused to budge. In the end, it was decided that Matthew should be tried the following day with the Boarder Guards as the Justices.

Kiyoko then decided to take Matthew away from the commotion to prevent any riots from sprouting up. Halfway between the schoolyard and the main commercial area of Silent Springs, Kiyoko turned off the road onto a rickety mountain path. As the two moved deep into the mountains on which Silent Springs was situated, Kiyoko kept looking back periodically to make sure her captive hadn't fallen off the steep cliffs that line the pathway.

Matthew's hands were shackled and his feet were loosely chained. He walked solemnly behind Kiyoko, wondering what sort of torture chamber they were going to lock him into. He had already been stripped of his Miranda Rights, there's nothing left for them to take other than his life and his dignity.

Suddenly, Kiyoko stopped in front of Matthew, making him fall into the snow in an attempt to keep from knocking the girl down. Matthew slowly got up, weighted down by the heavy chains, and looked up. In front of him, he saw a huge dark Château, complete with ominous lightning clouds hanging overhead. The gigantic building was secluded by the surrounding rock formations and could have easily blended in to the mountain if it weren't for the brightly glowing windows and storm clouds hanging overhead.

"We're here." Kiyoko announced calmly.

"What is this place?" Matthew asked.

"Ahh…" A mysterious voice called out from behind Matthew, causing him to fall into the snow again. "This my friend is the infamous Silent Springs Library."

"That's great…" Matthew grunted as he picked himself and his three hundred pounds worth of chains from the ground. He turned around and found a druid standing behind him. Matthew recognized the man as Kevin, one of the people defending the town earlier. "But why am I at the Library?"

"That, I cannot answer." Kevin replied. "Kiyoko, why ARE you two here?"

"Matthew committed a Section 204.67-23.5, Paragraph 2-A, Line 349, Statement 12." Kiyoko said.

"Kiyoko…" Kevin said. "The last time I checked the law book was twelve years ago when I thought wearing mismatched socks was illegal. Give it to me in English?"

"Fine." Kiyoko said. "He's in for Statutory Rape."

"Wow…" Kevin said. He glanced at the criminal. "For real?"

"No." Kiyoko said. "Brian found him with Sammy."

"AHH!" Kevin said. He turned towards Matthew. "You are a foolish one. The priest is VERY overprotective of his sister."

"Yeah…" Matthew said. "You could've told me that before."

Kevin shrugged. "You never asked. Regardless, we must get you settled into your new jail cell. When is his trial?"

"Tomorrow." Kiyoko said. "The boarder guards will stay and be the justices."

"Interesting." Kevin said. "But isn't Brian normally the chief Justice?"

"He's the plaintiff this time." Kiyoko replied. "Matthew is the defendant obviously. He would be defended by his Tactician, Jessica."

"I see." Kevin said. "Do you have a role?"

"I get to be the Persecutor with Chawee!" Kiyoko squealed.

"Don't you mean prosecuter?" Kevin asked.

Kiyoko looked at Kevin and thought it was a trick question. She pointed her fingers at him and clicked her tongue while winking. "Riiiiiiiiiiiight."

"No Kiyo, prosecutor means that you'll be trying to convict the defendant, persecutor means that you're someone who oppresses someone else." Kevin clarified.

"Ohh…I knew that." Kiyoko said. "Well, shall we show Matthew to his room?"

"Indeed." Kevin said. He unlocked the door to the library and beckoned for Kiyoko and Matthew to go in. On their way in, Matthew looked up at the storm clouds in the sky sending bolts of lighting down onto the ground randomly.

"Umm… do those things go away?" Matthew asked.

"Oh, nah, Clide and Clive like it here." Kevin said. "They're nice though, unless you try to escape, then they'll blast you to kingdom come."

"Wait…you actually NAMED these clouds?" Matthew asked incredulously.

"Yeah." Kevin said.

"Weird…" Matthew muttered.

Up in the sky, Clide and Clive looked down at Matthew and listenened.

"Jackass…" Clive muttered.

"Well, he'll be here for a while…lets have some fun with him." Clide said.

"This'll be good." Clive smiled evilly. After Matthew and Kiyoko disappeared into the Library, Kevin took one good look up at the clouds.

"Don't kill him yet." Kevin said. "We need to torture him at the trial tomorrow, Kiyo's prosecuting."

"Okay!" Clide called back. "We'll just shake him up little."

"Good!" Kevin said. Then the druid walked into the Library and disappeared from view.

Inside the Library, Matthew was looking around in awe. The place was enormous with row upon row of books on shelves that stretched into the high ceiling. In the center of the around the cavernous main hall were doors that lead to other similarily large hallways. There was even an entire hall dedicated to those cube thingys that Demon Samantha used to play Final Fantasy the Spirits Within.

"Wow…" Matthew said. "This place is bigger than even the Ostian Library."

"Yes… it's quite expansive." Kevin said. "Just no sudden moves."

"Why?" Matthew asked? He took a step forward, only to get yanked back roughly by the Librarian. Before Matthew could ask why the Librarian pulled him back, fifty bolts of black energy materialized in front of him, zapping the space in front of him into a literal vacuum. Matthew felt air rush forward to replace the air molecules that were vaporized by the trap.

"THE HELL WAS THAT!" Matthew cried.

"Automatic fluxers." Kevin replied. "Anybody come in without letting me know gets fifty flux spells concentrated on their body."

"Is this a Library or a governmental institution!" Matthew asked breathlessly.

"Think of it as a multimillion gold personal collection." Kevin said. "Now… let me get you a card and we shall be on our way."

Kevin walked over to his desk and retrieved a small piece of paper. Using his magic, he encoded a magical message on the card. He handed it to Matthew who looked down and saw his picture and information on the card.

"How did you know all this?" Matthew asked.

"I'm a druid." Kevin said. "I use…DARK MAGIC…WOOO!" Kevin made little ghostly gestures with his hands. "But the real reason is that Kiyoko here got your wallet." Kevin produced a small pouch and handed it to Matthew.

"Oh…" Matthew said. He tied the pouch onto a belt and followed Kevin into the Library. They took the third door left of the entrance and walked down three flights of stairs. At the bottom was a long hallway that led to another door. Along the way, Kevin pointed out various traps.

"This is the poison arrow port." Kevin said pointing to a hole in the wall. "There are around fifty of these scattered all around here. That's the crumbling walkway. Any unauthorized movement over this area will result in a fifty-foot stretch of walkway to fall into a lava pit. And trust me, it won't collapse until you're exactly in the middle, so don't expect to be able to jump back quick, unless of course you can make twenty five feet in less than a second. And finally, near we have the decapitator at the ed of the hallway."

"What does that do?" Matthew asked?

"Decapitates anyone who tries to break out." Kevin said. "We have on the other side for those who want to break in."

"Why would anyone want to break into a prison?" Matthew asked.

"I don't know." Kevin said. "I just wanted two so it'll be symmetrical. Anyways…" Kevin opened the door to the end. It led to a modest cell with a bed, a sink and a mirror. There was a little window for him to look out. "Here is your room. I'll bring you your meals. And good luck." Kevin said.

Kiyoko let Matthew into his cell. The man sighed and plopped onto the bed before Kevin locked the door.

"Is it possible for him to escape?" Kiyoko asked.

"No, because unless he digs through one hundred feet of concrete or survive a five hundred foot fall out the window, the only way he can get past is by going through the hallway." Kevin said.

"Is that possible?" Kiyoko asked.

"No, because the moment he steps into this hallway, fifty arrows will shoot at him." Kevin said. "from launchers in the far door."

"Ahh…" Kiyoko said. The two walked in silence for a while. Just before Kiyoko got to the front entrance, she turned to Kevin.

"Man…sucks to be him." She said.

"Yes…it does." Kevin agreed. He bid the girl farewell and sent her off.

At the schoolyard, Jessica had grudgingly agreed to a trial process to get Matthew free. After that, she sent off the other members of her army present and told them to keep silent until lunch. She had Hector carry the still unconscious Vaida back to the inn as well. Before Jessica left, she told Alan that Florina and Sain would be on their way. Alan nodded and told her that everything was set.

Kiyoko returned to school just after Jessica left.

"What's up?" Kiyoko asked.

"They're coming." Alan said. "Aminec's floating somewhere overhead on Delphi, and Charlie's setting up the mines in the back yard."

"Mines?" Kiyoko asked nervously.

"Yeah." Alan said. "They're not strong so hopefully nobody will lose any limbs."

"Hopefully." Kiyoko said. "How's everyone else holding up?"

"Kate decided to stick around." Alan reported. "Brian took Sammy home. And I dunno how to say this, but the Three Musketeers are screwed."

"What? Why?" Kiyoko asked.

"The mages got an extra guy." Alan said.

"Who?" Kiyoko asked

"That kid." Alan said pointing out Salrin who was chatting with Louisa and Max. "Name's Salrin. He was part of the bandit raid. Showed up in our backyard before your hair incident. Well, he's a mage so they took him in and now we're screwed."

"Hmm…" Kiyoko said. She wandered off for a second and then came back.

"Nah, he's useless." Kiyoko said.

"How do you figure that?" Alan asked. He caught himself too late as Kiyoko dangled a pouch in front of him. "Nevermind…"

Kiyoko was still laughing when Charlie returned.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Kiyo just shoplifted Salrin." Alan said. "We're not as screwed as we thought we were."

"That's good." Charlie said. "Is Matthew safely locked away?"

"Yeah." Kiyoko said. "Don't you think Brian was a little harsh?"

"Yes, but I don't care." Charlie said. "I get to prosecute and that's all that matters."

"Can I help?" Kiyoko asked.

"Sure, I need a hand anyways." Charlie said. "Well, we got everything fixed. We're the welcoming committee."

"Eh?" Kiyoko asked. "I get to help?"

"Of course." Alan said. "Here's the plan. We welcome Sain and Florina in. While we're giving them the grand tour of the entrance hall, the Mage-y 'triplets' are going to make something for them to eat in the cafeteria. We usher them into the cafeteria, our job is done and we go to the roof to watch the fireworks."

"After they get their snack, the mages take them to the classrooms, where the young ones show them their work. George and Glenn will be there to talk to them."

"Afterwards." Charlie continued. "They get led to the back where Dias, Hitomi, Fureal, and Aminec are. While Dias, Hitomi, and Fureal distract those two, it's up to us three to light the fuses on the roof leading to mines. Dias will get enough separation between Sain and Florina so hopefully Florina will slide off the cliff and Sain will still be standing. Unless Florina completely lost her reflexes, there's way too many rocks over there for her NOT to be able to grab anything."

"Then, we just watch Sain rescue Florina because Dias, Hitomi and Fureal will be 'knocked out.'" Alan finished making quotation symbols.

"Aww…" Kiyoko sighed. "Where does Kate come into this?" She began wandering around the school.

"Well…" Charlie said. "Please for the love of god don't go into th-"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! KATIE! THAT'S SO CUTE!" Kiyoko squealed.

"..classrooms." Charlie finished uselessly. He and Alan immediately ran into the classrooms hoping to stop a catastrophe.

Kate had decorated the classroom a la K/K, meaning there were a lot of kitty cat drawings, pink, and cutesy stuff. Kate couldn't do much alone, so Charlie had hoped that Kiyoko wouldn't go into the room and go crazy with her.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. So by the time Sain and Florina came over the hill towards the school, the entire building was covered in pink wall paper and kitty cat ears. Charlie stood in the doorway amidst a group of fluffy pillows, pink plushies and hanging mobiles.

"Hello?" Sain called as he entered. He was a bit perplexed at the way the school was decorated.

"AWW!" Florina squealed as she went from decoration to decoration squealing at the cuteness. "SO CUTE!"

"That's the loudest I've ever heard you talk." Sain noted.

"Meep…" Florina squeaked, reminded by the fact that Sain was with her.

"Hello?" Charlie offered. "Sain? Florina?"

"Oh…Hello there Charlie." Sain said.

"I see you've remembered my name." Charlie said. "I'm sure you know Kiyoko and Alan here as well." Charlie gestured to his companions.

"Why of course!" Sain said. "And especially lovely Kiyoko. Might I-"

"Don't push it." Kiyoko growled.

"Yes…" Sain said.

"And you are Florina right?" Charlie asked streatching a hand out towards Florina.

Florina nodded meekly and backed away from Charlie's hand. "Ye-..yes…please don't get too close."

"Charlie…" Kiyoko growled. "Don't be molesting her."

"Shush." Charlie grumbled. "Well, anyways, welcome to our school. We'll have some snacks for you in the kitchen later and I'm sure all our little ones are so excited to meet you two."

"We can't wait to meet them too." Sain said.

"Ye-yes." Florina agreed.

"Well, if you go to your right, you'll see our kitchen. Our mage students should have some food for you." Charlie said.

"Okay!" Sain said enthusiastically. "I am hungry." He then went into the cafeteria followed by a shy Florina.

After the two had gone, Charlie gestured to his friends. "Roof, now!" The three of them went outside and found the latter leading up to the roof. Alan began climbing but Charlie and Kiyoko just made a few swift leaps up to the roof.

"Show offs." Alan muttered.

"Hey, not our fault we're swordsman." Charlie said. "Now concentrate, Kiyo, did you move the fuses?"

"No…" Kiyoko said innocently.

"Okay…lemme just…there." Charlie grabbed a group of fuses. "Okay, six mines, the mages will be up here in a second. We have to light these at the same time."

"Okay." Alan said. "It should be fine. What could go wrong?"

"Knowing this town…" Charlie said. "Anything can."

Back inside, Sain and Florina were having croquettes and hot chocolate, both badly burned, served with milk, which was amazingly also burned.

"Mmm…" Sain forced. "This is good… in it's own little way."

"Ye…yes!" Florina said.

"Well…" Sain said pushing his plate away. "I'm full. You three are really talented mages."

"Thank you sir." Louisa said. "Now if you'll step into the next room, our young ones would like to meet you."

"Okay!" Florina said. She was excited about meeting the little children.

"Thank you." Sain said. The two wandered into the next room while the three mages scampered outside and up the ladder.

"What took you three?" Charlie asked.

"Cooking took longer than I thought." Max said. "Now be quiet. Where are the fuses?"

"I have them." Charlie said.

"Good, now I hope you'll be competent enough to keep them safe." Louisa sneered.

"Watch it." Alan growled.

"People!" Charlie said. "Lets fight later? We've got a job to do."

"Fine with me." Louisa said. "Because now that we're even in numbers, you guys know you'll lose."

"On the contrary." Kiyoko said. She pulled out three magic tomes from her robe. "You mages need to learn how to keep your weapons away from wandering hands."

"..give those back." Max growled. Kiyoko giggled and tossed the tomes towards the trio of mages. Charlie and Alan laughed as the mages fumbled to keep their balance while catching the tomes.

"One day…" Louisa threatened. "One day."

"Yes…" Charlie said. "I'm sure you'll defeat us and all that jazz."

Back inside, Sain and Florina were talking to the little children with great gusto.

"The children are very eager to meet a real Pegasus knight and Paladin." Glenn said. "I'm glad you two could make it."

"It'll be our pleasure." Sain said. He spent the next few minutes telling war stories to he children while Florina and the girls played with each other's hair. As Sain dramatized many aspects of his travels with Lady Lyn and subsequent stay at Castle Caelin, Florina couldn't help but laugh. However…she was never prepared for what he had said next.

"And back there, Florina may look like a gentle, peaceful girl, which she is most of the time, but she is also a furious fighter of great skill. She is one of the best knights I know and I don't know what we would've done without her." Sain said.

Florina blushed furiously while all the children looked at Florina in awe. In her arms, Florina felt little Eliza turn and look up at her with bright eyes. They couldn't believe that Florina was such a great knight.

"Well." George cut in. "That is all from our guests today. Say goodbye boys and girls."

"Good bye Sir Sain, Good bye Lady Florina!" The children chirped.

"Good bye kids." Sain said happily.

"Take care!" Florina smiled.

Glenn and George went up to them.

"I'm so glad you two could come." Glenn said.

"You've given these kids an expierence that'll stay with them forever." George said. "Now…there is one thing you could help me with."

"What would that be?" Florina asked.

"Could you give a demonstration of your skills in the backyard? We have our PE teacher out there and a student along with our magic teacher. The kids'll watch from inside, I'm sure they'll like to see you two spar." George said.

"Umm… I'm sure that'll be fine." Sain said. "You up for it Florina?"

Florina jumped back a bit from Sain, but she slowly regained her poise. "Su…sure!"

"Excellent!" George said. "Come with me."

He then led the two into the backyard. Glenn herded the children to the windows. While doing so, he gave a small flick with his hand producing a torch stave. He gave it a good wave, sending a message to the demolition crew.

Charlie was almost falling asleep when the signal nearly blinded him. Glenn's torch flash woke everyone and nearly sent Salrin falling. As everyone gained their composure, they all leaned over the roof to look into the backyard. Indeed, Sain and Flornia were back there, and they were getting ready to spar. Charlie passed out the fuses and matches.

"On my mark." Charlie said. He waited for Sain and Florina to begin. As soon as their weapons met. Charlie gave the signal and all six fuses were lit, snaking their way down the roof and into the ground, where the mines lay.

Moments passed and nothing happened. Then suddenly a huge resounding explosion echoed through the valley as the ground between Sain and Florina split in two. Unfortunately, the explosion hadn't gone as planned. Instead of sending Florina sliding to a sure doom, Sain was the one who went bouncing. Charlie looked at Kiyoko.

"Are you sure you didn't mess with the mines?"

"…Maybe…a little." Kiyoko said sheepishly. Charlie slapped his forehead. "Well…at least we got one of them…lets hope it works."

In the yard, Florina watched in horror as Sain bounced towards the falloff of the cliff. She sighed when she saw that he had caught onto a rock, but still worried about her companion. She looked around and asked for help. The blast had "knocked" Dias and Fureal to the ground, but Hitomi was still up. Florina went over to her.

"Help me!"

Hitomi stood up and shook the snow from her clothes. "Huh? Oh yes! Your friend!"

The two girls went over to here the rift made a little slide that emptied into the canyon.

"Sain!" Florina cried. "Hang on!"

"My, such beauty, how can I not hang on!" Sain said, flirtacious to the end. Upon hearing that, Hitomi grabbed a rock and chucked it at the paladin, missing him by a mere inch.

"Ow! Sorry!" Sain said. "Just get me out!"

"Ug…you're too deep!" Hitomi said. "I can't…"

"I'm slipping!" Sain said.

Florina looked down and gasped. He was indeed slipping. For a few agonizing seconds, Sain clung on, struggling to stay up, but then, his strength gave out and he slipped, going over the edge.

"NOOO! SAIN!" Florina cried as she ran down the rift and flung herself off the cliff.

"FLORINA!" Hitomi yelled. The demolition crew on the roof had also seen her leap of faith and jumped down.

"What did she do!" Charlie asked.

"She…just jumped!" Hitomi said. "I couldn't stop her."

"Let's hope Aminec is ready for them…." Alan said. "Otherwise Jessica will be pissed."

Everyone nodded…and prayed for the best.

Sain saw Florina jump off the cliff after him, when the girl's body reached his he stretched his arms out and grabbed her. Florina tensed for a moment before letting him pull her close.

"…Is this how we'll die?" Florina asked.

"I guess so…" Sain said. "Pity… now no more girls will know of the great Sain."

"Is that a bad thing?" Florina asked.

"Depends on your point of view." Sain replied. "But I'm just joking… hey…if I hold on to you tight enough, do you think you'll survive the fall?"

"I don't know…" Florina said. "But I don't want to try…"

"It was just a thought." Sain said. "I'm sorry I came on a bit strong at times…guess facing death makes a guy think about his actions."

Florina giggled a little.

"Hey, you smiled!" Sain said.

"Am I not supposed to?" Florina asked.

"You just…never seem to." Sain said. "I always wanted to make you smile, but all I ever manage to make you do is cry, blush or call for help. Usually, I end up being beat up."

"Hehe…" Florina smiled. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay…" Sain glanced down and gulped. "It's a long fall… the ground's coming up slowly."

"Gives us some more time…" Florina muttered.

"I always thought you were very pretty…" Sain said gazing into Florina's eyes.

"…Thanks…" Florina blushed madly.

"What? No scream this time?" Sain asked.

Florina shook her head. "Not this time."

Sain and Florina looked into each other's eyes for a long time as their heads slowly inch towards each other.

"Florina…I…think…I…" Sain said.

"Yes?.."

"I…" Suddenly, Sain saw something behind Florina. "I …see a Pegasus!"

"What!" Florina said.

"No, I see a Pegasus!" Sain turned Florina around and pointed towards the white horse flying towards them.

"We're saved!" Florina said.

In an instant, the white winged horse had caught both of the falling knights and was flying up with them. It heaved a little from catching the two falling people, but it was still okay. Soon, Florina and Sain were up the cliff amidst cheers from the crowd there.

"Are you two okay!" Dias said madly. "Hurt anywhere?"

"We're fine." Sain said. "Thanks to this pe- where'd it go?"

Everyone looked around the Pegasus had disappeared.

"Wow…weird." Sain said.

"Divine intervention?" Fureal suggested.

"Or… something else altogether." Charlie said. He looked down the cliff and saw a lone Pegasus Rider sneak away discretely. The innkeeper smiled

Sain and Florina left later after Fureal did a complete physical examination on both of them. As they left, they bid farewell to the children again and thanked the teachers for letting them come. After telling Charlie and Kiyoko that they would see the two later, the pair left the school for the inn, excited to tell everyone about their near death experience. Sain would of course want to embellish his role, but as they walked back, absent-mindedly holding hands, neither of them seemed to care what version of the story got told.

Charlie watched the two go off.

"They look cute together…" He mumbled.

"Yes they do." A voice said behind him. He turned around.

"Glenn, you scared me." Charlie said breathlessly.

"Sorry… but I have a feeling that during their fall, something happened." Glenn said.

"Me too." Charlie said. "By the way, how's Delphi? Catching a falling Florina isn't hard, but a falling Sain…oh man."

"Delphi's fine, though he's a bit pissed. Aminec's giving me hell for it right now." Glenn said.

"Well, I'm sure it'll be fine in a few days." Charlie said. "And now, I have to go back to the inn. Gotta take care of business."

"You do that." Glenn said. "Good luck Charlie."

"Thank you sir." Charlie said.

"Oh and Charlie?" Glenn called as the innkeeper headed towards the commercial area of town.

"Yes sir?" Charlie asked.

"I expect to see you in detention every day for the rest of the year after these people leave for ditching." Glenn said.

"And you expect me to show?" Charlie asked.

"No, writing referral slips with your name on it just gives me something fun to do." Glenn said. "Take care."

"You too." Charlie said.

Glenn then headed inside. From the window, Kiyoko and Alan watched their friend trudge towards his inn.

"One day, we'll be able to walk away from school during the middle of the day too." Alan said.

"Yeah…" Kiyoko sighed. "But until then, it's Chicken Soup an Pocky day."

"Not any more." Louisa said sheepishly. She and the Mage-y Triplets came up.

"What do you mean 'Not really?'" Kiyoko asked. "I love chicken soup and pocky!"

"Well…when we…tried to cook… we…umm…destroyed the kitchen…so… umm… there…. Oh please don't kill us."

Kiyoko's eyes began to glow. "You..my…" Kiyoko unsheathed her daggers and the mages began to run. "COME BACK HERE! LET ME KILL YOU! I NEED TO KILL YOU!" Kiyoko screamed.

"Is she ALWAYS like this?" Salrin asked as he ran away with his new friends.

"Just on Tuesdays." Louisa said.

"Yeah, she's much worse the rest of the week." Max said.

"Oh great…" Salrin said.

"Yep, welcome to Silent Springs." Max said.

"Thank you." Salrin replied. "Remind me to take the next train out."

"There are no trains here." Louisa said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Charlie: Yeah, K/K didn't do much, but oh well, I'm brain fried. This is part 2/4 of the K/K series. But don't be fooled, there's more than four chapters on K/K, some will focus on K/K more than others, but I must get the plot moving since I see I have like four chapters and I still haven't hit lunch on day 2. Anyways, hope that was okay, please leave a review if you want to.**Reviewer's Corner n.n**

DragonLady626: Heh, Vaida pretty was a very…uneasy scene to imagine for me. SATs are over…thank God. I hope this chappy's still good… the thing about writing this…I'm worried that sometimes my writing may slip.

Kitty Merow: Yay for laziness! I do the same thing, me and my infamous one liners as reviews. I'll be fine on the typos thing, because honestly, these things are just too long. And seeing that we're at chapter 10 and only got past one and a half days… it's just too much to worry about perfection.

SwordmasterKevin: Heh, I wanted to get SainxFlorina crap outta the way. Next chapter, we shall see what fate befalls Heath…though most likely he'll get his head ripped off.

KevinC: Kate and Kiyoko are just crazy. This chapter didn't focus as much on them as I liked, but they still screwed up the positions of the mines. As for your library, yes, it's that lethal, and yes, expect it to be hit by K/K as well.

Inferno-Hero: Heh, the soundboard is cool. SoS is funny, I always wanted to see people's reaction to that name, so I put it in. And now… it looks like my chapter count shall break triple digits.

AngelofFate1: Hehe, Matthew bashing! Yeah! And you look pretty sis! No more gender confusing, meaning that guys in class shall now hit on you. Hehe!

Kiyoko-Chan: I know you can live offa pocky alone, but pie is good and veggies are good for ya! I don't want you to get sick now! You must stay healthy! -fusses- Clubs shall come back…before LUNCH! Hehe, Erk and Rebecca's date definitely warrants the "Erky-Poo fanclub." As for the thirty up club…I have some fun ideas for them that I'm working on. And no Kiyo, a tablespoon is not that big.

Samantha: Hehe, Matty's in court because he stole a piece of toast and Brian found him getting too close to ya. (He's overprotective of you). When Kitty invades again, I'll give ya something to fight with n.n as long as you don't hit me.

Random Person: Hehe, Vaida should awake in a bit… it should be fun! And if X flames me…well, he/she/it can, I don't really care. I'll just embarrass him/her/it even more.

RWT: Lyn's just crazy. I bash Matthew for one reason. I like Matthew, but out of sheer habit, or because this happens WAY to much, I like watching him die more. In my games, he dies for the simple reason that he sucks (effing hell, 5 str, 9 skill, level 20/1 assassin… THE HECK is that!). And looting is fun…although…a bit gross.

Nightmare3: Meh, sanity is overrated. Mine left me long time ago, hence this fic. Hehe, the inappropriate escapades should apply to all characters as Jessica uses some low tactics, but since it's an unfair trial… Oh and I read FE High, it was hilarious! I didn't get a chance to review yet, I should do it now -nod-

Charlie: Phew, that's a lot! I appreciate everyone who reads and reviews this a lot! I love you all and I hope I can keep bring you good stuff.


	11. Revenge of the Kitty Kat

Charlie: YAY! Another chapter. It's currently 4:29 PM PST. I have a Pops Concert I need to be in at 6:30 PM PST. So if I work REAL fast, I might make it… chances are, I won't make it, but hey, I can always hope right! Anyways, this is K/K Part 2.5. It actually has nothing to do with K/K. But Kitty gets an encore because Kitty is cool.

Well, on with the show! And I don't own FE.

* * *

**K/K Beauty Salon Part 2.5**

Revenge of the Kitty Kat

Noon approached Silent Springs and the members of Eliwood's Elite began to file into the restaurant. Everyone was buzzing over rumors of Matthew being placed under arrest for the rape of an innocent girl. They all filed into the restaurant where Jessica promised to explain the rumors.

Jessica stood in a prominent spot in the restaurant. She looked out at the people sitting at various tables and could safely say to herself that this is the most order she had ever seen in this group. She wondered if she should have someone arrested every other day just so the cliques would just stop fighting.

"Ahem, as you may have all heard." Jessica said without preamble. "Matthew has been arrested on the charges of attempted rape. However, his attitude will not reflect upon how the locals treat you, so don't feel intimidated to go out."

"Is he going to be alright?" Someone asked.

"As far as I know, there will be a trial held tomorrow. I shall defend him and see to his freedom. Currently, he is locked up in an unspecified location. So, that's all for now, now enjoy your meal."

Jessica didn't wait for anybody else to ask questions before stepping down and going to the table where Pent, Louise, Canas and Dorcas sat. The room was already full of whispering and chatting people discussing their morning.

"Did he really rape that girl?" Louise asked.

"No." Jessica said. "They found the two cuddled together in a closet. The girl's brother went ballistic."

"Who is it?" Pent asked.

"Samantha." Jessica replied.

"Ahh, who's her brother?" Canas asked.

"Brian." Jessica said. Lulu then brought them their meals and they began to eat. "But now that I think about it, Samantha seemed to have wanted to cuddle with him."

"If I didn't know better, they're in love." Dorcas said.

"Yeah, but we gotta get Matt out of prison first." Jessica said. "We need to prepare our case tonight. No midnight meetings."

"Got it." Pent said. "By the way, is Lyn and Heath all right? They're not here, given the fact that Sain's sitting next to Florina and still alive."

Pent pointed to the table where Florina and Sain sat together with her sisters. The two looked very close.

"My guess is that Lyn's still out cold. Lulu gave her a good whack this morning." Jessica shrugged. "Vaida's still out. She'll be out for a while."

"Is it true she's drop dead gorgeous?" Pent asked. He was rewarded with a prompt smack from his wife.

Just then, Charlie ran in looking quite frantic. He ran up to Lulu and whispered fiercely to her. Lulu nodded and Charlie left. Lulu then headed straight for Jessica's table.

"Is something wrong?" Jessica asked.

"The bandits are back." Lulu said. "Charlie says that they're assembled at the base of the mountains and should be up within the hour. He wants to make sure that you and your people stay in here and don't go out."

"Are you sure?" Jessica asked. "We do know how to fight."

"Not in Silent Springs Snow you don't." Lulu said. "We'll handle it…just make sure nobody needs to go outside. I'll have the door locked and Fae will keep you guys company."

"Okay." Jessica said. "Got it, but as long as the noise level stays down, I'm sure these guys will be too busy eating to care."

"Good." Lulu said. "Well, I gotta go help Charlie."

"Take care." Jessica said.

"I will." With that, Lulu got up and left through a door in the back. Jessica watched as Fae discretely locked both the front and back doors, ensuring that nobody would get out anytime soon.

Outside, Lulu met Charlie, Sonia and Kate in the town square.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"They're still at the bottom." Charlie said. "But there's movement to the side. They're gonna scale the cliffs."

"Ahh crap." Lulu said. "They got smart."

"Yes, they have." Charlie said. "I've sent messages to the school, temple, and library, they're getting ready to make a stand."

"Okay, that leaves us with the main group, are we up to it?" Kate asked.

"As long as you and Sonia don't suddenly lose your eyesight, half of them should be dead before they get half-way up the mountain." Lulu said.

"Well, we'll just have to see." Sonia said. The four then split up. Charlie and Lulu hid in ambush positions while Kate and Sonia took their places atop tall posts so they could snipe the bandits while they charged the mountain.

Down the mountain, Kitty was briefing her men.

"Men, today you stand upon the threshold of a new era." Kitty said majestically. "We are here to bring down a cruel and oppressive institution that has wrought their iron will upon us for centuries!"

"YEAH!" Kitty's goons cheered.

"Today, many of you might die… no…many of you WILL die." Kitty said. "But, remember as you make your suicidal charge up the mountain, remember who you are. You are a member of the Mountain Guardians! Remember what you're fighting for… for justice…for honor…for glory and for dignity, but most of all, you are fighting… FOR THE REPUBLIC!" Kitty gestured dramatically as she finished her speech. The cheers were enormous.

"YEAH! FOR THE REPUBLIC!" One man yelled.

"LETS GO CHARGE UP THAT HILL IN SINGLE FILE!" Another cheered.

"YEAH! LETS GO!"

Kitty's main force began its suicidal charge up the treacherous slopes of Silent Springs waving their axes and screaming "FOR THE REPUBLIC!"

Kitty stood back and watched as her men charged towards their deaths.

"Man, you people are stupid." Her second in command said. "Sooner or later they have to figure out that we're bandits and we don't HAVE honor or dignity. Hell, we don't even have a Republic. It's more or less despotism. I mean it's not like you let us have a senate with representatives voted by the people through a popular system."

"Dude… you're thinking about this WAY to much." Kitty reprimanded her second in command.

Sonia and Kate nearly laughed when they saw he entire force charge them in single file. They took turns aiming and taking down bandit after bandit.

But there was too man. Soon, bandits poured into the town square. Charlie and Lulu jumped from their hiding spots, swords flashing as they hacked the lead bandits and fought the horde with Kate and Sonia providing support.

"NOT A STEP BACK!" A bandit yelled and the flow of bandits into the square multiplied. Charlie and Lulu swung their weapons around wildly. They were bound to hit something. As the battle continued, the two fighters were getting worn out.

"Man…where's a holy hand grenade when you need one?" Charlie asked.

"Dude, it's called THE Holy Hand Grenade of Antioque because there is only ONE." Lulu yelled. "NOW shut up and go kill people!"

Charlie parried a axe blow before lopping off the head of his attacker. "It'll take probably a miracle for us to win."

Meanwhile, the noise of the battle below began to seep into the inn. Soon, Lyn opened her eyes and sat up in the bed.

"Ugh…my head." Lyn moaned. "Where am I?"

Heath turned from the window. "You're up."

"Heath? What happened?" Lyn said.

"Long story short, Sain wanted to apologize, you went into psycho-maniac mode, tried to kill Sain. I tried to stop you from committing a murder, and you in turn tried to kill me. Rath tried to stop you and that's when Lulu came over and whacked you over the head with a gigantic lance. I don't know how it's supposed to work, but you didn't wake up until now and Rath woke up like five seconds after he fainted."

Lyn blinked. "Wow…" Then she heard the fighting. "What's that noise?"

"The bandits are back." Heath said.

"Really? How's the fight going?" Lyn asked.

"Bad… Kate and Sonia are sniping as many people as they can, but right now, Lulu and Charlie are the only ones down there. I took a quick scan of the surrounding mountain ranges and there are bandits scaling the range at the school." Heath said.

"Well, why are we up here for? Lets break into the weapon stores and go help!" Lyn said.

"But…what about your-" Heath said pointing at Lyn's head.

"Screw my head." Lyn interrupted. "It ain't falling off any time soon. LETS GO!"

Lyn grabbed Heath by the arm and dragged him out of the room and down the stairs. She kicked open the door to where their weapons were stored. Lyn fished around and found her Mani Katti and killer bow. She looked back at Heath carrying a decapitated piece of lance.

"What is that?" Lyn asked.

"My iron lance." Heath said. "It's a bit old."

"Old is an understatement." Lyn said. She yanked out a new killer lance for Heath. "You tell Eliwood about this and I'll kill you."

"But…it is…" Heath said.

"Heath…just shut up and go fight." Lyn said.

"Yes ma'am." Heath obeyed, following Lyn out the door. Once outside, Lyn pulled out her bow and took careful aim. She twirled her arrow and sent it flying, piercing the skull of one of the bandits.

"WHAT THE!" Charlie cried as the bandit in front of him fell with an arrow bolt in his head. He turned around. "Lady Lyndis? Heath!"

"We're here to help!" Lyn said drawing her Mani Katti. "You go to the school! The bandits are scaling the cliffs there."

"But… " Charlie said.

"We'll be fine!" Heath said. "Just go!"

"All right!" Charlie said. He slashed his way out of the swarm of bandits and ran away from the town square towards the mountain paths. "Thanks guys!"

"No problem." Lyn said. She held her Mani in front of her. Heath at her side.

"Heath… you ready?" Lyn asked as half the bandits diverted their attention from Lulu to them.

"Yes milady." Heath said.

"Then lets go kick some behind!" Lyn charged cutting into the first few bandits. Heath, though not as graceful as he would be in the air, stayed behind Lyn and kept her flanks clear. Soon the flow of bandits decreased and the three fighters gained some breathing room. Lulu fought her way to Lyn and Heath.

"Thanks you two." She said.

"No problem…" Lyn said. "Now lets finish this."

At the schoolyard, the bandits were starting to pour in from the cliffs.

"FOR THE REPUBLIC!" One of the bandits yelled and charged into the schoolyard.

Kiyoko and Glenn stood in the back yard of the school. They knew Alan and the Mages were on the roof providing cover.

"Ready Kiyoko?" Glenn asked.

"Just make sure you can keep up old man." Kiyoko squealed. She disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to show up behind the first bandit. The bandit jerked and fell forward with a fresh wound in his back. Glenn laughed.

"Such youth and spirit." He chuckled to himself. He held out his hands and dark energy began to crackle.

"Dark energy… gather at my hands, crush my enemies and crumble their resistance… LUNA!" Glenn released the energy. A seal appeared around the next bandit as seven balls of black magic circled him before crashing into the man, crushing him like a can.

"Simple enough." Glenn said. More energy cracked at his hand as Kiyoko meandered about the enemies at will slicing one bandit after another. With in ten minutes later, all the bandits that had gone over were finished.

"That was so bad." Kiyoko said.

"Yeah…" Glenn said.

"HEY!" Fureal yelled from the roof. "Get to the front! Dias and Hitomi are getting overwhelmed!

Glenn and Kiyoko looked at each other, and suddenly remembered that the slope on the Church's side is much more gentle. They hurried to the front yard.

Dias parried one axe blow after another. It was simple enough now but if his sword broke, he would be finished. He looked over and saw Hitomi struggling to keep up with the hordes of bandits that now poured from over the cliff behind the church.

"Damnit! Where's our support!" Dias yelled to the roof.

"IT'S COMING!" Max yelled. He pulled out a red book and read from it. Soon a bolt of fire formed over his head and hurled towards a bandit, frying him instantly. Next to him Louisa sent a bolt of lightning over another bandit's head. Behind both of them, they heard a cryptic chant and an ice storm hurled into the crowd of bandits. They looked back and found Fureal holding a Fimbulvetr Tome. A little bit over on the roof, Alan was sending a rain of arrows into the crowd, thinning it considerably, but more and more bandits just kept coming. Max sent another fire bolt into another bandit. He looked down, Glenn and Kiyoko had arrived and were now pushing the defense line forward. Glenn began to cast Fenrir spells. Kiyoko went from person to person flashing everytime before her victim fell dead. Dias redoubled his efforts and drove forward with his killing edge. Hitomi fought fiercely to hold her ground. The battle below pushed to a stalemate at the middle of the road.

"We need an extra push!" Hitomi yelled as she drove her sword into another bandit.

"Just make sure they don't get to the little ones!" Dias said.

"Just make sure your sword doesn't break." Kiyoko said. She stabbed another bandit and used the falling corpse as a meat shield.

Suddenly, a Pegasus Knight swooped in and skewered three bandits on her lance. The looked up and found Aminec discarding the bodies and getting ready for another swoop. They redoubled their efforts. The fighting grew fierce as the defenders pushed the attackers back towards the cliff.

Then it was over. From the direction of the inn, a swift swordsman rushed in and sliced through the enemy line, leaving nearly five men dead in his path. The defenders stood back amazed and wondered whom their ally was.

Charlie looked up at his friends. "Eh? Thought you guys needed some help." He said.

"That was a good charge." Dias said.

"Not really." Charlie said. "If any of the bandits saw me, I would be dead by now."

"Well, whatever." Kiyoko said. "Lets kill them so we can go protect the villages."

"Gotcha!" Charlie said. He drew up his sword and charged along with the rest of the defenders. Alan and the mages jumped from the roof and charged forward sending a literal firestorm with their highflying fire bolts.

Kiyoko fought her way to Charlie's side. They stood back to back, warding off bandit after bandit.

"Thanks…" Kiyoko muttered.

"Semper Fi kid…" Charlie said. "Semper Fi."

At the library, a group of a dozen bandits had scouted the area and confirmed the lack of defenders.

"Strange, I would assume the place where they keep the secret archives would be heavily defended." One of the bandits said.

"Screw it, lets just go." Said another.

"I don't know; this place looks creepy."

"Ahh don't be a sissy. What's to be afraid of? Scary books?"

"But those two clouds up there don't look friendly."

"You're scared of a couple of clouds? Get real man!"

"Fine…"

The bandits advanced.

'Ready Clive?' Clide whispered to his twin. "NOW!"

Both storms unleashed their lightning blasts, sending five million volts into the lead bandit.

"HOLY NARF SAUSAGES!" The other bandits shouted. As more lightning bolts slammed down, the bandits wasted no time rushing into the building. Once inside, the de facto leader of the group took a head count.

"Who's missing?"

"Butch and Bob." Someone said.

"That leaves ten of us." The leader said. "Enough to take down one library."

"I wouldn't be so certain of that." An errie voice called out.

"Who's there?"

"The Librarian of Doom." The voice said. "I suggest you leave right now and nobody will get hurt."

"You wish!" The leader said. "We're here for the secret archives, and we're not leaving until we get them."

"As you wish." The voice said. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Hah, what can one man do?" The leader asked. He led his group down the hallway into the secret archives. Here, in the Silent Springs Library, every secret of every nation was documented from scandals to apparitions. It was second to the Vatican Archives in Etruria.

A lone robed man stood in the middle of the archive room.

"Hello." The man said. "I am Kevin, the Librarian."

"And I'm about to kill you." The bandit said. "Now hand us the secrets of this place or else we'll kill you."

"Oh my." Kevin said. "Well, I cannot do that. In fact, I must indeed stop you."

"Oh yeah?" The bandit said. "You and what army?"

"This army." Kevin snapped his fingers. Immediately, dozens of axe wielding phantoms filled the room.

"HOLY SHIT!" The bandits cried. They began to swing their axes around to ward off the phantoms.

"Resistance is futile." Kevin said. He summoned three more phantom per phantom the bandits killed. Soon, all ten bandits lay dead.

"Clean them up." Kevin ordered his phantoms. The soldiers of doom obeyed and swept the ground with black magic. Soon, the archive floor was as clean as it had been before. The phantom troops disappeared and for all intents and purposes, no battle had ever occurred here.

Kevin calmly walked out of the archive room, locked the door and went back about his business.

In the residential area, George, who had ran back to protect his wife and baby, Samantha and Brian had herded all the civilians into a town hall. The town hall was against a steep slope up to the pinnacle of the Silent Springs mountain range. It provided good cover and only had to be defended on one side. Brian and Samantha stood back as George took cover. He had various magic swords so he could kill as many bandits before they reached him. He knew that once they reached him, it would be a matter of time before either they kill him, or reinforcements arrived. He hoped for the latter, but expected the first.

At the town hall, Sonia and Kate slid down from their posts as they surveyed the carnage. Nearly one hundred fifty bandits had died there. It was quite the number. They looked down the slope to find Kitty and her commanders riding away.

"Cowards." Lulu muttered.

"Save it for later." Kate said. "We have to go protect the children."

Lulu nodded. The entire group then ran as fast as they could towards the schoolyard and residential area.

Inside the restaurant, people were completely oblivious to the conflict outside their walls. Instead they chatted as if nothing was wrong.

"So, how'd humanity lessons with Karel go Priscilla?" Nino asked.

"Bad." Priscilla said. "I took him to the store and showed him various fluffy things. Some how, that man could think of ways to kill a man with almost anything in existence."

"Such as?" Serra asked.

"Teddy bears, spatulas, even soda pop." Priscilla sighed. "I am so gonna die before the fourteen days are over."

"Cheer up." Serra said. "We have some work to do this afternoon."

"What do you mean?" Priscilla asked.

"Erk has asked Rebecca out this afternoon and we're going to ruin their date." Serra said.

"Really? Are you sure it's romantic?" Nino asked.

"Trust me…" Serra said. "It is. Now here's my plan."

She motioned the girls to pull their heads together and whispered her plan. As the plan unfolded, Nino's look of happiness grew and grew while Priscilla's look of apprehension grew worse.

Wil and Rath were grilling Rebecca on details of her upcoming date.

"So, what are you going to wear?" Wil asked.

"I don't know." Rebecca said.

"Well, where are you guys going?" Wil asked.

"I don't know." Rebecca said.

"Well, do you know what time he's taking you out?" Wil asked.

"After lunch." Rebecca said. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"Sure…" Rath said. "Next thing we know, you'll be pregnant with his child."

"I am NOT like that." Rebecca said.

"That's what my mom said to her friends when she met my dad." Rath said.

"What? You're lying aren't you?" Wil asked.

"Yes, but that's besides the point here." Rath said.

"Look, it's a simple thing okay guys?" Rebecca said. "It's not like I'm in love with him or anything. I mean he's just not my type."

"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" Rath asked.

"…" Rebecca stayed silent.

"I think we know how you feel now." Rath said solemnly.

"We do?" Wil asked.

"Just shut up kid." Rath said. "Please."

A few tables over, Fiora and Farina smiled as Sain and Florina told them about their morning adventure. While they smiled, Fiora and Farina exchanged a subdued conversation.

"I don't feel comfortable about this…" Farina whispered.

"Me neither…" Fiora whispered back. "He's too close to her…"

"We need to get that creep away from her…" Farina whispered.

"Sisters?" Florina asked. She looked puzzled.

"Yes, go on Florina." Fiora said.

"We're finished." Florina said.

"Oh, well then that was quite the morning you two had." Fiora smiled.

"Yes it was!" Florina smiled. She leaned back and rested against Sain's side a little. Fiora caught the gesture. She felt like puking right there.

At the town hall, the first bandits were beginning to come into sight. George held himself steady.

"Remember…" Brian said. "Don't fire until you see the white of their eyes."

"Got it…" Samantha and George said. George waited for the bandit to get closer. He waited until the bandit's features were visible. Then he raised a light brand and shot a bolt of light into the lead bandit. The man's face contorted in pain and he fell over into the ground. He twitched twice…the fell limp.

"This is good." George mused. He waited for more bandits to come. Then he raised his light brand again and began firing. He watched as one after another, the bandits began to fall under the onslaught of lightning spells launched by the myrmidon's light brands and Brian's lightning spells. Samantha did whatever she could to heal wounds from cuts and scratches the two men got.

Unfortunately, George's light brands ran out soon, and he was left without a ranged weapon. He retreated to where Samantha and Brian were and waited.

Samantha watched as the line of bandits drew closer. Without George's light brands, Brian was doing as best he could, but it wasn't enough. Soon, they would have to fight hand to hand.

It was then Stewie decided to pay another visit to her conscious.

"Let me take over." Stewie said to her.

"No…" Samantha said to Stewie in her mind.

"Trust me… I won't take over the world." Stewie said.

"That's like Bern asking Lycia to leave the border undefended because they aren't going to attack." Samantha said.

"I just want you to live." Stewie said.

"Since when did you care." Samantha asked.

"Since a, you lost your boyfriend, b, I've been with you for quite some time and I've grown attached, and c, most importantly, you die, I die." Stewie said.

"I'm touched." Samantha said. She watched as Georged charged into the bandit line slicing and dicing. A second figure emerged from the town hall. Samantha recognized him as the postal worker Erimus. The assassin pulled out twin blades and attacked. The two men in conjunction with Brian fought the bandits fiercely, struggling to keep the bandits from reaching the town hall, but they were fast becoming overwhelmed.

"Come on." Stewie said. "I need to hone my skills anyways. I promise you…if I do anything bad, you can make me watch Final Fantasy."

"Okay…" Samantha said.

"YAY!" Stewie squealed.

Brian noticed Samantha growing fans and horns.

"No! SAMANTHA!" He yelled. He tried to reverse the spell.

"Don't bother…" Stewie-Samantha growled. "I'm here to help fight."

Stewie took out a mend stave. It glowed in his hand and extended to nearly eight feet long. The orb at top morphed into a grotesque blade. Stewie-Samantha charged, her priestess veil flying off her head revealing her beautiful hair. The bandits stood mesmerized at the angel of death that stood before them, before they comprehended that they were going to die if they didn't act fast.

But it was too late. Stewie had gotten to the bandits. With one wave of the staff, the heads of the closest bandits flew off. The rest of the bandits looked at him in fear.

"AHHH! IT'S THE COMING OF THE ANTI-ELIMINE! RUN FOR IT!"

It was too late to run. Samantha's body leapt and cut off the escaping bandit, her deadly staff waving, slashing, and decapitating. Samantha's body twirled as stewie dodged axes and drove his weapon into the bodies of the bandits. Soon, the carnage was over. Samantha's priestess robes were drenched in blood, but her horns and fangs had receeded. The mend stave returned to it's original form. The girl stood there for a moment, and then fell forward. Brian leapt to catch her before she fell into the snow. George stared at the blood soaked snow in front of him and back at the priestess girl. He never knew she had such power. Erimus just stood there. He walked over to George.

"Sammy is good." Erimus commented. "Just be glad she's on our side."

"Yeah…" George said. "For now."

"Yes…while we're at it…lets clean up a bit." Erimus said. George nodded and the two men got to work shoveling snow and disposing bodies over the cliffs.

A while later, the rest of the Silent Springs residents arrived at the scene of the fight. Samantha was still passed out.

"What happened here?" Glenn asked.

"Sammy let Stewie take over." Brian said. "That was some hot action though."

"Sammy?" Charlie said doing a double take. He looked at the girl and his eyes found the blood on her robes. "Who would've known…"

"Well, lets keep this a secret." Brian said. "If visitors found out what Sammy here is capable of, they might stop coming."

"Yes…" Charlie said. "Lets keep this a secret."

Then everyone pitched in to clean up Silent Springs and get things back to normal.

Lyn and Heath trudged back to the inn, both tired from running around cleaning up bodies. The rest of the army was just finishing dinner and emerging from the restaurant.

"Where were you two?" Hector asked when he came out.

"Doing stuff…" Lyn said. They had been advised to keep the fighting secret.

"What kind of stuff?" Hector asked.

"Mainly getting some medicine for her headache." Heath said. "She'll be fine, but she needs rest."

"Oh…" Hector said. "Okay then, take care." He walked off.

"That was close." Lyn said.

"Yeah… lets get back to the inn. Then we can get some rest. I'm a little too sore to move right now." Heath said.

"Okay…" Lyn said. "Who gets the bed?"

"If you want it…" Heath said. He grimaced. He didn't want to sleep on the ground again.

"We can share…" Lyn said. "I owe it to you to let you sleep comfortably after I dragged you into this."

"Okay." Heath said.

"Besides, that way you can keep me warm." Lyn smiled at Heath.

The Wyvern Lord looked at her wondering if the great Princess of Caelin just came onto him. He pushed the thought from his head. It was giving him a splitting headache.

Charlie, Kiyoko and Alan sat on the roof of the schoolyard, resting after cleaning up much of the blood and bodies from the town.

"Ugh…I feel like a wyvern just tried to dance with me…" Alan moaned.

"Granted that you didn't smash its feet into oblivion first." Kiyoko giggled.

Charlie and Kiyoko laughed.

"Not funny guys…" Alan said.

"It was to us." Kiyoko said. She lay down on the roof and looked up at the grayish sky.

"Hey Charlie." Kiyoko said. "What does Semper Fi really mean?"

"Marine talk for 'always faithful.'" Charlie said.

"Oh… okay." Kiyoko said.

Her stomach growled. "I'm hungry, can I have pocky?"

Charlie and Alan laughed.

"Yes Kiyo…" Charlie said. "You can have all the pocky you want."

"Squee!" Kiyoko squealed. The three friends came off the roof and headed towards the inn where Charlie could get Kiyoko some pocky.

The morning was over and since then, bandits had raided twice, Matthew was in jail, and the church had almost gotten destroyed. As they walked, Charlie shuddered at the thought of what may come next.

* * *

Charlie: We're finally past lunch! Yay! Well, as you can see, not much K/K, but everyone got to fight a little, since everyone wanted to fight so badly. I always liked the idea of Stewie Griffin actually succeeding in one of his plans, so I made him a kick ass priestess. Well… I gave him a priestess' body and made him kick ass…close enough. Anyways, thanks for reading and leave a review if you can. Love ya!**Reviewer Corner n.n**

Kevin: Heh, I needed to take a break from Kate and Kiyo, so I wrote this chapter on Kitty (Why does everyone's name start with a K!). Lyn's gonna get her private time, if you know what I mean -wink wink nudge nudge- but she'll see Sain and Florina soon. As for your Library… just be ready…

Blob: Yes, that would be the worst thing to hear, but of course, I'm paranoid of my writing period, I always thing my previous chapters are better. I'm so happy that you like this. I hope my writing doesn't meet that one day where it slips.

Pheonix-Lord: The security system comes with insanity. So unless you want Kevin's sanity (trust me, you don't) I wouldn't think about getting it. As for tortures…I torture everyone! I'm an equal opportunity torturer.

DragonLady626: Heh, Sain and Florina were in my mind a legit pairing, but then I didn't make the game so I had no say. I'm sure Sain and Florina will have encores (since they literally sleep together). Who knows what can happen.

Samantha: Hehe, you like your battle staff? Stewie's getting attached to you! I hope you're ready for motherhood. Matty'll get out of his fix, but I must say in advance "I'M SORRY!" for what happens to you. But everything turns out good at the end, so everyone wins! Hehe, I can't wait to see that comic.

Inferno-Hero: Heh, that WAS Fairly Odd Parents. Man, that show rules.

Lao Who Mai: Meh, it's true that once a scar heals the skin can't be healed…but seriously, Kate and Kiyoko made their hair grow rabid, they can take care of a few skin cells. As for the age gap, I have two names for you: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. We're defying the laws of physics here!

RWT: Heh, well, if the Pegasus didn't come soon, I'm pretty sure that -ahem- stuff would've happened. Hehe, poor Salrin indeed…no trains.

Kiyoko-Chan: Of course, and once I introduce your ambulance… wow… bad stuff will happen. Silent Springs is indeed anything but silent n.n we grew up there so we're used to it. I'm pretty sure our ancestors didn't expect it to be tourist trap. Matt's not gonna get tortured that badly… so… can I be alive while typing this now? Sain/Florina is cute. Well, take care of yourself! Eat your pocky and try to eat some other healthy foods, put pocky in it if you can! -fusses over her-

Nightmare3: Your Librarian isn't psycho! Heh, the pairings will develop more as we go along. K/K series will continue as well. I reviewed your fic…I think, and I won't ask why Lucy was in a drag XD;;; although it was funny.

Charlie: Well, love ya all! And it is currently 11:18 PST. Yep, I didn't make it…oh well n.n. Hope everyone continues to enjoy this. I love you all!


	12. Forever and a Day

Charlie: Hello. I'm back. Sorry for the delay, but I really wasn't feeling well Tuesday, not to mention I had slight writers block, but now it's over. Anyways, onto chapter 12. Oh yes, one announcement. I have one more slot open in this fic, I need someone to be the Grim Reaper, (Watch Family Guy and you'll know why I need a personality.). If you WANT to be the Grim Reaper, just leave a name, gender and a few short personality defects in a review. Note, because I know that there are some time zone differences, I won't be going by the "First come First serve" policy. Instead I will take all the names and draw them from a hat. My AIM is onionbreath002 if you feel the need to find out if you got the part BEFORE my next chapter comes up.

Now that that is done… I'm probably sure everyone's figured out that SOMEONE will DIE. Fortunately, I am not one for angst so even the DEATH will have comedy. Just wait and see.

Now, I shall cease my senseless ramblings, and go on with the fic.

* * *

**K/K Beauty Salon Part 3**

Forever and a Day: Love and the Daring Escape.

Erimus and George were hard at work getting the town back into shape and escorting the women and children home. Glenn had made sure the school and temple were both structurally sound and free of bodies and blood. During his sweep, he found Salrin, brooding in a corner and sucking his thumb.

"Is it over?" He asked.

"Yes…" Glenn said. "It's over."

"This place is scary." Salrin said.

Glenn just nodded. He left Salrin to his thumb sucking. A bit later, Aminec came over.

"What's wrong boy?" She asked.

"I'm scared." Salrin said.

"Of what? It's over, now pick yer ass from the floor and move or else I'll sweep you out with the rest of the trash." Aminec gestured to the cliff where she had previously flung countless bodies over the cliffs. Reluctantly, Salrin got up and shuffled from the room. Aminec watched him shuffle. For some reason, he reminded her of herself.

The boarder guards Lee, Aeros and Sharn were unfortunately trapped in the restaurant during the siege and could offer no help, but when they got out, they went to the residential area to help out with some reconstruction.

Samantha had fainted after her quite literally inhuman feat. Brian had taken her home to rest.

All the while, the members of Eliwood's Elite were blissfully unaware that such a battle even took place. They all went about their business.

Lyn and Heath were the only ones who knew about the bandit attack, but they were both nearly dead with exhaustion after the battle. Thankfully, the bandits were dumb enough to actually charge at them one at a time. The two struggled up to their rooms tired and sore. When they got to their room, Lyn summarily forgot Heath existed, stripped out of her torn and dirty clothes revealing quite a stunning sight to the now immobilized Heath, and jumped into the bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

Heath stared at Lyn's nude form lying on top of the covers. The knight part of him wanted to turn around and run away while the man part of him wanted to stand there and drool for a while before doing various… things to her. After a fierce battle between his conscience, Heath compromised. He walked up to the bed, drooling slightly and with a nosebleed, lifted Lyn's body slightly to get the covers out from under her and then wrapped them around her tightly. After making sure that Lyn was pretty much tied up but could still breathe, Heath took off his armor and snow gear, leaving his undershirt and boxers, and flopped onto the other side of the bed. He hoped to god when he woke up, he would still be where he was and Lyn would still be tied up. Heath slowly drifted to sleep; blissfully unaware of the Silent Springs Motto… anything that CAN go wrong…WILL go wrong.

Outside, Lucius and Bartre were seated at a bench in the town square. Lucius had a copy of the "Young Lycian's Hooked on Phonics" out and was showing Bartre various colorful cards with words and pictures on them. Bartre, however, was more interested in the colors and the pictures rather than the pronunciation key.

"Bartre, it's Tr-EE." Lucius said. "Tr-EE"

"Tur-WEE!" Bartre repeated.

Lucius sighed. "I might as well give you a Rorschach, it be just as effective…" Lucius muttered. He didn't catch himself in time.

"AHHH! BIG WORDS HURT BARTRE HEAD!" Bartre yelled. He pushed Lucius off and picked up the bench. "DIE YOU EVIL PERSON!"

"Bartre! STOP!" Lucius yelled. He pulled out a sleep stave that Jessica allowed him to have. "DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!"

Bartre stopped at the sight of the stave. He calmed down and put the bench down. Lucius picked himself up from the ground and sighed. "Forget it, lets just stop for today, this is getting no where."

He and Bartre then left the town square. Lucius was seen hugging his hair and crying.

While Lucius passed the inn on his way to the temple to pray for the safety of his hair, Erk and Rebecca emerged. Erk was wearing his normal shirt, pants and long red cape along with a scarf and some snow boots.. Rebecca however changed into a light green blouse and dress. She wore a green scarf and a coat over her blouse to guard against the snow.

As the couple walked towards the shopping center smiling and chatting, three ominous figures shadowed them with a malicious aura. If Erk and Rebecca hadn't been engrossed in their conversation, they would've noticed that three very out of place bushes were following them across the street. But they were, so the three "bushes" got across the street safely without detection, only because the only other person who was out walking at the time, Jessica, was amused by the fact that the Erky-Poo fanclub would be trying their old stunts again even though their previous ones had gotten them nearly killed. She decided to walk away for now, smiling inwardly at the possibilities. She would warn Erk and Rebecca later, but knowing the Erky-Poo fanclub, they would HELP the couple more than break them apart. So she left, but not before picking up three mounds of snow and tossing them into the bushes, eliciting a small yelp from the three.

Erk and Rebecca walked blissfully ignorant of their stalkers into the shopping center. Sonia greeted the happy couple and handed them a map of the center. It was pretty much straight forward: groceries, health, and miscellaneous items on the bottom floor, weapons on the second floor, magic tomes on the third floor, games and clothes on the fourth floor, hardware and tools on the fifth floor, and sporting goods on the sixth floor. Erk and Rebecca glanced at the map. Erk had promised to buy Rebecca a new outfit, so the happy couple headed for the stairs for the fourth floor.

Sonia watched the happy couple go up the stairs, then turned around to see three bushes in front of her, and one of them was holding out a sleep stave.

"Where are they?" The lead bush demanded. Sonia nonchalantly pulled out a small letter opener from under her register and smashed the orb mounted on the sleep stave, rendering it useless. Before the bushes could react, the sniper had her bow out and an arrow notched.

The lead bush, which was Serra, cursed at her luck. She and her comrades shed their disguises.

"Where are they?" Serra demanded again. Sonia at that point really considered shooting the insolent little girl, but she decided not to. She realized she could do something to her that would be MUCH more satisfactory.

"Stairs." Sonia said. "Don't know which floor though."

"That's okay." Serra said. She and her posse moved towards the stairs and went up. Sonia had a funny hunch they would try to use the weapons in the third floor against Erk and Rebecca, so she stepped into a little personal warp portal Brian installed behind the counter. It was time to switch a few labels.

Sonia got to the third floor in about three seconds. She was glad that Serra and her gang were taking so long to get upstairs. She moved in and around the staves area.

"Hmm…" Sonia mumbled to herself. "Berserk Stave…Poison Stave…Death Stave…Purgatory Stave…Hellfire Stave…Lust Stave…" She stopped at the last one and got an evil grin. She took and entire batch of Lust Staves and spread them all around the rest of the stave section, knowing that if Serra decided to use one, it would harm her mission rather than help it. Then she innocently stepped behind the counter at the third floor and waited for the girls to come up.

When Serra, Priscilla and Nina arrived at the third floor, they all flinched when they saw Sonia standing behind the counter. Only when the woman pointed behind her at the warp portal did the three conspirators understand. They began to look around for weapons to use against Rebecca.

Serra picked out and Aura book. While there, she saw something interesting. She decided to take it to Sonia.

"What is this?" She asked Sonia.

"Ivaldi." Sonia said. "It's a light magic tome I found drifting at sea once when in Badon. Nobody can use it though because it's in a foreign language."

"Then why does it cost over a million gold?" Serra asked.

"Collector's Item of course!" Sonia said. "So what are you getting?"

"Just the Aura." Serra said, putting Ivaldi aside. Sonia nodded and rang her up. After Serra, Nino and Priscilla came over with Elfire tomes and to her pleasure, a Lust Stave.

"Why the stave?" Serra asked.

"It was listed as 'Hellfire Stave.'" Nino said. "It might be interesting."

"That thing basically sends your targets into a fiery hell." Sonia explained.

"Well, that works." Serra said. "How much for all this?"

"Twelve hundred gold." Sonia said.

Serra paid with gold she swiped from Kent this morning after he had left for an early breakfast. They quickly made their way up the the fourth floor where Erk and Rebecca were happily shopping together.

Serra, Nino and Priscilla hid among the racks filled with clothing while they watched Rebecca periodically go into a dressing room and come out with a new outfit everytime and showing it off to Erk, who always had something enthusiastic to say.

"How about this?" Rebecca asked coming out in a revealing satin dress.

Erk whistled. "I like it…" He eyed the cleavage that the dress revealed. "I like it a lot."

Rebecca followed Erk's eyes and smacked him lightly. "Bad Erk!" She said giggling. "Lemme go change back and maybe I can actually decide on something."

"Or I can just buy you all of them." Erk said.

"All of them!" Rebecca asked. "I've had like five or six outfits that I liked."

"Eh, it's okay." Erk said. "Besides, it's fifty gold if I buy in sets of five or six."

"How do you know that?" Rebecca asked. Erk pointed to a hastily scribbled sign on the wall. "It says it right there, even though I don't remember seeing that when we got up here."

"Hehe, okay! Let me just get all my stuff." Rebecca said. She leaned over and kissed Erk lightly on the cheek, making the sage blush. She then retreated back into the dressing room.

Sonia silently crawled into the fourth floor warp point, glad that nobody had seen her put up that really bad sign.

Meanwhile, Serra, Priscilla and Nino were making puking motions at Erk and Rebecca.

"I think it's time we burn that smug bitch into cinders." Serra said.

"Lets go!" Nino said. They waited for Rebecca to emerge, then from the distance, let loose two Elfire bolts at the sniper.

Erk saw the Elfire bolts launch at Rebecca from long distance. Quickly, he stepped in front of the sniper and took the blasts head on, relying on his resistance to magic to keep himself from being slaughtered.

"ERK!" Rebecca yelled. She quickly dropped her clothes and ran over to Erk who was kneeling from the hits.

"Are you okay!" Rebecca asked.

"I'm fine…" Erk groaned. "A bit sore, it's been a few days since I got hit with anything aside from arrows."

Rebecca turned red as Erk gave her a goofy grin.

"I'm just kidding." Erk said. "Come on, lets get downstairs and pay for this."

"Okay!" Rebecca said. They gathered up her clothes and headed for the stairs. "Oh and thanks for saving my life."

Erk smiled at her. "Anytime."

Rebecca leaned over and kissed him again on the cheek. Erk blushed, putting an arm around her and led her downstairs. Once the couple disappeared, Serra exploded.

"YOU MISSED! HOW COULD YOU TWO MISS! SHE WAS RIGHT THERE!" Serra yelled.

"Hey, it's long distance! And Erky decided to step in!" Nino said.

"Gods you two are useless." Serra said.

"Well, next time we need help hitting someone with Elfire from long range, we'll be sure to ask little Miss Useless Light Magic User." Priscilla said.

"Oh that's it!" Serra said. "It's on now girl!"

"Bring it bitch!" Priscilla screamed. She was getting frustrated. Frustrated at losing Erk, frustrated at Serra, frustrated at the fact that Karel had ripped off the head of a teddy bear and tried to suffocate her with the stuffing earlier this morning. She pulled her Elfire tome while Serra prepped the Aura tome. The two girls were ready to cause general chaos.

Thankfully, an arrow suddenly shot between those two. The turned and saw Sonia standing there with her bow.

"Take it outside girls, I can't have you wrecking this place." She said coolly.

Serra and Priscilla grudgingly stowed their magic tomes and walked silently down the stairs and out the shopping mall, glaring at each other with malevolent intent. Nino tagged along behind in silence, hoping that she wouldn't get caught in the crossfire. After they left, Sonia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Finally…" She said to herself. Then she went about her business inventorying the shop.

Near the school, Charlie waited for Kiyoko to get out. He needed to go over the trail with her and talk to Matthew as well. He waited impatiently for her, pacing back and forth and kicking up snow and dirt. Finally, George let the children go. When Kiyoko came out, nearly crushed by books, Charlie quickly ran up to her and took about five textbooks from her stack.

"What is George doing? Trying to kill you all?" Charlie asked.

"Seems like it…" Kiyoko sighed. "So are we visiting the prisoners as the persecutors?"

"PROsecuter Kiyoko, and yes, we are." Charlie said.

"Right…" Kiyoko said. "So do we have a case?"

"What case?" Charlie asked. "This is going to be a biased, one sided piece of crap against Matthew. We could show a roasted turkey in court, claim Matthew molested it before roasting it, and he would get 20 years to life. It's so unfair that it's not even funny."

"Makes our job easier." Kiyoko said.

"True, but I still wanna have fun." Charlie said. "So lets go see how our prisoner's doing."

The pair arrived at the library. Charlie glanced up and waved at the clouds. "Yo Clive! Clide! Whassup?"

"Fine!" Clive said to Charlie. "Matty here's having fun trying to calculate his chances of surviving those traps."

"Oh come on, he doesn't believe those traps actually work does he?" Charlie said.

"Yes." Clide said.

"Give me a break, nothing in that hallway works. The launchers are all rusted and out of arrows, the crumbling walkway just drops you one story down onto piece of plastic painted to look like lava. That entire trap system is a joke!"

"Wait, does that mean the notorious flux launchers and phantoms are all fake?" Kiyoko asked.

"Hell no, Kev guards the Silent Springs Archive like a Mother Wyvern guarding her eggs. Rumor has it that the room housing the Gem of Silent Hope requires fourteen levels of security passes or else the entire room implodes. The gem is safe in an indestructible box, but everything else is vaporized. And trust me, there are enough Fenrir Generators in there to take down a Dragon.

"That is true." A cryptic voice said. Kiyoko jumped and nearly swiped Charlie's head off with her magically appearing daggers.

"Hey! Watch that thing!" Charlie said ducking

"Sorry…" Kiyoko apologized.

"Come…" Kevin said. "I assume you're here to see the prisoner."

"Yes." Charlie said.

"Umm…hate to break it to you guys." Clide said. "But the prisoner is currently waltzing out of his jail cell and into the archives building."

"Ahh shit…" Charlie said. "I think he heard me say your dungeon defense system is as good as crap. You didn't give him clearance on his entrance card did you?"

"Actually uhh…" Kevin said. "I never expected him to actually ESCAPE so uhh…yeah, I kinda did."

"How much?" Charlie glared.

"Well…umm…" Kevin said. "Basically the same as your card."

"FULL ACCESS!" Charlie screamed.

"Hehe…yeah." Kevin said sheepishly.

Charlie groaned and drew his sword. "Okay, time to go on a manhunt."

The three ran down the hallway, Kevin blasted security barriers whenever they didn't cooperate. They needed to find Matthew.

When Matthew heard the panicked footsteps behind him, he knew he was being followed. Normally, he wouldn't be worried, but after being in Silent Springs for a day and seeing talking clouds and automatic flux launchers, he KNEW anything was possible in this blasted town. In order to survive, Matthew needed to put as much distance as possible between himself and the librarian. He was relieved to see his library access card read "Full Access" after he overheard Charlie say something about useless dungeon defense systems and the Gem of Silent Hope. Matthew wondered if he could get his hands on the Gem, since he was a thief.

So he followed the many complicated and convoluted signs that frequently contradicted each other and spent a good half hour avoiding his pursuers, mainly because they were just as confused by the labyrinth of a library Kevin had. Finally, Matthew found the room. It was a dome shaped room with nothing but a single display case with the most gorgeous gem Matthew has ever seen. He was about to go get a closer view when his pursuers arrived.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Kevin roared. He snapped his fingers and three phantoms appeared around Matthew, their axes ready to slice the man down. "They're armed with Swordslayers, so I wouldn't suggest trying anything." Kevin warned.

Matthew was surrounded. He weighed his odds. If he somehow managed to survive THIS swarm, Kevin could just as easily summon more to kill him. They were phantoms after all and could fly, as well as go through walls. Not even his thief sense could save him from them. So sighing, Matthew dropped his weapons and gave up.

"Okay…" Matthew said. "You win…I give up."

"Good…" Kevin said. He, Charlie and Kiyoko walked in. "Now I suggest-"

A loud rumbling cut him off.

"The hell was that?" Charlie asked.

"That's the Fenrir Launchers." Kevin said. "But…it doesn't make any sense…how…"

Just then, Kiyoko remembered something. "Oh yeah! I think my pass expires today at four. Kevin looked down at his chronometer; it was two minutes past four.

"Ahh…shit…" Kevin managed before the entire room was engulfed in black magic. Kevin barely had time to pull out his barrier stave when the first wave of energy hit him.

When the dust cleared, Kevin stood up coughing. The entire room had been vaporized. Thankfully, his naturally high resistance to magic protected him, but he was unsure of his friends. He looked around. To his relief, Charlie was huddled over Kiyoko in one corner under a pile of rubble. They got up coughing and patting dust from their clothes.

"Christ…." Charlie said. He tossed away a shattered talisman. "You REALLY need to revise that security system."

Kevin nodded. "Where's Matthew?"

Kiyoko got up and moved over. From under her feet, another pile of debris moved over and Matthew emerged, badly burned and scratched.

"Ow…that hurt…" Matthew groaned.

"Well, that's what you get for trying to steal the Gem of Silent Hope." Kevin said. He turned around. "Ahhh crap…"

"Eh?" Charlie asked going up to Kevin.

"The Fenrir Generators are way to strong… looks like half the labyrinth path has been destroyed. And I'll bet everything else is in complete ruins."

Kevin's face fell. It was going to take him weeks to decorate. Charlie shackled Matthew and put a pitying hand on his friend's shoulder.

Suddenly however, Kiyoko came up with and idea.

"I know! I'll get Kate over! K/K Beauty Salon can fix this place up for ya!" Kiyoko said.

The look of absolute fear on Kevin's face almost made Charlie laugh. "Uhh…I don't want to…err…inconvenience you." He said.

"Oh don't worry!" Kiyoko said. "I'll go get her right now!"

"ALREADY HERE!" Kate said She had rushed over upon hearing the loud explosion. "Is this a beauty problem I hear?"

"More like an entire building!" Kiyoko said. "We must get started right now!"

"OKAY!" Kate said. She and Kiyoko began to work on repairing Kevin's library. The librarian was petrified at the thought of what his Library could end up looking like. He even tried to kill the two by summoning his minions of doom and attacking the girls. Unfortunately, he did forget that he was attacking K/K, two of the most feared people on the planet. The phantoms didn't stand a chance as Kate and Kiyoko glomped them to death.

Kevin watched in horror as gallons of light blue and lavender paint were hauled in and miles of pink ribbon and cutesy wallpaper were dragged in. The K/K duo worked with their trademark speed, completely rebuilding the library before dusk.

When they were finished, Kate and Kiyoko couldn't wait to show Kevin their splendid work of art. The librarian however was less than pleased. He kept making excuses not to head into the newly constructed library. But unfortunately, the K/K was way to strong for him to resist.

From the outside, the library looked radically different. The entire structure was painted blue and purple, and the two thunderclouds sported pink ribbons tied around their fluffiness. Clide was proud of his ribbon and went around saying "I look pretty" while Clive just rumbled in place in protest.

Kate ceremoniously cut a huge red ribbon before half leading half dragging a protesting Kevin into the library. Upon entering, the librarian suffered an instant cardiac arrest. The entire room was covered wall-to-wall with brightly colored ribbons and doggy and kitty cat wallpaper. For better or worse, it reminded Kevin of the nursery Karen had set up for her new baby.

As Kiyoko and Kate led Kevin through his archives and halls, his lifespan began to shrink and shrink. Each new addition was like an additional stab onto his heart. By the end of the exhibit, Kevin was nearly dead. Charlie took it upon himself to tell Kate and Kiyoko they did a good job. After escorting the girls out of the room, Charlie went back to the old Librarian. The man was in his false throes of death. The only thing he ever owned desecrated by the insidious force known as the K/K Beauty Salon. Sighing, Charlie pulled out a needle full of sedatives that he kept around in case Kiyoko ever got to hyper. Right now, the Librarian needed it more than ever. Charlie plunged the needle into a vain and injected its contents into the agonized man before him. Within moments, Kevin had fallen asleep. Charlie carried him to his personal room in the library and tucked the man in.

When Charlie walked back out, Kiyoko was waiting for him.

"Does he like it?" She asked.

"He absolutely loved it." Charlie said. "So much that he fainted from the excitement."

"SQUEE!" Kiyoko squealed. Charlie felt a bit guilty about lying to Kiyoko, but it was for the best. Kevin would get over his library in a few days. As for Matthew, he was once again confined to a cell, but he had his access badge taken away. Now he knows that the minute he walks out of the room, fifty flux spells would blast his way. He had no choice but to stay in jail, after all, it was only until tomorrow when he would get exonerated…or so he hoped.

Back at the inn, Erk and Rebecca sat together watching the sunset at the cliff where Kiyoko had just the previous day hurled the innkeeper bodily from the top. Rebecca was leaning slightly into Erk, her head was resting on his shoulders.

Erk wrapped his arm around Rebecca and stroked her hair. He couldn't deny the feelings he had for the sniper. Looking back, he figured that he had liked her since a while back, but being who he was, he could only express it by arguing with her or fighting with her.

Rebecca sighed as she snuggled into Erk for comfort and warmth. She didn't wear as much as she had been and was borrowing Erk's warmth to keep from getting frostbite.

Somehow, Rebecca had saw this coming. She just never expected Erk to feel the same way about her. The purpled haired mage intrigued from the moment she met him that day in Laus. Of course she had responded by tossing an arrow three inches past his head. Since then, she and Erk were inseparable in a way, with their constant arguments and fighting, but with Erk's seemingly lack of comprehension for the human emotion known as compassion, the only way Rebecca seemed to ever get his attention by is to hurt him or fight with him. Sometimes it pained her when she scathed or hurt him too badly. But now everything just seemed right, sitting there snuggled to a man she had always loved.

Serra, Priscilla and Nino of course were hiding behind a few rocks. Serra was getting disgusted at the blatant display of public affection the two were showing. She swore to high heaven that Rebecca's head would be rolling before the day was over. Priscilla and Nino harbored less violent versions of the similar thought. Unfortunately, before the three could compare notes, Charlie and Kiyoko caught them.

"Err…what are you three doing?" Charlie asked.

Serra looked up and blushed. "We're uhh…having a party."

Charlie glanced up at Erk and Rebecca.

"Right…you're having a party. Tell me, why does the party involve two Elfire tomes and an Aura tome?" Charlie asked.

"It's a…MAGICAL party." Serra said.

"You going to stick with that?" Charlie asked.

"Still working on a better one." Serra said.

"Good, now get outta here, let the two have their privacy." Charlie said.

"But, we don't want them to get too close!" Priscilla said.

"It's a bit too late for that." Kiyoko noted pointing at Erk and Rebecca. The Erky-Poo Fanclub turned around and felt their jaws hit the ground. Erk and Rebecca were kissing. Not the little pecks on the cheeks Rebecca gave Erk periodically. They were full on, mouth-to-mouth, exchange of saliva, probably French-style, kissing.

Priscilla and Nino felt ready to cry. They had lost. Serra however, was not one to accept defeat lying down. She jumped out from her hiding place, Aura book in hand and sent a full powered Aura blast towards the couple.

Fortunately for the couple, and unfortunately for Serra, the Aura spell missed, smashed into the side of a mountain, reflected off of a metal and smashed into a shed where Charlie kept his supply of pocky, completely incinerating the building.

"Ahh blast it…" Serra said. "Stupid cross wind. How'd that spell bounce anyways?"

The rubble and smoke cleared, revealing a hidden treasure trove of gold and jewels. It was the hidden wealth of the Mountain Guardian Gang that was lost hundreds of years ago.

"Well, that explains it." Serra said. "Well, girls are we up for another try? …Girls?"

Serra turned around. Priscilla and Nino were petrified with fear. Serra looked at them and their peculiar expressions.

"What's wrong girls?" She asked.

"Charlie's pissed…" Nino said.

"But if I were you, I'd let him kill you before Kiyoko gets her hands on you." Priscilla said.

"Huh?" Serra looked at the innkeeper and his friend. Charlie's eyes were flaming, whereas Kiyoko's entire BODY was seemingly ablaze with the fires of hell.

"Oh…shit…" Serra said. "I take it now would be a good time to run."

"Yes…." Priscilla mumbled. "Now would be an excellent time to run."

The three girls got up and broke for it while Charlie and Kiyoko chased them blazing with their blades out.

Meanwhile, Erk and Rebecca broke off their passionate kiss at the explosion and were thrown to the ground. As Erk helped Rebecca dust herself off, an emerald solitaire set in gold flew from the treasure stash and landed in his lap. Erk picked it up; it matched Rebecca's hair and eyes perfectly.

Then, on whim, he turned to the girl next to him for whom his bottled feelings had finally flown free.

"Rebecca…" Erk said as Rebecca oriented herself. "When this is over…will you marry me?"

Rebecca's eyes widened at the ring in Erk's hands. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Yes…I will…" She said softly. Erk smiled and placed the ring onto her left ring finger. The happy couple than sat back and watched the sun set, giving a beautiful end to the most perfect day of their lives, completely unaware of the screams of pain and terror emitted from a nearby ditch as three female magic users were hunted down and tortured.

* * *

Charlie: Who saw that coming? I saw it coming. You saw it coming ever since the first chapter where Erk and Rebecca wanted to kill each other. Oh well, our first happy couple! But don't expect the Erky-Poo fanclub to take it lying down! Even though Kiyo and I have beat them to within an inch of their lives, they still will fight until the end!

Hehe, okay, hope you liked this! Love ya all! Please review. And remember my Grim Reaper offer.

**Reviewer Corner n.n**

Nightmare: Heh, don't push your luck with Fiora… although… I still HAVE that viagra if you want it. -whistles innocently- Anyways, the bandits are just idiots. They HAVE no republic. POR HONOR! POR GLORIA! POR LA REPUBLICA! MUAHAHAHAH ! -ahem- Well, I hope you liked his chappy !

RWT: Heh, the library is quite the work of art. The security system is one of a kind, only existent in my twisted imagination. As for the bandits, some of them are still alive, the ones that ran that is.

Sword of Seals: Heh, I don't know, ARE you that clumsy? I'll keep your weapon of choice in mind. Did you like your conversation with your mother?

Mierin Eronaile: Lyn was a bit OoC, but I exaggerated her sense of overprotectiveness. Besides, she doesn't have any bandits to take her anger out on, so she has to use Sain. Sain/Florina will always be one of my favorite Flornia pairings (Since seriously…HECTOR!). The bandits are low quality, either that or Kitty is a very good speaker. Don't ask about pocky. And now that I think about it…Samantha killing people with her fans would be funny.

Samantha: Heh, Stewie from Family Guy is funny! As for Brian as Harry Potter…hmm… he looks…well, thin with glasses (The real Brian Chow whom I based my character on). I'd go with Keitaro Urashima from Love Hina. Heh, Stewie knows all your deepest secrets! As for Leila's ghost…meh, don't worry about her. That's Matthew's job. Leila's gonna kill him … Oh and…well…umm…err…actually, I'll tell you later…but I have an idea about your character.

F00l3Al2: Nope, I haven't played FE6, and yeah, this ain't Eliwood/Ninian.

Kevin: Heh, thank you. Kitty deserves a cameo since she is quite the cool bandit leader. You do indeed rule as a Summoner…but… unfortunately NOTHING beats K/K. I swear those two are CRAZY. But I'm sure you knew that n.n

Kiyoko-Chan: Hehe, your ambulance skillz are one of my pride and joys. Hehe, as much as I like being a Zombie err… Zuchinni, it gets annoying trying to type with someone always trying to eat me n.n. Kitty is quite cool with her FLAWLESS battle strategy. And yep, we're still on day two. Hehe, well, stay safe! Eat your pocky! And stay healthy! Don't make me come over and force you to be healthy!

Random Person: Yes, Kevin is based off a FE8 summoner on crack. He can summon multiple phantoms. This story is indeed the love child of my sick twisted mind and imagination. I'm glad you like it.

Jerry: Heh, thanks. As for your berserker idea, I think it's pretty good. You can have a few cameos later on with a couple of other people. But expect to have people like Kevin and Kiyoko toy with you.

Cool-Chan: Summoners do indeed rock. (Screw Ewan as a damn Sage, anybody who does that is stupid…you already have two excellent candidates for Sagehood in Lute and Artur). Hehe, I like your diabolical treatment of Legault! 'Tis quite good.

Kitty: Hehe, well, your bandits do tend to multiply (Though not necessarily in the ways bunnies multiply). Sammy is scary, but she's cool. As for Clide and Clive, nobody beats he cloud twinies!

misSkLutzZz (Sorry if I skewer your name): Hehe, thanks. I'm glad you like it! I'm here to amuse.

DragonLady626: Heh, the Monty Python DvD is cool, but I dunno if I can put that all in. As for Lyn… wait 'till she wakes up this time. I feel so SORRY for Heath. As for the Librarian, he 'tis cool. Just wait and see how he recovers from K/K.

AraminRVN: Ehh, Matt's cool, he just sucks as a character a lot of the times. As for the library, heh, sorry. Our Library is too well lit for that to happen. And Summoners are cool! As for my characters being uber, you can't really say that since these bandits suck.. I mean, what kind of idiots actually charge up a mountain in single file?

FIREEMBLEMFREAK 252: Heh, thanks. I'm glad you like this fic. I will be looking forward to your future works. I've enjoyed your Valentines Day fic. As for Matthew… wait for the trial…the TRIAL is the only thing I actually planned for the fic.

Wow…that took a while to write. Thanks for all your support guys! You're kind comments and suggestions really keep me going on this. I'm sorry again for the lateness of this chapter. I'll be bringing you your regular schedule of two updates per week next week! I love you all!


	13. Dinnertime Chatter

Charlie: Ack! I'm typing! I'm typing! Okidokie, me having finals right nows so me brain is properly fried. Meaning… I'm completely coocoo right now! YAY! But I still can type, so I updates now. Grim Reaper will not be in for a few more chapters so more people can still apply. I'm only taking three applicants… the Grim Reaper, the Second Death and the Grim Reaper's Secretary. And please, if you want to be either…don't give me a fluffy and nice personality.

Okays, now I'll shut up and write.

And I don't own FE, and I might as well write this is Cyrillic next time since everybody knows that I don't own FE.

* * *

**K/K intermission**

Dinnertime Chatter

When Erk and Rebecca walked into the restaurant for dinner, nearly everyone was already there. As the walked in, Rebecca suddenly realized that a gigantic emerald engagement ring on her left ring finger wasn't exactly discrete. Fortunately for her, everyone was too hungry to stare at her hands that much. Erk and Rebecca separated with a light squeeze and left for their usual companions, that is Lucius and Canas for Erk and Louise, Wil and Rath for Rebecca.

"So…how'd the date go?" Canas asked calmly from behind the "Lycian Times."

"Eh…it was good." Erk shrugged.

"Well?" Lucius asked.

"Well what?"

"What happened?" Lucius asked.

"I took her shopping." Erk said. "Then we went to get a bite to eat, then we watched the sunset behind the inn. It wasn't all that fancy."

"Pretty romantic though." Lucius said. "So, when can we expect the kids?"

"…" Erk glared at the blonde monk. "Oh…that's it pretty boy, you're going down."

"Children!" Canas said. "I want to eat. Kill yourselves later."

"Fine…" Erk grumbled. "But we're not having kids anytime soon."

"That's what they ALL say." Lucius said.

"I'm sure you would know." Erk said.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!" Lucius snapped.

"Nothing." Erk chuckled.

Canas just rolled his eyes and continued to read his paper while waiting for the food.

Meanwhile, Rebecca had arrived at her table and was sitting with one hand under the tablecloth. Unfortunately, that made it hard for her to spread butter on her bread.

"Umm…Rebecca dear…" Louise said in a maternal voice. "It would be much easier if you use both hands."

"I'm…okay." Rebecca said. "I uhh…hurt my left hand."

"What!" Wil snapped. "Did Erk have something to do with it! Because if he does, I'll KILL HIM!"

"Nono!" Rebecca quickly stammered. "I slipped on some ice. It'll be fine…don't worry. Erk even helped me heal it."

"Are you sure?" Rath asked. His eyes bore into her. "Or are you hiding something?"

"What would she hide?" Wil asked.

"Hell if I know." Rath shrugged. "But seriously, she's acting suspicious. Wait…why do I even care? Eh…must be that blow from this morning."

Louise sighed. "Come one 'Becca, let me see that hand."

"I'm…okay." Rebecca squeaked.

"Come on dear, I want to make sure you're not infected." Louise walked over and yanked Rebecca's left hand out from under the table.

"Oh…god…" She cried when she saw the ring on her finger.

"…I…was going to tell you…later…I promise!" Rebecca squeaked.

"Well…looks like I was right." Rath shrugged. He went back to munching on some bread.

"Congratulations Rebecca dear!" Louise said. She hugged the green haired sniper with tears welling in her eyes. "Sniff…I'm so happy, my little girl is finally growing up and getting married."

"Louise…I'm not your daughter…" Rebecca choked. Louise was starting to suffocate her. "Louise…I…need…to breathe…"

Louise realized what she was doing and let go of Rebecca, who quickly gasped to catch her breath. She looked around and met Wil's eyes.

"Wil? You…okay?" Rebecca asked.

"Huh?" Wil seemed to be in a trance. "Oh yeah…I'm fine. Congrats Rebecca."

"Wil…" Rebecca said softly. "I'm…sorry."

"Eh…don't worry about it." Wil said. "Just go be happy 'kay?"

"Okay…" Rebecca said.

"As touching as this is…you guys ready to eat?" A voice suddenly spoke from behind the table. They looked up to see Lulu loaded down with plates.

"Oh! Yes!" Louise said. After Lulu had served them, the sniper motioned for her to lean over. "And…will you give the girl something special for dessert, she's engaged."

Lulu looked over at Rebecca and smiled. "Don't worry about it."

A few tables over, Jessica caught a glint of the ring in the corner of her eye and smiled.

"Well…looks like Erk and Rebecca finally hit it off." She said.

"Eh?" Eliwood asked. He and Hector were seated with the tactician again as usual. "How do you know?"

"Look at her freaking hand." Jessica said smacking Eliwood upside the head. "Dear lord you're like staring right at her and you didn't see?"

"Well… I thought th-"

"Don't answer that!" Jessica snapped. "Anyways-"

Jessica stopped when she saw Priscilla, Serra and Nino trudge in. All three look like they were victims in a gang robbery.

"Whoa…what happened to you three?" Jessica asked when the girls got near. "You look like you just got beat up by the mafia."

The three girls groaned and sat down one table over from Jessica.

"No…it's much worse than the mafia." Serra said.

"Scarier too." Nino said.

"And more violent." Priscilla nodded.

"Who?" Jessica asked.

"Charlie and Kiyoko." Serra said. "And just because I incinerated a shed full of some kind of snack."

"Well yeah…" Jessica said. "People usually get pissed if you incinerate their property. How in Elibe did you manage to incinerate an entire shed?"

"Well…it's all that wench Rebecca's fault." Serra huffed.

"My…do I detect a tone of jealousy?" Jessica smiled. "Come on… Erk likes Rebecca…so what? You girls will find better guys."

"Like me!" Eliwood said.

"Don't flatter yourself little miss no-spine." Jessica snarled. "And please…don't try to murder Rebecca anymore… let those two be happy."

"But…" Nino started.

"Look, if you need help, I hear there's a psychologist in this town and that she's pretty good." Jessica said. "I'll ask Lulu for her address if you want."

Serra, Nino and Priscilla looked at each other.

"Fine…" Serra huffed.

Jessica got up and went over to Lulu. After a few moments of conversation, Lulu scribbled something onto a piece of paper and handed it to Jessica. The tactician thanked her and came back, handing the piece of paper with an address to Serra.

"Go talk to her tonight. Her name's Hitomi." Jessica said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my food." The tactician then turned back to her plate.

Serra, Priscilla and Nino stared at the piece of paper then back at Rebecca with her engagement ring.

"Well…looks like it's over." Serra said. "Meh, might as well go right?"

"Sure…" Nino said.

"You two go ahead…" Priscilla said. "I told Karel that I would try again to teach him something tonight."

"Oh man…you're falling for him aren't you?" Serra asked.

"He tried to kill me! No I am not falling for him!" Priscilla said. "I'll be okay, you two go check out the psychologist."

"Eh, your funeral." Serra shrugged.

Jessica rolled her eyes at the exchange going on one table over. She knew that Serra hadn't given up yet, but then knowing her, she would screw things up anyways, so it doesn't really matter. Jessica then looked around again. There were more empty tables than usual. She took a head count.

"The hell? Where are Lyn, Heath and Vaida?" Jessica asked.

"Lyn and Heath disappeared after lunch." Hector said. "As for Vaida, she's still out cold."

"Geez…you'd think that a girl would be happy now that she looks like Aphrodite." Jessica muttered. "Hmm…I wonder what Heath and Lyn are doing."

"Don't ask, don't tell, don't want to know." Hector said.

"Bah." Jessica huffed. "You're no fun."

"Can WE go find out?" Eliwood asked. "I want to know."

"Quite fool!" Jessica snapped. "I wasn't talking to you."

Jessica smirked as slowly, the entire room began to notice Rebecca's left ring finger. She knew it was only a matter of time before Erk, sitting at the opposite end of the dining room, would find out that he had been revealed.

And she couldn't wait to hear what Lucius would say.

Just then, Alan walked in. He scanned the room until he found Kate, Kiyoko and Charlie eating together in a corner. He quickly made his way over.

"Yo…" Alan greeted.

"Hey!" Kiyoko squealed.

"What's up?" Charlie asked.

"What did they do to Kevin? He's a wreck." Alan said. "I just went over to check up on him."

"Why? Is he okay?" Charlie asked.

"He's resting now. But before, he was having seizures and his hypertension was over the roof." Alan reported.

"Really? It couldn't have been that ba-"

"One seventy five over one thirty." Alan said interrupting Charlie. "Pulse was at one hundred twenty nine per minute."

"Holy hell!" Charlie whistled. "How is he still alive?"

"I don't know!" Alan said. "That's like asking him how does he summon those phantoms!"

"Oy…poor guy…" Charlie said. He glanced at Kiyoko and Kate who were chatting away, completely oblivious to the destruction they had wrought on one man's soul.

Meanwhile, up in the inn, Heath was finally waking up from a peaceful slumber. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and gasped in horror when he realized that he wasn't exactly holding a pillow in his arms. He quickly racked his brain trying to remember if anything had happened between him and the naked teal haired Sacaen in his arms.

Try as he might, Heath can only remember tucking Lyn in and then going to sleep on his side of the bed with an undershirt and a pair of boxers on. He couldn't for the life of him remember when he actually got into the covers and started holding Lyn.

But before he could think any more, the teal haired lord began to stir as well.

"Mm…" Lyn moaned snuggling into Heath's chest. "Two more minutes mommy."

"Uhh…" Heath said. "I'm..err… not your mommy."

Lyn suddenly realized that something was wrong. She opened her eyes and saw Heath.

"HEATH!" She screamed. "Ahh!" She let go of Heath and looked under the covers. "ACK! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!"

"Lady Lyndis…there's a very good explanation for this! I swear to you that it's not what it seems to be!" Heath stumbled jumping out of bed.

"Oh really!" Lyn's eyes were flaring now. "So it DOESN'T look like that you're hugging me in my sleep while I'm naked and you're only dressed in your underwear."

"Well…when you put it that way…." Heath mumbled. "But I swear I wasn't doing anything! You took your clothes off and just fell asleep! I tucked you in! I don't even REMEMBER getting under the covers!"

"Oh sure!" Lyn snarled. "That's what they ALL say! YOU WERE TRYING TO RAPE ME!" By now, Lyn had lost all sense of logical and compassionate thinking.

"I wasn't! I swear to St. Elimine that I wasn't!"

"LIAR!" Lyn jumped out of bed.

"Umm…Lyn…" Heath said blushing.

"What is it dead man?"

Heath pointed down. Lyn suddenly realized that she just revealed everything to Heath. Lyn's eyes began to glow. She groped around until she found her robe and put it on. "Heath…do you know what I'm going to do to you?"

"…Kill me?" Heath asked.

"Oh no! I'm not going to kill you." Lyn said. "That would be too nice. I'm going to DESTROY YOU! DISEMBOWEL YOU! DECAPITATE YOU INCH BY INCH UNTIL YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A PILE OF MUSH IN MY HANDS!"

Heath gulped. "I was worried you were going to say that." Before he could act, Lyn lunged for him and wrapped her hands around his throat.

"Ack..can't…we…talk…about this!" Heath struggled. But when he looked up into Lyn's enraged eyes, he knew it would take a miracle for him to live. So… in resignation, Heath began to pray for deliverance.

Meanwhile, another sleepy person in the inn was also beginning to stir.

Vaida groaned, and opened her eyes. She sat up and held her head, it felt as though somebody cut out her brain, chewed it up and spat it back into her head. She couldn't for the life of her remember what had happened before she fainted. All she could recall were the two girls, Kate and Kiyoko, then there was a lot of hair.

HAIR!

Vaida quickly reached around behind her and pulled her now waist length silky blonde hair into view.

"HOLY SHIT!" Vaida cried. "IT WASN'T JUST A NIGHTMARE!"

Quickly, she looked around the room for anything sharp. Her eyes found a letter opener that Hector kept with him for some odd reason. She quickly snatched it and swiped off a clump of her hair, only to have it grow back and shine even brighter.

Vaida dropped the letter opener. She wondered in horror what other parts of her they had changed. Vaida slowly trudged towards a mirror, almost afraid to look into it.

Once she did, the look of shock on her face couldn't be more evident. She looked…gorgeous, like one of those Countesses that Vaida had seen in the Bern Courts. Vaida however, had never bothered to make up or look pretty. She wore dresses only when absolutely necessary and had never bothered to cover up that scar on her face. Now she was looking at a completely different her. Unable to take the change, she turned her head up and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Few doors over, Heath was beginning to see the light.

"Lyn…" He choked. "I'm sorry…but I really didn't rape you…please…don't kill me…I can hear the angels scream already…wait…scream?"

Lyn snapped out of her angry trance. "Wait…I do hear a scream…is that…"

"VAIDA!" Heath said. "Come on! It has to be something bad if it can creep out commander like that!"

"Okay…" Lyn said. "But Heath…I'm still going to kill you."

"I know…" Heath said. "But I'm hoping you'd find it in your heart to spare me after this."

Heath and Lyn scrambled into Vaida's room. They didn't see her but found a rather gorgeous woman lying on the ground crying.

"Umm…excuse me miss…have you seen a woman? She has short blond hair, a scar over her eye, and is…hmm…what's that word…" Heath searched.

"Scary beyond all reason?" Lyn asked.

"Yeah, that's it…scary beyond all reason." Heath said. "Her name is Vaida."

The blonde beauty looked up at him. "It is ME you dolt!" She snapped.

"Wait…COMMANDER!" Heath choked.

"Whoa…that's VAIDA!" Lyn gasped. "The hell!"

"Oh shut up!" Vaida said. "It's not like I WANTED this to happen."

"Yep…that's definitely her." Heath said.

"What happened Vaida? You look…" Lyn couldn't find words.

"Hideous? Retarded? Stupid? Slutty?" Vaida offered.

"Gorgeous…" Heath said breathlessly. Lyn couldn't help but feel a strange pang when she heard Heath's tone.

"Oh shut it." Vaida said. "Now how will I fight? I can't even cut my hair so it won't get into my eyes. It just keeps growing back. I'm going to kill those girls who did this to me."

"Come on Vaida…" Lyn said. "Don't say that."

"Yeah…besides…maybe now you won't scare your own allies." Heath said. "And you look great… I definitely like the new you better."

'There it goes again…' Lyn thought as another pang of some strange emotion shot through her.

"Bah…" Vaida said. "Like I have a choice now… come on… I'm starved."

"Lets go!" Heath said. He took Vaida's hand and led her out. On the way out, he looked back at Lyn.

"You coming?" Heath asked.

Lyn snapped out of her little Reverie. "Huh? Oh yeah…I'm coming…" Lyn said.

'Blast…' Lyn cursed to herself as she left with Vaida and Heath. 'What is this feeling…I have in my heart! Could it be…nah…it couldn't…could it?'

But as Lyn watched Heath chat happily with Vaida… she became more and more worried…that she was actually jealous.

Back in the restaurant, the entire army had by now found out Rebecca and Erk were engaged. Some of the older folk like Marcus and Merlinus didn't really care, and to many people such as Kent and the Pegasus Sisters, it was mere trivia. Lucius however…was a different story.

"OH MY GOSH! ERK!" Lucius squealed. "HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME! WE MUST PLAN THE WEDDING NOW! OH IT'S GONNA BE SO CUTE! CAN I BE THE BRIDESMAID PLEASE! PWEAAAAAAAASE!"

"LUCIUS!" Erk stormed. He was already flushed from the constant congradulations and back slaps and multiple requests to see him lock lips with his betrothed. "THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU! BECAUSE YOU TAKE EVERYTHING AND BLOW IT INTO AN INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT!"

"OHHH! YOU MUST WEAR PINK! I HAVE A PURDYFUL PINK SUIT FOR YOU TO WEAR!" Lucius continued completely oblivious to Erk's ranting. Erk sighed and put his face in his hands.

Then he felt someone snuggle into his arm. He turned and saw Rebecca's smiling face.

"Hehe…looks like our secrets out." She said.

Erk smiled. "Yeah…but they were going to find out anyways." He glanced at Lucius jabbering on and on to poor Canas. "I only wish Lucius would shut up."

"Hehe…" Rebecca giggled. She pulled a chair closer to Erk and sat down, hugging him lightly. "I dunno… you in a pink suit sounds quite fun."

"Oh, don't you start." Erk growled. Rebecca giggled again at her Fiancée's indignation.

Jessica saw the happy couple together and her gears began to turn. Remembering her sister's wedding, she took her fork and began taping a drinking glass with it. Soon, everyone followed suit and the entire restaurant burst into the clinking of silverware on glass. Erk and Rebecca flushed, realizing what everyone wanted them to do. When they found out that the company present wouldn't relent, they had no choice. Turning to face each other, the couple leaned in until they could feel each other's breaths…then just before the big moment, the door flew open and Heath, Lyn and a mysterious blonde woman walked in.

"Saved by the blonde…" Erk muttered. Rebecca smacked Erk playfully and giggled.

"Heath!" Hector said. "Lyn! Where were you two?"

"Sleeping." Heath said.

"And no, not the way you're thinking about it." Lyn added.

Hector shrugged.

"So…who's the beauty behind you?" Sain asked.

"It's me maggot!" Vaida snapped. "Vaida!"

The members of Eliwood's Elite who haven't seen the new Vaida yet, dropped their forks. Most of the guys began to drool in one way or another, which didn't bode well for Erk or Pent since Louise and Rebecca were quite smack happy today.

"This is a joke right?" Eliwood asked. "Please tell me this is a joke."

"Does it LOOK like a joke to you?" Jessica asked. "I mean this is VAIDA, she hates looking pretty."

Vaida ignored the murmers around her as she walked to an empty table. Heath followed her since there weren't any empty chairs left anywhere else. He was followed by Lyn, who was still fighting a very one-sided battle with her emotions.

Rebecca leaned into Erk again, glad that people weren't focusing on her and her engagement to the man who was now serving as her cushion.

Soon, people finished up their dinners and began to shuffle out of the room. Erk and Rebecca snuck out early to go to their spot behind the inn to watch the stars. Marcus and his group of thirty up people left to initiate their club and Serra and Nino left early to get a head start on the long hike to Hitomi's house. Most of the Silent Springs residents present were in the back chatting with Lulu and Fae.

Jessica, Hector and Eliwood lingered to discuss politics and tactics while some of the stragglers finished their meals. Heath, Lyn and Vaida were eating in silence.

And Karel had left his sister's side and was now storming up to Priscilla. The poor girl shivered when the stern swordmaster glared at her.

"Well?" Karel asked. "Will you continue your futile efforts to show me the quote…errs of my ways, or have you given up and will let me kill you?"

Priscilla looked up at Karel fearfully. "No…" She said softly, trying to muster up as much courage as she could. "I will never give up…no matter what."

"I admire your courage." Karel said. "Well then…where do we go?"

Priscilla thought for a while. "Meet me in the town square. Make sure you're wearing something comfortable."

Karel nodded. "I'll be there." He then walked out leaving the red haired girl to breathe a sigh of relief. She only hoped that her plan worked…

And if it didn't…she always will have one last resort to turn to…Priscilla only hoped she would never need to turn to it.

Sighing, Priscilla got up and walked out of the restaurant, expecting full well another fruitless session.

* * *

Charlie: Meh… there ya go…I wanted to put more stuff in, but I need to study so might as well finish here. Anyways… I need to run something by you guys… I probably already know what some of you are going to say…but anyways…I really want the month of August just…off. No school, no writing, no nothing. Which means…well, I'll be taking an entire month off from this fic or at least slow my updating a bit…because I really need a break. My brain's literally blowing circuits and I'm literally getting nightmares of this fic…it's creepy…

So…just feed back on the break thing…if you guys have a better month for me to take a break…let me know…I'll try to accommodate (Just don't say the month after I finish the fic you wise crackers)

Well anyways, I hope that chapter was adequate. I'll get the next chappy up by Friday or Saturday. Love ya all!

**Reviewer's Corner n.n**

DespairSpreader: Heh…seriously? Well anyways. We'll see if you make the Grim Reaper part. If not, you can be the second death (Grim Reaper's Father…yes…I stole it from Family Guy). And yes, that did remind me of a ASB election. Heh, well, glad you like this!

TroyBoy: Obsessed with cheese eh? That'll be interesting.

InfernoHero: ACK! SORRY! SORRY! I BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS! No really, I really am sorry. Heh, the RossxLute thingy was cute. And umm…no, Death doesn't take Stewie from Samantha.

SacredBlade: Heh, thanks. Will do!

Jackswitch: Yes! K/K did give Kevin a heart attack! And yeah, unfortunately the K/K series will end with its finale (Which is next chapter). Vaida woke up…looks pretty, same old cruddy attitude.

NorthernSword: Heh, thanks! I'll try my best to keep this up to scratch.

Kiyoko-Chan: Hehe, nah, you must eat more than pocky to be healthy! And the lust staff has yet to be used, but it will be…soon. And death staffs cost around ten grand per. They're highly overrated though. As for Heath… well, he was close to death. I'm sure Lyn would like to kill him later …IF she decides she isn't obviously in love with him. Okays! I shall work hard to get to the trial so you can PROsecute n.n. Stay safe! Eat your veggies! Take care of yourself! Love yas!

Draknal: Heh, I think I finally cleared up that little misconception about pocky. As for pairings…this is mainly a filler chapter (Yeah…I know…guilty as charged…but I need some rest.) As for the wedding thing…oh… you'll find out what they intend to do soon… because we all know… a psychologist in Silent Springs could very well be crazy herself.

Aramin RVN: Heh, poor Kevin. We must give him a salute, as well as some penicillin. As for your fic…I read it already! It's good! I've just…erm been slacking off on reviewing since..well, finals and crap. I go reread and review now -nod-. Well, hope you liked this… yeah…it is fillerish…but I'm getting overworked in school right now.

Whitedragonghost: Heh ,thanks. I know my explanations are sometimes a bit shady, I'm still trying to work on that. Hopefully it'll get better.

Law Who Mai: Eh, don't worry, I'll put up that warning. But then again…nothing that inappropriate would show up anytime soon, plus you know I'll make a crack at it (Like the Lyn/Heath thing).

misSkLutzZz (again sorry if I butchered your name): Quite the recipe for disaster eh? I had to let Heath live though…otherwise we won't get to make fun of Lyn and Heath.

Samantha: Heath got a nosebleed…but I think Lyn just got lightheaded from all that fighting. It ain't that hentai, I can do worse (but you didn't hear that n.n). Hehe, I'll torture the archers some more! They can do …evil stuffs! (I'll think of something, don't worry!). As for Stewie…well, he doesn't really get a physical form…just looks like who he's possessing, so right now…he looks like you (scary…I know.) Hehe, and we'll remind Brian about the Nosferatu book.

Nameless Guy: Yep…Lyn shall be mad! And your name as been added to the list of hopefuls!

RWT: Dude…those bandits multiply like bunnies…I swear. And knowing Rebecca…she'd probably DO that. As for the pocky incident…yeah… don't do that to Kiyoko…she'll kill you. Don't destroy my shed either…I'll kill you. Hehe, we're violent peoples!

KevinC: Hehe, yep! Umm…as you can probably tell you're still not…recovered from the library incident. Hehe, you'll come back, don't worry! As for Kate and Kiyoko…seriously, that's the only way I actually see them killing those phantoms, it's quite an interesting image if you can actually picture it. The Erky-poo fanclub will be back… oh no, they ain't letting no engagement ring stand between them and Erk! We'll just have to see to their future antics!

Nightmare3: Heh, I'll be looking forward to the next FE high! Karel's lessons are coming up soon! And the Lust staff…. -hands him one secretly- …Fiora DOESN'T know about this okay? I don't need her to come after me.

Charlie: …my…fingers…they hurt n.n Hehe! Wow, I'm glad so many people like this! I hope it continues to be good! I love you all!


	14. Midnight Marauders

Charlie: Well, hello all! Sorry about the lame ass filler chapter last time. I'll try to make this one not as fillerish. Anyways, the moment we've all been waiting for…the Finale of the K/K Beauty Salon Series. Warning…there are rather disturbing images in here of various cruel tortures… do NOT read if you have a queasy stomach or a lack of appreciation for cruel humor.

But I'm sure nobody here falls under that category since y'all enjoyed seeing Heath get strangled. Well, on with the show. Oh and yes, the lust staff is used in this chap… I'm not writing a lemon, but yes, you can DEFINITELY tell what they're doing.

* * *

**K/K Beauty Salon Finale**

Midnight Marauders

Priscilla stepped out into the twilight. There was a light drizzle of snowflakes gently falling from the sky and with the Christmas lights and darkening day, it looked really peaceful and surreal. Priscilla gazed at the red and green staves glowing in place of the normal torch staves and remembered that Christmas was only five days away. She smiled, thinking about how fun Christmas in Silent Springs would be.

Sighing, she headed over to the town square, remembering that there would be a chance she won't live to see Christmas. The town square was where the main road widened into a huge square before narrowing again into the mountain path out of Silent Springs. The Square was surround on both sides by fences and sheer cliffs. There's an entrance to the inn as well for easy access. Priscilla got there and looked around for any sign of Karel. Not surprising, the silent swordmaster was already there, leaning against a light post and glaring at her.

"You're late…" Karel growled.

"Sorry…" Priscilla mumbled. "Let's get started."

"Very well, if you insist on this pointless exercise, so be it." Karel said. "But know that I am only doing this to humor my sister. In less than a fortnight when you fail, I will finally be able to kill you."

"Then I must see to it that I don't fail now." Priscilla said. "Are you cold?" She noticed Karel wasn't wearing much more than his regular clothes and an extra jacket.

"I'll live." Karel said. "So what is the pointless task you wish for me to perform today?"

"Come with me." Priscilla said walking towards the center of the plaza.

Karel followed her looking perplexed. He wondered what possible good would standing in the middle of the plaza do for him, but then again, he was just curious. He knew it wasn't going to work; human emotions have long been a cryptic subject for him. Priscilla stopped in the middle of the plaza, and Karel went up to stand next to her. He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"And…what now?" He asked.

Priscilla flopped onto her back in the snow. "Come, join me." She said.

Karel stared at the red haired Valkyrie. "You expect me to lie in the snow with you?"

"Yes…" Priscilla said. "It's not much different from the grass. It's a bit softer and colder, but you should be used to it."

"This is foolish." Karel said.

"Don't make me tell you sister." Priscilla threatened.

Karel sighed and flopped down next to the girl. "Fine…"

"Okay…now…just look at the stars." Priscilla said.

"…And?" Karel asked. "Do you wish me to tell you what I think of when I see the stars?"

"No…" Priscilla said. "I've tried that this morning, unfortunately, when you saw things like even teddy bears you thought about how to suffocate people. So tonight, I just want you to look at the stars. Relax, be at peace."

"How is this supposed to help me?" Karel asked.

"Just shut up and relax already." Priscilla huffed.

"Whatever…" Karel said. He decided it was no use trying to talk sense into the crazy girl, so he just sank into the soft snow and gazed up at the twinkling jewels in the sky. 'Hm…well…at least it's pretty…" Karel thought.

Priscilla too was staring up at the sky, but out of the corner of her eye, she monitored her pupil. Priscilla knew that force feeding Karel morals and kindness would most likely result in him going on a genocidal rampage, so she thought it would be best to let nature unlock the seal he put on his own human emotions. Priscilla knew Karel wasn't born a murderous maniac, as proven by the fact that Karla was one of the nicest girls Priscilla knew. Somehow, something in the past had caused him to shun his humanity. So now, Priscilla would try to slowly bring him back to terms with himself.

'After all…the person we are in conflict the most with is ourselves…' Priscilla thought. 'If I can put him at physically peace…then maybe he can do it mentally.'

Priscilla sighed; stars were beautiful, and much brighter than what could be seen from a city. She realized how close to nature Silent Springs really was. It was calming and peaceful.

Meanwhile, the rest of the army was planning on turning in early. Tomorrow would be a trial where one of their friends could possibly be sentenced to death. They needed to be rested in case the defense calls any one of them up to the stand, so most of the pairs had for better or worse gone to their rooms.

However, not everyone was asleep or planned to go to sleep anytime soon. Marcus, Oswin, and Merlinus were all up, waiting for everyone to go to sleep. They were going to initiate the 'Thirty and up" club of Eliwood's Elite at it's first secret Midnight Meeting. All three were very excited about the club, considering all the young people with their romance basically ignore them. They were, as they felt, the most unappreciated members of the army. So they sat in the lobby, waiting for everyone to go to bed so they could begin.

As they waited, they saw Jessica, Hector and Eliwood walk into the lobby. Hector and Eliwood headed upstairs, but Jessica stayed back to chat with the innkeeper and his female friend.

"Charlie…" Jessica greeted.

"Jessica." Charlie acknowledged. "So… ready for tomorrow?"

"As ready as I can be." Jessica said. "I will get Matthew off."

"I know." Charlie said. "But we do have enough evidence."

"As do I." Jessica said. "Well, good luck."

"You too." Charlie said.

Jessica then headed upstairs. Charlie watched her disappear into the darkness and went back to his work. Kiyoko, who was sitting at one of the chairs at the bar looked up at him.

"Will we win?" She asked him.

"I know we will." Charlie said. "You know that those trials are rigged."

"Hehe." Kiyoko giggled.

"Well, I'm gonna head home." Charlie said. "You sure you'll be alright going home alone later?"

"I'll be fine." Kiyoko said.

"Heh, you better be, or else your old man would kill me." Charlie said. "Heck, on his deathbed, he grabbed my throat and told me he would turn over in his grave and kill me if anything happened to you."

"Hehe, he liked you." Kiyoko said. "And hated you at the same time."

"Heh, I took care of his little girl yet was never really military material." Charlie said. "Oh well, I'll see you later."

"Okays!" Kiyoko said as Charlie walked out. Kiyoko sat at the bar a little long, scribbling down answers to the horrendously long assignment Geroge had assigned. She took out a pack of Pocky that Charlie always had out and munched on a stick.

Just then, Kate barged in.

"Hiya Kiyo!" Kate said. "So, waiting for the next meeting?"

"Erm, didn't Charlie said that there wasn't going to be a meeting tonight?" Kiyoko asked.

"I thought there was." Kate said. "Nobody ever told me anything."

"Are you sure?" Kiyoko asked.

"Positive!" Kate said. "I think it's something to do with the trial, so Charlie didn't want you around."

"But…I'm a persecutor!" Kiyoko said.

"Prosecutor dear." Kate corrected. "I heard it was about how Matthew raped Samantha…so Charlie didn't want you scarred."

"Aww…. Should I go home then?" Kiyoko asked.

"Nah, I don't see what the big deal is." Kate said. "So, mind if I wait with you?"

"Okays!" Kiyoko said. "But don't tell Charlie that I want to stay."

"What's he going to do anyways? You'll just either give him the puppy-dog eyes or threaten to kill him and he'll let you get away with murder." Kate said.

"Hehe!" Kiyoko giggled. "Okay, well, I gotta finish homework."

"I'll help!" Kate said.

Meanwhile, in the town square, the two stargazers were getting sleepy. Something about staring at the sky while lying in the snow was very soporific. As Priscilla struggled to keep her heavy eyelids from shutting, she looked over to Karel. Surprisingly, the swordmaster was already asleep. Priscilla wondered if her treatment actually worked, but then decided that he was just bored out of his wits and fell asleep. Prscilla sighed; it was another failed attempt.

Just then, two figures appeared over her.

"Umm… do you need help?" A soft female voice said. Priscilla looked up and saw the dancer girl, Ninian standing over her.

"I'm just a bit tired." Priscilla said. "Karel's asleep…you don't suppose you could help me carry him in would you?"

Ninian looked over to the person next to her, Priscilla saw a long braided ponytail and figured it was Guy.

"Umm…sure." Guy said. "But Karel's not asleep…I think he passed out from hypothermia."

Priscilla shot up and saw that Guy had a hand of Karel's wrist and was trying to take a pulse. "Oh my god! I killed him!" She squealed.

"No you didn't." Guy said. "He's just out. But seriously, why did you make him lie in the snow with this little on? It was a hypothermia case waiting to happen."

"I…guess I wasn't thinking." Priscilla said. "He said he would be okay."

"Well, we best be getting him inside." Guy said picking up Karel. Ninian moved over to give him a little help. The three then carried the frozen swordmaster into the inn and placed him next to one of the boilers.

Kate saw the three visitors trying to defrost the swordmaster and wondered if someone had froze to death. She got out a heal staff and walked over.

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"Karel was lying in the snow with only a jacket on." Priscilla said frantically. "Can you help him?"

"Eh?" Kate asked. She looked at Karel's near frozen state. "Oh in that case…sure." She put away her heal staff and took out a lightning tome. "Stand back!" Kate yelled as she sent bolts of light into Karel's frozen body.

The effect was instantaneous. Karel immediately shot up, howling in pain.

"HOLY HELL!" He cried pulling out his killing edge and slashing at Kate. "THE HELL WAS THAT FOR WOMAN!"

Kate calmly dodged the killing edge and pulled her heal staff again. Then with all her strength, she crashed the staff down onto Karel's head, shattering the orb atop the staff in the process. Karel's eyes instantly blacked out and he crashed to the floor bleeding slightly on the head.

Priscilla jumped. "HOLY HELL! YOU KILLED HIM!" She jumped at Kate. "WHY DID YOU KILL HIM!"

"He's still alive." Kate said pulling out a mend staff. Guy and Ninian were beginning to wonder how big the pockets in her robes were. "I just knocked him out. And you for one are quite defensive of someone who tried to slice you in half before." Kate held the mend staff over Karel and began sending healing magic into his body. "Or did something happen that we don't know about?"

Priscilla suddenly realized how awkward of a position she was in. She quickly flushed and backed off, letting Kate tend to her work. After a while, Kate stood up and stowed away her staff.

"Okay, I've cleaned, disinfected and accelerated the healing process in his wounds as well as helped his hypothermia. But he needs rest. A mend stave can only do so much.

Priscilla thanked Kate and once again, She, Guy and Ninian picked Karel up and hauled him off. Kate watched the trio disappear with the body and went back to Kiyoko.

"I think Priscilla is starting to fall in love with Karel." Kate said.

"Mew?" Kiyoko asked as she munched on some more pocky and finished up her homework.

"I don't think she realizes though." Kate said.

"Hehe, oh well." Kiyoko shrugged. She looked outside at the falling snow. "You think it's almost midnight?"

"Not even close." Kate said. "Wanna go take a dip in the hot springs? The pervert isn't here."

"Hehe, okays!" Kiyoko said.

The two girls packed their stuff and headed across the street towards the hot springs where they relaxed in the warm waters and chatted happily about various topics.

In the residential zone, Serra and Nino were approaching a small house in one of the smaller villas closer to the schoolyard. Serra glanced at the address. "We're here." She announced. Nino bounded to the door and knocked a few times. After a while, the door opened and a beautiful young girl with long black hair answered the door. The girl wore a plain blouse and dress and shivered at the cold air that blasted through the door.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"We're umm, looking for a Hitomi?" Serra said. "She's the psychologist."

"That's me." Hitomi nodded. "Can I help you?"

"Well, we've got some problems…can you help us with them?" Nino asked.

Hitomi shrugged. "Sure, now come on in before I freeze."

Serra and Nino quickly went in and Hitomi slammed the door. "Go have a seat on the couch. I'll go get some tea."

Serra and Nino went into the living room and sat down. Hitomi came back later with three cups of hot tea, which the girls drank gratefully. Hitomi took out a notepad.

"Okay…so what's the problem?" Hitomi asked.

"Well…" Serra began. "It's a guy."

"A guy…" Hitomi said. She looked at Nino. "And you?"

"Same." Nino said. "Same guy."

Hitomi whistled. "Wow…lucky guy…go on."

"Well…he's engaged." Serra said. "And well, we're having a hard time getting over him."

"Engaged you say…was he engaged when you two started stalk- err I mean liking him?" Hitomi asked.

"No." Serra said. "He was engaged only recently. To a girl who he barely even knew."

"Are you sure about that last statement?" Hitomi asked.

"Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. But still." Serra said. "We just need help."

"I don't see how psychological help would do anything for you." Hitomi said. "You just need to learn to let go."

"That's our problem…we went as far as to trying to murder his fiancée." Nino said.

"Wow…" Hitomi whistled. "Okay… why don't you try something different?"

"Different?" Serra asked.

"Yeah, try to take an interest in other things, maybe even other people. You'll find that your feelings for this guy was just a simple little thing." Hitomi said.

"But… we know it's not." Serra said. "Don't you have some kind of super medicine?"

"No." Hitomi said. "Life doesn't work that way. You need to learn to let go. Just do what you think is right in your heart, I'm sure you'll find the answer."

Serra and Nino thought for a while. "I think…I want to do something."

"Do you think it's right?" Hitomi asked.

"Yes!" Serra said.

"Then go." Hitomi said. "Anything to get your mind off this man."

"Come on Nino." Serra said. "We're gonna use that hellfire staff."

"Whoa…wait…" Hitomi interrupted. "Hellfire staff? No, that's bad."

"Okay, thanks doc!" Serra said. "We're off to go hellfire Rebecca now."

"No wait!" Hitomi said as Serra and Nino bounded out the door. "That's not what I meant! I meant something to… ahh forget it." Hitomi shrugged. "Those hellfire staves are more or less novelty items."

Serra and Nino nearly sprinted all the way back to the inn. When they burst in, the three older men seated in the lobby stared at the two.

"What happened to you two?" Marcus asked.

"Stuff." Serra said. She pulled out a elegant looking stave. "See you guys around."

She and Nino bounded up the stairs.

"Ahh, youth of today." Oswin muttered. "I think that's everyone."

"Good!" Marcus said. "Now we can begin the first meeting of the Eliwood's Elite's exclusive Thirty and up club! Now, first officer Merlinus shall take roll.

"All present and accounted for sir." Merlinus said.

"Excellent." Marcus said. "Now, we must begin our initiation ceremony with the pouring of the sacred tea. Oswin, whenever you're ready."

Meanwhile, Kate and Kiyoko were feeling a bit pruney in the hot springs. So the girls got out and decided to go back into the inn and wait for the meeting to start. However, when they got near the inn, the heard some weird singing. Silently, both girls snuck up to the door and watched a bizarre scene take place ahead of them.

Marcus was dressed in a long flowing robe of an Archbishop of Etruria while Oswin and Merlinus were decked out in black priest cassocks. Marcus was chanting in an obscure language while Oswin poured three cups of tea from a black tea pot and Merlinus read from a Eliminian Bible.

"The hell!" Kate asked.

"Don't ask me." Kiyoko said. "This is scary."

"And interesting." Kate said. "Let see what they do next."

After the tea was poured, the three men sat down again and began sipping the tea.

"All right." Marcus said. "The first order of business is to establish our club code."

"First one is obvious." Oswin said. "Only men over thirty of age can join."

"Yes." Marcus said. "I agree. Those young people with their fighting and their music and their romance."

"Quite. They are the reason our society is going down the drain. I mean look at this town. It is EXACTLY the problem we face. Young people running this place. No wonder it is a dump." Merlinus agreed.

Outside, Kate and Kiyoko were getting quite pissed at the old men sitting there insulting their generation as well as their beautiful town.

"No culture whatsoever." Marcus said. "A bunch of tree hugging barbarians. You can't even get a decent bowl of tapioca in this town."

"I agree." Oswin said.

"And what's worse, those two girls, Kate and Kiyoko. What's is wrong with them? They decorated a Library. A library is a sanctuary for books! It's not supposed to look pretty! And from what I hear, they did a horrible job." Merlinus said.

"How despicable." Marcus said. "How did you find out?"

"I overheard it at dinner." Merlinus said. "The poor librarian."

"That is the last straw." Marcus said. "We must push for legislature after Nergal is defeated. This town must be placed in the hands of older more wiser men like us."

"Quite." Oswin agreed.

That was the last straw for Kiyoko and Kate as well. They glared at the three men with murder in their eyes.

"…Can we torture them now?" Kiyoko asked.

"Yes…" Kate said. "And here's how we do it."

She leaned over and whispered into Kiyoko's ear a devious plan.

"Hehe…that'll teach them." Kiyoko smiled evilly after she heard Kate's plan.

"Yes…" Kate said. "Now lets go."

Kate pulled out a ornate staff from her pocket and whispered an incantation. Light glimmered from the orb atop the staff and both girls vanished. Their bodies had turned invisible, and the only indication of their presence was a slight color distortion. Silently, both girls snuck into the inn and began to stalk the men.

"Okay, so, we have decided that-" Marcus suddenly slumped over, still breathing but knocked unconscious. A large welt formed on his forehead.

"Holy cow!" Oswin cried out. He and Merlinus jumped up and stood back to back.

"Show yourself phantom!" Oswin said.

Kate and Kiyoko took delight in picking things up and hurling them at the two.

"Ahh! There are more than one!" Oswin said.

"GHOSTS!" Merlinus cried.

Oswin picked up a chair. He noticed a little color distortion in front of him.

"AHH!" He cried as he swung the chair. It sliced through the air and smashed into the ground. Nothing.

"Something's out there…" Merlinus said. He noticed some movement in the corner of his eye and tossed the teapot. The pot flew into the wall and shattered.

"I saw something move! I swear!" Merlinus said.

"I know." Oswin agreed. Suddenly, something hard hit him over the head. He saw tons of stars and then everything blacked out.

"Oswin?" Merlinus said nerviously. "Are you okay?"

He flung a cup into the wall again. "Oswin?"

Merlinus turned around and found Oswin unconscious or dead. He didn't know which. Before Merlinus could scream, something heavy hit him over the head and he blacked out as well.

Moments later, the same ornate staff Kate had appeared out of thin air. Another incantation and both girls were once again visible.

"That was fast." Kate said. "You got the makeup set?"

"Yep!" Kiyoko squealed pulling out a huge box. "And there's a closet over there where Charlie keeps his mom's dresses and every dress my mom ever gave me but I never wear."

"Hehe!" Kate squealed walking over and throwing open the closet door. "This will be fun."

Kate and Kiyoko selected three different outfits and then moved over to the unconscious men. Kate pulled out her warp stave and warped all three of them onto separate chairs. The two girls found some rope and bound all three of them in case they ever woke up. Then the girls attacked.

The duo went to their first victim, Marcus. Working quickly, they applied various different make up, stripped the guy, incinerated his clothing and dressed him in a pink tutu with a lot of lace. Kate and Kiyoko giggled at their handiwork and went on to Oswin. They put him in a long flowing prom dress and painted his face to a point where nobody could recognize him.

Finally, Kate and Kiyoko moved onto Merlinus. The two girls had fun with his hair, putting ribbons and dyeing it about fifty different times. Then they slapped makeup on him and put him into a blouse and miniskirt. The two stood then went over to the couches and admired their handiwork.

"Hehe!" Kiyoko said. "I can't wait until they wake up!"

"That'll be fun!" Kate said. She looked at a wall chronometer that Charlie had. It wasn't exactly accurate, but it was close enough.

"Looks like there is no meeting today. Guess they forgot to tell me." Kate sighed.

"Yeah…" Kiyoko said. She stuffed her hands into her pockets and felt something in there. She pulled it out. It was a memo for Kate.

"Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you." Kiyoko said sheepishly. "Hehe…sorry Katie."

"It's okay Kiyo." Kate said. "We had fun. Well, wanna go home?"

"Yeah!" Kiyoko said. "Lets go."

The two girls walked off, leaving the three dressed up men tied up, snoring in the lobby. They only wished they could see the faces of these men when they woke up.

Upstairs, Serra and Nino silently snuck into Rebecca and Erk's room. Serra looked at the staff in her hands. It glowed pink in the dark. Worried that the light might wake the sleeping lovers, Serra covered the stave with her coat.

The girls looked at the two sleep together in the bed. Rebecca was cuddled in Erk's arm and sleeping peacefully. Serra grinned wickedly, knowing that it would change in a moment.

Then, with a flick of her wrist, she activated the staff and sent a glowing pink light towards Rebecca. Serra waited for the flames and the scream of pain, but it never happened. The two girls were puzzled. The tapped the staff again blasting Rebecca again with the pink light. Again, nothing happened. Serra wondered if it takes time to activate.

On the bed, Rebecca began to stir. Serra and Nino quickly stuffed themselves into a closet. Rebecca woke up, feeling a weird tingling inside of her. She looked at Erk sleep. For some odd reason, she felt a primal hunger inside of her grow. Her head got dizzy as she became severely aroused by something in the air. As the last fragments of resistance her magically fried brain put up dissolved, Rebecca roughly grabbed Erk and kissed him hard enough to bruise skin. Erk looked up at Rebecca and saw a wild lust in her eyes. Before he knew what was happening, he felt her hands drift under his shirt. Weakly, he tried to resist, but soon, he too threw caution out the window and wholeheartedly joined his love in her lustful activities.

Serra and Nino's eyes widened as they saw the lovers on the bed savagely rip off clothing. Trying one last time, Serra lifted her stave and shot another beam of light…only this time, her trembling hands caused the light to smash into Erk. Serra nearly yelped, but soon she saw that all she did was intensify Erk's fervor for Rebecca. Serra glanced down at the staff. She wondered why it didn't work. Suddenly, a tag caught her eye.

"Oh god…" Serra whispered. "This is called the 'lust staff.'"

For the next five hours, Serra and Nino would be stuck in the closet, having their hearts, mentality, and sanity ripped out and smashed bit by bit. And soon, the entire building was aware of what was happening in room 201.

* * *

Charlie: …I must say… that brought quite the disturbing image to my mind. Anyways, yes, Rebecca got smashed with the lust staff twice. This is indeed the end of K/K. The next chapter I suppose could be considered the K/K Beauty Salon Epilogue. But this is the last antic of K/K. That is not to say Kate and Kiyoko won't do any more crazy gags. Oh no, they just won't be doing anything related to makeovers.

Well, hope you enjoyed that.

**Reviewer's Corner n.n**

Note…I will be abbreviating your names…there were a lot this time.

Missklutz: Hehe, I updated! Heath and Lyn get a break…time to torture some other peoples! Yay!

Kiyoko-Chan: Hehe…Heath didn't die…yet. You'll get your chance you little necromancer. The love stuff is yeah… it's from an RNG. I was on crack that night…remember? Hehe, oh well. Hope you liked torturing the old peoples! Eat your healthy foods! Stay safe. (I don't know if I sound like your brother or your doctor or your father or whatnot).

Mierin: Heh, typo king strikes again. I must admit, I am bad at those. As for my favorite stave…it has to be the invisibility stave Kate just used. Lucius is well… read Ivanfanatic's fics. She poisons me with her Lucius' personality. As for Vaida's hair…it's most likely cursed.

Kevin: Heh, yes, you need that Nosferatu. As for the other characters, they'll get their chance to shine. Like Marcus, Oswin and the others. Guy and Ninian shall join in the fun soon. (We all know that I plan to pair them). I'll get to them eventually. I mean, at this rate, we'll have over 90-100 chapters. That's plenty for everyone to get mentioned.

Inferno-Hero: Stewie is cool. We all love stewie!

Nightmare3: Heh, poor Priscilla indeed. And poor Karel… nearly froze to death. FE high was interesting. Never knew Karel was so… lustful.

Draknal: Heh, Kent is keeping a low profile so far. But we all know what'll happen next! Erk and Rebecca are cute…and the fact that they have help from the people who are trying to break them up helps.

Samantha: Mm hmm! I can do worse n.n. Hehe, chocobos! They're fun. Poor stewie…he gets no respect.

Silverfox: Muahahah! Lucius shall be the best bridesmaid ever. He's pretty enough to be one. (His hair!) Thanks for the complements!

SacredBlade: Hehe, Priscilla/Heath is cool. But I'm doing unorthodox pairings here. Hehe! Poor Priscilla indeed.

Fireemblemfreak: Hehe, thanks. I'm sure Rebecca's feeling how nice Erk really is right now. (Okay, that sounded wrong…but it's true).

NorthernSword: Heh, Lyn's not that bad, I just like to exaggerate. We'll see how she reacts to Heath and Vaida though.

DespairSpreader: Heh, thanks for the profile. This will help a lot.

Manamage: Heh, yes, Wil did have a ping.

DreamerofRiddles: -whistles- wow… I must say…that is one complete profile. You got the part… anybody who takes the time to do something that complete deserves the part. I must say, I would look forward to seeing you do things to the dead people.

Dragonlady: Heh, I can't update that fast. It's finally summer for me! I'mma giving Heath a break for now. We shall see him be tortured later.

Thewatcherandreader: Heh, I know, the other characters will get their chance to shine. As for your character idea. I'm curious…but I just can't handle any more right now…sorry.

RWT: Hehe, yes, Lucius is indeed crazy. As is Louise. Hehe, we must torture Heath some more.

Jerry: Heh, okay, thanks for the profile! I'll definitely put you in as something.

Rlnaruhina: Heh, thanks for the compliments. I'll get in more Sain and Florina fluff here and there. But there's a cute scene near the end of the fic with Sain and Florina. We'll just have to see.

agreatfan: Heh, thanks for the compliments. The lust staff I needed to wait because it would be bad for to have Erk and Rebecca just go at it in the open.

Jackswitch: Heh, thanks. I might just slow down updates in August. As for the spiking of drinks…it will happen…it's me, you know it will happen.

TroyBoy: Okays. Thanks for the profile!

Charlie: …that was long…very long. Hehe, well, I hope you guys like this chapter! I'll try to get the next update up for you by Monday or Tuesday! I love you all! Stay safe.


	15. Stalkers of the Night

Charlie: Ahh! Don't kill me. I was… hampered by my Earthly limitations so therefore I couldn't get this chapter up. …okay, NOW you can kill me because this is another filler.

Oh well, next chapter up. I have AX this weekend, so sorry, no more updates until Tuesday.

Warning…there is a slightly sexual scene. If you were squeamish to James Bond movies, then don't read the first few paragraphs.

* * *

**K/K Beauty Salon Epilogue I**

Stalkers of the Night

Serra and Nino whimpered as they watched Erk and Rebecca almost savagely tear clothing from body. As the action became more intimate, loud moans and cries filled the room. Serra could feel her brain literally melt. As for Nino, she would be scarred for life.

Unfortunately, Erk and Rebecca's rather…passionate lovemaking was starting to wake up everyone else in the inn.

The first unlucky pair to hear the rather loud moans coming from the couple was Karla and Raven. Karla was the first to wake after a loud squeal emitted by Rebecca. She sat up in her bed and looked around, wondering who was making all the noise. Moment's later; Raven began to stir.

"Ugh…who the hell is making that racket!" He grumbled sleepily.

"I have no idea." Karla said. "I think next door."

"Elimine…" Raven groaned. "What are they doing?"

"…I think it's obvious." Karla said blushing a little.

Raven oriented himself and listened to the racket. Slowly, recognition dawned on him and he flushed.

"Oh god…they couldn't wait could they?" Raven asked.

"Should we go stop them?" Karla asked.

"Maybe later." Raven said.

Just then, Karel poked his head into the room. "Ugh, what the hell is going on?" Karel asked.

"Erk and Rebecca are…shall we say doing the horizontal boogie?" Karla offered.

"Well, they better do it silently, the entire inn is up." Karel said.

"What?" Raven asked. "Is Priscilla okay?"

"Your sister is fine." Karel said. "She's hiding under her covers wishing that Erk and Rebecca would shut up. As for everyone else, they're gathered outside."

"Holy…" Raven cursed and bolted out into the hallway.

In hallway, about a dozen people were gathered outside of Erk and Rebecca's door, wondering what to do.

"I say we leave them alone." Farina said. "They deserve their fun."

"But this is an outrage." Kent said.

"Yes, indeed. It is completely unacceptable behavior." Fiora agreed.

"Ahh, stop being such party poopers." Wil commented.

"Go to hell twerp." Farina sneered.

"Arrr, I be go kill that bloody bastard." Dart roared. "She be my sister!"

"…I thought you said you didn't have a sister." Kent said.

"Well, she wanted a brother, so I play along." Dart nodded.

"Well, I think the rational thing to do here is to go in and tell them to keep it down." Kent said.

"That is a great idea." Lyn said. "They need to respect others."

"Or at least keep it down so we can sleep." Hector shrugged.

"The sounds are just gross." Vaida huffed.

"You obviously didn't see your 'before' picture." Dart snickered.

"Oh shut up!" Vaida roared before throwing a vase at Dart's head, which the berserker promptly dodged and shattered against the wall.

"Okay, stop this fighting." Eliwood said. "Where's Jessica?"

"Sleeping." Hawkeye said curtly. "I checked."

"Well, ain't that grand." Legault said. "So, now what chums?"

"Lets go in and tell them to hush up." Heath said.

"One flaw to that." Farina said. "Who's going to do it."

"I'll do it!" Sain offered.

Lyn promptly smacked him silly. "Oh no you don't."

"Well, who?" Geitz asked. "As far as I'm concerned, nobody here wants to go in."

"I'd have Serra do it since she has no sensitivity…but where is she?" Isadora asked.

"Come to think of it…she never came back." Kent said.

"Nor has Nino." Lowen said.

"Weird…" Kent said. "You don't suppose that those two…"

"Well, they did both have a thing for Erk." Lucius said.

"Oh dear…" Lyn said. "This is bad."

"What?" Kent asked.

"I was at the shopping center yesterday, and on my way down, I saw some interesting staves. I was just curious so…I went and looked. I specifically remembered that there w staves marked "Lust staves," and they were also right next to staves marked "Death staves."

"Ahh…crap." Karel muttered. "Serra, Priscilla and Nino were trying to kill Rebecca earlier. I think they might of picked up the wrong staff."

"Yeah, but Priscilla's here." Kent said. "Do you think those two went solo?"

"Well, Priscilla was trying to freeze me to death." Karel said.

"No she wasn't." Guy said. "She was so worried about you when you froze."

"Yeah, she…begged us to save you." Ninian added.

"Ohh, Karel." Karla smirked.

"Don't…say…a…word." Karel growled. "Anyways, it's possible."

"Anybody want to check?" Geitz asked.

"How about this? We use some silence staves on the walls. Maybe that'll sound proof them." Isadora suggested.

"Good idea, go for it Lucy." Canas said.

"Don't call me that." Lucius growled. "And where's Pent? He can use staves too."

"He's too busy restraining Louise. Oh boy is she mad." Canas said. "Dorcas is also helping…but I think they're losing."

"Whatever, okay, here goes." Lucius said. He walked forward, taking a silence staff Karel stole from Priscilla's bag. He took a deep breath, and shot the triangular beams into the walls. After a moment, the pleasureful moans and cries died out.

"Thank St. Elimine!" Fiora prayed. "Now we can all get some sleep."

"Yes, party's over." Hector said. He began herding people, especially Sain, away from the door.

"Wait, but what about Nino?" Lowen asked.

"She'll live." Hector said. "Now move it. I want to sleep."

Grudgingly, Lowen followed the rest of the relieved people back to the rooms.

Meanwhile, inside, Erk and Rebecca were going at it for the fourth time in a row. Serra glanced at the useless staff in her hands as she tried to shield Nino's eyes and ears.

"Bloody…piece…of shit…" She muttered. She glared back at Erk and Rebecca. 'I'll kill you for this Rebecca…' She thought evilly as she watched the sniper's back arch with a look of pure pleasure on her face. 'I'll KILL you.'

Meanwhile, in the residential area, Alan rushed into Charlie's house after he got an emergency pigeon post.

"What's wrong?" Alan asked.

"Kiyoko's not back yet. It's past midnight." Charlie said. He looked worried.

"And…you're worried about Kiyo? I mean, any bandit would be suicidal to try to mug her." Alan groaned

"No, it's not THAT I'm worried about." Charlie said. "I'm worried about the fact that Kiyo's not back AND Kate's not back."

"Oh…shit…" Alan said. "That is bad."

"They're probably destroying property, crushing hopes and wiping out dreams." Charlie said.

"That might be a bit too drastic." Alan said quirking an eyebrow. "But yeah, I'm worried too. Those two can destroy the world if they wanted to."

Suddenly, a loud banging noise disturbed the two.

"What was that?" Alan asked.

"I dunno…rats?" Charlie offered.

"…It's WINTER, no rats are out." Alan said.

"Hey, just a guess." Charlie said. "Maybe Kiyo's robbing my house again."

"She robs your house?" Alan asked.

"Half her furniture and all her food come from my house." Charlie said. "I might as well be her bank account."

"Well, anyways, I think that came from your bedroom, lets go check it out." Alan said.

Charlie nodded and followed Alan silently into Charlie's bedroom. Sure enough, there was a feminine figure prowling around inside.

"It's her…" Alan whispered.

"Wanna pounce her?" Charlie asked.

"…She'll kill us." Alan returned.

"Just tickle her." Charlie said.

"Okay…on three." Alan said.

"Okay, one…two…three." Charlie counted and the two pounced the person inside.

"Gotcha Kiyo!" Charlie said as he slammed a pillow into his captive's head.

"OW! LET GO OF ME PERVERTS!" An unfamiliar voice screamed out.

"WAH! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" Charlie asked jumping back.

"The name's Lugia!" The girl said. She stood up. Alan could feel his jaw hit the ground. The new girl had long dark hair and wore tight, form-fitting sleeveless shirt and skirt with long gloves and tall boots. A heavy cloak was wrapped around her. She had beautiful delicate features that would make any guy flip.

Unfortunately for her, Charlie wasn't happy about the fact that he was just robbed.

"That's great, what the hell are you doing here?" Charlie asked.

"Borrowing some stuff." Lugia said.

"Uh huh." Charlie nodded. "Without asking I presume."

"Hey, not everyone has it as easy as you do." Lugia said sticking her tongue out.

"Right…you want my job? Because frankly, it takes about ten years off my life." Charlie said.

"It's better than having to worry about your next meal." Lugia retorted.

"Oh give me a break. If you tried, you could find an honest job." Charlie said. "Come on, help me here Alan."

"Gah..uhh…right…uhh…nice…hi…Alan…gah…pretty…MARRY ME!" The archer had completely lost all sense in him.

"Oh give me a break." Charlie groaned.

"Hehe, looks like your friend is useless." Lugia said. "Now allow me to mak-"

Before she could finish, a second thief popped into the window and landed on Lugia.

"HIYA CHAWEE-NIISAN!" Kiyoko's cheerful call came in. "Hey! Is this a new pillow?"

"GET OFFA ME!" Lugia cried.

"OH!" Kiyoko jumped off. "Who is she Chawee?"

"Thief." Charlie said.

"I prefer the term 'Rogue.'" Lugia said.

"Fine… Rogue, she was trying to rob my house." Charlie said.

"Hey!" Kiyoko glared at the new girl. "That's MY job!"

"Aww, I'm sorry. But I just needed some food. And your friend here molested me." Lugia said.

"I did NOT!" Charlie cried. "Kiyoko, she's trying to steal your job! GET HER!"

"YOU BITCH!" Kiyoko screamed before jumping onto Lugia. The two girls were immediately in a catfight. Poor Alan completely lost it. His mouth flopped open and drool started to leak out. Charlie was a different story completely.

"RIP HER HEAD OFF KIYO!" Charlie screamed hysterically.

Kiyoko and Lugia began scuffling in the bedroom, destroying the place in the process. Fortunately, their fighting attracted Charlie's neighbors, the three sisters. Sonia quickly ran in.

"Charlie, what's going on in here?" Sonia asked.

"This girl tried to rob me." Charlie said pointing to Lugia who was still exchanging blows with Kiyoko. "Kiyo's stopping her."

"Looks more like a catfight to me." Sonia said. "Close your mouth Alan."

Alan caught himself and clamped his jaw shut.

"All right…" Sonia said, walking in and pulling Kiyoko off Lugia. "Break it up."

"She started it." Kiyoko said.

"I don't care." Sonia said. She turned to Lugia. "Now, did you try to rob Charlie?"

"I prefe-" Lugia started.

"Tell me borrowing without asking and I'll slice your head off." Sonia growled.

"Okay…yeah." Lugia admitted it. "But I just wanted to get some money so I can buy food for my family…is that bad?"

"In a way, no, in another, yes." Sonia said. "Because this is still Charlie's stuff. Now if you had ASKED him, he WOULD'VE given you some food and money, but you decided to steal, so now it's all your fault."

"Crap…" Lugia said. "Am I in trouble?"

"Well, lets put it this way, since you didn't take anything, we won't try you." Sonia said.

"What's the catch?" Lugia asked.

Sonia grinned evilly. "You'll have to work for me in the store for two weeks as punishment."

Charlie whistled. "The infamous Catch-22."

"Catch-22?" Lugia asked.

"Yeah, you'll die either way." Charlie said.

"Ignore him." Sonia said. "So, either we lock you up and you rot in jail, or you work for me."

"Like I said, you'll die either way." Charlie said before Sonia elbowed him in the stomach.

"Do I get benefits?" Lugia asked.

"Dental." Sonia said.

"No insurance?" Lugia asked.

"Hell no." Sonia said. "This is Silent Springs. Only two insurance companies in Elibe would insure anyone here, unless you're name is Charlie."

"Why?" Lugia asked glancing at Charlie. "Is he sickly?"

"Call it the Kiyoko factor." Charlie said pointing to the still fuming assassin girl. "Because she likes to torment me as a hobby, I'm blacklisted by every insurance company in Elibe."

"That sucks." Lugia said.

"Yes, so will you take it?" Sonia asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Excellent!" Sonia said smiling. "Now, we must get you somewhere to stay. You can live with my sisters and me. Fae would like some company her age. How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Cool!" Sonia said. "Come on."

"Okay!" Lugia said. She was cheered at the prospect of friends and a roof.

"…okay, what just happened?" Charlie asked.

"I'm confuzzled." Kiyoko said.

"…So…nice…" Alan mumbled.

"Snap out of it man." Charlie said.

"Huh! Oh sorry." Alan said. "But damn, she was HOT."

"She also tried to rob me." Charlie said. "Stay away from her k?"

"Fine." Alan said. "I'm going home, later guys."

"Later." Charlie and Kiyoko said.

"Well, I'm gonna wash up and go to bed." Charlie said. "See ya in the morning Kiyo."

"Okays!" Kiyoko said.

Charlie cleaned up his room and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. He didn't notice that Kiyoko never left and kinda just flopped down onto his bed.

"Umm…Kiyo…" Charlie said when he came back. After getting no response, he prodded the girl who was now lying on the bed.

Kiyoko didn't respond. She just turned over and shivered a bit.

"Oh…Dear…GOD!" Charlie groaned. He sighed and tucked Kiyoko in. Then he grabbed a spare blanket and went into the living room.

"I swear…that girl will be the death of me." He mumbled as he slowly drifted off to sleep. His last thoughts lingered on the new girl and the upcoming trial.

* * *

Charlie: Yeah…half-assed chapter…but I wasn't feeling well…so…sorry. Next chapter will be the second Epilogue to K/K and also the Prologue to the trial. It's gonna be a great ride.

Oh and Lugia's the new thief in town…guess who's gaga for her.

I'll do reviewer responses for both last chapter and this chapter in ch 16. Sorry! But I gotta go to bed. AX in the morning! w00t!


	16. Trial of Fate I: Opening Numbers

Charlie: Woo, I just got back from Anime Expo… it was awesome! Ahem, now anyways, I am highly lacking in both sleep and nutrition, so forgive any typos I make. On the other hand, this marks the first chapter of the Trial of Matthew mini-series. (Ain't we full of them?).

As for Grim Reaper stuff… you guys won't have to worry about anything until AFTER the trial is over, so don't get too excited. As far as I know, only one person signed up for Second Death and one for Secretary. The Grim Reaper himself, I've gotten like a lot of requests… so I'll be looking at profiles. Anyways, that's a long way off so I'm not dealing with that now.

So, without further ado, here is Chapter 16, Part I of the Trial Series. It's also Epilogue II for K/K, just letting ya know.

* * *

**The Trial of Fate**

Part I: Opening Numbers

Daybreak hit Silent Springs with a medley of gloomy storm clouds and a few weak beams of winter sunlight. Above the Library, Clide and Clive hovered ominously over Matthew's cell, sending periodic lightning bolts down five meters away from his cell just for kicks.

"Okay…that's it, you two can go die now." Matthew groaned after the fifteenth lightning strike nearly made him crap in his pants.

"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time!" Clive snickered.

"I didn't COMMIT any crime." Matthew groaned.

"Dude, if they let out every criminal who said that to the judge, there would be no point to having a court system." Clive said. "Besides, it's fun watching you jump!" With that Clive sent an unusually large bolt of electricity dangerously close to Matthew.

"I swear, I will KILL you two someday…KILL!" Matthew snarled.

"Somebody's grumpy." Clide said.

"Would you be grumpy if you were going to trial for absolutely nothing?" Matthew asked.

"Well…" Clive said. "As far as I know, you did rape that Samantha girl."

"What! I did not." Matthew said.

"Trust me, I floated over her house last night." Clide said. "She was crying."

"And…how does that correlate to me raping her?" Matthew asked.

"It just does." Clive said. "Now shut up, I hear footsteps."

Sure enough, coming down the road, the three boarder guards, Lee, Sharn and Aeros, dressed in judges' robes, were striding crisply along the hidden mountain path. As they approached, the cloud twins drifted to opposite sides of the door and floated at attention. Moments later, the door opened and Kevin, in his dark flowing robes strode out calmly.

Lee noticed the change in Kevin's appearance. He had black marks under his tormented eyes. His hair was rather disheveled and the man didn't wear any sock. Plus he was dragging around an IV stand with about fifty different bags of medicinal fluids plugged into his arms.

"Greetings." Lee started out formally. "Are you feeling well Lord Kevin?"

"Eh, I've been better." Kevin shrugged, not even trying to make his voice sound any more formal than it normally was. "So, are we to collect the prisoner and bring him to the temple or the town hall?"

"The temple." Aeros said. "Brian wanted all trials involving monks and clerics of St. Elimine in the temple remember?"

"Not really." Kevin said. "I don't pay much attention to local politics."

"Oh, well then." Sharn said, clearing his throat. "Anyways, we're taking him to the temple, are you coming?"

"Is Kiyoko still prosecuting?"

"Yes." Lee said.

"Then hell no." Kevin said. "I'll pass."

"Eh, okay." Lee said. "Is the prisoner ready?"

"I don't think so." Kevin said. "But does he have a choice?"

"No," Aeros said. "But it's still fun to ask."

"Anyways." Kevin said. "I'll go fetch him. You gentlemen stay out here since I have no clue how this new library card press works anymore after K/K wrecked it."

"I see." Lee said. "This place is…rather eccentric looking."

"Yes, well, Kate and Kiyoko are crazy. Anyways, be right back." Kevin said. With that, the librarian disappeared into the main building. Lee, Aeros and Sharn stood back and looked up at the two clouds, one of who was wearing a pink ribbon.

"So, how's he holding up?" Lee asked.

"Eh, as good as they get I guess." Clive said.

"You do know that he probably is innocent right?" Aeros asked.

"Yep." Clide said.

"And that Samantha does actually like him a lot right?" Sharn asked.

"Of course." Clive said.

"And this trial will be so one sided that he'll get convicted anyways right?" Lee asked.

"Obviously." The cloud twins said in unison.

"Just making sure." Lee said. "Ahh, Matthew."

The three border guards slash judges went up to the door where Kevin led a shackled Matthew out into the snow.

"I'm innocent." Matthew said.

"Save it for the judge." Aeros said as he put on more shackles.

"You ARE the judge." Matthew said.

"Hmm, well so I am one." Aeros said. "Save it for someone who cares."

"Why am I scared now?" Matthew asked.

"Because Aeros here just said something that would imply that the trial would be horribly one sided?" Sharn offered.

"Yeah, that." Matthew said.

"Oh, in that case." Lee said. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Oh, good." Matthew said.

"Now, shall we go?" Lee asked.

"Do I have a choice?" Matthew asked.

"No, but I just like asking you that." Lee said as he led Matthew back towards the mountain path to the temple area. Aeros and Sharn hung back.

"I hope Matthew does realize that Lee twisted his words again." Sharn said. "Matthew wouldn't have anything to worry about if he was expecting a one sided trial."

"Eh, he probably doesn't realize it, and frankly, I don't care." Aeros said. "Now come on."

Meanwhile, the inn was absolutely jumping. Matthew's trial technically started at two hours after daybreak. Yet it was barely ten minutes past and everyone was up and about, getting dressed and rushing out their rooms to get a good seat in the temple-court.

Well, almost everyone. Serra and Nino, after escaping from Erk and Rebecca's room after the drugged lovers' bodies finally cracked from exhaustion after nearly five hours of intense lovemaking, were snuggled into their beds in their respective rooms. Kent had asked Serra where she had been, only to find the cleric shaking in shock before breaking down and crying. It took him an hour of hugging, coaxing and storytelling to calm the girl down enough so she would sleep.

As for Nino, the young girl's mind was scarred beyond recognition. When she returned, she gave Lowen a greeting in a half human voice and passed out onto the ground. Lowen had freaked out and ran down to hall to grab Priscilla. Only after the half-asleep Valkyrie had assured Lowen that Nino was still alive did the paladin manage to sleep again. Karel however was rather unhappy with being woken up, but he was too tired to do anything about it.

Aside from those incidents, everyone else was anxious to see the trial begin and hopefully end soon with Matthew a free man. Jessica was the most frantic person that morning, being the defense attorney. She ran around asking people such as Hector and Serra to be her witnesses. Unfortunately, she could not for the life of her find where Oswin was.

Suddenly, as the first people were dressed had gone down stairs, a huge commotion erupted.

"HOLY HELL!" Hector had yelled. He and Eliwood were the first two down the stairs, and what they saw tied up at the bar was not funny.

"My…eyes…THEY BURN!" Eliwood screamed as he ran back up the stairs, nearly trampling Jessica over.

"ELIWOOD!" Jessica screamed as she grabbed him by the cloak and slapped him across the face a couple of times. "GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF MAN!"

By that time, a large crowd had gathered on the stairs. They were all looking at Eliwood and the rather sick Hector stumbling up the stairs.

"You do NOT want to go down there." Hector said. "Unless you hate yourself of course."

"It's…horrible!" Eliwood cried.

Jessica sighed and held Eliwood for a bit. "Come now…it can't be that scary." She said. After a while, she put the sobbing lord down and went to see for herself. Unfortunately, the minute she saw Marcus, Oswin and Merlinus in their drags…she wished that someone would poke her eyes out, step on them and then feed them to a hungry wyvern.

"OH GOD!" She screamed as she ran upstairs. "OH…GOD!"

"Oh come on." Lyn said as she passed Jessica. "It can't-"

She too froze when she saw the tree unconscious cross-dressed men.

"Are you okay Lyn?" Heath asked.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Lyn said.

"Okay, would somebody just SAY what it is so we don't have to stand up here and guess?" Sain asked impatiently.

"Marcus, Oswin and Merlinus." Lyn said.

"…and THAT is scaring you guys?" Geitz asked. "Don't make me laugh." He strode downstairs. "HOLY HELL THEY'RE CROSSDRESSED!"

"Yeah, you should've waited for me to finish my sentence." Lyn muttered.

There was a collective shudder that shot through the group as people began to picture the three cross-dressed men.

"I think we should just walk by…and pretend we saw nothing." Jessica said.

"That is going to be VERY hard." Geitz said.

"What else CAN we do!" Jessica asked. "The rest of you, just don't look if you value your life."

Everyone nodded, unfortunately, as the group went down, people couldn't control their urges and began to take a few peeks. By the time everyone was out, Sain had thrown up and Priscilla was passed out over Karel's shoulder. Karla was weeping for some reason and her tears were soaking up Raven's shirt making the red haired hero rather pissy. As for everyone else, they just felt their stomachs throw over and lost their appetites. All in all, everyone made it out in once piece and soon were headed towards the temple.

Charlie woke up that morning stiff and cranky. He didn't like the fact that his bed was taken away from him, nor did he like the fact that he couldn't feel his feet. As he slowly pulled himself together, he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be prosecuting Matthew today. So slowly, he dragged himself into his room. His bed was empty, meaning Kiyoko was either already up, or had fallen off the bed. Charlie didn't care, he just wanted to get into the bathroom for a long shower.

Unfortunately for him, the moment he went into his bathroom, a female voice began to scream at him.

"CHARLIE! GET OUTTA HERE YOU PERV!" Kiyoko screamed.

Charlie blinked a few times, still being half asleep. He looked up and saw someone holding a towel around her body and pointing at the door. It took him a while to realize it was Kiyoko, completely naked except for a towel, looking at him as if she would kill him.

Quickly, before the disgruntled thief girl could shred him to pieces, he jumped out the bathroom and slammed the door.

"DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!" Kiyoko's scream came.

"Hey! THAT LOCK IS THERE FOR A REASON!" Charlie yelled.

"I forgot I was in your house!" Kiyoko yelled back.

"Dear St. Elimine! JUST SHOOT ME NOW!" Charlie said.

* * *

In Heaven, St. Elimine gladly turned on the laser sights on her new sniper rifle and aimed for the boy's head. Unfortunately, the phone rang before she could pull the trigger. Sighing, she dropped the rifle and went to answer the phone.

"Hello?" She said. "Oh hey! Roland! What's up?"

* * *

Ahem…anyways, Charlie slumped onto the floor. He slowly watched the morning get drearier and drearier.

"Kiyoko! I NEED TO SHOWER! HOW LONG CAN YOU TAKE IN THERE!" Charlie yelled.

"JUST ANOTHER MINUTE!" Kiyoko yelled.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID THIRTY MINUTES AGO!" Charlie screamed.

Just then, the door unclicked and Kiyoko stepped outside, dressed in her usual shirt, pants, coat and cloak.

"You think you might want to wear something nicer?" Charlie asked.

"Hmm, nah." Kiyoko said. "Are you ready?"

Charlie looked down at his pajamas. "Do I LOOK ready?"

"Yep!" Kiyoko squealed.

"No, let me at least change." Charlie said.

"Okays!" Kiyoko said.

"Umm…if you would?" Charlie asked.

"Huh?"

"Leave the room Kiyo."

"OHH!" Kiyoko said and she strode from the room. Charlie sighed and began dressing. He considered going suit and tie, but then thinking about how stupid he would look, he decided to go with a trench coat with his usual clothes.

"Ready." Charlie said as he walked out to where Kiyo was waiting.

"Come on! We're going to be late!" Kiyoko huffed.

"…And that's MY fault how?" Charlie asked.

"You're the last one out." Kiyoko said.

"I swear…someday, I'll listen to that little voice in my head that goes 'Just shoot yourself…now!'" Charlie groaned.

The two prosecuters were the last to arrive at the temple where Brian had converted main hall into a courtroom. Lee, Aeros and Sharn were seated at the bench. In the audience, the entire population of Silent Springs as well as most of the members of Eliwood's Elite were there. Kiyoko noted with pleasure that the members of the Thirty and Up Cult were not there.

"You're late." Lee said.

"Sorry your honor." Charlie said. "My colleague and I had a little incident this morning."

"Care to share?" Lee asked.

"No your honor." Kiyoko said.

"Okay, well, take your places, we must start." Sharn said.

Charlie looked around and noticed that Sonia and Lulu were serving as the bailiff. As for the Jury, it was consisted entirely of Silent Springs residents, including Lizzie the naturalist, Alan, Kate, Fae, Glenn, George, Aminec, Erimus, Christina and Dias.

"All rise for the honorary Lee, Aeros and Sharn." Sonia announced as part of custom. Everyone rose and Lee, Aeros and Sharn gave a little wave before giving the signal for everyone to sit down.

Lee sat down and took out a scroll. "Matthew of Ostia, please rise."

Matthew, who was seated next to Jessica, rose, his shackles clanging together noisily.

"You are being charged with Murder in the first and second degree, shoplifting, armed robber, assault with a deadly weapon, sexual assault, sexual abuse, child abuse, rape, embezzlement, insider trading, animal cruelty, manslaughter in the first and second degree, mounted manslaughter, drunk riding, grand theft horses, and high treason against country and crown. How do you plead?"

"My client pleads innocent your honor." Jessica said.

"…You take one lousy piece of toast…" Matthew muttered.

"Prosecutors." Sharn continued. "Your opening statements."

"Gladly your honor." Charlie said rising with Kiyoko. "Ou-"

"Just a moment Charlie." Lee said. "First a number."

"Excuse me your honor?" Charlie asked.

"A number, you know, a musical number." Lee said.

"A musical number your honor?" Kiyoko asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes, a song of sorts. We must begin on a cheerful tune." Aeros said.

"Your honor, I think this is an inappropriate time and-" Charlie said.

"YOUR number, if you please prosecutor." Lee glared.

"Yes your honor." Charlie said. He turned to Kiyoko.

"What now?" He asked.

"Don't look at me, I don't want to sing." Kiyoko said.

"Neither do I, but we're gonna have to do it." Charlie said.

"So, what are we going to do?" Kiyoko asked.

"Hey, how about that song we made up about summer classes and that cross-dresser two years ago when we were bored?" Charlie asked.

"You mean the Ilian Drinking Song?" Kiyoko asked. "Sure, why not."

"Your honor." Charlie said addressing Lee. "My partner and I shall do an Ilian Drinking Song."

"Begin whenever you're ready." Lee said.

Charlie and Kiyoko cleared their throats. "OHHHHHHHHHHH! Ideideideideideidei!"

"Once I had a summer class." Charlie began.

"I had a gay professor." Kiyoko continued.

"He had this weird TA."

"Who was also gay."

"His TA had this little dance."

"That was his if-else dance!"

"When I see him do his dance."

"I feel like throwing up!"

"OHHHH! Ideideideideideidei!"

"One day I was in his class."

"And he was being gay!"

"I thought it was the sickest thing."

"Until I saw Man-Faye."

"Oh god it was so horrible."

"My eyes began to melt."

"Please someone tell this guy."

"To shave his hairy legs!"

"Ohhh Ideideideideideidei ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh ideideideideiiiiiiiiideeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiideeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

The two ended with a nice flourish. Everyone began to clap and cheer, except for most of the members of Eliwood's Elite who flashed back to their earlier encounter with the three cross-dressed men in the lobby.

"Very good prosecutors." Lee said. "Now your opening statements."

"Very well your honor." Charlie said. "As you all know, we are here to punish Matthew for the crimes that he has committed, especially against the young innocent priestess whom we all know and love." Charlie gestured towards Samantha who had a half-perplexed half-enraged look on her face.

"What this man did was horrible, it was ATROCIOUS!" Kiyoko said, nearly screaming. "It is up to the law, and you ladies and gentlemen of the jury to ensure that his act does not go unpunished. Thank you."

Charlie and Kiyoko took their seats the deafening cheers from Samantha's supporters who still have no idea that the young priestess liked the defendant very much.

"Defense, your opening statement?" Lee asked. "And don't forget the number."

"Your honor," Jessica said. "Request permission to forgo the number."

"Objection!" Charlie said. "Defense is requesting an unfair advantage."

"Sustained." Lee said. "Defense, your number if you will."

With that, Charlie leaned over to Kiyoko and whispered, "Yep, it's rigged."

Jessica looked up.

"Uhm… I really don't have anything I know your honor." She said.

"Do you think those two jokers did?" Aeros asked. "Now sing something or else."

"Uhmm…" Jessica began to sweat.

"Why don't you sing that song?" Matthew said from next to her. "The one you tried to sing at the contest way back when."

"Oh HELL no." Jessica said.

"Come on Defense, we don't have forever." Sharn said impatiently.

"Do you have a better idea!" Matthew asked.

"Don't talk like that to me! I'm the one saving your behind."

"Just do it." Matthew said. "Please."

"Ugh…fine." Jessica said. "But don't blame me when I suddenly get the urge to slice off your head in your sleep one of these days."

"Don't worry." Matthew said. "I'll forgive you when you ruin my pillows."

"Ouch…straight to the heart." Jessica said faking a wound to the chest.

"Would the defense please get the damn show started sometime today!" Lee demanded.

"Fine…" Jessica said. She took a deep breath, and began to sing.

"_ichiban kirei na sora wo tobouyo_

_tashika na mirai he Try!_

_negai ha hitomi no naka kagayaite afureru egao_

_nagare ni tsubasa wo azukete ima ha furikae razuni_

_ichiban kirei na sora he tobouyo_

_nando taore temo "Try!"_

_kizutsu kinagara tsukamu ashita_

_yasashiiku tsuyoku kataru kimi wo wasurenai itsumo..._

_kokoro wo nurashita ame hitoshi zuku hikari ni tokete_

_itami ni furueru tsubasa mo chiisa na ai wo mamoru no_

_etcetcetc…" (I think you get the point)_

After Jessica finished her song, Lee looked at her.

"Nice, well, your opening statement?"

"Yes, well your honor." Jessica said rather breathlessly. "Anyways, Matthew is obviously innocent. Everyone here saw that there is absolutely nothing going on. Plus, it is also obvious that Samantha does indeed like him as well. So this case has no grounds whatsoever."

"Ms. Nam." Lee said addressing Jessica by last name.

"Yes your honor?"

"Do you realize what you're saying?"

"I think I'm pretty clear on that." Jessica said.

"Very well, let us begin." Lee said. He nodded to the prosecution. "Bring on your first witness."

"Very well." Kiyoko said. "The prosecution calls upon Brian, brother of the victim."

"Brian, please approach the stand." Lee said. Brian stepped up calmly and placed his hand on a Bible that Sonia was holding. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

"Yes your honor." Brian said

"Prosecution, your cross examination." Lee nodded at Charlie and Kiyoko. The two prosecutors got up.

"Show time." Charlie said.

* * *

Charlie: Yes, I am evil. But the title does say "Opening numbers." Opening statements are over. We're gonna go to cross-examination since if I try to do a complete trial, I would be completely wrong on many parts plus it would take me about three years to write.

Anyways, sorry about the delay, I just needed a break…it's summer so I'll be slacking off a little. I'm also sorry to say that updates are gonna be once a week from now on unless I feel hyper or something. Then I'll do two a week. Sorry! But I really need the break.

Anyways, on to Reviewer Responses… I cannot sift through over 40 e-mails so unfortunately; I'll be doing last chapter and chapter 14 responses only. Sorry to those who reviewed an earlier chapter.

**Reviewer's Corner n.n**

DragonLady626: Hehe, thanks. I just couldn't do too much…considering I was going to Anime Expo over the weekend. I think I'm caught up on sleep now, so yeah n.n;;;

Springleburt: Eheh, don't worry about it, I never review either -ish a lazy bum-. This town is indeed jumping…two bandit raids… the destruction of the church and the library, etcetc… man, now that I think about it…what the hell have I created O.o

BlackHole CO: Heh, everyone goes for the dental plans. I'm glad that my comedy is acceptable.

TheWatcherandReader: Heh, thanks. As for why I torture Charlie the most, it's because I can't really offend myself by torturing myself. Other people may get pissed and start report and whatnot, just don't want to deal with it. Everyone does get tortured, just not as much as I do.

DespairSpreader: Eheh, well as for Grim Reaper, I'm not even gonna touch that subject until we get to that point in the fic. Hehe, try to control your bloodlust until then.

Samantha: Eheh…you don't want to know the kinds of dreams I had that night… And if you WANT to go spy on people…well, yeah, I guess we could have that. Although that might just lead me to write you a scene with Matthew and then…oh god…BAD IMAGES! … yet interesting at the same time.

…wow, I feel dirty now…

Jerry: Actually, it was just something to keep the wolves from snapping. I really needed sleep. As for the new OC, eh, she just adds a new angle. I need another girl. (Please for the love of God don't take that the wrong way).

SacredBlade: Heh thanks!

LonelyLord: Yeah…fillerness. Me no likie fillers either, but eh, no choice. Hope this one is better.

Kiyoko-Chan: Now now Kiyoko dear, we must learn to share. …No, I am not listening to myself talk right now.

missklutzzz: Heh, yeah, 56k sucks. I didn't like the fillerness of the last one though. Oh well, hope this one is better. Hope you're having fun on that vacation of yours.

Dreamer of Riddles: Heh, fillers are fillers, nothing anybody can do about it. As for Matthew, he does indeed have a bright and torture filled future. I mean, I would be too nice to just kill him now wouldn't I? (Yes, I dun like Matthew… he keeps dying on me and making me restart…)

RWT: Eheh, yes, Alan is heads over heels for named-after-legendary-pokemon-girl. As for the 100 chapter mark…yes this very well may exceed a hundred chapters.

Inferno-Hero: Eheh, yep, ripping head off n.n. You like randomness don't you?

Jackswitch: Yep, fillerness. As for Serra, I have something eviler planned for her. But I like the cone of silence thingy. I'll use it somewhere, if that's okay with you.

Northern Sword: Heh, thanks. I hope it's still funny.

OniKIDD: Heh, thanks. The effects of a non-battlefield location would soon manifest itself. It's gonna be interesting.

Nightmare3: Yeah, I couldn't do a full chappy. Ugh, I'm doing a lot of fillers aren't I? Anyways, the filler portion is over, time for the trial!

FIREEMBLEMFREAK 252: Eheh, I think you'd be better off with the first guess. But anyways, I'll be looking out for your fic.

KevinC: Eheh, I just wanted to experiment with the personalities. It's kinda funny when you put these fighters and healers with something like people having sex. They don't know what to do. As for AX, it was awesome.

**Chapter 14**

DragonLady 626: Heh, being computer deprived is unfortunate. As for using music as a weapon…I dunno…some people (like me) are a bit too entrenched in theory that I fail to see the sadness in a lot of tunes (Or I just stop listening and start analyzing.) As for the Drag Queens… Ehehe, Matthew will hate them.

KevinC: Heh, Ch 15 turned out to be a filler, but Ch 16 starts it all! Oh it's Brian v Matthew, not me v Brian. Heh, just wanted to point that out. As for the Drag Queens, let me just tell you they're involved in the trial…and that's all I'm gonna say (Since it's starting to scare me).

Chris: Err, you're a bit late there. Sorry!

drunkdragon: Heh, we must be patient about that. (Day 14). As for the erm, typo, yeah, I never learned how to spell it, so I did it phonetically. Oh well.

Nikolus Elflame: Err, lets just switch around a few chapters here. I wanted Ninian to be alive. Yep yep.

Dreamer of Riddles: Yeps! You got ze part. I must say, I fear for ze dead peoples now.

Inferno-Hero: Eheh, I just happened to hate Marcus more. And Stewie owns Peter in terms of bad luck. Peter just owns period because he's… Peter.

Kiyoko-Chan: Hehe, torture the old people. Like you torture your poor OLD brother (Three years….it's a long time.) As for staves, I've got worse ones. I draw you the death staff someday -nod-.

Lao Who Mai: Yeah, about the thirty and up club. Those are the only people who actually wanted to join. Dorcas is a bit too mellow to do that kind of stuff. As for Wallace and Harken (No, I didn't forget them). Remember in the game you don't get them if you get Geitz and Karel. However, they will appear. Don't worry.

Mierin Eronaile: Reactions involved are more or less disgust. But then, I'm not through with them yet. Oh no, they must stay in their dresses a bit more longer. As for grammar…eh, I never liked grammar. Blame my Chinese roots (Yep, I was born there.)

Da Sly: Ehehe, Thanks. I'll keep this goin'. And yeah, I've watched RvB. 'tis awesome.

SacredBlade: A Karelsicle! 'Tis funny indeed.

Samantha: Harken…I dunno, I would assume he'd be under thirty or something since well yeah, he doesn't look that old. And yes, I think Kiyo's influencing you. (Oh…god…)

Silverfox: Eheh…Marcus, Merlinus and Oswin'll wake up soon. As for what they would do…eh, you'll see.

Jerry: Heh, Dorcas and Canas are too smart to join Marcus. As for your pranks…I think I've got a good place for them.

Tyler Keocher: Heh, thanks. As for helping Erk and Rebecca, well they do it unintentionally. The Erky-Poo fanclub will NEVER help those two intentionally.

LonelyLord: Eh, I wanted to, but some people don't like it. There will be more scenes, so maybe I'll be a bit more graphic there. As for Karel/Priscilla, yeah, they would be very hilarious.

Aramin RVN: Eheh, Vaida just doesn't seem like a girl period. As for Lyn… yeah, she would do well in an anger management class. Hmm…. -gets idea-. I like your new fic by the way…I don't know if I reviewed though (Got really…yeah…lazy).

RWT: It wasn't that bad. But then again, I could've been a bit more graphic, and it still wouldn't be more than a T in today's standards. As for hypothermia, it's when your body temperature drops to abnormally low levels. Nils will definitely react to Guy/Ninian.

DespairSpreader: Yep, this fic has produced quite a few cruel and unusual tortures. From experience, NEVER EVER piss off Kate or Kiyoko…PERIOD. You'll regret it. Oh and thanks for the profile. It really helps.

RemedyTheThief: YAY! Cookies n.n! I wuv cookies. (No, I really do n.n)

TheWatcherandReader: If you know what Kiyoko actually gets away with in real life, you'd think what she did to those old men was a charity deed. (Damn…five aces…) Anyways, yeah, I let my staff get away with too much…eh, oh well. Sucks to be in the army!

laFia: (Ain't we all too lazy to log in? n.n) Karla and Raven are coming, as are Guy and Ninian.

PheonixFire1389: Heh, people probably don't like it right now. As for EliwoodxNinian…err…yeah, in the game, they're good for each other, the angst queen and the stereotypical hero. Of course, my Random Number Generator didn't agree…sowry. (And just curious, do the 1389 stand for anything?)

Nightmare3: Yes, poor thirty and up club. And how was Fiora? -Blasts them both with lust staff- …-points to his brother- he did it!

misSkLutzZz: Heh, Erky-Poo is like…dead now. But they'll be back. As for Karel, eh, he might. I think he's warming up to Priscilla though.

CrystallicFire: Hehe, I'll try my best to finish this! (And yeah, I noticed the fourteenth chapter of Fourteen Days. Fun n.n)

Charlie: ….that took up three and a half pages on word. I LOVE YOU GUYS! A LOT! n.n I hope you'll continue to like this. I'll try to get you guys as many updates as I can.

Oh yeah, and as a note…I know you guys want to see a lot of things, Karel/Priscilla, Raven/Karla, the missing characters, etc. But remember, it took me fifteen chapters to get past two days… there are going to be Fourteen Days not counting day zero and the day they leave. So yeah, we have a LOT of time for things to just flow along. So don't worry k?

I love ya all! -gives everyone pie…and pocky- (Yes Kiyoko, didn't forget about you.)


	17. ToF II: Crossdressed Crossexaminations

Charlie: AHHH! I'm actually updating twice! Wow.

Erk: Yep.

Charlie: HOLY SHIT! When did you come back?

Erk: Duh? Apple re-fractured her arm. It's not hard to escape from a girl with a fractured arm.

Charlie: The hell! Man, she needs to take better care of herself.

Erk: Or be less stupid.

Charlie: …Or that.

Erk: Anyways, Charlie did not forget about Harken and Wallace.

Charlie: Yeah, they'll show up, eventually. As for Renault, yeah, I forgot about him…but as far as I'm concerned, the only thing he's good for is his fortify staff. So he ain't showing up (because I don't use him enough). Anyways, yeah, that's all I have to say…I think. Umm… oh yeah. As for Yaoi, Yuri, and ratings. No, I am not a Yaoi or Yuri person and this won't go past T. Sorry for those of you who wanted to see those, and there you go for people who are sighing in relief now.

Erk: Yeps, and Charlie is a bitter person.

Charlie: No I am not.

Erk: Yes you are. You're a comedian.

Charlie: The hell does THAT have to do with anything? You know, why don't you go back and keep Cecelia company?

Erk: N.O.

Charlie: Hey, just a thought. Oh yeah. I'm gonna put a little extra fun tidbit at the end of my chapters now. They'll come before the Reviewer Corner.

Erk: Yep, and you're still bitter Charlie.

Charlie: Why would I be bitter?

Erk: Because… I dunno, you're a comedian, all comedians are bitter.

Charlie: Isn't that kinda like saying all Chinese people are good at math?

Erk: They are.

Charlie: Dude, why am I even having this conversation with you?

Erk: Dunno, it's taken up a page already.

Charlie: Seriously, go back to Cecelia. Anyways, on with the fic, I don't own FE.

Erk: Yep.

* * *

**Trial of Fate**

Part II Cross-dressed Cross-examinations

Charlie calmly strolled up to Brian. "So, Brian, tell me about what happened yesterday around noontime."

"Well, we were cleaning up after the incident involving maddening hair. I'm sure you were aware of it." Brian said.

Charlie nodded. "Continue."

"Well, after we cleaned up, I noticed that Samantha was missing." Brian said.

"And what did you do?" Charlie asked.

"We searched the entire school yard for her." Brian said.

"And did you actually find her?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, George's daughter Eliza found her being savagely taken advantage of by that man." Brian said.

"What! That is preposterous!" Matthew yelled.

"ORDER!" Lee stormed at Matthew. "I will not tolerate any more outbursts from you Matthew."

Matthew sat back down.

"Are sure at what you saw?" Charlie asked.

"Crystal." Brian said. "My darling little sister was being raped by that man. And by the heavens I demand to see him punished for it."

"And we shall see to it that he will." Charlie said. "No more questions your honor."

Lee nodded and Charlie and Kiyoko sat back down. Lee then looked at Jessica. "Defense?"

Jessica nodded and stood up. "Okay, Brian."

Charlie jumped. "Objection, leading the witness."

"Sustained." Aeros said. "Please rephrase your question Ms. Nam."

"WHAT! I wasn't even asking a question."

"Objection!" Kiyoko chirped. "Question is not in context with the issue at hand."

"Sustained." Aeros said again. "Please rephrase that question Ms. Nam."

"This is stupid." Jessica said. "I haven't even asked a question."

"Objection." Charlie said. "Defense is prodding the witness."

"Sustained." Aeros agreed. "Ms. Nam, I would like to ask you for the last time to cease your nonsense."

"Sigh… no more questions your honor." Jessica said.

Lee nodded and Brian went back to his place in the audience. Charlie and Kiyoko smiled with silent satisfaction. It was going to be a very VERY easy trial to win.

"Prosecution, call your next witness." Sharn said.

"The prosecution would like to call… Ms Jessica Nam to the stand." Kiyoko said. Jessica's eyes widened. It was an unsuspected undercut."

"Ms. Nam." Sharn said. "Please approach the stand."

Jessica stood up slowly and strode over to the stand. Sonia presented the book again. "Do you Ms. Nam swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?" Sonia asked.

"I do." Jessica said.

"Have a seat Ms. Nam." Sharn said. "Prosecution, you may proceed."

Kiyoko stood up this time alone. She walked up to Jessica introspectively.

"Ms. Nam, how would you classify Matthew, dirty thief or dirty shoplifter?" Kiyoko asked.

"I really don't see the difference." Jessica said. "Nor do I see the relevance."

"Answer the question." Kiyoko said.

"Well, he IS a thief…but."

"So, dirty thief then." Kiyoko asked for a clarification.

"Well, like I said he IS a thief but I fai-" Jessica began.

"THANK YOU." Kiyoko interrupted. "Moving on, would you say Matthew is a sexual predator, or a North Ilian Wyvern."

"Well, he's definitely not the second one." Jessica said. "But the fir-"

"Sexual predator then?" Kiyoko asked.

"That's not what I said!" Jessica said frustrated. "Just I don't see what the second one has an-"

"Sexual predator it is!" Kiyoko interrupted. The jury began to whisper and nod. Many of the mothers on the stand began to throw glares at Matthew.

"Okay, final question Ms. Nam, do you believe that Matthew is a rapist who took advantage of Samantha and should be locked away never to see the light of day?" Kiyoko asked with a passion. "Yes or yes?"

"No!" Jessica screamed.

"Your choices are yes or yes." Kiyoko said.

"Objection your honor." Jessica screamed.

"Overruled, answer the question." Aeros said.

Jessica began to sweat. She looked at Matthew apologetically. In the audience, many people who knew Matthew personally began to protest.

"This is not fair!" Hector said.

"What kind of trial is this?" Lyn asked. "There is no integrity whatsoever."

Brian turned around and glared at them. "He raped my sister. I said that he'd get a trial. I never said he would get a fair trial."

"He did NOT rape your sister." Hector raged.

"Yes he did. Look at how sad Sammy is right now!" Brian screamed

Hector looked over at Samantha, who was more or less gazing at Matthew longingly. "Umm…she looks like she's in love with Matthew."

"Say that again and I'll damn you to hell!" Brian raged.

Lee decided it was time to stop the arguing. "ORDER IN THE COURT!"

Everyone settled down and Lee looked at Jessica. "Ms. Nam, please answer the question."

"Your honor, I protest this question. She is basically forcing me to answer yes." Jessica said.

"Answer her question." Lee said. "I can't tell you what to answer."

"Prosecution is telling me to answer yes." Jessica said.

"Is that your answer then?" Lee asked.

"It's the only answer I am allowed to give." Jessica said. "This is a gross breech on court ethics."

"Answer the question Ms. Nam." Lee said.

In the audience, Samantha went up to her brother.

"Please Brian…let Matthew off? I do like him and he didn't do anything to me." She pleaded.

"Quiet down Samantha. You're just traumatized." Brian said.

"You're a monster!" Samantha sobbed. She got up and moved next to Lyn, who gave the girl a comforting hug. The Mage-y Triplets, who were sitting next to Brian, looked at him weirdly.

"Don't you think you're being a bit cruel?" Louisa asked.

"No, the man is getting what he deserves." Brian said stubbornly.

"Open your eyes man." Max said. "Sammy is freaking in love with Matthew. Even if they were doing it in the closet, shouldn't it be HER say whether or not it was statutory rape?"

"Besides, all they were doing was hugging. You're overreacting." Salrin said.

"You're just children." Brian dismissed. "You don't understand these things."

"Umm…" Max said. "Actually, we just took a law unit in school. What you're doing is unfair."

"How would you feel if someone raped Louisa?" Brian asked.

"I would be crushed." Max said. "But I fail to see the correlation since I'm not Louisa's brother."

"Aha!" Brian said.

"Now you've stopped making sense." Salrin said.

"Oh trust me." Brian said. "You'll see."

Louisa, Max and Salrin looked at each other and shrugged. It was clear to them that Brian had indeed gone off the deep end.

Meanwhile, Jessica was still sweating.

"Well Ms. Nam?" Kiyoko asked impatiently.

"Do I have a choice?" Jessica asked.

"Yes and yes." Kiyoko repeated.

"…The second one?" Jessica asked.

"Yes it is then!" Kiyoko said. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I leave you at that. Keep in mind though even the defendant's own attorney agreed that he should be locked up. So when you deliberated, let this and God's own will guild your judgment. Thank you. No more questions your honor."

Lee nodded and Kiyoko took her seat. Lee then looked at Jessica. "Questions?"

"What's the point?" Jessica asked and she got up and sat down. It was then that Matthew knew he was going to be convicted.

"Defense, your witness?" Sharn asked.

"I think I'll pass." Jessica said. "I'm sick of hearing the word Objection."

"Very well." Sharn said. "Prosecution, call your witness."

Charlie stood up. "I would like to call to the stand Matthew of Ostia."

Matthew sighed and got up. He trudged slowly to the stand, carrying his heavy shackles.

Sonia once again held out the book for him and he placed his hand on it. "Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you sat- err, God?"

"I do." Matthew said.

"Yeah right." Sonia said. "But take a seat anyways."

Matthew sighed and sat down.

Charlie walked up to Matthew. "Okay, Matthew. I am going to give you a simple Rorschach Test. I am going to hold up random pictures and you give me your first impression. Okay?"

"Sounds simple enough." Matthew said.

"Okay." Charlie said. He held up the first picture…which was really just Samantha in the skimpiest of outfits you could ever imagine. "What do you see."

Matthew's jaw instantly hit the ground as a stream of gibberish spilled forth.

"Matthew?" Charlie asked. "In English if you please?"

"Gahgah…hot…gha……….." Matthew jabbered.

"Okay, I think I have a clear reaction." Charlie said. He looked at the Jury who nodded. "Next picture." Charlie held up a picture of a mountain of gold.

Matthew's eyes immediately began to gleam. "I…want…mine…all…mine." He stammered. Charlie stowed the picture.

"Okay, I think we know what you're thinking there as well." Charlie glanced at the jury who nodded. The glanced at Matthew and shook their heads sadly.

Matthew noticed the eyes on him and knew that he had screwed up. But he couldn't control himself. And he bet that if someone had shown Charlie a picture of Kiyoko NOT stealing his stuff, he would go crazy as well.

"Okay, final picture." Charlie said. He held up a picture of a killing edge for Matthew.

"Ohh, shiny." Matthew said. "It's a killing edge."

Charlie quickly stowed the picture. "Is that all you think about? Killing?"

"No." Matthew said quickly. "But that was a killing edge."

"It was a toy made to shape like one!" Charlie said. "Honestly, you're so violent." He turned to the jury. "Is this the kind of man we want running free in our streets? I don't think so. So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please, don't let this man run free anymore. Think of your children and what this man could do to them. Thank you."

Charlie turned and sat down in his seat. He and Kiyoko exchanged high fives under the table.

Meanwhile, Jessica had gotten up.

"Matthew…" She started without preamble. "Would you say that you've been an honest working man?" She asked.

"Objection." Charlie said. "Leading the witness."

"Sustained." Aeros said. "Rephrase that please Ms. Nam."

"Matthew." Jessica said keeping her temper down. "Would you say that you worked for Ostia?"

"Yes." Matthew said.

"And you've worked hard?" Jessica asked.

"Very." Matthew said.

"Have you ever engaged in acts such as that for which you are on trial?" Jessica asked.

"No." Matthew said.

"Did you rape Samantha?" Jessica asked.

"No." Matthew said. "I don't, I care about her too much to do something like that to her."

"Thank you." Jessica said. "No more questions your honor… your honor?"

Jessica looked up to see the three judges, the jury, and the prosecutors stare at something behind them with a pale face. She slowly turned around. To her horror, Oswin, Marcus and Merlinus were there, still in their drags.

'No wonder nobody objected…' Jessica thought as she fought the urge to throw up.

"Bailiffs!" Lee shouted. "GET THEM OUT OF HERE!"

"WE CAN'T!" Sonia yelled. "IT'S TOO HIDEOUS TO BEHOLD!"

"Somebody get them outta here!" Sharn yelled. "Before it's too late!"

"Ugh….feeling…nauseated." Charlie moaned. Kiyoko was patting his back, trying to keep him from throwing up. Brian was up with is restore staff, keeping the Mage-y Triplets as well as the young children from throwing up. He was doing his best to block the vision of the younger children. Kate was going around handing out antacids to people. As for the jury, they were either looking away, fighting the urge to puke, or worried about their children.

"GET THEM OUTTA HERE!" Aeros yelled.

"WE CAN'T!" Lulu said. "IT'S TOO SICKENING!"

"GOD! THIS IS WORSE THAN MANFAYE!" Charlie cried.

"MARCUS! WHAT THE HELL!" Hector screamed. "WHY ARE YOU HERE!"

"Sir!" Marcus said. "Those two devils, Kate and Kiyoko did this! This is all their fault."

Lee looked over at Kiyoko and Kate. "Do you have proof ma'am…err I mean sir?"

"Well…" Marcus said. "No, but it was them!"

"That doesn't help." Aeros said. "Now please get out of here."

"Your honor." Kiyoko said. "This is obviously a distraction concocted by Matthew to divert attention from his actions."

"It would seem so." Lee said.

"WHAT!" Matthew cried. "Why would I put the three oldest men into DRAGS! It's sickening!"

"So! Why would you rape poor Samantha!" Brian asked as he tossed a burned out Restore stave and pulled out another. "Somebody get those three out of here!"

The three drag queens were indeed having an effect on everyone. Priscilla was holding her stomach as Karel tried to calm her down. Karla buried her face into Raven's shoulder.

"HOLD ME!" Eliwood cried as he faced Lyn. Lyn quickly smacked him. Vaida covered her eyes with her hair, glad that the atrocious things were good for something. Nils looked away as Hawkeye, who was the only one unaffected, blocked the view for many people. Ninian jumped into Guy's arms and was crying a little.

"MARCUS!" Lyn yelled. "GET YOU AND YOUR DRAG QUEENS OUTTA HERE!"

"Not until Kate and Kiyoko pays for this!" Marcus said.

"Your honor, this is obvious a dirty tactic to undermine me." Kiyoko said.

"It is." Lee looked up at Marcus, Oswin and Merlinus and shuddered. "I would advise you to leave or else you will continue to harm the defense."

"Your honor." Marcus began. "I wou-"

"JUST GO!" Hector roared. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO!"

"You're scaring Wilson!" Geitz screamed patting the bird that was nested in his hair.

"Poor little Wilson." Isadora sobbed.

"Fine!" Marcus said. "But we'll be back."

"NO!" Lee yelled. "PLEASE NO!"

Marcus, Merlinus and Oswin finally conceded and left the courtroom.

"Is everyone okay?" Lee asked.

"We're shaken." Brian announced surveying the audience. "But we seem to be fine."

"Okay, court will now recess." Lee said. "Come back in an hour. Court adjourned."

* * *

Charlie: Yes…that is not a good thing to do.

Erk: Nope, it isn't. Thank god I'm still snuggled with my sweet Rebecca.

Charlie: Dude, don't flaunt it.

Erk: HA! I know why you're so bitter now! You don't have a girlfriend.

Charlie: …I fail to see the relevance.

Erk: HA! I knew it!

Charlie: Okay, why do I need a girlfriend? I mean, Kiyoko pretty much leeches me dry. I can't afford a girlfriend.

Erk: Excuses excuses.

Charlie: Okay…whatever.

Erk: You know it's true.

Charlie: The part about not having a girlfriend is true, the part about being BITTER about it is not.

Erk: See, you're bitter.

Charlie: Okay, whatever…anyways On to the little tidbit. I'm gonna start this thing where I interview a character or two at the end of each chapter. So yeah… this did spawn from a weird dream.

* * *

**Interview with Erk and Rebecca:**

Charlie(writer): So, Erk, Rebecca, how does it feel?

Erk(Story Erk, not muse Erk): It feels great. I finally feel complete.

Rebecca: Aww, that's sweet.

Charlie: Tell me about your story.

Rebecca: Well, I first met him back in Laus. He was talking to that cleric, Serra. Of course, I thought he was an enemy so I sent an arrow wizzing by his head.

Erk: Yeah, that didn't go well with me.

Charlie: I can imagine.

Erk: Anyways, we spent the next what, seven months or so fighting.

Rebecca: Yep, then you dragged us into Silent Springs.

Charlie: Heh, Sorry, did that ruin things?

Rebecca: Well, now that we suddenly got dropped into a peaceful scenario where we didn't have to worry about being attacked, I kinda mellowed out.

Erk: Then there's that hot springs scene.

Rebecca: Yes, that was just evil. I wanted to kill you for that.

Charlie: Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it.

Erk: I was to drunk to enjoy it. But either way, it made me think about Rebecca…like a lot.

Charlie: And?

Erk: Well, I kinda realized that I fought with her just so I could be close to her. I really just wanted to be with her.

Rebecca: -hugs Erk- Aww, that's sweet.

Erk: Yes, well, then I kinda played with the idea of going out. The ring was a good coincidence.

Rebecca: It was.

Charlie: -sweat- Err, yeah, we'll go with that.

Rebecca: Anyways, that night, something just snapped in me…twice. I just wanted him.

Erk: At first I was surprised…then well, something inside me told me it was right.

Rebecca: And the rest is all history.

Charlie: Indeed it is…well, thank you for your time…I hope you used protection, and now I must leave before you kill me. -runs-

* * *

Charlie: Don't ask…when I get to interviewing my alter ego, it gets interesting (I apparently hate myself for doing this to myself)**Reviewer Corner n.n**

Jerry: Sorry man, just some people do take it the wrong way. So, it wasn't specifically directed at you, it was directed at everyone else. Sorry for your loss though. The London tragedy was horrible. I hope this will cheer you up.

RWT: Yes, poor them. Lee was just having fun. Don't worry about the rating or Yaoi and whatnot. It won't happen.

Aramin RVN: I finally got unlazy! Yay! Anyways, the Ilian drinking song I do indeed own Carey credit.

Faith's Fate: Heh, thanks. There's less organization in this than you think. I'm just really good at Ad-Libbing things (Ask my English grade). As for Harken and Wallace, I didn't forget them. They'll come soon. Renault…yeah, I forgot him…but then again, I don't like him much…plus I never use him so I can't play off his personality much anymore.

Kiyoko-Chan: Yay for multitasking! Poor Matthew indeed, but I said he would get a trial…not a fair trial. I was on crack when I made that drinking song. Anyways, hope you do well on your midterms! I got the Lyrics off Anime yeah… can't read Japanese anyways, so I wouldn't know n.n;;; Oh well, take care of yourself! Eat your veggies (Or else I spoon feed you veggies. You must stay healthy!)

Draknal: Yeah, Kate and Kiyoko can be cruel at times (shudders). Kevin……poor Kevin. I don't care about Marcus since he sucks…but poor Kevin. Anyways, the drinking song is from Whose Line. -nodnod-

KevinC: Eheh, I bet the IV isn't helping that much. Your poor library. At least the security systems still work. Anyhow, I think this is out before you go to China. Oh, and if you ever swing by Shanghai, and meet anybody who knows me, say hi to them for me!

Cool-kid-falcon: Heh, thanks for the review. I hope all goes well with your fic.

Lilylisa31: umm.. :).

Silverfox09: Heh, we've got a LONG way to go. Pie and pocky rock! Hope this continues to amuse.

Dreamer of Riddles: Personally, I think everyone over the age of 10 in Silent Springs is insane. Including the Psycologist. But yes, that was quite the traumatizing incident. As for the sniper, yeah, that was family guy, ya got me. Pity Matt. I'm pretty sure Erk enjoyed his five hour screw. Heh, if I do have to go to the ER, save me a pie from that bake sale n.n;;;

Samantha: Hehe, yep! That was Tsubasa wa Pleasure Line. -gives cookie- As for the drinking song…it's true…I do have a…umm…slightly homosexual professor, and Man-Faye DOES need to shave. Hehe, take care. (Oh gods…two of you…)

SacredBlade: Heh, thanks.

RemedyTheThief: Hehe, COOKIES! n.n Is this fast enough?

NorthernSword: Eheh, thanks for the support!

FIREEMBLEMFREAK 252: Yay! Christmas Story! Christmas in July! WEE! Hehe, the Elimine gag I stole from Family Guy. Yes, I am obsessed.

Nickolus Elflame: I think every guy who read this is now jealous of Erk. Dunno about the girls though. Anyways, I've checked out your story. I don't think I've reviewed yet…since I'mma lazy bum -cough- I should do that sometime today.

Nightmare3: Anime Expo was awesome! Except for Man-Faye…that was NOT awesome. Heh, the Ilian Drinking Song did spawn from Man-Faye though.

Jackswitch: I will NEVER deny my Matthew-Bashing! Although Kiyoko is a Matthew-Fangirl…yes, she does want to kill me. Fortunately, she has a bad sense of direction…so I'm safe…I hope.

BlackHole CO: Wow…just…wow… Your little convo tidbits were funny though! They crack me up. As for the rude remarks about FE, eh, I do that sometimes. The RNG in that thing can piss anyone off. I shall await your character profile.

Manamage: Rath is there, he's just keeping a low profile for now. As for Wallace (and Harken) I'm planning their entrance.

Charlie: Whoo…okay anyways. -points to BlackHole- He is the absolute last application for Grim Reaper that I am taking. Sorry to anyone who still wants to..but I have too many apps already.

Erk: Yep.

Charlie: And I shall leave Erk to end for me. Just don't listen to him. I love you all!

Erk: And give Charlie pie.

Charlie: I mean listen to him.

Erk: And Charlie needs a girlfriend.

Charlie: I mean don't listen to him.

Erk: And give Charlie pie.

Charlie: …You're doing this to me on purpose you bastard.

Erk: Yep. Dude, you seriously need a girl to keep you under control.

Charlie: …There's a difference between what I need and what I want.

Erk: You know you want one.

Charlie: You know what, -drags Erk into a closet, horrible screams of pain are heard-


	18. Trial of Fate III: Lunchbreak

Charlie: Hello everyone. I seem to be updating fast lately. Ahem, anyways, on to the lunch break of the trial. This may seem a bit fillerish, but there are some hints in there as to how the trial may turn out. Plus it's also the first lunch that's not set in the restaurant. Well, enjoy.

Erk: And he doesn't own FE.

Charlie: Ahh yes, Erk. Now, did we learn something last time?

Erk: …You are not a bitter person until you get pissed off.

Charlie: Thank you. (I love torturing Erk. But he's still cool). Anyways, enjoy.

* * *

**Trial of Fate**

Part III: Lunchbreak

As the audience began to shuffle slowly out of the temple into the front yard for a picnic-ish lunch, the prosecutors, Jessica, Matthew, the three Judges and the Jury stayed back to chat.

Matthew and Jessica were huddled at their table talking intensively, while the prosecutors and the Jury were holding light conversation.

"You're doing good kids." Glenn said approaching Charlie and Kiyoko. "Keep it up and you'll have this case wrapped up."

"I liked your Rhorschach Test!" Alan said. He glanced around. "Say…can I have a copy of the first picture?"

Charlie and Kiyoko immediately smacked their friend over the head.

"And you call ME a pervert!" Charlie asked incredulously.

"Hey, I was just joking!" Alan said indignantly.

Just then, Lee, Sharn and Aeros made their way over to the prosecutors.

"Good job you two." Lee said. "This case is wrapped up."

"Yeah…but I kinda do feel bad about this." Kiyoko said.

"Whoa…Kiyo feeling bad about something." Dias said. "That doesn't happen every day."

"Well she does have some pity for thieves." Charlie said. "Considering everything in her house she stole from mine."

"Hey!" Kiyoko said. "I dunno, I just feel bad. Matthew really didn't DO anything to Sammy. Besides, we all know Sammy's actually heads over heels for him."

"Whoawhoawhoa!" Christina interrupted. "You mean he really wasn't a rapist?"

"And Sammy actually LIKES him?" Lizzy asked.

"Well… yeah." Lee said. "Didn't you two get the memos? This is all a set up just to keep Brian happy."

"Wait…what!" George said. "A set up?"

"I take it nobody on the jury here actually READ the memo we sent you last night?" Sharn asked.

"I did!" Kate said. "And Fae did."

"I did too!" Alan said. "Well, no, Charlie told me…but yeah, I knew about the set up."

"Okay…" Glenn interrupted. "I think we're all clear that everyone here over the age of twenty one doesn't know what's going on, so you guys mind enlightening us?"

"Well, here's the deal." Charlie said. "Matthew was hugging Samantha in that closet, but as far as we know, Sammy was hugging him back. So there really isn't a case here. Our job is to convict Matthew, pretend to toss him into the cling, and when Brian comes to his senses, we'll let him out."

"Right…" Erimus said. "And I take it we're not the ONLY ones who don't know about the set up." He gestured towards the defendant and his attorney.

"Err…well…you see…" Aeros said. "About that, we just thought it would be more fun to see Matthew sweat a little."

"Yeah, he is taking Sammy away from us." Kate said. "Let him feel the pain."

"…Okay…" Christina said. "Well, at least we know what the trial's gonna be like. Can we sleep the rest of the way?"

"If you can actually sleep through the noise, go ahead." Lee said. "Anyways, why are we still inside? Lets get out, get some food and some fresh air."

"Amen to that." Sharn said. The entire group began to make their way out. Once outside, the group split up. Glenn and his wife found their kids and went over to enjoy a family lunch. Erimus and Lizzy found their little daughter and went to go play with her in the snow. Fureal accosted Aminec and dragged her off to one side, much to the amusement of everyone else. Fae and Dias found Sonia and Lulu as they sat down to have lunch together. George went over to where his wife and daughter were cooing over baby Ben. As for Kate, Charlie, Kiyoko and Alan, they found a nice spot under a tree and opened up their packed lunches.

"That was fun though." Kiyoko squealed.

"I don't get her." Alan said. "One minute she feels horrible, and the next she's all bubbly about it."

"Hey, at least you don't have to live next door to her." Charlie said.

"That's mean Chawee!" Kate said smacking him upside the head.

"Ow! Well, it's true." Charlie said.

"Aww…did I do something bad niisan!" Kiyoko asked innocently.

Charlie glanced down at the girl giving him the puppy dog eyes. "…Okay, now I KNOW you're doing this to me on purpose…"

"Niisan?" Alan asked. "Isn't that Ilian for 'big brother?'"

"Yeah…" Charlie said. "She's just tormenting me."

"Hehe!" Kiyoko squealed again.

"Oh you kids, just eat your food." Kate said.

As they ate, Jessica and Matthew finally made it out of the courtyard. Jessica turned towards Matthew.

"We'll be fine okay?" Jessica said. "Just relax."

"I'll try." Matthew said.

"Good…have a good lunch." Jessica said. Then she left, finding her usual spot near the two male lords. Matthew sighed, and went over to enjoy what could possibly be his last lunch ever.

"Hey, there's the rapist." Legault said as he watched Matthew approach where he and Jaffar were eating.

"Stuff it." Matthew growled. "I didn't do anything."

"Geez, you don't have to be so bitter." Legault said. "Lighten up. Have a burrito."

Matthew sighed and took the burrito that Legault extended to him. "This sucks." Matthew said as he took a bite. "That trial is rigged."

"Gee, ya think?" Legault asked. "But it's weird, Charlie and Kiyoko are normally nice people. Why are they doing this to you?"

"Who knows…." Matthew said. "Brian was nice to me at first."

"Yeah…guess some people just change." Legault said. He looked over at Jaffar. "Yo, you gonna say anything?"

"…" Jaffar glanced over at Legault and Matthew then continued to eat.

"Gee… whatta grouch." Legault said.

Matthew just shrugged and continued to eat his burrito, praying that things would change in the second half of the trial.

Meanwhile, Jessica was bitching her heart out to Hector and Eliwood.

"THAT STUPID (Bleeping) TRAIL! I'LL OUTTA KILL ALL THOSE STUPID (Bleeping) MOTHER-" (I think you get the point.)

"Umm…Jessica…" Hector said. "You're scaring me. And if you're scaring me, think of what you're doing to poor Eliwood."

"Make her stop!" Eliwood said clinging onto Hector's arm.

Jessica just growled more. She moved over to Eliwood, raised an arm, and slapped him silly. "SNAP OUT OF IT! ARE YOU A MAN OR NOT!"

"I'M SORRY!" Eliwood screeched. He let go of Hector's arm and whirled around to cling onto Jessica. Unfortunately, his aim was off that day. When the snow and dust settled. Jessica was on the ground on her back with Eliwood half collapsed on top of her. His hands were unfortunately covering two soft mounds of flesh on Jessica's chest.

"…Oh…….crap…" Eliwood said as his face flushed. Jessica's face turned completely red, partially out of embarrassment, partially out of anger, partially out of something else. Unfortunately, right now, the only thoughts that are going through her mind are how to kill Eliwood.

Hector stood back and watched the scene with amusement.

"Erm…" He said clearing his throat. "There are little kids here…if you two want to you know… get it on, you can get a room at the inn later."

Jessica stood up, grabbing Eliwood by the collar. "When I get through with him…" Jessica growled. "You better not be standing here."

With that, she calmly dragged Eliwood behind the church out of view from everyone. The last thing Hector heard before he moved away were terrible screams of pain.

Meanwhile, Samantha was still in the comforting embrace of the sister she never had…also known as Lyn. She was sitting with Lyn, the three Pegasus sisters and basically the rest of the army. Almost everyone knew that Matthew and Samantha liked each other, especially after that very convincing show they put up during the first raid by Kitty's Bandits.

"Aww, it's gonna be all right…" Lyn said patting Samantha on the back. "Your brother is really mean."

"I'm sure he means well…" Samantha sniffed. "But… this is just too much."

'Actually…I support him.' Stewie pipped up.

'Oh shut up Stewie…' Samantha snapped back. 'Can't you see I'm brooding?'

'Yes…' Stewie said. 'Can't you see that I don't care?'

'Sniff… YOU'RE SOOO MEAN!' Samantha said crying again.

'Well…DUH? I'm an evil bastard trying to take over the world.' Stewie said. 'Sheesh…and you've known me for how long?'

Lyn was surprised to see Samantha start crying again. She and Florina began to comfort her again. Meanwhile, Farina, much to Fiora's dismay, was taking bets on the outcome of the trial.

"Hurry hurry hurry! We've got 10,000 to 1 odds on Matthew! Any takers?" Farina was announcing.

"Farina!" Fiora chastised. "Stop it."

"Oh come on, it's all in fun." Farina said.

"I'll take five gold against Matthew." Someone muttered from the side.

"Yeah, like that'll get you any return." Farina said.

Meanwhile, Sain was missing his normal friends. Lowen was still at the inn taking care of Nino. Marcus was hopefully getting out of his drag, and Isadora was feeding Wilson with Geitz. As for Kent, Sain didn't know if he was still with Serra, or already dead.

Sighing, he went over to where Florina sat. The Pegasus knight had gotten a bit better at being close to him, but she still twitched and jumped occationally.

"Hey…" Sain said. "Mind some company?"

Lyn glared daggers at Sain, but was soon preoccupied by Samantha's whimpering again. Florina looked between Samantha and Sain, unable to decide whom she wanted to be with. It was only until Heath came over to help Lyn out did Lyn finally wink at the young Pegasus knight and told her to go with Sain. So Florina went over and snuggled up to the perverted paladin for warmth. The two ate their lunches in each other's company. As Florina ate, she felt warm and safe sitting in Sain's lap, but something was missing. She looked up. Sain still looked like Sain, but when he wasn't being his usual flirty, perverted self, it just…wasn't the same. She sighed, and then mentally kicked herself for thinking that she actually wanted the brown haired man to be perverted with her.

Vaida watched Sain and Florina snuggle. It was weird, seeing the normally shy girl actually warm up to the most perverted man in the army. But as a hired hand, it wasn't her place to question. Besides, she wasn't interested one way or another. Sighing, she poked at her lunch and brushed strands of silky blonde hair out of her face. She had to admit, the hair did feel good in her hands, but they just…got in the way…of basically…everything.

Suddenly, she felt a shadow over her. She looked back to see Hector standing there.

"What is it?" Vaida asked gruffly. "I don't have time for your insults if that's what you're here for."

"Still the same old Vaida eh?" Hector asked. "They can make you look pretty, but they can make your personality pretty."

"Stuff it little man." Vaida growled. "I'm not in the mood."

"Little man? I'm taller and bigger than you." Hector growled.

"And I'm supposed to care?" Vaida said. "What do you want?"

"I just want to talk okay?" Hector said. "Eliwood's getting his butt kicked for groping Jessica and I'm bored."

"Okay, I did NOT need to hear that first part." Vaida said. "I'm not a conversationalist either. But if you want to talk, go right ahead. I'm not stopping you."

Hector shrugged. He sat down and tried in vain to start a conversation. As he did, he wished fervently that Eliwood would go and get his ass kicked soon so he can go talk to him again. But he had to admit…the new Vaida does…look…rather… beautiful.

Hector kicked himself to rid his mind of such thoughts.

As this was going on, Guy and Ninian took the chance to sneak away. They went to where the cliff holding the temple gave away to a steep gorge. The two sat down and enjoyed the view.

Guy and Ninian were an odd couple. They had nothing in common other than the fact that neither of them was good at talking to the opposite sex, other than relatives. However, having spent two days together, and with the generally romantic atmosphere cast on by Erk and Rebecca, slow feelings began to develop between the two.

Unfortunately, there was one person who didn't like it. As the couple made their way to the side of the gorge, Nils slowly trailed them.

"Oh…Guy…you are DEAD if you touch my sister…" Nils muttered. Suddenly, a large shadow loomed over him.

"What are you doing?" A curious voice asked.

Nils jumped and looked back into Hawkeye, who despite the freezing cold was STILL half naked.

"Spying on my sister." Nils said. "And aren't you cold?"

"I'm fine… you shouldn't spy on your sister." Hawkeye said. He picked Nils up. "Come, we go see if the trail will start soon.

"HEY! WAIT! STOP! PUT ME DOWN!" Nils yelled. Before they vanished from his sight, Nils saw Ninian slowly place her head on Guy's shoulder.

"YOU WILL DIE GUY! I SWEAR IT!" Nils screamed as he was hopelessly carried away.

Charlie watched as Nils was bodily dragged away by Hawkeye.

"I think these people have too much energy…" The innkeeper said. "Must be the non-battlefield locale."

"Well, they did spend like the last few months of their lives constantly on the run. You throw that factor out and they don't have an outlet for all their energy." Kate said. "There's also the danger factor. Since there's nothing here that would jump at them with a sword, they've probably taken to hallucinations. Plus they've just got so much pent up fighting energy that it's probably just getting out."

"…" The entire group was silent.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Sometimes, you never cease to amaze us Kate." Alan said. "Oh by the way, Glenn wanted me to tell you that the Winter Ball is in three days."

"WHAT!" Charlie said. "Oh wait… yeah, that should be right…crap, I lost track of the days."

"Yep, so who are you taking?" Alan asked.

Charlie glanced at Kiyoko who was blissfully munching on some pocky. "Err… do you want to take Kiyoko?"

"N…O…" Alan said. "Frankly, you're the only one who can put up with her for more than an hour at time."

"Blah…George told me last year that if my date comes in a pair of pants again, he'll put ME in a dress." Charlie said. "So…what are my chances of putting Kiyoko into a dress?"

"Slim to none." Kate said. "Slim left town last week so you're left with none."

"Crap…" Charlie said.

"Well, look on the bright side." Alan said. "Maybe you'll look good in lace."

"If you EVER say that again." Charlie growled. "I WILL kill you."

"Ehehe…fine." Alan said. He glanced at the pocky heaven girl again. "But seriously, good luck man…"

"I think I'll need more than luck." Charlie said. "But anyways, it's time to go in. Lee's waving."

Indeed, the judge was waving at everyone to go back into the court. So slowly, Charlie snapped Kiyoko out of her pocky trance and the prosecutors and the jury entered the hall again, followed by the rest of the observers. Soon, everyone was settled in… everyone that is except for the defense attorney.

"Matthew…" Sharn said. "Where is Jessica?"

"I have no idea." Matthew said.

"Well, she better get here soon." Sharn said. "We can't wait-"

He was interrupted as Jessica, brushing snow from her clothes, calmly strolled in.

"Sorry your honor." Jessica said. "I was taking care of some trash."

"Very good Ms. Nam." Sharn said. "Now, court is in session."

Lee hit the gavel on the little pad. "Defense, your witness please."

Jessica smiled evilly.

"The defense calls Prosecutor Charlie Wu to the stand." She said calmly.

Charlie did a double take. "Me?"

"Yes… you." Jessica said.

"Prosecutor, please take the stand." Lee said.

Charlie got up and walked over, putting his hands on the bible that Sonia held out.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?" Sonia asked.

"I do." Charlie said.

"Have a seat." Lee said. "Your witness defense."

"All right…" Jessica said getting up.

Charlie gulped as he saw the murderous look in Jessica's eyes. It was then that he remembered the mantra that he had so adhered to his entire life…

_Anything that can go wrong...WILL go wrong...

* * *

_

Charlie: Wee! Yeah, I think we needed to be reminded of the motto. Just because Matthew's in trouble now DOES NOT MEAN that he will spend the rest of life in jail. Anyways, yeah, a few issues I really need to address below. (If you're like me and read other people's reviews, you know what I'm talking about)

Erk: Oh yeah, and no interview this week.

Charlie: Yeah, too many chapters, not enough characters, so I'll spread them out. Like every time a couple gets together or something big happens to a character, I'll interview that character. -nod-

**Reviewer Corner n.n**

: I am so sorry. Shall I play you a song on the world's smallest violin? -Rubs thumb and index finger together-

TheWatcherandReader: Eh, it's okay, chores are a pain though. It's kinda weird seeing the FE characters hysterical, but then I like making my characters hyper. Then again, you do have a point. I'll try to tone them down.

AuthoroftheDark: Okay… guys look. Personally, I DON'T LIKE MATTHEW. He is not a good character. He gets hit more often then not, he has sucky stat growths. And frankly, unless you waste ALL your stat up items on him, he just isn't worth using. Don't try telling me to spend time training him because I DO spend time training him. The thing about Matthew is just that he's not good. OHKOs are cool, so if you LIKE Matthew, by all means, go ahead. But frankly, I just don't like him because he causes too many restarts on my games. Don't try to deny it because you KNOW that Matthew isn't that good and he relies on OHKOs to actually kill half the time.

Is that a good enough reason for ya? It's just a personal preference. I just don't like Matthew. I think he sucks. Feel free to disagree with me on AIM. (This is directed towards everyone who hates me because I put Matthew into jail. It's ridiculous, I put Oswin into a drag and make him miserable but nobody cares, I stuff Matthew into jail and everyone jumps down my throat.)

LaFia: Wow, logged-in-ness! n.n Hehe, making up words here. Glad you like this.

Rlnaruhina: Ohh, Sain/Florina! I likes that pairings (Speaking of which, I need to develop that pairing as well after the trial.) Err anyways. I'll be looking for that! I hope all goes well.

Kiyoko-Chan: Eheh, you'll have to do better than green tea pocky young lady. We need ya to be healthy. Anyways, the courtroom thing…well, I kinda just stole the general attitude I had when we had a mock trial at school. That was a fun exercise. Hehe, oh well, have fun with your manga (and your bag). Eat well, stay healthy! -niisan naggyness-

your mam: …I am so sorry I made you mad. Do you want a cookie? How about some milk? Huh? Poor baby.

BlAcK hOlE cO: Thank you. The point of my author notes and these reviewer responses are for me to address any problems and concerns you guys have. These are for YOU, not for ME. I spend time doing this to clear any confusing that may arise from some situations in the actual fic. If you don't want to read it, then don't read it. Last time I checked, it was not Seriously, pointless flaming of fics…okay, at least that's relevant. But pointless flaming of author notes! Again, thanks for sticking up for me. I appreciate it very much.

Lao Who Mai: Yep, it is indeed unfair and biased. But then, trials in US are not normally meant to solve criminal cases, they're meant to give lawyers jobs. The fact that this country is composed of like 30 lawyers is just absurd.

ManaMage: Yep! I like this trial. I think everyone's gonna start to like it more (especially the Matthew luffers).

Draknal: Aww, Kiyoko actually likes Matthew. Blame me; I'm the Matthew hater. Though I admit, this ain't one of Kiyo's more defining moments. She gets better though. After this, it's back to the cute little thief whom we all love. As for the drags…yeah, that DEFINITELY didn't help Matthew's case. 'Twas funny writing it though!

misSkLutzZz: Hehe, hope you had fun on your vacation! I was feeling hyper so I gots two chappies up. Poor Matthew indeed.

SacredBlade: Eheh, thanks. I try to bring out my best. Though sometimes I get sloppy… blame school…bleh. Not fun. Anyways, I hope this'll continue to be good.

z-animatr: Eheh… does this chapter answer your question? Don't worry about Matthew, things will take care of themselves.

RemedyTheThief: Yay! More cookies! Guy/Ninian was…just random. They'll develop more than the little blurb I have about them in this chap.

Northernsword: Yay! Support stave! I must thank you much for the support n.n

Jackswitch: Eheh, we'll let the couple rest some more. Going at it for five hours can break a man…and a girl for that matter.

Jerry: Wow… you're okay right? Anyways, Brian's just overreacting. I'm sure all us older brothers would (Okay, we won't but yeah…actually, I don't know where I'm going with this). As for the trial…looks like things have taken an interesting turn of events.

Inferno-Hero: Yes, Matthew -cough- must die! But not now… soon though…soon…. Ad-Libbing 'tis fun!

Nightmare3: Unfortunately, Silent Springs is indeed this crazy. I'm not sure you want to live there though. (If I ever get to the epilogue, you'll know why). And never piss of Katie or Kiyoko. That's like…instant death wish.

BlackHole CO: Hehe, that's some party with all that in it. As for description…err…yeah, I'll get to it…eventually. Trial's like a side story. We'll get to the couplings soon. Once again, your shorts crack me up. (But my brian 'sploded from the logic)

FIREEMBLEMFREAK 252: Nils will play Tim… YAY! CHRISTMAS CAROL! (I love that play). Hehe, the trial is unfair, but eh, it doesn't matter in the end now does it? I like your new fics though! Really nice! I should review…once I stop being lazy… err… yeah… I get lazy too much n.n;;;;

Charlie: Woo, thanks to everyone who read and review. I appreciate all your support. As for some of you, I'm really sorry I went semi-psycho-bitch on you guys. Its just… it gets frustrating. I spend a lot oftime writing these fics and these responses and people call me an idiot or flames me because of some pointless thing or a mere difference of opinion. So yeah… sorry… I did get a little ranty this time. Anyways, I still love you all. Hope you'll continue to support me.

Erk: And…I should just keep quiet right?

Charlie: Yep…unless… -glances at torture devices-

Erk: staying silent!

Charlie: Good n.n


	19. Trial of Fate IV: Turning the Tables

Charlie: 'ello all, sorry about lateish update. It's been a really really hectic week for me and I've just been tired. So yeah, anyways, on to the next part of the trial. All you Matthew lovers can shut up now.

Erk: Yeah… he's really pissed off… read the reviews from a guy named "?" and you'll know why. Anyways, on with the fic.

* * *

**Trail of Fate**

Part IV: Turning the Tables

At around one in the afternoon, Lugia put down her quill and paper pad and wiped some sweat from her brow. Because Sonia was at the trial, she had set the thief girl to work taking an inventory of the entire store. Working fast and trying hard to resist the urge to steal, Lugia finally finished a little after lunchtime. With nothing to do and nobody to talk to, she quickly became bored. Finally, she got up and walked out, deciding to go to the trial and join in the fun.

Walking out into the main path, she saw some people exit the inn as well. Sonia had told her about an army staying at the inn, and Lugia wondered if they were part of that army. Letting curiosity get the best of her, she slowly walked over to the group exiting the inn.

Outside the inn, Lowen was cautiously giving a still half asleep Nino a piggy back ride to the temple, while Serra, Kent, Priscilla, Karel and of course the lovely couple, Erk and Rebecca walked around them. Serra was keeping her mind off Erk and Rebecca's hand holding by calling Lowen Nino's big brother.

Sighing, Kent gave up on trying to control Serra and looked forward. He noticed a lone figure slowly approaching them.

"Hello." Kent called out waving a little. He managed to get the entire groups attention directed towards the lone figure. Kent had to admit, she was really pretty, but then again, his nature kept him from being irrational. He only thanked his lucky stars that Sain wasn't around to hit on the poor girl.

"Heya!" The girl called out. "Are you guys those visitors who are staying here at the inn?"

"Yes." Kent said. "We are. I haven't seen you around before. My name is Kent." He then gestured towards the rest of the group. "This is Serra, Erk, Rebecca, Priscilla, Karel, Nino, and that's Lowen piggy backing her."

"Hiyas!" The girl said cheerfully. "I'm Lugia! I uhh, actually I just came to town last night, so I'm really lost. Are you guys going to the temple?"

"Actually, we are." Rebecca said. "Wanna come with us?"

"Can I?" Lugia asked.

"Of course!" Rebecca said. "The more the merrier!"

Lugia squealed. Rebecca quickly left Erk's side to go gossip with her new friend. Kent just laughed a bit and sighed.

"They're like mirror images." He said.

"Tell me about it…" Erk mumbled. "Anyways, lets go."

So the group set out for the temple, with Rebecca and Lugia's high-pitched laughter leading the way.

Meanwhile, Charlie was staring at Jessica's face as the tactician/attorney passed about in front of him looking all introspective and stuff.

"Ms. Nam…" Lee said. "Is this going to take long?"

"I'm just setting the mood." Jessica said. She took a deep breath and turned towards Charlie, who was nearly falling asleep on the witness stand.

"Now…" Jessica. "Mr. Wu."

"Yes?" Charlie asked.

"Is it true in the summer three years past you had a little incident?" Jessica said.

"Would you clarify?" Charlie asked.

"I shall. Three years ago, is it true that you walked into the female section of the hot springs and touched certain girls inappropriately?" Jessica said glancing at Charlie out of the corner of her eye.

Charlie gulped. "Objection your honor, I really fail to see the relevance to the issue at hand."

"Overrulled." Aeros said. "Please continue, this is getting interesting."

Kiyoko rolled her eyes. "Perverts…" She muttered. She suddenly realized that this was the first time she called someone other than Charlie a pervert.

Charlie began to sweat. "Erm… it is true that I accidentally walked into the wrong side of the hot springs. However, I must protest. I did not purposefully touch anyone inappropriately, and someone had switched the signs thus making me walk unawares into the wrong side."

"Uh huh…" Jessica said. "Right… blame it on others." She turned towards the jury. "Quite fitting isn't it? He blames others for his misfortunes and here he is again, blaming Matthew for something that he didn't do. Is this the kind of person you want to listen to? I don't think so."

"Oh come on!" Charlie burst out. "It was a full blown accident!"

"Prosecutor!" Lee said. "Calm down please."

"Violent too." Jessica added. "Next, last night. Was it true that you and your partner here slept in the same house together?"

"Yes." Charlie said. "I fail to see why that has anything to do with anything. She just fell asleep at my house while taking care of last minute details. I tucked her into my bed and slept in the living room."

"Or so you say." Jessica said. "Or you could've been taking advantage of an underage girl."

"I'm only seventeen myself." Charlie said. "And you're making false assumptions."

"Or am I?" Jessica asked. "From my records, you two have been pretty close."

"Yes, because she's my SISTER." Charlie said.

"By blood?" Jessica asked.

"Well…no…" Charlie said. "But ever since her parents died, my parents took her in. When they moved away because of the hazards of living here, I took care of her. She's like my sister."

"But not by blood." Jessica said.

"No…not by blood." Charlie conceded.

"So, technically, all the sister and family crap could be a cover up." Jessica said.

"Technically." Charlie said. "But again, your assumption has no base whatsoever."

"Or does it?" Jessica asked. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Kiyoko is a charming girl. She's pretty, young and has a fun personality. Charlie here pretends to be her big brother, and one night, she falls asleep at his house. Would any normal man be able to control his testosterone? I don't think so." She looked at Charlie again. "Unless his sexual orientation is in question here."

"Oh..now that is just LOW." Charlie said. "Nothing…HAPPENED OKAY!"

"If you say so." Jessica said. She looked at the jury. "I leave it up to you to decide that. No more questions."

Lee nodded. He looked over to Kiyoko. "Questions?"

"No your honor." Kiyoko said. "No questions."

"Very well." Lee said. "Prosecutor, go back to your seat."

Grumbling, Charlie got up and went back to his seat.

"You okay?" Kiyoko asked once he sat down.

"I am…" Charlie said. He glared up at Lee, Aeros and Sharn. "But once I get my hands on them, they won't be."

"Come on Charlie…" Kiyoko said. "It'll be all right."

Before they could continue, Lee spoke again. "Defense, your witness again?"

"Defense calls on Prosecutor Kiyoko W Lee." Jessica said.

Kiyoko gulped. "On second thought…" She whispered as she went up to the stand. "Those three bums are dying later…"

Outside, a lone body was half buried in the snow. It was a young man, with a tuff of red hair. He was bloody, bruised, and had many displaced bones. Painfully, he crawled out from a ditch behind the temple to the front where he fainted, hoping someone would notice him before he died.

Moments later, Lugia and Rebecca along with the group who were now getting rather annoyed at the loud cheerful girls appeared over the hill. The slowly approached the temple, with Lugia and Rebecca still laughing at random jokes and everyone else just groaning. Nino was still slumped over Lowen, half asleep.

Suddenly, Kent noticed someone in front of the temple.

"Oh my god!" Kent cried. "Look!" He pointed to the half buried man.

Lugia and Rebecca fell silent as the entire group followed Kent's gaze. Suddenly they all saw the man.

"Oh my god…is he still alive!" Priscilla asked.

"I don't know." Kent said. "Come on! We have to go help."

Quickly, everyone ran over and dug the man up from the snow. They gasped when they saw who it was.

"Lord Eliwood!" Erk said surprised. "What happened to you!"

Eliwood was still unconscious so he couldn't answer him. Serra and Priscilla quickly ran up and groped around for a pulse.

"He's weak…" Serra said, her fingers on Eliwood's pulmonary vein in the neck. "We gotta get him to a warmer place."

"The temple?" Lugia offered.

"No, there's a trial going on." Priscilla said. "Not enough space. How about the school?"

"That works." Serra said. "Come on, lets go."

"Karel, Kent, carry him." Priscilla said.

Kent nodded and quickly ran over to host Eliwood's head and shoulders up. He looked over at Karel and waited.

"Hello!" Priscilla said. "Earth to Karel."

"Why are you even bothering?" Karel asked. "He's almost dead anyways."

Priscilla got red in the face. She stormed up to Karel and slapped him across the face. "What is your damn problem!" She raged. "Yes he's ALMOST dead, but we can still save him! He's still a person. Have you no feelings? Oh wait, why am I even asking that? You don't! Hah!"

Karel growled. He instinctively reached for where his sword would've been, but then he remembered that all the weapons were locked up.

"There you go again." Priscilla huffed. "Always killing…ALWAYS killing. You're the type of person who gives humans a bad reputation. It's people like YOU who kill their own species for FUN that bring everyone down. So why don't you do us all a favor and go toss yourself off a cliff."

With that she kicked Karel full on in the crotch and turned around to help Kent and Serra carry Eliwood into the school. As they moved, Serra and Kent glanced at Priscilla periodically. They have yet to see her lose her temper like that ever and it unnerved them. Next to them, Lugia was trying to help as much as she could and Lowen ran along. Nino was fully awake after hearing Priscilla scream. She clung to Lowen and kept asking if Eliwood would be all right. Lowen tried to assure her as much as he could.

Karel crumbled to the ground after receiving the unexpected blow from Priscilla. He twitched, having both his manhood and his pride hurt badly. He laid in the snow and pondered over Priscilla's words. After a while, the pain numbed and he sat up. He looked over towards the schoolyard.

'…Maybe she's right…' He thought. 'But then again…" Karel sighed and slowly trudged into the temple.

Once in the school, Lowen put Nino down and worked with Lugia to arranged some tables into a makeshift bed for Eliwood. After putting Eliwood down, Serra quickly turned to everyone and barked quick instructions.

"Okay…He needs to get out of those soaked clothes. Lowen, Kent, strip him, but be gentle. Lugia, Nino, get into the cafeteria and boil some water. Erk, Rebecca, find any kind of cloth, like towels or a coat or a shirt anything. Lets go."

Everyone nodded and got to their jobs. Lowen and Kent set to work chipping away frost from Eliwood's winter wear and gently pealing away the soaked garmets. Lugia and Nino ran into the kitchen. They found a nice stove and some pots. Quickly filling the pots, they put it over the stove and waited for the water to reach a simmer.

Meanwhile, Erk and Rebecca turned the entire school upside down to find three towels and a few washcloths.

Soon, Eliwood was completely naked, with a towel covering his private part. Lugia and Nino carried in a big pot of simmering water and Serra and Priscilla got to work.

"Okay…" Serra said. "Lugia, Nino, keep heating more water. The rest of you, I need you guys to wet a towel with the hot water and towel him down. Got it?"

Lugia and Nino ran back to the cafeteria while everyone else took a warm towel and began toweling Eliwood down.

Priscilla and Serra stood back, holding recover staves.

"Ready?" Serra asked.

"Yep…" Priscilla said.

The two girls closed their eyes and held up their recover staves. A blue healing energy surrounded Eliwood as the towelers continued to warm up his body. Everyone worked hard and prayed for Eliwood's recovery.

At the temple, Kiyoko found herself in the same position Charlie was once in. The audience had gotten much quieter, since now Matthew's side seemed to be winning. Brian however was sitting there fuming, which was really scaring the Mage Triplets.

"Louisa…" Max said clinging to her arm. "Brian is starting to scare me."

Louisa smacked him. "Get a hold of yourself…" She said. "He won't hurt you."

"He already hurt Salrin." Max said.

Louisa glanced over at Salrin. He had a nice bump on his head.

"Well, his fault for making those comments." Louisa said. "Now sit down."

Jessica was pacing once again. "Ms. Lee." She said. "Now, is it true that you hang out at Charlie's inn a lot?"

"Of course." Kiyoko said. "Everyone does."

"Now then…" Jessica said. "Is it true that you do your homework at the bar in the inn?"

"Yes…" Kiyoko said. "It is a good place to do homework."

"And…while doing homework, have you had any…drinks?" Jessica asked.

Kiyoko gulped. "Err…yes."

"Alcoholic?" Jessica asked.

"Umm… Ilian Rum…I don't think that counts…" Kiyoko asked.

"It's still rum." Jessica said.

"But it's weak!" Kiyoko said. "There's like no alcohol in it."

"But it's still classified as a rum." Jessica said. "And you drank it underage. Now, tell me, is that right?"

"No…" Kiyoko said.

"And you didn't arrest yourself."

"No…"

"And you arrested Matthew for something he didn't do." Jessica said.

"He did do it." Kiyoko said.

"Lies." Jessica said. She turned to the jury. "It seems that the prosecutors are all… hypocrites. As such, I believe that their word would be…quite inadequate, don't you? I leave it up to you ladies and gentlemen of the jury to decide that. But remember, let god guide your actions. No more questions your honor."

Lee nodded towards Charlie. "Questions prosecution?"

"No questions." Charlie said.

Kiyoko sighed and went back to her seat. She glanced at Charlie.

"You're right…they're dead later…" She mumbled.

"Okay…" Lee said. "We're out of witnesses… court will recess for five minutes before we have our closing statements. I ask that everyone stay inside so we can get started. Fell free to stretch your legs.

As everyone began to get up and stretch, Matthew and Jessica sat there calmly.

"I think we've got them…" Jessica said. "You're going to be a free man."

"Thanks Jess…" Matthew said. "By the way…how did you get all that information?"

"Oh…" Jessica said. "I have my sources." She looked across the courtyard and winked at someone. As Matthew traced her line of sight and found out whom she was signaling to, he quickly blushed and turned around.

"Nice…" He said.

"Thank you." Jessica replied.

Back at the school, Priscilla and Serra tossed away their spent recover staves. They walked up to Eliwood and took his pulse again. The people toweling the fainted lord down were taking a break and Lugia and Nino were lounging around while waiting for the water to warm.

"No good…" Priscilla mumbled, her hand on Eliwood's wrist. "He's a bit stronger, but not much."

"At least he's stable now." Serra said. "But the stove here is too slow… we need to get him to the inn or restaurant. They have a stronger stove."

"How?" Kent asked.

"…I don't know…" Serra said.

It was the first time in her life when she was uncertain of herself. It was also the first time in her life as a healer where she was facing a man who was this close to death.

Priscilla finished covering Eliwood's body with newly soaked towels and went over to sit with Lugia and Nino.

"All I know is…" Priscilla said. "We need to raise his body temperature faster… or else…he won't make it through the night."

"The boiler here is helping a bit…" Erk said. "But this is as high as it goes. The school was never meant for lengthy habitation. Especially not for someone who's nearly dying."

"The coat closet is empty." Rebecca said so we'll have to wait until Eliwood's clothes dry. That could take a while even with the boiler on high considering how much snow and water they've picked up."

"The stove is starting to be over taxed too." Lugia said. "A few more pots and it'll burn out."

Nino looked at Serra. "What are we going to do?"

Serra looked at Eliwood's body. Every breath he took was painful for him.

"I…" Serra stuttered. She put her face in her hands. "I just don't know…" She began to sob lightly. Kent saw her tears and went over to hug her lightly.

"It'll be all right…" Kent said.

Serra said nothing but welcomed Kent's warm hug.

"I hope your right…" Priscilla said. She looked at Eliwood. "If he died… then I'm not sure if we'll be able to defeat Nergal."

* * *

Charlie: Gasp! Will Eliwood be all right! 

Erk: I dunno, you're the author.

Charlie: Eh shut up. Anyways, this was a more serious chapter. Sorry about the cliffhanger, the delay and (yes…again) the lack of a reviewer corner. It's been a really tough week for me and I'm just…really REALLY tired. Anyways, I'll try to update as soon as I can. If you have any questions about anything, just IM me. My SN is in my profile…but please, tell me who you are first okay? Well, see you guys later! Love ya all.

Erk: Oh yeah… your rant?

Charlie: I'm too tired. But whoever this "?" guy is, if you have something to say to me, say it to me without hiding like a pansy. I'm sorry, but I cannot respect you when you pull a stunt like that. Be glad I'm not doing to you what I did to X way back when. If you have something to say, say it to my face, otherwise, keep your dirty comments to yourself.

Erk: You're going soft.

Charlie: -Takes out chainsaw-

Erk: Shutting up now.


	20. Trial of Fate V: Deliberations

Charlie: Heya one and all. Anyways, this is the penultimate chapter of the Trial of Fate series. Yes, such a tragedy, but then the fic must move on eh? Okay…before I get another e-mail/IM/review/whatnot about Grim Reaper apps. Yes, I have all the apps, and no I haven't decided yet. I'm not gonna decide until I write it so I suggest those of you who applied to just sit back and relax okay? Don't worry about it and just enjoy the story for now.

Okay, second announcement. I am please to say that I'll be running a **Silent Springs Popularity Contest** for about the next four or five chapters. Just leave a review, e-mail me, IM me, hunt me down and yell it to my face whatever, three original characters who you like the best in order from favorite, to second favorite, to third favorite. Yes, you can vote for yourself, but please don't anonymously review a chapter fifteen times to do so.

Anyways, you should know your favorite characters by now… but if you feel the need to look, I have a list in my profile, it's missing a few characters, but yeah, they're mostly there.

Oh and it's OCs only. I've gotten enough flames to know that Matthew seems to be very popular.

Well, anyways, on with the fic. And if you're wondering where Erk is…he's err…indisposed.

* * *

**Trial of Fate V**

Deliberations Smliberations

The five-minute recess ended faster than Charlie had expected and before he knew it, the entire court was once again in session. There wasn't much to do anyways. Lee recapped the evidence for the jury and then it was time for closing statements.

Once again, He and Kiyoko got up, rather nerviously, as if expecting Lee… or Aeros… or Sharn to say something weird. After seeing that the three judges weren't going to ask them to river dance, the two prosecutors took their stand and began their closing statements.

Alan listened as his two best friends droned on and on about 'honesty' and 'robbed of chasity' and other mumbo jumbo that his mind, already drained of energy from sitting in an uncomfortable chair for too long, didn't put together. He didn't really care anyways. He knew that the ACTUAL jury deliberation was going to take about three minutes and then the rest of the time, spent to fool people into thinking the jury was actually considering the case, would be used as party time. At this time, his mind was pleasantly diverted to an enchanting vision that had just walked silently into the courtroom.

Alan found himself tongue tied after as he watched the beautiful girl, who by the way had the most panicked face anybody could see, yet Alan was too busy ogling her to notice that she was in distress.

In the back, Lugia looked around desperately for anybody she recognized. Across in the school, Eliwood had finally gone into a state that Serra and Priscilla had labeled as "critical." Not being the medical type of person, Lugia had no idea what it really meant, but she knew it wasn't good. Faced with no options, the finally sent someone over to find anybody from the trial to help.

Unfortunately, Lugia only knew five people in the entire town, Charlie and Kiyoko, who were both quite angry with her, Sonia and Lulu, who were playing bailiff, and Fae, who was sitting in the jury. So she sat patiently, waiting for the trial to be over. She assumed since the prosecutors and defense attorney were making closing statements, the trial would be soon over, so with a extremely heavy heart, she sat through Jessica's blabble about "hypocrites" and "innocence."

Finally, the defense attorney sat down and Lugia held her breath. She looked up at the three important looking men in the funky white wigs sitting at the big podium like table at the front.

Lee nodded towards the jury. "You have heard the evidence, please go into the next room to deliberate."

One by one the jury filed out of the room. Once the last one of them left, the atmosphere in the room turned tense. Everyone expected the deliberations to take forever.

Lee looked out into the crowd. "Okay, go stretch your legs. I'll inform everyone when the jury has reached a verdict."

Everyone in the room began to stand up, stretch and fan out amongst themselves. Taking the chance, Lugia rushed up to the first unfamiliar face she recognized.

Charlie saw the thief girl who had robbed his house run up to him half dead and breathing hard. Temporarily forgetting his animosity towards her, he walked up and patted her on the back as she was hunched over, panting.

"Erm…Lugia right? Are you okay?" Charlie asked. He could feel Kiyoko's death glare upon him, but he didn't care, she'll toss him off the cliff sooner or later anyways.

"Man…Eliwood…critical…dead…near…help…need." Lugia said incoherently between pants.

"Uhm…" Charlie said. "Could you run that by me again?" He gave her a few pats on the back. "Come on, nice and easy."

Lugia calmed down considerably. "Eliwood's in the school. We found him near dead and buried in the snow. Serra and Priscilla did all that they could, but right now, he's near death." She blurted out.

"What!" Charlie exclaimed. "Wait…"

Charlie glanced over at Jessica. "One moment."

He walked calmly over.

"Erm, Jessica…can I have a word with you?" Charlie asked.

"Sure…" Jessica said. "What about?"

"Why were you late?" Charlie asked.

"Oh…uhm…I was…uh…disposing of some…uh…trash." Jessica said.

"And would this 'trash' be a person?" Charlie asked.

"That would be none of your business." Jessica sneered.

"I must be mistaken then." Charlie said. Then with a smirk, he added, "Eliwood must've just taken a really bad fall then."

That phrase did the trick. Jessica immediately jumped from her seat. "Whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean?" she asked.

"Oh, Lugia, the new girl, was just here telling me about how Eliwood's in the school and on the verge of death after they found him half buried in the snow."

Jessica shot out of her chair and smacked Charlie over the head. "WHAT! WHY DIDN'T YOU EFFING TELL ME!" She screeched. She ran over to Lugia.

"You, I haven't seen you before, so I'm assuming you're Lugia." She said in a panicked voice. "IS IT TRUE THAT ELIWOOD'S ALMOST DEAD!"

It took her about three seconds to realize that the entire courtroom just turned deathly silent. Every eye was trained on her nearly throttling the poor flustered girl.

Lugia nodded silently, seeing that Jessica was squeezing the breath out of her.

Without warning, Jessica shot out of the courtroom in record time, knocking over Guy and stepping on him in the process.

Charlie whistled as he watched people converge to help Guy. Suddenly, he felt someone tap his shoulders. He turned and saw Kiyoko.

"You think we should go too?" She asked.

Charlie looked at Lugia's flustered face, drawing an angry huff from his "sister." "Yeah…I think we should." He said.

Quickly, Kiyoko and Lugia followed him out of the courtroom towards the school. Behind him, he swore he could hear a few more pairs of feet following them.

By the time the trio burst into the room, they saw that Serra and Priscilla were already busy screaming Jessica into the ground.

"THE HELL DID YOU DO!"

"HE'S GONNA DIE NOW AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!"

"SERIOUSLY! AND WE PUT OUR LIVES ON THE LINE FOR YOU!"

Jessica was growing smaller and smaller by the minute. It was only when I cleared my throat when the two healers noticed our presence. Behind me I hear Hector and Lyn puff their way in.

"He's…going…" Serra said. "There's not much we can do for him."

"Umm, any of you two tried CPR?" Charlie asked.

"CPR…" Priscilla said. "You know… I never thought of it."

"Lets give it a try." Serra said.

"That's a good idea. You go." Priscilla said.

"Uhh…by we, I meant you." Serra said.

Kiyoko sighed and smacked the two healers out of the way. She moved to Eliwood's numb and twitching body and groped around for a pulse.

"I'm losing pulse here, Charlie, go get some hot water." Kiyoko yelled.

"We're out." Nino said.

"Did you check the kitchen?" Charlie asked. "The big one behind the cafeteria?"

"Wait…there's a kitchen?" Nino asked. "We just found a stove."

Charlie sighed. He ran into the cafeteria and kicked down a side door. Rushing in, he threw open a large water boiler and pulled out buckets of warm water.

Nino stared. "…And we nearly killed ourselves cooking up all that water." She said

"Next time, check the doors." Charlie said. He rushed over to Eliwood's limp body. Next to it, Kent was still holding a sobbing Serra while Lyn and Priscilla were clinging onto each other. Even Hector had a small tear at the corner of his eye.

"Scrub him!" Kiyoko ordered as she placed her hands over his chest and began to push firmly.

Charlie frantically began to scrub Eliwood down. Frustrated at the piece of cloth that covered him, he ripped it aside and poured hot water onto Eliwood's now completely naked body.

"DEAR ELIMINE!" Lowen cried covering Nino's eyes. "HAVE SOME DECENCY!"

"That's gross…" Lyn said using Priscilla to block her view.

"Shut up." Charlie said. "Would you rather him dead?"

"Well…no…" Hector said. "But that was still wrong."

"Desperate times calls for desperate measures." Charlie said dumping the last bucket of water onto Eliwood. "Pulse?"

Kiyoko took another pulse. "Still weakening… Shit… what are we gonna do?"

Hector looked nervous. "If somebody suggests mouth to mouth, I'm leaving." He said.

"Try mouth to mouth." Charlie said.

"I'm leaving." Hector said. He was half way out the door when Pent, Louise and Canas rushed in, pushing the poor lord back into the room.

"What's going on!" Canas asked.

"Eliwood." Hector muttered. "He's about to get mouth to mouth."

"Wait…run that by me again." Pent said.

"We found him near dead in the snow." Lowen said. "Apparently, he did something to Jessica and she beat him to within an inch of his life. Now that that inch's about to go, Kiyoko's gonna do mouth to mouth to save him."

"Right…" Louise said. They still looked thoroughly confused until they saw Kiyoko lifting an unconscious Eliwood's chin trying to clear the air passage.

Meanwhile, Louise noticed Jessica's face becoming slightly colored. She looked back and forth between Eliwood and Kiyoko. Realizing the implication, Louise giggled despite herself. Pent looked at his wife as if she was going crazy.

"Erm…hunny…" Pent whispered. "I fail to see what's so humorous about this."

Louise pointed to Jessica. "Look." She muttered. "Somebody's getting jealous."

Pent followed Louise' finger to Jessica, where she was constantly looking between the unconscious Eliwood and the not even flushed Kiyoko. The procedure was almost routine to her. But Pent got what the blush on the tactician's cheeks meant.

Finally, Jessica couldn't take it no more. Losing all self control, as well as her mind, she screamed, causing Kiyoko to snap her head up.

"Err…is something wrong?" Kiyoko asked looking at Jessica. Everyone in the room, save for Pent and Louise were confused beyond their wits.

"Err…" Jessica said realizing what she had just done. "Uhm… how about…I do it?" She asked.

"Uhm… if you want to." Kiyoko said. She stepped aside and let Jessica take over. This time, Hector didn't want to leave anymore.

"I thought you said you were going." Lyn smirked.

"This suddenly got interesting." Hector grinned.

Kiyoko stood back and helped Charlie drag out some old clothes and stuff warm water bottles in them for Eliwood. As she glanced back at Jessica, it was clear she knew what she was doing, her hand was just shaking too much for her to do it. Beside her, she could've sworn she heard Charlie mumble, "That looks more like a kiss to me…"

Kiyoko smirked. For some reason, it did. She went back to stuffing some more hot water bottles into a pair of pants. Looking back, she saw that Jessica was STILL hovering over Eliwood's mouth.

"Oh for crying out loud do it or I'll do it." She yelled.

Jessica snapped out of her trance. Taking a deep breath, she pressed her mouth against Eliwood's numb lips and gave him a couple of breaths. After coming up for air, she repeated the process. One more time and she glanced at Priscilla who had her fingers on Eliwood's wrist.

"Pulse… hmm…well, it stopped fading." She said. "Still weak though."

Charlie and Kiyoko then came over and wrapped Eliwood into his new water bottle filled clothing. Kiyoko gestured to Jessica to continue breathing into him.

The tactician screwed up her face and went down again. Kiyoko smirked as she felt Charlie dig his elbows into her ribs. Kiyoko ignored him as the two massaged Eliwood's legs. For some reason, she swore she saw a tear in the corner of :Louise' eye.

Inside the jury deliberation room, Kate and Alan were already half wasted. They each had an arm around the other's shoulder and were singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" rather loudly. Christina and Lizzie were discussing housekeeping techniques and basically bashing their husbands for being horrible at keeping toilet seats down. Glenn was pretending not to hear Christina insult him for the fifth time. Meanwhile, Aminec and Dias were having an eating contest with Fae working up quite a sweat cooking omelets.

"You're going down boy!" Aminec said triumphantly as she choked down her third omelets. "Make the next one with jalapenos dearie." She said to Fae.

Not one to be beat by a colleague, Dias wolfed down his and demanded habaneras on his.

George and Glenn walked by and looked as the two got their omelets and began eating.

"Three…two…" Glenn counted. "one… one half…"

"HOLY! HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!" Dias screamed rushing towards the punch bowl.

"Liftoff." George said chuckling a bit. "..You know I feel kinda guilty for this."

"Whoa…" Glenn said. "Well… yeah, we're in here partying while half the people out there have near heart attacks. But hey, free booze." He took a swig of cognac and listened to Kate and Alan's really bad singing.

"You sure Charlie made us alcohol antidotes?" George asked.

"They're right over there." Glenn said pointing to ten vials mounted on the wall.

"In that case." George said marching over to the table of drinks. He poured himself a big shot of scotch and raised it at Glenn. "Cheers."

Glenn smiled and raised his bottle of cognac. He turned just in time to see Aminec do a little victory dance. Shaking his head, he went off to find his wife.

Christina smiled when she saw her husband approach her. She went up and wrapped her arms around him.

"Heya…" She cooed. "What's up?"

Glenn smiled and kissed his wife. "You think we've let them sweat enough?"

"Yeah…" Christina said. "But I'm comfy here." She snuggled into his coat.

"Oh come on Christi…" Glenn said.

"Hey…" Christina said. "Blame the alcohol." She pushed her husband back onto a couch and soon had a nice make out session going with him.

Soon, Lizzie came over looking for her friend.

"Christi! CHRISTINA WHERE ARE YOU!" She yelled. Finally, she found the couch where Christina was still wrapped around her husband like a suction cup.

"Erm…." Lizzie said. "I'll leave you two alone." Suddenly, she felt two hands wrap around her. Smiling she turned around to face Erimus.

"I thought I smelled Ilian Rum." She said.

"Hey!" Erimus said. "Just because Kate calls it grape juice, it's still alcohol."

"Whatever." Lizzie said. She hugged him. "Do you think Matthew's sweated enough?"

"I think so." Erimus said. "But lets wait for the teenagers to finish their lip-lock before we do anything okay?"

Lizzie smiled. "Hehe… k… got anything to do while we wait?"

"Well…" Erimus said smiling evilly. Lizzie smacked him playfully before dragging him to another spare couch.

After a long while, Fae finally realized, despite her drunkedness, that four people weren't in the party, or at least listening to Alan and Kate go to the thirty-seventh day of Christmas. Groggily, she walked over to where George and Dias were slumped over each other singing along.

"a..ave 'u 'uys sh-sheen Glwn?" Fae slurred.

George just smirked and pointed to the back. Fae thanked him and stumbled over. Not noticing that Glenn and Christina were thrashing about on the couch, she went over and poked Glenn.

"'ey!" She said.

Glenn reluctantly broke from his wife and looked up at a tipsy Fae, one thing he thought he'd never see.

"'sit time ye'?" Fae asked.

Glenn gasped. He looked at a wall chronometer and realized that they've been in there for over an hour.

He pulled his wife up and went over to kick Erimus off Lizzie.

"Yo, time to go." He said.

"Aww.." Erimus said. "Fine…"

Glenn then slowly supported his wife over to the alcohol antidotes and unmounted them. He passed one to each person, and when they wouldn't take it, he forced the contents in the vial down their throats. Soon, all ten jurors were sober again.

"Erm…I think it's time to go." Glenn said.

"One moment." Kate said. "Glenn, Erimus, fix your hair and wipe the makeup off your face. Lizzie, Christi, fix your clothes."

The four blushed madly as they went about fixing their apparences. Despite the set back, the jurors were finally ready. Glenn went out and informed Sonia. Sonia nodded and handed a note to Lee.

Lee nodded to Sonia and looked up. The audience was mostly there, but both the prosecutors and Jessica were missing.

"…Oh god…" Lee said. He looked at Sharn and Aeros.

"Stay put, I'mma go find them." Lee said.

"Okay…" Sharn said.

With that, Lee took off out the temple, hoping he can find the missing people soon.

Inside the school, Charlie and Kiyoko were struggling to keep from laughing as Jessica went down again on Kiyoko's orders.

Kent noticed the two twitching a bit and wondered if they were tired.

"Want me to finish loosening him up?" Kent asked.

"Huh?" Charlie asked suppressing a chuckle. "Oh, uhm… sure."

Kent took over and Kiyoko and Charlie went into a side room and began snickering.

"That was mean Kiyo." Charlie said between chuckles.

"I know." Kiyoko said brightly.

Suddenly, a voice called from outside.

"He's awake!"

Charlie and Kiyoko snapped their heads up and rushed out. Sure enough, Eliwood was struggling to sit up before Serra and Priscilla stared him back down into a lying position. Jessica looked relieved, yet a bit disappointed.

"You gave us quite a scare there." Charlie said. "Good thing Jessica was here giving you mouth to mouth for an hour straight."

Jessica flushed and put her hands over her face.

"Aww…I thought… you hated me." Eliwood choked.

"I don't hate you you moron." Jessica said. "Just…don't do that to me again."

Hector and Lyn began to snicker. Charlie finally lost it.

"Aww… Jessica and Eliwood sitting in a tree, K, I, S, S, I, N- HEY!" He sang before something lifted him off the ground.

He looked around and saw that Kiyoko had his head and Jessica had his legs. The forcefully dragged him out of the school and headed for the cliff.

"AHH!" Charlie screamed. "HELP!"

Everyone else in the school went outside and watched Kiyoko and Jessica hual the poor man to the side of the cliff. In one mighty heave, Charlie's terrorized scream rang out across the valley as he plummeted five hundred feet.

At this moment, Lee ran up.

"Hey guys, the jury's ready…where's Charlie?" He asked.

Jessica and Kiyoko flushed and stared at each other. "Uhh… about that."

Lee then heard the sickening crunch and Charlie's cry of "I'm okay! …ow.."

"Oh…you have GOT to be kidding me…"

* * *

Charlie: …Don't ask why I'm abusing myself. He's the only character I can do this to without having to ask people for permission. Anyways, don't forget about the popularity contest… I'll probably ask someone to do a print of the top two or three for you guys.

Anyways… again… I'm really tired so… I'm really sorry for the lack of a reviewer corner. I have a midterm coming up and yeah…it's hectic. I swear to high heaven that I will get one for next chapter and make up for the last two chapters.

Oh well, hope you liked that. I love ya all.


	21. Trial of Fate VI: So What is Justice?

Charlie: Okay… gimme a second to tally votes here… and I'll let you know the current standing of the Popularity contest…

Kiyoko 6 votes  
Charlie 6 votes  
Kevin 3 votes  
Samantha 2 votes  
Kitty 2 votes  
Jerry 1 vote  
Lee 1 vote  
Clide 1 vote  
Alan 1 vote

Okay, anyways, time for round two of voting. Yes, you can vote again, same people, different people, I don't care. Vote for whomever you like. There's a list in my profile. I'll have a friend of mine make a colored drawing of the top three at the end of this contest. Yes, it's still open, that was just the standings after the first round of voting.

Okay, anyways, on with the fic. Sorry for the delay, but I was on a DNAngel high, and for those of you who know me personally, that anime has a special place in my life (Yes, I know it's old, but I'm 17, I'm also old).

(And before anyone asks why I had a midterm, I go to UCLA for summer school, so yeah.)

* * *

**Trial of Fate VI**

So What Exactly is Justice?

Lee glared at Kiyoko and Jessica. "Okay… so let me get this straight. Charlie was singing a song…and you two decided to toss him five hundred feet off a cliff."

"Err… something like that." Kiyoko said. "But he was being mean!"

"…And tossing him off a cliff was the Girl Scout thing to do?" Lee asked sarcastically.

"Well… no." Kiyoko said. "But he was being mean!"

Lee sighed. "Okay… you know what, lets just find a way to get him up here fast?"

Just then, everyone who was congregated in the schoolhouse emerged.

"What's up?" Serra asked.

"These ladies decided to toss Charlie off a cliff right when the jury reached a verdict." Lee said.

"They WHAT!" Lyn screeched. "Is he okay!"

"He fell off a cliff." Hector said rolling his eyes. "What do you think?"

"Actually, he's fine." Lee said. "We just need somebody to get him out of there."

Everyone quickly turned and looked at Serra.

"What?" Serra asked, noticing everyone looking at her. Soon it dawned on her. "Oh…HELL no." She screeched. "That warp stave cost me a fortune! I ain't using it!"

"Oh come on Serra." Priscilla said. "The sooner we save Charlie, the sooner Matthew can be free."

"How do you know he even will be freed?" Serra asked. "I'm still not using it."

"Well, you've got two choices." Jessica said. "You use it and get Charlie up here, OR I'll assign you KP for the rest of the journey to Dread Isle after we leave here. Your choice."

"…Argh! Fine!" Serra huffed. "But for the record, I hate you all."

"Duly noted." Jessica said. "Now go."

Sighing, Serra pulled out a warp stave and held it above her. A bright light flashed, causing everyone around her to shy away. Moments later, the light was gone along with Serra.

At the bottom of the cliff, Charlie was busy popping his bones into place when suddenly, a bright ball of light appeared above him.

"HOLY SAINT ELIMIME'S BISHOP STAVE!" Charlie cried as Serra appeared out of nowhere and landed on his already sore bones.

"Opps! Sorry!" Serra said dusting herself off.

"It's okay…" Charlie groaned. "But…would you be so kind…to get off me?"

"Huh?" Serra suddenly noticed that she was sitting on top of the poor broken man. "OH! I'm sorry!"

"It's okay." Charlie said, stretching out after the weight of Serra was lifted. "So, what are you doing here?"

"I'm gonna bring you back to the top." Serra said, holding out her warp stave.

"Oh!" Charlie said. "Okay! Hang on, let me just pop a few bones back into place."

With that, the innkeeper, much to Serra's disgust, began pushing and shoving at various misshapen parts of his joints, moving them back into place with a sickening pop or crack.

"…Are you quite finished?" Serra asked as Charlie popped his knee back into place.

"Be patient." Charlie muttered. "I just fell five hundred feet onto solid bedrock. It wasn't exactly pleasant."

Finally, he twisted his ankle into place and stood up.

"Okay…I'm ready." Charlie said.

"Right…" Serra said. "Uhm…I need you to hold onto me."

"Huh? Oh…okay." Charlie said. He moved over and clung onto Serra's free arm, flushing a little.

Another flash of lights and he suddenly found himself at the top of the cliff, surrounded by people. He quickly let go of Serra and turned around to face Kiyoko.

"You really have to stop doing that." He said smiling.

"But it's fun!" Kiyoko squealed. She laughed and hugged him. "Just don't do anything stupid for a while."

"Deal." Charlie said. "Uhm… so…why did we need me teleported up in such a hurry?"

"Jury's ready." Lee said. "Better get in or else they might get restless."

"Glenn's with them." Charlie said. "He'll keep them in line."

"Oh I don't know about that." Lee said winking at Charlie, who grinned slightly.

Everyone else was confused at the exchange between the judge and the prosecutor, but they let it go. Soon, everyone was back in the temple. There had been some minor tittering when Erk and Rebecca walked in, but for the most part, it was silent. Everyone was tingling with anticipation at the outcome of the trial.

After everyone was seated, Lee turned towards Glenn, who was the spokesperson for the Jury.

"Have you reached a verdict?" Lee asked solemnly.

"We have your honor." Glenn said. "In the case of Silent Springs versus Matthew of Ostia, the jury finds him guilty of all crimes brought against him."

There was a collective gasp among everyone present. Matthew turned white and Jessica paled and clutched her desk.

Suddenly, a high shriek pierced the crowd. Everyone turned and found the source.

Samantha was on her back, twitching. Translucent wings were forming behind her back as she writhed.

'No… don't do it Stewie.' Samantha said.

'Gee, you really think I WANT to save your boyfriend? Sucks that I'm you and you're me so your emotions are forcing me to act. Besides, don't you want to see Matthew free so he can knock you up and have your kids?'

'That's a really crude way of saying it Stewie.' Samantha retorted. 'But I don't want you to hurt the others.'

'Too late for that love.' Stewie said. 'Now stop resisting.'

'NO!' Samantha said stubbornly.

'Oh well…' Stewie said. 'This is gonna hurt then.'

Samantha gave a horrible screech of cry. Lyn, who was holding her was doing her best to try to calm her down.

"SOMEBODY GET A HEAL STAVE!" Lyn cried.

Brian quickly ran over with a ornate stave. "She's being possessed. I need to expel the demon."

He held up his stave, and was promptly blasted into the ceiling. Hector jumped up to catch the falling priest before he hit the ground.

"Somebody help her!" Lyn said as Samantha's wings turned red. Moments later, Samantha stopped thrashing. She stood up and opened her eyes, turned from their normal brown to a deep red.

"HOLY CRAP SHE'S POSSESSED!" Lee yelled.

Without speaking, Stewie flew to the front of the courtyard and slammed a cube onto a table. The cube began to project images into the wall.

"Crap! She's using it! FINAL FANTASY AND THE SPIRITS WITHIN!" Lee yelled. "SOMEBODY STOP HER!"

Lulu immediately jumped Samantha and tried to pull her back. From the audience, Serra, Priscilla and Brian all held up Holy Emblems of St. Elimine, weakening Stewie's power enough for Lulu to be able to handle him.

Unfortunately, the cube was still running.

"GET RID OF IT SONIA!" Charlie yelled.

Sonia ran up to the cube and began fiddling with it.

"STOP PLAYING WITH IT AND TURN IT OFF!" Matthew yelled.

"I'M TRYING!" Sonia said.

"What's going on!" Wil yelled.

"It's the ultimate evil." Lucius said. "That cube will project the most horrible of images onto the wall until we all collapse."

"SMASH!" Bartre yelled.

"LISTEN TO BARTRE!" Sain yelled at Sonia. "JUST SMASH IT! HURRY! THE OPENING CREDITS ARE ALMOST OVER!"

Sonia quickly picked up her thick Bible and raised it over her head.

"SMASH IT!" Came the panicked cry from the masses.

With one almighty swing, Sonia brought the book down onto the cube, crushing it into bits. The images began to fade.

"Oh thank the lord." Kiyoko breathed, coming up from under the table.

"She's coming back." Lulu said. Samantha had gone limp, but her demonic wings and eyes were gone.

"Is it over?" Wil asked.

"Yes…it is." Farina said. "Now kindly stop touching me."

"ACK!" Wil said jumping. "Sorry."

"Whatever." Farina said. "That girl is crazy."

"Or the demon possessing her is crazy." Lucius said. "I've never seen anything that strong."

"He's been with her since he was a baby demon." Brian said. "But after a while, it seems like he wants to protect her instead of use her."

"Eh, even demons have feelings sometimes." Lucius said. "Perhaps this incident was used to protect her as well?"

"Who knows." Brian said.

Just then, Lee cleared his throat.

"The court finds Samantha guilty of contempt of court. She shall be locked away until further noticed. Court adjourned.

With that, the three judges quickly ran out of the courtroom before the shock could wear off.

"…Whoa…what just happened?" Charlie asked.

"Uhm… it sounds like Sammy just got thrown into the cling and Matthew's free." Kiyoko said.

Charlie glanced at Matthew who had a look on his face somewhere between, shock, anger and relief.

"Well, this is an interesting development." Charlie said. "So now what."

They watched as Sonia and Lulu carried the still unconscious Samantha off while everyone else went up to congratulate Matthew. Most of the members of Eliwood's army didn't know Samantha that well.

"I think Lee, Aeros and Sharn have some explaining to do." Charlie said.

"Don't they leave town like… in an hour?" Kiyoko asked. "So can't we just break Sammy out after they leave."

"We could." Charlie said. "Oh well, we'll leave them be for now. But I think Brian's in shock. So's the jury."

"Yeah." Kiyoko said. "I think your bar's gonna have costumers today."

"I think so too." Charlie said. "Come on, lets get back. I need a stiff drink too."

"Aren't you underage?" Kiyoko asked.

"Screw the law." Charlie said. And he walked out.

Kiyoko watched Charlie walk out. She'd never seen him like this before. Sighing, she went over to Alan and Kate.

"Okay, what happened?" Alan asked.

"Apparently, Sammy never got the message, so she had Stewie take over to cause some trouble to save Matthew." Kiyoko said. "Or that's my guess."

"Well, Glenn's going nuts over the ruling. Erimus, Lizzie and Christi are trying to calm him down. Sammy was his best student." Kate said.

"Yeah… I'm sure Sonia and Lulu are having a hard time doing this." Kiyoko said. "But at least Matthew's free. Even though he's probably not happy."

They looked over at Matthew who was swarmed by his friends.

"Congrats man." Hector said patting him on the back.

"You won!" Serra screeched.

"Good job Jessica!" Lyn said.

Matthew just stood there, stony faced and took the cheering with little fuss. Jessica though, knew what he was thinking. Slowly, she pushed the thong of people away from Matthew.

"Excuse me, I need to talk to him." Jessica said. "Courts over, you guys can go have fun now."

Everyone nodded and began to slowly file out of the temple until Matthew and Jessica were the only foreigners left.

"So… what now?" Matthew asked.

"We go have a drink." Jessica said. "Come."

Then they too filed out of the court.

As Matthew and Jessica left, Brian, who had fainted after the verdict was read, was being carried out by Fae, Aminec and Fureal. Everyone was still standing around talking about the unexpected turn of events. But soon, the topic began to get slow and people slowly filed out of the building.

As Salrin, Max and Louisa left the temple, Salrin turned to his friends.

"Where to now? We've got some time to kill before dinner." He said.

"How about… the inn?" Louisa said. "I could use some juice."

"You're underage." Max said.

"I meant juice, not booze." Louisa said.

"Oh… right." Max said blushing. Around them, they noticed that a lot of people were headed towards the inn.

"Charlie's gonna have some good business." Salrin noted.

"Yep." Louisa said. She sighed and brushed a strand of hair from her face, ignoring the dumbstruck look on Max' face.

They walked in silence for a while. Finally, Max found his voice.

"Erm…Louisa?" He asked shyly.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Well…it may not be a good time…" He mumbled. "But…will you go to the Winter Ball with me?"

Salrin turned to look at his friends with a quirked eyebrow. He always thought there was SOMETHING between the two.

"Oh…" Louisa said. She looked shocked. "I…I…"

Max's face fell. "If you don't want to…I understand…"

Louisa immediately grabbed Max's shoulder and shook him. "You silly." She smiled. "I've been waiting for you to ask."

Max looked up, bewildered. "Really?"

"Of course silly." Louisa said.

"So…is that a yes?" Max asked.

"Well…" Louisa said. Then she leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "That answers your question?"

Max smiled. "Yes it does."

The two then came together for a more intimate kiss.

Salrin stood there smacking his forehead. He noticed that Kiyoko, Kate, Alan, and a girl that he's never seen before were all smirking at the kissing couple.

"…Get a room you two." Salrin said.

Louisa and Max, lost in their own little world, ignored him. Salrin finally gave up and ran to catch up with Alan's group.

"Heya." Kiyoko said. "Come on, lets go get a drink."

"Sure." Salrin said. As they walked, he found himself sneaking peeks at the new girl, who was walking and chatting with Kate.

Meanwhile, Sonia and Lulu were still carrying an unconscious Samantha when they arrived at the Library. At the Library, Kevin stood there with his IV stand, looking confused.

"Err…did something happen?" He asked when he saw the two carrying Samantha.

"Something weird…" Sonia said. "Somehow, Sammy got convicted."

"Okay…" Kevin said. "I'm not even gonna ask."

"Anyways, just keep her here for tonight." Sonia said. "We'll come for her tomorrow."

"Not following through eh?" Kevin asked.

"Judges leave tomorrow." Sonia said. "So it's kinda pointless. Everyone loves Sammy anyways."

"Okay." Kevin said taking Samantha from Sonia and Lulu. "Well, I guess I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Yep." Lulu said. "Later Kev."

With that, the two bailiffs turned and left. Kevin looked down at Samantha.

"Heh… don't worry." He whispered. "You'll be with him soon…"

He turned and walked into the library.

At the inn, Charlie finished delivering his last batch of drinks when his friends came in.

"Hey Charlie." Kiyoko said. "Give us all a round of Mai Tais."

"I'm too tired to argue." Charlie said. He mixed five drinks and handed it to Kiyoko who passed it around. Lugia, who wasn't used to drinking, sat there playing with her drink. Only after Kiyoko downed hers and smiled at Lugia did she get the courage to take a sip.

Charlie watched Kiyoko and Lugia get friendly. He smiled. He knew about Alan throwing Lugia interesting looks, and knew that if Lugia and Kiyoko didn't get friendly, bad things were going to happen.

Suddenly, someone cleared her throat, cutting into his thoughts. Charlie looked up to see Jessica and Matthew sitting in front of him.

"Two stiff hard drinks." Jessica said. "Make them as strong as you can."

Charlie looked at them and nodded. He reached under his counter and pulled out a tiny vial of a glowing substance. He pulled the stopper out and poured two drops into two shot glasses. Then filling the glasses with orange juice, he passed it to Jessica and Matthew.

"Charlie's Secret Silent Springs Death Potion." He said. "Careful though, diluted that's around 150 alcohol by volume."

"Thanks." Jessica said. "Cheers Matt."

Matthew grabbed his drink halfheartedly and downed it.

"Tough day?" Charlie asked cleaning out some glasses.

"You think?" Matthew said. "Now Samantha's in jail and it's my fault."

"It's not your fault." Charlie said. "The judges ditched town an hour ago. They were being dumb. Tomorrow, after Sammy's healed, we can get her out of jail for you."

"Wait…weren't you a prosecutor?" Matthew asked as Charlie handed him another drink.

"It was rigged." Charlie said. "You were gonna go to jail until Brian cools down. Oh well, that didn't go well."

"No shit Sherlock." Jessica muttered. "Well, guess we just have to wait now."

"Yep." Charlie said. He poured them another drink. "I have to admit though…Matt and Sammy make a cute couple."

"They do." Jessica said.

Matthew just blushed.

* * *

Charlie: …Okay…who expected that? Sammy gets put into Jail (I'M SORRY!) Anyways, more stuff will happen…not gonna give anything away. I hope you guys liked that! Sorry for getting sidetracked again. Anyways, Popularity contest is still going! Keep voting.

**Reviewer Corner n.n:**

Lao Who Mai: Heh, thanks. Got your votes!

Black Hole CO: Heh, it's okay. I slack off reviews too. I'm glad you like this. Your little convos crack me up!

Wyvernknight: Heh, I try to post at least one or two chapters each week.

Samantha: Hehe, a second Kiyo… I'mma gonna die. Thanks for finishing the song for me! n.n

Sam: Thanks. Yes, I meant to make them young, and yeah, I've noticed there's a Sonia in there. But then, my cousin's name is Sonia so… yeah…

Cool kid falcon: Heh, falling off a cliff isn't fun. I'm glad to see you finally got your fics up!

LaFia: Heh, yep! She's jealous. Quite lovely indeed. (And very cute.)

TheWatcherandReader: Heh, that's tiring. Summer school is indeed a pain. Got your votes!

Kiyoko-Chan: Hehe, yes, you throw me off a cliff. I need to bring in the cookbook sometime. Oh well, got your votes. And yep! Jessica and Eliwood.

Inferno-Hero: Well, I got your character together with Louisa (I'm gonna burn for this). Heh…got your rather arbitrary vote.

Jerry: UCLA summer classes. Eh, summer school's summer school. About your pranks, some of them are gonna be toned down, but they're still funny. Oh and about your vote… uhm… you're not in this fic yet…so yeah… you have one vote…but nobody else knows your character. Don't worry about it though, I'll have more contests later.

Draknal: Heh, Charlie's just used to it, so he survives those falls. And yes, your character and his lovely wife did get to do something. (Heh Heh)

MisSkLutzZz: Heh, hope you actually get that phone. It looks pretty from what I've seen.

ToSFan9: Heh, yes, cliff. It's just a fun thing to do.

Lilylisa31: Heh, thanks. The tactician/Eliwood pairing was a spur of the moment thing, but it's gonna be fun to do.

RWT: Yep! I'm indestructable! (Like Keitaro Urashima, only I don't have six girls fawning over me). It's fun though.

z-animatr: Heh, thanks!

Sacred Blade: Back breaking falls are my specialties. Not particularily painless though. Heh.

Northernsword: The trial's finally over. Outcome's kinda… demented though. Hehe, only in Silent Springs. Thanks for the votes.

Nightmare3: RvB is awesome! As for getting thrown off, I can get back soon. As for you and Fiora… -locks the two into a bed room after knocking Fiora up with Viagra- Have fun. -wink wink-

All who reviewed chapter 19 and 18: Thanks for all your support and suggestions! They mean a lot to me. Sorry for being the lazy bum and not giving you guys individual responses!

Charlie: …wow…that took quite a while. I love all you guys! I hope you'll continue to read and support me until the end of this (very long) fic.


	22. The Curse of Silent Springs

Charlie: Blarg, 'lo y'all. Okay, I'm too lazy to sift through my notes right now, so I won't give you a standing just yet on the popularity contest. I'm keeping notes though so don't worry. Remember keep voting. (And take pity on me and write the names down instead of "Same vote as last time." It makes my job a whole lot easier.)

Anyways, I'll be introducing a few aspects into the fic and some history stuff. It'll seem fillerish now, but you'll see why I did it soon.

As usual, I don't own Fire Emblem. For those of you who think I do, don't sue me, you'll pay your lawyer more than what you'll get from me.

P.S. You guys like the ominous title?

* * *

The Curse of Silent Springs

Charlie looked up from the sink to see quite the interesting sight. Everyone who had gathered in the inn was out cold from drinking save for four people who were still up and talking in a corner. Charlie looked over and saw Pent and Louise chatting merrily with Dorcas and Canas as if everything was just dandy when there was a unrecognizable lump of a human just three inches away from Louise's leg.

Sighing, the innkeeper put down the dusty glass that he was dusting and approached the group, careful to step around lumps of sleeping people.

"Hello." He said cheerfully as he approached the gossiping group.

"Eh!" Pent called out. "Charlie! How's it going?"

"As good as it can go…with people slumped over drooling on my lobby." Charlie replied.

"Heh, I take it you want us to help you clear some people upstairs?" Canas asked.

"Please and thank you."

"No problem." Pent said getting up and stretching. "We'll get these people up in a jiffy."

"Good." Charlie nodded. "Oh and don't touch Jessica and Matthew yet. I need to give them some antidote."

"Antidote?" Canas said perplexed. "What the hell did you feed them?"

"A little creation of my own that I like to call 'The Silent Springs Death Potion.'" Charlie boasted.

"Sounds deadly." Dorcas whistled.

"Five hundred and thirty two percent alcohol by volume." Charlie stated plainly.

Everyone else blanched at the overly large figure and decided not to ask. Instead, they began sifting through the piles and sorting people into pairs by whom they bunk with.

Meanwhile, Charlie went over to a ring of couches where all the Silent Springs people were, for lack of a better world, lumped. He let his eyes drift over the group and decided that for better or worse, they weren't as lumpy as some of the other drunkards he had seen.

Kiyoko and Kate were both heaped together on a couch with Alan on the ground leaning against their couch. Dias and Sonia were cuddled on the ground not far from Alan. Fae and Lulu were leaning against each other snoring none to softly while Lugia was sprawled on the ground with her head in Lulu's lap.

To the left of that drunk trio was another couch where, to Charlie's amusement, Fureal and Aminec were curled up together. As he went around putting blankets over each of his respective friends, he couldn't help but smile as he tucked the couple in.

After making sure all his friends weren't going to freeze overnight, Charlie went back to the counter where both Jessica and Matthew were passed out amidst a mountain of shot glasses. He went back behind the counter again and pulled out the bottle of "Death Potion." To his surprise, the entire vial was empty. Charlie looked up at Jessica and Matthew again, wondering how they managed to survive.

Fearing for his sanity, Charlie decided not to ask. He reached deep under his counter and pulled out another vial filled with a shimmering blue liquid. In one sweep of his arm, he cleared the spent shot glasses into the sink and filled two glasses with water. Then pulling the stopper on his vial, Charlie let three drops fall into each glass. The drops glowed in the water before dissipating without a trace.

Sighing, Charlie propped Jessica and Matthew's heads enough so that their mouths hung open enough for him to stuff the clear liquid into their mouths and down their throats. Moments later, Charlie was tackling the mountainous task of cleaning and disinfecting shot glasses when Jessica and Matthew began to stir.

"You're up." Charlie noted calmly as he continue to wash the mountain of cups in his sinks.

"I feel like somebody clubbed me over the head." Matthew groaned.

"Not surprising." Charlie said. "The both of you have enough alcohol in your blood to kill the entire populace of a small town."

"Seriously?" Jessica asked while grasping her aching head. "Then why aren't we dead?"

"There are a few things about this town you never ask about." Charlie said calmly wiping a glass clean. "The reason why you're not dead after something happens is one of them."

"Ahh!" Jessica said and she quickly quieted down. After a while, Charlie glanced at them.

"You two should really go to sleep." Charlie finally said after a long awkward silence. "Unless you want to kill yourselves some more with alcohol."

Jessica and Matthew snapped from their little reverie and nodded at Charlie's words. Then with a mumbled goodnight to the innkeeper, they shuffled up to their respective rooms. After they left, Charlie glanced over at where the group of four sober people was hauling drunken lumps up the stairs. They had made nice progress, and only a few lumps were left on the ground.

At this point, Charlie decided it was time to brew some more Death Potion. It was a complicated process that required much knowledge of Chemistry, Dark Magic, and Astronomy. Sighing, Charlie ducked behind his counter and began gathering the necessary items to begin the brewing process.

Meanwhile, Louise and Pent finally lugged Hawkeye into his room where Nils was already sprawled on the bed. Not wanting to hurt the little guy, the couple decided to let Hawkeye sleep on the ground. After putting the big berserker down, Pent rummaged in the closet for a spare blanket and covered the big guy with it. Then quietly, he and Louise snuck out of the room.

On their way out, they met up with Canas and Dorcas who were checking all the rooms.

"So, what's the situation?" Pent asked.

"Well…" Canas said. "Erk and Rebecca are nicely snuggled together."

"Aww!" Cooed Louise. "They're so cute together."

"Right." Dorcas continued. "Karla and Raven are both asleep on the same bed. I could've sworn I saw Karla warm up to Raven a bit."

"Hmm…" Pent thought out loud. "Maybe they could be our next targets."

"No change with Priscilla and Karel. Apparentely, Priscilla gave him a sharp kick to the tender spot this morning." Canas said wincing. "They're both in bed, but back to back. Priscilla seems to have a slight scowl. Not something I expected to see."

"Right, moving on, Wil and Farina are hopeless causes, neither seems to want to sleep straight, still, or even with covers." Dorcas sighed.

"Next is Serra and Kent. Strangely enough, Serra seems comfortable in Kent's arms." Canas said quirking an eyebrow. "Looks like we have another potential victim."

"Right." Dorcas smirked. "Fiora and Dart are well, just sleeping. Dart's just out…cold. Matthew just came in looking weary. He grabbed a blanket and slept on the floor. Jaffar is snoring quite loudly on his bed."

"Never thought he'd snore." Louise murmured.

"Neither did we." Canas agreed. "Next room's a shocker. Sain's laying there sleeping, and Florina's arms are wrapped around him."

"Aww…" Pent smiled, then he realized something. "Wait…did you say FLORINA'S arms were wrapped around SAIN?"

"Yeah." Canas said. "It was weird."

"Tell me about it." Pent puzzled. "Maybe she's over her fear."

"Maybe." Dorcas said. "Moving on, Heath and Lyn are quite warmly snuggled together. While Hector and Vaida have their backs towards each other and were fighting for the blanket before Canas gave them a spare."

"Geitz and Isadora were both mumbling something about a Wilson in their dreams." Canas said amusedly. "Geitz's bird is quite comfortable after ripping apart Dorcas' scarf and using the shreds for its nest."

"I'll get that bird someday." Dorcas muttered. "Anyways, Lucius is sleeping quite soundly while Bartre…being Bartre, is on the ground snoring."

"Marcus and Merlinus are out of their drags, but are having screaming, thrashing nightmares." Canas shivered. "As if their outfits didn't inspire enough nightmares."

"Nino's kinda strangling Lowen with a back breaking hug while saying something about her brother. Lowen, well, he's struggling for breath." Dorcas said. "I had to pry Nino off him."

"Oswin and Rath are just sleeping." Canas noted. "Both bored out of their wits I guess. Guy and Ninian are snuggled together. Another target perhaps?"

"Perhaps." Pent mused. "And we just brought Hawkeye up. As for Eliwood and Legault, I dare say they're too drunk so they're both just snoring on their bed. Jessica came up a moment ago… so I guess that's everyone."

"Well, good night you two." Canas yawned. "It's time for us to hit the sack as well."

"Later." Pent said before wrapping an arm around Louise and guiding her into his room. Canas and Dorcas smirked as they saw Louise smack Pent upside the head after he leaned over and whispered something into her ear. Then they both turned and went into their room, glad that they have two beds in there.

Downstairs, Charlie, clad in a brown shaman robe with cryptic golden symbols around the fringes, cleared a little spot away from where his drunken friends were snoozing away. He built a small fire and hung a pot over it. Into the pot, he dumped three different liquors, two potions, thirty-three spices, and seventeen ounces of sugar. Once the ingredients were mixed, Charlie took out a long ornate staff and held it over the pot. Glancing outside, he waited for the moon to move into position.

'Anytime now…' He thought as the boiling pot began to shimmer and glow.

Back upstairs, Matthew was twisting and turning under his sheets. For reasons beyond his control, he just can't sleep knowing that Samantha's behind bars. Finally, he sat up, giving up all hope of getting any sleep for the night. He stood up and stretched, looking out the window at the full moon. The skies were oddly clear, meaning that there wasn't going to be a snowstorm over night. Sighing, Matthew wrapped a scarf around himself and decided to go out for a walk.

On his way to the stairs, he heard another pair of footsteps behind him. Letting curiosity get the best of him, he turned around and found himself face to face with Jessica.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Matthew asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah…" Jessica nodded. "I think that antidote cures drowsiness as well."

"Care to take a walk?" Matthew asked.

Jessica just shrugged. "Sure."

The two calmly made their way down to the lobby. In they lobby, they saw a strange sight. Charlie was standing over a brewing pot in a brown robe. He held a glowing staff in his hand that was positioned over the pot of liquid that was shimmering. From the window, a beam of light Matthew guessed was from the moon shined directly into the pot. While this was happening, Charlie was chanting something in an obscure language.

Jessica and Matthew watched this for a while. After Charlie had finished chanting, a beam of light emitted from the pot. The man withdrew his staff and reached into the folds of his robe and produced a small drawstring pouch. Charlie held the pouch over the pot and took a deep breath before reaching in. The pouch was full of a greenish powder. Charlie took a handful and tossed it into the pot. A greenish smoke rose from the pot and dissipated almost instantly.

Matthew took a look into the pot again. It looked exactly like the "Death Potion" Charlie had given him and Jessica earlier that night. When he looked back at Charlie, he was taking off his outer robe, revealing his normal clothes inside. A blackish aura that Matthew just noticed began to fade around him and the innkeeper bent over the pot ladling the liquid into small vials.

At this point, Jessica and Matthew finally found their legs. They walked over, trying not to attract attention.

"I really don't care if you saw me you know…" Charlie muttered from his spot, making the two jump. "It's not like I'm performing some deep dark magic to take over the world, I'm just making a drink."

"Oh…" Matthew said. "Hehe… but it was kinda creepy."

"I know." Charlie said. "It's named the 'Silent Springs Death Potion' for a reason."

He continued to fill vials. "So, couldn't sleep?"

Jessica and Matthew nodded.

"Ahh, well, it's a clear day outside." Charlie said. "Go take a walk. Maybe you'll get tired then."

"That's what we were doing." Matthew said.

Charlie nodded and continued ladling. Matthew and Jessica took their chance and walked out into the crisp snow. Having nowhere to go, the pair decided to just lounge around in the town square. There was an awkward silence between the two of them as they walked.

Finally, Jessica couldn't take much more of it. She scooped up some snow and flung it at Matthew's head. The tactician smiled in delight when her icy projectile hit it's mark.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Matthew roared holding his head.

"To get you to stop moping." Jessica said simply. She picked up some more snow and smacked Matthew again in the face. "You're pissing me off. Be glad you're not hanging on the gallows."

"Gee, thanks." Matthew muttered.

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, I know you, you're bitter about your girlfriend. You're ALWAYS bitter about girls. Hell, that's the only thing you're ever bitter about. You were bitter at Jaffar about Leila, you were bitter at Hector about Serra, and now you're bitter at the world about Samantha."

"I am NOT bitter." Matthew said through clenched teeth. "I'm just a bit pissed off."

"A bit?" Jessica laughed. "You obviously didn't see the look on her face when Lee threw the book at her."

"Oh shut up." Matthew muttered. He sighed, then suddenly, he started heading towards the mountains. "I'm gonna go see her."

"Wait…now?" Jessica asked running to catch up.

"Yeah, now." Matthew said. "It's not that late."

"Tell that to the moon." Jessica groaned. But she fell in step with Matthew anyways. It's not like there was anything else they could do.

At the library, two clouds were acting odd. Clide and Clive floated around the library, as if impatiently waiting for something. They muttered various cryptic phrases in an ancient language.

Finally, the two clouds stopped pacing. They moved to the front of the library where they saw two figures approaching.

"Ready bro?" Clide asked smirking.

"I've been waiting five hundred years for this." Clive smirked back. "Ain't gonna miss it for the world."

Taking a deep breath, the cloud twins began glowing a bright yellow. Lightning crackled around them as the twins muttered an ancient chant. Then, suddenly, a bright flash illuminated the sky, and then the clouds were gone. In their place, two men, identical in facial features, clad in ancient shaman robes, floated to the ground.

Jessica and Matthew, who had watched the entire scene unfold before their eyes, were transfixed on the spot at which they stood, unable to move partially due to awe and partially due to fear.

"What?" Clide asked innocently. "Haven't you ever seen a magical cloud transform before?"

"Uhm…no." Jessica said shakily.

"AH! My lady!" Clive said in mock pain. "You wound me."

Matthew chuckled and smacked his forehead. "Still the jokers on the inside eh?"

"The two and only." Clide smiled. "So, what brings you to this neck of the mountains?"

"Well…" Matthew began.

"Not you lover boy." Clive said. "We know why YOU'RE here, we're talking to her."

"I couldn't sleep." Jessica said. "So I decided to keep him company."

Clide smirked at Matthew. "Shacking up with two girls eh? You've got some big balls there boy."

Matthew growled and made a rude gesture towards the twins.

"Hey hey hey! Watch that thing." Clive laughed pointing to Matthew's fingers. "Don't insult the library."

"How can I insult a library?" Matthew asked incredulously.

"Ehh…it's a long story." Clide said. "Very long story."

Jessica noted the change in the cloud…err… man's voice. "Care to share?" She asked. "We're not going anywhere soon."

Clide and Clive exchanged looks before turning back to Matthew and Jessica.

"Okay…but you have to keep this a secret from the rest of your army." Clive said urgently. "To tell you the truth… Silent Springs is cursed."

"Cursed…" Jessica said skeptically. "Right…"

"Hey, we're not shitting you." Clide said. "Why else do you think me and my dear brother here have been CLOUDS for over five hundred years?"

"Wait… you two were actually HUMANS at one point?" Matthew asked.

"Yes you dimwit." Clive said. "We were both humans, we both had wives and we both had children. Then we got cursed. Now we're eternally clouds. Fun eh?"

"Wow…" Matthew said. "That must've sucked. Wait, if you're eternally clouds, how come you're human right now?"

"We're GETTING to it." Clide said. "Anyways, five hundred years ago, Silent Springs was pretty much as you see now, only the buildings weren't that new and big. The library was just a library, no traps, and no secret archive."

"Anyways." Clive said. "There was a girl, quite beautiful actually. She was the librarian at the time. Victoria was her name."

"She was quite the looker." Clide said. "Every single guy… and some married people…" Clide shot a dirty look at his brother who smacked him. "..wanted her."

"Unfortunately, shy little Victoria wanted only one man. A man named Joseph Chow." Clive continued.

"Joseph Chow…" Matthew said. "Hey! Isn't Brian and Samantha's last name Chow?"

"Indeed." Clide said. "Joseph is their great great great great and so on grandfather. Unfortunately, Joseph was not a holy man. He was a thief."

"A very renowned thief. In fact, the reason the Silent Springs Archive now rivals the Vatican Archives in Etruria is because Joseph was such a prolific thief."

"You mean…" Jessica began.

"Yes…" Clide interrupted. "Joseph stole holy archives and gave them to Victoria as gifts. Poor Victoria however, had no clue where Joseph was getting this material… so she happily accepted them. In time, Joseph and Victoria were secretly wed and a child was conceived."

"Aww…" Jessica cried. "That's a sweet story."

"It's not over yet." Clive snapped. "Don't get your undies in a bundle. Anyways, eventually, members of the Etrurian Guard came knocking on Silent Springs, asking if anybody's seen any secret documents stolen from the Vatican Archive. Back then, Silent Springs wasn't hazardous enough for anybody too old to run at twenty miles and hour to move out, so the elder kindly invited the guard into the town and assured them that the town would keep a look out for the thieves and documents."

"After the guards left, the elder gave a speech, asking the citizens to keep an eye out for the documents and the thief or thieves."

"That's when Victoria found out the secret of her beloved Joseph. Needless to say, she was quite crushed."

"However, being pregnant, and not wanting her child to be born without a father, Victoria kept silent, and never confronted her husband about the issue. Life went on, however the seed of distrust was planted in Victoria's heart."

"Everything seemed fine, Victoria was about to give birth, and the Etrurian Guards never bothered Silent Springs again… until one day, something happened that would change the city forever."

"On that faithful day, Clive and I needed to do some research. Now, you must remember, before we became clouds, both Clive and I were physicians. Anyways, we needed research on a disease that was plaguing a nearby village. So we asked Victoria for the keys to the restricted section. Victoria, who normally would ask the patron what they needed from the restricted section and go get it herself, was eight months pregnant. So to save her strength, she gave us the keys."

"And that's when we found the secret Vatican Documents."

"Clive and I didn't know what to do. Victoria was loved by the entire town, and didn't seem like the kind of person who would rob a secret archive. But unfortunately, in front of us, we had three entire rooms full of stolen documents and books."

"However unwilling my brother and I were, we confronted Victoria, and made her confess. She spilled everything, how she kept the documents a secret, how she found out her husband was the culprit, everything."

"We understood then that she was innocent in the business, but her husband wasn't. Victoria however, begged us not to turn Joseph in. The poor girl was so head over heels or her husband that she rather we turn HER in than him."

"So faced with a quandary, we made our mistake. Clide and I kept our mouths shut."

"Unfortunately, someone else heard the confession, and the information leaked to the elder. Now, understand that the elder was a kind forgiving man, but he could not forgive Joseph to commit such a sacred blasphemy. So, however much did it pain him to hurt sweet Victoria, the elder had Joseph captured."

"Now, back then, we didn't have good transportation, nor did we have a Pegasus knight. So it took about a month for information to reach Vatican City in Etruria."

"During that time, Victoria gave birth to a healthy baby boy. She spent day and night with Joseph and the baby boy. For that month, they were happy, despite the impending doom."

"Well, the month passed way too quickly. And the Pontificate himself along with the Mage General of Etruria came to try Joseph."

"Joseph was eventually found guilty, and sentenced to death. By the dawn of the next day, the man was dead, hanging by a broken neck at the gallows of Silent Springs."

"Victoria was absolutely crushed. She stopped eating, drinking, hell, we could've sworn she tried to stop breathing many times."

"Then one day, it happened. Victoria left her baby on the doorstep of the elder's daughter, and flung herself off the cliff right over there." Clide pointed at a gorge three feet away from where Jessica was sitting.

"Her body was found the next day, and given a funeral. Everyone mourned over her loss."

"The week after, an ever lasting gloom settled over the town. For the first time in history, a blizzard hit Silent Springs."

"Then at the end of the week, Clide and I were sent to the library again to retrieve the stolen documents to be shipped out."

"When we opened the door to the restricted section, we noticed that the stolen documents were all glowing. We also noticed that we couldn't get near them. So, Clive and I, against our better judgment, tried to use magic to dispel the weird shield around the archives."

"The minute we cast our spells, we knew something was wrong. The force field, instead of dissipating, got stronger. And then, our spells backfired, blasting the two of us out of the library."

"The entire town was already gathered there, and they were quite scared when me and my brother were unceremoniously blasted out of the library. Then, quite suddenly, a spirit rose from the Library."

"It was the spirit of St. Elimine. In a melodious tone, she accused the town of breaking up a beautiful relationship and causing the death of an innocent person because of the human emotion known as possession. She claimed that the secret documents are not to be kept in the Vatican Archives no more, only to be viewed by the eyes of the Pontificate. She demanded that the documents stay where they are and be available to the public. Then, with a bright light, she zapped my brother and me… and transformed us into clouds. Her last words to us were. 'You two shall remain here and guard the archives for centuries to come. One day, five hundred years from now, the chosen one shall come and win the heart of the descendent of fate and guide her to peace. At that time, the curse upon this land shall be lifted and you two shall be liberated.' Then with that, she vanished."

"Ever since that time, Silent Springs has been absolutely hell at winter. We were ripped from our families, even though our wives and children visited us often."

"So according to the prophecy, tonight is the night of judgment where you, Matthew, the chosen one shall steal the heart of the descendent of fate."

Matthew looked dumbstruck. "What! Me! I'm the chosen one?"

'Yes." Clide said. "In all honesty, you look almost exactly like Joseph, and Samantha is almost a carbon copy of Victoria. Plus you love her don't you?"

"So… what's going to happen?" Matthew asked nerviously.

"We honestly have no clue." Clive said. "All we know is you and Samantha are to fall in love, and you're supposed to 'guide her to peace.' Whatever the hell that means."

"Why me though?" Matthew asked. "What does fate have against me?"

"Hell if we know!" Clide said. "And if you think YOUR life sucks, we've been stuck here as clouds for FIVE HUNDRED FREAKING YEARS. Think about how WE feel."

"Sorry…" Matthew muttered. "So… what should I do?"

"Try this." Clive said. "Go inside and talk to her." Clive walked over to Matthew and handed him a card. "That'll deactivate any traps waiting to blast, vaporize or skewer you."

"Thanks." Matthew said and he ran off into the Library.

"Well… looks like this place will finally find peace." Clide said. "I'm gonna miss being a cloud though."

"What'll happen to you two when the curse is lifted?" Jessica asked.

"As far as I know." Clive said. "We finally get to die… or we get to live out the rest of our human life. Frankly, I don't care which."

"That must suck." Jessica said. "Everyone you love is gone."

"Eh well…" Clide said. "Which other dead guy would be able to gloat that he's been able to spend at least some time with his great great great and so on granddaughter."

"Really?" Jessica said curiously. "Who?"

"Well… first of all, our full names are Clide Thomas Lee and Clive Christopher Lee." Clive said. "That should give you one clue."

"Kiyoko!" Jessica asked.

"Yeah, she's mine." Clide said. "I'm her great great whatever grandfather."

"What about you Clive?" Jessica asked.

"Well, my granddaughter married a man with the surname Sithe…" He trailed off.

"Holy shit…" Jessica gasped. "You two are the great great whatever grandfathers of Kate and Kiyoko?"

"The two and only." Clide said proudly. "They remind us of well… us actually. They're known as K/K. Before we got married, we were known as the 'Twin Cs of Doom.'"

"Okay…" Jessica muttered. "This is starting to hurt my head."

"I think you should go back." Clive said. "He'll be fine."

Jessica nodded and turned around to head back to the inn. The twins watched Jessica disappear along the mountain path. Then they turned back towards the library.

"You think this is it bro?" Clide asked.

"It better be." Clive muttered. "Lets just wait for now."

"And hope nobody gets hurt." Clide added. The twins sat down in the snow and began to pray, letting a bright aura surround the two.

Inside the Library, Kevin woke with a start.

"Hmm…" He muttered. He looked to Samantha who was sleeping peacefully in the cot across from his. "So it begins."

He donned his druid robes and walked over to the book he has open on his desk. Lighting a small torch, he brought it down so he could read.

"The Curse of Victoria…. Also known as the Curse of Silent Springs. Cast exactly five hundred years ago from this day." Kevin muttered. He glanced into a glass orb on his desk that showed Matthew making his way through the library.

"The Chosen One eh?" Kevin muttered again. "I just hope this time isn't a fluke again."

Holding up a warp stave, Kevin disappeared in a flash of light, reappearing moments later next to Clide and Clive.

"Care to join us Kev?" Clide asked.

Kevin nodded and joined their circle, letting the aura surround him.

"For your sakes…I hope it's not another false alarm." He muttered.

"For their sakes." Clive muttered back. "I hope we haven't misread the prophecy."

* * *

Charlie: Well… that was a little bit of history for ya. Might've sounded a bit boring…sorry about that. Anyways, whoever guesses what happens in the next chapter wins… three votes for his or her favorite character. (Yes, I'm not expecting anyone to actually guess.)

Anyways, popularity contest is still open, so go vote for your favorite characters.

By the way, go buy Ostian Wine, and save an innocent Mercenary to having to serve a guy with the intellect of a drunken 3 year old.

(Don't ask, I don't know).

**Reviewer Corner n.n**

AuthorOftheDark: Indeed Priscilla is not a servant, but then she does work with Serra more than Lucius would since Lucius is more focused on light magic and Priscilla and Serra are healers. Oh and by the way, my parents didn't give me that middle name… someone else did. It kinda stuck.

LaFia: Heh, yes, Matt's free… and now he must fulfill a prophecy. Man…I love torturing him.

z-animatr: Yeah, Stewie loves his host… because if she wasn't well, he'd be screwed now would he?

Jackswitch: Thanks… I needed a long rest. Probably why this chapter took a while. (Thinking up that back-story took some time)

Wyvernknight: Heh thanks. It was a bit sloppier than usual though.

F00l3Al2: One thing about FF:TSW… it is the worst, most NONsensical movie you'll EVER watch. It literally burned my eyes out. It shames the name of Final Fantasy.

Cool-kid-falcon: Heh, indeed, quite the deadly drink.

Silverfox09: Heh, it was a twist… Brian's a twit sometimes, other times he's cool. Got your votes. Thanks!

JERRY MON: Yay, you finally got your own account! Now to record your votes, and yeah… you can vote for yourself…just I dunno if anyone else will since well… nobody knows about your OC yet.

Lilylisa31: Hehe, thanks! I am indeed honored.

Samantha: Hehe, good, don't act too much like Kiyo. Just act like yourself k? As for erm…tossing you in jail… Uhm… well… I'M REALLY sorry for what's gonna happen to you soon. But… I promise it'll get better. Really! I promise.

Aramin RVN: Heh, sounds like you had fun. Got them votes, and hope you get the second chapter of your fic up soon.

MiSskLutzZz: Heh, well hopefully you'll find a way to get your cell. As for Matthew…he likes Samantha, so yeah… he's depressed that she got tossed in jail.

Lao Who Mai: Heh, I'll start moving towards them, but I wanna get torturing Matt out of my system. FF:TSW is actually a movie… a REALLY bad movie that I despise with every fiber of my being.

Draknal: Heh, things shall continue as they go. The cliff gag…well, you put me with Kiyo and you know it's bound to happen. The Spirits Within (As I have repeated XD;; it's fun to bash it over and over), is a HORRIBLE movie that shouldn't have existed.

TheWatcherandReader: Heh, you were reading my mind when you wanted more library scenes. Don't worry about the booby traps… they'll activate soon.

SacredBlade: Heh thanks!

RWT: Dude, Keitaro is awesome. The one reason I want to be him is not because he has Naru as his girlfriend/wife (Sorry if I ruined it for anyone) it's because he is absolutely indestructible.

Kiyoko-Chan: Thank you! Yes sister, you can vote again. Hehe, I wanted to surprise people… I think it's gonna get even more twisted later on. As for the cube…yes, it's dead. You can sleep easy now. Speaking of which… how's your dad's throat for yelling three hours straight?

Rlnaruhina: Heh, you'll see more SainxFlorina. Unfortunately, you don't get to see the big scene until near the end… sorry! As for your fic… what can I say? I love SainxFlorina as well! You must continue it and update soon yes.

Inferno-hero: Eheh, well, I'm not dead yet, so looks like I have another couple in this fic. Now I can make fun of you on MT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Nightmare3: Yes! Nobody saw that coming! I am the happy. -delivers two of the freshly brewed potions- I better be the godfather of your child if you two manage to produce one!

BlackHole CO: Indeed, I've been getting well…either sloppy or lazy…or both. Oh well, I hope this is better, I've gotten some rest.

Mierin Eronaile: Heh, well, if you consider my sanity and consider that these characters are my creations, you have a grasp of their sanity…or lack thereof. Heh, I guess Louisa can drive Max crazy by bringing a book. (Reminds me kinda of RonxHermione in Harry Potter though O.o straaaaaange…)

Charlie: Wow… thanks for all the support guys! Anyways, here are the current standings in the popularity contest.

Kiyoko 10 votes

Charlie 8 votes

Kevin 5 votes

Samantha 4 votes

Kitty 5 votes

Jerry 2 votes

Lee 1 vote

Clide 1 vote

Alan 2 votes

George 1 vote

Remember, you can vote again and again until I close the contest (Which probably will be when Kevin comes back from China. Gotta give him a chance to vote.)

Well, love ya all! Until next time!


	23. The Missing Prophecy

Charlie: Hello… okay, anyways, this chapter's a bit dark. I have humor in here (Oh come on, I'm the guy who annoys his family by taking a crack at every commercial during movie nights). But I must warn you, some bad stuff does happen in this chapter; I don't like doing this, but it must be done. Besides, there was a reason why I asked for a Grim Reaper right? Oh by the way, we have only one grim reaper. The people who don't get the main part get to be assistants. I'm still making my decision, you'll know by the next chapter. The grim reaper, his assistants, his secretary, and his dad basically only shows up for the next 3-5 chapters after this one, so yeah, it wasn't a huge part to begin with. It's a fun part, but not a huge part.

Oh and this is the last chance you'll get to vote in the popularity contest. If you looked at the votes…yes, it's pretty clear who's gonna take the top two spots (unless a cult forms to take care of that) but remember, I'm getting the top three and having my friend do a colored picture. So keep voting so if your favorite character isn't Charlie or Kiyoko, that character gets in the third spot and gets a spot in that picture.

Another note.

To all Matthew haters and indifferent people and RATIONAL Matthew fans: You have nothing to worry about.

To all Extremist Matthew-Lovers: This will reveal my FIRM (Firm as in no amount of crapped up bullshitting will make me change my views) stance on Matthew. It will also explain WHY I dislike Matthew. If you disagree with me, you disagree with me, but if I get too many people telling me to go "f—k" something, I WILL kill him off PERMANENTLY. If you love him, that's great, but keep your opinions to yourself. I have a bad history with Matthew lovers… don't push my buttons because I can do bad things to you.

Oh well, on with the chapter, and I don't own FE. If I did, I would have a team of writers write this and have it published.

* * *

The Missing Prophecy

Matthew moved into the labyrinth of a library after discovering that Samantha was not in the same jail cell that he was kept in. For some reason, it looked a tad different from what he had seen before, but then he remembered that this was no ordinary library. Holding his card, Matthew decided to screw up his courage and just keep walking. He was sure to find Samantha sooner or later.

Looking down as he went, the sandy haired thief was glad for the card. At first, he wasn't sure it would actually work, but after running for nearly ten minutes without anything wanting to blast, stab, zap, shoot or maim him, Matthew began to gain confidence in the effectiveness of the card.

At that point, he came to a fork in the road. Luckily for him, there was a sign plastered on the wall. Towards his right, the sign read "Master Bedchamber," and towards his left, the sign read "Secret Archive, do not enter without special clearance." Matthew's thievish mind began to turn.

'Hmm…' he pondered. 'This is a trap… the signs are reversed! I know it. Hmm, I wonder if Sammy's in the master bedchamber… then again, maybe the signs aren't reversed…argh, this is too confusing! Ahh screw it, I'm going left.'

Without thinking, he took the path to the left, not noticing the ominous glow his card was emitting.

Outside the library, the three robed figures had finished chanting and were now watching Matthew through a magical orb. Once Kevin saw that Matthew went left, he smacked his forehead and sighed.

"That…IDIOT." He said exasperated. "He's over-thinking this."

Clide and Clive looked at him. "Why? You mean you didn't really switch the signs?"

"There's no point, I'm the only one who ever goes that far into the Library, remember?" Kevin pointed out.

"Oh…right."

"Watcha guys looking at?" A voice suddenly rang out from behind.

All three men jumped thirty feet into the air screeching. When they came back down, they turned around and glared at the person who had scared them out of their wits.

"THE HELL WAS THAT FOR JESSICA!" Clide screamed.

"Sorry…"

Clive sighed and scooted over so Jessica could join in the semi-circle. "We're watching Matty be stupid."

"Good thing I brought popcorn." Jessica said laughing.

"Really?" Kevin asked lighting up.

"I was joking…"

Meanwhile, Matthew was headed down an eerie hallway, lined with pictures of the scouring. Though they depicted the seven heroes in their hour of glory, Matthew couldn't but help feel a tad uneasy about the violence in the art. It was almost as if the artist detested the fact that the heroes were slaying so many dragons.

As he dwelled on his thoughts, Matthew found himself drawing closer and closer to a closed door at the end of the hallway. Written in a subdued red hue on the door were the words "Authorized Personnel Only." Without stopping to think, Matthew put his hand on the knob.

Matthew slowly opened the door and peeked in.

"Samantha?"

No answer. The young man got braver and swung the door wide open and took a step in. He looked around and saw nothing but row upon rows of shelves containing books, memory cubes and documents. It took Matthew a second to realize where he was…

Kevin, Clide and Clive shot through the library the minute they heard the explosion. Behind them, Jessica ran as fast as she could trying to keep up and not get lost in the labyrinth of a library.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO PUT A FREAKING MAZE IN THIS PLACE!" Jessica finally screamed after missing what seemed like the hundredth turn. "HALF THESE HALLS DON'T EVEN LEAD ANYWHERE!"

Kevin took it upon himself to ignore her completely. He desperately wanted to get to the secret archives. Knowing the magnitude of the blasts that occur in there, the librarian knew very well that getting there late could mean the death of Matthew. Clide and Clive seemed to be very well versed in this theory for they weren't taking any chances with the defense system. Every corner they turned, the twins took it upon themselves to blast the defense generators lining the walls into scrap metal. Kevin was at first surprised at the amount of magical power the twins had, until he remembered that they had five hundred years to perfect it.

"Watch the merchandise!" Kevin snapped. "Those launchers are expensive!"

"Not as expensive as Ms. Nam's funeral if one of those things go off." Clive replied smartly.

Kevin just growled and continued to barrel down the hallway next to the twin clouds with Jessica panting behind. After what seemed like several days worth of time, they reached the same intersection they saw Matthew hit earlier. Ahead of them, Kevin saw a girl with long brown hair standing there with a frightened look on her face.

"SAMANTHA!" Everyone yelled at the same time.

The priestess turned and looked relieved seeing some familiar faces run towards her. Kevin quickly approached her and examined her from head to toe.

"You're not hurt are you?"

Finding herself at a loss for words, Samantha just shook her head. She lifted a shaky finger and pointed down the hallway where thick black smoke swirled around. Kevin sighed and handed Samantha's limp body to Jessica. Then gesturing for the twins, he headed towards the smoke.

Moments later, a loud blast was heard and three bodies were flung back down the hall, missing Jessica and Samantha by mere inches. Clide stood up and brushed himself off before helping his brother and Kevin.

"Looks like this thing holds a grudge." He muttered.

Kevin stared at the smoke for a while. "I guess there's a magical barrier there."

"Ya think Sherlock?" Clide said sarcastically.

"Hey, you're the uber druid, you and your brother figure it out." Kevin snapped going back towards Samantha. "I'm gonna check up on our patient."

Clide sighed and glanced at his twin who smirked.

"Ready bro?"

"As always."

The two slowly approached the smoke, shooting random spells into the barrier. Both made a mental note at where the spells were being blocked, marking the position of the barrier. Moments later, they were standing right in front of it.

"Any ideas?" Clide asked.

"Not a."

"Care to chance a insanely strong spell."

"Only if you feel like getting your head blasted off."

"Point taken."

Clide sighed, this was not what he expeted, of course, he didn't expect Matthew to be a paranoid idiot, but then he considered the reputation of the library and found that he really couldn't blame him.

"When I die." Clive groaned as he poked the barrier with a beam of light. "Remind me to call St. Elimine some appropriate names for making the chosen one and retarded prick."

Clide glanced at his brother. "Heh, what makes you think you'll see her?"

"Easy, I'll hunt her down in he-" Clive stopped himself, realizing what his brother was insinuating.

"I hate you."

"Love you to bro."

At this point, Kevin got pissed.

"ARE YOU TWO DONE HAVING AN ICE CREAM SOCIAL WITH THE MAGIC BARRIER! BECAUSE I DON'T THINK LETTING 'THE CHOSEN ONE' DIE WAS PART OF THE DEAL!"

Clive glared back at Kevin. "Hey, the hell do you expect from us? YOU'RE the one who put in these overkill features."

Kevin growled. "But the magic barrier wasn't me!"

"We're working on it okay!"

"Well hurry up!" Jessica snapped finding her voice. "Sammy here's gonna soak my shirt with her blasted crying."

"That's not very comfort-" Clive began but he was quickly shut up when Kevin threw a piece of wood at him.

"I don't think they like us." He huffed to his brother.

"They don't like you."

"That's twice in a day."

"I love you to bro."

Clide and Clive let their lovely conversation die and turned back towards the invisible barrier. The continued to prod it with light spells only to have them completely absorbed by the barrier.

"This is pissing me off." Clide growled.

Clive sighed. "Screw this." He took a deep breath and started walking forward. Before Clide could react, Clive had walked into and through the barrier completely.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!" Clide said incredulously.

Clive shrugged, apparently as shocked as his twin was. Clide nodded and he too calmly walked into the barrier and through it harmlessly.

"I wonder why it blasted us back before." Clive wondered out loud.

"No clue." Clide said. He trained his voice down the hall. "Yo! KEVIN! We figured it out! Just walk through the barrier! We're across!"

Moments later, Kevin, Jessica and Samantha appeared outside the barrier. Clive walked back out and walked back into the barrier to demonstrate. After watching him, Kevin and Samantha both took deep breaths and walked into the barrier, passing through harmless.

"Whoa it worked!" Kevin said. "Come on Jessica."

Jessica decided not to take any chances. She scooted back, and took a running start. When she hit the barrier, a loud explosion was heard as the energy barrier manifested itself and blasted Jessica back into the void.

"Well…I think we figured that one out." Kevin said. "JESSICA! JUST WALK THROUGH IT! I THINK THESE THINGS REACT TO VIOLENCE!"

They waited a few seconds before footsteps announced the presence of their disgruntled friend. Jessica grumbled as she stepped across the barrier.

"Whoever made this thing was a genius… they knew the people rushing here would be running at top speed." Jessica growled.

"You're just bitter." Clide teased.

"Shut up."

Kevin waved his arms and the party fell silent. They walked forward slowly, sticking together closely. Black smoke billowed around them and pretty soon the visibility had dropped to around three inches on all sides. Finally, after bumping into one another for too long, Jessica snapped.

"Somebody do something about this smoke!"

Clide and Clive looked at each other and shrugged. Chanting together, they launched a light spell into the thick smoke, intending to light the area up.

Unfortunately, the minute the magic hit the smoke, things got ugly. The smoked raged about them, as if angry about something. Behind them, a large funnel shaped cloud of smoke was forming and heading towards them.

"Oh shit… another trap." Kevin groaned.

"Well…don't just stand here…" Clide said calmly before breaking out in a panic. "RUN!"

The entire group sprinted through the now raging smoke with no heed to their surroundings. Kevin knew that the hallway was pretty much a straight stretch until the door. Soon, five panting sprinters finally reached a door, which they promptly flung open and threw themselves in before kicking the door shut.

After they had composed themselves, everyone stood up and dusted themselves off. Kevin looked around and gasped. They were in the secret archives, but it was completely in tact. In fact, the entire archive room was pristine, basically untouched.

"What the?" Kevin muttered. "Okay…this is really starting to freak me out."

Clide and Clive also started to gain their senses. The twins moved into the archive, inspecting the shelves.

"Everything's clean." Clide announced. "There's no sign of any explosion."

"Yeah, this is starting to freak me out." Clive said.

Jessica looked around the archive in awe. "Do you guys thing there's another trap here?"

"Wouldn't doubt it." Kevin said. "Be on your guard, lets see what we can find deeper in the archive."

The five regrouped and headed down the central aisle, into the heart of the Silent Springs Archive.

Deep within the Archive, Matthew began to stir. He groaned and put his hand to his head. As the man woke, he noticed a freakishly bright light. Sitting up, Matthew looked around to gain his bearings.

The first thing he saw was a beautiful blond haired woman sitting next to him.

"You're awake." She said.

Matthew groaned. "Where am I?"

"Silent Springs Archive." She said.

"Who are you?" Matthew asked not exactly thinking coherently.

"I'm a goddess, lets just leave it at that." The woman said curtly.

"A goddess?"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

Matthew shook his head. "But still… what's your name? All goddess have names."

"Fine… call me… 'The Almighty One!'" She struck a ridiculous pose.

Matthew stared in disbelief for a long time. "Wow…they don't tell us this in Bible studies."

The Almighty One picked up a random book and smacked Matthew over the head.

"Quiet boy." She growled.

"OW! HEY THAT HURT!" Matthew cried holding his head. "And what'dya mean boy? You look just as young as I am."

The Almighty One smiled. "I may look young, but I am indeed quite old. In fact, I'm over…hey wait a minute…the hell am I telling you my age for! Go ahead and call me a hot young thing."

"…They DEFINITELY didn't tell us about THIS in Bible Studies."

The Almighty One rolled her eyes. "Anyways, you are as you probably figured out around, thirty minutes ago, The Chosen One, for the lack of a better term. Unfortunately, apparently Victoria's descendent isn't here yet, so we'll have to chill out here for a while."

"That's fine with me Ms. Uhm… Almighty One."

The goddess rolled her eyes again. "Fine, just call me Irene."

"Okay Irene." Matthew said; this time he rolled his eyes.

Half a mile away, our intrepid heroes were trudging along. One of their numbers refused to stop complaining.

"My feet are sore…. My back's sore… I'm hungry."

Finally, Kevin exploded.

"FOR CRIPES SAKE JESSICA! SHUT…UP!"

Jessica buried her head into Samantha's thick night robe. "He's being mean to me!"

Samantha glared at Kevin. "Stop being mean to Jessie!"

Kevin just groaned. He glanced at the twins.

"Can't we just abandon them?"

Clide looked at him critically. "If you can convince Samantha to just abandon Jess-"

"NEVER!" Samantha yelled out before Clide could finish.

"Well, looks like we're stuck with them."

Kevin groaned. It was going to be a long trip.

Meanwhile, Matthew was quickly wishing that his life would end. After sitting for nearly twenty minutes with Irene, the blonde goddess went into chatterbox mode.

As Irene rambled on and on about her friends and her clothes and her trinkets and her supposed boyfriend, Matthew found himself banging his head against the ground.

"…When I find those damn pastors from Bible Studies, I will no longer feel any guilt in disconnecting their heads from their shoulders." Matthew moaned as Irene launched into a tirade about her ex.

"He was so mean to me! He cheated on me and he didn't give me anything good…and… you okay there boy?"

Irene finally noticed Matthew's agony.

"Finally!" Matthew sighed.

"Excuse me?"

The young assassin lifted a finger and pointed it at Irene. "You… can you please just SHUT UP about your life! It's not interesting enough to warrant this!"

"Oh, well sorry oh great Chosen One. Care to share your life?" Irene snapped

"I'd rather not."

Irene rolled her eyes. "Well, what do you want to do?"

"Can't we go look for them?"

Irene blinked… "I suppose we could, but don't you want to hear what Elimine did last week to Ro-"

"NO!"

"Fine…. Meanie."

The goddess shut up and sat down again, shooting Matthew a very disgruntled look. Matthew on the other hand, couldn't be happier.

Before long, the two heard an almighty screech of someone yelling "shut up" from the distance. Matthew looked up questioningly at Irene who nodded.

"Yep…that's them."

Matthew slowly got up and headed towards the voices, not noticing the look of sorrow on Irene's face. Pretty soon, he could make out four distinct voices. As he got closer, he noticed there were five people. Matthew figured Clide and Clive must have near identical voices.

Kevin was the first to see Matthew, followed by the twins, then Jessica…and finally Samantha.

As Matthew and Samantha locked eyes, the world around them began to fall apart. Kevin, the twins and Jessica stepped aside as they watched the two rushed into each other's arms. Samantha hugged Matthew as she sobbed into his chest.

As the lovers were reuniting, Clide and Clive discretely snuck off, heading towards the center. They found the blonde haired goddess and knelt down.

"You two have done…well I suppose." Irene said.

"Thank you… we've kept your identity from the rest of the town." Clide answered for both himself and his twin.

Irene nodded sadly. "You also kept the second part of my prophecy from the Chosen One."

Clide and Clive nodded guiltily. "We didn't want to… burden him with this… he's still young."

"As was my daughter when she died; as was her fiancé when he died." Irene said. "Sometimes we meet our destiny way before we're ready."

Clide smiled sadly. "Your daughter was a strong girl."

"Victoria was indeed." Irene said softly. "But… you know the ritual has to happen… you know my full prophecy."

"Yes…" the twins said together. "Joseph and Victoria's souls will be reunited. The girl will be at peace… and Silent Springs will be saved. If not, then the village will fall to the demon of winter."

"Roughly put… yes." Irene said. "Are you ready?"

"No…but when will we ever" Clide asked. "Just one question… what happens to us afterwards?"

"If the prophecy is fulfilled tonight… you two shall go back into the human world… and live until your time is up. If not…" Irene shook her head sadly. "You shall become the demon that destroy's Silent Springs."

Clide and Clive nodded, and they walked with Irene towards where the happy couple was reunited.

As they got near, Clide pulled Jessica and Kevin aside.

"There are some things I need to tell you guys…that I didn't."

Kevin and Jessica nodded and followed Clide away from Matthew and Samantha.

"Tonight…" Clide began. "If the prophecy is fulfilled, and Matthew brings Samantha peace…then all would be well… if not…then Silent Springs will be destroyed."

Kevin nodded. "That's expected. I'm curious… you always said something about bringing the descendents of fate to peace. What does that mean?"

"That's…what I've been hiding from you." Clide said. "When the prophecy said something about the Chosen One guiding the descendent of Victoria to peace…it means… the Chosen One will express his love for the descendent of Victoria… and upon doing so… her life…will be exchanged in return for the salvation of Silent Springs and eventually, the rest of Elibe."

Jessica gasped. "You mean…"

Clide nodded. "Samantha will die tonight… if she doesn't…. the world will."

* * *

Charlie: …don't kill me… -runs-

Okay, sorry for the really bad chapter, but I'm just feeling like crud the entire week. Anyways, I've lengthened this plotline another chapter, so there's a third installment before you find out the actual truth of the prophecy. Yes, I gave it one twist already, Clide and Clive lied about some aspects. St. Elimine never appeared, it was this Serra-like goddess, Irene. (Got the name from Hurricane Irene). Will Samantha die? Guesses anyone? (And yes, Irene is Victoria's mother. Just take it at face value for now, it'll be explained all when the prophecy is fulfilled or broken)

Sammy… I'M SORRY! I really…promise to make it up to you okay? You won't be taken out of the fic, definitely not, you're one of my favorite characters (I don't vote in the popularity contest so people who want someone else to win, don't accuse me of cheating). But I want to have a nice little complicated plotline involving you, Matthew, the clouds, and Kevin.

Anyways… two announcements.

First, vote for your favorite character for the popularity contest in a review this time. All votes in reviews for chapter 23 will count double. (You can still vote for three characters). The contest will close at 8:00 PM PST next Tuesday. Meaning any votes after 8 PM on Tuesday will not count. Oh and remember, only reviewing this chapter with character names for the contest will count double.

Secondly: After the popularity contest closes, I shall be working on something for the top three favorite characters. Alas, my physical and mental health along with my high school registration forms and college applications dictate that I must take some time off from this fic. I hope you understand guys, I'm taking a break that could last anywhere from two weeks to a month. I need this time to recuperate, get paperwork filled out, and be at band practice. So I ask you, I have my SN in my profile. If you want to chat, feel free to IM me. (First tell me who you are). But please don't use it to prod me into updating. However, if after a month from today and I still haven't updated, go ahead and prod me.

With that… I must leave you at this cliffhanger. I wish it could be different… but please understand that I need to get other obligations in my life sorted out first. I love you guys all and hope you'll continue to support me throughout this. I've sworn to see this fic to the end, and I will, I just need a break for now.

Until later…

Charlie Wen Jie Wu


	24. Lavender Breeze

Charlie: Yo, okay, anyways, back from my break, got my registration crap finally all done. College apps have a ways to go, but I have lotsa time left. Okay, a few announcements. **PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES. I WILL KNOW IF YOU DON'T READ THEM.** First of all, popularity contest results. Yeah…big landslide for first. Second and third place were close though. Then it was another landslide and yeah, you get the point. Here are the results.

Kiyoko: 27 pts  
Charlie: 20 pts  
Kevin: 19 pts  
Samantha: 10 pts  
Kate: 9 pts  
Kitty: 9 pts  
George: 6 pts  
Alan: 3 pts  
Jerry: 2 pts  
Stewie: 2 pts  
Jessica: 2 pts  
Glenn: 2 pts  
Hitomi: 1 pt  
Lee: 1 pt  
Clide: 1 pt

Second note, I am really getting sick and tired of you people telling me that I shouldn't bash Matthew, I shouldn't prejudge him, he's awesome, WHATEVER. Okay, guys, I have given you people, TIME and TIME again, EVIDENCE as to why I dislike him. Guess what, it isn't just that I have a bad turn with him. Matthew just has poor stat growths period. And guess what? Even if he did have good stat growths, he still wouldn't be a "must have" character. Assassins RELY on criticals to kill, I'm sorry, but I don't feel it is worth it to have a character leech killing edge after killing edge to kill a few enemies. If you guys like Matthew, that's cool, I'm not gonna mail you a bomb or anything, but please, respect my opinions. I have yet to go up to a Matthew fan and told him or her to go –censor- him or herself. I expect to be treated the same way. If you feel that it is your holy crusade to get me to like Matthew, let me just tell you now, insulting me will not do it. Telling me "Matthew is good if you work at him and give him all the stat up items" isn't gonna do it, because MARCUS can be good if I work at him and give him all the stat up items. I just don't like Matthew, now lets drop it before I get pissed.

Finally, yes, I know some FE characters are left out. Yes, I am aware that Harken and Wallace are not in the fic yet. YES, I KNOW. I've made it clear before that I know all of this. I have my plans for them. As I have made it clear many times before in notes that probably none of you have read, (Honestly, I include these things so you guys won't have to yell at me.) this fic will be nearly a hundred chapters long, or at least AROUND there. Anything that happens in this thing happens SLOWLY. If I were to smash all the pairings together now and rush through the plot now, I wouldn't have any ideas for the second week of Fourteen Days right? The fic is called Fourteen Days because there will be FOURTEEN days of events; I'm in the early morning of day FOUR right now. All things will come with time so as readers, I ask of you: PLEASE. BE. PATIENT.

Okay… -takes deep breath- now, as for parts and stuff, grim reaper and friends come in next chapter. It's not exactly a big part so for those purists out there who are worried that I will be ignoring the FE people again; keep your pants on. Positions announced next chapters. Anyways, this is the last time I'll be having multi-chaptered appearances in the fic. I suck at organization so keeping track of 30 OCs and 46 FE characters is not easy, and I don't have a team of writers to help me.

However, whoever can guess the correlation between the chapter title and this chapter gets a cameo (As in a paragraph or two at most). Happy hunting.

And enjoy guys, sorry for making you wait, and sorry for the rants. Some people just really get on my nerves. …And oh right, another thing I forgot. I don't openly cuss in the fic nor do I do it in my reviewer responses or author notes. I expect you people, being at least over the age of thirteen (I hope, given the rating), to write less offensive reviews. It's not that I can't take cursing, it's just that anybody who wants to can see your reviews, and I don't want parents and older siblings of younger readers yelling at me because of some people's inability to keep their typing clean. As such, I will be removing anonymous reviews with any kind of indecent language directed towards me, my work, and anybody who reads this fiction. I really didn't want to have to resort to this, but it is disrespectful, and honestly speaking, if you want to cuss me out, don't leave an anonymous review for everyone to see, it's just really bad taste. You have something to say to me, look up my email or AIM; both are in my profile. If you want to cuss me out, do it in an email or on AIM, not on something open to the public. Reviews can be viewed by the general public, and unless you're the type of person who would go to the middle of Central Park or St. Mark's Square and yell out rude obscenities for everyone to hear, please just cuss at me in private.

Sorry, just some things I need to get cleared after the break. Here's the fic. Yes, I REALIZE that NINIAN is SUPPOSED to be DEAD. I am simply using my right as a fanfiction author to change a few things. If you're a purist about these things… well then, I don't even know why you're even here.

* * *

Lavender Breeze

Nergal paced the antechamber in the Dragon's Gate at Dread Isle. Eliwood was late… very late. The dark lord had not expected the young hero to be so dreadfully late. Nergal was getting impatient. He wanted Eliwood's Quintessence and he wanted it now. Unfortunately, all reports from scouting morphs say that Eliwood, his bloody friends, and their annoying comrades had simply… vanished off the face of the Earth.

But Nergal knew otherwise. Forty plus people didn't simply vanish. They were out there, he could feel it. Nergal could sense their energy signatures. Unfortunately, that didn't allow him to pinpoint their location. He only knew Eliwood and his gang of meddling fools were staying put somewhere between Etruria and Lycia. And for reasons he could not yet begin to comprehend, they were getting stronger.

His first thought was that Athos was with them, but then Nergal had sensed the old bat elsewhere, no doubt. Needless to say, Nergal was perplexed and annoyed. He did not like the thought of having to battle a stronger army than he intended. He needed his energy to control the dragons.

As he mulled over the possibilities of what Eliwood could've been doing, Nergal pulled a bottle of clear liquid to his mouth and took a sip. He smiled, after years of being a crazed madman, he still had not lost his taste for good firewater. As he brought the bottle down, he sensed someone entering the room.

"What is it Limstella?" Nergal said without turning around.

"More scouts have returned my lord." The morph said unflinching.

"Have they found Eliwood?" Nergal asked taking another sip of his liquor.

"No my lord." Limstella said easily.

Nergal flared and threw his bottle into the a fire he had running. Blood red flames burst out as the alcohol fueled the fire and gave it the bloody hue. Nergal turned and glared hard at his creation.

"Then why are you disturbing me? I've made it clear that you, nor anyone else is to disturb me UNLESS that meddling brat has been found."

Limstella remained unabashed. "Sir, they have not found the prince himself, however, they do report a strange occurrence on the Lycia-Etruria border."

"Oh? Really? Tell me about this… occurrence."

"As our scouts traversed the mountain ranges, they found a curious ledge in the distance. That ledge was for some reason glowing with a bright light. Before our scouts could get any closer, a huge explosion resonated through the mountain range. As they approached the ledge to investigate further, they discovered a magical barrier that vaporized three of our scouts upon contact."

Nergal quirked an eyebrow. "Interesting… that might explain the growing energy signatures I've been picking up in that region. Did our scouts manage to mark where this suspicious location is?"

Limstella nodded. The morph walked to a table and spread out a huge map of Lycia over it's top. Taking a small dagger, Limstella held it over the map and let it fall into a point between Lycia and Etruria.

Nergal stared hard at the point on the map. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly.

"Curious… very curious." He said.

"My lord?"

"If I am not mistaken, our scouts have found Silent Springs."

"And…why is that curious?"

Nergal didn't say anything for a while, but just stared into space. Finally, he turned back to Limstella.

"Assemble the best team of hand to hand units you can find and send them to that location. Instruct them to wear talismans. Tell them that no matter what, they are to approach this location on the map, no excuses."

"Yes my lord."

"Oh and Limstella…"

"Yes my lord?"

"Execute the scout team that reported this information."

"My lord?"

"Silent Springs is an interesting place. It cannot be find by creatures of evil. It's an ancient magic placed on the town by an old wizard even before the time of the scouring. Which means, my morphs would NEVER have been able to witness that ledge and the light unless… there was a human among them."

"You think we have a spy?"

"I know we have a spy." Nergal said producing another bottle of firewater out of his robes. "Round up the scouting team, and execute them all. They will understand. They're mere morphs, nothing more."

Limstella allowed the slightest of flinches. "Yes master. Do you wish me to lead this raid?"

Nergal took a sip of his liquor and shook his head. "People of Silent Springs live with the harshest of elements. Naturally, even the weakest of them have amazingly high resistance to Nature Magic. You will stay here and let the morphs do their duty. Understand?"

Limstella nodded. She turned on her heels and walked crisply away.

Nergal took another sip and watched his morph step from the room. He could help wondering if the magic of Dragon's Gate was actually making Limstella human. Nergal shook his head. No, Limstella was a morph, a creature of darkness, and it will always stay that way… even if the bloody morph was beginning to develop feminine features.

Limstella picked her way out of the antechamber. She pondered Nergal's words. For some reason, they stung her more than they were supposed to. She walked on grimly. It was as she expected. The ancient magic of Dragon's Gate was changing her. She no longer considered herself a thing, an object, but sometimes, when her mind drifted, she began to imagine herself in a flowing white gown walking down a carpeted aisle Limstella didn't know what the gown or the aisle meant, but for some reason, she felt a strange thing she hadn't felt before. An emotion.

Quickly dismissing the thought from her mind, Limstella put up blocks on her mind again. Once again, she became an 'it'. The thing walked calmly into the outer chambers where members of the scouting team waited. Without preamble, the cold morph summoned fires that burned hotter than the sun, sending them into the heads of the waiting morphs, watching them dissolve into a pile of dirt and ashes. When the deed was done, Limstella swept up the dust, not noticing the pair of cold dark eyes watching it.

---

Clide and Clive took a moment for the news to sink into Jessica and Kevin.

"So… if Samantha doesn't die tonight…" Kevin said dryly. "The planet will implode?"

"Explode." Clide corrected. "But yeah something like that."

Jessica looked back at Matthew and Samantha happily reunited. "So… how exactly is she supposed to die."

"Honestly, we don't know." Clive said. "Ask Irene."

"Ask me what?"

Irene had broken her self away from the couple and joined them at the side.

"How is Samantha supposed to die?" Jessica asked again.

"Quite painlessly." Irene said. She waved her hands and conjured a bottle of clear pink-purple liquid. "Matthew must give her this potion. Once she drinks it, she will die, and her life energy will be dispersed to lift the curse."

"I see…" Jessica said softly. She turned to look at the couple again. "…How are we going to tell him?"

"Well…we have two ways of doing this." Irene said. "We could lie to him, and have him be utterly pissed off at us. OR we could tell him the truth and have him get second thoughts."

"…That is very conforting."

Irene glared at Jessica. "No need to be sarcastic dear."

"Sarcastic! Hell! I have to work with that man to save the world from another threat. You're telling me that I'm going to have to either work with him being extremely moody, or extremely pissed off. Neither option looks enticing to me right now."

"You'll have to deal with it honey." Irene said, trying to control her annoyance.

"Easy for you to say." Jessica spat.

"Hey, do you think this is easy for ME! Samantha is my direct descendent. I'm going to have to induce the man who stole her heart to KILL her. Do you think this is a walk in the park for me?"

"You're a freaking goddess!" Jessica screamed not caring if Matthew or Samantha hears her. "I'm not!"

"Okay, you're pissing me off girl." Irene growled.

"What are you going to do about it?"

Irene scowled and pointed a finger at Jessica. "Canturire. Silens Nox."

The tactician immediately began to sing at the top of her lungs. Jessica looked around frantically, aware of what she was doing but unable to stop. Irene turned her back and left Jessica to her singing.

Kevin looked at Irene quizzically. "Why'd you make Jessica sing Silent Night?"

"She was pissing me off. And for some reason, the sacrificial ritual requires this song to be sung in the background." Irene said calmly. Jessica was now trying to clamp her mouth shut with great difficulty. However, despite her attempts, the lyrics to "Silent Night" continued to ring out.

Clide and Clive exchanged glances.

"Irene, I think we should tell Matthew now." Clide said.

Irene sighed. By this time, Matthew and Samantha noticed Jessica's odd behavior and had approached the group.

"Why is Jessica singing Silent Night?" Matthew asked.

"Irene got pissed at her." Kevin said calmly.

"Can't you make her stop? It's driving me mad."

Irene rolled her eyes. "Fine…" She pointed her finger at Jessica again. "Finis Magia."

Immediately, Jessica's mouth flew open and a stream of expletives flew out and filled the room. Samantha blushed and the men in the room, looked around uncomfortably. Irene quickly pointed at Jessica's throat. "Tempus."

"Did you just stop her time?" Clide asked incredulously.

Irene shrugged. She turned towards Matthew and Samantha with a grave look. Before she could say anything, the happy expression on Samantha's face melted all her resolve. She backed away, tears in her eyes.

"…I can't do this." Irene sobbed quietly. She turned away. "You tell them."

"Tell us what?" Matthew and Samantha asked in unison.

Kevin turned towards them with a pained expression. "Matthew… you need to kill Samantha tonight, or else the world will explode."

Everyone present, looked on solemnly as Matthew and Samantha's happy expressions melted from their faces.

"No…" Matthew said softly shaking his head. "I don't… I can't… no."

"Unfortunately… you have to." Irene said. She pulled out the bottle again. "You have to pour this down Samantha's throat by sunrise, or else the sun's beam will turn Clide and Clive into raging storms that will destroy the world."

"Can't… can't someone else do it? Can't it be someone else? Why me? What Samantha? What the hell did I do to deserve this?"

"I don't know!" Irene said. "It's hard enough for the rest of us to have to see you go through this. True, we'll never know YOUR pain, but god damn it don't guilt trip the rest of us. It's not our fault… it's nobody's fault. Someone up there just hates you I guess."

Tears now flowed freely from Matthew's eyes. The salty drops ran over his face, and fell onto the floor, staining the marble ground. Samantha's tear streaked face was planted in his cloak.

"No…I won't do this! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Matthew screamed and he grabbed Samantha's hand and ran.

Irene was even faster. She quickly swept around the room with her hand. "Murus Lapis!" She screamed. Tall stone walls shot from the ground and surrounded the group.

"Four hours Matthew." Irene said. "Either make her drink that potion, or smash it against the ground. Your decision."

Matthew sank to his knees, crying. "It's… just not fair. Why is this happening to me?"

"Someone up there hates you." Irene said coldly. "Four hours Matthew." Irene turned around and waved at Jessica again. "Finis Magia." Then vanished in a flash of bright light.

Jessica fell out of her time freeze with a confused expression. Kevin slowly went up to her and gave her a quiet recap of what had happened while she was frozen in time. As the librarian finished the story, Jessica let her eyes drift to Matthew and Samantha, who were in each other's arms on the ground.

Jessica walked up to the couple and placed a comforting hand on his back. "Take your time… do what you know is right. And remember that Samantha has as much of a say in this as you do."

With that, the tactician retreated. She looked around and noticed the stone walls.

"How do we get out of here?" Jessica asked.

"We don't." Kevin said. "We wait until Matthew makes a decision."

"I think we should get out of here and give them some alone time." Jessica said.

Clide and Clive nodded. They closed their eyes and drew a circle on the ground.

"Portus." They said in unison. The magic circle glowed blue and the entire group walked into the portal, leaving Matthew and Samantha behind.

The three druids and Jessica emerged from the portal outside the library. The building looked oddly peaceful, save for the violently pulsating multicolored aura surrounding the entire building. There was a calming silence, as if the entire world was holding its breath.

"He has four hours." Kevin said softly.

"Then sunlight will hit us." Clide continued.

"And we will destroy the world." Clive finished.

"What if he gives Samantha the drink?" Jessica asked.

"Then the entire area will light up." Kevin started.

"A beam of light that is Samantha's life energy will shoot out." Clide said.

"And hit us, releasing the curse and taking away Samantha's life." Clive finished.

"That's getting annoying."

"Sorry." Came three apologetic voices.

"Guess there's nothing to do but wait." Jessica said.

"Yep."

The four gathered outside the library sat down in the crisp snow, waiting for either salvation… or destruction.

Inside the inner sanctum of the archives, Matthew and Samantha sat together. The tears have stopped flowing. They simply sat there, holding each other. No words exchanged. No words were needed. They know what had to be done…

Matthew held Samantha tightly in his arms. His chin rested on top of her head. Samantha sat in Matthew's lap, comforted by Matthew's strong arms wrapped around her waist. They sat there for a long time, simply enjoying each other's company. As time passed, Matthew held Samantha even tighter and buried his face into the crook of her neck, taking in her calming scent.

"Matthew…" Samantha whimpered as he placed butterfly kisses along her neck. "Stop… please."

Matthew sighed and pulled up. "Is…it time already?"

Samantha nodded. "I'm not afraid of dying. I just…don't want to leave you."

"It's happened to me before." Matthew said. "I'll never forget you…"

"Promise me you'll move on." Samantha said. "As cliché as it sounds, I want you to move on."

Matthew nodded stiffly. He sighed and pulled out the vial of pink liquid.

"I love you."

Samantha smiled. "I know…" She pulled the cork of the vial held firmly in Matthew's hand.

"I…can't." Matthew choked.

Samantha smiled. Leaned up and kissed him lightly, then took his hand in hers and brought it up to her lips and in one fluid motion tipped the pinkish-purplish liquid into her mouth and down her throat. "I love you…too."

* * *

Charlie: Eh, I'm a bit rusty, oh well. Yes, I am evil, another cliffie. What will happen? Oh yes, death appearing in next chapter. One thing though, I've thought about the next parts, and I've decided to take out the part of Death's Father. It's kinda pointless. Besides, I have a sneaking suspicion of the person who applied for that position. Anyways, yeah, is really retarded, author's notes, reviewer responses, etc are technically "not allowed." They want to promote "professionalism." As far as I'm concerned, if I wanted to be professional, I would've written a book, not post on their sorry website. What really ticks me off is that people who have paid accounts are exempt from punishment. Yeah, that says a lot about the character of the admins. As for this fic, yes, I will continue having author's notes because I feel that interacting with my readers is important. Though I will not have one this chapter, I will continue to do reviewer response in the next chapter so my readers know that I'm human and not a government robot. In my opinion, professionalism is the one thing that saps life out of everything.

As for my signature in the last chapter….

My unofficial middle name is "onion" because everyone calls me that (SN onionbreath002… go figure)

My official legal middle name is Wen Jie. That's my Chinese name. So yeah, trivia, but hey, people asked.

Well, love ya all, sorry about the wait. I'll try to update soon.

_Trnaslations:  
_canere - sing  
vox - voice  
silens - silent  
nox - night  
finis - end  
magia- enchantment  
tempus - time  
lapis - stone  
murus - wall

(rough translations... I don't speak latin well, I just know a few words)


	25. Misty Haze

Charlie: Yes, anyways, death will be appearing in this chapter. To everyone who wanted the part, yeah, sorry, as much as I would've liked, I couldn't give everyone the part. So for the next 3-5 chapters, the one who got the part will be the grim reaper… and the rest of you will show up one by one starting with the chapter after this one. You'll all have interesting little parts.

Anyways… before y'all die of anticipation and what not. This is based on yeah… bio, as will the size of your cameo be.

Death – Sturm (Congrats. I might be changing the personality a tad though)

Death's Secretary – Demitra Lark (Poke me when I start making her too sarcastically mean)

Well, there you have it. For the most part, Sturm will be referred to as "Death" by most of the generic characters. -nodnod-

Anyways, no more angry rants from me. If you asked me to read and review your fic and I still haven't done so yet… I'm sorry! I'll be getting to it soon (I hope).

Oh well, on with the show. This chapter will also end all the seriousness we've been having lately. Yep.

* * *

Misty Haze

Jaffar woke with a start. After realizing he wasn't under attack, he turned over, groaning. The sun wasn't up yet. He turned around again, intent on getting back to sleep. Moments later however, the assassin suddenly noticed how quiet the room was. He got up and looked around, only to see that his roommate was missing.

"Where did that bum get off to?" Jaffar wondered to himself as he got out of bed and pulled a warm cloak over his shoulders. It was too late to go back to sleep, once Jaffar got woken up, it was nearly impossible for him to get back to sleep. Clasping his cloak on with a simple pin, Jaffar stepped out of his room and slammed into a sleepy looking Lowen who was carrying a young girl on his back.

Jaffar slammed into the ground followed by two more thuds announcing that two more bodies had hit the floor as well. Jaffar rolled over and picked himself up before walking over to the two moaning lumps on the ground.

"Lowen? Nino?" Jaffar said quizzically. "What are you two doing out here?"

Lowen groaned and picked himself from the floor while Jaffar picked up the still half asleep and dazed Nino.

"She wanted some water…" The paladin said pointing to the girl. "And she didn't want to sleep alone in a dark room."

Jaffar let his lips twitch up for just a moment. "Right… well, my roommate seems to have slipped out for a midnight stroll. If you're still awake after we get Nino her water, I could use an extra pair of eyes to look out for him."

Lowen shrugged. "We could leave the girl with Lady Louise. But one question, why do you want to search for your roommate? He could just be out for a walk."

"Because he's Matthew." Jaffar said curtly. "The man who's been planning my death since the moment he set eyes on me."

"Ahh!" Lowen did not say anymore. Silently, the two slipped downstairs. They felt around until they found an oil lamp and turned it on.

"Aww…" Lowen cooed pointing to two lumps cuddled on the floor.

Jaffar smirked as he watched all the drunk Silent Springs residents lay around in heaps. He stepped over the couple cuddled together and scanned the room for the innkeeper, figuring that he would know where to get a glass of water. Moments later, he found the innkeeper, sprawled on the ground snoring quite loudly. He had an oddly colored robe covering his body.

Jaffar navigated through the different lumped piles of people and poked the innkeeper.

"Hey, where can we get water?"

Charlie groaned and turned over. "Behind…counter…fountain…zzz…" He mumbled before going back into a deep sleep.

The assassin found the innkeeper's current state quite interesting and fought to keep from laughing. He quickly made his way to the counter the sleeping man had indicated and poured a glass of water to bring to Lowen and Nino. The green haired girl woke up mometarily to down the cup of water before falling right back into a deep slumber. Lowen chucked lightly.

"She's seems so innocent."

Jaffar kept silent. He hoisted Nino onto his back and carried her over to where Charlie was lumped up. He placed Nino against the man, using his stomach as a pillow. He stripped off one of his 3 cloaks that he had pulled on earlier and covered the girl.

Lowen stepped over and glanced down. "Are you sure we should do this? We could just carry her back."

Jaffar just shrugged. "She'll be fine. Come on, lets go find Matthew before he manages to raise an army of mountain hermits against me."

Lowen flinched slightly as he followed Jaffar out. He scanned the assassin's face wondering if the solemn man had just made a joke. He found no traces of humor in the man's unchanging face and sighed. It was going to be an awkward morning.

The pair left the inn and looked around.

"Well…we've got two directions, left and right." Lowen said.

Jaffar pointed left towards the mountains. "That way. It leads into the town."

Lowen shrugged and followed Jaffar as he walked down the mountain path into the deeper parts of the mysterious mountain town.

The two walked in silence until they reached a discernable fork in the road. Lowen once again looked to Jaffar.

"Which way?"

Jaffar looked down both paths. Neither direction seemed special in any way. Jaffar was about to suggest the two of them split up when something caught the corner of his eye. Down the left fork, a strange aura was emanating from a dark area quite a distance from the fork. Letting curiosity get the best of him, Jaffar grunted and pointed down the left Path.

The two continued along the path, staring forward into the darkness. Every now and then, a blue flash would light up the sky before dying away into darkness again. For what seemed like several hours, the blue flashes never seemed to get any closer. Jaffar, though calm on the outside, was getting more and more irritated as time passed.

Finally, they hit something, or more or less something hit them. Jaffar and Lowen ran into a barrier and got blasted fifty feet back.

Jaffar groaned and picked himself up from the snow, thanking it silently for keeping his clothes from bursting into flames. He walked back to the barrier, now shimmering with energy.

Just when Jaffar was contemplating on throwing a large rock at the barrier, a bright circle appeared in front of him materializing two people. Jaffar recognized the shorter of the two immediately.

"Jessica!"

The tactician looked at the assassin. "Okay, I'm not that ugly." She smirked. "What are you and that lump behind you doing here?"

Jaffar turned around and saw Lowen still groaning in the ground. Sighing, he moved over, prodded him with his boot before picking him up.

"I noticed that my bunk-buddy was missing… I'm just here to make sure he's not raising an army of dwarfs to come and kill me." Jaffar said after he had turned back around.

"You are the only person on this planet who can say that with a straight face." Jessica smiled.

"What? It's true."

Jessica scanned the young man's face, and found that indeed, there was no trace of humor in his hardened features whatsoever.

"You my friend." Jessica said. "Need to go out, get in a party, get drunk, and get laid."

"No I don't" Jaffar said completely missing the point. "Now let us pass this barrier… and who's that guy with you?"

Clive stood back with a smirk until the strange man finally noticed him.

"Err, name's Clive. As for the barrier… well, uhm, lemme just teleport you in."

Jaffar looked confused. "Okay… what's going on here?"

"We'll tell you everything once we get back." Clive said holding out his staff. Magic circles began to materialize beneath everyone's feet.

"Whoa…back where? What's happening? Can someone tell me what's going on!" Lowen shrieked, flailing his arms around.

"Like I said…when we get back." Clive said calmly. "PORTUS!"

Lowen's flailing body was the first one to disappear followed by Jessica. Moments later, Jaffar began to feel light headed, sleepy. Clive's smirk was the last thing he saw before a loud bang blasted through his ears and he hit the ground with a mouthful of snow.

Muttering various silent obscenities, Jaffar picked himself up from the ground and looked around. Jessica was standing serenely on the ground laughing at Lowen who had his head stuck in a mound of snow.

Jaffar sighed again and went over to pull Lowen's head out of the snow. After a while of hard tugging, Lowen's head was finally free. The paladin took a few quick gulps of air and then quickly looked around to find the man responsible for his bad teleporting experience.

Suddenly, Clive appeared in the air out of nowhere and landed on top of Lowen with a heavy thud. Both men tumbled to the ground, with Lowen once again half buried in the snow. Clive gave everyone a sheepish grin.

"Whoops."

Clive quickly dusted himself off and pulled the now reddening Lowen out of the snow again.

"Okay…" Jaffar said trying to keep Lowen from committing any murders. "Now that we're here, can somebody tell us what's going on?"

"You want the long version or the short version?" Clide asked.

"Long version."

"Well… basically, there's a prophecy." Clide said.

"And that prophecy says that…" Clive continued.

"A chosen one must kill a descendent of fate or else the world explodes." Kevin finished.

"So basically…"

"Matthew's the chosen one…"

"Samantha's the descendent of fate…"

"And Matthew must kill her…"

"By a potion that a goddess gave him…"

"Or else the twins here…"

"Will become clouds of doom…"

"and destroy the world."

Jaffar's head was now spinning from both the shocking information and having to rotate and face three different people while they talked.

"…That made no sense…what's the short version?"

"Basically." Jessica said shortly snarling at the triplet of terror, or so she called them. "Matthew either kills Samantha or Clide and Clive here destroys the world."

"Wow…" Jaffar said. "That sucks. How long does Matthew have."

"Well…" Kevin said looking down at a wrist chronometer he had. "According to this…he has around…ten minutes, give or take a minute or two."

"Yano…" Clide said looking back at the mansion. "If Irene comes back and tells us that Sammy was pregnant when she died… I'm going to personally castrate Matthew."

Everyone tossed a snowball at him for his bad joke.

---

Matthew held Samantha tightly as the last drops of liquid dripped into her throat. Apprehensive moments passed as the couple huddled together, holding each other, needing no words to express their feelings at their last moments together.

Soon, seconds turned into minutes and Matthew looked up confused.

"Uh… something isn't right."

Samantha looked up confused, and then suddenly she realized it too.

"Right… aren't I supposed to be…well, you know…dead?"

Matthew nodded grimly. He glanced at a wrist chronometer. "Ten minutes until sun up. You think maybe they misread the prophecy?"

Samantha shrugged, but was thrown against Matthew as a loud explosion ran out from behind her. Looking back, she saw Irene standing there.

"Yeah… we all wish Matthew." Irene said sadly. "You drank it…"

Samantha nodded.

"Well…it's time…" Irene said. "Uhh…I'll leave you two alone for… two minutes. No more."

Samantha nodded and turned to Matthew.

"Sam… uhh, I know we've only known each other for two days. But well… you saved me from getting executed at court, and well… I think you're… a …really..great…uhmmm person."

Irene rolled her eyes. 'Pathetic.' She glanced back to see the girl smile and hug the teary thief.

"Don't forget me…" She whispered before pulling away and walking to Irene, not looking back."

Irene looked at her. "You ready?"

Samantha nodded.

Irene grimly pulled out an ornate staff topped with a phoenix. Walking swiftly around Samantha, she drew a simple magic circle.

"I promise it won't hurt." Irene said. "Stur- I mean death will meet you once you… go. If he's not there, talk to a woman named Demitra Lark."

"Wait…there is an afterlife?" Samantha asked.

"Of course silly." Irene forced a smile. "Come now…let's sing."

Irene opened her mouth and a beautiful melody filled the room. Samantha looked down and saw the magic circle react, glowing a deep blood red. The symbols for life, rebirth and death appeared around the circle and began rotating. Samantha's head began to spin. Oddly she felt no pain. It was just like going to sleep. Only this time she knew she won't wake up in the same place.

---

Clive had first heard Jessica scream. When he turned back to look at the cause of her outburst, it was too late. A beam of pure energy hit him straight in the chest, blasting him five yards backwards into the trunk of a tree. A few yards behind him, he heard his twin grunt as he slammed into the ground. As Clive picked himself up from the ground rubbed his head. He felt a little bit of blood and quickly ripped some material from the sleeve of his robe to stem the flow.

He waited for Clide to pick himself up and hobble over.

"…It's over is it?"

Clive nodded. They hobbled over to where the rest of the group was staring at them in shock.

"He did it…" Clide said.

"So…does that mean the priestess is…" Lowen left the end unfinished.

"Dead… yes."

The twins nodded sadly and turned to face the temple just as the first of the sun's rays hit them from behind.

Moments later, a magic circle appeared and Matthew materialized, carrying a limp body. Kevin quickly ran over and took Samantha's limp body from the thief, who quickly collapsed into spasms of tears. The twins watched as Jessica and the two newcomers ran over to comfort him before going over to Kevin. Both took off their outer cloaks and wrapped the girl's body in them.

"She's really gone huh?" Clive said after a while.

"Yeah…it's over." Kevin said. "She looks so peaceful in death though."

Clide smiled. "Unfortunately…it's not over."

His twin looked at him confused.

"They say it's hard to see someone die." Clide explained. "But what they don't tell you is that it's even harder to face that person's family and friends."

Apprehension dawned on Clive and Kevin's faces as they realized in an hour or two, they would have to tell the entire town someone died, they would have to admit to keeping such a dark secret, and they would also have to face Brian's wrath.

Moments later, Jessica, Lowen, Jaffar and Matthew had joined the twins and the librarian in a circle around the dead girl. The looked down at her calm expression.

"What's going to happen now?" Jessica asked.

"Now…" Clide said. "We draw straws."

Everyone else looked confused.

"Whoever draws the short straw wins the privilege of breaking the news."

Everyone prayed they wouldn't be the one to draw the short straw.

---

Samantha looked around. Everything seemed bright and lovely. There were clouds everywhere. She took a tentative step forward and found the ground to be light and springy. She smiled; it wasn't going to be so bad after all. She just wished her brother did have to live to bury her physical body.

Samantha looked around, there was nobody resembling her vision of Death so she kept walking, hoping that she wouldn't get lost, but then again, it was just an endless expanse of whiteness in all directions.

After what seemed like hours of walking, which amazingly didn't tire her, Samantha reached a door. It was odd, just standing in the middle of nowhere. Letting curiosity get the better of her, she twisted the doorknob and stepped in. Once inside, she got quite a shock. On this side of the door, was a huge reception area. Several black clad figures were bustling around as various people stood in queues. There were several doors on the other side, three were marked "Authorized Personnel Only." The rest were marked in a cryptic language Samantha didn't understand.

Samantha looked around, everyone was wearing a dark hooded robe that covered any visible skin. Technically everyone could be death, but none of them carried the trademark scythe.

She finally approached one robed man tried to talk.

"Excuse me? Uhm I'm new here and I…"

The figure turned to her gave her the one over. Then he pointed her to a figure sitting in a prominent desk. Samantha thanked the robed man and headed towards the other robed person it had pointed her to.

"Excuse me…sir?" Samantha said softly as she approached the desk.

The figure looked up. "You call me 'sir' again and I'll have your head." A distinctly female voice came.

"Er… sorry about that ma'am. I'm just new here and I don't know what to do."

The robed figure sighed. "Name and origin?"

"Samantha Chow, Silent Springs Lycia, Precinct 2384."

The robed girl looked up. "Right… one second." She flipped through her notebook with superhuman speed before finding Samantha's name. Her body language changed after a while.

"Well well well, so the descendent of fate finally came eh? I was wondering when you would show up." She said.

"You know me?"

"Do I know you! I registered your great nanny Victoria when she came."

"Oh…" Samantha said. She stayed silent. The robed woman continued to make notes on her records and finally looked up.

"Okay… name's Demitra. I've been the secretary here since I died like…I forget how long ago. Anyways, Sturm, Grim Reaper or Death to you, will be here any moment. Save your questions for him when he gets here. As for now, I am going to ask you not to freak out."

Samantha looked confused. "Why?"

"Just don't freak out okay? I 'm going to pull back my hood."

Samantha nodded as Demitra waved her hands and summoned walls to encase them. The hooded woman the brought her sleeve covered hands to her hood and pulled it down. It was all Samantha could do to keep from screaming at the sight of the half deteriorated skull that stood in place of Demitra's head.

"Shocking isn't it?" Demitra asked. "This is how everyone here in a black robe looks like, so don't go bugging them. Because you're a special case, we need to be around you more, so we might let our hoods down more often. However… seeing as we don't want to destroy your sanity, I and most of my other helpers will be using our magic to make our outer appearance how it was right before we died. Do not expect however Sturm to do the same."

Samantha nodded. Demitra's body glowed and skin started regenerating on her skull. Soon, a pretty girl no older than Samantha herself stood where the skeleton once stood.

"Right, this is how I looked before I died." Demitra said. "Anyway, Sturm will be back… in right about…now."

Suddenly, a loud crack rang out and taller robed figure stood there. He held a sick looking scythe and had a ball of fire floating around his head.

"Hello there, you must be Samantha. I'm surprised darling Demitra here hasn't scared you into insanity yet."

The newcomer turned towards Demitra and flinched noticeably. "You should stay that way Demitra, much more attractive.

Demitra scowled. "Stuff it up your rear end Sturm, I'm not here to make small talk. Victoria's Great great etc granddaughter is here."

Sturm looked at Samantha. "Thought she looked familiar. Well come now, you must have many questions. Demitra, hold down the fort for me?"

"Up yours Sturm, get one of your lackeys to do it, I'm coming with the poor girl."

The Grim Reaper flinched again. "Showing favoritism, is the great Demitra Lark going soft on dead people now?"

"No, I just don't trust you alone with a poor innocent little girl." Demitra said. "Now get going, or do I have to take that scythe from you?"

Death shrugged his robed shoulders. "Whatever. Anyways, come Samantha, we have important matters to discuss."

Samantha nodded and followed Sturm, glancing around at the people lined up and waiting in lines.

"Are they all dead?" She asked.

Sturm nodded. "No duh?"

"Then…why do I get to cut in front of them?"

"That is because you my dear are not dead."

Samantha nearly fainted. She would've fallen over if Demitra hadn't grabbed onto the top of her dress.

"But the prophe-"

"Yes…the lovely prophecy." Sturm growled. "Care to enlighten our lovely guest here?"

"Flattery will get you nowhere you bag of bones." Demitra scowled. She kept her pace up with Samantha and turned towards her slightly.

"Anyways, the thing is, that prophecy is so misread. The original one stated that you were supposed to find your true love who is supposedly lost and confused in the world. Then your love will break the curse. Somehow, the two morons I've left to guard the prophecy let it change over time."

"Wait…you were the one who appeared to Clide and Clive and not Irene?"

"No, it wasn't Irene…" Demitra mumbled something that Samantha would swear sounded like a derogatory term for a female canine. "I left the prophecy because I was getting absolutely sick of all the bloody paper work I had to do because someone was always getting killed in these petty squabbles."

Samantha just nodded.

"Anyways, prophecies can't fully change, but they must follow the premise. In Elibe, you're effectively dead. However, you are in the rare state we like to call "near death situation." Meaning you get stabbed up here, you're still technically alive in my books."

"…Does that mean I can go back?"

Demitra nodded. "Only if the dimwits on earth find the right spell. And lord knows it's right in the restricted section of the Silent Springs Archive. However, for now, Sturm needs you to be safeguarded. He has atrusted a few people to see to your safety. One man in the waiting room, Jeramiah I think was his name. He was the one who died after he kidnapped you. Apparently still holds a grudge. Our job is to keep you safe until the morons down there find a cure."

Samantha nodded. "Who's gonna look after me?"

Sturm stepped in. "Ahh, I can answer that. Samantha, meet Elimine, Roland and Athos."

Samantha turned around and found herself face to face with three of the heroes from the scouring.

Elimine immediately squealed.

"She's so cute Sturm! You didn't tell me she was so cute!"

Demitra rolled her eyes. "This is why he didn't tell you." She muttered under her breath just loud enough for Sturm to hear. He gave her a warning look.

"Right Elimine." Roland said quickly prying the priestess off the girl. "She still needs to breathe. Not dead yet remember?"

"Oh..right…sorry!" Elimine apologized.

Athos smiled and laughed. "Oh so full of youth. Come now, let us go."

The three heroes surrounded Samantha and began to walk off with her. Just before they left, Death looked up again.

"Don't forget, Second Death's Protocol 395."

Roland looked back and nodded before leading Samantha off with Elimine and Athos again.

Demitra looked at Sturm.

"She gonna be alright?"

"Lord knows." Sturm said. He looked back and saw that Demitra turned back into a skeleton. "Hey, you looked hot with skin."

"Right, but that has nothing to do with you now does it?" She snapped. "And get back to work! I wasn't slaving over these peoples stupid paperwork for no reason. Hell, half these jerks are just like you, trying to get me to show my form before I died. At least these people don't try to get me out of my robe though."

Sturm looked up. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Shove it Sturm and drag your ass back to work. I don't want to have to fix any more of your bloody mistakes."

Demitra stalked off leaving a very irritated Grim Reaper.

"Sometimes I think I'm HER secretary. I swear…one of these days, she'll get a Meteor Strike right up her arse."

Shaking his head, Death grabbed his scythe and looked at his list.

"Wow… Silent Springs again… I wonder who this time. Man, I love that town. Only place that overworks Demitra and fills my quota at the same time." With that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke

Charlie: Five cookies to the one who correctly guesses who dies next.

* * *

Yes, I am indeed evil, so Sammy isn't dead. And she gets to hang out with Roland and Elimine. (I honesty don't know these people's personalities, but seriously, I didn't want to make them the generic every day noble hero types. They need their own quirks.) 

That said, I'm to tired to do responses, however, as soon as I stop being lazy, I will continue regardless of the ambiguous rules of love you guys all, sorry to my reviewers for neglecting you guys so much.

Oh and by the way, nobody guessed the Lavender Breeze correlation.

Well, until next time. And no, Demitra hates Sturm, don't give me bad images.


	26. Honor, Glory, But No Republic

Charlie: Hello. Okay, anyways, last few chapters have been a bit sad. But now, we're back to insaneness. This is a very action filled chapter, especially at the end.

Oh and just to let you know, you're ALL wrong, nobody managed to guess who dies. (And trust me, I'm gonna make the death silly.) I think the title should give you a clue as to who dies.

As for the Athos thing, yeah, I know he's alive. He's there for a reason. Eh, just keep reading. I'm just making light of death. It's a tragic thing, yes, but it's also a part of life. So it shouldn't be such a dark, ominous thing.

Again, the dead person isn't effectively out of the fic. Although this person will be dead unlike Samantha, he/she is still in the fic.

Anyways, on with the show. By the way, we're only at day 4. We have 10 more days to cover. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm taking multiple chapters to set things up since we have a long ways to go. One thing about reading this is you have to be patient. I have a general outline planned out, so please don't tell me how I should write my story. I know some of you are anxious to see certain things, but I really can't just throw away half a dozen chapters worth of planning just to get it to you faster. So this is just imploring you to be patient. Thanks.

By the way, in say a month or two, I have a weird idea for a Halo fic in case anybody likes Halo. Keep an eye out for that.

* * *

For Honor, For Glory, But There's No Republic

On the snow-capped roof of the Silent Spring's inn, the glowing mark of death appeared, before the black robed Grim Reaper himself appeared. Sturm looked over the snowy expanse, glancing left at the hidden village within the mountains and then right at the path towards lower and warmer land. At the bottom of the mountain, a mass caught his vision. A mass of people was gathered, swords, lances and axes were sharpened and bowstrings were tested.

Sturm smiled. It was going to be quite a ride. He looked again at the snow-capped mountain and decided to put away his fires. If he were to cause an avalanche, everyone would die, and his bones would be sent a thousand different directions. Sturm shuddered at the sight of a raging Demitra after reassembling him. Taking out his trademark scythe, Sturm conjured up an easy chair and sat down. Snapping his bony fingers, a martini glass suddenly appeared in the air. Strum sat back and sipped his drink, waiting for the inevitable.

'Oh yeah…' He thought smiling. 'Death is certainly good.'

---

"STURM! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" A shrill voice rang through the reception room in heaven.

The dead souls waiting their judgment jumped as they watched the black clad secretary literally burn a huge stack of papers that stood on her desk, only to have another stack magically reappear. Demitra sighed, knowing that the paperwork would not go away. Scowling, she drew a nasty looking scythe and carved a magic circle into the clouds. Moments later, a second black clad figure appeared.

"You, sit here, and fill these out." Demitra said. "I'm going on break."

The newcomer nodded silently, sat down and began scratching away at the mountain of forms in front of him. Demitra sighed and stalked off, thinking that a break would do her wonders now. As she walked, dead souls quickly moved out of her path, not wanting to get in the way of her and her big scythe.

---

Kevin sighed as he, the twins and Jessica slumped into the snow. Samantha's body was becoming a dead weight, and Matthew's fainting did nothing to help them get back to the main part of the town. To make matters worse, it had begun to snow. Jessica sighed as she laid down in the snow and began making a snow angel. She looked up to see Lowen and Jaffar standing over her with a curious expression.

"Something funny gentlemen?" Jessica said in a dangerously sweet voice.

"Kinda." Lowen said. "I think we just noticed you're only sixteen years old."

"That a problem?" Jessica snapped. "Last time I checked, you two aren't much older than I am."

"Not really." Jaffar shrugged. "We're just to used to the screaming and yelling you."

"Yeah, not the 'lie in the snow and make snow angels like a little girl' you." Lowen finished with a straight face.

"Stuff it." The tactician growled before turning over in the snow and glancing over at Matthew and Samantha.

"She almost looks alive."

Jaffar smiled and nodded. "She does."

"Somebody call the record books."

Everyone turned over to see Matthew sitting up and smiling. "What?"

"We thought you might've died from heartbreak." Kevin said smirking.

"I'm not that weak."

"So, what's this about calling the record books?" Jessica asked.

"Jaffar just smiled."

Lowen and Jessica froze and looked up at the usually solemn assassin with expressions akin to the face of a goldfish.

"I…you…smile…what?"

Jaffar's trademark scowl returned. "Right, don't get used to that."

Kevin and the twins watched the exchange with some amusement. Kevin glanced over at Samantha again. It was true, she did look alive, her redden cheeks, her creamy skin, her rising chest… wait… rising chest!

Kevin dropped his staff and ran over to Samantha, causing heads to turn in his direction curiously.

"Uhm… Kev, it isn't like you to desecrate a dead body." Clide said softly.

Kevin glared at Clide before turning back to Samantha and putting his fingers on her neck.

"Yes Kevin, she is dead. D. E. A. D. DEAD." Clive said looking at Kevin as if he just turned insane.

Lowen and Jaffar walked up to Kevin and pulled him away from Samantha's body with difficulty. "Come on, she's dead, no need to rub it in."

"She's breathing."

Lowen and Jaffar faltered momentarily before dragging Kevin again bodily away from the body. "It ain't April Fools Day for a while now Kev."

"I'm serious, look at her chest."

Clide and Clive smirked. "Didn't know you were such a perv Kevin."

Kevin lost his temper. In a flurry of motions and a loud bang, Lowen and Jaffar were blown ten feet away from the druid whose hands were now crackling with dark energy.

"She is bloody breathing! Look at her bloody chest! It's bloody rising! For bloody Gods sake LISTEN to me!" He screamed.

Clide and Clive immediately brought their staffs to bear on the maddening druid.

"Look Kevin, as much as we like to believe that she's alive, it's clear in the prophecy that she dies when she lifts the curse! So don't try to play dumb."

Kevin threw up his hands in exasperation and walked up to Clide. Before the man could react, Kevin had snapped his staff in half and held his head in a vise grip, forcing his eyes onto Samantha's rising chest.

"LOOK! HER CHEST IS MOVING! LAST TIME I CHECKED DEAD PEOPLE DON'T HAVE MOVING CHEST! GOOD LORD YOU GUYS ARE RETARDED!"

Clide stared, unbelieving.

"Holy…crap…"

Clive rolled his eyes. "Oh please tell me you aren't believing this nonsense now brother."

"As much as I fear for my sanity, or whatever's left of it, I must say, her chest is indeed moving."

Clive threw his arms up. "You guys are bloody insane!" He turned his head. "There is no possible way that her chest can be-"

He stopped short as he saw the rhythmic rising and falling of Samantha's chest.

"Bloody hell."

Jessica and Matthew who had just pulled Jaffar and Lowen from the snow after being so forcefully blasted away, now hobbled over, each supporting a dazed man.

"Something happen?" Jessica asked curiously at the three men whose jaws were now threatening to detach from the rest of their faces.

Finding himself at a loss for words, Clive just pointed dumbly at Samantha's body, causing Jessica to roll her eyes.

"Look, this joke is getting old an-"

Clive had grabbed her head and forced her to look. She immediately dropped Lowen like a dead weight causing the Paladin to hit the ground with an almighty thud.

"Does that mean…"

Clive nodded. "She's alive. Or… sorta alive."

"What does that mean?" Matthew asked.

"I don't know what she is until I run a few spells over her." Clive said. "Come on, let's get her back into the library."

"Kevin and Clide snapped out of their stupor and nodded dumbly. Together, the three druids lifted Samantha's body gently and slowly carried her back the way they came from with Matthew and Jaffar following behind. Jessica turned to pick Lowen back up from the ground. After apologizing profusely, the tactician and the paladin too headed back towards the ominous building known as the Silent Springs library.

---

Charlie woke up with a note stuck to his head and a weight on his stomach. Frowning, he pulled off the note and fought down a scream as several hairs were pulled out as well. He turned the note over and read the messily scrawled words.

Look after Nino for a bit… 

Charlie looked down to see a green haired girl sleeping on his stomach and guessed she was Nino. Groaning, he carefully lifted Nino's head and moved her over so she was now sleeping on Lugia's stomach. Charlie smirked, after he saw Lugia's head resting on Alan's stomach. When his friend woke up, he'd be in for a nice surprise.

Picking himself up from the ground, he folded his shaman robes over and stashed it in a cupboard under the counter where bottles of clear liquid marked with toxic symbols stood. Charlie moved the bottles into the sunlight before getting out another pot and adding various shimmering liquids into it. He set the pot on a fire and let it simmer. Turning around he gathered around forty shot glasses and lined them on the counter. He checked the pot, poking it with a wooden spoon until he finally gave a satisfied grunt. Turning off the boiler, he ladled a bit of the shimmering blue liquid into each shot glass and put them on a tray.

After making sure that all forty plus glasses of the liquid weren't going to fall off, Charlie turned around and walked to a lounge table with a worn out bag he pulled from the bottom of his counter. Sitting down, the innkeeper took out a piece of parchment and a quill and began to scribble furiously. Outside, the sun had completely risen now and shined at an angle, launching rays of bright sunlight through the window. Charlie continued working.

"What is this? Charlie actually doing his homework?"

Charlie jumped out of his chair and collapsed at a heap near a pair of feet. He looked up and saw Dias and Sonia smirking at him. Charlie scowled and stood up, collecting his papers.

"Yes, I'm actually doing my homework. Apparently Old man Glenn wrote my mother. She sent me a nice love letter last night." Charlie grumbled.

Sonia and Dias chuckled. Charlie's mother was quite an outgoing person, and rather loud as well. Unfortunately, due to her acute scoliosis, Silent Springs became to harsh for her to live in during the winters, so she and Charlie's father lived in a town a few miles East of the mountain range. They visited frequently during the spring and fall seasons however, and were generally well loved.

"Your poor mother." Lulu smirked as she and Fae came up. "I bet old Glenn's horror stories nearly burst her coronary."

Charlie shook his head and sat back down. He stowed his quill and his papers. "Whatever. By the way, the Winter Ball's in three days, anybody want to help with operation GAAKTFTB?"

"The fact that you can pronounce that piece of unholyness surprises me." Sonia muttered.

Dias said. "And no, operation GAAKTFTB will never work. It hasn't worked before, and it won't work now."

Just then, Kate and Kiyoko came up.

"What's up?" Kate asked sleepily.

"Charlie wants help with operation GAAKTFTB." Sonia said calmly.

Kiyoko looked confused while Kate nearly choked on her own saliva laughing. "Didn't that end up with you almost getting castrated last year Charlie?"

"Don't remind me." Charlie grumbled.

"What's operation GAAKTFTB?" Kiyoko asked.

"Am I the only one who can't pronounce that unholy word?" Sonia asked irritably.

Dias gave Sonia a sympathetic hug.

"Okay, no PDA please." Charlie grumbled. "Come on! Please! Old Georgie-poo is in it for me this year."

"I dunno Charlie." Dias smirked, obviously knowing what his colleague has planned. "You might look stunning in lace."

"Whether or not I do is besides the point." Charlie said. "Come on! I need help."

"I'm confuzzled." Kiyoko said pouting. Dias shot Charlie a warning look and the innkeeper shut up.

"Whatever." Sonia said. "We'll talk about this later."

Suddenly, a loud thud caught everyone's attention. Everyone turned to see Lugia and Nino standing over a rather pained Alan, who was holding his cheek.

"Dear lord girl." Alan groaned. "Not the best way to wake up in the morning."

"What'd you do to him!" Kiyoko asked curiously.

"He was! He was touching my hair!" Lugia stammered.

"That's usually what happens when you decide to use his stomach for a pillow." Charlie said calmly. Lugia flushed slightly before clearing her throat. She walked over and helped Alan up.

"Well… guess sorry for that."

Alan smiled sheepishly at her. "Eh, no hard feelings."

"Okay, now that that's settled." Lulu said rolling her eye. "What's with the girl?"

"What girl?" Lugia asked.

"The one hiding behind your back." Sonia said calmly.

"OH!" Lugia moved out of the way. "I dunno, she was sleeping on my stomach."

"That's Nino." Charlie said. "She's with Jessica and the others. I suppose we'll just look after her for now."

"Eh, whatever." Lulu said. "I'm getting some breakfast. You've got fruit Charlie?"

Charlie nodded as the entire group went into the kitchens to get breakfast ready for themselves and forty plus other people.

They went around, bringing out trays of fruits, cereals, eggs, bacon, sausages, and just about every thing in between. Charlie directed every plate of food to a long table before putting his tray of blue drinks along with the food as well.

"The hell is that?" Sonia asked as they finished bring out the food and were serving themselves.

"Hangover cure." Charlie said. "Not sure if it works, but just a recipe mom gave me last night. Apparently Glenn told her about the trial as well."

Charlie sighed as he sat down at a table. Kiyoko and Alan as usual came over to join him soon followed by Sonia and Dias.

"You miss your mom don't you?" Kiyoko asked.

"Eh, it's been three months since I saw her." Charlie said. "Oh well, I shouldn't complain. I at least have parents."

For once, Kiyoko looked somewhat sad and stayed silent. Sonia glared at Charlie with a murderous look.

The group ate in silence. Soon, some of the hung over guests began to file downstairs. Charlie pointed wordlessly to the blue drinks in the shot glasses with the big sign reading "Hangover cure" hanging over them. Everyone got the point and took a glass with their meal. When he finished with his breakfast, Charlie looked around the room.

"Dear Elimine, only like ten of them are down." He muttered. "Looks like the rest of them are still out cold."

He sighed, looking back at the still dejected Kiyoko and the now scowling Kate and Sonia, wondering why he brought up the sensitive issue of parents. Deciding that he needed a crisp walk in the snow, he dumped his plates in the sink and walked out into the crisp morning air after pulling on a pair of worn brown boots.

He let the snow crunch under his boots and pulled his coat on tighter to fight against the biting cold. Even with the sun out, the air around Silent Springs was still biting. He sighed again and walked into the courtyard. He knew that Sonia was probably telling everyone how insensitive he was and it won't be long before letters are sent to his mother. Vivian Wu loved Kiyoko as if she was her own daughter. Charlie knew that if his mother found out he were being a prick, she would personally march up the mountain to dip his rear end into a pot of boiling acid.

The thought of dear old Vivian marching up the mountain with a pot of Hydrofluoric acid made Charlie shiver in spite of himself. He snapped out of his trance to see that his thoughts about his mother brought him to the edge of the cliff. He looked over and smiled. The sparkling view of the mountainside and the valley had always calmed him. The lush green trees so far away, the clear blue skies, and the swarm of people gathering at the base of the mountains.

Suddenly, Charlie noticed a hitch with his train of thought. He looked down and saw an army armed with swords, lances, axes, bows, catapults, and ballistae. Charlie squinted and looked harder at the figure in front. It was definitely feminine.

"…Oh you've gotta be kidding me." Charlie groaned before he tore back towards the inn. He began calculating in his head. With only 10 people sober, and around 10 of his friends up and moving, it could get ugly really soon. Thinking back to the army in at the base of the mountains, Charlie gave himself no more than two hours before that force got high enough to deploy. If he assumed correctly, the catapults and ballistae would attack first and then the soldiers would do mop up. Thinking quickly, he ran into the inn, he needed everyone in order for the town to survive. Kitty wanted a war, and he won't go down without a fight, especially not with the town elder drunk in his bed.

Lyn sat with Fiora and Farina in the inn spooning cereal unsuccessfully into her mouth. The sisters across from her weren't doing much better with their toast. Farina looked like she was buttering her hand while Fiora kept missing her eggs with her fork. Lyn sighed, even with the hangover cure, her responses were still fogged. To make matters worse, it seems as if she was in the twilight zone. Or somewhat. Everything was slow, and even more surprisingly, the hyper girl named Kiyoko who had been so enthusiastic at the trial now looked on the verge of tears. All the other Silent Springs residents were either comforting her or just as dead as she was.

Lyn shook her head and tried to get another bite of cereal that slipped out of her spoon again. At the next table, Heath, Hector and Eliwood were all lazily chewing on some sausages. They were, if possible, even more lethargic than she was. She looked down the tables and saw Sain sitting with Kent, Marcus and Dart. They all seemed dead. Even Raven, Priscilla and Karel looked hung over. Lyn sighed and reached for a cup of her orange juice as she surveyed the sad sight. And this was just the dozen or so people who even made it down stairs. Everyone else was still asleep.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changed. In one loud bang, the front door was nearly blown of its hinges as the innkeeper with his eyes blazing ran inside. He quickly sprinted over to where his friends were and whispered urgently to them, which woke them up instantly. They spoke silently to each other for a while more before the entire group scattered. Most of them ran into a side room, a few of them however ran towards the guests.

Lyn was still in a stupor when she stumbled into the ballroom that Kiyoko had asked her to go to. Behind her, she can tell her comrades were equally confused. Once they walked in however, the tense atmosphere seemed to waken her. She took a seat at a table and waited for everyone to settle in. Once everything was quiet, Charlie stepped in front of everyone.

"Okay…" the innkeeper began. "I've got some bad news. I'm sorry I have to do this to you, especially on your vacation, but I really need your help. At the base of the mountain, a gang of bandits is building basically an army to siege us. Now, these bandits are different. They have catapults and ballistae to take us out the entire town before they mop up. Most of the town is pretty much asleep right now, so I'm pretty much begging for your help. I don't want to go down without a fight."

Hector was the first to speak up. "Alright, we're always willing to help. You've given us warm hospitality, so the least we can do is protect you."

Charlie nodded. "Only problem, I have no idea what to do… We've got two hours until they get their catapults in range. So I suggest we start thinking fast."

Ten minutes later, Lyn suddenly jumped up, her eyes gleaming.

"I've got an idea."

Every eye turned to look at her. Lyn flushed a bit and couldn't find her voice.

"Spit it out Lyn." Hector said.

"Oh…right. I was just thinking, we've got enough stuff between the inn and the restaurant and the store to basically build long-range explosive weapons. It'll just be like building a bigger mine. We'll just fling it at the catapults and take out as many ground troops as possible. And once that's done, when they get to the town, we can trap them, use oil, gas, all kinds of nasty stuff like that to beat them."

"So… guerilla warfare?" Sonia asked.

"More or less." Lyn said.

"It might work." Charlie said. "And we don't have much of a choice. So come on, I need strong guys to get lumber from the cellar, we can build a makeshift catapult. Everyone else go rummage anything explosive, dangerous and possibly deadly from the kitchens and the store. We've got two hours! Come on!"

The entire room burst into activity as people swarmed into groups. Over two hours, oil was boiled, acid was brewed, mysterious potions were concocted, and trip lines were strung throughout the town. Kiyoko delivered the message to hung over villagers who were stopped from helping by the young girl after she saw that they couldn't even walk straight. After telling them that their lack of coordination might trip some booby traps, they conceded to stay back and defend their families and friends in case the bandits got through.

Hector, Eliwood, Sain and Marcus helped Alan and Charlie build a makeshift catapult. Large cans of half full of oil were set aside and one was loaded onto the catapult. The cans had rags sticking out of them acting as fuses. Soon, the entire village was booby-trapped. The meager force of defenders was spread throughout, manning manual traps. Sonia and Alan built a mini snipers nest on the roof of the inn. Everyone watched apprehensively as the enemy slowly ascended the mountain.

Charlie and Hector were manning the catapult. Because they had the higher ground, they had the advantage in terms of range. However, they had one catapult and 10 barrels of ammo to the enemies' four and two ballistae. Sain and Marcus stood back ready to reload the catapult as soon as it fired.

As the waited for the enemy to get in range, Sonia did some quick trigonometry and called down to Charlie.

"YO! You've got five hundred feet on their weapons considering they need that flat area in order to deploy. Plus their weapons are stripped. But given the worst-case scenario, you have around three minutes to reload in between."

Charlie shouted his acknowledgment and stared intently at the army charging up the mountain. He saw a red colored arrow fly from the roof of the inn and embed itself halfway between the advancing army and the plateau that Sonia had pointed out.

"THAT'S YOUR APPROXMATE RANGE!" Sonia shouted.

Everyone waited, hearts pounding. Then, the first catapult crossed the mark. Hector watched it's movement and it's speed.

"30 degrees down and 10 degrees to your left!" He yelled.

Charlie complied as he made adjustments. Hector held his breath. "PULL!"

Taking his sword, he slashed knot holding the catapult down as ten gallons of flammable oil into the advancing army. A fire arrow from Sonia set lighted the fuse before embedding itself into the chest of an advancing foot soldier. The barrel flew towards its target and exploded two feet to the left of the catapult, effectively setting it on fire.

Hector whooped with delight as Charlie and Marcus struggled to pull the catapult back into firing position. Charlie tied the knot again and helped Sain and Marcus haul another barrel into place. Fae ran over from her hiding spot with a torch and several pieces of wood. She built a small fire for them to use in lighting the fuse before running back to her post.

Charlie once again looked to Hector. With Sonia spotting for him, Hector tracked the second catapult, now having to take a detour around the flaming wreckage of the first catapult. The archers below sensing resistance began firing up the mountain. Unfortunately, the positions kept their arrows from coming close. Sonia and Alan responded with a more effective volley. With the mass of soldiers being so thick below them, they didn't have to aim as they felled one soldier after another.

Twenty arrows later, twenty soldiers lay dead in the snow. Sturm, who had long abandoned his seat at the top of the inn now floated above the advancing army, invisible to mortal eyes. As a bandit fell, he swooped down and extracted the soul from the body, guiding it to Demitra. He smirked. Honestly, he loved Silent Springs; this town filled his quota like no others.

Hector spotted the second catapult and waited for it to come in range. More arrows flew from Sonia and Alan as the first wave of bandits got in their range. Hector tracked the second catapult.

"30 degrees to the left!" He barked as Charlie quickly turned the catapult roughly thirty degrees left. Hector held his breath. "PULL!"

The second barrel was lit and launched. It flew wide right of the catapult and exploded, killing ten bandits in an instant and burning two more out of commission. The catapult got by without damage. Hector winced.

"TEN DEGREES LEFT AND FIVE DEGREES UP!" he barked again.

Charlie made the adjustment while Marcus and Sain struggled to load the catapult. As soon as they loaded it, Hector's command came through. Without waiting for Charlie, Sain lit the fuse and cut the knot.

The barrel flew true and hit the opposing catapult straight on, reducing it to a pile of splinters and killing five bandits around it. Hector smiled. Two down, four more to go.

Kitty watched in horror as a never-ending stream of arrow fire cut down her first rank. To make matters worse, the enemy was hurling balls of fire from the mountain. Two of her catapults were down along with nearly sixty of her men.

"DON'T FORGET! HONOR! GLORY! THE REPUBLIC! CHARGE AND BRING DOWN THE INFIDELS!" She screamed at her troops. They redoubled their attempts. Kitty knew however, that she had been lucky. One ball of fire into the thick of her ranks and her entire force would be reduced heavily. She cursed the narrow mountain path up, and she cursed the fact that her catapults and ballistae were being blocked by the flaming wreckages of their destroyed counterparts.

"They will pay…" Kitty growled. What she didn't know was that she was up against three Lycian nobles.

Hector tracked the third catapult without a spotter. Sonia and Alan were too busy cutting down the front ranks. Scores of bandits fell under a perpetual onslaught of arrows. Hector marveled at their speed, 20 arrows per minute, an arrow every three seconds. Most of them hit their marks as bodies piled high. He watched as the surviving troops who reached the plateau took cover behind tall rocks. Hector waited for the third and fourth catapult.

The last to catapults were very far apart in latitude yet not so far apart in terms of longitude. Hector cursed his luck. He marked the fourth catapult, which was closer to the flaming wreckage of the second one. He knew that he would be cutting it close with the third one, but he had to take the risk.

"Ten degrees to the left." Hector said tentatively as Sain and Charlie turned the catapult. He bit his lip.

"PULL!" He barked. The can overshot the catapult and smashed harmlessly into the rocks, wide of everything. Hector cursed.

"15 degrees down!" He barked. Charlie and Sain quickly reloaded as Marcus restrung the catapult and made the adjustments.

"PULL!" Hector barked.

This time, the barrel hit right in front of the fourth catapult, setting it up in flames and killing two bandits pulling it.

Hector immediately tracked the third catapult. He found it on the ledge being assembled. He had to hurry.

"SIXTY DEGREES TO THE RIGHT AND TWENTY DEGREES DOWN!" Hector screamed. This time he helped Charlie move the catapult while Sain and Marcus strung and loaded the catapult. Before they got there, a huge boulder shot up, landing five feet left of them.

"SONIA! AIM FOR THE OPERATORS OF THE CATAPULT!" Hector barked.

Sonia shifted her aim and picked off bandits crawling all over the catapult. She knew that she could only slow them down though. Looking back, she kept a count of her reserve arrows. She and Alan had took every single arrow in storage as well as her store, which amounted to a good five thousand arrows. She made a note to apologize to any archers in Lord Eliwood's army for taking their arrows, but she was sure that they would understand.

Hector pushed the catapult in position and pointed dumbly at the stringing knot. Charlie quickly slashed it and watched mutely as the barrel soared towards the third catapult. They watched in horror as the bandits got a stone in place and aimed. Right before they could fire, the barrel slammed into the catapult reducing it into a flaming wreckage. Hector whooped in joy as he scanned area. He noticed the ballistae retreating.

"Their big boys are backing down." He yelled out.

Charlie nodded. "Okay, set the catapult at the entrance with the barrels."

He turned towards the roof. "SONIA! KEEP AN EYE ON THE BANDITS! WHEN THE REACH THE ENTRANCE! GIVE A SHOUT!"

He then turned towards where Fae was hiding. "WHEN I GIVE THE SIGNAL, CAST FIRE ON THE CANASTERS! GOT IT?"

Fae shot some sparks in the air as an affirmative. Charlie quickly ran into the inn ad watched as Hector, Sain and Marcus dove into the hot springs entrance building. Charlie ran up to the roof where he found Kiyoko, Kate and Lyn a few feet behind the snipers.

"Okay… Sonia and Alan are spotting everything, so when they give us our cue, we let it rip."

Everyone nodded their affirmative. Charlie glanced over to a large mound of snow. It hid a huge log that would be an unpleasant surprise to the bandits.

Without the catapults slowing them down, the bandits swarmed the mountains. Alan and Sonia's arrow cache quickly dwindled from the thousands to the hundreds. By the time the bandits got up the cliff, all five thousand arrows were depleted. Charlie snuck a look and gaped at the mass of people still storming up the hill. He wondered how many bandits there were. Sonia and Alan quickly tossed away their bows and brought out long lenses. They were now officially spotting.

Soon, the first wave of bandits hit the top. Sonia gave Charlie the signal.

"NOW!" Charlie yelled.

From their hiding spot, Priscilla and Fae launched twin balls of searing hot fire that slammed into the unused oil canisters. The entire thing went up in flames as fire, burning oil and flaming splinters blasted into the advancing bandits. The entire front rank was obliterated.

"STATUS!" Charlie yelled.

Sonia took one glance. The entire top part of the mountains was covered in bodies that slowed down the advance of the last two ranks. Five thousand arrows and ten oil canisters later, they had only killed half the invading force. Sonia considered their numbers and found them acceptable.

"Half their force destroyed." Sonia said calmly. "Plus the entrance is now blocked by a flaming wreckage and a flowing river of flames."

Charlie whistled. "Pretty good for two hours of shabby work."

"I'm surprised that thing even works." Lyn whistled.

"Never question my engineering skills my dear." Charlie smirked as Kate and Kiyoko giggled and rolled their eyes. Charlie caught Kiyoko's eye with an apologetic expression. Kiyoko smiled and gave his shoulder a light squeeze. Apologies and forgiveness communicated in silence like real siblings. Charlie finally smiled and went back to watching the bandits advance.

Kitty watched her entire front and second rank die by an onslaught of arrows and a flowing river of fire. She swallowed hard. Urging her last two ranks forwards, she took the lead herself, making sure to successfully put out the fire first. Gathering snowballs, she began to toss them at the flames. Soon, her men got the point and began following suit.

When Kitty and her remaining 2000 men arrived at the top, the town was strangely deserted. It was quite…too quite, and Kitty knew it was a trap. The town square was only big enough to accommodate fifteen hundred men with sufficient elbowroom. Kitty decided to take it safe. She sent five hundred of her vanguard into the town square. They approached slowly, cautiously, unaware of the fifty remote mines buried under their feet.

Sonia waited for the five hundred goons to effectively spread out in the town square. Grabbing her bow again, she fired an orange colored marker into the ground in front of the inn. Kitty's men immediately turned to look at it.

Next to the inn, behind some particularly tall evergreens, Lulu and the two Pegasus sisters saw the marker. The smiled evilly and grabbed three lines, giving them a sharp tug.

With a earth shaking rumble, the ground under the bandits flipped as fifty mines tore the ground up. Five hundred shrieks filled the air as their legs were torn off, burned off or cleanly vaporized.

Kitty watched the gruesome spectacle before her, glad that she saw through the trap. She had five hundred more men advance forward, realizing that a quarter of her surviving troops were just taken out of commission.

Lulu and the Pegasus sisters darted into the alley between the inn and the restaurant and dashed into the back entrance of the inn. Inside, other people were starting to wake, wondering what was going on. Lulu and the two sisters stayed downstairs, explaining the situation, and urging everyone else to stay calm.

Charlie watched the next five hundred men waltz into the main street. Another twang of Sonia's bow and a red marker shot into the ground. Suddenly, from the restaurant and the hot springs, gallons after gallons of oil poured into the ground. The smell of petrol filled the air as Kitty's troops slipped on the slick substance. Another twang, and a blue marker appeared. Charlie looked down and saw Priscilla and Fae poke out from a third story window. Walls of ice immediately formed around the area soaked in gasoline. Charlie watched as realization dawned on the men trapped inside the ice walls. Sonia nodded to Lyn soon afterwards.

Lyn moved to the edge and drew her own personal bow. She with drew a single arrow and a flint. At the second strike of the flint, the arrow tip was set ablaze. Lyn stood back, less the fumes from the oil blow her up. She took a step back, aimed, and launched the arrow into the doomed area. Charlie could hear ice walls being cracked and reformed as a blazing inferno shot up between the four walls of Fimbulvetr glaciers, broiling anybody trapped within. Charlie could see Sonia and Alan wince as the watched the flames die down. He ventured a glance and nearly puked at the charred corpses.

Kitty was fuming by now. She sent the rest of her men into the town, ordering them to take down anything that moves and burn down anything that doesn't. Charlie waited for Sonia's signal. A twang, and a green marker shot out. He quickly helped Kate, Lyn and Kiyoko push a huge log off the roof, crashing down onto the unfortunate bandits below. He looked over and saw similar logs and boulders being pushed and rolled at the unfortunate bandits. The ice shields that Fae and Priscilla put up were kept in place except for the two that blocked the entrances to the main street.

After the last cries of pain had died down, Charlie looked down to see how many survivors there were. He rejoiced seeing only Kitty and around eight hundred of her men left.

He knew that there was only one last trap before they had to take the battle down close and personal. The white marker went up. Mini detonations tripped by strings rang out along the rooftops as tons of snow fell to bury Kitty and her cronies alive. Right after the explosions rang out, everyone on the rooftop of the inn quickly climbed back into the top floor and raced downstairs. The two magicians, now exhausted from keeping the ice shields up, joined them on the third floor. Charlie was amazed at Lyn being able to think of a defensive use for an offensive magic such as Fimbulvetr.

Soon, they joined the rest of the defenders on the main street of Silent Springs, now littered with splinters, boulder shards, ice shards, blood and bodies. Facing them were around fifty surviving bandits along with Kitty herself. The bandit leader was fuming, her face matching the shape and color of a giant red tomato.

Without a word, Kitty's soldiers charged. Immediately, five javelins lanced out, picking off the front five attackers. Then, the hand-to-hand battle started. Charlie drew his sword and parried blow after blow, while being pushed back. He was still outnumbered three to one, but now only slightly.

A shadow appeared behind one of his attackers and the man fell silent. His companion soon fell. Charlie snapped out of his trance to knee his third attacker in the groin before sinking his sword into the man's gut. Charlie pulled his sword out and found himself face to face with Kiyoko.

"Thanks sis." He said smiling.

"Anytime, and don't give your mom any ideas."

"I won't"

With that, the two rejoined the fray.

The battle was quickly over. Kitty was hoping to win with quantity over quality. The poor training of her bandits became evident soon into the battle as the three lords cut through the ranks effortlessly while Sain and Kent fought back to back bring down a dozen bandits themselves. The Pegasus sisters covered the flanks and blocked any retreating bandits while the magicians busied themselves with healing staves. Soon, only Kitty and three of her men remained standing.

Kitty twirled her sword around dangerously, but her right hand men were more or less scared out of their wits.

"Give it up Kitty." Charlie spat. "You lost. Surrender and we might give you a trial."

"NEVER!" Kitty cried. She pulled out a bow from seemingly nowhere and fired an arrow blindly into the crowd surrounding her.

The arrow flew wide of Charlie and narrowly missed Kiyoko who was standing to his right. Alan dodged out of the way, and everyone else held their breath, hoping nobody would get hurt.

Suddenly, Raven gasped.

"PRISCILLA!"

The Valkyrie was busy recovering to notice the arrow. When her name was called, she jumped and froze at the sight of the rapidly approaching arrow aimed at her head. Closing her eyes, she screamed, and prayed for salvation, until a weight pushed her aside.

"KAREL!"

Priscilla opened her eyes and saw the Swordmaster lying in the snow, his eyes unfocused; the arrow sticking out of his side. Priscilla gasped and quickly brought her healing staff to bear. Fae ran over and did the same while Kate pulled out a first aid kit and examined the wound.

Everyone turned around and glared at Kitty. A hand axe from Dart effectively knocked the bow from her hands before she could fumble another arrow on. A flash of steel and Kitty's remaining bandits fell with Dias and Dart standing over them wiping blood off their blades. Charlie turned to glare at Kitty.

"Guess you want to go the hard way." He snarled.

Kitty gave a scream and drew an overlarge sword. Hector swore.

"DEAR LORD HOW MANY WEAPONS DOES SHE HAVE!"

Everyone scattered. Marcus picked up Karel's limp body and moved him to safety while Kate, Fae and Priscilla continued to heal her.

Charlie watched Kitty swing her sword wildly. The blade was huge, and he wondered how Kitty could even carry that thing. Finding himself at his wits end, he reached into his robe and uncorked a vial of clear liquid. He jumped back, waited for Kitty to turn away before tossing it at her head. Just before the vial smashed into her, he whistled.

"HEY KITTY!"

The bandit leader turned around and her eyes widened as a vial smashed into her mouth, letting a considerable amount of its contents drip into her mouth. Kitty quickly spat out the vial, but she had drank nearly half its contents.

"The hell was that?" She asked, feeling the muscles in her arms weaken.

"Booze." Charlie said.

Kitty looked at him strangely, and made to swing at him, but found that her muscles won't work. She tried to move, but stumbled and fell into the snow. She felt week, and wanted to sleep. She fought the urge, but soon gave in and let darkness wash over her.

Nobody moved after seeing Kitty fall. Finally, Kent rang forward and kicked the sword away from Kitty's grasp. She turned her around and felt for a pulse.

"She's dead." He announced surprised.

Everyone turned to look at Charlie.

"What?" The innkeeper said "It was booze… 523 alcohol by volume, but still booze. I usually serve it by the drop. One drop and a cup of water give quite a kick."

Everyone chuckled and shook their heads. It was an interesting story. After a two hour long battle involving makeshift catapults, fire, explosions, gas and traps, the leader of the opposing army…drank herself to death. It was going to be an interesting one indeed.

Hector and Eliwood looked around at the carnage, then back at the inn. They gave a shout. "LUGIA! NINO! YOU CAN LET THEM OUT NOW!"

The doors immediately banged open as the rest of the army flooded out bombarding the defense team with questions. Hector held up his hands for silence.

"Now's not the time, first we must clean up the town. The snow here must be cleared away and the bodies and debris carted off. On the face of the cliff you'll find thousands of bodies needing burials."

Sonia cut in. "There's a plateau East of Silent Springs you can use for burials. They were bandits, but they still need to be buried. Also, if anybody knows how to heal, there's a young man being tended to near the restaurant."

Everyone quickly ran around cleaning up. Kiyoko once again ran messenger to the village asking for cleanup assistance, which all non-nursing residents over 12 years of age responded to enthusiastically. Karen unfortunately was stuck baby-sitting.

As the mess was cleaned up, one man's fate was still uncertain. Priscilla stood over Karel with tears in her eyes. Serra came over and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"He'll make it…" Serra assured the Valkyrie, although she herself was uncertain of that fact.

Priscilla raised a teary face. "I called him a heartless bastard… and he saved my life. I've never felt more guilty in my life."

Serra gave Priscilla a warm hug.

"It'll be okay."

"…I called him so many bad things. I kicked in the balls. I bet I hurt him more than just physically."

"You sure did…"

Every healer stopped and stared.

Karel's mouth curved in a smile although his eyes didn't open.

"You need to watch your back girl." Karel said smirking a bit. Priscilla could still see a wince of pain.

Tears flowed from her face as Priscilla placed his head into her lap and stroked his hair.

"You big idiot…" She murmured.

Serra smiled, glad that her friend was over Erk. "All right, back to work people."

The healers continued to make sure Karel's wound was cleaned and healing, but all Priscilla could do was look down and smile at Karel's uneven breathing, glad that he won't die because of her.

---

Kitty opened her eyes. Everything was white. Standing next to her was a hooded figure.

"Are you death?" She asked tentatively.

"No, I'm the freaking Easter Bunny." Strum snapped. "No shit I'm death. Can't you tell from the scythe!"

"Sorry…" Kitty murmured. "So does that mean I'm dead."

"Yep." Sturm said. "Alcohol poisoning."

"I drank myself to death?"

"Well, I'd say you were poisoned, but Charlie literally serves that Silent Springs Death Potion to costumers, so I can't say that so yeah, you drank yourself to death."

"Wow…I leave a crappy legacy."

"Yep." Sturm said. "Wanna take a walk? I'm sure my secretary would love to go though your files."

Kitty nodded numbly. Three dimensions over, Demitra was cursing her head off as she saw Kitty's file materialize on top of her while she relaxed on cloud nine.

"STURM! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

* * *

Charlie: 7700 words... whoo! That's a record. Anyways, battle scene. I know the archer thing might seem a bit unbelievable, but in medieval times, English Longbowmen could fire at that rate. So yeah, nothing special there. Demitra's pissed at Sturm. Yep yep, and Yes, KITTY dies. Bet nobody expected that. As with Samantha, Kitty may not be coming back, but she'll still be in the fic for a while. No worries there.

Anyways, sorry for the lack of reviewer responses again, but it's late at night, I retyped the last section fifty times due to typos, and I need sleep. I just want to thank all my reviewers. You guys not only give me inspiration and motivation, but make me feel that my time is well spent writing this fic. And as always, your comments and criticisms (constructive ones, not ones about Matthew) help me strive to be a better writer. Thank you, and I wish you all good luck in the upcoming school year.


	27. The Eternal What!

Charlie: Nothing much to say. Sorry about the delay, I was backed up in work and stuff. Anyways, I'm just going to go on with the story. Cameo people may or may not get their appearances, but I'm being really worn down right now…I don't have the energy to keep track of things. If I promised you a cameo and you still haven't gotten it…let me know…but please be honest about it. If I really didn't promise you a cameo… don't tell me I did…I'm tired enough as it is.

Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Victims who had no choice, not the morons who were too busy looting and trying to save their stuff, but real victims, whose situations prevented them from avoiding the disaster. I ask everyone who reads this take a moment to remember them. If you're a religious nut and must feel the need to compare the tragedy to Sodom and Gamarra, then I ask you to please leave right now. A tragedy is a tragedy, life is precious…remember the tragedy.

As such, this chapter is also dedicated to the victims of 9/11. Never forget them as we fight against terror in the world.

For every review I get for this chapter, I will donate an extra dollar to a Hurricane Katrina Relief Fund. That doesn't mean for those of you who like to take advantage of other people's misfortunes to give me fifty flames or fifty-one liners and stuff like that anonymously. It's just something to help out…

And yeah… again, sorry for the huge wait… college stuff… AP Bio, all that jazz.

Well, on with the chapter

* * *

The Eternal What!

Lowen, Jaffar and Jessica stared at Kevin and the twins as they summarized the fruits of their research. The mystery of Samantha's death was getting stranger and stranger by the minute, plus Matthew's shrieking cries in his unconsciousness didn't help matters.

What peeved Jessica the most was the fact that the three Druids in front of her could tell her their ludicrous theory with a completely straight and serious face. It was like they actually believed what they were saying.

"Could you three run that by me again?" Jessica asked holding her head. "And this time, would you stop trying to imitate T.S. Eliot?"

Kevin sighed and took a deep breath. "Okay basically, Samantha experiencing what is known as a 'near death experience.'"

"She won't wake up until she either has a sterling revelation…" Clide continued.

"Or we break the spell. Until either happens, her body will be frozen in time, and her spirit will be in eh… I'd say upper middle to upper purgatory." Clive finished.

"Right… upper purgatory…purgatory has classes!" Jessica asked.

"Of course!" Clive said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "If low class purgatory didn't exist, where else would the Microsword Execs go when the die? Seriously."

"Okay… moving on." Kevin interrupted. "Right now, our theory is that Samantha is a tool being used by whoever cast this spell to either make us learn a valuable lesson, or torture us."

"I personally think it's the second one."

"Shut up Clive." Kevin snapped. "Anyways, there's one ritual known to mankind that would be able to break Samantha's curse, and it's not a pretty one. We'll have to fight the five Dragons of Eternal Doom on the Continent of Eternal Peril and collect the five Gems of Eternal Chaos that they guard. Then we take the Gems and cast them into the Pit of Eternal Darkness located on the Mountain of Eternal Destruction, which is surrounded by the Forests of Eternal Oblivion located on the Island of Eternal Storms in the middle of the Sea of Eternal Wandering in the Dimension of Eternal Desolation only accessible by the Book of Eternal Sufferng."

"Wait…we have to go INTO a book named the Book of Eternal SUFFERING, fight five dragons and toss them into a pit after traveling over a sea, forest and a mountain that would most likely get us killed?" Jessica asked.

"In a nutshell, yes." Clide said. "The Book of Eternal Suffering happens to be locked in the Room of Eternity in an underground chamber of the Silent Springs Library. The chamber was the original secret archives of the Eternal Library before it burned to the ground and was replaced by this one here."

"So… what happens if we fail?" Lowen asked.

"Well, then Samantha stays in purgatory… and if we get killed then…we die." Clive said.

"With names like Eternal Doom, Eternal Suffering, Eternal Destruction and the like, I don't like our chances for survival." Jessica said.

"Hey, it's either this, or put up with Matthew's incessant crying and then go explain to Samantha's brother why his sister is dead.." Kevin said pointing at the still unconscious thief who was thrashing in his sleep.

Jessica, Lowen, and even Jaffar shuddered at the thought of having to tell Brian his baby sister was "dead." They sighed and gave in.

"So…what do we do?" Jessica asked.

Kevin and the twins exchanged glances.

"First you must sign a contract in blood." Clive said taking out a piece of paper. "Time in different dimensions work differently. You must make a binding contract with the governing physics of the Dimension of Eternal Desolation before you will be allowed to enter. It will guarantee you that you will be able to live in the conditions in those conditions."

"Then we must use the Seal of Etern-"

Jessica clamped her hand onto Clide's mouth. "Okay, I get it!" She screamed. "I'm sorry I asked. Sighing, she took the contract from Clive's hand along with a small dagger. Pricking her finger, she signed the contract, before giving it to Lowen and Jaffar to do the same. Clive then took the contract back and looked it over. Finding everything satisfactory, he too pricked his finger and signed the contract before handing it off to Kevin.

Kevin and Clide finished signing the contract and handed it back to Clive. Clive pocketed the piece of paper and took out a glittering black stave.

"Come then…" He said. "We now go to the Eternal Library."

Kevin placed Samantha's body next to Matthew, and watched as the two instinctively curled around each other. He smiled, pulling out a small bottle of clear liquid and pouring it down Matthew's throat. Corking the bottle, he then turned and followed the group out.

Once outside, Clide traced a square into the ground and jabbed his staff into the ground. He pinned the contract onto the staff, and waited. Suddenly, a bright light flashed through the ground, and the snow melted away, revealing a hidden door in the ground. Clive went over and stopped on top of the door..

"It's not too late to back out… when we come out of the other dimension…things could be different." Clive said.

"How so?" Lowen asked.

"Well…like I said…time and physics govern differently in the other dimensions. We could come back to our time and discover only a second had passed…or we could come back and discover that a thousand years have passed."

Jessica, Lowen and Jaffar flinched visibly.

"If you want out… say so now."

Clive waited, scanning the trio. After a minute, he smiled and pulled the door open, revealing a stairwell leading into the ground.

"Then lets go…"

The entire group descended the stairwell into a murky stone chamber. The chamber was covered in pale white rocks, lit by torches that appear and vanish with the passing of travelers. The chamber connected into another passageway. Clive lead everyone down the hall into a spacious antechamber. In the middle of the enormous cavern was a pedestal with an oversized book sitting on top of it. It's cover was worn completely and it's pages moist and unreadable from years of elemental damage.

Clive walked over to the book and flipped it open. He produced a drawstring pouch and tossed some powder onto the pages. With a flash of purple light, the air before them split, revealing tempest tossed skies and heavy rains and the shoreline of a distant land.

"Well… let's roll." Clive said as he stepped into the split in the air, followed closely by everyone else. Jaffar was the last one to go through. He hesitated a bit, looking back down the passageway, before plunging into the stormy skies himself.

---

Hector and Charlie stood on a plateau looking over a massive grave dug in the side of the mountain. Piles and piles of dead bandits were tossed into this giant hole in the ground as more and more were being added by the second. Charlie stood amazed at how many had died at the hands of so little.

"Well…that was a poorly planned attack…" Hector muttered.

Charlie chuckled and agreed as Dart tossed another stack of bodies into the hole. Just then, Charlie remembered something he had been meaning to ask one of the members of the army.

"Yo Dart."

Dart looked at the innkeeper, raising an eyebrow.

"Have you seen Jessica or Matthew around?" Charlie asked. He hadn't seen the two anywhere.

Dart shook his head.

"Shit… do you think you can go into the village and look for them!"

Dart nodded and walked off. Charlie wondered if Matthew had gotten a boneheaded idea to go rescue Samantha or something. Sighing, he continued to watch the burial, hoping nothing weird had happened. Silent Springs was an interesting place.

Dart walked down the main street, avoiding any patches of red snow. He walked past Kitty's body, still lying in the street. Her face bearing a surprised look as the alcohol poisoning took her life quickly. Dart almost laughed… it was a pathetic way to go.

As he walked out of the main tourist district, the roads began to get narrower. The snow was now crisp and white with few footprints here and there. Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him. He turned around cautiously, his pirate instincts ready to kick in.

He saw a flash of teal hair before a small body crashed into him. He fell over in surprised and his assailant tripped and fell on top of him as a result. Dart opened his eyes and found Fiora lying on his chest groaning.

"Owww…"

Dart blushed lightly and tapped Fiora on the shoulder. The Pegasus Knight looked up and immediately jumped off, her face flushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry about that."

"'sokay." Dart said and shrugged. "What are you doing out here?"

Fiora shrugged. "Just decided to follow. Where are you going?"

"Lookin' for Jess and Matt." Dart said noncommittally. He turned and continued to walk.

"Mind some company?" Fiora asked.

Dart stopped and turned, looking at the petite Pegasus Knight.

"Sure…if you're up to it."

Fiora laughed and strode ahead of Dart. "Watch me."

The two walked in an awkward silence for a while. Finally, they came at an obscure fork in the road.

"Which way?" Dart asked.

Fiora considered for a moment and pointed left down the narrower road. "I doubt Jessica and Matt are hiding out around the school."

Dart shrugged again and led the way as they walked single file down the mountain road. After a long while, they reached an odd looking building.

"What is this place?" Fiora asked, approaching the place in awe.

"I think it's the Library." Dart said reading the words engraved near the door. The two slowly advanced.

Suddenly, Fiora stepped on an odd looking square, and a door rose from the ground, casting an eerie glow on the snow, knocking Fiora onto her back.

After picking herself up, Fiora peeked into the new entrance and found that it lead down into the ground. Motioning for Dart to follow her, she boldly stepped into the cave-like enclosure.

Dart and Fiora walked for a long while. After nearly twenty minutes, they were about to give up when a voice reached their ear.

"….let's roll."

Dart and Fiora ran down the cave, arriving at a large antechamber. They saw a glimpse of Jaffar descending into a stormy portal. Staring in shock at their comrade disappear, Fiora and Dart stood transfixed on the spot.

"Uhm…what is that!" Fiora asked.

"Only one way to find out." Dart said. He walked towards the portal.

"You've gotta be joking me."

"Look, Jaffar went through… it should be safe."

"Should…"

"Stop worrying." Dart said. He held his breath and plunged into the stormy darkness.

Fiora yelped as she watched Dart plunge in. Looking around, she decided to suck it up. After all her friend's lives are at stake. With a great breath, she too jumped into the stormy skies.

Her body felt like it was being stretched as she fell through a cold void…then suddenly hit something soft, hearing a loud groan.

"GET OFFA ME!"

Fiora looked down and saw Jaffar crushed under her and Dart, with Jessica laughing at the side.

After they disentangled themselves, Fiora stared hard at Jessica.

"Okay…what's going on?"

Jessica smiled sadly. "It's a long story…"

"But we'll be glad to tell you."

Fiora turned towards the voice and found three male shamans standing there.

"Oh…I can tell this will be good…" She muttered glaring at Dart.

---

Kitty walked with Sturm as they crossed the threshold into the registration area. The moment the door opened, a flying book knocked the wind out of the Grim Reaper.

"WHAT THE HELL STURM!" Demitra's screech came. "I'M ON BREAK AND YOU DUMP FIFTY THOUSAND PAGES OF WORK ON ME!"

"Well, it's your job." Sturm said calmly, tossing the book aside. "Just because you want to cruise on cloud nine doesn't mean people stop dying."

"You…filthy bastard." Demitra scowled. "But why all this and why now!"

"She was killed by alcohol poisoning?" Sturm said. "Because I wanted to?"

Demitra scowled again. "You ain't getting off that easily." She snapped her fingers and another black clad man appeared.

"Aki, you take over this. I've gotta have a nice chat with these two."

"Yes ma'am." Aki saluted, noticeably cringing at the huge pile of papers.

Demitra then followed Sturm and Kitty angrily out of the waiting hall onto a peaceful cloud floating over the sea.

"Alright Sturm, spill it, what's going on?" Demitra demanded.

"I have a feeling our friend here wants to go back." Sturm said. "Right?"

Kitty looked surprised. "Uhh…sure?"

"Wait… you do know that you have to go back as a newborn right?" Demitra asked.

"Not like that." Sturm cut in before Kitty could respond. "I mean Act 4.35"

"Wait… you're not letting ANOTHER one loose in the SAME area are you?" Demitra asked. "What happened to subject 34.3?"

"He's doing fine. His host is asleep."

"Who are you going to send HER to?"

"Host 2.3"

Demitra blanched. "Are you TRYING to destroy the world!"

"Not really." Sturm said. "Hey, not my decision. Came from section 4. But then again, this would probably let me fill my quota faster. Then we can enjoy some free time together eh?"

Demitra rolled her eyes. "Keep dreaming buddy."

Kitty was thoroughly confused. "Someone tell me what's going on?"

"This nutcase wants to send you back as a possessive spirit." Demitra said bluntly.

"Really? COOL!" Kitty said. "When can I go?"

"As soon as the papers are filled." Demitra said.

"When's that?" Kitty asked.

"Now." Sturm said. He snapped his fingers and Kitty felt herself get sucked into a vortex. When she woke again, she was in a darkened room, looking at a little girl who was oddly looking at her intruder.

"Hello?" Kitty said nerviously.

---

"OY CHARLIE!" Alan yelled.

Charlie ran up to Alan, who had an unconscious Kiyoko in his arms.

"What happened?" Charlie asked.

"No clue…she screamed and collapsed."

Charlie felt her forehead and took a pulse. "I think she's just exhausted… take her inside and give her some fluids."

Alan nodded and took Kiyoko into the inn. Charlie sighed and looked around. The snow was still red and a few bodies were still half buried. He ran a hand through his hair and pulled out a few strands. He could see the whiteness of some strands.

"God…I'm getting old." Charlie grumbled. The stress was building, but at least he still got his brews to keep him going. Taking a shovel, he began clearing the scarlet snow.

---

"Who are you?" The girl asked Kitty.

"Uhm… Kitty."

"HEY! You're that bandit! Aren't you dead?"

"Kinda." Kitty said. "I'm possessing you now."

"Oh…" The girl said. "Why?"

"I really don't know." Kitty said. "So…wanna destroy the world?"

"Why?" The girl asked.

Kitty thought for a moment. She tried to remember the profiles of all the residents of Silent Springs, assuming that she was here. She found a match with her memory within moments and smiled.

"I'll give you pocky."

"OKAY!" The girl squealed.

"This will be easy…" Kitty smiled to herself. "SWEET REVENGE!"

* * *

Charlie: Eheh, have fun with the cliffie! Hehe. Anyways, sorry for the long wait, I know this wasn't as well written but eh, it's a transition. Next few chapters will be completely on the adventure in the parallel dimention. Well, have fun… sorry for lack of reviewer's corner, but seriously guys, I REALLY appreciate all the support you've given me, and I'm REALLY sorry about the wait… I hope you'll forgive me. Well love ya all. Enjoy. 


	28. The Eternal Quest I: OMFGWTF!

Charlie: Yeah, to everyone who thinks this is cliché… it's meant to be.

Thanks for all the support guys, and I'm pretty sure the Red Cross also appreciates it.

Anyways, on with the show; time for the book of Eternity.

Oh and here's a Character List for the Eternity Series:

Good:  
Nikolas Vazarah – Tsar of The Eternal City

Christopher Vazarah – Eldest Son of Nikolas, the Tsarevich, Heir to The Eternal City

Callista Vazarah – The Eternal Princess, Grand Duchess of The Eternal City, Sister of Christopher

Hiro Sciron – Childhood friend of the Vazarahs. Orphaned at a young age. Very powerful fighter.

Eunomia Sciron – Hiro's sister. Powerful sorceress with powers over nature and time.

Serena Mousai – Fiancée of the Tsarevich. The future Tsarina. No fighting abilities whatsoever.

Patric Pan – Silent Warrior from the Island of Eternal Storms. Nobody knows who he is or where he comes from. We just know he's badass and should've been named Peter.

Evil:

Overlord Troy – Ruler of the Island of Storms. Plans to take over the world in progress. Has control over the Dragons of Doom

Berserker Jerry – Rogue general who deserted The Eternal City. Joined forces with the Overlord of the Island of Storms after promised glory, land and riches.

Eriene Ivana Discordia – Mysterious assassin from the Island of Eternal Storms.

* * *

**Eternal Quest I:**

OMFGWTF!

"Okay… can somebody tell me what the heck is going on?" Fiora asked nursing a finger that one of the shamans had cut. "And why did I have to sign that thing in blood."

"We're in an alternate dimension." Jessica said calmly. "And that was to make sure the physics of this world doesn't kill you."

"…You lost me."

"Okay, I really don't have time to explain." Kevin said, handing both Dart and Fiora some bandages. "But the basic thing is, we're here to break a prophecy, and you're in an alternate dimension."

"…I can see how that is SO much more descriptive." Fiora said, getting rather annoyed.

"…Samantha's stuck in a near death condition, we're here to break that. This is an alternate dimension, and you just saved your life." Clide tried, coming over.

"That STILL didn't make sense." Fiora said. "And who the hell are you?"

"Name's Clide." The shaman said. "That man over there is Clive."

Fiora looked over to an identical looking man looking at a piece of paper.

"Twins?"

"Yep." Clide said. "Anyways, just tag along with us for now okay? It's a very complicated story, and you really had to be there to believe it. But for now, staying with us is the only way that will guarantee your survival."

"How can we trust you?" Fiora asked.

"Because we're with them." Jessica said pointing to herself, Jaffar and Lowen.

Dart looked at the three and then back to Fiora. "Yeah, I think we can trust them. I mean, if LOWEN'S in this there's no possible way this could be a trap."

"Yeah! Wait… HEY!" Lowen huffed indignantly. "Are you implying something you pirate!"

"I haven't been a bloody pirate since you guys dragged me into the mountains. But yes, I am implying something." Dart smirked.

Lowen growled and was about to hurl himself at Dart, that is until Jessica stepped in between the two and smacked them both on the head.

"Alright, you two can kill yourself later. We have bigger problems right now."

"Like what?" Dart growled.

Jessica pointed around her. For the first time, Dart noticed that he was on an open field with no sign of civilization anywhere in sight.

"Like finding food, water and shelter before we die?"

Dart an Lowen growled again but they both backed down. Jessica sighed and walked over to where Clide and Clive were brainstorming.

"What's up?"

The twins looked up and pointed at a map they were looking at. "Don't ask us where we got this."

"I won't. Where are we?"

Clide looked around and pointed near the Eastern end of the largest continent, just a few inches below a large yellow space marked "The Desert of Winds."

"Looks like we just missed the desert by a few miles." He said. "The nearest city should be the caital, southwest of us. I think that is a very good place to start."

Jessica nodded.

The group soon gathered and made their way, with the twins taking turns navigating. After nearly a day's marching, the group finally saw lights in the distance.

"We're here!" Clive shouted after seeing the city lights. The rest of the group was too tired to mirror his enthusiasm, but the mood definitely rose a bit. They headed towards the source of light.

At the gates, the group easily blended in with every other generic traveler, and since the guards never do anything, they got in pretty easily.

"Nice town." Jessica marveled.

The Eternal City was indeed a very beautiful town. It was a castle city, walled. Very ornate buildings and bustled with lights and activity.

Suddenly, a deep voice came out of nowhere.

_As our heroes ventured into the Eternal City, people began looking at them curiously, as if they were animals at a zoo. One little boy even poked Lowen in the leg._

Jessica looked up. "Who the hell was that."

_I am the narrator._

"You sound like Charlie on crack." Jessica growled. Lowen and Fiora chuckled and nodded in agreement.

_SILENCE! I am the author! AS I was saying, people were looking at our heroes strange._

"You still sound funny." Fiora said. "Charlie doesn't normally talk in that deep announcer voice. Plus we still have no idea where you're coming from."

_All right…that's it. As our heroes constantly bitched with the narrator, one of the villagers reported strange outsiders to the Tsar. Tsar Nikolas Vazarah, intrigued by the prospect of visitors from outside the world, sent troops to apprehend our heroes. So while Fiora and Jessica continually bitched with the omniscient voice, much to the more self-preserving males' dismay, our heroes soon found themselves surrounded by Imperial Guardsmen, all sporting energy rifles._

"… I hate you Charlie." Jessica grumbled as the lead guardsmen ordered her arms into the air.

"You know…you two could've just kept your BIG mouth shut." Dart grumbled "And we would be in an inn sleeping already."

"Yeah… but NOOOOOOOOOO. You two HAD to argue with the Omniscient One." Kevin added.

"Yeah, isn't a name meaning "The All Seeing, All Knowing, All Powerful One" enough to make you girls scared!" Clide groaned as the guardsmen handcuffed the group.

"But NOOO. You women and your female 'intuition' had to take the most 'logical' course of action and BITCH at a person who could make our lives miserable." Clive finished.

_Anyways, our heroes were all cuffed, for none of the guardsmen wanted to risk strange outsiders from another world pulling out uber weapons and putting the hurt onto them. So as prisoners, they were paraded before the populace of the Eternal City and into the Eternal Castle were the Tsar of Eternia awaited them. Tsar Nikolas was appalled at how his guests were treated and immediately ordered the handcuffs off. The guardsmen however, kept their eye on the girls, for they saw them yelling at… well, nobody in particular since I the omniscient one have no physical being. Fiora and Jessica were much perturbed._

Tsar Nikolas was seated on the diamond throne, looking at the outsiders. He has heard of outside dimentions, but never thought visitors from such places would ever visit his land. But from the looks of the garmets and hair color of these visitors, he knew that they were from another land. He stood up and addressed them.

"Greetings my friends. Please pardon my guards. They are rather…brusque. I would like to welcome you to the Land of Eternia. I am Tsar Nikolas Vazarah."

"Your highness." Clide and Clive said in unison as the entire group fell to their knees.

"Oh come on." Nikolas said. "No need for such greetings. Now, there's no need to hide it. I know you are from another dimention."

"That is correct my lord." Clide said, getting up to his feet. "We come from a land known as Elibe. We're here on the Eternal Quest."

"Ahh yes…the Dragons of Doom have been rather active recently. Unfortunately, you've picked a very bad time to embark on this quest."

"My lord?"

"You see, the Land of Eternia or as your people call it The Eternal Lands have been gripped by an evil overlord who has taken over the Isle of Storms. All communications to and from Sunnus Settlement on the Isle have been cut. Plus… the overlord has some sort of control over the five Dragons of Doom. Retrieving their gems will be hard, and surviving the journey to the Mountain of Eternal Destruction will be nothing short of impossible."

"Is there nothing we can do?" Kevin asked. "We must get back to our time as soon as possible."

"Ahh, well, time you have." Nikolas relaxed. "You see, a year in Eternia is but five minutes in your dimension. But for now, we must prepare you for your quest. Unfortunately, my troops are wide spread, however, I will have my son and his friend accompany you. They have knowledge of this land."

"We are eternally grateful my lord." The twins and Kevin bowed.

_Upon accepting his offer, our heroes were invited to stay at the castle. They were assigned to a wing in one of the main towers, with each of them getting their own rooms. After settling in, the Tsar invited them to dinner to introduce them to his son and his friend._

Fiora looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a light blue gown. As expected, it was strapless. Looking apprehensively at her appearance and the amount of skin her outfit showed, Fiora tried to pull at it, succeeding only in nearly suffocating herself. She sighed and decided to leave her dress alone. Looking at a device the Eternians call a clock, she noticed it was almost time for dinner. So she quickly walked to her door and opened it.

Outside, she found Dart, waiting for her. She had to admit, he looked pretty charming, fidgeting in his rather stiff suit.

"Err…hello." Dart fumbled when he saw Fiora. He could've sworn she wasn't this pretty.

"Hey there… you look charming." Fiora giggled. For some reason, ever since the first night when the pirate tried to get her to sleep on the ground, she had enjoyed watching him sweat. He's changed quite a bit in the tree days at Silent Springs though. It was almost as if he was losing his pirate talk and attitude and acting like… well, Wil. Fiora had no idea why she suddenly equated Dart with Wil.

Shrugging this thought off, the girl took Dart's arm and walked with him to the banquet hall. The hall itself was a large room, with one long table in the middle. Fiora and Dart were the last to arrive. The quickly apologized and took their seats. At the head of the table sat the Tsar in glorious robes of Velvet. To his right, where the Queen would normally sit sat a young girl with long dark hair and soft brown eyes. She wore a splendid white gown. To the Tsar's left sat a young man with a tuft of black hair. He wore glasses, and had an arrogant air about him. Next to the man, was a rather handsome and well built young man with shoulder length black hair. His eyes and features were kind and benevolent, but he had the haunted look of an orphan. Seated next to him was a girl, extremely beautiful and breathtaking, with a warm and loving air about her.

The Tsar waited for his guests to be seated before getting up and introducing the company present.

"My friends, before we begin, I would like to introduce you to my daughter at my right. My wife passed away three years ago, but her memory and image lives on in our daughter. This is Grand Duchess Callista. To my left is my son Christopher. He will be the Tsar after my death. Next to him is his friend Hiro Sciron and his sister Eunomia Sciron. They're both powerful fighters and my son is an excellent archer. They will assist you in your journey."

_At this point, Jessica suddenly started laughing, much to the amazement and embarrassment of her friends. Jaffar and Lowen who were the two closest to her tried to subdue her with little success._

"Is there something funny Lady Jessica?" The Tsarevich asked, standing up and narrowing his eyes.

"Your friend's name… Hero! What kind of name is that!" Jessica said bluntly.

"It's HIRO, with an I, and I do not appreciate you laughing at my friend's name." Chris said. "Please cease."

"Oh and what are you going to do to me short stuff?" Jessica said between laughs.

Chris growled and snapped his fingers. Immediately, twenty guards filled the palace and had beam rifles at the ready.

"Chris!" Nikolas said and banished the guards. "I'm sure Jessica meant no disrespect."

"Yeah, and my name is kinda lame." Hiro laughed along.

"And he refuses to change it." Eunomia added. "He deserves to be laughed at."

"What! But from a midget like her!"

"You ain't no Shaquille O'Neal either buddy." Callista poked at her brother. "So just keep your mouth shut.

Chris grumbled and stayed silent, his sister winning him over. Tsar Nikolas had a good chuckle and waved his arms for everyone to sit down.

"I'm sorry if my friend offended you my lord." Clide quickly apologized. "She is ignorant of this dimension."

"Don't worry about it." Nikolas laughed it off. "Hiro doesn't mind. He's a nice guy. My son's a bit hotheaded at times. Don't worry, you'll get along with them."

_So, as things settled, dinner began and light conversation about life and other things floated around. Yes, Tsars and Duchesses are still normal people who live normal lives. Anyways, Chris and Hiro decided that their sisters would NOT go on the journey. Hiro didn't want Eunomia to go because he was overprotective. Chris didn't want Callista to go because he knew that Hiro and his sister were secretly dating. Of course he approved, but he just didn't want to walk in on his best friend and his baby sister. That would just be awkward. Anyways, during the middle of the dinner, which is right about now, another girl with long wavy hair dressed in pink entered and immediately the Tsarevich went about three shades of pink. Our heroes of course noticed this. Kevin, the twins, Lowen, Jaffar, Dart and Fiora all had the common sense to hold their tongues. Jessica however…_

"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE GIRLFRIEND! AHAHAHA!"

The Tsarevich was not pleased. Unfortunately, the new girl didn't make things any better as she went up to him and kissed him on the cheek before taking a seat next to Callista.

Nikolas chuckled and stood again. "This my friends is Serena Mousai. She is my son's Fiancée. They are to marry in three month's time. If you my friends would like to stay until then, you'd be welcome to the wedding."

"Oh no my lord." Clide answered again. He and his brothers were now the official representatives to the Tsar. "We couldn't impose."

"Nonsense." Nikolas said. "The more the merrier."

"If our journey doesn't go as planned… the wedding might have to be postponed." Chris grumbled.

"Journey? What journey?" Serena screeched. "CHRIS ARE YOU GONNA GO OFF AGAIN AND LEAVE ME HERE ALL BY MY LONESOME!"

"No Serena, I just have to help these people go on an Eternal Quest.

Serena glared at the group, her eyes finally falling on Fiora.

"OH, and I'm pretty sure you and that teal haired Siren over there will have LOTS of adventuring to do."

"WHAT!" Chris and Fiora cried in unison.

"Serena, I barely even know that girl!"

"Mi lady, I assure you I have no interest in your fiancée. I am quite taken by someone else."

Fiora suddenly put her hand to her mouth, forgetting that she DIDN'T have anyone else. She hoped Serena wouldn't call her buff.

"Oh yeah? What's his name?"

Fiora groaned. Being a Pegasus Knight, she barely knew any males very well. Hell, right now, the only guy she's talked to for more than two minutes on a subject other than wars or strategy is Dart and even then…it was over who would sleep on the ground…

"I'm sitting next to him… his name's Dart." Fiora said flushing.

In unison, Jessica, Lowen, Jaffar, Kevin, Clide, and Clive along with Dart ALL turned towards her with their jaws dropped.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Fiora stood there flushing, giving them a look. Serena wasn't fooled.

"Oh really. I'm sure since you're quite taken by him, you two won't mind sharing a kiss eh?"

_At this point I am under going multiple seizures._

Jessica glanced up to the ceiling. "SHUT UP CHARLIE! THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!"

_Out of nowhere, a pie flies out and smacks Jessica in the face, ruining her dress. Fear the power of the author._

Meanwhile, Serena was still staring down Dart and Fiora. Fiora looked at Dart apologetically and leaned in. Just before their lips touched. Hiro spoke up.

"Come now, don't make them do this in public, it's embarrassing." He said, saving Fiora and Dart. "Come on Serena, I'll be there. I'll keep Chris in line."

"Don't worry Serena." Callista said. "My brother won't cheat. Plus Hiro'll be there, so you can rest assured." Although in reality, she was worried about Hiro. The young lad has been known to attract women by the dozens, although he was a tad thick and couldn't tell the difference between flirting and tripping over a rock. He always wondered why girls tripped so much around him.

_Well, Hiro saved Dart and Fiora from embarrassing themselves, but inside Fiora, an inner battle was raging between her feelings. For some reason, she actually felt like she wanted to kiss Dart. So by and by the night passed, and everyone began to turn in. However, in the darkness of the night, two meetings took place. One in a bedroom, and the other in a secret attic. Let us follow both shall we?_

Fiora tossed in her sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about the pirate sleeping a few doors over. Sighing, she got up and wrapped a robe over her night gown and moved the the window. Outside, the Eternal City was still bustling in lights. The city that never sleeps. Fiora was amazed at the gadgets these people had, from lightning in those little bulbs that produce light, to the rifles that shoot amazing distances at such a fast rate, to the clocks on the walls. And she was sure that there were so much more things left to see. Sighing, she tried to go back to sleep, but just couldn't. Finally, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Moving silently, she tip toed out her room and walked two doors over. Standing in front of the wooden oak door, her hands hovered over the knob. She took a deep breath and twisted it, going into the room.

Dart was inside, sleeping soundly. Fiora walked inside a few paces and stopped. She watched Dart's chest rise and fall with the blanket. She stood there and sighed, then turned to go. Just before she got to the door, she heard the bed creak.

"Did you want something?" A male voice asked.

Fiora turned and flushed. "Oh uhm, I uhh…couldn't sleep and uhm, was wondering was in here."

Dart looked confused. "Weren't you the one who kicked me to this room because you like the color of the one next to it?"

"Oh right." Fiora said. She couldn't understand for the life of her why she was so flustered. "I just…forgot."

"You…forgot." Dart looked skeptical. "Right…"

There was a long awkward silence before Fiora fidgeted and moved forward.

"Hey, sorry about earlier today." She muttered. "I was just… hoping she wouldn't call my bluff."

"Don't worry about it." Dart yawned. "That Serena was a bit off her rocker too."

"Heh, yeah…" Fiora smiled. "Like I would want to touch her Fiancée."

"I dunno… rich and famous… I mean… any girl wo-"

"Finish that and die."

Dart laughed and backed off. "I'm just kidding, calm down."

More awkward silence passed and Fiora went to sit on the edge of Dart's bed.

"Well, at least we won't have to fight about who sleeps on the ground anymore." Dart said.

"Heh…yeah. But aren't we leaving tomorrow?" Fiora asked.

"True, but hey, maybe after the quest is finished we'll stay for the wedding… a few more nights won't hurt before we go back and argue again."

"True."

Even more awkward silence passed. As they sat there in silence, Fiora made the fatal mistake of catching Dart's eyes.

"Why…why did you name me?" Dart asked as he gazed into Fiora's mesmerizing eyes. "You could've named anyone you wanted…but why me?"

"I just…don't talk to men about things other than business often… hell, you were one of the first…"

"What? Our bed assignment arguments?"

"Lame as it is, yes."

"Heh, well, good thing Hiro saved us… hope you're not too disappointed." Dart joked.

Fiora laughed. "Heh, just a tad…!" She brought her hands to her mouth again. 'Stupid…UGH'

Dart and Fiora sat there, staring at each other. Their heads came slightly closer together as if attracted by little lip magnets, or string…or some other attraction thingy.

"What does that mean?" Dart asked in a whisper.

"I don't know… " Fiora whispered back. "It just means I was a bit disappointed."

"That you didn't get to kiss me?"

"Yeah…"

Their heads came closer still. Fiora's head began to spin. Who knew three days was enough for anything to develop, but then again, the man was kinda cute. And after he lost his little pirateness from being stuck in the frozen mountains for a few days, he was very charming.

Before either Dart of Fiora could get another word out, their lips were sealed together at the seams as they fell back onto the bed locked in a gentle lip lock. Darts arms came up and wound itself into Fiora's thick hair.

_And so, as I turn their brain into mush, let us give the lovely couple some privacy and move to the second secret meeting. This was between our lovely Eternian Females. Yes, we have the Grand Duchess, the Tsarevich's Fiancée…and erm…the orphan girl?_

Eunomia glared up at the ceiling and shook her fist. "HEY! WATCH IT BUB!"

_Fine, the lovely and sweet Eunomia, better!_

"Much, thankies!"

_Anyways, the girls were up plotting…so go plot._

Serena, Eunomia and Callista were gathered in their secret spot. Nobody but them knew about this secret attic and the girls have used it as their secret base for years. Of course, once Serena and Chris got engaged, Callista and Eunomia would often threaten Serena with bodily harm if she ever showed Chris the place. And once Callista and Hiro had their fling going, Eunomia put her foot down and cast a time freeze spell on the door, causing any unauthorized person who touched the door to freeze until she dispelled him or her.

But today, they were discussion the journey that was about to leave the Eternal City.

"It's not fair!" Eunomia was screeching. "I'm WAY faster and better than Hiro yet he still treats me like a little kid."

"Yeah, and Chris is such an ass!" Callista cried.

"No he's not, you're just sore because he's overprotective." Serena said.

"And you're just on his side because you're marrying him." Callista snapped back. "Gee, he can't see his best friend making out with his sister yet I have to see my best friend make out with my brother?"

"Point taken." Eunomia said trying to keep any fights from starting. "So the thing is, what do we do now?"

"I'll tell you what we do." Serena said. "We kill all the women and then go ourselves."

"Right, that won't be good." Eunomia said. "Lets not get jealous here."

"Oh you're just bitter because you have no one to be jealous over." Serena snapped.

"LADIES!" Callista cried. "Lets focus shall we? Eunomia has guys throwing themselves at her, lets not get into this argument."

"Fine…" Serena huffed. "But what do we do?"

"Easy." Eunomia said. "We disguise ourselves and sneak on board the wagons. Lord Nikolas is offering them a contingent of around ten troops. They're not gonna notice three extra soldiers."

"That's great, but uhm… where are we gonna get uniforms?" Callista asked.

"Promise not to tell your father this?" Eunomia asked.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Well… when my brother and I were children, we'd nick clothes from the royal guards all the time." Eunomia said producing three sets of guardsmen clothes.

"Awesome!" Serena cried. "Then it's settled, we get up early tomorrow and sneak on board?"

"Yes." Callista said. "Oh and nobody finds out about this…until we're twenty miles outside of town."

"Deal."

The girls all shook hands and each took turns going downstairs, staying as silent as they could be.

_So, the devious ladies have their own plot. Yes, meanwhile, on the Isle of Eternal Storms, Lord Troy and his buddy Jerry were watching the whole exchange on tape. Needless to say they were quite perturbed. Next to them was a rather enchanting assassin girl. She had long black hair and her tight outfit left VERY little to the imagination._

"So…" Troy grumbled. "The Tsar thinks he can pull this off eh? Tricking those outsiders as well."

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.

"The Eternal Quest will not only resurrect whoever the outsiders wanted to save, but also be the downfall of us."

"Ahh, well we can't have that happen now?"

"Indeed no." Troy said. "Ivana."

The girl stepped forward and smacked Troy upside the head. "NEVER call me by that name."

"Sorry Eriene, or do you prefer Lady Discordia?"

"I'd prefer it if you kept your mouth shut."

"Sorry, geez. Anyways, you up for a job?"

"Sure, who is it this time?"

"The Tsarevich and buddies the Sciron siblings along with the outsiders."

Eriene flinched visibly, something that Troy and Jerry didn't miss. The latter groaned.

"Give me a break Eri, he broke up with you years ago."

Eriene growled. "I'm just imagining ways to kill him."

"Excellent. Soon, the Eternal Tsar will fall, AND I SHALL TAKE OVER ALL ETERNIA! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

_As Troy continued his evil laughter…_

Troy looked up. "Who the HELL are you?"

_I am the omniscient one, silence! As I was say-_

"How did you find us?" Jerry asked.

_Gee, does the word omniscient not mean anything in this world! Silence! Anyways, the evil villains have sent their assassin Eriene Ivana Discordia out to murder the Royal Heirs and the Outsiders. Will our heroes survive? Will they resurrect Samantha? Will Chris EVER get married! And who is it that has had a past with Eriene! Will I ever stop asking questions?_

_Who knows? Stay tuned for The Eternal Quest II: Oh God We're Screwed

* * *

_

Charlie: Yes… indeed. Anyways, this will go on for a bit. Sorry for the wait again, my last few weeks have been up Shit's Creek without a paddle.

Okay, as for reviewer responses, yes, it is official, has blacklisted them. I got a freaking e-mail warning me about them. So I'm really sorry guys, I really want to do them, but I know there are people on this site who really don't like me, and unfortunately, the people who don't like me are the ones who would be childish enough to report this just to piss me off.

Anyways, to all reviewers, I really appreciate your support. I wish I could show my appreciation more, but yeah, puts up way to many rules.

So I hope you'll enjoy this. Yes, it's supposed to be cliché, I'm making fun of clichés. And Dart x Fiora! Yay! Credit to Kate for giving the random idea in like… May. Ahahaha.

Well, until later, thanks everyone!


	29. Eternal Quest II: Oh God We're Screwed!

Charlie: Hello… yes, amazing, I am updating fast! -gaspeth- Well, actually, I'm just taking a break from college apps. Heh, anyways, uhm… err… really nothing to explain, because while this is all happening…nothing really happens in the FE world since…well about two seconds have passed in Elibe. Yes. Anyways, on with the show, and I do not own FE.

And before you get confused, yes, Eternia is futuristic.

And yes, I really do hate quickedit.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. One warning, I do mock yaoism in this series, and how do I do it? I put in yaoi and then I make fun of it. Although I am not a homophobe and I do support gay rights, I am not and will NEVER be a yaoi writer. So I am sorry to all you fangirls if the scene sucks. (And it's also a one-time thing. I will NEVER again write another yaoi scene in my life.)

To everyone else, yes, the scene sucks, don't worry, nothing graphic. And to you guys who think two girls kissing is hot but two guys kissing is sick… I have no clue what the hell you're on. But anyways, yes, the scene is as graphic as… a game of football, where guys in pads tackle each other. Just replace the pads with armor and make one of the guys gay and the other an unwilling participant and you'll know.

To everyone who thinks gay people are spawns of the evil and should die… I suggest you go die. Homosexuality is related to genetics…they were born that way; they didn't choose to be that way.

* * *

**The Eternal Quest II**

Oh God We're Screwed!

_So, when we last left off our heroes, they were all … err… sleeping, except for Dart and Fiora who were snogging… yes… uhm, let us fast forward shall we? The morning sun hit the Eternal City and everyone was beginning to stir. Within an hour, they were all up and about. Jessica, Kevin, the twins, Lowen, Jaffar, Dart and Fiora gathered in the war room where the Tsarevich and his friend Hiro were about to give them a demonstration on Eternia weaponry. Lowen and Jaffar were unarmed when they arrived in the world, but Fiora and Dart both still had their respective weaponry._

"What the hell is THAT!" Chris said incredulously when he saw Fiora walk in with her killer lance.

"It's my lance. It's a really good one too."

Without saying anything, Chris pulled out a long pole and swiped it across Fiora's face. Moments later, her lance and a few of her hairs lay on the ground in two pieces.

"Right, I don't think that's going to work too well here." Chris said.

Fiora looked livid, and with good reason too, her lance cost almost 2000 gold, and it was new too. Dart, Lowen and Jaffar all shot the Tsarevich looks that asked, "are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Chris shrugged off Fiora's angry glare and produced a few more of the almost ten feet long poles. "These are energy pikes. They work so much better than your killer lances as you've just seen."

"I see absolutely no sharp ends on these things." Lowen noted.

"Ahh…" Chris took a pike and pressed a button along its handle. Immediately, a sheath of blue energy surrounded the top two feet of the pole. The Tsarevich then picked up Fiora's broken lance, tossed the pieces into the air, and slashed across the air gracefully. Moments later, Fiora's lance clattered to the ground in over twenty small misshapen pieces.

"Yeah, you really don't want to know what this thing can do to flesh." Chris said. "Anyways, moving on…"

Chris held out the force pikes and Lowen and Fiora both took one. Chris then stashed the rest of the pikes away and pulled out short metal cylinders.

"Okay, anybody here use swords or daggers? Or even axes, we don't have equivalent to axes, so I guess this is the closest we'll get." Chris asked.

Dart, Lowen and Jaffar raised their hands. Chris nodded and gave them each a cylinder. Each cylinder had an opening, two knobs and a button on them.

"Okay, these are beam sabers. You turn them on by pushing the button here. NEVER point the open end of that cylinder near ANYTHING you don't want cut through." The Tsarevich activated his weapon and a brilliant cerulean beam sprang from the hilt, extending around three feet. "The knob next to the activator adjusts the length. Just twist until it gets as long as you want. These things run on batteries though, the longer they are, the more batteries they drain. We wouldn't want your blade to suddenly short out now would we? The third knob here adjusts intensity. It has three settings, low, lethal, and holy shit. At the low setting, it won't kill. At holy shit level, it'll cut through fifty feet of armor in no time. I don't think I need to explain lethal."

Chris then passed out clips and showed everyone how to clip the swords to their belts. Finally, he pulled out long rifles.

"These are beam rifles. See the barrel here? Yes, that's the end you point at your enemy. Just aim and then pull the trigger. It's idiot proof. The beams go around a thousand meters. The little cylinder up here is the sight. It helps you aim."

_Everyone packed a beam rifle and Chris and Hiro demonstrated how to strip a rifle and reassemble it. Then other necessities like canteens and tents followed. Since the Eternia version of most of the basic equipments weren't much different, those demonstrations went fast._

_Once our heroes got the hang of the futuristic weapons and concepts such as electricity and chemistry, it was time to leave. Ten guards were provided bringing the number of travelers up to twenty people. The Tsar provided two hovercrafts that could seat 10 people each. So, all the equipment was brought out and loaded, and the Tsar himself came out to see our travelers off. Unfortunately, once the people started loading, our heroes met their first obstacle._

Jessica looked up in the air and growled. "You just LOVE making us suffer don't you?"

_Yes, I do. I am the omniscient one. And if you don't like it, I'd suggest you stop bitching at me._

"My ass! I don't care if you're the omniscient one! You're still an ass!"

_And then Jessica found herself dressed in a hot pink tube top._

Chris looked at Clide and Clive. "…Is she ALWAYS that stupid?"

The twins shrugged. "Yano, I just like to think the women we brought…"

"…Are just like men… but only without logic and reason."

"Because Fiora also pulled this stunt with the omniscient one."

Chris looked reasonably fearful. "Yes, well… make sure they stay away from me…and the food."

"Will do."

_Anyways, AS I was saying, Jessica is now stuck in a pink tube top, and our heroes met their first obstacle._

Chris stared, something was not right. "Okay, how is this possible? We have twenty people, these things seat 20 people, and yet three guards don't have seats and we're all full."

"It's a mathematical impossibility!" Kevin cried.

"Either that or it's just Charlie messing with us." Fiora groaned.

"Haven't you learned to keep your mouth shut yet?" Chris asked. "This doesn't make sense."

"Your face doesn't make sense!" Jessica laughed.

Chris growled and snapped his fingers. Immediately, every imperial guard present had energy rifles charged and trained at Jessica's head. The tactician growled and backed off. Chris waved his hands and the energy rifles disappeared, but his scowl remained. After thinking for a while… Chris just shrugged and arbitrarily picked three soldiers to get off. After making sure everyone was seated, the hover cars raced off into the distance, out the city gates and into the bright sunny day.

Jessica glared up at the sky. "CAN I HAVE MY CLOTHES BACK!"

_Fine… So after Jessica's clothes mysteriously return to their original state, our heroes set off across the land. Their journey spent mostly in solitude as they passed through jungles and plains and vast amounts of farmland on the edge of the Eternal Province. The group was headed towards a town call Carrassus at the Northern point of the continent. It was a snowy city, and the only open path into the Mountains of the Dragons of Doom._

_As the hours turned into days, and the days turned into weeks, our heroes went steadily towards the northern wastelands, hoping for no obstacles in their path._

_…Boy, were they ever wrong._

_But it gets boring after a while if we keep talking about these fools, so lets switch sides shall we? Back on the Isle of Eternal Storms, aside from the umpteenth hurricane Katrina ripping through the Sannus Settlement that Vazarah was actually dumb enough to set up. Then again, our evil villains also live here… Meh, anyways, Troy and Jerry were in a blazing row after a rather unfortunate incident._

"Troy!" Jerry called out. "YOU BUM WHERE ARE YOU!"

Troy choked out of the bathroom, his reddish black hair slightly wet. He wore a long dark robe, absent of his usual leather armor.

"WHAT IS IT!"

"The resistance, they got away. Apparently, they found out about the Vazarah boy and they're going to join them."

"WHAT!" Troy's eyes flared. "Is…HE with them?"

"Well…" Jerry said sarcastically. "He's their leader…yeah, I'll say he's with them."

"NOOOO!" Troy screamed out in anguish. He grabbed Jerry by the collar. "WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM!"

"Gee, if I could I WOULD HAVE! What's the big deal anyways!" Jerry asked. "Vazarah never had anyone good anyways, I fail to see how a bunch of outsiders can help any."

"YOU FOOL!" Troy screamed shaking Jerry by the collar. "YOU FOOLISH FOOL! HOW COULD YOU LET THEM ESCAPE! DON'T YOU KNOW! THE TSAREVICH HOLDS THE EMERALD THAT ACTIVATES HIS FORCE SWORD! EVERYONE KNEW THAT!"

"Oh…right…" Jerry groaned. "…Crap…lets hope Eri kills them first."

"BAH!" Troy let go of Jerry and turned with a swish of his ink black cape. He turned around and glared at his cohort. "For our sake… you better hope she kills them all."

Wow… OCD. Speaking of our lovely assassin lady…

Eriene's hover bike trailed the royal hover cars closely. She sat forward on the seat, her eyes focused forward in dead concentration. She checked her GPS and discovered that they were a few miles out of Carson Port. Looking up at the afternoon sun, Eriene smiled. The Tsarevich will die in his sleep tonight.

So she followed our heroes as they entered Carson Port. Once in the city, she found a small inn, out of the main shipping district and hid low. She needed the moon before anything happened.

_Meanwhile, our heroes, with Chris's Royal Influence, were checked into the best hotel in the port town. Everyone got their own plush room, complete with mini bar. Unfortunately, our heroes, namely Jessica and her crew, came from Elibe…and had no clue what half the foreign objects in their rooms were, so they spent about half an hour causing power surges and overflowing the bathtub. Jaffar and Dart were especially delighted by the fully stocked mini bar, especially after Lowen joined them._

As our Elibean males were boozing themselves up, our female duo enjoyed a nice steamy sauna bath, chatting about important things… like boys, and how much Charlie sucked.

"So… where were YOU going so late at night back at the Eternal City?" Jessica asked with a trademark smirk. Fiora immediately turned about fifty shades of red… if that was even possible.

"I went…for a walk."

"Uh huh… at three AM in the morning…"

"It's possible!"

"In the East Wing."

"It's possible!"

"While sucking Dart's face off."

Fiora flushed violently and glared. "WHAT! HOW DID YOU KNOW!"

"Now I do."

Jessica laughed at Fiora's disbelieving face before going on to prod her for more details. If at all possible, Fiora's skin, already red from the steam bath, turned a even deeper shade of crimson as she hurriedly tried to change the subject.

"So… Charlie's an ass ya?"

Fiora knew she hit the mark as soon as Jessica went off on a fanatical tirade, which included several words Fiora didn't know…and didn't WANT to know, as well as several different graphic descriptions of two disembowelments and three dismemberments along with two castrations.

_Okay… well… as Jessica bitched about me, all her towels and her clothes up in her roomsuddenly turned a mysterious shade of violent pink. Meanwhile, Chris received an interesting call in his room from a contact in the harbor. A rather questionable ship bribed officials to enter port, however, disembarking were three royal guardsmen and one former Imperial Assassin, one of the mysterious men who aren't listed anywhere in the census. Basically…men who are "dead." Men who cannot be traced… men in service of the Tsar. Chris was intrigued. There were only two Imperial Assassins who have ever gone MIA. One was found dead, and the other has yet to be found, but is assumed to be dead. But now…_

Chris looked up at the ceiling… the strange voice still disturbed him to no end, but after seeing it's power, he dared not question it. It hasn't done anything to him yet…and well…if it was omniscient, he figured it'd be much less humiliating if he'd just not argue…since well, unlike the women, he had a sense of self-preservation that was greater than his pride.

After receiving the call, he quickly grabbed Hiro and picked three guards to go down to the docks with him. The contacts were still uncertain about the true identity and location of the mysterious assassin, but if it was indeed an Imperial Assassin who came back from the dead, then it would be a great help to the journey if Chris recruited him.

Hiro barely had time to pull on a coat before Chris yanked him bodily out of his room and dragged him into the streets along with three guardsmen that just happened to be outside his room. He looked at his friend, who walked along steadily down the street.

"Erm…Chris?" Hiro asked struggling to keep up. "Where are we going?"

"Docks." Chris said calmly. "I got a call from Alpha 2. Apparently, MIA II was spotted."

Hiro blinked. "…I thought he was dead."

"So did I…but someone saw him…"

Nobody noticed the one of the guardsmen let out a high pitched gasp.

And nobody noticed the other two quickly trying to cover her mouth. Chris and Hiro walked on.

Once at the docks, Chris' cell rang again. He picked up and listened quietly to someone on the other line talk. As soon as he snapped his phone shut, Chris immediately pointed to an empty warehouse down the pier.

"Alpha squad has the group detained in there. Moment of truth folks."

The group walked slowly towards the empty warehouse. When they got there, the warehouse was dark inside. The only sign of any life was the fact that the door was slightly open instead of locked shut like the rest of these warehouses that closed for the night. Silently, the group stepped inside.

The warehouse was dim, the only source of light coming from the door and tiny light near the back. The group swiftly made their way to the back near the light. Under the light, three men, bound and gagged were sitting underneath. Three more men, the members of Alpha squad stood over them.

"Sir!" One of the standing men saluted when Chris approached. "Here are the imposters."

Chris looked at the gagged men. Two of them were dressed in Imperial Uniforms, while the third one had the mantle of an Imperial Assassin.

"Uhm, I don't think they're imposters." Chris said. He and Hiro quickly ungagged the captives and immediately, stream of expletives burst through. The two waited for the cussing to stop before continuing.

"Okay…" Chris said, "if you're quite done will you tell us who you are?"

"Well my royal highness," the assassin spat out sarcastically. "I assume you should remember me, after all, I'm the only assassin who ever went MIA." He turned his head up and looked Chris in the eye. As his head raised, a golden dog-tag around his neck became visible.

Chris and Hiro's eyes bulged. "HOLY SHIT! PATRIC?" They quickly untied the lost assassin. As soon as the bound were off, the captives stood up and stretched. Patric stood up tall, at a full 6 foot 3 inches. He cracked his neck and ran a hand through his thick black hair. His eyes twinkled and surveyed the group. He immediately noticed the three imperial guards huddled behind Hiro and Chris.

"Wow, Chris… when did you have female imperial guards?"

"What?" Chris turned around and glared at his guardsmen, who were now aware that they were about to be found out. "I didn't think we had any…you three, off with your helmets."

The imperial guardsmen, growled and pulled off their helmets, releasing their long silky hair. With the visors off, their identities were clear.

"CALLISTA! SERENA!"

"EUROMIA!"

The girls blushed and smiled sheepishly. "Eheh… you didn't expect us to actually TRUST you two now did you?"

Chris looked furious. "OF COURSE YOU WOULD!"

"THIS IS TOO DANGEROUS FOR YOU!" Hiro added.

Alpha squad and the two men Patric was with looked around nerviously. "Uhm…we'll be leaving now." And they quickly ran from the room. The great assassin, Patric, unfortunately, was restrained by the Tsarevich.

"You're not leaving buddy!" Chris said. "You have to come help us!" He turned back to the girls, "and YOU three need to go back home."

Serena growled and smacked Chris upside the head. "NO! We are NOT going home! Just because you're oh so great men doesn't mean us girls can't do anything to help! We're JUST as strong as you are!"

"Bu-"

"NO BUTS! EITHER YOU TAKE US WITH YOU OR I'M CALLING OFF THE WEDDING!"

Chris cowered before his fiancée and immediately consented. Patric and Hiro choked back laughs with fake coughs that sounded strangely like "whipped."

"So it's settled then." Hiro said. "Patric, will you help us?"

"I dunno, shouldn't I be going back to the capital and reporting? After all, I don't want to be a third wheel, especially with our lovely couple…or shall I say couples?" His eyes drifted to Hiro and Callista who in a short period of time had gotten really close…close enough to hold hands.

Hiro and Callista immediately flushed and let go of each other. Chris eyed them both critically before turning back to Patric. "Oh come on, we're going on the Eternal Quest. Outsiders have come."

"Oh? Now this is interesting…but what's in it for me?"

Chris sighed. "I'll pay you double."

"Okay that works!" Patric said. "I'm in."

Immediately, all three girls squealed and huddled around the assassin, poking him as if he were an attraction at a petting zoo.

"OHMIGOSH HE'S SO HOT!" One of them cried.

As the commotion went about the unfortunate assassin, Chris and Hiro exchanged looks.

"Did we just…?" Chris glanced at Patric helpless trying to get away from his screaming fangirls.

"Yeah…I think we just recruited a bishi."

"Oh god…we're so screwed." Chris said.

"Yes…yes we are."

_So a new member joins the group as the night closes. On the way back from the docks, Patric, in addition to Serena, Euromia, and Callista, picked up an entire flock of fangirls with his bishi-ness, much to the dismay of Chris and Hiro, but as the night died, so did the excitement. However, with the last chime of midnight, when all was asleep, one girl was up. As Eriene went about her business, we can only pray our heroes will escape this plight alive._

_Will the make it? Will the addition of Patric help the quest? Will Eriene kill someone? Will Jerry's foolishness be forgiven? WILL I EVER STOP ASKING THESE QUESTIONS!_

_Who knows, tune in next time for the Eternal Quest Finale: Oh God, What Have I Created?

* * *

_

Charlie: Yeah, again, sorry for the delay, but soon, college apps will be over, and I shall write more constantly! So lets pray for that day. Anyways, the Eternal Series will come to a close. After the next chapter, we will go back to your regularly scheduled sappy craziness, with a new plotline to give the people something to do. Yes, Fiora and Dart is a pairing, again, this is all the work of my random number generator.

Oh yes… by the way… please don't report me for this:

**Reviewer Corner n.n**

BlackHole CO: Haha, yes, another dimention. The Narrator is more or less there to progress through the more boring parts easier and add a touch of humor. And yeah, I can't speak pirate, so I didn't try, and I'm glad to see my Dart/Fiora scene had my desired effect! MUAHAHAHA!. Heh, sorry. As usual, I love your little stories.

Kevin: Haha, yes, that is the beauty of an alternate dimention…I don't hafta follow the laws of physics!

Sam: Haha, yeah, well, these OCs will go away soon. Go Fiora and Dart! I wanted to see how people would react to it.

Rlnaruhina: Haha, sorry 'bout the delay. I'm glad you liked the last chapter.

SacredBlade: Hehe, thanks for the support! I'm really sorry it's taking me so long to do it.

Northernsword: -ish wacked- haha, thanks. Right now…two minutes have passed in the real world. So…nothing much has happened.

TheWatcherandReader: Heh, thanks. I hope you liked this one. I'm hoping to make the next one longer and more action packed, but this one's more of a setting the stage kinda thing.

Draknal: Haha, don't worry, I care a lot about my reviewers. I've basically decided that if somebody wants to report this, he/she would probably be committing suicide. I personally think that just giving the reviewer a response to know that I appreciate you guys taking your time to review me is a good thing to do. I'm glad you liked the narrator. Hehe, NEVER MESS WITH MEH!

Wanchoo: Hehe, thanks. Yes, I got the point, but it's always nice to hear.

Lao Who Mai: Yes, it is quite hard to believe…but hey, I make anything happen! MUAHAHAH! Ph34r the power of the author.

Cool-Chan: Hehe, well, I brought back the corner. Screw the admins n.n I love your author powers. I might try it sometime.

Kiyoko-Chan: Hehe, the meat of the quest series is all gonna be in one chapter. Prepare to taste clicheness! And I even got a bishi! YAY! n.n I figured you'd like the chapter title.

Nightmare3: YES! PH34R ME! I MAKE THY BRAIN BLEED! Sorry 'bout Fiora though.

Duplicate Falcon: Yes! Thou art the evil dictator. Haha.

Luckless 102: Ahh, yes, well, beat up is a relative term. You'll get your share. Besides, I have plans for you.

DragonLady626: Haha, well, I'm making it Dart and Fiora. I think it works pretty well.

Sekana Katayama: Hehe, thanks! I'm glad you like these.

Charlie: Hehe, thanks for all the reviews guys! Screw the admins, you guys deserve a bit of recognition and appreciation. I love ya, I'll try to get the next chapter out soon!


	30. The Fall of Kiyoko

Charlie: Ahaha… yeah, late again…sowry. Erm, I'll save comments until the end. As for this chapter, I needed to break away from the meat of the Eternal series. It'll still have elements from the Eternal series, but it won't be the main part of this Chapter.

* * *

**The Eternal Quest Break**

The Fall of Kiyoko

Alan ran out of the inn looking pale and ragged. He sported a nasty gash on the right side of his arm. Immediately, he attracted everyone's attention as the lord healers and lords as well as the man he was screaming madly too.

"CHARLIE CHARLIE CHARLIE CHARLIE!"

The innkeeper fought his way past Hector and Priscilla, trampled over Serra, and fell over Lyn before finally making it to Alan, who was currently thrashing about in Kate and Brian's restraining grip.

"I hear you what is it!"

"It's Kiyoko! She's… not acting normal!"

Everyone fell over.

"Be more descriptive if you please?" Charlie said after letting out a sigh.

"Well, she has a sinister air about her."

"That happens sometimes."

"She's wearing black."

"…THAT happens at times too." Charlie sighed. "Alan, did you hit your head?"

"A black lace skirt that left almost nothing to the imagination."

"WHAT!"

"With purple lipstick and dark eye shadow."

Kate, Brian and Charlie exchanged looks among the confused lords and healers. Something was seriously wrong with their young friend. But as the trio, after handing the still delirious Alan over to the healers, headed towards the inn, a slender dark figure gently walked, no floated out the front door and landed softly on the snow. Immediately, almost every male head turned to gawk at the girl. Her body was clad in nothing but a tight silky lace corset and her long dress was quite see-trough. The girl's hair flowed about her like a see of black, and her lips were painted a dark purple to match the black shadows beneath her eyes. A pair of milky white arms protruded from underneath the ocean of her hair.

"Wow…is that Kiyoko?"

"You mean that girl who hangs around the innkeeper and the archer guy?"

"Yeah, Charlie's supposedly adoptive sister."

"She's quite a looker."

"Hell, she's downright hot!"

As the murmurs pervaded throughout the crowd, nobody paid attention to the quiet conversation going on between the black clad girl and her three friends.

"Who the hell are you?" Charlie asked calmly.

"Why, don't you recognize me? Your friend and near sister Kiyoko? How could you forsake me so?"

"Bolshevik!" Kate growled. "Kiyoko would NEVER even DREAM of wearing a corset, much less a dress."

"But it is me dear friend."

"Right, and Kiyoko doesn't talk like that either." Brian said. "I don't know what evil spirit you are to have possessed her, but you shall be gone!"

Without further word, the ground underneath Charlie, Kate and Brian exploded in a cloud of snow and dust. Only then did the other people realize that the new girl was not friendly, but before anyone could draw their blades, a black aura surrounded them all, immobilizing each person to the spot. All but one young girl succumbed to the paralyzing mist.

As the black girl stepped from the smoke, her hands cackled with black magic and a dimming glyph shone on her head. She laughed coldly as she surveyed her paralyzed pray.

"You will do nicely for mindless minions…" She said coldly and a magic circle surrounded the entire town.

But before the sorceress could say her incantation, a beam of golden light shot at her from above. The girl jerked at the last second, narrowly avoiding the beam that drilled a six-foot deep hole into the ground and completely vaporized the snow in a five-foot radius.

The girl looked up and quickly jumped as three more beams of light rained down upon her. As she landed, she was suddenly aware of three figures standing around her, two holding staves behind her neck and one pointing the tip of a killing edge at her throat. All three of her assailents had stony cold looks in their eyes.

"I'm going ask you one more time." Charlie said pressing the point of his sword against the girl's throat. "Who are you, and what did you do to Kiyoko?"

The girl's cold laugh resonated through the valley, sending chills down the spines of anyone who heard her.

"I am Kiyoko… only now I see the light." She snapped her fingers and her three assailants flew through the air, each doing a summersault and landing on his or her feet. "I've realized I have the power to take over the world. And you my dear brother will be POWERLESS to stop me. Though, I could use your reflexes. What say you? Join me and we can rule the world together!"

Charlie spat at the sorceress. "You're not Kiyoko, you're someone using Kiyoko's body."

"Au contraire…" The girl smiled. "I am Kiyoko, only now I have someone to guide me. Someone who doesn't hold me back like you did!"

"Who might that someone be?" Charlie asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Shame…" Kate said.

"About what?"

"That we won't know your possesser when we kill it…"

"What are you tal-!"

Kiyoko barely dodged the beam of white light Kate's staff shot out. The female bishop cursed, but her counterpart immediately leapt to the air with his staff at the ready, bearing down upon the possessed the girl. Kiyoko cursed as she dodged another bolt of light and quickly took to the skies, heading onto the higher parts of the mountain. Kate and Brian cursed, quickly pulling out ornate wands and casting a spell on themselves before turning around and blasting Charlie with a bolt of blue light. The swordmaster quickly became airborne, jumping from ledge to ledge with simple ease. The three gave chase against the sorceress.

Kiyoko looked back and saw her adversaries floating up after her. She cursed the fact that Silent Springs carried the largest inventory of strange staves than any other land, and the float staff happened to be the one of many that she considered a nuisance. Unfortunately, as the float staff drew from the powers of the winds, there was no way to stop the near katabatic winds that raged about at the pinnacle of Mt. Silent Springs. So in retaliation, she began to fill the skies below with lances of fire arrows.

Charlie, Kate and Brian weren't the least bit deterred as they swerved among the deadly arrows in the skies. Those that couldn't be dodged were cut through or blasted with Holy lances. Soon, the combatants reached the peak of the mountain.

"You three are powerful adversaries." Kiyoko said with an evil grin. "Unfortunately, since you refuse to join me, I must now dispose of you."

"You won't get away with this." Charlie growled. He gripped his killing edge tightly. Yet, he was torn. He did not want to hurt the girl he loved so dearly as a sister, yet, he did not know how to strike at the spirit inside of her. Kate and Brian had their de-enchantment staves, but he was helpless.

"Oh, I will." Kiyoko said. "Come Charlie, one last chance? Join me and we can rule this world, and dimensions beyond! I'll gladly share power with you as your sister, or do you prefer…" She smiled seductively.

Now Charlie was CERTAIN that he was no longer talking to Kiyoko. Giving a battle cry, Charlie shot forward, his blade gleaming in the sun for they were already above the clouds. The girl threw her body aside and turned around in a spin as the swordsman flashed past her. Her hands glowed and beams of fire lanced from energy balls around her, striking at the swordsman. Charlie twisted in midair and dove, dodging the initial burst, but to his dismay, her fire arrows quickly looped in midair and headed for him again. Charlie groaned and sped off. Brian and Kate wasted no time, while the girl was distracted, both let loose shine spells, striking the sorceress in the back.

Kiyoko lurched from the hits, but she too quickly recovered. Whirling around, she summoned more arrows and lanced it out at the two bishops. Kate gave a silent signal to Brian and quick shot forward, launching a wall of shine spells, completely obliterating the fire arrows. She charged straight for the possessed girl, her staff now in two parts, one part was a hallow shell, while the other was now a long slender blade.

The young sorceress smiled as she got ready a physical barrier, but just as she put it up, Kate suddenly cut, diving hard. Before Kiyoko could react, the aura spell that was hidden behind Kate's body slammed into her head on. The black sorceress screamed in pain as she weathered the hit. But as the worst of the spell was over, she looked up to see Charlie hurling towards her, his sword at the ready. Caught between Kate who had now come up behind her and Charlie who was charging her front, Kiyoko had no choice but to dodge to the side.

The moment she did so, the fire arrows she hurled at Charlie slammed into her as the swordmaster altered his direction, causing the arrows to shift their trajectory, blasting Kiyoko back into the clouds.

Charlie and Kate floated there panting while Brian blanketed the clouds with Purges. After he was done, the trio waited for any sign of her survival. Moments later, a beam of light shot from the clouds and narrowly missed blasting Kate's head off.

The trio scattered as Kiyoko, now glowing, shot from the clouds, deadly energy cracking at her hands. She drew level with the three fighters and laughed.

"That was a great warm up, but now playtime is over!"

Energy lanced out from all sides of her and pummeled her opponents, blasting them out of the sky. She followed them as the fell forty thousand feet, continuously blasting away with dark magic.

Suddenly, her concentration was broken as she sensed a flash. Quickly dodging, Kiyoko missed the blade by mere seconds as another girl with spiked black hair flew by.

Hitomi, seeing that she missed her target, cursed under her breath and let fly a series of spikes and explosives, covering her escape. She quickly dived to where her friends were plummeting towards Silent Springs at neckbreaking speeds. Catching up, she nudged all three falling bodies closer together, and set off a flash. Three beams of tracking light shot from the ground below, catching the falling bodies in the light and gently lowering them the rest of the way.

Kiyoko watched the scene unfold before her…

'Shit…the others are awake…' Realize that attacking the entire village would not be a wise course of action, she decided to live to fight another day. Pulling a cloak around her, she shot off into the distance, searching for a place to hide out, and plot her next move.

Priscilla, Serra and Lucius were careful to gently place the three, now smoking bodies into the snow before running up, brandishing healing staves. Hitomi landed not far away, and as soon as she did, Hector approached her.

"What was that all about?"

Hitomi shook her head. "I don't know…but it seems like she was…"

"…Possessed."

Hitomi turned around and found Glen with the other villiagers heading up the path. "I've sensed it, she's been possessed by a terrible dark magic. A person who comes from beyond the grave seeking revenge."

"What can we do now?" Hector asked.

"Nothing." Glen said. "There is nothing you can do for now. Rest, and rebuild. We will deal when the times comes. But for now, be wary. Think about those who you have killed in the past."

Then the druid turned and walked away. The villagers around him though scattered to help with the rebuilding.

---

Samantha focused hard, moved her arms stiffly up and in one graceful sweep launched the golf ball a good two hundred yards.

"Damnit!" Roland cried as he saw the drive Samantha made. "How does she do it!"

Elimine beamed brightly at the girl. "Hey, you know what they say about girls who follow in my footstep. We'll beat you men at anything."

"That's true." Athos said. "She did kick you butt at arm wrestling."

Roland blushed at the memory. "Oh be quiet. And what are you doing up here you old coot? Aren't you still alive?"

"So I am." Athos said calmly as he walked up to take his drive.

"Why aren't you down on Elibe then?" Elimine asked as she watched Athos into his back swing.

"Because, I need to borrow something from you." Athos said as he drove his ball a fair distance.

Elimine groaned as the four began to walk across the field. "Again? You STILL have my hammer."

"I was gonna return that soon."

"And my cookbook."

"That too."

"And spatula."

"Hey! I use it to cook! You have plenty."

"And my panties?"

"Okay…lets not go there." Athos said quickly dodging Elimine's murderous glare. "The point is, I need to borrow Aureola. Please, it's to save the world!"

"Oh THAT old thing? Go right ahead, it's not like I'll ever use it again." Elimine said with a shrug as she popped her ball onto the green."

"Oh…really?" Athos asked?

"Yeah, go ahead." Elimine said. "Now… about my underwear."

"I swear, it was Roland who wanted them." Athos said.

Roland shot daggers at Athos as Elimine faced him with daggers in her eyes.

"Roland?"

"Well…uhm…" The great and glorious Roland suddenly found himself dumbstruck. Samantha giggled at the antics of these great heroes, who despite their fame and power were really nice to her. She quickly popped her ball into the green and it miraculously rolled in.

"YAY! I HIT IT IN AGAIN!" She cried cheerfully.

Roland groaned and threw his club down. "That's it! I give up."

Athos laughed and looked down at the score sheet. "Oh come on man…you're only losing by…uhm… fifty seven strokes! Don't give up now!"

"Oh HAR HAR old man!" Roland shot. "Come on, lets go. Looks like Sturm wants something."

The turned around and saw the Grim Reaper heading across the field. Demitra was close behind him, in her beautiful human form.

"Need something Sturm?" Elimine called.

Sturm, despite the fact his entire bony head was shrouded by his cloak, still managed to give off an appearance of checking Elimine out before the priestess narrowly missed taking his head off with a club.

"Yeah…" Sturm said nervously as he straightened himself. "Samantha, apparently a small group of your friends have started on the Eternal Quest. If they succeed, you'll go back to the realm of the living sooner than expected."

"Really?" Samantha's eyes lit up.

"Yep." Sturm said. "Anyways, just came by to drop off that piece of news. Oh and Elimine, I love your choice in underwear."

The priestess growled and turned towards Roland. "It's all your fault!"

Roland looked around confused… "What did I do…? Elimine…why are you….crap…now would be a good time to run wouldn't it?"

Samantha and Athos laughed happily as they watched St. Elimine chase the Great Hero Roland across the golf course. Behind him, Sturm chucked as he and Demitra walked away, Sturm, feeling out of place, took on a slightly handsome human form.

"Elimine's quite temperamental eh?"

"All girls are when you crack at their panties." Demitra said calmly. "ESPECIALLY virgins who intend to STAY that way."

"But shouldn't she be kind and gentle towards others? She IS a priestess"

"…" Demitra was shocked at Sturm's apparent stupidity. "Please tell me you're just joking with me."

"Only if you'll be 'nice' to me later." Sturm said suggestively with a smirk.

Demitra, to Sturm's surprise, returned the smile, loosening her clothes coyly to show a tad more skin. "Maybe if you're a good boy." Then she winked at him and slinked away, leaving the Grim Reaper staring at her retreating figure slack-jawed. Sturm shivered and resumed his skeletal body.

"I gotta start cutting back…"

---

On Eternia, Eriene tracked the Tsarevich. Things weren't looking good. The resistance leader suddenly showed up, and revealed himself to be an Imperial Assassin. And just as she thought things couldn't get worse, Patric took a stone handed to him from the Tsarevich and pulled out his old power sword. With a hum, the blade came to life, a sheen of energy surrounding the shiny metal.

'Oh shit…' Eriene thought. 'Troy and Jerry are NOT going to be happy."

She retreated from her hiding spot and returned to her inn. Things were getting complicated, and she knew that with the Imperial Assassin around, her job just got a lot more complicated.

Meanwhile, Patric had put away his power sword and was now following Chris back to the hotel with a Warhammer 40k book in his hand. Unbeknownst to him, every single female they passed between the ages of 15 and 28 swooned at the sight of him. And he was equally oblivious to the flowers, hankerchiefs and underwear being tossed at him as well, using his sharp sense of hearing to dodge the articles and follow his thoroughly embarrassed friends back to the hotel.

Once inside, Chris breathed a great sigh of relief as the disappointed thong of beautiful screaming girls were detained by the unfortunate Imperial Guards. Chris angrily snatched the book from his friend's hand and smacked him upside the head.

"DID YOU NOT SEE YOUR ADORING FANS?"

Patric looked confused. "No…what fans?"

Chris and Hiro smacked their heads and pointed out the door at the mob of girls swooning at the fact that Patric had looked up. Then with equal exaggeration, they pointed to Callista, Serena and Eunomia who all flushed and fell to the ground in a state of bliss the moment Patric made eye contact.

"Oh…yeah…I tend to ignore that."

"Well, we have a problem with that!" Chris said. "Especially whe…oh gods, another one?"

Hiro and Patric turned to find a girl walking towards them. But to Patric and Hiro, the girl looked anything but happy. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes puffy from crying. She walked right past the three men and heap of girls and headed up the stairs.

"Okay…that was weird." Chris said.

"Oh shit…guys." Patric said. "I think I saw a Final Testament in her pocket."

"Does that mean…"

"SHE'S GOING TO JUMP!" Hiro cried.

All three of them left their swooning girlfriends, sisters and (to Patric) acquaintances on the ground and shot up after the somber girl. They turned the corner and found the elevator shooting up to the top floor. Wasting no time, Chris commandeered the service elevator and cranked the plasma generators to full. Soon, all three were being literally launched to the top floor.

Unfortunately, when they got there, the girl was already at the edge. Her tears flowed freely now, as she clutched two letters.

Patric suddenly gasped. "I know her! She's old Jimmy's fiancée! They were supposed to get married."

"Then…why is she jumping?" Chris asked.

"Oh…yeah… Jims died last week…got his skull ripped right out of his head."

"Ouch…" Chris said.

Suddenly, Hiro launched himself towards the edge, just seconds before the girl leapt into the air. Chris and Patric were astonished at his speed, and were even more amazed when he managed to grab her hand before she slipped out of reach. Below them, a massive crowd had gathered.

"LET ME GO YOU PERVERT!" The girl cried. "LET ME GO!"

"NO!" Hiro cried. "IT'S NOT WORTH IT!"

"I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO LIVE FOR! MY LOVE WAS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE! OH PLEASE LET ME DIE!"

"NOOO! YOU MUST LIVE!"

"NOOO! LET GO OF ME! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM!"

Patric turned towards Chris. "Yano…if we weren't in public…I'd stab her…end all our problems."

"Don't talk to me…I think my ears are bleeding." Chris groaned.

"YES YOU CAN! YOU'LL FIND LOVE AGAIN!"

"I CAN'T! I'M TOO UGLY!"

"YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! JUST SMILE AND YOU'LL SHINE LIKE THE BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY!"

The girl turned her face up and gazed into the eyes of the most beautiful man she's ever met. "Really?"

Hiro smiled. "Really."

The girl smiled and passed out, letting Hiro pull her up.

"Well, looks like you got yourself a pretty girl to look after." Chris joked.

Hiro flushed and Patric just shrugged and went back to his reading. Unknown to them however, a certain Grand Duchess, after waking from her stupor, heard the commotion and made her way up. And she was not happy to see the love of her life, cradling a extraordinarily beautiful girl.

Callista turned and went back into the elevator. "Oh so that's how it's gonna be huh?"

Her evil, yet sobbing cackle was heard all the way to the bottom floor.

_So, with another dead weight, our heroes make no progress, are unfortunately burdened with girl problems. With the unexpected turn of events, how will our heroes futures turn out!_

_I dunno, I just work here… TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE FINALE TO THE ETERNAL QUEST SERIES!

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_

Charlie: Yar… I thought an update on the real world would be appropriate. Oh boy…I'm dead tired. I'll get reviewer responses in my profile either tomorrow or Saturday. I just wanna get this thing uploaded for now, but I appreciate all your support. Thanks guys, your support really pulls me through this.


	31. Let Me Kill You, I'll Give You Turkey

Charlie: Okay, a few things. First of all, since quick edit is a complete piece of feces, and I'm too lazy to use other word processing programs, I will be cutting down on ellipses and apostrophes. Meaning language may seem a tad bit stiff at times. I'm sorry, but the stupid syntax problems are just driving me insane.

Secondly, Turkey Day is Thursday. (I say Turkey Day because my family isn't Christian and we basically only celebrate for the turkey.) So, in light of that, this chappy will encompass a Turkey Day special. And for you ladies, prepare to see a bishi get turned into a turkey slave. As for everyone who have shown a dedicated support through putting my humble fic on their favorites list or their alert list, you guys get an extra surprise. Oh because of the Turkey Day festival (I like turkey, and gravy). The Finale is going to be in two parts. One chapter for the Dragons, and one chapter for the Fires of Mount Doom!- err I mean the Isle of Eternal Storms

Finally, for the benefit of those of us who are not on or have not written any stories lately, or have just not bothered to read the front page (like me). is coming out with this review reply thing that basically lets me replay to the review via a e-mail system. Okay, to be honest, I really do not know how well this thing will work out, however; with the generous support that I receive from everyone, this system will be easier for me, especially since it also displays the review for me to see (albeit completely devoid of logical syntax.) This also kills ANY argument we can throw against about being able to respond to reviewers; I really do not want to fight this, especially since I KNOW I have enemies on Unfortunately, this also will discriminate against those of you who do not have an account. It really frustrates me because a few of my most loyal reviewers do so anonymously (Samantha comes to mind). So, for anonymous reviewers, I've set up a little reviewer corner in my profile. I'll probably rotate it so you'll see the responses for the last three chapters at a time. I'm really sorry about this, but what can I say? like the US government, like to make things discriminated, capitalistic, and inefficient.

Now that that is over, enjoy your holidays everyone! Eat lotsa turkeys for me! Oh and in the spirit of the season, the title of this chapter will be altered from what I originally said it was going to be. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: If I owned Fire Emblem, Fourteen Days would be an anime, not a fanfiction.

* * *

**The Eternal Quest Finale Part I**

Let Me Kill You, I'll Give You Turkey

The morning sun rose silently over the hill as our heroes silently rose from their beds and prepared to leave Carson Port towards a town called Carrassus where they may ascend the mountain of the dragons.. They had a long way to go before they complete their journey. Kevin glanced down at his transdimentional watch that Tsar Nikolas had given him. So far, only about five minutes had passed in Silent Springs. He hoped that nobody missed them yet.

Meanwhile, Jaffar and Patric sulked to the back of the group as they watched everyone else load the hover cars. But as they watched, the assassins became aware of another pair of eyes on their backs.

"Dead man… do you feel it?" Patric whispered stiffly to Jaffar.

The other assassin did nothing but give a noncommittal grunt, but his body language indicated that he too know they're being watched. Patric's eyes scanned the field in front of him, before he calmly walked towards the loading hover cars as if to help, then back again when Chris told him to be patient. Using the walk, he managed to scan the entire surrounding area.

"Old warehouse…second one on the right, third floor, fifth window on the right. One person visible, female, has twin throwing daggers and a WUL CCa Laser Sniper."

"A what?"

"Nevermind… what do we do about her?" Patric asked slapping himself for forgetting that he was an outsider.

"Leave her… no sudden moves though."

"Of course…unless she wants a dagger in her throat."

Jaffar smiled coldly. "I like your style."

Meanwhile, the loading crew was running into some technical difficulties, or to be more specific, one single technical difficulty, revolving around a young man named Hiro.

"We can't take her." Chris said flatly as Hiro pouted in front of him and his sister. "There's not enough room, and I think she made it clear to us that she won't be able to help in combat when she needed you to carry her half way across the lane to the hover cars."

"But, if we leave her, she'll break down again!" Hiro argued. "Please, there's someway you can help Rochelle."

"No can do." Callista said coldly, shooting Hiro a deathly look. "Unless she wants to become Radioactive Plasma, there is no way we can bring her along."

"Oh come on…please?" Hiro asked. "You don't really want her death to be hanging over your heads do you?"

At this point, Eunomia came over. "Look, Hiro, the thing is, we don't have enough seats. We already booted another soldier when Patric came aboard, but at least he can fight. Since Serena's already taking up the position of 'dead weight,' we really don't need another one."

"Oh come on sis, you of all people should understand!"

"I do." Eunomia said plainly. "There's just nothing to be done about it."

Hiro looked around frantically for an out. "Ahh! Sir Lowen!" He called out. "Please, you must help me. Surely with your traveling experience, you'll know how to help us."

"Well…I uh…" Lowen stuttered.

"He means that his version of travel is completely different from your version." Dart said motioning to the hover cars. "Normally, if we run out of mounts, we just double up…so unless the young lass is willing to sit on someone's lap…" He let the sentence hang.

"I can sit on Hiro's lap!" The new girl, Rochelle exclaimed cheerfully.

Callista's eyes raged at this. "OH NO YOU DON'T!"

Everyone looked at her with a knowing glow in their eye, except for Lowen and Hiro who were both utterly confused.

"Why not?" Hiro asked.

"Because, it's inappropriate." Callista said. "She can sit on Eunomia's lap, but not on Hiro's."

"Why?" Hiro asked. "I'm sure I can hold her better than Euni can."

Callista's gaze darkened. "I'm pretty sure you can you filthy pig…" She muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Dart asked smirking. "I didn't quite catch that."

"ARGH! NEVER MIND!" Callista said. "I'm just saying it is inappropriate. You might do something to her."

"Okay…then she can sit in my lap." Eunomia shrugged. "I don't care, she doesn't look heavy."

Chris at this point cut in. "All right, it's settled…the next person who argues gets their head chopped off!"

"Even me?" Serena asked with tears in her eyes.

"Oh…I didn't mean you Serena…please don't cry…" Chris hurried off to comfort his girlfriend while everyone else held in their laughs for as long as they could before letting forth.

"Oh my god…that man is SO whipped." Fiora cried with tears coming out of her eyes from her laughter.

"Tell me about it." Callista said looking at his brother's pathetic pleadings with his girlfriend.

So by and by things got settled. Rochelle settled grumpily onto Eunomia's lap, stealing quick glances at Hiro and tossing Callista, who happened to be snuzzled up against his arm, looks of pure unadulterated hatred.

The roads from Carson Port and Carrassus were very well kept and traffic was light early in the morning. It was a two day journey by hover car, but by mid day the first day, the had taken a good chunk of the journey out of the way. While in the hover cars, the Elibeans were quickly given a crash course on modern Eternian sciences and technology. Most of the information was pretty over their heads, but the enthusiastic ones were quite intrigued.

Jaffar however, kept to himself in the back of the trailing hover car. He and Patric kept a constant lookout for their little stalker. By midday, the were almost convinced that she had left them, until…

"She's back…" Patric said. "I hear her hover bike. She's alone, trailing us with a good silencer, but I can hear her."

"How far back?" Jaffar asked.

"Out of the range of her pretty little WUL, but it's close enough in case she's got a nastier rifle on hand, like a Winterfield."

Jaffar merely nodded his head. "You think she knows we're onto her?"

"Unless she can read our minds." Patric muttered back. "She's not a threat yet, but I have a Winterfield CCPD class II sniper down here if things get ugly."

Jaffar nodded again, and went back to staring ahead stoically.

The rest of the day went by without many events. Soon, the group stopped at a small tourist out. It was a simple shrine surrounded by lodges and restaurant. The group disseminated into the lodges and everyone got their own room at the influence of the Tsarevich again.

Soon, everyone except for the Elibeans, Hiro, Callista and Rochelle were in their rooms resting up for the long trip the next day. The Elibeans though, wanted to learn about the shrine and Hiro and Callista volunteered to show them around. Rochelle, well, she just decided to tag along because of Hiro.

"What is this place?" Fiora asked looking up at the monument. It was a statue of a wise looking man, dressed head to toe in a thick robe.

"It is a shring to the Tactician from the NorthEast." Hiro explained. "He was a famous war hero thousands of years ago when a nation on a neighboring continent called Uiriel attacked the Eternal Capital. At first, the Uirieans completely slaughtered our troops in one massacre after another. But then, one day, a man from Carrassus came and lead our troops to victory. His name is lost to history, yet his legacy lives until today."

The Elibeans admired the monument. True, it was rather plain, but the figure gave off an aura that seemed to boost the morale of everyone present.

Suddenly, Jaffar sensed it again. He glaced to his right, and in his peripheral vision, he saw a barrel of a rifle taking aim at… Hiro. Without thinking, Jaffar reached into his cloak and pulled out the energy dagger. As he fumbled with the activation button, Jaffar tracked the barrel of the rifle, knowing that the assassin was taking aim. Sighing, the man threw the clunky energy weapons onto the ground and pulled out his killing edges. In a heartbeat, the deadly daggers hurled through the air and pierced the deadly weapon, ripping it from the girl's hands and causing it to explode.

Chaos and confusion ensued as Hiro and Callista dove onto the ground, covering Rochelle with their bodies. Multiple snaps filled the air as Fiora and Lowen both activated their force pikes and Jaffar finally managed to get his energy sword to work.

Now faced with three glowing weapons and being drastically outnumbered, Eriene decided that it was now time to run before she lost her head. So swiftly, she took off down the road, hoping to reach the bush where she hid her hover bike.

Looking behind her, she saw three figures give chase, and behind them, four more figures with mid-range laser rifles. She looked ahead. It was still a good quarter of a mile before the Magebrush where she hid her bike. As a bolt of sizzling plasma slammed into a Duplicate Falcon almost five feet wide of her, Eriene thanked the heaves that her chasers had horrible aim.

Jessica cursed as the recoil on her laser rifle bounced and hit her straight in the jaw, her shots going way off the mark and striking an animal off to the right.

"Jessica… your aim is HORRIBLE." Kevin said as he too squeezed off a shot. It was still wide, but at least closer than the tactician's shot.

"Oh shut up…" Jessica grumbled as she squeezed off another shot, this time nearly hitting Fiora in the head.

"WATCH IT BACK THERE!" The Pegasus Knight yelled as she ran.

"Jessica… I think…"

"That you should…"

"Just stop trying." Clide and Clive said finishing each other's sentences, each squeezing off shots that came close to hitting the assassin.

"Oh shut up you…" Jessica groaned. "Wait…I feel it coming…."

_So, as Jessica kept trying to TK, we mov-_

"I KNEW IT!" Jessica screamed into the sky. "GOD DAMNIT YOU PISS ME OFF!"

_Sucks for you doesn't it?_

"Oh yeah?" The tactician screamed as she drew out a small bag. "I've got something for you!"

The tactician threw the bag onto the ground and it's contents spread into the soil. Moments later, a glyph appeared in the ground and a young man materialized inside the glyph.

"What the HELL did you do to me?" The omniscient one asked now trapped in a mortal body.

"Made you visible so I won't get freaked out." Jessica said sticking her tongue out.

Kevin and the twins immediately slapped their foreheads.

"This is going to get ugly…"

Back at the monument, Hiro and Callista checked Rochelle for a pulse. The girl had fainted the moment the chaos started. After the two made sure she was still alive, Hiro gingerly picked up the unconscious girl and carried her into the lodge with an anxious Callista on his tail. Once inside, he placed the girl on her bed and tucked her in and left her to her dreams.

"She's cute isn't she?" Callista said bitterly as the two walked from Rochelle's room.

"What are you getting at?" Hiro asked.

"You know damn well what I'm getting at." Callista said. "So was the last eight months nothing to you?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Why the hell would I be jealous of that angster?" Callista screwed up her face. "OH NOES, MY LIFE IS OVER NOW THAT JIMBO IS DEAD! CRY! Puhlease."

"Then why are you so cold around her?" Hiro asked, stopping.

"Because…" Callista's voice broke. "Because… gah, I don't know. Just whatever."

Hiro sighed and moved up to the crying girl, wrapping his arms around her. "Hey, come on now. Don't cry. You know nobody's ever going to take your place in my heart."

"That's what they all say."

"I mean it."

"You mean it now."

"Callista."

"What Hiro?"

Finding himself unable to respond with words, he did the only thing that came to mind. Placing his hands on her cheeks, Hiro leaned down and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. Callista's eyes widened in shock before she leaned into his body and returned his kiss with all her heart.

"AHEM!"

The lovers broke apart blushing as they turned to find all the Elibeans and a new mysterious young man watching them.

"Oh, don't stop on our account." Dart snickered, receiving a hearty smack over the head.

"Uhm, so, uhh, did you guys catch her?" Hiro asked trying to shift the focus.

"Nah, she got away." Jaffar grumbled. "Because SOMEBODY kept trying to shoot us." He shot a glare at his tactician.

"Well SORRY! Charlie was distracting me."

"Whoa…Charlie?" Callista asked waving her arms.

"That jerkoff over there." Jessica said jabbing a thumb towards the mysterious young man. "I remembered I still had that weird magic powder Athos gave me. So I decided to make him real. At least we'll know where his voice is coming from."

"That's great." Charlie sighed. "Now feed me."

"Shut up!" Jessica groaned. "I'm going to bed."

With those parting words, the tactician stormed into the lodge. The rest stared blankly at her flaming path before they too said their quiet goodnights and turned in for the night.

The morning came with very little fanfare. There was a slight argument over the seating arrangement on the hover cars again now that Charlie was physically present with the group. But after watching Jessica get raged at by the angry Tsarevich, Charlie used his powers to expand the hover cars to fit two more people. Now they could carry Charlie and Rochelle without having to have anyone sit in anyone else's lap. It was then that everyone realized that Charlie's omnipotent state and endless powers could help them breeze through the eternal quest with almost no problem.

Unfortunately, the found out otherwise.

About ten miles outside of Carrassus, the hover cars floated along at a decent speed. The day had gone with little disturbance. The chilly Carrassus nights were drawing in on the group and they couldn't wait until they got to town and into a warm bed. Over them, a shimmering light shone.

"Wow…so pretty." Jessica and Fiora cooed as they looked up. "What are those lights?"

"That's Aurora13987." Eunomia explained. "They can only be seen in the northern skies. It's really beautiful."

"Wait… 13987? There are that many auroras in your land?" Kevin asked.

"No, the number's just arbitrary." Callista went on. "We have no idea why we add it."

"Probably the year it was discovered." Rochelle commented.

The rest of the Eternians just shrugged and the hover crafts pressed forward. Meanwhile, in the trailing car, Patric and Jaffar's senses picked up again.

"She brought reinforcements." Jaffar muttered.

"No, it's not her. She was stealthy; these are bandits."

"Ain't that fun." Jaffar managed to say before he was thrown from the vehicle. Along with almost everyone not strapped in well. Jaffar looked up and saw the hover car trapped in an energy netting. Looking to the front, he saw that the lead car was similarly trapped.

"Perfect…" Jaffar grumbled as he activated his energy sword. Beside him, Patric drew his power sword and pressed a crystal to the hilt. Instantly, a bluish purpley sheen surrounded the blade. Jaffar closed his eyes and concentrated on the bandits headed towards them, their energy blades coming to life. Around him, he could hear the snap of force pikes and laser rifles getting primed.

"Inferno-Hero." He heard a voice mutter beside him. He looked to the right and found Hiro standing there wielding a turquoise energy blade.

"Who?"

"He's the leader of the bandits in these parts." Hiro said as he ducked to avoid a high bolt of plasma. "Brutal, efficient, bloodthirsty. He'll kill all the men, rape all the women and drown all the children."

"Ouch." Jaffar said. He thought back to his days with the Black Fang and shuddered. He himself wasn't much different.

But before he could dwell on any more thoughts, the bandits came within range and a wall of energy bolts lanced from the rifles carried by the Imperial Guardsmen. Without warning, the direct combat units charged, and clashed with the bandits, energy blade against energy blade, force pike against force pike. Behind them, the deadly laser lanced out again as the guards reloaded.

Jaffar swiped the head off one bandit and turned to block another's blow. In his peripheral vision, he saw Eunomia and the three Druids standing on a high plateau, deadly energy crackling in their hands as bolts of magic rained onto the bandit's vanguard. On his other side, the Tsarevich and his friend fought furiously to keep Rochelle, Serena and the tactician (who had given up on trying to fire a gun) safe. Jaffar was surprised to note that the newcomer, the so-called omniscient one was sitting in a lounge chair, sipping lemonade and reading a book. But before he could ponder further, another blade came at him and he threw his energies into fighting.

Chris jammed his energy blade into another bandit's gut as they kept coming at him, realizing that the women behind him and his friend were unable to fight.

"CHARLIE!" He roared. "A LITTLE HELP HERE?"

The omniscient one looked up from his beverage and book, contemplated for a moment, and the fell back with a shrug.

"I'll fight when I feel like it." He said turning the page. His actions did attract the attention of a few bandits, but as the approached him, weapons raised, the man simply snapped his finger and the bandits burned into ash. He calmly continued to sip his lemonade.

"You're an ass." Chris muttered as he blocked another blade. Charlie just smiled and continued with his activities.

Back on the field, Fiora and Dart fought back to back. The bandits obviously weren't used to seeing a young girl like Fiora fight; almost flinching when they saw her. Their little movements however, were enough to let the Pegasus Knight to dive in for the kill. Behind her, Dart was going crazy with the plasma pistols.

"DIE YOU BLOODY INFERNO FIRE SOLDIER!" He screamed as he shot wildly into the crowd.

The battle raged on as neither side gained the advantage. One by one, the Imperial Guards became overwhelmed as they were slowly picked off by the sheer number of bandits present. Soon, only three guardsmen remained with our heroes as the pressed close around the three defenseless girls.

"Okay, I think we're in trouble." Lowen said.

"What tipped you off Einstein? Callista asked as she tossed a energy dagger into the gut of a charging bandit.

"Charlie, will you PLEASE help us?" Chris asked.

"I would, but this book written by Lord Pents Apprentice is just so fascinating."

"He's useless." Hiro said "What do we-"

Before he could finish his sentence, a stray bolt of plasma flew out, slipping between the defenders and hitting Rochelle square in the chest. The girl's eyes widened and she fell forward with a blank expression. Hiro looked on with a look of shock, then pain, and then anger. He turned towards the bandits looking like the manifestation of the Fourangers. Within moments, the bandits lay dead in their spot as Hiro stood over the bloody field, crying out in frustration. Everyone else stood back and gave him space when he strode over to Rochelle's body. Never before had they seen him as angry as this before. Never before had they seen him fight like he did.

The rest of the trip into town was spent in silence. Everyone gave Hiro space as he held Rochelle's body all the way. Not even Callista had the courage to approach him. Once in the village, the group stopped at a temple, where the local paster, Aidarona Finarfin, blessed the girl. Rochelle was officially buried at 8:03 PM Carrassus time that night.

Afterwards, the group checked into a hotel. Most of them were completely spent, and they hit the sack immediately. After the near death experience, all pretenses were dropped. Chris and Serena never left each other's side that night, and Fiora and Dart made it known to everyone that they were now a couple, enduring both Kevin and the twins jesting. Nothing lasted long though, pretty soon, everyone was asleep…or almost everyone.

Once he thought everyone was asleep, Hiro slowly rose from his bed and snuck out his room, glad for the fact that Callista was too afraid of her brother to spend the night with him. It was nearly midnight, and Hiro needed a drink. So the minute he was outside, he made a beeline the nearest bar.

"Give me something strong." Hiro said, sitting down at the counter. The barkeeper looked at him and nodded knowingly. "It's a woman right?"

"Just give me the damn drink." Hiro snapped.

The barkeep stepped back. "Okay…kid, whatever you say."

Moments later, Hiro clutched the clear brown liquid in front of him and began to bring it to his lips.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you…" A familiar ominous voice said from his right. "those raiteis would knock you into the next century."

Hiro looked to his right and found the omniscient one sitting there sipping a whiskey.

"Oh shut up." Hiro grumbled. He was about to bring it to his lips again when the cup suddenly burst and the liquid alcohol splattered onto the table, melting a hole in the wood.

"I told you so." Charlie said. He poured him some Veux-ombrages, a famous Carrassus whiskey. "If you want to get wasted so badly, use this."

"Thank you."

The two sat in silence for a while. For a moment, Hiro could've sworn that the omniscient one was signaling someone off to the side, but his alcohol induced mind dismissed it as drabble.

"Charlie."

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

The omniscient one looked at him. "Sure, but before you do, know that I don't know the meaning of life, I suck at conic sections and I am not taking AP Physics."

"Err, I wanted to know if it's possible to love two women at the same time."

"Oh, well, that's complicated." Charlie took a deep sip. "I'll definitely say it is. You just proved it to me."

"Wha? You knew?"

"Anybody with eyes knew that you were in love with Rochelle as much as you were with Callista." Charlie took another sip of his drink. "But you'll get over it. Rochelle was such a ToxicEmoKid. I mean hell, she angsted about the air being too cold. We're in a freaking tundra."

Hiro laughed. "Well, you are the writer. Why don't you do anything about it? And can't you make me stop feeling confused?"

"Ahh…" Charlie finished off his glass and poured another. "I am but a Dreamer of Riddles. Your live are not like a TweekinTinkaToy that I can simply mess with. Once created, you my friends, carve your own path and build your own lives. I merely point you in the right direction."

"Wow…that's deep."

"Nah, I'm just as wasted as a lilchinkkviet." Charlie downed another bottle. "I'm outta here, see ya later. Oh and be nice to Callista."

"Wait..what do you-" Hiro turned to see Charlie gone and his girlfriend replace the man in his vision. "Callista."

"I heard everything."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Callista leaned over and snuggled against him. "I'm here for you. Remember our Destiny's Promise."

Hiro smiled and thought back unto the night when they proclaimed their love for each other on the Dias of All Final back in the capital. "I won't forget."

Dart and Fiora woke up early the next morning. It was barely light out and hardly anybody was stirring. Rolling over, the couple decided to take a walk. On their way out, they heard someone familiar call out their names. They turned to face a panting KevinC.

"Man, what a Pant Burner." The druid groaned. "You two going out for walk?"

Fiora nodded.

"Right, lemme tag along. There is an Antartic Tiger roaming around here."

The three set off down the main avenue before turning onto a smaller road called Calixxte out of town. Kevin seemed to oddly know his way around Eternia very well.

"Kevin." Fiora finally asked, letting curiosity get the better of her. "Why does it seem that you know your way around Eternia well?"

"There's a book in the Silent Springs Archive written by a man named Nikolas Elflame. Inside the book, he talks about being on the open plains of Sacae one day when he met up with a nameless guy and a Nomadtrooperrei. The pair told him in detail of an exotic land filled with strange technology. From their description, he drew a rough map of various cities. I know now that the strange land the pair had talked about is Eternia. Lucky for me, I was intrigued by this book and studied every map to detail."

"Wow." Was all that Dart and Fiora could say. The three walked until they reached an open snowy field with a glacier protruding from the center.

"That is what the Eternians call the Northernsword." Kevin went on. "It points to a group of stars known as the Catrina Stars. They say when the Stars are in alignment with the Sword, a new evil warlord or sorcerer is threatening to take over some world."

Fiora pointed overhead to a group of shiny lights. "Are those it?"

Kevin nodded. "They're aligned. If the legends are true, in some world, someone is trying to take over."

* * *

Kiyoko/Kitty wandered around their palace hidden within a cave. Around them, thousands of phantoms followed them faithfully, like dogs to their master.

"The time has come my pets." Kiyoko/Kitty said. "Soon, Elibe will be ours!" She turned to a rather well decorated phantom. "Come Vaun Harkinian, Silent Springs shall fall by mid-day."

* * *

"But, that's all conjecture." Kevin laughed. "I mean, these are just stories told on Black Nights to scare the children to come home early. There's no way we can prove anything about this glacier and it's Psynergetic connection to those stars. It's just impossible. But, stars do tell us a lot. Perhaps when we're back in Silent Springs, you two would join me for a stargazing session? Your friends can join in as well"

Fiora smiled and nodded. "We'd love to."

The sun was now rising over the horizon, and the three friends walked back into town. They knew that in the day ahead, they would ascend the mountains of the dragons and face the five Dragons of Doom.

Breakfast was a solemn affair. The group ate quickly and hurriedly headed out towards the military base at Carrassus. Now that the group only had three surviving guards, only one hover car was needed. Once they arrived at the military base, a man named Kirtar, General of the Avens, greeted them. The Avens were the swift and deadly fighting force. The general had received word from the capital to expect the Tsarevich and has agreed to lend a hand.

The group was assigned a guide named Sekana Katayami and a demolitions specialist named Aeros Fujita. The Elibeans held their tongues at the fact that the man had the same name as a certain border guard.

The group headed towards the sanctuary of the dragons at which they may ascend the mountains and attack the dragons. Once again, the trip was uneventful, except for some light conversation.

"Where are we going?" Jessica asked about an hour into the trip.

"We're going to the sanctuary and from there we climb the easiest path up the mountain." The guide said.

Chris looked at the guide. Very few people knew about the paths up the mountains of the dragons. "What rank are you?"

"Green Paladin, level 2." The man replied.

Chris nodded and fell silent. Any Paladin level was a extremely high rank in the Eternian military. His gaze fell upon the demolitions expert. Judging from his insignia, he was a Gamer21, trained in the use of MarkII Despair Spreader detonators. The Tsarevich sat back in his seat, satisfied with his contingent.

The Dragon Sanctuary was a well-kept bomb shelter basically. The local villagers seek shelter there whenever the Dragons of Doom got a tad bit wild. Run by a man named Draknal and his wife Addi-Lee, the shelter could with stand anything from a nuclear holocaust to the raging fires of hell. It is said the that soul of the great holy man, Forceuser3, the Jedi Master inhabits the walls after being struck down in front of the sanctuary by the notorious Bounty Hunter AWL. After the fatal blow, it is said that the hunter attempted to enter the sanctuary and release the shield to render the building vulnerable to attack when suddenly; a great SacredBlade from the heavens impaled the man. Since then, no man ever approached the sanctuary with evil intents again.

The sanctuary used a Jackswitch to connect the main hover car path to the mountain path and soon, the group was headed up the mountain, their hearts full of anxiety and a healthy dose of fear. Even Patric, the iron willed Imperial Assassin clutched at his Demonslayer14 Power Blade with a twitchy urgency.

The mountain path was by no means an easy path to travel. Having not been used since the last great Eternian Dragonslayer Aramin RVN sealed the five Dragons of Doom three thousands years prior, no human has traveled the path since. It was in horrible disrepair, and the signs were completely useless. It was only with the help of the OniKiDD (Online Key-In Deployment Drone) and a RWT (Resource Weather Telescope) that the group was able to choke their way up the mountain.

As the minutes dragged into hours, those who were not navigating became restless.

"Okay, explain what we had to do again?" Jessica asked for the umpteenth time.

Kevin sighed and smacked his forehead. "Okay, we need to slay the five Dragons of Doom and then collect their z-animatr gems. Once all five are collected, they will fuse into the KiaSapphire, which we take to the Mountains of Eternal Destruction and destroy it there using the fires from the mountain."

"We passed the shrine of the Fire Hippo!" A soldier suddenly called out as the hover car zoomed past a red sandstone statue of a hippopotamus. All the Eternians plus the three Elibean shamans tensed up while Jessica, Jaffar, Lowen, Fiora and Dart looked around nervously.

"What's going on?" Lowen asked. "Are we there yet?"

"Not quite." Patric said. "But there's a Nightmare3 monster around here. That thing is one nasty son of a gun."

"What does it do?"

"It's a Dark Fiction Wizard." Patric said powering up his sword. "Anyone who attacks becomes either evil or angsty. Or both."

"Like TroyBoy." Chris said. "I think he was attacked before he became an evil overlord."

"He was." Patric said. "Be careful. I hear it. It's lurking in the field of LilyFlowersEx. No sudden movements."

The entire group held still as Hiro slowly glided the hover car across the field towards the opposite side of the field. Unfortunately, just before they were in the safety zone, Jessica couldn't hold it in anymore, and she sneezed.

The monster reacted instantly leaping from it's hiding place and shooting like a Comet24 towards the hover car. Energy blades ignited as all able fighters, jumped to the fore. Chris clutched Serena close to him, keeping the helpless girl safe while Jessica cowered somewhere behind Lowen and Dart.

The energy blades kept the black cloud that was the monster at bay, but it wasn't enough to repel it. So the group and the monster held a staring contest.

Finally, Charlie got annoyed and leaped from his seat and landed between the hover car and the black cloud. The monster attacked, and before anyone knew what happened, a glint of metal flashed through the sky and Charlie stood over a pool of black liquid, sheathing his katana.

"Okay, that's that." The omniscient one said. He jumped back into his seat and pulled out a gaming magazine. "On with it guys, I was just sick of the staring contest."

Hiro pulled himself out of his trance and shifted the hover car in gear, launching the vehicle out of the field. As they left, Chris turned towards Charlie.

"Yano, if you actually fight, we'd get everything done a whole lot quicker"

"Shut up and get me a lemonade." The omniscient one said, his snapping fingers at the ready. The Tsarevich grumbled and fell silent while Serena gave Charlie lemonade. The omniscient one smiled and went back to his state of bliss.

The entrance to the dragon's lair was protected by an old rusted ToSFan9 Defense Robot. After many centuries of disuse, the thing now lay rusted near the side and all Hiro needed to do was to steer around its massive bulk and enter the caverns.

The lair was dimly lit with an eerie red hue from the volcanic lava. Hiro parked the hover car near the entrance and jumped out along with the rest of the group, except for Charlie.

"Aren't you coming deadbeat?" Chris asked.

"Nah." Charlie said. "I might actually have to defend myself."

Chris sighed and gave up. He led the group deeper into the caverns where the dragons dwelled. The lair was straightforward; since the dragons had no need to hide, but since it was custom for all lairs to have a secret passageway, there was a fork halfway into the caves.

"Kilroywusheere." Jessica read the sign over the fork. "Who's Kilroy?"

Jaffar pointed to a rotten skeleton down the right fork. "I assume him."

All the girls, and Lowen, gave an involuntary shudder and edged left.

"So the obvious thing to do would be to go left now." Chris said calmly.

"Yes, that's why we go right." Patric finished firmly and all the males, except for Lowen, brushed passed Kilroy's skeleton and strode down the darkened tunnel. The girl, and Lowen, gave out frightened squeals as the skeleton dropped to the ground. Then they slowly followed, with Serena wishing she had stayed with the omniscient one back at the car.

It was a short walk before the reached their destination. The inner sanctum was a huge cavern, with a platform suspended over lava connected by a drawbridge. In the middle of the floating platform, five shimmering black dragons, each with a different colored forehead gem glared deathly at their intruders.

"Who dares enter the lair of the Dragons of Doom?" The biggest black dragon growled out in an ominous voice. He and his siblings were on their feet facing the intruders.

Chris looked down at the lava and gulped. 'Why always LAVA? Why couldn't it be soda? Or gravy?'

Hiro, seeing Chris' hesitation, faced the dragon eye to eye. "We do. Your reign of evil is over. Prepare to die."

The dragon laughed, his black gem glittering in the light. "You think you could defeat me? Dominus Magnus the Black Dragon of the Dragons of Doom? You puny humans are WAY out of your league, but if it suits you, I shall have my dinner tonight."

The fearsome black dragon spread its wings and shot for the heroes, balls of black crackling energy surrounded him. His tail was lined with dozens of copper spikes dipped in poison. As he shot towards Hiro who happened to be in front of the back, a ball of dark black energy gathered in his mouth. His spiked wings were spread wider than a tall skyscraper on its side and the winds formed by the wings blew like a Dark Hurricane.

Hiro stood his ground, holding his energy sword out. Behind him, he could hear the others powering up their weapons as well. Chants filled the air as the magicians prepared to cast protective magic.

Then suddenly, the black dragon slipped on a wet spot on the ground just before he reached Hiro. The great beast flipped in midair and rammed his wings into the stone walls, crippling them permanently. A resounding "NOOOOO!" reverberated along the walls as the black dragon fell into the lava pit and died.

Chris and Hiro looked at each other and shrugged while Jessica nearly fainted to the ground. Fiora and Dart let out a sigh of relief and scooted closer to each other, and everyone else just stared in shock.

The first battle ended rather anti-climatically.

However, there were four more dragons to deal with, each just as deadly as the one before.

Seeing their brother fall, two of the remaining four immediately took to the air. One was a slender female named Chaosprincess2 while the other a brutal looking male named AnubusX. Both dragons launched beams of dark energy at our heroes without even speaking.

Hiro immediately ducked left as the dark energy crackled by him, incinerating the unfortunate guard standing behind him. On the other side, he heard no screams confirming any more hits. Getting up and dusting himself off, he charged with his blade raised, seeking to take the head off one of the two dragons.

The female dragon saw Hiro charge at her from the front and to her right and left, a young woman and a man charged her, each wielding different plasma weapons well. A girl stood back behind the charging forces and lanced bright beams of holy magic at her. She immediately flew higher, keeping out of the energy blades' reach while dodging the spells. While she dodged, she returned the holy spells with dark bursts of energy. Her brother was faced with a tall stoic man with a power sword, two girls with plasma rifles, a medley of other fighters to his right and three shamans. He smirked, and let loose a breath of black napalm with the erratic-ness of a Drunkdragon. His dark flames incinerated the last two generic looking fighters, leaving him with all the cool looking ones. He smiled, and flew lower as he saw the power sword man charge, followed by the girls with their plasma rifles on overdrive. He shrugged off the bolts and flew straight ahead, only to have his head sliced off by the power sword.

Patric sheathed his blade, knowing that the dragon would underestimate him. The giant body thrashed in pain for a while before falling limp and rolling into the lava along with the severed head. To his side, he could feel Jaffar's analyzing gaze on him. He didn't care, for he knew his job wasn't done. As soon as he saw his brother die, the fourth of the five siblings, wanchoo the Asterick Dragon of the Five Dragons of doom roused, not believing how easily the dragons were to be defeated. To his left, he heard his sister give a shriek and then a loud thud and sickening sizzle. He knew what had happened, and vowed that these humans would be made to pay. Unbeknownst to him, a certain trio of shamans had begun to glow with and eerie white aura.

Meanwhile, Dart and Fiora were standing near the edge, watching the female dragon sink into the lava. They had jumped onto her back and rammed a few force pikes into the dragon's heart. Unfortunately, in the spirit of self-preservation, they had forgotten to pull the pikes OUT of the dragon before it plummeted into the lava.

Hiro stood behind them holding his energy blade, his face set in determination. He stared at the last dragon, knowing that he and his sister would be alone on this one unless Fiora and Dart suddenly pull out any surprising hidden weapons. But before he could get too lost in his thoughts, a blinding bright white light knocked him off his feet. He turned his head to see the fourth dragon enveloped in the lights of heaven, before vanishing all together. Hiro turned and stared at the shamans, wondering what man could have that kind of power.

Kevin and the twins smiled inwardly. In reality, they hadn't probably even hurt the dragon one bit. But they did open a Didactylos gate, and literally transported the dragon into another dimension. It won't be for another few hours until the worried about the poor people who now have to deal with an angered Dragon of Doom.

* * *

Tokyo, Japan 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GODZILLLA!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the final dragon had finally risen to its feet. It had been studying its siblings in combat, and it knew the reason for their failure. For gods sake the Dragons of Doom haven't done anything but sleep and eat for thousands of years. Everyone was so horribly out of shape. The fifth dragon however, was smart. 

"Humans, I'll make you a deal." It said in a soft voice. "I, Vered the Whitedragonghost will give you the sapphire which you so desire if you leave this place. However, if you choose to fight, I will have no choice but to kill you."

With that the dragon turned a pale white. "And I am very capable of killing you unlike my kin."

The Eternians took one look at the ghostly white dragon and powered down their weapons. "…You've gotta be kidding me."

The ghost dragon smiled. "Wise decision humans. After all, you cannot kill what is already dead." The ghost resumed his black façade and landed on the platform. "You'll receive what you desire from the Lady of Dragons. Just be patient" And with that the giant ghost went back to his silent slumber.

Chris turned towards Jessica and her group. "Go to the center of the platform and get the gem. Your friend's life depends on it."

Jessica nodded and turned towards Jaffar. "You go."

"Why me?"

"Because, you're the least likely to die if it was an ambush."

Jaffar looked down at his badly burned arms and torn clothes. "Right…"

Grudgingly, the assassin stepped to the center of the platform. As he did so, a glowing glyph appeared in the center and a beautiful pale woman bearing a jewel encrusted box.

"I am lilylisa31." The woman said. "Reach into the box and find your heart's desire the Refection Of My Memories will provide."

Jaffar raised a shaking hand and reached into the box, closing his hands around a smooth object.

The citizenry of Carrassus cheered as the hover car entered the town. The group was down five more people, namely, the two guides and the last three guards, but the people didn't care. As the clocked chimed twelve times indicating midnight, our heroes turned onto the main road and were met by cheering fans. They had seen the lights from the mountains, and upon seeing the survivors return, knew that they were victorious over the dragons. Overhead, al Rlnaruhina fighter plane flew escort for a FIREEMBLEMFREAK 252 cargo plane as it dropped fireworks.

Hiro steered the car to the lot of their hotel, and the minute they stopped, swarms of people jumped the car, eager to shake the hands of those who had defeated the Dragons of Doom, a feat not even the great hero Destin the Mercenary had been able to complete.

The hotel lobby had been converted into a huge party hall as the mayor of the town had decided to hold a giant party there in honor of the defeat of the dragons, and because it was also Thanksgiving, a detail our heroes forgot in their anxiety.

But now that the first step in the Eternal quest was over, it was time to relax and party. Everyone, even Fiora and Lowen cut loose and had themselves a good time. Kevin and the twins were the highlight, having stolen half a dozen firework launchers, they decided to launch everything from roast turkeys to pies into the air, causing quite a ruckus.

Hiro and Callista were enjoying each other's company and knocking back Comet24's while Jaffar stood nearby, stringing the sparkly multicolored sapphire onto a string to wear around his neck. When he looked up, he noticed three beautiful barmaids looking at him. He scooted over to Patric who was sitting a few feet over shooting himself up on Spingleburt Death Potions.

"Who are they? They're staring at me."

Patric turned his head slightly before answering, "The three sisters, Cool-Chan, Page-Chan, and Kiyoko-Chan. They're outsiders just like you, came from a land called…I think it was Earth. Who knows. They're beauties, but don't try to sack them."

"Why not?"

"Well, there was a guy around here called Mavrill DA Sly. He thought he could score on all three sisters at the same time. Well, long story short, the San Jei Mei as they call themselves, seduced him to take off his clothes, and then just grabbed all his valuables and ran."

"Wow…that must've sucked."

"Yep." Patric waved for the barmaid at their table, a young girl named Ayumi187. She was pretty, but a regular misSkLutzZz. "Don't mess with them and- ACK!"

Jaffar looked over when he heard Patric choke. What he saw was quite an interesting sight. Eunomia, Callista and Serena were standing over the poor assassin, each dressed in rather alluring dresses. Callista held Patric by the neck and twisted him in a position where he couldn't retaliate. Eunomia and Serena were leaning close to his face.

"Say…Patric…" Serena purred. "The chef, Dude-1688, says that we're low on turkeys. So could you, Hiro, and Chrissy-poo go out and grab us a few turkeys?"

"The… heck… am… I… going… to… find…turkeys… at… this… hour?" Patric choked out.

Eunomia brushed her voluptuous body against the choking young man. "I'm pretty sure you'll find a way." She kicked him hard in the shins. "Otherwise my foot might accidentally fly higher."

Patric gulped and nodded and Callista tossed him into two other lumps on the ground that was Hiro and Chris. Jaffar blinked. He must've missed Callista subduing her boyfriend, but he watched on in amusement. Jessica and Fiora stood over the three cowering men and laughed as the Eternian women gave them each a carving knife and a bag.

Eunomia conjured a huge wind that bodily picked up her unfortunate brother and his friends and tossed them out the door.

For the next five hours, one of the three would enter with a turkey, hoping to get off, only to have the girls throw him back out onto the streets again. As the night waned and the morning sun rose, most of the guests were overstuffed with turkey, and as the three men choked back into the inn, Chris and Hiro were on their knees begging their girlfriends to spare them another trip. Patric on the other-hand just curled up in a ball and started to suck his thumb.

Charlie looked at the sleepy partygoers and knew that the girls wouldn't be cruel enough to make the men go out and get even MORE turkeys. After all, it was inhumane to the turkeys to get killed and then not eaten. He raised his shotglass, filled with a dark AuthorOfthedark liquor and drank it down. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the san jei mei approach Hiro at the urging of Callista.

Two hours later, Charlie smiles down at his hands as a naked Hiro streaked through the streets trying to get his clothes back from three laughing girls. It was the craziest Thanksgiving party he's ever been to.

He looked to the side and saw Jaffar holding his sapphire; Dart and Fiora struggling to stay awake, and Jessica pointing and laughing her head off.

"Well, that was fun…" He thought as he continued to laugh at Hiro. He looked around, and knew he wouldn't be missed. It was time to return to being omniscient. Unfortunately, just before he left, a scream pierced the air, that of a young girls.

"EEEEEEEEEEK! YOU PERVERT! LET GO OF ME! LET ME DIE! MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING WITHOUT HIS LOVE!"

Charlie looked down the road and saw a naked Hiro holding a stunningly beautiful girl, with a beauty rivaling that that of a DragonLady626, she was holding a military notice. Charlie assumed her love was one of the guides who was killed and groaned.

"Christ…why always the angsty ones! Hiro attracts them like flies to a garbage pile, and yet he's not angsty himself. He's like an angst-magnet, only without the angst."

Lowen overheard Charlie's self-mumblings and stiffened.

"Dear St. Elimine, what have you created!"

Meanwhile...

* * *

Tokyo, Japan 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GODZILLA!"

"THAT IS NOT MY NAME! RAWR!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GODZILLA MAD!"

* * *

Charlie: Don't ask. I was on a whim that I just randomly copied down the pennames of everyone who faved Fourteen Days or alerted it. Well, happy Turkey Day folks! The series will wrap up next chapter, then we can go back to Kiyoko being... well Kiyoko. 


	32. Into the Black Hole

Charlie: Well, the end of the Eternal Quest Series. This will probably also dive into the main story line as well. No Kiyoko taking over the world isn't a side story, I have to have SOMETHING going on other than just day to day activities, that's boring. Oh and BlackHole CO, I'm really sorry I missed you last chapter. I'll name this chapter after you to make it up. Lemme just say though… it's been a month, I've had college apps, finals and all that jazz, so please excuse me if my writing looks an feels a tad warped. I'm a tad tired these days.

And yes, Lord of the Rings pwns Harry Potter as well as the Chronicles of Narnia.

I have to say something though… everything I do, has a point… please don't rush me. Again this thing will be VERY long… I can't just put every pairing in the beginning, because then I will just flat out run out of ideas by the end. Sometimes, I'll have entire chapters or even a couple of chapters dedicated to just setting up a future event. Please be patient okay? I realize I'm getting slower, I'm sorry, it's partially my fault, partially because of schools… just bear with it.

I do not own Fire Emblem. If I did, Fourteen Days would be an Anime done by a team of people who work for me, not a fanfiction written by myself only.

* * *

**The Eternal Quest Finale Part II**

Into The Black Hole

_Silent Springs, Elibe_

Kent and his companion Sain stood guard outside the inn as the six remaining members of the Silent Springs Defense Force and the three Lycian lords along with Pent and Louise held what they called a "war council."

"What do you think is going on in there?" Sain asked, leaning on his lance.

"Hush Sain, that is not for us to know." Kent replied, annoyed that his partner would be so careless in his duties. "If we need to know, I'm sure Lord Hector will inform us."

"Bah, Kent, you're too well vested. Aren't you even a tad bit curious?" Sain asked.

"Perhaps, but it is not our place Sain, and you would do well to know when to stop asking questions."

With that, the conversation was over.

Inside the inn, the mood was rather tense. Charlie, Kate and Brian, having fallen nearly 40,000 feet only having snow and a cushion of magic to arrest their fall were all well shaken, were seated at the head of a long rectangle table with the three sisters standing behind them. Their appearance was in all aspects, that of three teens freshly out of a bar fight. At the sides of the table, Hector, Lyn, Eliwood along with Pent and Louise sat, wondering what was going on.

"It's plain and simple." Charlie said. "Kiyoko wants to take over the world, and whoever possessed her is giving her the will and direction to do so. And as of now, us six are officially useless as fighters."

"Okay…wait." Hector held up his arms. "I understand the take over the world part and the possession part, as the girl was clearly being taken by something. But why are you guys suddenly useless?"

"Very good question." Brian said calmly. "Have any of you noticed that us six and Kiyoko have fighting abilities quite beyond that of a normal human?"

Everyone at the table nodded.

"Yes, well you see, the reason that we can do the things we do, is because of these." Brian held out his hand, revealing a bracelet that was glowing a deep purple. The rest of his companions held out similarly glowing bracelets.

"What the heck are those?" Hector asked.

"They're power bracelets we crafted a few years back." Kate explained. "Military training around here is actually a joke. Nobody expects much trouble from the Etrurians, and with towns as small as Silent Springs, the local governing precinct just doesn't find it worth the trouble to provide a good training program, or even equipment for that matter."

"So, the seven of us, well, six of us plus Kiyoko, worked on crafting these stones. It took a lot of time, a lot of money, and a hell of a lot of studying, but we managed to sink the energies of two barrier staves, a protect stave, five power staves, three magic staves and two haste staves into the bracelets." Sonia continued. "The staves cost a lot but we managed to do it."

"Okay, but I remember seeing those on you, how come they're glowing now? And you still haven't explained why you're useless now." Eliwood pointed out.

"We're getting there." Brian said. "Now, we found that we needed one bracelet with the power to stabilize all the others. So when we crafted the seventh bracelet, Brian and Kate placed a special spell on it, allowing it to control and regulate the others. In essence, it is the one bracelet…to rule them all!"

"Oh don't tell me…" Hector groaned. "Kiyoko has this bracelet."

"Yes." Charlie simply stated. "In retrospect, it was a stupid move, given Kiyoko's youth, relative immaturity, and explosive nature. But at the time, she seemed the most innocent out of all of us, and we figured she wouldn't use it for evil."

"And we never took into account the possibility of possession." Brian added.

"Okay, so let me get this straight." Hector said counting off his fingers. "You guys crafted these magic bracelets, made one more powerful than the rest, gave it to KIYOKO, and now she's gone off and wants to take over the world."

"That's the gist of it."

The three lords and the Mage General and his wife stared at them. "I'm sorry." Lyn finally cut in. "But that's just stupid."

"Yeah, what can we do about it? Right now, she needs to be stopped or dispossessed before she rips apart the seven known universes." Brian said. "And YOU guys have to do it, since nobody else would believe us."

"You know, maybe making the ruling bracelet was a bad idea?" Pent offered.

"We had to. Every universe that has a powerful items or people must have a ruling force to stabilize it." Sonia explained. "Like Middle Earth with the Ruling Ring, Coruscaunt with the Death Star, Spira with Sin, Eternia with the Kia Sapphire, and Earth with OPEC. Everything must have a stabilizer."

"So now we're charged with bring the stabilizer back to the light?" Lyn asked.

"Yes."

"Isn't she just one person?" Hector asked rhetorically. "We can take her."

"Did we mention she can probably summon phantom warriors now that she's a necromancer?"

"No."

"We should have."

"Elimine help us all."

---

"WHA! COULD YOU WATCH WHERE YOU DRIVE THIS DARNED CONTRAPTION!" Jessica groaned as she was tossed about like a rag doll in the plane the group was traveling in towards their final destination.

Patric, who was currently flying the transport plane while dodging lightning strikes and avoiding the never ceasing stream of plasma bolts raining down on them by a whacked out bat-shit crazy chick in an attack craft trailing them was not amused by Jessica's use of language. He once again flashed the "fasten seat belt" sign before pulling into a series of barrel rolls and ending with a near vertical dive and pull straight towards the ocean. It was still a good two hundred feet until the shoreline of their target island, and Patric didn't care if he had to give some whiny girl who couldn't fight a few bruises in order to ensure everyone got to the island alive.

"GARG! WARN US BEFORE YOU DO THAT!" Jessica's cry came again. Now Patric was pissed.

"You know, maybe the bloody seat belts are there for a REASON!"

"What the hell are seat belts!"

Patric fought down his urge to toss the unruly passenger off the plane and into the ocean, but the need for another series of rolls and banks to dodge a coordinated series of torpedoes took his mind off pointless homicide for just a few seconds. Ahead of him, the shoreline stretched out. If he could only take the transport plane over land, then perhaps the resistance fighters on the ground would notice him being shot at and come to his aid. Or of course, the resistance fighters could all just be dead and he would wind up crashing into the ground and dying.

Not liking his odds, but finding himself with nothing else to do, Patric took a deep breath, yelled for someone to strap Jessica in… and dove straight for the ground. Eriene was amazed that a civilian class transport plane could dodge all of her attacks, and even more surprised to see that after all their efforts, the pilot of her target seems to want to commit suicide. Wanting to make sure, she put her craft into a straight dive as well, pounding the rear fuselage with plasma bolts. She was surprised to see the telltale flicker of a military grade plasma deflector. Obviously, the passenger plane was more than it appeared, but then again, she knew who was on the craft so it didn't surprise her. Suddenly, before she had time to react, the passenger plane pulled into an impossible turn and pulled from the ground. Eriene had one last chance to see the ground rushing towards her.

Behind him, Patric heard the enormous explosion as his tail slammed into the ground. He sighed in relief, dropped his shields, and diverted most of the energy into fueling his two remaining engines out of the original fifteen.

"I think we're gonna be good until we land now." Patric announced.

In the back, everyone let out a sigh of relief, before pulling out the airsickness bags.

---

_Silent Springs, Elibe_

Hector and the other two lords sat at a private war council, away from the now pretty much useless defense force, who were already planning on playing some afternoon golf.

"Where's Jessica?" Lyn asked.

"I have no clue."

Hector scratched his head. "Come to think of it, she wasn't here in the morning either."

"Where could she have gone?" Lyn asked. "We need our tactician."

Hector scratched his head and sighed. "Forget her for now. If worse comes to worse, we'll pull one of the Silent Springs guys to strategize with us."

"I think we still need to find her." Eliwood said. "No matter what, she's still probably a better tactician."

"Yeah, but time is our problem right now." Hector pointed out. "If she's not here when the fighting starts, then we'll forget her. The problem is that we spent a good amount of time getting out of shape. If we're dealing with a necromancer, it might pose some danger."

"Well, even so, we should be able to outnumber her quite well." Lyn said. "Plus, with the various staves and weapons open to us, we'll find a way to win."

"Okay, so first things first, let's get everyone equipped and then talk about tactics and last minute conditioning." Hector said.

"Works for me."

"Same here."

---

Troy tracked the little plane from its takeoff, to its miraculous defeat of Eriene, and to its landing at the base of his mountain. Needless to say, he was annoyed that one of his henchmen died and even more annoyed that his enemies managed to evade all of his incompetent men.

"JERRY!" Troy hollered. His right hand man looked up from the magazine he was reading.

"WHAT!"

"I SAID…"

"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID! WHAT HAPPENED TO ERI!"

"SHE'S DEAD!"

"SHE'S WHAT!"

"I SAID SHE'S…"

"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID! HOW DID SHE DIE!"

"THEY CROP DUSTED HER!"

"THEY WHAT!"

"WE'RE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN!"

"NO, REALLY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT CROP DUSTERS CAN DO!"

"JUST SHUT UP AND GO DOWN AND KILL THEM!"

"OH FINE!"

Jerry huffed and powered up a energy blade before heading out of the lair. A few minutes later, he spotted his targets a few miles down the mountain from him. Before he could react, bolts of energy lanced from energy rifles and singed his hair.

Jerry stumbled backwards, possibly saving his head from being blasted cleanly off. After composing himself, he quickly blew a signal. Immediately, snipers appeared from all kinds of nooks on the mountain and began to rain death on the group, or so they hoped. To their dismay, the Eternian energy swords blocked plasma bolts quite well, albeit at the expense of being knocked of their feet. Soon, the obviously under-trained men of Troy's broke the laws of probability and all lay dead while Chris, Jessica, Patric, Jaffar, Lowen, and the others marched on unscathed. Jerry saw that his prospects for living weren't high and retreated into the lair.

Our heroes, excited by their victories, charged into the lair, without heed of traps or enchantments. Once inside, they followed a series of unchanging passageway until the entered the grandiose throne room.

"Welcome." Troy said as he stood atop his podium. "I'm impressed, you've shown your aptitude well."

The evil warlord pulled out a plasma pistol. "But not good enough. This my friends, is the price of failure."

Instantly, energy blades were raised, but just before the fire was shot, Troy jerked his hand over and shot Jerry in the head, killing his henchmen instantly, making everyone else wonder why he wastes good hand just like that.

"Now, I will leave for my room as my guards kill you." Troy said calmly, snapping his fingers. Instantly, hundreds of well-armed guards entered the room and surrounded our heroes. Fortunately, the guards were also rather incompetent, as they were cut down by the masses. During the fighting, Chris looked over at Jessica and nodded. The tactician yanked Jaffar from his battle and quickly dragged him across the throneroom.

"OW HEY! Where are we going? The fighting's that way." Jaffar yelled as he was dragged along the hard floor.

"We're going to kill Troy!" Jessica yelled as she broke down the door to the inner chamber. Inside, Troy was ready with a rather exotic looking weapon. Jaffar looked down at his puny energy blade.

"Ahh…crap…" He groaned. Jessica smiled sweetly. "Good luck!" She cried before running out to join the main fray. (Or hide in the back with Serena.)

_And so the battle rage-_

"Who the hell is he?" Troy asked.

"Narrator…you learn to ignore him." Jaffar said.

_AHEM! And so, the battle rages on with Jaffar wearing a pink tutu. For the sake of continuing the plotline, I, as the almighty one, will hurry things up. The battle lasted a few hours, but in the end, Jaffar manages to defeat Troy and the rest of the evil warlord's minions scattered. The group tossed the Kia Sapphire into the Pit of the Mountain of Eternal Fires and thus completing their quest. They return happily to the Eternal City._

Chris stood near the portal next to his new wife. Three months had elapsed and he finally got married. Now it was time to bid farewell to his new friends.

"You're sure you can't stay?" he asked.

Jessica shook her head. "No, we can't just abandon our friends."

"Besides, our world is in danger as well." Fiora said.

"I see… well, hopefully you'll find time to visit?"

"Definitely." Lowen said.

"Of course." Clide and Clive chorused in unison. "But now it's time to go… I need everyone's blood please… we must revert physics."

After everyone resigned the contract in blood, Clide slashed open the portal with a diamond blade, and they all tumbled through the gates back into Elibe.

---

_Silent Springs, Elibe_

Samantha slowly opened her eyes. She looked around and found herself in the library, snuggled in a sleeping Matthew's arms. Smiling, she slowly stirred the young assassin. Matthew looked genuinely surprised that Samantha was alive again, but before he could ask, the priestess silenced him with a finger, not wanting to explain at the moment. Together they walked out of the library and into the open air. It had begun to snow. Moments later, the ground opened up and Jessica, Lowen, Dart, Fiora and the cloud twins in human form walked out with Jaffar trailing slowly, his eyes set on Matthew as if saying "you owe me."

Unfortunately, before anybody could say anything, Clide suddenly screamed out. "LOOK OUT!" Quickly, everyone dove to the ground or was tackled to the ground. Moments later, the ground shook with a terrible shockwave.

Fiora looked up to see beams of energy blasting away at a force field the twins put up. It was over in a second. The twins quickly ran out of energy and were blown three feet into the snow. Way above them, they saw millions of ghostly figures circling what looks to be the prostitute version of Kiyoko, only more menacing than cute.

"What the hell?" Fiora muttered. Before she could get another word out, three pegasi zoomed in, dispersing the ghostly creatures. The three riders swooped down.

"FIORA!" One of the riders cried. Fiora looked up and saw it was her younger sister, Florina, followed by Farina and a third rider she knew as Aminec.

"What's going on?" Fiora asked, getting to her feet.

"No time to explain here." Aminec said. "We have to get back to the inn quickly."

Before she could say another word, the floating sorceress launched another volley. This time, Samantha summoned all her strength to bring up a force field. It too was quickly shattered.

"SAMANTHA!" Matthew cried cradling Samantha's fallen body.

"Quick, get her on here." Farina said pulling close. Matthew strapped Sam to the back of Farina's Pegasus and watched as she rode off, carrying the priestess to safety.

"Come on, lets go!" Jessica yelled. Quickly, the group retreated back down the path.

Up in the sky, the Kitty possessed Kiyoko watched with amusement as her prey scurried away. The hunt would soon start she thought.

Kitty appeared on her shoulder as a little spirit.

"Excellent my child…" the spirit grinned.

Back at the inn, Jessica burst through, disturbing a war council.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Jessica asked.

Everyone looked surprised. "Where did you come from?" Hector asked.

"Forget that." Jessica snapped. "Give me an update, snap. That ghost army is out there multiplying by the moment and you guys are holding a bloody committee?"

"Well, the thing is, that's Kiyoko, being possessed."

"I know that…where's the defense force!"

Hector sighed. "That's the bad news. Apparently, all members of the defense force has magical bracelets. Kiyoko's though, is the one bracelet that rules them all. She kinda shut off their fighting abilities."

Jessica glanced around before her eyes met Charlie's. The innkeeper calmly red her flaming gaze that clearly read "you effing idiot" and shrugged.

"All right, here's what we'll do." Jessica said, getting into combat mode. "Hector, you take a troop of knights and paladins and defend the residential area. I'm sure some of the citizenry will help. Take Lucius with you. Sonia!"

The girl came forward. "Yes?"

"Do you have ANY staves that would protect against high energy magical blasts?"

Sonia thought for a while. "Yes, the Aegis Staff. But I only have three."

"Excellent." Jessica said. "I only need two. Get me two now."

Sonia nodded and quickly ran outside.

"Okay, Give Lucius that staff and make SURE he protects the citizenry, you got it? Make sure all civilians in town right now go with you."

Hector nodded.

"Lyn, I want you, and everyone who can possibly use a bow, along with Erk and Pent to the rooftops. Keep firing into the crowd of ghosts. I want them to be dispersed at all times… you got it?"

Lyn nodded. She strode from the room along with Pent and Louise just as Sonia came in with three staves. Jessica handed one of them to Hector before letting the lord go. She looked at the remaining two staves, and noticed they were different.

"What's the other staff?"

"It's a float." Sonia said. "If I'm reading your strategy correctly, Eliwood and the rest of the group would engage the enemy… am I correct?"

"Yes, I see…and this float stave allows them to float?"

"As long as there's wind." Sonia said. "And right now…we have plenty of wind.

Jessica nodded. "Clide, Clive, can you two stay on the ground as support? Catch anybody who falls with your magic?"

"Can do." The twins said.

"All right, if there aren't any more questions, lets move out."

With that, the meeting split up. Once outside, Heath, Vaida, Florina, Farina and Fiora approached the tactician.

"Ma'am, I think we'll suit you best if we follow Hector. If you have those archers launch into crowds here, we'll be skewered." Fiora said.

Jessica nodded and waved them off. "Be careful."

Jessica took her position at the back of the army. On the rooftops, Lyn and the other archers were already launching bolts from longbows. Meanwhile, Serra, Priscilla, Canas and Nino worked overtime to cast float on everyone on the ground.

In the army, tensions ran high. This would be the most dangerous foe they faced yet, especially since she can raise her own army at the snap of a finger. At that crucial moment, long hidden feelings began to emerge as soldiers looked at each other with fondness, companionship, and most of all love.

Jessica watched the scene before her. It was definitely a new army from the one she commanded a mere four days ago. She watched the evil version of Kiyoko approach from the sky with her army of phantoms.

"Well… let's see how much progress we made hmm?" Jessica wondered out loud. Before Eliwood could ask her what she meant, orders were already flying out of her mouth.

On the roof top of the inn, the former seven defenders of Silent Springs watched on, completely helpless to provide any assistance. Charlie glanced down at his bracelet, that was glowing a violent pink rather than it's normal faint green and sighed. He just hope that the problems the army had before they came to Silent Springs won't manifest itself in the coming battle.

* * *

Charlie: Well, that only took me two months… blah, sorry, I'm a tad stressed out lately… and stuff happened, though I won't let what's going on in the real world affect the storyline. Anyways, thanks for being patient. Love ya all. 


	33. Back to Square One Almost

Charlie: Okay, I'm free, I'm a second semester senior! Glory to freedom! …ahem, anyways. Yeah, so…that's the spiel. Schools been keeping me busy… but don't let my supposed work ethic fool you (or my GPA for those of you who know it) fool you; I'm not exactly the perfect student who's organized, studious and diligent. It's more of a, I have a photographic memory and just spend most of my time complaining about homework than actually doing it… WHICH MEANS… now that the first semester of my senior year is gone, and considering that my second semester grades will NOT go on the midyear report sent to colleges… I'll be pretty much using this as an excuse to slack off on my homework.

Erk: He's a regular lazy bum who should not be doing as well as he is.

Charlie: When the hell did you get here?

Erk: Using the powers of my mind.

Charlie: Yeah, whatever… anyways, enough about school… on to the next few chapters… lesse if I can get this thing finished before I graduate.

Erk: And he doesn't own Fire Emblem, or else he'd have other people write this for him.

Charlie: Yeup… I'm lazy.

* * *

Back to Square One… Almost

As soon as Jessica's battle cry went, the troops immediately took to the air… and defied physics by tripping over nothing. Jessica who was standing next to the innkeeper, who had come out to watch the fun, struggled to stifle a laugh as she watched the famous Lord Hector, Lord Eliwood, and even the brave Sir. Sain flail around like headless mosquitoes. The innkeeper himself rolled his eyes.

"STOP TRYING TO WALK! JUST GUIDE YOUR FREAKING BODIES!"

He was rewarded for his kindness with half a dozen throwing knives. Lucky for him, Jaffar couldn't aim very well while doing out of control midair tumbles. The innkeeper growled and ducked back into the safety of his inn.

Erk was one of the first ones to get himself under control, finding it much easier if he just stopped struggling. His body straightened itself and he quickly found he could move simply by gliding along the winds as one would do underwater. He quickly grabbed his nearest compatriot, calming the soldier down. Soon, everyone got the hang of flying and the army shot into the air, weapons raised. It helped that all the phantoms were wielding axes. Everyone was relieved that they didn't have to dodge arrows as well.

Back on the roof of the inn, Sonia pointed out targets to Pent and Louise who in turn passed the information out to the rest of the archer, mage group that had stayed behind. Wil, Rebecca and Lyn readied their bows. They had to be careful not to hit their comrades. As for Lucius, who had come in the steed of Erk at the last moment after realizing he was probably not cut out for close range physical combat in midair, he just had to make sure their magic was bright enough for their comrades to avoid.

As Erk soared into the air, he fidgeted with his fire tome. He was still nervous about going into battle. 'Stupid Lucius…' he grumbled as he got ready to send balls of flaming death at his adversaries. Suddenly, a swish of air and a zing passed his ear as a fast arrow shot up into the group of phantoms ahead of him, dispelling the ghosts. Erk looked around and saw the arrows flying. The defenders on the ground must be doing his job. A moments later, a giant flash of light followed by much scrambling caught Erk's eye as Lucius' divine tore into another group of phantoms.

Then, Erk felt himself get yanked to the side by a rough hand. He turned to see Dorcas holding onto a leg.

"What the?"

"An arrow was about to hit you." Dorcas said.

"Oh, thanks." Erk said graciously. Erk turned his head, just in time to see another arrow shoot towards him. He quickly swerved to dodge. Looking back, he noticed that the arrow, instead of going through the space he was in and into the phantoms, reached its apex and fell back to the Earth, as if someone was specifically aiming for him. He looked back onto the roof. He caught Rebecca's eyes and watched as she strung an arrow and aimed.

'Oh gods…' he thought. He wondered if Rebecca's love for him was just a ruse… a simple plot to lure him into security before delivering the final blow. Before he had time to think, Rebecca's arrow soared past him, and into the Phantom warrior about to take off his head. He turned around just as the ghost dissipated. From behind him, he could hear his comrades yelling at him to concentrate.

Erk shook his head clean. He was in the masses of people now. If somebody in his own army wanted him dead, he or she would have to do it later, and Erk knew that by then, he would know who it was.

Charlie appeared on the ground next to Jessica again. This time, Kate and Brian accompanied him as they joined the tactician.

"You never go into combat next to your friends do you?" Kate asked casually.

"Are you on crack?" The girl asked. "Do I LOOK fit for physical combat?"

Charlie gave the short girl a once over and shook his head. "Hmm… okay, no you don't."

Jessica groaned and turned her attention back to the battle. "I can tell we made some progress…but not a whole lot." She grumbled.

"No, I think you made progress… but now old grudges are replaced with new ones." Charlie commented softly.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious." Jessica said rolling her eyes. "And… ahh…shit…"

Charlie looked puzzled…but then he followed Jessica's gaze…and figured out what the problem was.

The problem was the resident pervert, Sain of Caelin. Most of the girls had chosen, wisely and practically, to wear insulating pants to protect them from the katabatic winds of the mountaintops. But, there were three females who were used to cold climates and stuck with their regular skirts and long boots. The three being Fiora, Farina and Florina. Of course, now, they lacked Pegasi to ride on, seeing how the huge winged beasts would just get in the way and since they can fly anyways.

Sain decided to take advantage of this happy situation as he floated just behind the three sisters, taking in well, almost everything under their skirts. Unfortunately for him, once the sisters reached the phantom warriors, their focus was no longer linear. It only took one glance backwards for Fiora to notice Sain's glazed eyes as he gawked at her and her sister's underwear and anything else that might've shown from the connected skirts that they wore.

"YOUR PERVERT!"

The scream heard 'round the world as all three sisters now noticed Sain's peeping. Florina looked at him with pained eyes, as if asking him how he could do this to her. Sain didn't have much time to respond before the blunt end of two lances slammed into his stomach and head. He quickly raised his shield to protect himself, but it was too late. Farina's spear handle poked between his legs and ripped upwards before meeting, and crushing the first thing, or things, that met its path. With a strangled cry, Sain fell from the sky screaming like a little girl (given that his voice was now quite a few octaves higher, it couldn't really be helped).

"OY! CLIDE! CLIVE!" Jessica screamed. The dozing druid duo jumped at her call and followed her frantic pointing. Quickly, levitation staves were raised and Sain was saved mere inches from a neck-breaking fall. The brothers quickly ran over to him and examined him. It took only a second for the brothers to realize what Sain's curled position and soprano voice signified. Sniggering, the twins brought the man to his feet and carried him from the snow into the inn before rejoining the observing tactician.

Kent tracked his partner's fall from the moment he saw Sain sneak up behind the skirt-clad sisters. After making sure that Sain was safe, he brandished his sword and charged into the mass, sighing. It didn't really surprise him though… his partner was always doing boneheaded stunts such as the one before, and by now, Kent was pretty dubious of Sain's ability to procreate. Kent sighed again and met a phantom, slicing it in half and watched the ghostly afterimage fade.

'These aren't that hard to defeat…' he thought. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something interesting. 'Oh gods… not again.'

To Kent's left, Serra was dancing intricately around a phantom with Nino by her side. The maneuver seemed innocent enough, until both girls let out overkill spells. The phantom immediately disintegrated under the onslaught of an aura and a fimbulvetr. What was not so innocent was where the spells were headed after they tore through the tissue paper ghost.

Lyn was the first to see the blinding flash of light and the freezing ice crystals head towards the roof. The others though, quickly caught on. Pent and Lucius quickly retaliated with spells of their own. A huge blinding explosion rocked the ground as aura met aura and fimbulvetr met fimbulvetr.

"DEAR ELIMINE!" Lulu yelled after diving to the ground with her sisters. "WHO'S TRYING TO KILL US?"

"Someone on our side, that's for sure…" Geitz said. "Though who they want to kill and why is the ques- REBECCA LOOK OUT!"

Rebecca felt the spell smash into her before she saw it as her back was turned trying to help Fae from the ground. The blow lifted the girl from her feet and tossed her ten feet away, nearly off the edge of the roof.

"REBECCA!" Louise cried running to the girl's side.

Pent looked up into the air and gazed towards the source. It only took him a minute to catch Serra's sneering gaze.

"Dear lord…solve one problem spawn another…" Pent mumbled to himself.

It was all Geitz and Lucius could do to keep their curiosity to themselves. It has been proven at Silent Springs that curiosity didn't just kill the cat…it tortured it beyond recognition.

Back in the air, Serra grinned proudly as the shine spell she deviously hid behind the massive explosion went through unnoticed.

"That'll teach her." She said proudly to Nino.

"You know, that won't make him like you more." A voice said from behind her.

Serra jumped and turned, staring into the monocled eye of Canas. His gaze was hard. But it was nothing compared to the look of pure contempt her roommate Kent showed her.

"So now we're resorting to backstabbing hmm?" Kent said coldly. "I think you should go back… I don't feel safe fighting with you two here… someone else might find themselves in an accident."

Canas nodded and brought out a float stave. Slowly, he controlled the flow of the winds, lowering Serra and Nino to the ground while Kent covered his back.

Once on the ground, Serra and Nino could do nothing but trudge back to Jessica. They definitely weren't prepared for the glare of pure hatred the tactician threw them.

"We'r-" Serra started. She never got to finish as Jessica raised a hand an slapped the cleric across the face, throwing her to the ground. Charlie, Kate and Brian looked, half amused and half surprised at the small tactician's strength.

"Don't tell me you're sorry!" Jessica screamed. "What the hell were you thinking! We're in a bloody war. You want to kill her, do it AFTER I'm not your tactician anymore."

"But I…" Serra was shocked at first…but then her face turned into a hard frown. "How dare you! You're not even fighting and you're berating me for my actions! How DARE you hit a girl? Especially of MY stature?"

Jessica raised her hand and smacked Serra to the ground again. "News flash, I'm a girl too if you haven't noticed. Oh and by the way, you're a bloody cleric of Ostia, not the queen of Elibe. But even then, I still would've slapped you. I do everything I can to keep you out of danger and you reward me by backstabbing my other troops? Before you start toting your 'greatness,' how about some action to show for it hmm? Now get out of my sight, you disgust me."

Serra was stunned silent, as was Nino… but she already felt bad for what she did. The two remained silent, even when Brian and Charlie carried them into the inn to join the recuperating Sain.

Back in the air, Karel felt back in his prime. This was where he belonged, sword in hand and people to kill. He only regrets not having someone closer to his skill to kill. These bandits were ridiculously easy to handle. He glanced to his right. Even the weak, always scared girl Priscilla was fighting well. Karel laughed coldly. This was almost too easy.

Unfortunately for him, Kiyoko saw his ease of dispatching her minions. Smirking evilly, she conjured up a giant fireball and hurled it at him. Karel barely had time to look up before the deadly ball of flame hit him in the leg, causing him to spin out of control. When Karel regained himself, his eyes had gained the look of a madman. The sword demon was back. Giving a war cry, he turned towards the phantoms like a madman, slashing wildly, not heeding the axes being swing at him.

Moments later, he stood in a clearing, all phantoms gone. His demonic eyes scanned the field and rested on Priscilla. Somewhere in his memory, he remembered his vow to kill her. Giving a cry, he charged the Valkyrie, thirsting for blood.

Priscilla screamed and ran, tossing weak fire spells backwards, hoping to slow the madman. Suddenly, she was bumped to the side as her adoptive brother Raven jumped in and crossed blades with Karel. Priscilla's eyes widened in fear.

"NO! LORD BROTHER!"

Raven paid no heed, nor did Karel as the two clashed again and again. Karla quickly shot up to join Priscilla in her unheard pleas. Soon, Karla found it completely pointless to continue yelling. Fearing that her mad brother may commit a murder, she jumped in and crossed blades with Karel alongside Raven.

Karel's maddening laughs of psychotic glee grew louder at the prospects of two kills and he redoubled his efforts. Indeed if they weren't on a three dimensional battle field, both Raven and Karla would be dead.

Soon others gathered around the debacle, watching the three swordsmen (and woman) clash.

Eliwood and Hector looked at each other grimly and quickly tried to break the fight. Unfortunately for them, Hector's axe was rather unsuited for battling three skilled swordsmen and Eliwood… well… was Eliwood.

To make matters worse. Bartre, eager for a chance to fight, brashly jumped in, brandishing his axe at Karla who he swore he would defeat.

Karla was frustrated to say the least, especially at the fact that Bartre chose such an inopportune moment to decide to fight her. Unfortunately for her, she had no choice and wound up abandoning her brother to block Bartre's wild swings.

Hector and Eliwood were getting worried. It wasn't just a normal infighting scene. Karel's eyes gave off a murderous aura, and nobody present was mad enough to try to stop him. As for Bartre…well, he was just … thickheaded.

Kiyoko watched the spectacle from the skies and shrugged. If the opposing army felt compelled to kill each other for her…then why was she to complain. She quickly snapped her fingers and redirected her phantoms. All the ghosts now made a beeline towards residential Silent Springs.

Kent along with his other fellow paladins and Oswin were the first to notice. Unfortunately, everyone was engaged in trying to break up the fight or, (in Matthew and Legault's case) taking bets for the fight. So gritting their teeth, the small group shot away to engage the massive horde of phantoms.

From the ground, Glenn and Fureal began launching spells as Alan shot arrow after arrow to disperse the phantoms.

The paladins along with Oswin arrived quickly and diverted the phantoms from the ground. The ones that got through were quickly slashed by Dias and Erimus.

Back in the air, Isadora and Marcus fought back to back as they were getting overwhelmed. To their right, Lowen and Oswin swung their lances around wildly, creating a clearing, but even with their efforts, the phantoms were slowly starting overwhelm them.

Suddenly, a Pegasus tore through the masses, the lance of its rider tearing through a line of phantoms.

"Thought you needed help." Aminec smirked.

Kent nodded his thanks and continued to fight, knowing that if he failed, many innocent people might get hurt.

Back at the inn, Jessica was livid. In fact, it took the combined strength of Charlie, Brian AND Kate to keep her from demanding the twins to float her before shooting up to break up the massive fight.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE THEY DOING! WHY! ARGH!"

Charlie struggled against the flailing tactician, but something soon caught his eye. He saw Kiyoko redirect her troop and head straight for… the residential area. He gasped… there was no way a force that small posted there could hold off the horde of phantoms that big.

"Oh shit…" Charlie muttered… letting go of Jessica. The tactician, with the sudden release of pressure, surged forward and landed face first in the snow, taking Brian and Kate down with her. She looked back at Charlie and glared… but soon saw the look of fear in his eyes.

Without warning, Charlie ran back into the inn and came back out with a small block. He ran up to the twins and exchanged a few quick words with them. The twins gave a nod and float staves were brought out. Before long, Charlie, Clide and Clive were shooting upwards at tremendous speeds.

The trio stopped at where the crowd was converging on the death match. Charlie nodded to Clide and the druid pulled out an ornate staff. Chanting some cryptic incantations, Clide shot a beam of light out of the end of the staff onto the fighters. Immediately, all motion ceased in the area of the light. Karel's demonic eyes grew fierce as he struggled to be free of the invisible bonds and failed miserably. Raven and Karla however were relieved.

Charlie then barked a few more instructions to Clide before grabbing Matthew and shooting upwards with Clive.

Matthew looked at the innkeeper fearfully.

"Where are we going?"

"To Kiyoko." Charlie said. "Sorry about using you… but I need to."

Kiyoko watched with amusement as Charlie flew up with one of the twins and a sandy haired assassin.

"So, what is it now Charlie?" Kiyoko asked. "Here to beg for mercy?"

"Not really." Charlie said. "You remember him?"

"Of course I do." Kiyoko said. "He's that guy Sammy likes. So?"

Charlie gave her a quick nod before pulling out the big brick he had earlier. "Do you know what this is?"

"That's the…" Kiyoko froze… "Key to the pocky room."

"Correct." Charlie said smirking. He tossed the block to Matthew. The assassin turned the brick around and found a strange symbol on the back. Before he could ask, he found that he couldn't move and Charlie had a killing edge at his throat. His eyes rolled up to see Clive holding the same ornate staff his brother had earlier.

"Now, I know that if I threaten to kill your friend's boyfriend, you probably wouldn't care in your current state." Charlie smirked. "HOWEVER… we are currently fifteen hundred feet from those jagged rocks down there. The minute Matthew dies, he'll fall from the sky… along with the key… and you'll never have your secret lifetime stash of pocky… ever again. Is it something you want to risk dear sister?"

Inside Kiyoko's mind… Kitty panicked.

"No! Don't listen to him!" She cried desperately to the little girl who was, until a moment ago, looking dazed at a field of daisies. "DON'T!"

Mind Kiyoko shed a tear. "No… sniff… pocky?"

Kitty knew she lost.

Back in the real world… Kiyoko suddenly changed, her attire returned to normal, her aura disappeared, her phantom soldiers vanished, and any trace of magical ability she had dissipated. Charlie felt his power return as well.

"POCKY!" Kiyoko screamed. She lunged at Matthew and grabbed the brick, snuzzling it.

Matthew stood petrified, even after Charlie sheathed his killing edge.

"THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" He screamed.

"Oh pipe down." Charlie said. "Clive, go knock Karel and Bartre out will ya?"

"I hear you." Clive said.

Thirty minutes later, the twins backpacked Karel and Bartre into the inn. The rest of the army however, touched down and gathered in front of Jessica, Pent and Louise. The seething look of anger on Jessica's face told them that they were in for a LOOOOOOONG debriefing.

Charlie carried Kiyoko on his back while she munched on her pocky. He looked out at the army being chewed out by their tactician and sighed. He feared what Jessica may come up with at this night's midnight meeting. Looking up at the setting sun, he judged dinner was only a few hours away…

"Back to square one I guess…" he mumbled.

"Hmm? Say something?" Kiyoko asked.

Charlie shook his head. "Nothin' eat your pocky."

Kiyoko squealed and did just that.

---

Kitty once again found herself staring death in the face, quite literally. Only death didn't really have a face, just a skull that still manages to smile wickedly.

"Back again I see?" Sturm asked. "I take it it didn't go so well."

"No…it didn't." Kitty groaned. "Stupid pocky."

"Yes…" Sturm said. "Well, lets take a walk while my assistant goes through your files shall we?"

Back on cloud nine, Demitra was just getting back into her vacation… when a huge stack of papers fell right onto her stomach.

"STURM! I'M GOING TO REVIVE YOU…THEN I'M GOING TO KILL YOU... KILL YOUDEAD! … AGAIN!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

* * *

Charlie: Well, back to the drawing board for Jessica. Time to be evil again. Haha, well, looks like I'll be a tad busy over the next few days, so… next update might take a few weeks… (Research project then Yosemite). But, I'll see what I can do. Thanks for all your support! I hope I got to reply to all your reviews (The signed ones). As for the unsigned people… I'm really sorry. I must say that I appreciate your comments and criticisms.

Oh and Samantha… you're starting to act like Kiyoko XDDD. Love you just the same though.

Haha, well, hope you enjoyed.


	34. Midnight Meetings 4

Charlie: I'm starting this chapter immediately after I posted the last one. So as of now, I have no clue how you guys reacted to the last one. Yar… Well, enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 34 – Evening, Day 4**

Midnight Meetings #4

"Barkeep… hit me with another…." Jessica slurred slamming down an empty shot glass onto the counter.

Charlie, as well as Pent and Louise (who just happened to be at the bar as well) stared at Jessica. He shook his head and gathered Jessica's shot glasses, much to the tactician's displeasure.

"HEY! …I'mma talking to you!" Jessica slurred again, nearly falling off her chair when she tried to point an accusing finger at the innkeeper. "I want another!"

"I think you've had enough…do you think she's had enough Louise?" Charlie asked.

The sniper nodded. "I think she's had enough…do you think she's had enough my husband?"

"I think she's had enough."

"Right…" Charlie said. "Now Jessica, just go up to your room and get some sleep."

"NUU! NEVER!" Jessica screeched. "I WANT MY SAUCE!"

At this point, her screech attracted the attentions of two more people, namely Kiyoko, who was eating pocky a few seats over from Jessica, and Brian, who was checking Kiyoko's mind for any more signs of possession.

"What's wrong with her?" Kiyoko asked munching happily at her pocky.

"She's been here all evening… even after half the army went up stairs…drinking her ass off." Charlie answered. "And her tab just reached six digits."

"MORE BOOZE!" Jessica sang.

Louise took the opportunity to smack her, but not before Canas and Dorcas had joined them, as well as the three Silent Springs sisters. Louise sighed and pulled Jessica into a maternally hug, rocking her slightly. Her ministrations soon caused the tactician to relax, and fall into a light slumber.

"Oy, thanks Louise." Charlie sighed. "So, why are we all here?"

"Midnight meeting." Canas said. "Before Jessica came here to drink her heart out, she gave the rest of the army a nice little talking too… yeah."

"I didn't even know that she knew half the words she was saying." Pent said. "And I don't think it was appropriate, especially considering the ages of some in this army."

"Yeah, and then at dinner, she was obnoxiously loud, and obnoxiously rude." Lulu sighed. "Hell, she even said Fae's cooking sucked. Poor Fae broke down for about thirty minutes before Hector went back there and comforted her."

"Uhm…" Fae said blushing. "He…actually made things worse."

"Oh right." Lulu muttered. "LYN went back there, dragged Hector out by the ear, then went back and comforted Fae. Turns out Jessica was just spewing crap."

"Yeah, and after that, she came here and got wasted… so lovely…what do we do now?" Charlie asked.

"Don't you have anti-alcohol potions?" Brian asked.

"Oh right…" The innkeeper sheepishly dug into his robes for a vial of purplish liquid that smelled like petroleum covered lavender flowers. He walked over to where Jessica was snoozing in Louise's lap and asked the sniper to tilt the tactician's head. When Jessica's mouth was opened, Charlie braced himself and tipped the contents of the vial down her throat.

The effect was instantaneous. Jessica's eyes shot open and her reflexes kicked into gear. Charlie, being unfortunately the first person in front of her, received the blunt end of her punches.

"OW HEY QUIT IT!"

"DEAR LORD WHAT WAS THAT!"

"Alcohol antidote." Brian said calmly, glad he wasn't Charlie. "You were stoned."

Jessica glared at the innkeeper, who was holding his head from her blows. "Do you really have to make it taste so nasty!"

"Gee, what'd you expect? Ambrosia! Don't get drunk next time." Charlie groaned, picking himself from the floor. Moments later, Alan and Samantha joined the group. Jessica looked around and nodded in satisfaction.

"Okay, well, we're all here right?" She asked.

There was a general nodding consent. Since a few nights ago, Alan and Samantha were officially inducted into the meetings. Everyone held his or her breaths, knowing what Jessica was about to say next. She did not disappoint.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID! OH MY GOD! NEVER IN MY LIFE! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!"

The shrieking continued as hands clapped over ears so nobody would go deaf from the tactician's loud reprimands. It was a minute before her breathing returned to normal and it was safe to hear again.

"Okay…you done?" Charlie asked.

Jessica took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah… I'm done. God…they piss me off so much. Especially Serra! UGH!"

"Okay… do want to do anything about it that would actually be productive?" Canas asked.

"Now that you mention it…" Jessica said stroking her chin. "I remember her asking me for what was it… uhm… vassals once."

"Vassals?"

"Yeah…" The tactician smirked evilly. "I think I'm going to give her what she wants."

People looked confused.

"Uhm, how would that be a punishment?" Alan asked.

Jessica ignored the young archer and turned to Pent and Louise. "Think about it…who is uptight, stiff, a stickler for rules, and basically the complete opposite of Serra, but loyal enough to do whatever I ask of him?"

The couple, along with Canas and Dorcas exchanged brief glances before saying in unison: "Kent."

Jessica's smirk widened as realization dawned on the four. Meanwhile, upstairs, a red haired paladin sudden woke up with a violent sneeze.

Back in the lobby, Charlie was thoroughly confused, and he wasn't the only one.

"If you guys don't need us, can we go? I want to plan operation GAAKTFTB." The innkeeper said calmly. Immediately, half the group groaned.

"Opearation… GAAKTFTB?" Jessica asked.

Sonia threw up her arms. "THAT'S IT! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN'T PRONOUNCE THAT GODFORSAKEN WORD!"

"What exactly is Operation GAAKTFTB?" Louise asked.

"Uhh… nothing important." Charlie said. "So… are we doing anything else?"

"Defintely." Jessica said. "Karel."

"What about Karel?" Kate asked. "Wasn't he the creepy guy who tried to kill that girl?"

"Yeah, that's him." Jessica seethed. "I need to do something to him…I don't know what though."

"Make him go with Kiyoko to find the Tear of Astharsa?" Brian suggested.

"Hey! That's a fun idea." Kate squealed.

"Wait…what?" Jessica asked.

Every year, at the Winter Ball, a king and queen of the dance are knighted with a special sword called the Tear of Astharsa (Or a regular old Iron Sword with the name 'Astharsa' carved into the hilt and only considered special because it's in a small shrine in the mountains.). Every year, Kiyoko and Alan are sent into the woods to collect firewood for the ball as well as the Tear of Astharsa. Once this was explained to Jessica, her eyes lit up like a pair of torch staves.

"That's perfect!" Jessica smiled. Kiyoko immediately shuddered. Shakingly, she reached into her cloak and pulled out a sword.

"But I already have it." The girl pleaded, holding out her blade. "See?"

"Uhm, Kiyo…" Charlie said. "That's not the Tear, that's an Iron Sword that has the name 'Astharsa' written on the hilt with a crayon. Besides, it won't be that bad."

"I have to agree with Kiyoko on this one." Alan said. "If that guy goes crazy again, we'll be dead."

"Ahh, but that's where my Genius comes in."

Everyone turned to look at the tactician.

"I'm going to have the Pegasus sisters and Sain go along with you two and Karel." Jessica explained. "Oh and Kiyo, keep a note of how many times Sain flirts with you or any of the girls."

"Mew? Okay…." Kiyoko said, slightly confused. "Why though?"

"Easy." Jessica said calmly. "Karel's job is to keep Sain from hitting on the girls. For every time Sain hits on a girl, Karel has to eat a pound of my pudding."

Immediately, Pent, Louise, Canas and Dorcas cringed, their faces twisted into a look between pity and disgust. The tactician just glared at the four. The Silent Springs residents, however, noticed the looks of pure revolt Jessica received, and decided that making Karel eat pudding might not be such a lame punishment.

"Oh, and can I use your kitchen Charlie?" The tactician added. "I need to make pudding. Oh and make sure you have these ingredients." She handed the innkeeper a list. Charlie took one look at the list of ingredients and flinched. He held back the urge to puke. Fae, being a curious chef, took the list from Charlie. As soon as she saw it though, she wished that she had kept her curiosity under check.

"Are you making pudding or fertilizer!" Fae asked incredulously. "Since when did anybody put charred pork fat into pudding!"

Jessica shrugged and took the list from the paling girl. She turned back to Charlie, waiting for his answer.

Charlie took a few deep breaths to clear the queasiness in his stomach before nodding. "Yeah… I have the stuff…. I don't group them together, and some of them are stored in biohazard, but I'll help you dig it up."

At this point, everyone else who didn't see the list or didn't already know about the young girl's pudding began to feel uneasy. Jessica however, just smiled and nodded.

"Okay, now that that's settled… tell me about this ball." Jessica's evil smirk tripled in size.

The Silent Springs residents gulped and exchanged weary glances. Nobody wanted to speak, in fear of what Jessica may plan. Finally, through a silent game of rock paper scissors played in the eyes, Lulu was chosen (or rather, she had lost) to explain.

The Silent Springs ball was a dance held every Christmas Eve, (which in this case gave Jessica three days to plot to her heart's content). The dance is open to all couples and single males over the age of 13. Nobody really knows why girls can't go alone, but it seems that the ancestors of Silent Springs felt that if a girl went alone, every free guy there would mob her.

Jessica's eyes continued to widen with glee as Lulu's explanation came to a close. By the end, the tactician was shaking with sinister laughter. Unfortunately for all those concerned, she wasn't quite ready to share what was making her so devilishly happy. So with a wink and a final maniacal laugh, Jessica bid everyone farewell and went her merry way up the stairs.

Pent looked at Jessica for a while, before turning to everyone else. "Okay, who's scared?"

All those present raised their hands.

"I think we should keep an eye on her…" Canas noted. "The booze, the anti-dote plus the blind fury she was feeling a while ago might be clouding her judgement."

"Yeah, I don't want anybody to get hurt." Louise agreed.

On that final note, everyone nodded and the residents bid their last farewell before setting off on the long path towards home.

The walk out of the main town was rather silent and subdued. Everyone had their own versions of what Jessica was plotting, from a innocent and rather cute version by fae, to a violent and possibly fatal one from Lulu, to a… mountain of pocky from Kiyoko.

When the group passed the temple, they shuddered once again, fearing what the place would look like after the dance. Just then, Charlie remembered something. He looked around cautiously, before remembering his two targets had no clue what Operation GAAKTFTB was.

"Hey, does anybody want to help with Operation GAAKT-"

"No Charlie." Sonia screeched, not wanting to hear the unholy word again.

"Operation…wha?" Alan asked.

"GAAKTFTB."

"What's that?"

Charlie sweated. "Err…nothing you need to know…so anyone want to help?"

"Remember what happened last year?" Sonia asked. "You got tossed off the cliff…TWICE."

"So? Come on, what do you say?"

Brian and Kate shrugged. "Eh, sure, we'll help with GAAKTFTB. At least it'll amuse us."

"Again, am I the ONLY one who can't pronounce GAAKTerf… GAAKTUFB…. Gaktosy lkwherlk gah, whatever the hell it is?"

"Yes Sonia." Lulu said. "Now be quiet. What do you want to do this year?"

"Think Jessica."

Everyone exchanged confused looks.

"Err…Jessica?" Samantha asked tentatively.

"Astharsa."

"What about Astharsa?" Kate asked. "You're not making sense."

Charlie glanced at Alan and Kiyoko. Alan was still hopelessly confused while the girl was walking along in pocky bliss. Charlie gritted his teeth and motioned towards the pair with his head.

"Astharsa…"

"I'm still not following you." Lulu said. "And yes, we know you think this is madness Sonia, shut up."

The eldest sister quickly shut her mouth, cursing herself to be predictable. Charlie on the other hand, kept grunting out Astharsa and motioning towards Alan and Kiyoko. Finally, Brian put two and two together.

"Oh gods… you're not…" He trailed off when Charlie gave him a devious smile.

"Okay, do you get it now? Because I'm still lost." Kate said. Lulu and Fae agreed while Samantha followed her brother's thoughts and had a shocked look plastered to her face.

"Yes." Brian said. "Think… Astharsa, B… Karel."

Slowly, the sisters and Kate understood. They looked at Charlie.

"Please tell us it won't be dangerous."

Charlie shrugged. "Eh, it shouldn't. But I'm thinking that if we tamper with the snow, the path and the signs a bit, we can separate certain parties."

"What are you guys talking about?" Alan cut in.

"Nothing!"

"Right…" Alan was still suspicious, but he knew that his friends wouldn't tell.

"Do you think it'll work?" Brian asked once the archer got out of their business.

"I'm hoping it'll work." Charlie said. "I'll go tamper with the signs."

"Alright." Kate said. "Well be lookouts. Hope this time it actually works."

"Yeah…" Charlie groaned as he remembered his teacher. "It better."

Suddenly, Kiyoko's pocky was stashed. Two glinting daggers cut through the air and embedded themselves into the snow near a moving hedge.

"You know mister…" Kiyoko said ominously. "You really don't have to stalk us if you want to walk Sammy home."

"Well, sorry." Matthew said. "Could you be less threatening next time?"

Kiyoko gathered her daggers and went back into pocky bliss, ignoring the thief. Samantha, much to Brian's dismay, quickly took his arm and leaned against him happily. The rest of the walk was made in silence, but it didn't take a moron to sense the seething suspicion Brian had for the man who was currently the object of his sister's affections, nor did it take a genius to figure out that the rest of the group (sans the little girl who was in pocky heaven) felt a great unease, fearing that violence may break out in any moment.

Finally, after what seemed like eons, the group finally reached their little cul-de-sac. Alan bade everyone farewell and walked further down the street to his little community. Matthew on the other hand, gave Samantha a brief peck and disappeared into the shadows, leaving Brian to protectively herd his sister into the house. And finally, to nobody's surprise, Kiyoko followed Charlie into his house, and proceeded to take over everything from the heater to the bed.

In the middle of the night, Sonia was suddenly woken up by a loud screech. Thinking it was her imagination, she rolled over, and tried to sleep again, until another loud yell pierced the air. This time, it woke her sisters too.

"What was that?" Fae asked.

"Sounded like it came from Charlie's house." Lulu said. "Lets go check it out."

The sisters crawled out of bed, finding Kate on the doorstep of the innkeeper as well.

"You girls hear it too?" Kate asked.

The sisters nodded grimly. Together, the four girls entered the house, and found everything to be in a rather pristine and neat fashion (for a guy at least). Confused, the girls searched the house, and found nothing to be out of order, broken, destroyed, on fire, or covered in blood. Then, just when they were about to leave, Kate called from the bedroom.

In the bedroom was one of the cutest sights the girls have ever seen. Kiyoko was bundled up in the bed, while Charlie was in a chair by the bed, hunched over and asleep. Her hand was grasped tightly in his. Not wanting to ruin the moment, the girls snuck away. However, their cursory glance failed to catch the hypodermic needle that Charlie's other hand clutched, nor did it catch the nasty welt forming on the innkeeper's forehead.

From the balcony though, a sandy haired thief snuck away, chortling at the scene he just saw.

"Oy, that was interesting." Matthew said smiling. In his hand, he held one of Samantha's magical cubes, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within to be exact. Samantha had taught him how to record with it, and Matthew knew that he had just done the world a great service by recording over the horrible torturous movie, with scenes from Charlie's attempt to tranquilize Kiyoko.

As Matthew walked back to the inn, one thought plagued his mind. He knew that Charlie was up to something, and it most likely involved his tactician, Karel, and the upcoming winter ball, but Matthew, for the life of him, could not get what "Operation GAAKTFTB" was… nor could he pronounce the blasted word as fluently as the innkeeper could.

Shrugging, he decided to just sit back and watch. It was sure to be interesting. As these thoughts danced through his head, Matthew entered the in and climbed the stairs to his room. Once there, he thought of nothing but a good night's sleep.

Unfortunately for him, Jaffar had locked and barricaded the door.

"…Ahh…great." Matthew groaned. He went downstairs and looked at the couch, feeling the bite of the cold weather. It had begun to snow outside.

'It's going to be one interesting night.'

Just as he drifted off to dreamland, a certain tactician cackled evilly in her sleep.

Matthew had no idea how interesting things were about to become.

* * *

Charlie: Wow, I can't believe I actually finished. Uhm anyways, I don't think writing this while listening to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack is good... eh, oh well. Okay, I'm gonna be a tad busy with a research project, then I have a trip to Yosemite. So I might get another update out by next week… then it'll be another two weeks. Sorry, but I just don't have internet up in Yosemite (nor will I have a computer.)

So yar, until later.


	35. Operation GAAKTFTB

Charlie: Alright, here's the shpeel, not an excuse, just why I haven't updated in so long.

My teachers areEVIL. EVIIIIIIIIIIL, JUST EVIL I TELL YOU!

I will spare you the details, but now you know.

* * *

**Chapter 35 – Day 5, Morning – Noon**Operation GAAKTFTB 

"So Charlie, you and Kiyo looked pretty comfy last night."

The innkeeper groaned as three giggling sisters ran away from his snowball. Next to him, a confused and half asleep Kiyoko (who was still under the effects of the anesthetic), clung to him and walked along. She was still trying not to think about having to search for Astharsa's Tear with Sain, Karel and three impossibly busty yet still possibly quite young girls… oh and Alan. She was quite succeeding as the euthanasia Charlie injected into her was still clouding her mind. Besides, Alan, and his fifteen bathroom trips (i.e. a bush by the side of the road) was doing enough worrying for the both of them.

Charlie on the other hand, was still suffering great ridicule because of the compromising situation he was found in the night before. Unfortunately for him, nobody saw the hypodermic needle he had stuck into Kiyo's radial vein, nor did anyone see the bump on his head he got when Kiyo's struggling caused him to hit his head against a wall. So, he was miserably trying, and failing to explain why he was in the position he was in, WHILE trying to keep Kate and Brian from ripping his head off.

The true story is, sometime around midnight, Charlie had enough when Kiyoko woke him for the third time that night, asking for water and a bedtime story. It was at that point in time where he got out his med-kit. Now, Euthanasia, in a normal dose, would kill a human being. Because Kiyoko has a special nerve ending in her brain that is the source of her hyperness, craziness, and overall Kiyo-ness, even a dose of Euthanasia strong enough to kill a herd of fully grown elephants would only put her in a light doze.

Using his chemistry skills, (i.e. the same technique he uses to hyper concentrate alcohol), Charlie managed to super-saturate 50 grams of solid euthanasia into 50 milliliters, which is probably lethal enough to kill half of the population in Lycia. Unfortunately, Kiyoko does not like needles that much… and in the ensuing struggle, both parties were knocked out; Kiyoko by the poison and Charlie by the wall of his bedroom.

Which brings us to this morning, when he and the girl met their friends for the walk to the inn and were confronted with this juicy detail.

While Charlie was being teased, tormented, tortured, etc, a certain female tactician was humming while she came down the stairs to get her breakfast.

Jessica was deliriously happy. Why? Nobody really knew, her moods, as with most girls, are likely to change by the day, hour, minute, second, whatever. So while she came down the stairs humming her cheerful tune, nobody really paid any mind to her… nobody, that is except for the five people who received a mysterious note to meet the tactician and two Silent Springs guides after breakfast on the road just outside of town.

Sain was the first to arrive at the site. He was early, as nobody else was there. However, he was soon joined by the three Pegasus sisters. None of them was particularly pleased with him.

"The pervert." Farina sneered. "Lets hope he doesn't try to rape all three of us."

"It's bad enough you debauch our little sister." Fiora said, her voice a tad too loud.

"Uhm… Fiora?"

"But after you rape her, you decide to go on to us?"

"Fiora…….."

"How could you be so insensitive?"

"FIORA!"

Everyone stopped… Florina had just yelled.

"…Did you just yell Florina?" Fiora asked wide eyed.

The young girl blushed and looked down. "Sain…uhh…hasn't really done…well… anything to me…"

…

…

…

"Well, this is awkward." Sain said. "So uhm, what do you think Jessica has planned for us?"

"Quite possibly something dangerous." A voice said behind them. The four jumped and turned around to see Charlie standing there with Kiyoko and Alan.

"Whoa! You scared us there."

"Yeah, sorry to break up this little party." The innkeeper smiled. "Anyways, Kiyo and Alan are your guides this morning, so… good luck… and you'll need it." He looked past the group to see Karel sulking his way over. "You just got stuck with the two craziest people this side of the mountains."

With that, the innkeeper left the group to contemplate their fate of why they were being stuck with Kiyoko AND Karel.

Trailing Karel, was their deviously grinning tactician. Everyone stiffened and faced her, wanting to get things over with.

"Hello everyone." Jessica said in a sickeningly sweet voice. "Okay, I've recently hear that in two days, there will be a winter ball in this town. Normally, it's an event for the young people of this town to have fun and celebrate a good summer season. This year though, we've been invited to attend."

The group, except Karel, immediately relaxed and started to chat about what they were going to wear to the ball.

"Shhh… listen up." Jessica said waving her arms. "Yes, I know it's exciting, but we first must help them get ready. Now, there's a shrine in the mountains with a sword there. It's tradition to have the sword to crown the king and queen of the ball. Since we're here, we're going to help these two retrive that sword. Don't worry, it's nothing dangerous. Just a walk in the woods. Got it?"

Sain and the three girls nodded. Karel just grunted his approval.

"Alrght, good luck guys."

Jessica then turned and walked away with the innkeeper, leaving the group to their unknowing fate.

"That's cruel you know?"

Jessica smirked. "I know…"

The innkeeper sighed. "…I'd hate to be under her command." He mumbled to himself.

Unfortunately, Jessica heard and soon, the innkeeper was on the ground, holding his shins.

After picking himself up from the ground and putting the pieces of his ego back in place, Charlie grudgingly trudged off into the inn. He quickly made eye contact with three of his friends who were going to assist him on his dangerous and near suicidal attempt at Operation GAAKTFTB. He smiled inwardly…this would finally be the year he would be free of his "little sister."

---

Legault was the fun quirky guy if you got to know him, but he tended to stay in the shadows. He never really put himself in the spotlight, and was never important enough to be of notice. He had his uses and was glad to simply stay in the background. He however, was not a fool, nor was he an overly relaxed guy. Though he may not show it, after years of working for the Black Fang… and killing people whom he cared about simply because they dissented with the majority ideal…he was becoming paranoid, and rightfully so.

Now, the fact that Jessica suddenly and randomly out of the blue decided to uproot the entire army and move them hundreds of miles away from their destination for a random vacation was unsettling with the thief, but by the first day, he figured Jessica just wanted everyone to relax a bit. He let it go. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it. Over the past four days, he noticed secret conspiratorial meetings and glances the tactician and the residents of the small town shared. He also heard the mutterings of a secret meeting occurring in the lobby the night before.

So gathering up his breakfast knives, he made a smooth exit into the snowy field, determined to find out what was going on. He saw the tactician walk past him into the inn, humming a happy tune. If anything, that made him even more suspicious. Then he saw something that confirmed his suspicions. While Karel, the Pegasus sisters and Sain left with Alan and Kiyoko, the innkeeper, the priest, his sister, and that hot springs manager were following, wearing winter camouflage.

Palming his breakfast knives, Legault stalked after the quad, hoping the heck it wasn't an assassination attempt on his comrades.

---

Karel did not enjoy his assignment, and he definitely did not enjoy going into the wilderness unarmed with a rather unbalanced girl who IS armed. He considered many times to snap her neck and just steal her daggers, or threaten her real well for them, but then that'd cause more trouble than he's willing to cause right now. He just wanted to get this over with so he can get away from this rather childish group.

Just then, Karel got a chill, like someone was following him. He looked back and saw nothing but a field of snow covered trees and the snow-covered path. He turned back cautiously. He could've sworn he saw a color distortion somewhere.

Sain marched alongside Kiyoko, trying hard not to look at any of the ladies. Fiora had somehow picked up a rather big branch along the way and was walking behind him at an uncomfortably close distance. Try as he might, he snuck occational glances at the ladies, and especially Florina, who he had become quite fond of. Sighing, he trotted on, wondering what Kiyoko was marking down on her parchment roll.

Charlie stood at the split. He looked around, having three priests around him made things rather useful. Magic was definitely more useful for causing avalanches than blades were. Of course, he had failed to mention to his comrades that causing avalanches were part of the plan…

"ARE YOU BLANKETY BLANK BLANK KIDDING ME!"

The innkeeper did expect Brian to go ballistic. Secretly, he never intended to use white magic to cause the avalanche.

"I'M NOT DOING IT! I HAVE MY HIPPOCRATES OATH TO THINK ABOUT!"

"Your what?"

"…NEVERMIND! I'M NOT DOING IT!"

"Shhh! They'll hear!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

Kate and Samantha rolled their eyes and looked up the path. Sure enough, the group was getting closer and closer to the split. With the way things are going they were going to be revealed sooner or later. But just then, there was a rumbling up the mountain. The girls turned to face a giant snowslide.

"Uhh….guys?"

"I'M BUSY GETTING PISSED RIGHT NOW!"

Kate tapped Brian on the shoulder. "You won't be alive much longer to be pissed if you don't move."

Brian looked up and dilated his pupils at the falling snow. He turned towards Charlie with a fist raised. "Oh…you son of a bitch."

"Hey…I KNEW you weren't going to do it."

"Oh yeah? You should've also seen what I'm about to do next."

Taking out his float staff, Brian enchanted himself and the two girls, leaving the innkeeper standing helplessly on the ground.

"Oh hey! HEY!" Charlie called desperately while running down the path. "THAT IS NOT COOL! COME ON GUYS! OH GOD YOU'RE SO LAME!"

Suddenly he collided with a heavy figure and tumbled into the snow with the wind temporarily knocked out of him.

"OW!" Legault cried as some blur slammed into him. When he got his senses back, he looked up and saw that it was actually the innkeeper.

"YOU! Aren't you the innkeeper?"

"Yes, and aren't you one of Jessica's? What are you doing here?"

"Wondering why you're following my friends in winter camo. Now tell me."

"Later…" Charlie sped past, dragging Legault along by his cape.

"What are you doing?"

"Look up buddy."

Legault looked up the mountain and understood; he soon joined Charlie in pelting back from where he came from.

"Once we get outta this, you have a LOT of explaining to do."

The innkeeper just smiled.

---

Karel noticed the rumble first. He nudged Priscilla who nudged the sisters who kicked Sain who poked Alan who looked up and screamed bloody murder, which informed Kiyoko that something was wrong.

She looked over at the archer. "What's wrong."

"Avv…ava…Avva…Av…"

"Avatar?"

"Avva…"

Karel had enough. "Oh for the love of. He means AVALANCHE!"

Kiyoko blinked. "Ohhh…Avalanche…why didn't you tell me…. RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE LIVESSSSSSSSSSS! Oh and… ME FIRST!"

Alan quickly grabbed the girl and tried to pull her back up the path. "WE HAFTA GO BACK! WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE FORK!"

Sain and Karel quickly picked Alan up and carried him while the girls led the way towards the fork. "Do you really want to be castrated by Jessica?"

"No."

"Then shut up and run." The duo dropped the poor archer and the group pelted for the safety zone past the fork.

Brian and Kate floated above the panicking group while Sam hid behind her brother and was too scared to look.

"Five bucks say they don't make it."

Brian glared at Kate. "How dare you bet on our friends lives? They're being chased by an avalanche! We must help them."

"Oh excuse me Mr. Big Macho Priest." Kate rolled her eyes. "But if you have an avalanche stopping spell, please, feel free to use it."

"Your sarcasm is unbecoming of your post."

"As a hot springs manager?"

"NO! As a light magic user."

"Oh pshaw! I just stole your textbooks in school."

"YOU WHAT!"

Sammy poked her head out. "Uhm…guys? I think they made it."

"What? Damn!"

"I believe you owe me five bucks."

"Hey Priest boy, you never took the bet."

"SO?"

Sammy smacked her brother and her friend. "Come on, let's go! I think Charlie wants us."

The innkeeper was red in the face when the group floated down, from both the running and pure undiluted anger.

"BRIAN YOU NUMBSKULL!"

Kate slapped both of them upside the head too stop the arguing and possibly another avalanche. "Just shut up, both of you."

"Alright, since plan A didn't work because Brian decided NOT to cooperate."

"YOU WAN-"

Kate slapped them again.

Charlie rubbed his head and groaned. "Okay, this is Legault, he wants to join us in our little adventure."

"For the thrills?"

Legault shook his head. "No, to make sure you chumps aren't pulling a fast one on my friends."

Kate looked down and smacked her forehead. "OH! The camo!"

"Alright, forget the camo." Charlie said, gathering everyone. "Oh and Legault, we're doing Operation GAAKTFTB, so if you want to tag along, you'll hafta help."

"Operation GAAKTFTB…what's that stand for?"

"Operation Get Alan And Kiyoko Together For The Ball."

Legault nodded and the plotting continued.

---

As Kiyo and her ragged comrades choked into the temple of Astharsa, everyone collapsed to the ground, kissing the stone tiles. Along the way, they dodged a rockslide, a freak snowstorm, and the voice of "God" telling them that Alan must kiss the first girl he saw. Priscilla delivered a hearty slap on reflex, apologizing profusely afterwards.

"Please tell me we're finally here!" Sain gasped.

Kiyoko nodded weakly. "Just in the last room, down this hall."

Sain stood up and walked forward. "Good, because one more surprise and I'll kill someone."

"NO SAIN! WAIT!" Kiyoko and Alan body tackled the paladin and knocked him to the ground just as three arrows sliced the space above where he once stood.

"DUCK!" Kiyoko yelled as dozens of sharp arrows flew from concealed tubes and screamed towards the group. Karel quickly knocked Priscilla to the ground as Fiora and Farina both dropped with their hands over their heads.

Kiyoko thought they got pass the trap when suddenly a loud shriek pierced her ear.

She turned and saw Florina clutching her shoulder. Groaning, she pulled Alan back and they went to tend to the fallen Pegasus knight.

---

Legault stared at Charlie incredulously.

"YOU LED THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THERE ARE KNOWN BOOBY TRAPS!"

"Hey, it was JESSICA'S idea."

"AND YOU CONVIENENTLY FORGOT TO TELL HER THERE WERE ARROWS!"

"…In short…yes."

Legault smacked his forehead. Just then, Brian tensed up.

"Oh shit guys, weren't those arrows poisoned?"

In unison…

"Son of a bitch…"

---

"FLORINA! I WILL AVENGE YOUR DEATH MY LOVE!" Sain ridiculously grabbed Fiora's big branch and started stabbing at the walls.

"Actually, I'm fine, it hit my armor and bounced off."

Sain blinked. "FLORINA! I WILL AVENGE YOUR FATAL WOUNDING!"

Florina cocked her head. "I'm fine really, I can go on."

Sain pushed her back down. "No! You stay here, we shall go forth!"

Florina stared at the retreating Paladin. "O-o-okay?"

Fiora and Farina stared at the paladin. "Okay…that was weird."

Karel just shrugged. "So are we getting the sword or not?"

Just then, Sain came back, brandishing a glowing iron sword with a bejeweled hilt. "Fear not, I have returned with thine blade."

"Okay, you can stop talking like a moron now." Farina said smacking him upside the head. "Lets get out of here before any more arrows try to kill us."

"Right." Kiyoko said shuddering. "…God I hate archers… Oh and Sain, did you offer three gold pieces in the challis beneath the alter?"

Sain's face turned white. "…and if I didn't?"

Kiyoko sighed… "RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE LIVES!"

The group took off as the entire temple began sealing off and crumbling into nothingness. From the outside, Legault had to be restrained magically by Brian, and his mouth stuffed with a wad of cloth ripped from his cloak to save Samantha's virgin ears from too much profanity.

Karel stared at the wall attempting to slide down and cut him and his friends off. "Is it usually this dangerous!"

"THE TRAPS WERE TRIPPED THIS TIME BECAUSE SAIN WAS A MORON!" Kiyoko yelled over the noise of the crumbling building. "THE NATURAL DISASTERS AND 'GOD'…WELL, I DON'T KNOW! WE'RE JUST UNLUCKY I GUESS!"

Alan looked at the wall. "WE'RE GONNA HAFTA DIVE! COME ON FOLKS!"

One by one, they went through the gap, head first, but as Priscilla, the last one went down, she tripped and got stuck under the descending wall. Just before being crushed into Valkyrie paste, Karel grabbed her by the waist and yanked her through, causing the two to land in a very compromising position.

"Th…thanks for saving me…" Priscilla gasped through her pants.

Karel, realizing what he just did, went into shock. He, the sword demon, saved a life instead of taken one. This was a first. He hoped it didn't start a trend or give him a new name like "Sword of Saints" or "Saint of Swords" or something dumb like that.

"Ahem…" Fiora cleared her throat. "If you two are done gazing at each other, can we go now?"

Karel and Priscilla separated in record time, both blushing profusely, Priscilla from embarrassment, Karel because Priscilla stepped on him when she scrambled up.

Farina looked at Kiyoko who was now holding the Tear of Astharsa. "Are we done?"

Kiyoko shook the blade and the glow wore off. It looked no different from a regular old iron sword now. "Yep, we're done. Although now that the temple is destroyed… I wonder if this is the last time I'll have to come."

"Well…" Fiora said coming along side the girl. "We'll just have to see huh? So who're you going with to the ball?"

Kiyoko blinked. "I don't know, probably just gonna bug my big brother again."

"Haha, that's always fun." Priscilla said smiling.

"Speak for yourself." Sain said. "So, would you eligible ladies like to escor- OW!"

Know your place Sain." Fiora growled. "You're lucky my boots weren't metal this time."

Sain just squeal and nodded, going ahead to lead the way.

"Oh by the way…" Alan said. "Kiyo…will you…help me ask Lugia to the ball?"

Kiyo smiled. "SURE!"

The group laughed and continued their merry way.

"Hey, did someone just hear a scream of agony?"

* * *

Charlie: X.x again, sorry it took months. Again, teachers are EVIL! JUST PURE UNDILUTED EVIL!

Anyways, I would've had it out earlier…and you'll have to forgive me for not having it out when summer break started. But I had to get surgery on my knee, and well, yeah… lets leave it at that.

Well…next chapter up after AX. Sorry again X.x


	36. Into the Mind of Serra

A/N: I know it's been forever since I updated this...and this still isn't a full update. Just to tell you guys, I'm doing this little filler chapter on Notepad. NOTEPAD of all things. 

The who story is rather complicated...lets just put it into a few words: China, Family problems, Computer burnout, Memory wipe, and College.

Yes, the next chapter WILL be up within the next week, but it won't happen until I get my new computer and transfer what little I could save on an external hard drive onto it. Sorry everyone, but the world happens to really hate me the last few months.

Anyways, this is a lead in into the next chapter. Well, it just tells you what might happen. It's short, but hopefully it'll keep you guys entertained until I can get the next chapter written.

Okay, it's not necessarily an interactive fic, but it's written in a second person style. Why? Because I read a book that was written in second person and I thought it was cool.

---

**Chapter 35.5**

Into the Mind of Serra

"Hi! Welcome to the mind of Serra! I'm pink fluffy brain bunny #274, but you can call me pinky! I hope we have a greaty time today! Now come with me as we explore the mysteries of Serra's mind!" A pink smiling stuffed bunny says, hopping up to you.

You walk through a field of pink grass laced with pink flowers, unicorns, butterflies, and clouds.

"As you can see," The brain bunny explained. "Unlike the normal layman's brain, all the matter in Serra's brain, from the cerebrum to the cerebellum to the Medula Oblongata to her nerve cells are all pink, because pink is goooooooooooood."

As you exit the meadow, you enter an area where many blocks of land are surrounded by pink rivers.

"Here, you'll see Serra's electrical impulses! This is what helps her think! As you can see, all of them are pink!"

As you go across the bridges, you notice one river that turns black, and speeds down the distances towards a black void that stands out obviously in the annoying pink backdrop. Curious, you ask the pink bunny about the black area.

"THERE IS NOTHING THERE!" The bunny suddenly grows 3 times in size, develop fangs and becomes deranged. "NOTHING! YOU DIDN'T SEE IT! IT DOES NOT EXIST!"

You stand there in shock as the bunny turns back into it's normal self. You wonder what could be in that dark area.

"Next we have our shrine to Erky n.n" The bunny continues. She sighs as you pass a large lifelike replica of the young mage. "Isn't he dreamy?"

Everyone nods their heads nerviously. The bunny goes on to rant about Erk. As she loses herself in lala land, you discreetly detach yourself from the group, swiftly heading across the bridges until you're infront of the dark void. The void covers half the bridge leading to it and is about the size of a small island. You can't see anything inside the void, as if the darkness was a visual shield, blocking you from seeing. Tenatively, you step across the bridge and into the darkness.

Once past the dark barrier, you enter a perverse world, entirely opposite of the other side. Everything is a shade of black or purple. The brain bunnies in this area are warped to a grotesque shape. There is a dank mist hanging in the are that sucks the happiness out of your soul. As you move, various thing snap at you. You notice one prominent image, bloodied and demented, painted all over the place. Rebecca's face.

"Are you the accursed oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...?" One demented bunnies ask in a blood-chilling voice.

"That is not the accursed oneeeee...!" Another bunny cry. "He must be our salvation! Come to bring us the accursed one so we may be free of our deformations!"

"Oh no...I just..." You stumble as the demented bunnies advance towards you, stretching their deformed limbs. As you stumble, you noticed your own features have become zombie-like. Your skin looks rotted, your nails yellow and dingy. Parts of your bone show from places in your leg where flesh was missing.

Holding back a strong urge to vomit, you quickly bolt back out of the demented zone of Serra's mind, back into the land of pink and bunnies.

Looking down to see yourself restored to your normal self, you quickly rejoin the group where the mind bunny was wrapping up a rather fluffy biography of Erk. You pretend nothing has happened and continue on with the tour.

But you cannout help that as you move along, the mind bunnies give you a fleeting suspicious look. You see venom hidden behind their cute exteriors. And you can smell the blood that will soon flow.

And you cannot but hope that this Rebecca girl will survive her ordeal.

---

Charlie: GASP! What will Serra do! Anyways, next chapter should be up by next saturday or sunday. I'll draft it after my midterms. I'm getting a new comp, so I'm happy. Thanks again, and sorry for the long wait.


	37. Operation Fluffy Pink Bunnies

Charlie: Okay, I went back to China for a month or so to visit the relatives, pay my respects and what not. Then I got dumped, then my computer melted...then I had midterms...at least one a week for five weeks straight... and to top it all off, I have a light fever...JUST before finals week. So uhh, yeah, sorry for the delay.

ANYWAYS! If you'll remember two chapters back, Jessica decided to stuff Kent and Serra together for the morning. This will follow that. So yar, enjoy the ride.

I do not own Fire Emblem. If I did, I'd still be counting my money, then making a FE Anime, then uhm, suing to lighten up on their rules for fits and giggles, since this is America and you can sue anyone for anything. Just gotta make sure the person you're suing has something to give you.

* * *

**Chapter 36**

**The Charlie Got Screwed Over By Life and Had Massive Writer's Block Chapter**

**AKA**

**Operation Fluffy Pink Bunnies**

The Author would first like to plead non guilty to charges of insanity and queerness. The second title in no way reflects my mental state nor does it reflect my relative age, and it in no way reflects my sexuality.

That said… Charlie, after finishing his eavesdropping, fell to his knees and at the top of his lungs… "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Brian waited for the man to stop yelling before slapping him silly.

"Get a grip man." The priest said. "You'll give away our position."

Charlie sighed and hung his head as the group started heading back up the trail. "I hope Jessica had worse luck with giving Kent to Serra as a vassal."

"Happy wishing Charlie." Kate said smiling. "Happy wishing.

**A few hours back…**

Kent happily speared a strawberry on his fork and placed the delicate fruit into his mouth. It had been a long time since he's tasted the juicy tang of a strawberry. When Kent found out that Silent Springs had an entire stock of them preserved in a natural freezer in the restaurant, he was overjoyed. Just as he swallowed the first of this delectable miracle of nature, a loud throat cleared itself behind him.

"WHA?!" Kent leaped out of his chair and would've fell to the ground had it not been for the table in front of him. He turned to see his tactician snickering at him.

"Your landing needs work Kent."

The blushing paladin picked himself from the floor and dusted off his coat. "May I help you milady Jessica?"

"Why yes you can." Jessica said briskly, grabbing Kent by the elbow and yanking him along past table after table of sleepy people. "You see, a few days ago, Serra kept bugging Hector about vassals. Hector, being his usual crass self completely ignored the needs of a young and delicate young lady such as Serra and ignored her. So, Serra brought her problems up to me. Now, seeing as Serra's worked hard lately healing many wounds, and seeing as how you're roomed with her, I think it'd be easier just to let you be her vassal for the day. Lady Lyndis has agreed to my proposal."

Kent choked, at both the proposal, and the fact that Jessica told him about it with a straight face.

"So let me get this straight." Kent said, catching up to Jessica's brisk pace. "You want me to follow Serra around, and answer to her every whim?"

The tactician nodded as if it were the simplest thing on the planet.

"Yes, that is exactly what I want you to do."

"I mean no disrespect milady..." Kent said, shaking his head. "But have you been drinking recently?"

"Nope." Jessica said cheerfully. "Nor have I been popping pills, dropping acid, shooting myself up or having kids I don't know about."

Kent sighed. "I think you've been drinking again milady. I have no clue what half of what you said meant."

"You're going to be Serra's vassal for the day Kent, like it or not." Jessica huffed. "Now go over before I give Serra extra dessert tonight."

Kent paled. Serra alone tough enough to room with. Serra high on sugar would be hell redefined. Grudgingly, Kent agreed and left the now smirking tactician, wondering what he did to deserve such a fate as he headed towards Serra.

Serra sat at her table with Nino, passing food randomly into her mouth, thinking of what to do for the day, Erk, ways to kill Rebecca, Erk, ways to maim Rebecca, more Erk, ways to severely would Rebecca, how good Erk would look in a tux as she walked up to the alter towards him, how to bring Rebecca within an inch of her miserable little life, watch the wench beg for it, and then cutting off that little bitch's head and dr-

"Lady Serra." A voice broke into her thoughts. She looked up to see Kent and Nino look at her oddly. She looked down to see a piece of melon being perforated into mush under her fork.

"Oh, hello." Serra said, blushing.

"Serra." Kent said stiffly. "As things stand, I have been assigned to be your vassal today. Which means I'll have to spend my day near you. Hopefully, this won't terribly inconvenience you."

Serra's eyes lit up like a pinball machine as a rather devious smile lit her face. Kent and Nino quickly exchanged worried glances. When Serra gets a devious smile, bad things usually happen.

"Excellent!" The young cleric squealed. "Nino, meet us up in our room, and bring anybody you know who hates She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named... or just want to see violence and fighting."

Nino nodded and went off to recruit people while Kent followed Serra up the stairs.

"I don't know what you're planning." Kent said. "But I must tell you that I'm just a tad worried. No good ever comes out of your plans."

"What? How could you say that?" Serra pouted as they entered their room. "My plans work out fine!"

"Okay, when Jessica let you direct the healers in the Battle against Linus, you managed to charge all the stave users, unarmed into the teeth of the enemy line. Not to mention that battle against Sonia where your brilliant deduction about the moving floor tiles nearly caused Marcus to drown. Also, did I mention the fact that you mistook your berserk staff for your physic staff and caused Raven to go on a murderous rampage...WHILE he was in the infirmary.. Oh and don't forget the Pasta Incident."

"Hey! I was framed."

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

Before Serra could retort, Nino came in the room with Bartre, a protesting Lucius, Wallace, Wil and Raven.

"This is all I feel safe about informing Serra."

Serra looked around and smiled deviously...again. "Excellent. This would do nicely."

The group mostly looked confused and glanced around wondering what was going on.

"Okay..." Raven said breaking the ice. "What exactly is going on? I've been told there's going to be fighting, but I wasn't told who what when were and how."

"Bartre likes fighting!"

"No master Bartre." Lucius sighed. "Oh dear, what am I doing here again?"

"I actually got lost, but this sounds fun."

Wil seemed to be the only one who wasn't confused. Serra calmed everyone and looked out, acting almost presidential in manner.

"Settle down. As you all know, there's been a recent abomination that has taken our company by storm."

Lucius looked up. "You do mean the lack of physical training over the last few days?"

"NO!" Serra said waving him off. "I'm talking about the engagement of one Erk and Rebecca."

A collective groan was heard as people began to stand up and shuffle towards the door. However, in a display of speed unparalleled by any human, Serra leaped in front of the door holding out what appeared to be a broken leg of a chair.

"NOBODY GETS OUT OF HERE!"

Everyone froze and backed away from the deranged girl, who stood holding out her weapon with her face flushed. In the dim glow of the torch lighting the room, Serra's canines had an eerie resemblance to fangs. Even Raven of all people shuddered despite themselves.

"You people..." Serra growled waving the makeshift club around dangerously. "Will help me or else you people..." She waved the club again causing a whimper from Lucius. "will leave here in a body bag."

Gulping, everyone nodded their head, and sat down quietly. After making sure all of her "minions" were now under her control, Serra launched into a twisted and deadly plan to deal with the Rebecca Problem as she called it. As the meeting progressed, Kent's worst nightmare was confirmed.

'I'm bunking with a psychopath.'

Quickly, he began writing down Serra's detailed descriptions of her plan under the pretense of taking notes. He just hope Serra didn't ask for his parchment later.

---

Kent strolled down the stairs and into the lobby with Serra. Most everyone else was out and about the small town now. As he walked, Kent scanned the area for anyone who can help. His first thought was the lords... but then he saw Hector, Eliwood and Lyn stride into the hot springs. Cursing, Kent stuffed his notes into a pocket. They would have to wait for the moment. Oh how he wished at that moment that Karel wasn't gone. He was probably the only person who would've taken on Psycho-Serra. Hell, he would've taken the chair Serra dismantled and beat her half to death for even thinking about threatening him. Sighing, Kent followed Serra along as she ticked off shopping list items to nobody in particular.

Just as they left the door, Kent saw the postal worker. Quickly telling Serra he needed to use the loo and would catch up with her, Kent strode over to the mailman.

"Hello, can I help you?" The postal worker asked cheerfully.

"Yes...I need you to deliver something to a mage named Erk." Kent said pulling out his notes. "He has purple hair...about this tall and is usually grumpy unless he's around a girl with green hair."

"Oh, I've seen him around." the man said. "I'll be sure to get it to him."

"Thank you Mr... uhh..."

"Erimus."

"Ahh, well thank you sir."

"No problem."

Kent left the mailman to his work and followed Serra into Sonia's store. As he carried various deadly looking equipment and spells for the mad cleric, he hoped that Erk would be able to get the message in time.

---

Erk sighed contently as he took a sip of hot chocolate and flipped a page of his book. Rebecca was off doing god knows what with Louise leaving Erk and Pent to themselves. Naturally the two decided to spend the rather chilly day inside with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book.

Just then, he heard a throat clearing itself above him. Erk looked up to see a radical looking man standing over him holding out a parchment.

"Can I help you?"

The man smiled and held the parchment out more. "Someone wanted to send this to you."

"Oh... really? Who was it?"

"Uhm... big guy...red hair, looked kinda worried."

"Red hair? Oh whatever..I'm sure I'll figure it out."

"He said it was important."

Erk nodded and thanked the man. By now, Pent's curiosity was piqued and both student and mentor had put down their respective books to read the mysterious message. By the time they were finished, an air of dreary silence had settled over their corner.

"...I never thought she would stoop that low." Erk mumbled.

Pent smacked his student upside the head. "This is serious... we need to protect Rebecca. I'll go find her and Louise. You go around and find someone who can help us."

"Alright...we'll meet in the church in say thirty minutes?"

"Make it twenty...now go!"

Erk ran out of the inn, thinking of who to turn to. Looking down at his paper, he groaned when he saw Raven and Lucius' names on the list. Counting in his head, he knew that Sain, all three Pegasus sisters and Karel of all people were gone. Erk sighed, knowing that the Lords were "busy" for the day and Jessica was sadistic enough to see this play out. Thinking he had no more avenues to pursue, Erk hung his head and turned up the road, hoping to collect at least a few people. Then his eye caught Nino's name on the paper. He now knew who to turn to.

---

Jaffar jumped and sent a well aimed roundhouse kick into the man who tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to see a purple haired mage holding his head in pain.

"...don't scare me like that."

"Oww! You don't have to hit so hard."

Jaffar just shrugged. "I take it there's a reason for you to sneak up on me like that?"

Erk had gotten up and dusted the snow off his coat. "Yes, there is. I need your help."

The two men made their way slowly to the church. On the way, Erk explained the situation and told Jaffar the people involved in Serra's little speech. Somewhere along the line, Jaffar made it clear that he would not hurt Nino. Erk nodded but made clear that he would not let Rebecca get hurt.

Pent, Louise, Rebecca and three other people Pent managed to pick up were waiting in the church when Erk arrived with Jaffar. Erk surveyed the room and nodded his approval. Pent had managed to gain the support of Matthew, Rath and Oswin.

"Okay... now that we're all here... what are we going to do?" Erk asked. "I don't think Serra's going to care that we're in a church...plus Brian's not around to give us sanction."

Pent sighed, Serra had picked a good morning to go berserk. "Okay, judging from what Kent listed as Phase I of 'Operation Fluffy Pink Bunnies,' Rebecca is supposed to step into a rather nasty spell trap outside the store involving quite a few exotic staves. If I'm reading the effects of these staves correctly, there won't be enough of Rebecca left to even make an identification."

"That's wonderful dear." Louise said calmly. "But that won't help poor Rebecca... and I don't think letting Serra know that we're onto her is a good idea... that girl has some issues."

"More like a lot of issues." Matthew muttered.

Erk rolled his eyes and settled down next to Rebecca, who had a blank look on her face. "Okay... I think we seem to be forgetting about our victim."

Everyone quickly fell quiet and looked at Rebecca, who still looked like she just got shot. Erk quickly gave her a squeeze and muttered a few comforting words in her ear. Pent watched the young couple and sighed. Through their travels, Serra has pulled a lot of weird stunts, but none of them ever got fatal.

"Letting them siege us in this church won't help us at all."

Everyone looked up and turned towards the voice. Jaffar rolled his eyes and continued on. "This place is basically four walls and a roof, one entrance, one exit, no secret rooms, no secret passages. If we let them trap us in here, no good can come of it."

After getting over the fact that Jaffar just said more than ten words, Pent took a quick look around the church. The assassin was correct. The church was basically four walls, simply decorated, one door in the back for entrance and exits, a few pews, and an altar at the front. Not a good place to be sieged.

"So what do you suggest we do?"

Jaffar shrugged. "Go on with life. They don't know that we know what they're up to. As proven by the fact that Kent just handed us a note, some of their members are definitely being held against their will. Just make sure someone's always near Rebecca, the rest of us would just watch out for traps and ambushes. It's the simplest method."

"Won't that just make her an open target?" Erk asked. "We can't just have Rebecca walking out in the open."

"I never said anything about walking out in the open." Jaffar replied calmly. "She was going to go shopping this morning right? Go shopping. The rest of us would sweep the location for traps and keep an eye on Serra and her group."

Erk gritted his teeth, it wasn't something he'd like to do. "Does everyone agree to this?"

Matthew looked up from his spot. "As much as I don't want to agree with this creep, that unfortunately seems to be the best course of action."

Oswin nodded. "Serra's an unpredictable mine if you will. Who knows what she'll do when she knows that people are actually willing to protect her."

Erk sighed. "Well... I guess that's what we'll have to do. You okay 'becca?"

Rebecca nodded meekly. She gave Erk a peck and walked over th Louise. The two women walked solemnly out of the church to what may be one of the deadliest shopping trips since the release of the new Stony UtherStation 3 magical gaming system with a built in magic disk viewer where a couple of people got Elfired for refusing to give up their stuff. Ahh, silly Stony and their lack of supply to the public demand and their incessant need for a magic disk viewer, soon they'll be making their wagon wheels with a built in viewer.

But I digress, as the women left the men gathered and discussed strategy. It was at this point, Serra managed to, with the help of her minions rig fiery death traps in various clothing sections of the department store. Linking her network of traps to a central activation device with a bulky magical rod station, her trap looked more like a fortress defense system rather than an assassination ambush. All in all, the entire thing was completely obvious and not very well hidden. Not to mention if Serra pushed the wrong button, one of her own people, like Lucius could easily be incinerated instead of Rebecca. Still, in Serra's own little demented world, it was the perfect trap.

Death looked down upon Silent Springs with glee. He didn't know who was going to get hurt... but he knows that somebody will get hurt, and he was never one for missing out on some hot destructive action.

---

Matthew and Rath made their way to the department store. Louise and Rebecca were still strolling along, trying their best to act natural. Erk, Pent, Jaffar and Oswin were doing a sweep of the other buildings. The first thing they noticed was Raven and Bartre pretending to read the news scrolls out front. Raven, they might understand, but Bartre? Reading the news? That was unheard of. Hell, they still weren't sure Bartre could read. The man had a good heart...but he was never educated. Not many people were, especially from out in the middle of nowhere.

Then inside the shop, Wallace and Kent were trying to flirt with Sonia...who looked like she wanted to cut her wrists. Matthew and Rath struggled to keep a straight face. They didn't know which was funnier... Kent failing at flirting, or Wallace actually doing better than Kent but still failing because Sonia could not stop staring at his...baldness.

As he flirted... Kent noticed Matthew and Rath watching him out of the corner of his eyes. He gave them a signal to head up the stairs. Matthew and Rath caught the gesture and quickly left the room, leaving a depressed Sonia wondering why the hell her boyfriend decided to choose today of all days to go give every child in the village a physical examination in the snow.

Matthew poked his head through the stairs and checked the second floor. Nodding a clear, he and Rath quickly followed. In the corner, they saw Nino looking at broadswords.

"...oh COME ON!"

Rath quickly clamped a hand to Matthew's mouth. He could tell that the spy was getting a little antsy. He had to admit... so far, Serra was failing miserably. She had Bartre pretend to read, Kent and Wallace distracting the clerk via flirtation, and Nino standing watch while pretending to look at weapons that are larger than she is.

Matthew quickly calmed down though as Rath pointed up another set of stairs towards the clothing department. The two silently made their way towards the clothing department.

At this, Nino took out her communication staff and quickly transmitted a message to Serra. Noticing this, Matthew quickly whispered a plan into Rath's ear. The nomad nodded and the two headed up the stairs.

Matthew almost laughed when he saw the setup Serra had. Not only was the trap so blatantly obvious that you had to be completely retarded to be caught in the various incineration points, but also because two of Serra's watchers, Lucius and Wil were direction in line of fire from one of the five incinerate staves rigged up to blow. Matthew walked around, pretending to be looking for a pair of gloves. He noticed a few Elfire tomes and a rather deadly looking spell called Excalibur wedged between sections in the men's underwear section. He did not want to think about the thought process that went into that trap being placed.

Meanwhile, Rath was noticing peculiarities as well. The light tomes were placed completely haphazardly. The only way the light emitted from the tomes would hit anything but the ceiling would be if Rebecca climbed to the top layer of the shelf and looked down to the first layer.

After deciding that this place, while filled with deadly explosives, was a little to obvious, Matthew and Rath moved. Rath continuing to check the rest of the building, Matthew to report back to Louise.

---

Wil floated over to Serra after watching the two men leave. "...Serra... how is this supposed to really do anything? Only an idiot would miss the trips."

Serra glared at Wil before smirking evily. "You'll see my friend, you'll see."

Wil gulped and floated back to his location. After a while, Serra floated over to him.

"Wil, take over here, I'm going to go set up some precautions at other locations."

"What do you mean take over? I have no clue how your contraptions work."

Serra smacked the sniper over the head. "You just push the buttion there." She pointed to a little thingy that looked like a box with a few buttons on it. "And then something will happen with the traps."

"...Serra, I don't think this'll work."

"Oh, it'll work alright." Serra smiled. "Just you see."

With that, she strode from the room, looking almost like a pink haired assassin. Wil shook his head and took the spot that Serra recently vacated. 'Remind me never to piss her off...'

---

Matthew caught up to Louise and Rebecca as they entered the main part of town. Waving them over, Matthew delivered his report. Louise sighed a relief when she heard about the horrible planning that went into the trap process. But nevertheless, she and Rebecca remained alert as they entered the shop. Matthew himself disappeared into the shadows and followed the two. Although the placement of the traps seemed laughable, he knew that with Serra anything was possible. As he followed, he noticed that Kent and Raven were gone, leaving only Bartre to pretend to read the news and Wallace to flirt with Sonia. Plus, Nino also vanished from her spit in the broadswords section.

To the laymen, the sight would've brought relief. But Matthew really wondered where the missing sentries were. It was very possible that the first trap they laid was a decoy, meant to throw off meddlers. Which would mean that Serra knows that they know. Matthew followed even closer to Louise and Rebecca. At least Serra didn't know that he knows that Serra knows that Rebecca knows. He smiled grimly to himself. It was certainly an interesting chain of knowledge.

When Louise and Rebecca walked into the store, Wil and Lucius were pretending to be browsing, which would've been convincing if they hadn't been looking at sun dresses. The two women surveyed the room and Louise held in a giggle. The whole setup was just as Matthew described, laughable. And Wil and Lucius just shrugged their shoulders at the women. They had no intention of incinerating either of them.

"It's okay Matthew... I think we're fine." Louise said out loud considering she had no clue where the assassin is.

"Yeah, I don't think we're really going to follow Serra's insane orders." Wil added. "We're mostly here to humor her."

Matthew considered it for a moment. Everything seemed logical. All of the people involved with Serra were just trying to prevent another Serra-tantrum and all this was just for show. Serra was probably rigging other buildings, and he knew for a fact that Wil wouldn't ever hurt Rebecca.

Just as he was about to drop his guard, he noticed something. Rath was nowhere to be seen. There were only two other floors to the store, and they're probably not that rigged. By all accounts, he should have reported back by now. But he hasn't. Somewhere in the back of his head, Matthew couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that they were underestimating Serra.

As if to confirm his fears, an unconscious Rath tumbled down the stairs and landed at Rebecca's feet. The young girl whimpered and quickly took a few quick steps away from the limp nomad. Matthew looked up and saw a hazy white mist wafting down from the upper floors. He hoped to god that Serra didn't actually release a toxin into a civillian store.

Uncloaking himself, he dashed over to Rath with a cloth over his nose and mouth and dragged the young nomad across the room to the stairs. Then he signaled for everyone to get out of the room with some frantic waving, considering his face was covered. Everyone took the hint and covered their faces too as they dashed down the stairs.

Sonia was about to seriously consider slicing her wrists when a young man barreled down the stairs with a rather life-like rag doll. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that the lump in Matthew's arms wasn't a doll. Getting out from behind the counter with a med-kit, Sonia dashed passed the now distracted Wallace and kneeled over Rath's body. She then noticed a few more people running down the stairs with terrified looks on their faces.

"What happened?"

"I think Serra released a poison or sleeping gas in the fourth or fifth floor." Matthew answered. "Is he still alive?"

Sonia poked around Rath's neck to check for a pulse, sighing in relief when she found one. She gave Matthew the med-kit and ventured up the stairs with a piece of cloth over her face. Looking up, she saw the white misty cloud swirling down into the second floor. It looked a lot like a brand of knock out gas recently developed by the twins, Clide and Clive. Making a mental note to kill the two ancient guardians, Sonia ran back downstairs.

"It's sleeping gas." She said. "Someone got into Clide and Clive's secret stash. That stuff's like sleeping powder on crack. Once you go under, you stay under for a good twelve hours. We need to get out of this building. Once that gas hits open air, it'll dissipate, but right now, that cloud will have us sleeping for a week."

"No wonder Serra left us." Lucius mused. "Looks like the incinerates were all for show."

Matthew hoisted Rath to his shoulders and carried him out. After making sure Louise and Rebecca were fine, he turned around to see Sonia talking rather angrily to Lucius, Wil, Wallace and Bartre. Apparently, Serra forgot to pay for all the equipment she used in her trap. Plus she left quite a bit of damage and effectively shut down the store for a while. Sonia held out a bill and was waiting for one of the guilty accomplices to take it. Matthew strode over as he meant to have a chat with one of them. He looked at the bill and nearly choked on his own blood. There was enough damage done to property and merchandise to make the Ostian treasury blush. Matthew gulped. Lord Hector would not like it when he found out one of his subordinates just cost his brother half the royal funds.

Speaking of Serra, where the hell was she? With the disappearance of Nino, Kent and Raven, Matthew was sure that the store was no longer the only building rigged. Just as Matthew pondered where the pink haired devil could have gone off to, Rath began to stir. Everyone, including Rebecca, quickly ran over to the nomad. Everyone except for Wallace and Bartre who wandered off with dazed expressions.

"Rath!" Louise cried. "What happened?"

Rath groaned as he tried to sit up with Wil's support. "I saw Serra leave with some people and a rather large bag of items. I was going to follow, but then I tripped a fishing line and... then it's all dark."

This confirmed what Matthew had feared. Serra was off to rig other buildings, and she knew that they knew what she was up to.

"This is bad." Louise said. "I think we should just take Rebecca back to the room... or even off the mountains for at least until Priscilla, the pegasi sisters and Karel gets back. At least then we'd have enough force to subdue her."

"Well, by noon, Jessica would be back with the Lords from god knows where she took them this morning and then we'd have order." Rath noted.

Matthew nodded. "I don't think we need to actually physically go off the mountain. And besides, Serra could trigger an avalanche and kill us all. I think we should just go along with Serra here, humor her a little."

Everyone stared at Matthew.

"No, I mean don't do anything unexpected. Like, now for instance, Rebecca, what were you and Louise planning to do after you went shopping?"

Rebecca thought for a while then shrugged. "We were going to shop all morning... but I guess... I'd go find Erk?"

As if on cue, Erk and Pent walked into view from around the hot springs entrance building. Matthew waved them over.

"Anything?"

Erk shook his head. "No, I think Kate went with the Astharsa group. The whole place is locked down and barriered. Not even Pent could blast his way inside."

"Hmm..." Louise said thoughtfully. "That rules out any traps in there." She turned to Serra's former minions. "Do you guys have any clue what she's up to?"

Wil shook his head. "No, Nino grabbed us and told us that she had something important for us to do. Then we were forced into service by Serra. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if she hunted us down any minute now and made us do another maniacal task. Though I do believe that Serra was loading poisons and rather nasty looking daggers into her bag."

The implications were not lost on Matthew, nor on anyone else for that matter.

"Who went to the restaurant?" Erk asked slowly.

"Oswin."

Erk sighed and turned to Sonia, who heard everything. "Can you tell your sisters that someone may try to poison the food?"

She didn't need to be told twice as she hurriedly sprinted towards the restaurant just as Oswin emerged holding what looks like a bag of trash. The group quickly moved to meet him across the street.

"Did you find anything Oswin?" Erk asked.

"Nothing too suspicious." Oswin said. "Until I saw these bottles. I have no clue what was in here, but I just know that Miss Fae had no clue who they belonged to or what they are. She's looking at all the food to see if there's anything weird in them."

"They're probably poisons." Matthew said. "Wil said he saw Serra stuff them into bags."

"That girl..." Oswin muttered. "Fae needs to be informed at once before she decides to taste test."

"We had Sonia go." Louise said. "Okay, that takes care of the poison, what about the daggers?"

Matthew looked around. "Well, if she couldn't rig the springs...then the only place left would be the inn."

"Or the school yard." Wil offered. "And the church."

"I doubt we'll be going to the church." Matthew said. "And I HOPE Serra's not sick enough to actually rig dagger traps in a school."

"He wouldn't" Louise said. "One of the teachers was there grading papers. Maybe in the huge dept store Serra could get away with rigging it while a person is in the room, but not in the school, it's not big enough."

"Okay...so that leaves...the inn." Pent said. "Christ, does Serra intend to drag EVERYONE into her crazy vendetta?"

"I wouldn't think it's everyone." Oswin said. "Just Rebecca..."

"But if she is in love with Erk." Lucius added. "She wouldn't rig their room, that could possibly kill Erk."

"No...she'd rig mine and Pent's" Louise said. "Rebecca spends a lot of time with me... so it would be a logical choice to make."

"And Serra knows that you're helping Rebecca..." Matthew said. "Yeah, I think that'd make sense. But I do think that Serra would rig other places just in case."

"So we just avoid the inn?" Erk suggested. "It looks like it's nearing midday anyways."

"Hmm, maybe." Matthew said. "Where's Jaffar?"

"Behind you." A mysterious voice cracked. Matthew nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Elimine! Don't do that."

"...feh..."

Louise pulled Matthew away. "Any news?"

"Serra was bustling around in the inn. It's definitely rigged. Dorcas nearly got skewered in the rear end when he tried to sit on the couch."

"So what now? We need to keep her safe for at least another hour or two." Erk said.

"I think we should go into the village." Jaffar said.

Everyone fell silent. Louise shook her head violently. "No, there are children there. We can't get those people involved in Serra's insanity."

"But... it's the only place we're really safe." Matthew said. "Everywhere else is either rigged, gassed or we'd become sitting ducks."

Rebecca shook her head. "No, I'd rather die than endanger these nice people."

"Rebecca!" Erk grasped Rebecca by the shoulders. "Don't think about dying...ever."

The girl smiled weakly and leaned up to peck her fiancé. "I don't want to...but I'm not endangering the children."

As everyone pondered their dilemna, two cloaked figures phased in beside Jaffar, giving the cold assassin probably the first scare he had in his life.

"If you need sanctuary..." One of the figures spoke up.

"...we know of one where you would be safe." The second figure finished.

Matthew blanched. There was no mistaking the voices. Just as he was about to expose the figures, one of them pulled out a silent staff and rendered the spy speechless, literally.

"Trust us to do no harm to you."

"We only wish your safety whilst you vacation."

Erk gaped at the mysterious hooded figures. "And you want us to trust you after you silenced Matthew."

"Only because he would slander us."

"But ask his heart, does he know us to not intentionally harm you?"

Everyone looked at Matthew who sighed and threw his arms up in surrender. The two were jerks and troublemakers, but they weren't the enemy.

"All right." Pent said. "And no civilians would be hurt?"

"No."

"Absolutely not."

"Good." Erk said. "Oh... and may we ask your names?"

"You will find out..."

"...in due time."

"That is getting really annoying." Jaffar muttered, recovering from his shock.

The figures just smirked and signaled for the group to follow them. From a balcony on the inn, Serra grinned evilly at the departing group.

"So... you think you've outsmarted me huh?" She mumbled before turning around and raising an ancient and ornate staff. "Mind slaves... I have new assignments for you."

Wallace, Bartre and Raven mumbled something incoherent as Serra transmitted silent messages to them. From her side, Nino and Kent exchanged frightful glances. No good can come of this.

---

In the library, Kevin awoke to a fresh day of reading and learning more ancient spells. He was glad that people are starting to leave him and his library alone. After spending a good deal of time destroying Kate and Kiyoko's renovations, Kevin couldn't wait for some entertainment more suited to his tastes.

Kevin got out of bed and dressed in his traditional fruity colored druid robes and went through his morning routine. As he walked out the door for some fresh air to start the day, he saw Clide and Clive approaching him in the distance with a few people following them. Kevin stood perplexed. This was either going to be very painful, or very amusing. The druid made a mental note to carry a few more spare flux tomes around because regardless of what was going to happen, he knew that there are bound to be giant explosions. And Elimine be damned if he missed any part of that action.

* * *

Charlie: Wow, I actually FINISHED this chapter.

Erk: Yes you did... that was amazing.

Charlie: Yeah, it took a while. Sorry, but my computer just decided to blow up...and the replacement I was using until I earned enough money to buy a new one was so shitty that I had to reserve pretty much every ounce of resources in the computer to homework (I'm a computer science and engineering major...so yeah, that involved a lot of computer work). Anyways... I'll be trying to do a chapter a week...usually updates will be on Saturday evening or Sunday... depending on length and activities.

Erk: Five bucks says he breaks his promise next week.

Charlie: HEY! -smacks Erk- Anyways, sorry again, and I hope you guys enjoyed this. And this is a sign that I haven't abandoned this yet... I just needed to get some things in order.


	38. Truth and Reconciliation

Charlie: It is two AM in the morning. If any of you remember "Winters004" let it be known that he is a douchebag. We were supposed to leave Irvine and head home at three, but he decided to have a lay in... at THREE PM and he turned his CELL PHONE OFF. So we wandered Irvine for about thirty minutes wondering where the heck he is. So thus I am late in getting this started. We shall see how far I get with this.

Erk: I find it amazing that you're actually updating this.

Charlie: I know...a while ago I was also bored to a point where I was submitting signed reviews.

Erk: You speak blasphemy.

Charlie: Anyways, I have a few notes. As some of you may have noticed, I changed the title of this fic. Yes, this is "Fourteen Days: Purgatory" now. As in, this will be the first seven days culminating in the dance on day seven. I'm splitting this into two stories mostly because after that horribly long break, I'm starting to get lost. So hopefully after I finish the first week (and with it, the end of the Winter Ball story arc) I'll be reading my own fic, figuring out what I've did already, and then continuing on. Besides, I think a dance is a good place to end. (Kudos to those who figure out the book I'm parodying with the title.)

Erk: And your ulterior motive?

Charlie: I really don't have one. Maybe to let new readers be able to catch up? Because I will recap the basics of what happened here in the next segment.

Erk: To think...this was spawned of a Random Number Generator.

Charlie: Yes. Anyways, I don't own Fire Emblem, and I hope you guys have fun. I want to push for 1000 reviews for the first segment. Hopefully we'll make it. We still have a bit of craziness to go before the ball... and this might get a bit more FE oriented as I've established my OCs and gave the FE guys time to get accustomed to the place. Now the OCs will be playing support.

* * *

**Operation Fluffy Pink Bunnies II**

**A.K.A.**

**Truth and Reconciliation**

If Death still had a stomach, he'd be holding it in pain. Looking down at the impending stand off, the interference of the undying twins gave Sturm an idea. No doubt Clide and Clive would invoke ancient mystical arts. So...

"DEMITRA!"

The grim reaper's assistant stormed over, unhappy at being called away from her break.

"What is it NOW?!"

Death smiled wickedly. "Get the paperwork ready, we're giving the demon cleric some powers."

"Don't you have souls to collect?"

Death glanced at his assistant. "...So? They're dead. They won't be going anywhere for a while."

"You're the worst reaper ever."

"I know, hop to it."

"Douche..."

---

Serra looked at the library. She smirked. The dogs were trapped. And each and every one of them will die, except for Erky, and maybe Matthew. She did require a slave. Turning back towards her troops, or at least, the non-hypnotized ones. Wil and Lucius had betrayed her, and for that they shall die.

"Kent, status report."

The paladin gulped before pulling out a piece of warn parchment. "It's the six of us against nine of them plus their reinforcements. Not to mention they're fortified and we actually have to charge at them in the open. They do have two archers and that library is one crazy place."

Serra slumped. Stupid Rebecca, why did she have to have so many friends? It just wasn't fair. Just as Serra was in her moment of despair, a voice rang in her head.

"Do you desire the power of temporary immortality?"

"Wha? Who are you?" She asked the air. Nino and Kent looked at her. If Serra seemed crazy before, it was nothing compared to her now.

"I am Death, but I am also one who knows how to defy death. I can teach you the ways."

"Oh please Death, teach me your ways!"

Kent and Nino took a LARGE step back away from the cleric. It was the incinerate staff aimed at their heads that kept them from bolting.

"Very will, I shall give you and your allies the power of immortality. Be wary, your opponents have such power as well. But the effects are merely temporary. By the stroke of noon, you shall be mortal again."

The voice vanished. Serra looked up at her troops, her eyes gleaming demonically.

"We have immortality." Serra said happily.

"What?!" Kent exclaimed. "Don't tell me you finally sold your soul."

"Oh no." Serra said. "Death came and gave us the power because apparently those mysterious hooded men gave Rebecca and her cronies immortality too."

"...I have nothing to say to that." Kent said. "Serra, please, just stop this."

Serra's eyes flashed again as Kent cowered. "NO! Erk was the only one I had. And that skank STOLE him from me! I WILL HAVE MY ERKY!"

In her eyes, Kent caught something else. A flash of emotion? Loneliness perhaps? There was more to the cleric than meets the eye. Kent was determined to find out before anyone got killed. As he pondered, Serra handed him a strange looking device.

"What in Elimine's name is this?"

Serra pointed towards a tubular section of the device. "It's a flux capacitor...or that's what the tag said. I got it at the store. Apparently, if you point that at something, and press that button there, it'll shoot a flux spell out."

In demonstration, Serra shot a bolt from her capacitor into Bartre's gut. The dark energy consumed the man entirely, burning him until nothing remained but a pile of ashes.

"HOLY SAINT ELIMINE! WHY'D YOU-"

Before Kent could respond, Bartre re-appeared a few feet behind them, where a mysterious glowing flag had appeared.

"Excellent." Serra said. "Come on, the time is now."

As Kent and Nino followed the mind controlled slaves as they followed Serra, the young mage clung to Kent's arm.

"I'm scared..."

"We all are." Kent said. "But I think Serra's more scared of herself than we'll ever be."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know yet." Kent looked at Serra as she drew charts in the snow with a stick. "But there's more to Serra than we know... I just hope I can break her before someone gets killed."

---

Kevin welcomed his guests into the library and shut the door. He went to a side window and looked out.

"Yeah, they followed you guys... and oh!"

The group looked at the librarian, who had an unreadable expression on his face. He motioned for the twins to see what he just say. The twins went over and looked outside just as Kevin did and they two started to act weird.

"If it isn't too much to ask..." Erk said. "Can you guys tell us what's going on?"

Kevin and the twins nodded at each other and turned towards everyone.

"Well, are you guys ready for a long and brutal siege?" Kevin asked as the twins began incanting a spell.

"What do you mean long and brutal siege?" Pent asked. "We outnumber them!"

"Yes, BUT..." Kevin went on to explain the immortality spell and the flux capacitors. ".. and plus although Clide and Clive can give us the same ability, our respawn times are much longer...so that will eventually take away our advantage."

The life mood in the room darkened significantly. They had finally thought they found sanctuary, and now they were being forced to fight again.

Rebecca looked up. She let go of Erk's hand and stepped forward. "So are we invincible too?"

"Yeah." Clide said. "You are now... but when you get 'killed,' you'll go into a state of being for like, half a minute. They respawn almost instantly."

"Where do we spawn?" Rebecca asked.

"At special points." Clide said. "We set them up. But they can destroy our spawn points because ours will be physically manifested. Theirs is manifested by Death himself, so we can't destroy it."

"Okay..." Rebecca turned to everyone. "It's time to fight."

"What?" Everyone jumped up. "Rebecca." Erk said.

The young sniper silenced her lover with a shake of her head. "I'm tired of it all." She said. "I don't want to be a weakling and hide behind you guys again. I will fight."

"Rebecca..." Louise stepped forward but she was stopped by Pent. "Are you sure?" The Mage General asked. "They are trying to kill you... and from what Kevin tells us, if they destroy all our spawn points and/or our time limit runs out, we will die... and you know you're the prime target."

"It doesn't matter." Rebecca said. "I can't just let you guys die in my place. At least now you'll have another sharp shooter."

Rath stepped forward. "Let her fight Erk."

"But..."

"She won't be able to live if you die." Rath said. "In respect of her honor, let her fight. She's at least invincible for now...and numbers are in our favor...we don't want to lose that."

Erk sighed. He turned to Matthew and Jaffar for help but both Assassins stood complacent to what's happening. Jaffar even more so. He finally conceded.

"Fine... do we get capacitors too?"

Clide nodded. "Of course, we invented them, so obviously we'll have a stash here." His twin began handing out what looked like a long narrow barrow attached to a weird glowing thing and a trigger.

"It's rather simple.. aim by lining up your targets with the two sights, and then press the capacitor." Kevin said as he pointed his capacitor at Clide and fired. The former cloud took the hit and burned into a crisp, before reappearing thirty seconds later at a flag near the back of the room. He walked forward and dusted himself off.

"So yeah, everything is in place..." He said as he looked around at the staring people. "What?"

"Didn't that hurt?" Erk asked.

"Actually no." Clive said. "You actually won't feel a thing when you get shot..." He pointed his capacitor at Matthew and fired. The assassin gave a surprised yelp before disappearing. Thirty seconds later, he stormed back, fling curse words around.

"YOU SON OF A-"

"But it didn't hurt right?" Clive asked.

"THAT'S NOT THE..."

"It didn't hurt."

"Okay...no, it didn't...BU-"

"Thank you." Clive silenced him. "That was a demonstration. You won't feel any pain unless all our spawn points are destroyed. If you get killed before we can set up another one, you will stay dead."

"Now..." Kevin took the front. "Because the twin terrors, and I'm not talking about these two..."

Everyone shuddered as they thought about Vaida and her killer hair. Although the men did have to agree , Vaida did looked stunning now.

"Anyways, none of the traps work yet... I've split the Library into three zones. here's the lobby. We'll be making our first stand here. The spawn point's in the back behind the desk which will provide heavy cover. The door is the only way in or out so they have to charge through here. We can fire at them through the windows. If they do manage to break in, the entire front area is surrounded by tables. We'll over turn them and make little bunkers all the way to our spawn flag."

"Can't they just flux the walls?" Someone asked

Clide shook his head. "No, the flux capacitors are designed for use against infantry only. It actually absorbs organic material and burns it, thus sustaining itself. That's why ashes are left. Once the material becomes inorganic, it can't be used by the capacitor."

Most of the group had no idea what most of the words meant, but the meaning got acrossed. The watched as Kevin produced a map of a maze like area.

"This is the maze zone of the place." Kevin said. "There are two rooms, one in the front, and one in the back leading to the archive. The archive is the only room where the traps are activated. They can go in there all they want, we won't. Here is where things get interesting. We have close ranged capacitors in the back room where you can exchange. Now we're going to be shooting and fighting in close quarter combat so speed is more important than ranged accuracy. We have a map and they don't so hopefully we can use secret doors and traps to our advantage. I have them marked. I'll give you a map if we get there."

"Question." Matthew said. "How do they destroy our spawn points?"

"They carry our spawn flag back to theirs. The ghost one will absorb ours." Clide said. "When they have our spawn point, we won't be able to spawn at the one being carried. So basically, if they get ours, we have like, one shot to get it back."

"How do we get it back?" Erk asked.

"We kill the carrier and then touch the flag. It'll warp back to it's original place. The spawn points recognize us."

"Ahh..."

Keven produced third map. "This is the private sector. It's basically some hallways and a lot of rooms. We'll practice guerrilla warfare here. So hide, shot, move, repeat."

Clive looked out the window. "They're getting ready to charge!"

Kevin looked out. "It's all you guys. Good luck. We'll be helping you, but mostly because we want to blow stuff up. I think the three of us will be more busy with maintaining the spawn points though."

Erk nodded. "Thank you." He turned to Matthew. "You seem to be the most tactical of us?"

"I'm a spy." Matthew said. "Anyways, there are four windows... and nine of us. So two to each window. Jaffar, are you comfortable with trying to sneak around and flanking them from the back?"

Jaffar nodded. He actually would prefer that.

"Okay, there's nothing much, just keep your heads down and keep firing."

"Oh yeah!" Kevin called. "There's a two second recoil on the capacitor rifles!"

Everyone nodded as they set up defenses and got ready by the windows... and waited.

---

Serra finished drawing various charge formations to the library. Kent had to admit, she was getting better. Serra even accounted for flankers and rooftop snipers.

As she finished, she turned towards Kent and Nino. "Oh yeah... by the way."

"Yes Serra?"

"I can hear you thoughts." Serra said. She held up her mind slave staff. "And I don't approve of them"

Kent and Nino saw a flash of light before everything turned black. When they woke up, they found themselves floating above their now mind slaved bodies. They looked over and saw ghostly versions of each other as well as Bartre and Raven.

"Hey!"

"She got you two too huh?" Raven said. "Pity."

"She's going senile." Kent said. "Is there any way we can get to her?"

"We've been trying." Raven said. He glanced at Bartre. "Okay, I've been trying... no dice."

Kent sighed, he needed to figure out what to do and fast.

---

Serra looked at her army of mind slaves and then back to the library. It was time.

"Alright men, remember. You're doing this for honor, for glory, but mostly, you're doing this so I can have what's rightfully mine!"

The mind slaves gave monotonic cheers. Serra turned back and held up her rifle. "WE CHARGE!" She and her slaves charged forward. Halfway to the library, Serra saw faces in the windows. Aim her capacitor, she fired the shot heard 'round the world.

---

"OPEN FIRE!" Matthew cried. As they started firing, an eerie voice above them rang out.

"TEAM SLAYER!"

"What the?" Matthew asked. He looked to Clide who motioned for him to ignore the voice. Matthew shrugged. He turned around to see Rebecca nail Raven in the head.

"GAINED THE LEAD!"

Matthew shook his head. Whatever the voice is, it was narrating."

---

Death put down his scythe and laughed as he watched the battle unfold. He watched as Matthew nailed two of the assailants, and raised his scythe again.

"DOUBLE KILL."

He laughed again when the assassin just shook his head and kept firing.

---

Serra looked around her as her troops fell one by one, respawned, only to be cut down once again by the onslaught. She shook her head as she watched her and her teammates' shots bounce off the windows. Her opponent was too well fortified for a direct charge. It was time to change tactics. Telling her troops to fall back, Serra blasted off a few shots into the windows and fell back. Just before she could get to safety, a bolt of energy smacked her in the back. Five seconds later, Serra appeared out of the spawn point, looking murderous.

It looks like she would actually need intelligent troops.

---

Rebecca grinned as she watched her last shot smack Serra in the back. She looked around at the other people, also putting down their rifles and opening the windows more to get a better view. Serra had retreated, but they didn't know for how long. Kevin quickly took the opportunity to set up a few explosive Fenrir traps outside the main entrance. If anything, that would stall their foe. Regardless of how far Serra got in her charges, unless she manages to take their spawn point, she will always be transported back to her staging area well outside three hundred feet of the actual library.

Just then, Matthew heard distant shouts. He motioned for everyone to look outside. At Serra's staging point, bright flashes indicative of flux charges went off. Matthew smiled, Jaffar was giving them a lot of trouble.

---

Serra cursed as the bolts continued to rain on her party from seemingly nowhere as she got hit yet again and had to spend five seconds in a state of being over her body. During that time, she scanned around for the origins of the mysterious bolts that was starting to bug her. She noticed that they came from somewhere behind her. When she spawned, Serra immediately dove to the ground and watched as a bolt sailed over her and smashed into the snow, absorbing into the cold powder. This gave her an idea as she quickly used her hands and scooped up enough snow to build a little fort...

---

"KILLING SPREE!"

Jaffar shrugged the voice off as he kept sniping from a little snow bunker he built behind Serra's location. He's so used to voices in his head that this one seemed inconsequential. He popped off two more shots and incinerated Serra's mind slaves, who retardedly stood ramrod straight, trying to look for targets. Jaffar smirked. Just like Nergal, Serra's trust in mindless beings shall be her downfall.

"DOUBLE KILL!"

The kills just kept coming. But he noticed that Serra was no longer in his line of sight. Puzzled for a moment, he stopped his stream of fire and stuck us head out to look for the missing cleric. When he finally saw her behind the wall of snow, it was too late. A bolt of flux was also two feet away from his face.

---

Matthew saw the fireworks stop and knew that Serra found Jaffar. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Jaffar appeared at the rear of the room.

"She found me." was all he said. "Should I go out again?"

Matthew shook his head. "Just stay here, I have a feeling Serra's up to something."

Jaffar nodded. So did he.

---

Serra took her mind control staff and powered it down. She watched as life returned to her minion's eyes again. She looked around and saw four very very angry people.

"Serra!" Raven screamed. "YOU BACKSTABBING WHORE!"

Serra shrugged the insult off. "Alright new plan."

Kent shook his head. "What makes you think we'll go along with you after this?"

Serra pointed at her mind control staff. "Because I can just take control of your mind again... and when our invincibility wears off, I'll just use you as cannon fodder."

"You are an evil woman." Kent said, silently communicating with Raven through hand signals. "I can't believe you would stoop this low."

"No." Serra said. She turned and used an incinerate staff on Raven who was mere inches away from stealing her mind control staff. "I can't believe it is you who would let such an evil person steal away the only happiness I ever had."

"Serra..." Kent said as Raven respawned. It was clear that they would not be able to force their way out. "I don't think Erk's ever loved you. Anyone could see that he's truly hated you since the day we met you two."

"That's not true!" Serra insisted. "I won't let it be true! When we succeed, you'll see!"

"Serra..." Kent started but the cleric wasn't listening anymore. She was drawing a series of maps in the snow. Kent and Raven exchanged glances again as Wallace and Bartre stood stunned and rather lost looking.

"...Should we just play along?" Kent asked. "Nobody's dying until noon...hopefully I'll be able to crack her then."

"For everyone's sake." Raven said. "I hope you do."

The two then followed the rest of the group to where Serra drew out battle maps. Raven gave Wallace and Bartre a look that said 'just play along' while Kent squeezed Nino's hand, assuring her that everything would be fine. The group fell silent as Serra, very solemnly, explained her plan. Kent had to admit... it was a very good one too.

---

Matthew watched as the group across from them took stance to charge. He looked across and noticed a distinct change.

"Guys, I think Serra took off whatever magical weird thing she had on her minions. They look and act more like people now."

Pent looked at the group and he noticed the change too. Their enemies now shivered and flinched, unlike before. "Does that mean they can think for themselves? Why are they still charging?"

"Serra probably threatened them with another mystical staff." Pent said. "That cleric... how did she get the money to buy all this?"

Oswin growled. "She didn't... she probably stole them. And if anything, she probably told Sonia to send a bill to Castle Ostia."

"So what now?" Louise asked. "Do we fire on our friends as well?"

"We do." Erk said. "They'll understand. And they'll pray that we understand why they're firing on us."

"I hope they do." Matthew said as he raised his capacitor. "Because here they come."

---

The ground around Kent shook as the snow absorbed another flux bolt. He had to hand it to Serra, her method of building a system of snow bunkers was ingenious. They could technically approach within fifty feet of the castle before the flux bolts got too powerful for a makeshift snow fort to absorb. Still, if Serra weren't in a maniacal fit of rampage at the moment, Kent would applaud her.

As the group huddled behind their array of snow forts at the sixty feet yard, Serra ordered Nino to grab her bag for her near the spawn point. Sighing, Nino left her rifle with Serra before making a mad dash, only to be caught in the back just before she got out of the danger zone. The young girl was almost in tears. She had liked Erk... but she wouldn't go so far to have him. If Erk was happy with Rebecca, then he was happy with Rebecca. Even Priscilla saw that, but Serra just refused to see what was in front of her. Grabbing Serra's bag, Nino wipied her tears away as she dodged badly aimed bolts and wove her way back to Serra.

Serra took the bag and pulled out two mines and rope to serve as wicks. After sticking the wicks into the mines, she lit them with a blast of her incinerate staff and quickly tossed them at two separate windows.

Serra smiled at the resounding explosion... and she smiled even more when she heard the ever pleasant announcer.

"DOUBLE KILL..."

"TRIPLE KILL..."

"KILLTACULAR..."

"KILLING SPREE..."

"KILL FRENZY..."

"KILLTROCITY.."

"...KILLAMANJARO!".

Serra looked up. 'Killamanjaro?' she asked mentally. Death gave her a bored 'meh' and left it at that. Serra shrugged as she gave the signal to charge. There should be seven of them dead. Picking up her capacitor rifle, she joined in the charge, heading towards the main entrance which was now a large gaping hole after the grenades.

---

Jaffar was the only one still alive after the huge explosion. He watched as Serra and the others got out from their hiding spots and charged. He gripped his capacitor tightly, mentally counting down the seconds until his teammates respawned. But just as he was about to fire, a demonic looking Kevin stepped out in front of him.

"You...did not... just...blow a hole... in my LIBRARY!"

The librarian went berserk. Holding two capacitors, one in each hand, he began spraying while charging forward at the same time. Jaffar watched as one by one the enemies fell.

"DOUBLE KILL!"

"TRIPLE KILL!"

"KILLTACULAR!"

"KILL FRENZY!"

"KILLING SPREE!"

"KILLTROCITY!"

Kevin growled at the seven piles of ashes, before leaping over his mine trap and firing into the spawn.

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"RUNNING RIOT!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

and so it went on as Kevin continued to charge, his eyes blazing with anger.

---

For once in the entire morning, Serra was scared. The aura of anger exhuming from Kevin was almost tangible as he headed steadily towards them. The rifle bolts were cutting them down as soon as they spawned, and with a five second spawn time, he racked up his kill chain pretty fast. Serra thought fast... there has to be a way to stop the librarian. Serra used her time in limbo to survey her surroundings with the extra vision provided by being in ghost mode. She saw a small group trudging down the mountain towards the village. She got an idea.

---

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"IN THE ZONE!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

The voice was starting to annoy Kevin a bit. Apparently, Death wasn't creative enough to think of something past Killamanjaro, but he did have some interesting names for kill chains. Kevin kept shooting. The heathens will pay for what they did to his library.

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"UNTOUCHABLE!"

"KILLAMANJARO!..."

---

Serra knew she would have one chance with her tactic. After trying out various diving techniques and finding that Kevin was perfectly fine with shooting her in the head even if she pulled a midair three-sixty, she knew that she just had barely a second to put her plan in motion. She waited for the perfect moment...

---

"KILLAMANJARO!

"KILLAMANJARO!"

"UN-FREAKING-BELIEVALBLE!"

Kevin almost laughed at the last one... almost...

---

Serra saw the waver in Kevin's eyes, and she put her plan into action. "LOOK! IT'S KIYOKO!"

The librarian jumped. "WHERE?!" He roared bring up his rifles. Serra took the moment to fire a shot into his chest. When the man started to disintegrate, Serra sighed in relief. But before Kevin died, he fired one last parting shot. And it had a lovely collision with Serra's face.

"Ahh... -"

'Well, at least the psycho druid is gone.' She looked to her teammates. For some reason though, her teammates were less enthusiastic about the druid leaving.

'They don't think I'm worse than him...do they?... am I...?'

The demented bunnies in the dark zone of Serra's brain saw hope.

---

When Kevin respawned, Clide and Clive where there, giving him a standing ovation.

"That was the greatest marksmanship..."

"We've ever seen."

Kevin gave everyone a big bow. Truth be told, Clide and Clive weren't the only two clapping. With the exception of Jaffar who was looking at his own two hands oddly, everyone was joining in the appause... until a bolt of flux zoomed within inches of Clide's head.

"HEADS UP!" THEY'RE COMING IN!" the twins yelled as they dove behind an overturned table and returned fire. All around them, people were diving towards safety. The lucky ones managed to get cover safely and returned fire; the unlucky ones ate flux.

Just outside the library, Serra smiled in relief that once they push to the front entrance, they would finally have some cover. But her smile soon vanished as a pool of black energy surrounded both Kent and Nino, swallowing them hole. The bloody bastards had mined the front door, and god knows how many traps there were.

"WATCH THE FRONT!" She called out. The surviving members got the message before Serra yelled out the command as the leapt over the patch of snow just before the entrance and rolled into the wall for cover. Unfortunately, not everyone got there safely. A bolt of energy caught Bartre in the stomach and disintegrated him. Serra cursed from her spot. She had no choice but to throw her last mine. She was hoping she could save it for obstacles inside the building… but right now, she needed to hold the line at the entrance. The enemy could not push her back again. Lighting the makeshift mine/grenade, Serra lobed it into the library and hoped for the best.

"DOUBLE KILL!"

"TRIPLE KILL!"

Serra immediately turned around and fired into the library, strafing right from her location through the gap her mines made in the library and finding cover again on the other side.

"KILLTACULAR!"

'Excellent.' She thought. The odds were evened again as her fallen troops made it back to the front lines. Serra peeked in. Her mine had destroyed most of the overturned tables that her enemies had used for cover. Only three right near the back and the main counter still remained before she could reach the respawn flag.

"Allright, we have about twenty more seconds." Serra said. "Lets go get their flag."

Her troops gave a half hearted nod and followed their leader in… rifles blazing, praying that their friends would forgive them for attacking them.

Matthew cursed. They had lost Rath, Jaffar, Erk and most of their cover in the blast. Pent soon followed when Serra strafed the room. He knew that Serra would take the opportunity provided by their reduced numbers to assault the flag. If she could get the flag, then they would be handicapped severely when trying to reclaim it.

He cursed again when both Rebecca and Louise fell to a rather nasty onslaught directed at their table which was the outer most one of the ones that remained after that savage blast. Now they were outnumbered and it was a good fifteen seconds before anything would happen. Matthew quickly shot back, dispatching Bartre with a blast to the chest. But it was too late. The crossfire was too much as he too got hit. He watched hopelessly in limbo as Nino, Kent and Raven pinned Clide, Clive and Kevin down with savage fire. It was hopeless. Serra was already at the flag; they would be pushed back to the mazes. He sighed and mentally prepared himself for the next part of the assault, which would be much less pleasant than the previous one.

Serra grabbed the flag and turned around, making a mad dash towards the door and out back to her staging area. Once the flag was captured, she would be able to advance her staging area to this room, and hopefully find out where her enemy's next spawn is. Wallace fell in step behind her, trying to block any shots fired at her. She knew that only three of the enemy remained, and they were pinned down. Hopefully they would stay that way.

"BLUE TEAM HAS THE FLAG!"

Serra looked up. 'I wanna be pink.'

'Too bad.'

---

Clide and Clive cursed as Kevin got hit with a lucky shot. The looked over at the spawn point and naturally found that it was gone. It was a last ditch attempt. They would get killed in this, but maybe it might work… maybe.

The two rolled quickly from their spot, out separate directions from the table and opened fire. Their plan almost worked, but they were overwhelmed. Their opponent was back to full strength and they just could not take down all six of them without being shot. After popping off three guys between the two of them, they were hit. Their entire team was now in limbo, and they could do nothing but wait for their flag to be pushed back.

---

Serra wondered what the second part of the assault would be like as she headed towards her staging area.

"BLUE TEAM…SCORED."

'Say wah?"

She decided not to ask as she was magically transported into the partially destroyed library lobby. Raised behind the main counter where the other team's flag originally was stood their spawn point.

"Alright, anybody know what the next room is like?" Serra asked.

"It looks like a giant maze." Kent said. "Serra… can't we just give up? I mean, you already proved that you're very… fierce I suppose. If Erk was really in love with you, he'd have picked you, not Rebecca."

"No!" Serra screamed. "REBECCA IS BRAINWASHING ERKY!"

"She ISN'T." Kent said, a bit more forcefully. He pointed his rifle at Serra's head. "That man has made it clear on MULTIPLE occasions that he's hated you... WHILE he was in denial about Rebecca. In fact, most of your burn wounds from battle before were due to Erk purposely aiming for you when he had nobody else to hit! That man hated you, so how the hell do you think that killing his fiancée will help you in any way, shape or form?!"

Serra stared coldly into Kent's barrel. "Lets just finish this." Serra said. "Shoot me if you want…but that's not going to help your case."

Kent shook his head. "No, I'm not shooting you…. But I'm not going along with your silly plan."

"Then I'll just tell Jessica you failed to serve me as a vassal." Serra smirked. "You wouldn't want that happening now would you?"

Kent cursed. No he wouldn't. Jessica would probably just make him Serra's servent…permanately. Kent gritted his teeth and put his rifle down.

"I won't let you kill Rebecca though." Kent said. "Even Jessica wouldn't approve."

Serra just smiled evilly. "Oh, she'll see it my way."

Kent gulped and exchanged looks with the rest of his comrade in arms. Whatever Serra had in mind, it could not be good when it involved extorting the tacticiain. Kent and the others had to think of something and fast. As Serra drew maps of the next offensive, Kent quickly pulled Raven aside.

"She's gone insane." Kent whispered quietly. "We need to stop her… now."

"How do you propose we do that? It's not something you can just say it and be done with."

"No." Kent said. "But we could start going behind her back and work with the enemies."

Raven looked at Kent, intrigued by the proposition of betraying Serra.

"Please do tell…"

---

Wallace looked at the pink haired demon's plan. It looked like they were going to split up at unknown junctures and hope for the best, but with Serra, you never knew. He looked beside him. The boy next to him, Bartre, wasn't the brightest bulb, but he understood the twistedness of this whole ordeal. Wallace then glanced over the Kent and Raven. They were putting their heads together… maybe… just maybe. He came back from his thoughts as Serra pointed out a rather interesting decoy move.

The move involved the entire team moving up the left branches while Kent advanced up the right branches after three seemingly botched up attacks, which seemed weird because Serra seemed to know perfectly what the layout of the maze looked like, which really scared Kent. He needed to work fast, and thanked the heavens that Serra trusted in his fear of Jessica enough.

---

Matthew and Erk walked cautiously down a hallway. The maze was turning out to be a double edged blade; They ended up sending people down the hallways in pairs so one could cover the rear. The system is working well however. Serra's entire party has been wiped out, three times already. If they held long enough, maybe the demon cleric would finally give up her crazy quest.

Just then, a bolt sailed past Matthew's head, launching him out of his little daydream.

"CONTACT!" He yelled. "LOOKS LIKE THEIR ENTIRE TEAM IS ON THE RIGHT!"

From various corners of the maze, people ran towards the voice, except for Rebecca and the twins who were guarding the flag. The battle in that hallway was fierce. There were two corners so both teams had cover. A stalemate quickly occurred and both teams dug in.

Meanwhile, Rebecca saw movement to her right. She quickly swung her rifle around.

"Don't fire!" Kent yelled. "I want to talk to you!"

Rebecca lowered her rifle. Kent had his weapon over his head and both his hands were held up.

"Kent?"

"Yeah, don't fire! I have a plan to stop Serra from this insanity."

Clide and Clive weren't convinced, but then again, they didn't know the people very well. "Why are you helping her?"

"Our tactician is a woman who does not have her priorities straight."

Clide and Clive thought. "Ohh! You mean Jessica?'

"That's the one."

"Yeah, she's a douchebag." Clive said.

Rebecca and Kent laughed at the insult Clive threw at their tactician. Kent then proceeded to explain his plan. As he did, Clive and Clide transmitted the basics through a staff to Kevin, who proceeded to provide details of the plan to everyone else. The members who were required for the plan soon stepped discretely back from the assault and joined Kent at base.

Serra fired over and over again.

"WHAT THE HELL IS KENT DOING?!! DAMN IT HURRY UP!"

"BLUE TEAM HAS THE FLAG!"

"FINALLY!" Serra said. "Alright move back towards base."

Serra took a few last potshots and quickly moved back. In her excitement, she didn't notice that the rest of her team hung back and began talking to the opponent.

Serra headed back towards her staging area excited. Her decoy actually worked. She hummed as she walked; in her mind, Erk was already hers.

But as she turned the corner, the sight that awaited her was a much different story. Erk and Rebecca were locked together in a passionate kiss, their hands entwined in a way so that the giant engagement ring flashed in the lights of the library.

Steam could be seen raising out of Serra's head. She raised her rifle, leveled it at Rebecca's head…

---

Kent carried Serra's unconscious body out of the library towards the inn. The blow Jaffar placed on her head was enough to keep her out for the rest of the day, or so the assassin assured. Kent would actually be surprised if Serra didn't wake up for a week. It was a nasty brutal blow. Back in the library, everyone else was cleaning up. Serra's bag was confiscated and Oswin took all the remaining materials back to Sonia. The flux capacitors were taken by the twins and tossed into the archive vault so nobody else gets their hands on it.

Kent glanced up at the sky, notice the sun almost directly overhead. It was almost noon, meaning that their invincibility was soon wearing off. Jessica, the lords, and the Astharsa party would soon be coming back. He looked back and saw the rest of his friends leaving the library as well. It was almost lunchtime. After such a brutal battle, Kent needed some food before settling things with Jessica.

Kent shifted Serra's weight so she didn't keep him unbalanced and walked on towards the inn, hoping to get Serra settled fast so he could go get some food.

---

Kate sighed as she dragged a crying Charlie into town. She couldn't handle it anymore. "Charlie! Stop crying!"

"WHY?!" sniff… "WHY ME?!"

Everyone sighed and walked on, leaving Kate to drag Charlie back to the inn. It was going to be a long two days leading up to the dance.

---

Jessica walked back to camp after a refreshing morning walk through the wilderness of Silent Springs. After getting lost so many times with Lyn because Sain fails miserably as a scout, she's gotten good at pathfinding. She watched as Kent carried and unconscious Serra into the inn and a group of ragtag people including Erk and Rebecca step into the little medical unit attached to the inn.

"Hmm, looks like something interesting happened." Jessica said to nobody in particular. She looked over and saw Kate carrying a crying Charlie.

"Well, I guess I need to debrief them after lunch." She said again making a mental note.

The lords would be back from their little journey soon. To make sure they didn't interfere, Jessica had volunteered them to buy decorations for the winter dance. The trip shouldn't take more than half a day.

Packing up her tracking gear, Jessica headed off towards the restaurant. The next two days will prove to be very amusing. Her revenge for all the white hairs this demonic army has given her.

* * *

Charlie: Well, it took me like four days, but I finally finished. 

Erk: That ending was sucky.

Charlie: I know…but eh, I'm tired. Anyways, thanks for sticking with me. Be aware that this weekend is indeed Chinese New Years so I might not post another chapter. I'll either do it next weekend or sometime during the week next week. Either way, it won't be another like…four months.

Erk: Yeah, or else you guys get to slap him silly.

Charlie: Yeah…anyways, happy Valentines Day for those of you who have your better half. As for those of you who are like me, Happy Singles Appreciation Day! Haha, whether you're lonely like me, with friends or with your loved one, I hope you have at least a calm and peaceful night.

Erk: Yep… -goes off to find Rebecca.-

Charlie: …ditcher. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this! If you think I can improve anywhere, please review and let me know. Or just drop me a line and say hi. Love ya all and until later.


	39. Assisted Suicide

Erk: Charlie had a very very VERY bad pre-finals week. So don't antagonize him too much.

Oh and trying to tell him y'all have had bad weeks before is akin to committing suicide. The high point of Charlie's week was when he got two hours of sleep… on the couch…after passing out from exhaustion. THAT was the high point. So just… don't bug him.

I would also like to tell you that Charlie does own Fire Emblem and everything related to it.

For those of you who believed it, I suggest you go kill yourself. The human genome depends on it.

* * *

**Chapter 39**

**Assisted Suicide**

Lunch was a rather subdued affair. Hector wasn't around to make noise; Serra wasn't around to make noise; people who made noise because they were pissed at Serra didn't need to make noise. Overall, there was well, nobody making noise. Which was a rather interesting experience. Jessica decided that she liked it. Unfortunately for her, it wasn't to last.

The Winter ball wasn't exactly a great secret. Many people knew. Hector, Eliwood and Lyn's absence could be explained by the fact that Jessica volunteered them to go down the mountain to buy decorations. Everyone involved in the retrieval of the ceremonial sword of Astharsa certainly knew as they nearly gave their lives for it. Legault certainly knew. It was a however a wonder that nobody was making a great deal of fuss over it. But just maybe the fact that Rebecca and Lucius still had Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Being the target of a homicidal maniac does that to you.

But as Jessica watched the man she only knows as Glenn step into the restaurant, she knew that the silence was not to last. Glenn was thirty-four. Already his breathing was slightly labored as the obscenely high altitude began to get to him. But he still had a few years before the altitude would become a real problem and he would have to move down the mountain to remain a functional human.

Glenn walked over to where Charlie, Kiyoko, Alan, Sonia and her sisters were sitting and chatting. He gave a few stern looks to the not caring innkeeper and spoke with Sonia about a few things before stride out briskly, throwing the smirking innkeeper another exasperated look.

Sonia looked over at Charlie who shrugged and went back to his food.

"You ARE going to do your graduate thesis right?"

Charlie shrugged. "If I feel like it. Not like it'll make a difference. What's Glenn going to do? Keep me from continuing my education with him?"

The table sighed collectively as Sonia got up to do what Glenn had asked of her. She walked briskly up to where everyone in the restaurant got a good view of her and cleared her throat rather loudly.

"AHEM, if I may have your attention please?"

The room quieted down quickly.

Sonia cleared her throat again and continued. "This coming Sunday, as per tradition of this town, we will be having our annual winter ball. Now usually we rarely have one or two visitors during the winter season so it's a rather small event held in a large classroom at the school. But considering that you're all here, we will be holding a much grander event at the church. So find something nice to wear and hopefully we'll see you there on Sunday."

Sonia quickly ran back to her seat, her face flushed. Speaking in public is definitely one of her great fears. But the room pretty much stopped listening to her at the words "winter ball." It wasn't until she sat down that Sonia noticed the distinct increase in volume of the room. What once used to be a quiet subdued affair was now a rip-roaring orchestra of screams, mostly coming from girls.

Alan chuckled at the squeals, and the rather perverse look one of the paladins now had on his face. He sat back and looked over towards Charlie.

"So, you taking Kiyo again?"

The innkeeper sighed. "Do I have a choice? Dude, you gotta help me with Operation GKTWAD."

"Sure thing… although it's failed for the past decade or so, what makes you think it'll work now?"

Charlie looked out at the squealing girls of Jessica's army. "I have an idea… meet me out in the square after lunch."

Alan shrugged, wondering what the man had planned.

Lyn walked contentedly around the town square. It had been a good morning for her. Being so busy with learning to become a noble and taking care of her grandfather, Lyn didn't get much of a chance to relax and enjoy life. Her trip into town reminded her of the joy of something as mundane as shopping for winter decorations. It brought her to the simple times of her past, where she and her parents and the other members of her tribe would just spend time enjoying the simple pleasures of life.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. Lyn was brought out of her happy reminiscing by some loud footprints. She quickly whirled around. Nothing. For normal person, they would relax, their guard would lower and they would move on. But for an experienced hunter like Lyn, this was not the case. She couldn't help shake the feeling that she was being watched.

Then without warning, Lyn felt two arms warp around her from behind in a choke hold. Flailing wildly, Lyn grabbed at the arm, hoping to throw her attacker off balance for a counter attack. But before Lyn could do anything, a damp cloth was brought to her face and mouth.

'Huh?' Lyn dumbly thought.

The cloth smelled slightly funny. But before Lyn had anytime to ponder the substance on the cloth, her head began to grow dizzy. The world around her slowed to a crawl as her brain wanted nothing but to shut down and rest. Moments later, Lyn blacked out into a blissful state of drugged slumber.

A hooded figure stood over Lyn's fallen body, nodding appreciatively at the quickness of the drug. Then without wasting anytime, Lyn's body was hoisted onto a Pegasus and the figure lead the winged beast off down a hidden side path and into the residential village of Silent Springs.

---

Sonia paced nervously in the living room of Kiyoko's house. Operation GKTWAD was making her nervous, as per usual with all of Charlie's moronic schemes that seemingly everyone but her can pronounce effortlessly.

"This is a bad idea Charlie…" She said for the umpteenth time at the young man sitting one of the couches reading the newspaper.

"Oh get over it." Charlie said. "Nothing's going to happen."

"Okay, even if this year your dumb plan succeeds and we DON'T end up humiliated or thrown over the cliff… THIS is kidnapping. It is a CRIME!" Sonia waved emphatically at the three girls and one rather feminine man passed out on the floor.

"Okay, so Kiyo gives us a slap on the wrist and maybe we'll sit in her 'Do you want more pocky?' jail cell for like…two days. Yay?"

Just as Sonia was about to retort, Alan entered the residence, carrying a teal haired woman on his back. Sonia took one look at the final victim and nearly fainted herself.

"DEAR ELIMINE!" She screeched, causing every conscious person in the room to look over. "Do you have any idea what you've done Alan?"

"Uhh, knocked out Lady Lyndis?"

"YES!" Sonia cried. "She's the heir to the throne of Caelin! This is serious! Now when we get caught, we're not going to Kiyo's 'Do you want more pocky' prison! We're going to go to Ostia's 'pound me in the ass' prison!"

"You're being just a TAD over dramatic." Charlie said. He motioned for the rest of his helpers, namely Samantha and Kate to join the rest of the group at the couch. "Okay, the Clive say how long the drug should last?"

"Nope." Samantha said cheerfully. "But he did give me an antidote."

Charlie quickly smacked Sonia over the head to keep her from jabbering. He found it quite interesting. Alan would help him no matter what, Samantha would be cheerful no matter what, and Sonia would be in moral outrage no matter what. Kate usually just tags along for the laughs.

The innkeeper nodded and Samantha administered the antidote to all the unconscious women (and Lucius).

---

Lyn groaned as she regained consciousness. She looked around at the unfamiliar setting. Oddly enough, she could see Florina, Lucius, Priscilla and Fiora also groggily rubbing the sleep out of their eyes on various couches across from her position on the floor.

"Ugh...what's going on?" She asked to her comrades while slowly dragging herself to the floor.

"No idea..." Priscilla said, stretching herself out. "I was just walking along and suddenly, BAM some hooded guy pressed this weird wet cloth to me. Next thing I know, I'm waking up with a really sore back."

The others nodded, indicating that the same process was how they ended up here as well. Just as Lyn was about to get her sense back, a group of five people emerged from an adjacent room. Lyn instinctively reached for her waist where her Mani Katti would normally be strapped to only to find herself nearly toppling over from the force of her arm going through thin air.

"Calm down." A familiar male voice said. "We're not here to hurt you."

Lyn's vision was still groggy so she couldn't see who was talking. But her wit was back, and in full strength.

"Right, so you rendered us unconscious and dragged us to god knows where."

"Touche." The voice had a joking tone to it. If Lyn were anywhere but kidnapped with a bad case of a hangover, she wouldn't have minded. But at that moment, she wanted nothing but to wring the neck of the man talking to her.

"I told you this was a bad idea..." A female voice emerged from the group. Lyn smiled. At least someone was on her side.

"Speak, who are you?" Lyn asked.

The figure seemed to flinch. Lyn's vision was almost cleared now. It looked like a rather tall man. Lyn had her suspicion, but she really couldn't believe, or understand why, this man would kidnap her.

"Wait...you can't see?" The voice asked.

Lyn was surprised. Just then, Lucius gasped.

"Lord Charlie?! Lady Samantha?"

"WHAT?!" Lyn exclaimed. "Innkeeper! What is the meaning of this!"

Charlie held his hands out. "Calm down... I just needed your help, and I needed nobody to know of this... so I thought of the most covert way of getting you guys here."

"By having ninjas attack us and dragging us halfway across the town to your house?" Priscilla asked, gaining her voice...and her anger back.

"Not quite." Alan said. "I drugged all of you, and we didn't drag you back. I had to carry you guys through a side path and scale a near vertical mountain wall. Which was why we found it easier to just drug you guys."

Lyn opened her mouth to retort but then found that it would save her blood pressure to just keep silent.

"Alright..." Priscilla said after a brief silence. "Since we're here anyways, what do you need us for?"

"Well..." Charlie started. The story began. Every year during the winter ball, Kiyo would tag along with Charlie. Since he had no one else to go with, Charlie usually agreed. If he didn't...well, Kiyo would go with him anyways. He was still her "big brother." Unfortunately, ever since infancy, Kiyoko had a distinct hatred for skirts, dresses, gowns, the like. So, every year, she would go in a nice pair of pants. They were very nice pants. Everyone usually liked them because Kiyoko looked good in her pants. Unfortunately, Glenn, being the old stick in the mud that he is, found the fact that a girl was wearing pants to a ball to be morally repugnant or something. It was either that or he was just grasping at excuses to make Charlie's life miserable.

Long story short, every year, Glenn would threaten Charlie, and he would attempt to get Kiyoko to wear a dress. The attempts usually fails and Glenn just gets red in the face. However, this year, Glenn bought a nice pink gown in Charlie's size and told the young man that if his date showed up in pants again, HE would be the one wearing the gown.

"...and so, this year, I really have to make sure Kiyoko goes in a dress." Charlie said. "Glenn also made it clear that because I 'claimed' Kiyoko was pregnant a few days ago, I was morally obligated to take her to the winter ball. I swear, that man has it in for me."

Lyn blinked. Really, how hard could it be to make a girl wear a pretty dress for a big dance. Even being a Sacaen as she was, Lyn still loved to dress in pretty dresses and skirts at times for dances. She remembered seeing her mother in one of her gowns back when she was little. It was the most beautiful thing ever.

Looking around, all the other females (and Lucius) seem to be thinking the same thing. She soon voiced her thoughts on that.

The one Lyn knows as Sonia snorted. "Trust me, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get Kiyoko to wear a dress."

"Really now." Priscilla laughed. "You guys probably didn't try hard enough."

The five exchanged looks. Charlie pulled out a time line. "Lets put this in perspective now shall we?"

The girls (and Lucius) looked on in amazement as a full four year time line was unrolled. Kate stepped out and pointed at the beginning.

"Four years ago, Glenn first started threatening Charlie. Thus, us five formed to get Kiyoko over her fear of dresses. After various attempts, we manage to sneak one on her. The next morning, Sonia and I were nailed half naked to one of the light posts in the town square by our undergarments. Alan was racked and hung by his foot off the side of the inn, Samantha was shown a rated x movie cube and Charlie was racked...twice and thrown off the face of the mountain."

Kate stepped back and Samantha pointed to the second segment. "three years ago, Charlie asked us to help him again. Hoping Kiyoko matured, we agreed. She became horribly paranoid in the days leading up to the ball. When we finally showed her the dress, she went berserk. Sonia, Kate and I were tied up and thrown half naked at the lair of the mountain bandits while Charlie and Alan both got racked... twice. Charlie also got thrown off the East side of the mountain while Alan was forced to watch some... homo erotic films."

Lucius managed a cringed. The girls still stood their, jaws hanging open, not really believing what they're hearing. But from what has already happened in the five days they've been there, they could see this being true.

Alan took his turn and pointed to the third segment. "Two years past, Charlie begged on hands and knees for us to help him. By whatever power, divine spirit, and slash or medicine that drove us to this, we agreed. After chasing the girl down and forcing the dress on her, she went into hulk mode. Sonia and Kate were tied to a flagpole while Samantha was forced to watch The Spirits Within. I was stripped of everything and dragged down the mountain by my hair and thrown into a nearby bathhouse with a rather interesting reputation for sodomy while Charlie here was racked...twice and thrown off the backside of the mountain."

Florina and Priscilla instinctively took a few steps away from Alan who groaned and shuddered at the nightmares.

Sonia jabbed at the end of the time line. "Last year, Charlie paid us to help him. He paid us a LOT of money to help him. In fact, I believe I still own his spleen to this day. Regardless, we agreed. Since violence and sneaking didn't work. We tried to coax her into wearing a dress. She got so annoyed at us that the day before, she tied me, Kate, Sam and Alan together and locked us in the sauna. Charlie got racked...twice. He was tied up, his clothes were set on fire and he was thrown of the West side of the mountain, known as the Gorge of Death into the Valley of Doom. Nobody knows how he survived and Charlie claims he forgot his memory of that day."

---

Bramimond's Date: Wow...is that a REAL human spleen?

Bramimond: Yep. I took it off some poor sap who was tied up burning in the valley of death in exchange for saving his life. And get this babe, if you come back in a few months, that half a liver I took off him will be done growing too. Oh and over there's his kidney.

Bramimmond's Date: Wow... ... ... all these decapitated human organs are turning me on.

Bramimmond: Way ahead of you.

---

Lyn looked amazed. "So...if this really is true, why are you guys doing this again this year?"

Sonia grimaced; "Frankly, any amount of pain is worth it if I don't have to see Glenn attempt to manhandle Charlie into a pink dress. And for some reason, I always feel compelled the pity the fool."

Everyone present nodded.

"Plus..." Alan added. "This is the first time we had visitors during the winter ball. We figure we'd capitalize. So, whaddya say?"

The girls (and Lucius) exchanged glances and shrugged.

"I'll do it I suppose..." Lyn said.

Lucius and Florina nodded. "It's not like we have anything better to do."

"And besides..." Priscilla added. "We could get our dresses for the ball while we get Kiyo one too."

Charlie smiled. This was the year Glenn will stop bugging him during the ball... or this will be the year he goes to prison for being an accessory to the murder of four people, including the Princess of Caelin. But it was a risk he was willing to take. Pulling out some parchment and many quills, Charlie cleared a table as Alan pulled couches around it.

"It'll be another hour before the gas Serra released in the store dissipates... lets get planning."

---

"Are you sure?"

"Yes milord. They are there, completely unarmed. The military forces of that town is represented by seven people."

"Excellent. Then we shall strike during the winter ball. Get your best men together. Make no mistakes. Young Hector will have no choice but to surrender to our demands, less his reputation be tarnished by the blood of citizens of Lycia."

"And if the hostages struggle?"

"Then eliminate them. Make it clear."

"Yes milord."

Unbeknownst to the plotters, someone else heard the plan. And though that person's body wore the same uniform, his heart did not.

"No...Isadora...!"

---

Erk: ZOMG! What does this mean?!

Charlie: I LIVE!

Erk: Oh yeah, the douchebag's back. He's no longer pissed about everything that went wrong during finals week.

Charlie: -Stabs Erk in the back- Anyways, sorry about the delay. Sorry about the dual cliffhangers. I just had lotsa crap to take care of.

Anyways, excuse me for a shameless plug, but some of you know I'm from a FE forum called Merlinus Tent ( . So if you like to join us and become crazy, feel free to come. We just had everything erased because the server had too many bugs to fix manually, so it's all fresh. In any case, happy belated Easter and hope y'all have a good week. Oh and this would've been up last week, if wasn't being moronic and not letting me upload documents.


	40. This is Pocky

Charlie: Kekeke

Erk: I have nothing to say to this.

Charlie: Kekeke.

Erk: Disclaimed.

Charlie: Kekeke.

Erk: STOP THAT!

Charlie: Kekeke.

---

**Chapter 40**

**For Pocky!**

_When the girl was born, she was tested, like all children of Silent Springs. Those too weak or too disfigured were buried on the side of the mountain, dead after one winter's harshness. When the girl turned six, her parents were taken from her and she was plunged into the real world. Manufactured by the history of mankind shaped by the theory of natural selection to ensure the survival of the fittest. The girl is starved, beaten by the weather, and forced to steal… or most likely, mooch off of others._

_When the girl was ready, she was cast out into the wild. No supplies, no shelter, she must make her way at the military academy and find her way back to her people. Hunger buffets the girl as she circles the pantry. The box is anxious, in anticipation of being emptied of its contents…_

_And so the girl, given up for a soldier, returns to her people, to Silent Springs, a teenager._

"Uhm, that's very nice Charlie…" Lyn cut in. "But it doesn't explain why she has an intense hatred for dresses."

The group was on their way to the store when one of the girls (or it could've been Lucius) raised the eternal question. Why did Kiyoko fear dresses? Charlie decided to start from the beginning, and when he said beginning, he MEANT the beginning.

"Don't rush me!" The innkeeper said. "As I was saying…"

Sonia sighed. "A old lady at the dress store at the Military Academy we trained at took away Kiyoko's pocky. Said something about how a little girl needs to watch her figure if she is to wear pretty dresses."

The girls (and Lucius) glared at Charlie.

"Okay, fine, if you want the BORING version."

Before anyone could retort, the town postal runner approached Charlie.

"We have a Etrurian Messenger to see the leader of this nation." Eremus said.

"…Wouldn't that be Lord Hector and not me?"

"Well, no, he meant the snacking leader. I thought you should take care of this."

Charlie looked confused. "I'm not the snacking leader, I think he wants Kiyo, she's the mistress of Glico. Are they from Nabisco?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, they definitely want Kiyo, where is she?"

"Getting half of the visitors addicted to Pocky."

"WHAT?!"

---

Kiyo smiled happily as she watched a group of Lord Hector's army munch happily on pocky. It was a peaceful time, just honest Lycians enjoying the greatest snack in existence. Alas, the peace was not to last. For soon, her friend and brother figure entered the building.

"Kiyo." Charlie said solemnly. "Etrurian messengers."

Kiyoko furrowed her brow. This could mean trouble. She gathered her daggers and followed Charlie outside. There, a group consisting of a few girls and Lucius stood looking at five Etrurians.

"Before you speak Etrurian." Kiyo started. "Know that in Lycia, everyone, even a King's messenger, is responsible for the words of his voice." She looked towards Lyn who nodded her approval. "Now… what message do you bring?"

The lead messenger took a look around and raised his hands. "Flour and water."

Kiyo laughed. "You rode all the way from Etruria for flour and water?"

Charlie chuckled. "Do not be coy or stupid Etrurian. You can afford neither here."

The messenger looks affronted. "What makes this… bartender think he can speak among moral humans?"

"Because only Lycian bartenders serve real snacks."

The tension mounted. Kiyoko, sensing that the life of this messenger may end before the message is delivered, quickly stepped in. "Here in Lycia, a man is not judged by his vocation."

The messenger gives one last glare to Charlie before turning towards Kiyoko. "All the God-King Nabisco requires is this: a simple offering of flour and water. A token of Glico's submission to the will of Nabisco."

Kiyoko laughs again. "Submission… well you see, that's a bit of a problem. See rumor has it that even Kellogg and Post have already turned you down. And if these… animal lovers and cavemen have that kind of nerve… well we Lycins have our reputation to consider."

The messenger narrows his eyes as he and his men tighten their ranks. "Choose your next words carefully Kiyoko, for they may be your last as an independent stock holder…"

Kiyo has had enough. With Charlie on one side and Alan on another, she draws her daggers on the lead messenger, with her friends following in her example. Her eyes narrow to dangerous slits as she glared upon the Etrurian messenger.

"MADMAN!" The messenger cries as he and his companions are circled in, backing towards the railing of the front cliff of the mountain. "YOU'RE A MADMAN!"

"Flour and water… you find plenty of those at the base of the mountain…assuming you land in the village." Kiyoko said, pressing forward with her daggers.

The messengers are now backed against the railing. The lead man once again looked to the girl, this time his eyes betraying his fear. "No one, Etrurian or Lycian, Glico or Nabisco, threatens a messenger!"

Kiyoko pressed her dagger into the skin of the man's neck. "You bring the boxes and packages of conquered snack empires into the steps of my city. You insult my brother. You threaten my people with empty calories and bad flavor! Oh I've chosen my words carefully Etrurian. Perhaps you should do the same."

"THIS IS BLASPHEMY! THIS IS MADNESS!"

"Madness?" Kiyo looked back towards Charlie, who nodded. She then refocused her gaze on the messenger. "THIS. IS. POCKY!"

With a mighty kick to the groin, the Etrurian plummeted off the cliff, his compatriots soon following. Only they were not so lucky. They… were stabbed.

Charlie looked over to his adopted little sister. He put a hand on her shoulder as she turned around. Kiyoko looked at Charlie and nodded before brushing past him, past everyone. It was not over. It was just the beginning.

---

"…NO!" Charlie yelled as Lucius showed him a leather skirt and top that left… well, nothing to the imagination. Normally, Charlie might have enjoyed such an outfit on a girl, but when it was his SISTER, his anal retentive side flares up like no other. Lucius sadly put the outfit away. Along with the other ones that Charlie claimed showed too much cleavage, too much stomach, too much legs, too much… err…wrist he supposed.

Lyn sighed. "I have a feeling your over-protectiveness drove her to hate dresses."

"Not really, she hated dresses before I learned how to be anal retentive." Charlie shrugged as he looked through another section.

"How exactly do you LEARN how to be anal retentive?" Priscilla asked as she showed Charlie another very conservative dress. The innkeeper looked at it and nodded. "Maybe to the dress, and you obviously haven't been in one of Glenn's classes to your question."

"He's not that bad is he?" Lyn asked as she took the dress from Priscilla and put it into a small pitiful pile of dresses Charlie had approved.

Sonia chuckled. "Glenn actually takes a ruler and measures Charlie's grids on math problems. Eventually, you get sick of it and start mocking him. Charlie took mocking to an extreme and well, it became part of his nature." She looked at the dresses and sighed, pulling out a very pretty dress, but a tad revealing. "And Charlie, shut up before I slap you. She hates dresses as it is, if you make her wear those monstrosities, she'll kill you this time."

Charlie sighed. "Fineeeeeeee"

"…how do you do that?" Alan asked. Sonia just shrugged as she placed all the rejected dresses onto their respective racks. "I have that kind of power over men."

Charlie coughed a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Witch." Sonia decided to ignore this as the group headed towards the inn to strategize. As the stepped from the store, they saw an interesting sight. Kiyoko was in her light armor and inspecting a company of ten men of which included Lord Eliwood and Lord Hector. Charlie had a sneaky suspicious what this was about.

"Kiyoko." Charlie said sternly. "What is this? Don't be doing anything rash."

Kiyoko smiled. "Don't worry. I'm just going for a stroll. These are uhh… my personal taste testers."

Lyn nearly fell over as she choked in her laughter. "Hector… taste tester… now that a true profession for the big oaf."

Hector growled indiscernibly, but he stayed faithfully in rank. Charlie grumbled as he looked at the group. Along with Lord Hector and Lord Eliwood, Matthew, Marcus, Oswin, Legault, Lowen, Sain, Farina and even Dorcas had joined the ranks of this madness. Charlie sighed and hung his head. Even as her legal guardian, there was nothing he could do to stop this if the men willingly followed her.

"Oy what can I do?" Charlie groaned in exasperation.

"Yes…what CAN you do?" Kiyo taunted. She smiled and faced her troops. "Lycians, we march!"

With that, Charlie watched as his little sister stormed off to fight the impending wave of corporate takeovers. He sighed, the new development gave him a chance to plot in secret, but it might force him to go out and hunt his sister down before things got out of hand.

"Aye… nothing we can do." He turned to his posse. "Lets go… if she's not done by the time we're done planning, we'll go after her."

Everyone nodded and followed the disturbed innkeeper in.

---

It was a short march to the base of the mountain. The Elibe Gates were still a bit away, but no more than a few hours march. As they group ascended the mountain, they met with another group, approaching them from the south.

"Hello old friend!" Kiyoko called out to the leader.

"Ahh, Kiyoko I'm disappointed. So few snackers against Nabisco?" The man looked at the mere ten men Kiyoko brought. "I guess I couldn't expect Lycia to be more serious in this affair."

Kiyoko chuckled. "You there, Arcadian, what is your profession?"

The man addressed looked taken back. "Err, a potter ma'am."

Kiyoko pointed out another man. "And you?"

"A sculptor."

"You?"

"Blacksmith ma'am."

Kiyoko chuckled, then turned and called, "LYCIANS! WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?!"

"HAROOH! HAROOH! HAROOH!"

Kiyoko smirked and turned back to the Arcadian leader. "See old friend, I brought more snackers than you did."

---

_And so they marched and soon they reached their destination. At the Elibe Gates, Kiyoko spared no time in arming her troops. Each man carried with him a pack of pocky and a bottle of ramune. It was then that they were approached by the Nabisco representative._

Kiyoko looked up at the plump man riding the carriage. The man was not imposing by any means, but had surrounded himself with armed sellouts. He spoke with pompousness unmatched by any Kiyoko have ever heard, except perhaps her revered Ancestors, Clide and Clive. But they spoke in jest. This man believed his words.

"I am the representative to the ruler of the world's snacking industry, god of baking, king of pastries, and by that authority I demand someone show me your commander!" The man roared from his throne.

The Lycians took no notice of the fat man and continued working. Matthew did spare the man a glance but quickly looked down for fear of laughing out loud.

The representative looked pissed. He glared down at the Lycians, rebuilding a ruined wall, which blocked a side path into Lycia. "Do you think the paltry dozen you slew scare us? These hills swarm with our labels! And do you think your pathetic wall will do anything other than fall like a pile of leaves against-"

The man stopped short as he saw what the Lycians used to rebuild their walls. For a fleeting second, fear shone brightly from the man's eyes. Lowen walked up to the man and looked down at him leisurely.

"Our ancestors built this wall, using ancient stones from the queries of Roland himself. And with a little Lycian help, your triscuits supplied the mortar."

The representative sneered at Lowen with an expression of utmost hate. Lowen, deciding that he didn't like the man's look, swung decisively at the man's chest, knocking his nametag from his suit.

"MY EMPLOYEE ID!"

"It is not yours anymore." Lowen said, smiling, but leveling a stick at the man's throat all the same. "Go now, run along and tell your Nabisco that he faces proud bakers here, not sellouts."

The representative glared scathingly at Lowen. "No, not sellouts. Your women will be sellouts. Your sons, your daughters, your elders will be sellouts. But not you." The man turned to address the Lycians as a whole. "By noon today, you will all be dead men! A thousand products of the Nabisco Corporation descend upon you! Our snacks will cover your dinner tables!"

Lowen grinned evilly as he leapt away from the twitching man. "Then we shall dine on the ground."

---

Charlie sighed, the conversation was going nowhere. No matter what they thought of, they could not escape the fact that Kiyoko was now in a battle for her life over pocky, the very thing she loves…. and the very source of her hatred for dresses.

Slumping back into the couch on which he was seated, Charlie covered his face with his hands, sighing deeply.

"I kind of want to just injure Glenn badly enough so that he can't make me wear that monstrosity that he actually bought."

The group groaned. They've been talking for a few hours and had gotten nowhere. Now it was also nearing sundown and Charlie feared for Kiyoko as well.

Suddenly, Florina cleared her throat lightly. "Umm…"

Charlie glanced over. "You say something?"

Florina blushed and clung to Lyn, who glared furiously at Charlie. The innkeeper ignored the glare and glanced at Florina. "I won't bite. If you have something to say, speak it clearly. We're all friends, nobody's going to eat you because of your words Florina."

"Well, when I was little, I was shy about showing my legs." Florina said quietly. "And I would wear a skirt over a pair of pants. Maybe…if…"

Charlie leaped from his position, looked at Florina and pulled the squirming girl into a bone crushing hug. "Oh…my…God… YOU ARE A GENIUS!"

Florina was having trouble breathing, out of fear and out of being squeezed too tightly. She nodded clumsily and turned a ghostly white until Lyn plied the innkeeper off the terrified girl.

---

Kiyoko looked across the field at the opponents. Ritz crackers. Not bad, but not good enough. She looked at her group, each man holding a shield of choice and a box of pocky.

"THIS IS WHERE WE HOLD THEM! THIS IS WHERE WE FIGHT! THIS IS WHERE THEY SNACK!" Kiyoko yelled as the Nabisco salesmen prepared their charge.

"EARN THE POCKY BOYS!" Hector yelled out. "AND YOU LADIES TOO!" He quickly added as Farina gave him a nudge in the side.

"Remember this day people for it will be yours for all time!"

Across the field, the Etrurian in charge of the sales division stared at the laughable force facing his hordes. He decided to show them some mercy.

"LYCIANS! LAY DOWN YOUR SNACKS!"

Kiyoko drew her pocky. "ETRURIANS! COME AND GET THEM!"

---

Dinner was a quiet affair. Fae was informed by Charlie to reduce the amount of food to be served. At first, Lulu had no clue why, but when she saw the number of people missing, she understood why. Charlie and her sister had taken their group out in search of Kiyoko, who was off somewhere fighting an Etrurian Corporate takeover.

Still, the remaining people had no idea of what was going on. To them, life was as usual, and it should. In two days, it would be the Winter Ball, and with the number of people attending this year, it would sure to be the biggest party this side of the mountain.

But Lulu could shake the uneasy feeling gripping her heart. She hoped it would be nothing but her being paranoid. She prayed…that it would be nothing but that.

---

_Seeing his men fall one by one, Nabisco grew desperate. He sent his most deadly warriors. They have served the dark will of corporations for five hundred years. Cookies as black as night, center filled with cream. Double Stuffed. The favorite cookie of all Elibe. Oreos. She put their name to the test._

_And the Oreos, they failed our girl's test, and a baker who fancies himself a god feels a very human chill emanate from his oven._

_He sent his hundred calorie packs at her. Light packets. They lacked energy, and the crumbs were prickly. The packets fell._

_When his packets failed, he resorted to sandwiches. Ritz bits. One by one they fell and our girl allowed herself to believe, to hope that she would win._

---

At sunfall, the Arcadian leader approached Kiyoko with frantic news. "We are lost! The Etrurians have our addresses. We shall be sent advertisements from all sides!"

Kiyoko smiled. "LYCIANS! PREPARE FOR GLORY!"

"Glory?" The Arcadian gasped. "There is no glory to be had here! Only retreat, and corporate steamrolling."

"Well that's an EASY choice for a Lycian." Kiyoko said, glaring at the Arcadian.

The soldier looked back at the girl, wondering what madness overtook her. "My men will leave with me. May Elimine protect you."

Kiyoko gathered her troops as the Arcadian left. "Children! Gather around!" Everyone looked up to her, absorbed by her commanding figure, flickering in the campfire. "No retreat, no surrender. That is Glico policy. And BY Glico policy, we will stand and FIGHT and snack."

Everyone looked down, aware of her words. She looked around, and continued. "A new flavor is upon us… a flavor… of FREEDOM. And all will know that ten Lycians gave their last BREATH to defend it!"

"HAROOH!"

Kiyoko stared out at the hordes coming from the Nabisco factory. "Ready your dinner and eat hearty men, for AT MIDNIGHT WE SNACK IN HELL!"

---

Charlie arrived at the Elibe gates two hours after sunset. It was a horrible sight to behold. All eleven Lycians lay in the grass. All around them, the Nabisco weapons of terror lay, the ones that did not hit their mark. It was all he and his friends could do to keep from weeping at the sorry sight.

---

_And so, my sister fell, and my patrons fell. And long I pondered Kiyoko's cryptic thoughts of victory, but time has proven her wise. For from proud snacker, to proud snacker, the word was spread that bold Kiyoko and her ten, so far from home, laid down not just for Pocky, but for ALL Glico, and the promise that the company holds. Now here on this rugged patch of earth called Silent Springs, Nabisco's hordes face OBLITHERATION! Just there, the barbarians huddle, sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers, knowing full well what merciless snacks they tasted at the boxes and packs of 10, yet they stare now across the lane at 40 fr-_

Kiyoko slapped her brother. "Stuff it Charlie."

The innkeeper looked sheepish and cut his dramatic accent. The two, with Lord Hector's army standing rather menacingly (and this time armed with real swords) behind them. The representatives had arrived moments after Charlie pried Kiyoko and her suicidal posse away from the oreo cookies and brought them back to town. Many of the soldiers don't know why they're armed against corporate salesmen and lawyers, but it was funny to see the look of sheer terror on these people's faces.

"I said again, I'm not selling pocky to you guys." Kiyoko said. "I'm sorry."

"Please, reconsider, Nabisco is being very-"

Charlie held up his hand. "The girl has said her peace. Pocky to her, represents more than just a product to be manipulated and sold for money. To her, it's the very essence of her soul. A bond Nabisco has lost with his baked goods."

Kiyoko nodded. "So no matter what you do, I won't see you the recipe. Because even if Glico goes out of business, I'll still have the bond with my pocky, and that's all that I need."

The men from Nabisco nodded grimly then turned and left, hoping their leader would understand the girls words. As the men left, Charlie smiled at Kiyoko.

"I'm proud of you." He said. "You stood up for something you believe in."

Kiyoko merely smiled as she watched the men walk away. She happily reached into her pocket for a pack of pocky and munched away happily.

As everything slowly went back to normal in Silent Springs and the members of Hector's army disarmed themselves, with the ball just two days away, the threat of Nergal now seems a distant memory.

But Jessica knew better than to dwell on fantasies. As soon as every last person of her troop gave up their arms, she quickly sought out the usual gang. When life gives you lemons, or in this case a dance, you make lemonade.

Or in her case, total, absolute chaos.

---

Charlie: Yeah… yeah…

Erk: …That movie…corrupted you.

Charlie: No it hasn't.

Erk: Sigh… well, here's the madness that he's been working on for a few days. Hope you guys enjoyed it. The madness.

Charlie: Madness? THIS IS SPAR-

Erk: Oh stuff it. Oh, and Glico is the company that makes pocky. Yeah.


	41. Dinner Impossible

Charlie: ...-ahem- ... FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Erk: Summer, excuse the Braveheart reference. Mel Gibson, that was the best line in that movie.

Charlie: Yes, with or without drunken tirades, Braveheart was a good, entertaining movie. I know it's historically inaccurate. I know it's Mel Gibson (Oh my God). But it's a good movie. I mean COME ON! Guys in kilts mooning the English! What more could you ask for?

Erk: You're getting off topic.

Charlie: Am I?

Erk: Yes, you are NOT doing a Braveheart parody. I'm not letting you. At least not yet.

Charlie: Aww... you suck as a muse you realize that.

Erk: Yeah yeah, I keep you out of trouble and make you not piss off the world. Oh dear me, how thoughtless of me.

Charlie: Exactly!

Erk: Anyways, disclaimed. Most of you should know Charlie doesn't own much. If you think otherwise... please, remove yourself from the gene pool.

Charlie: Pie! Giant Pie!

Erk: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

* * *

**Chapter 40.5**

Jessica descended the stairs at midnight. It was time for her daily midnight plotting with her gang of evildoers. So her overactive imagination dictates these days. As she reached the lobby, she was curious to find only four people present at the meeting. Two of the three Silent Springs sisters along with Canas and Dorcas. Curious as to where everyone was, Jessica made for the small pow wow and let her confusion be known.

Canas looked up and shrugged. "Pent and Louise tried to stay up, but they're just too tired to contribute."

Jessica nodded. She had been rather absent from day five's activities, so she wasn't tired, but she had forgotten how much crap had actually happened during the day. She looked at the Silent Springs natives. Only Lulu and Fae had shown up.

"I assume the same?"

Fae nodded. "Charlie said he might come later if he didn't fall asleep. I think he fell asleep."

Jessica shrugged. "Oh well, guess we'll have to work with what we got. It's been six days since we've been here and everyone's relaxed a bit. But I still don't know what kind of teamwork they'll display. So anyone have any ideas on getting them to work together?"

Lulu and Fae exchanged glances. Fae looked up shyly. "Well... I have to cook the banquet for the ball on the day after tomorrow. Since there'll be more people this year, I'm hoping a little help would be nice?"

Jessica looked up. "Cooking eh? I'm sure I could spare a few people."

Fae looked absolutely giddy while her sister looked apprehensive. Jessica decided to ignore that. She turned to Canas and Dorcas. "Who can we use?"

"Well, Priscilla, Lyn, Florina and Lucius are helping the innkeeper with something. The ten guys who charged down the mountain with that girl to fight the Etrurians are pretty much out of commission, though I think you can get Lowen to help since he likes cooking, and everyone else is pretty much free."

Jessica nodded. "Okay, I'll get some people for you."

* * *

**Chapter 41**

**Dinner Impossible**

Good morning Chef Fae Lucia Shirong. Every year the denizens and guests residing in the mountain town of Silent Springs gather for an annual party celebrating the Winter Solstice and the coming of the new year. This year, not only will the people of Silent Springs be attending, but also Lord Eliwood of Pherae, Lord Hector of Ostia and Lady Lyndis of Caelin, along with their entourage. Your mission is to plan, buy and cook a full course banquet for all the guests totaling up to about eighty people. A makeshift crew will be assembled for you for this mission.

Good luck and God speed.

This message will now self destruct.

Fae nonchalantly chucked the message out the window. The message destructed in mid air, sending a enormous shock wave into the surroundings. Fae stretched and got out of bed. After freshening up, she donned her whites and strode briskly from the house. After she left, Lulu and Sonia poked their head out of the storm bunker. Hurricane Fae had left the building. They could now go on with their morning routine in relative safety.

---

Rebecca trudged sleepily towards the restaurant. It was still pretty early. Jessica had dragged her and four other unfortunate souls up at this god forsaken hour to go help the shy restaurant chef prepare the banquet for tomorrow. It was good and all, but Rebecca just didn't see the point in getting prepared so early. A meal couldn't be that hard to make.

But Jessica's wishes were Jessica's wishes, and frankly, Rebecca was terrified of that woman. So at the ungodly hour of eight in the morning, Rebecca found herself walking into the restaurant finding Lowen, Merlinus, Oswin and Nino standing in there just as sleepy as she is.

A young man came up to them.

"Hi, I'm Kramer." He said holding out his hand. "Fae's gonna be here any moment. I have some coffee made in the kitchen if you guys want to wake up."

The man seemed nice Rebecca thought as she went into the kitchen for some coffee. It was also amazing how happy he can sound this early in the morning. The small group chatted happily as they drank their coffee. Nobody heard the front door slam.

"Kramer! What did I say about too much coffee in them morning?"

The young man immediately gathered up the coffee cups and apologized profusely in the general direction of the voice. Rebecca turned around and found herself double taking at the sight of Fae striding in confidently in her chef's whites.

Fae walked into the kitchen and glared at the pitiful, sleepy people Jessica sent over. But it was all that she had to work with.

"Alright dunderheads, listen up! We have less than thirty six hours to prepare a full course banquet for around eighty people. So what are we standing around for?! I WANT TO SEE IDEAS FOR A FULL COURSE MEAL NOW!!! LETS MOVE!!!"

Everyone snapped to attention as Fae dropped paper and pens in front of each person.

"I want meals out of all of you in ten minutes. MOVE IT!"

As Rebecca worked on her plan, she wondered what the heck happened to the quiet shy girl who blushed at every complement and didn't understand half of Hector's vocabulary.

Judging by the bewildered looks on her comrade's faces, she suspected they wondered the same thing.

---

"Is that Charlie actually doing homework?"

The innkeeper sighed as he put down his pen. He looked up to see Sonia, Alan, the girls and Lucius gathered waiting for him. He quickly put out the breakfast buffet and then joined his group for a little early morning plotting.

"Is Kiyo still sleeping?" Alan asked as Charlie joined the group. The innkeeper nodded. "Yeah, especially with her little adventure yesterday, she'll be out cold for the rest of the morning.

"Good, so what's our plan?" Alan asked. Charlie shrugged. "I don't know, I was hoping we'd figure that one out today. Either that or we could still poison Glenn?"

"No." Sonia said firmly. "If you want our help, we're gonna do this legitimately."

"Fine..." Charlie grumbled. He turned towards Lyn and the girls (and Lucius). "So, any ideas? Keep in mind that every conventional and obvious method we've tried and that got us hurt, badly."

"Erm... well..." Lyn stumbled. "Have you tried bribing her?"

"Yeah." Alan said. "Didn't work, and we still had to buy her fourteen tons of pocky."

"How about asking her nicely?" Priscilla offered.

"Please tell me you're kidding..." Charlie said. "PLEASE tell me that you are kidding."

"Begging?"

"Nope."

"Stealing all her other clothes?"

"She'd come naked."

"Telling her that if she didn't wear the dress, a monster would eat her?"

"She'd kill the monster."

"Grounding her?"

"She'd arrest us. Remember, she's also the law around here, which kinda scares me."

"Why don't you make Glenn force her to wear a dress."

"The last time Glenn helped me I ended up being assigned an essay on it."

"I got it!" Florina spoke up. Everyone turned around and looked at the shy girl, who immediately blushed. "Uhm, at least I think I do..."

"Well, lets hear it." Charlie said as the group huddled.

---

Kiyoko yawned. It was still relatively early in the morning, and the previous day had be tiring. But, she was hungry, and she was also cold. She stretched and got up to go through her usual morning routine, which involved brushing, flossing, washing and annoying Charlie.

However, when she went to the living room where Charlie was supposed to be sleeping, Kiyo found herself looking at an empty couch. Shrugging, Kiyo headed for the kitchen. Charlie sometimes got up early to work the inn, and since there were people there this time, it wasn't that strange.

But when Kiyo got to the kitchen, the first signs of trouble appeared. As she opened the pantry, Kiyo noticed something peculiar. Her pocky was missing. Taking a few deep breaths to keep herself from having a panic attack, the young girl racked her mind for possible explanations of the missing pocky. After a few minutes, Kiyoko managed to convince herself that she ate all the pocky during a midnight snack run. Since she does that often, it didn't seem to strange to her anymore. So wrapping a scarf and a thick coat around her, she set off towards town, hoping to find Charlie and most of all, his snack stash.

It was just another normal morning. Most of the guests were relaxing. Kate was actually working and keeping the hot springs open. All in all, nothing weird was happening. But that was before Kiyoko entered the inn. The lobby was serving brunch. Normal considering Fae was opening Hell's Kitchen today to cook for the banquet. Charlie wasn't serving drinks, but he never does at 10 AM in the morning. Kiyoko went behind the bar anyways and started going through Charlie's snack stash. Once again, her pocky was noticeably missing. The man packed unsalted pretzel sticks but not pocky? Now Kiyoko was weirded out.

But there was still one more place. Charlie didn't restock until he opened the bar so that accounted for the lack of pocky in the bar. But there can be no reason why it wouldn't be in his pocky shed. It was the prize vault of pocky. The mecca of all snackers. Twenty cubic feet of pure, undiluted pocky.

She headed behind the inn to the unmarked wooden building and picked the lock.

---

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU  
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Alan looked up. "She found it?"

From the roof of the inn, Charlie looked over towards the shed. "Yeah, she found it."

The group was gathered on the roof. They had taken all the pocky in the town and hidden it in Florina's room. Now, they were going to use it to blackmail Kiyoko into wearing the dress. But to some members of the team...

"Guys, we are going to get hurt...really badly." Sonia said.

"Oh come on." Alan said taking a look over the edge. "Nabisco tried to take buy out pocky and she didn't kill them. What's the worse that's going to happen to us?"

"I don't know." Charlie said, fidgiting with his coat. "But I really think this is a bad idea."

"You know, we're technically doing this for you." Lyn said. "Don't tell me you're getting cold feet now."

"I know." Charlie said. "But I'm just saying, this is a ba-"

Before the man could finish, a dagger flew past him, missing his head by mere inches before embedding itself into the roof. The group turned around and saw Kiyoko; her eyes were glowing demonically as she drew another dagger and snarled.

"Uhm..." Alan said as everyone closed ranks. Florina and Priscilla hid behind everyone else. "I think she's not happy."

"What...did you heartless monsters...do...to my pocky?!!!!!!!!" Kiyoko screeched as she threw another dagger. Charlie quickly drew his sword and swatted the dagger into the ground before it reached the group. "Now now Kiyo...calm down..."

"CALM DOWN?!!! MY POCKY IS GONE AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!!"

"Eep!" Florina squeaked. "I think this was a bad idea."

"Ya think?!" Sonia said as she strung an arrow. "Come on, we gotta get out of here. Where did you guys put the pocky?"

"Some is in my room." Lyn said. "But Heath's still resting. The rest is in the restaurant."

Sonia blanched. "...Oh...lovely."

"What? Why?" Priscilla asked. "Fae's a nice girl. We figure she wouldn't mind."

Before Sonia could retort, Kiyoko had charged the group. Charlie quickly intercepted the raging girl, waving his arms for everyone to get off the roof. Not being masters of hand to hand combat, Alan, Sonia, Lucius and Priscilla quickly bailed. Lyn and Florina stayed back. Charlie had armed them earlier just in case Kiyoko went berserk. The three now took turns fighting the outraged girl as they slowly inched towards the escape point. One there, Charlie took a pack of pocky and flung it as far as he could in the opposite direction. Kiyoko immediately broke off engagement and chased the packet of sweets as it plummeted off the roof on the opposite side of the building. With the danger passed, the three quickly escaped the roof.

The group reconvened near the restaurant. Kiyoko was not to be satisfied by just one packet, and everyone knew that. Sure enough, Kiyoko soon rounded a corner and glared at them once again, demanding her sweet treat.

"Kiyo...calm down. Remember where we are." Charlie pleaded.

"You... you TOOK my pocky! YOU MONSTER!"

"We're just thinking about your health!" Sonia cried. "All that sugar isn't good for you."

The young girl just growled as she drew her daggers, her eyes once again glowing a demonic red.

"Kiyoko!" Lyn yelled. "We'll give you your pocky. Just promise us you'll wear a dress tomorrow."

In response, she tossed a dagger at Lyn's head. The Sacaen had to dive to the ground to avoid the projectile as it screamed over her and embedded itself into the wooden side of the restaurant.

"Okay, this was a bad idea." Alan said. "So what now?"

"We let Fae stop her." Sonia said.

"Fae might KILL us as well."

"That's a chance I'm willing to take." Sonia quickly threw open the door and gestured everyone to run in. Across the street, Kiyoko hesitated for a moment. Then her nose picked up the scent of pocky. Forgetting where she was, Kiyo blindly charged, not caring for her own health and wellbeing.

---

Rebecca panted as she sliced carrots like her life depended on it. Around her, her comrades were doing the same KP duties with equal zeal. Fae was somewhere in the kitchen barking out orders. It's been nearly two hours and Rebecca was ready to pass out from exhaustion. Just then, the doors of the kitchen burst open and a swarm of people moved in, followed closely by a screeching ball of black hair that Rebecca recognized as one of the residents named Kiyoko. She wondered what was going, but one look at Fae's murderous eyes, she quickly went back to her duties.

Kiyoko glared at her cornered prey. She was to have her pocky, and if she had to torture it out of these poor people, then so be it. Just before she charged, a firm hand grabbed her by the back of her cloak. In a instant, Kiyoko found herself flying across the room into a wall on the other side of the room. Coming to her senses, she looked up and saw Fae steaming at her and the people who took her pocky. Kiyoko quickly sheathed her daggers.

"WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?! THIS IS A KITCHEN NOT A CIRCUS!!!" Fae screeched. "WHY ARE WE TREATING THIS PLACE LIKE A CIRCUS?!"

Everyone was silent. Fae looked around. "I assume there's a REASON you are disturbing my kitchen?!"

"Well..." Charlie said. "We sorta hid Kiyoko's pocky in here and-"

"WRONG ANSWER!" Fae said as she flung a knife at the innkeeper. This time, he wasn't fast enough to dodge it. The room gasped as the knife sank into his chest. The man gave a few desperate gasps before collapsing to the floor. Everyone was really pacified now.

"You there." Fae pointed at Lowen. "Get that filth out of here." She turned back to the intruders. "As for the rest of you, there are whites in the next room, get into those and get back here and start peeling potatoes!"

"Yes chef!" Alan and Sonia quickly replied. The two quickly ushered their group and Kiyoko into the next room where the whites were.

"Aren't..you going to do something?!" Lyn asked hysterically once they were out of the room. "She just KILLED someone."

"And Charlie's one lucky bastard." Alan said. "I'm more worried about us."

"What? All we're doing is KP." Priscilla said. "That man's dead."

"Two things." Sonia said. "First of all, Charlie's died before. He pissed off Death so much that Death literally kicked him back into the realm of the living."

"Secondly." Kiyoko finally said. "Fae's scary..."

The girls (and Lucius) at first didn't know what they meant. But after seeing the different Fae, they were tempted to agree. When they entered the kitchen again and saw Fae's demonic grin, they knew that Charlie lucked out.

"Well, Ladies and Gentlemen." Fae said grinning madly. "Welcome to Hell's Kitchen."

Lyn's face fell. They were all going to die. Slowly...and painfully.

* * *

Charlie: Meh... I don't like this chapter as much, but eh, it killed some time. Yes, Food Network and Hell's Kitchen references. If you get both the shows I referred to here, then kudos to you.

Erk: Damn, I'm glad you left me out.

Charlie: That could be fixed.

Erk: ...No thanks

Charlie: Anyways, so I killed myself off, ne, I need one more scene with Death. Think Family Guy. Kay, thanks for being patient with me guys. I'll try to have the next chapter up ASAP.


	42. Not for the Feint of Heart

Charlie: I'm starting this fic with Kiyo sitting on my bed looking at me with those big... innocent eyes of hers that are oh so deceiving.

And for all you sick minded fellows... I implore you to get help.

Anyways, this is gonna lead up to the crazy finale of the first half of Fourteen Days. Prepare for parodies and anachronisms galore.

Another note, I got Halo 3, that excuses why it took so long to edit this thing. Halo... Three. Yeah, go figure.

Anyways, disclaimed, whatever the fuck that means.

* * *

**Chapter 42****  
Not for the Feint of Heart**

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! JUST TASTE THAT!! WOULD YOU EAT THAT?!!! NO? THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SERVING IT?!!! GET BACK TO WORK!"

It's been over a year since Rebecca met Oswin, and never once has she seen him reduced to the verge of tears. It took them all morning, even with the extra help to come up with a menu to satisfy the chef. By now, Alan and Sonia had managed to give Fae the slip along with Lowen, who had given the lucky task of dragging the innkeeper's body out of the kitchen. A slick trail of blood still remained on the floor, but nobody has had time to clean it up.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF..."

Rebecca cringed. She forgot to taste test her chicken. Fae's yelling really didn't help her nerves. She could only watch in horror as Fae grabbed her plate and flung it into the wall, shattering the expensive china into a hundred pieces.

"DO IT AGAIN! AND THIS TIME, DON'T FORGET THE FUCKING SALT! GOD!"

Rebecca turned back, wondering when the nightmare will end. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Lucius sobbing silently to himself. Hell's Kitchen was an understatement.

* * *

Lowen tried in vain to control his hyperventilating. Fae had just kill someone in cold blood, and oddly, neither Alan nor Sonia were that worried about it. The three stood over Charlie's body which Sonia asked Lowen to just dump unceremoniously in a snowy field behind the inn. Correction, Lowen stood over the body. Sonia and Alan were in recliners reading the paper.

"How could you two be so calm? We need to tell someone."

Alan sighed. "For the last time kid, stop worrying."

"He's DEAD!" Lowen said gesturing wildly.

"We know that." Sonia said. "This is the fifth time he's been 'dead.' We don't get our hopes up anymore."

Lowen stared back blankly. "He's... died before?"

"Weird shit happens around here." Alan said. He gestured to the third recliner he had pulled out. "Now take a seat, and just calm down... or would you rather go back and face Hurricane Fae?"

Lowen gulped. He forced himself into the seat, but try as he might, he couldn't remain calm. He just hoped that Sonia and Alan were right.

* * *

Charlie blinked. Five minutes ago, he was in the kitchen chasing down Kiyoko and now, he was here. That is, wherever here is. He blinked his eyes. The morning winter sun temporarily blinding him. He felt light, warm, odd for a December in Silent Springs. Stretching his legs, Charlie looked around, and nearly puked when he saw his body lying on the ground, staining the snow red with a stab wound to the chest.

"...what...the..." He mumbled to himself.

"You're dead."

Charlie turned towards the voice. "Oh, it's you."

Death was leaning against his scythe and writing something down on a clipboard. He had his grim reaper robes that covered his head ominously, though from the tired body movements, Charlie could tell Death would rather be anywhere but here.

"So, am I dead?"

"Fortunately, no." Death said. "You're having a near death experience."

"Lovely." Charlie said. "So what? I get to hang out with you?"

"Yep, until you get a revelation or I get sick and tired of you and use satanic powers to force you back into your body, whichever comes first."

"Why don't you just do that in the first place?"

"Hey, you have any idea how much the setup for a satanic ritual costs? I ain't made of money you know." Death finished writing and stood up straight, letting his scythe hang off his arm. "Well, lets go explore your past shall we?"

"I'd rather not." Charlie said.

Death swung his scythe around and cleaved a hole in the space time continuum. "Too bad. You don't have a choice."

* * *

Lowen was the first to notice the strange purplish hole that magically appeared in the air. He pointed at it and made all kinds of odd sounds. Alan and Sonia glanced at the hole and went back to reading their morning paper, as if holes in the space time continuum were normal occurrences.

"What is it?" Lowen finally managed to string together.

"A hole in the space time continuum." Sonia said. "Death's taking Charlie to the past."

"Why?"

Alan shrugged. "Dunno, don't care. Just chill okay? Go do something else."

"I can't. Jessica told me to help Fae. If she saw me elsewhere, she'd kill me."

"Then just calm down and read something." Sonia said. "Go through the continuum, tour the past of Silent Springs or something. Just stop being a spaz."

Lowen looked at the ominous hole. His common sense screamed at him that this was a bad idea, but a part of him was curious. Plus Alan and Sonia seemed to think he would be fine. Taking a deep breath, Lowen silenced the doubts within him and jumped.

* * *

"THIS CHICKEN IS FUCKING RAW! WHO DID THIS?! WHOSE FUCKING CHICKEN IS THIS?!"

Lucius shakily stepped forward.

"LOOK AT THIS! IT'S FUCKING RAW!!! JUST LOOK AT IT!"

Lucius poked his chicken.

"DO YOU SEE IT?! IT'S RAW! YOU'LL KILL SOMEBODY WITH THIS! DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO THE WORLD WHY THE YOUNGER BROTHER OF THE MARQUESS OF OSTIA SUDDENLY DIED?! DO YOU?!"

Lucius shook his head. "It won't happen again chef."

"IT BETTER NOT! GOD!"

Fae moved on to the next dish. "What is this? Who's is this?"

Rebecca raised her hand. "It's mine chef."

Fae poked Rebecca's dish. "What is it?"

"It's a stuffed chicken piccata with a spinach cream sauce chef."

"At least it's fucking cooked properly." Fae said. She took a bite. "The chicken's rubbery. Ugh... the sauce is runny. There's no flavor here. My God, did you season this?"

"Yes chef."

"With what?"

"Just a little salt and pepper."

"A little is right." Fae said taking another bite. "There's nothing there. Taste this."

Rebecca went over and took a bite of her dish. It was indeed a bit under seasoned.

Fae sent her back. "What did I tell you guys about fucking tasting your own food? God is that so HARD to understand?"

"Yes chef."

"Back to work." Fae said, taking all the food and dumping it into the garbage. "Bloody hell, awful. Christ." Fae looked hopelessly at a calender on the wall. Tomorrow was the banquet and frankly, nobody in her kitchen can cook.

* * *

"Okay, we've seriously have done this way too many times." Charlie said as he watched his three year old self poke the infant Kiyoko. "What really is the point?"

"Hey, I don't make the rules." Death said. "The big guy says you need to do this, and I have to help you. So deal with it. If it were up to me, I'd just blink you out of existence."

Charlie watched as Sonia and Lulu walk up and whisper something into his ear, which caused his younger alter ego to jump away from the baby as if she were the devil reincarnate.

"Okay... Sonia and Lulu were douchebags. Can we go home now?"

"You can't do that. That was your revelation two years ago."

"Oh right." Charlie said. "Kiyo looks like a... whatever babies look like?"

"That's not a revelation and..." Death looked up. Charlie furrowed his brow and tried to follow Death's line of sight, kinda hard considering Death's head is completely covered.

"Hmm... someone followed us." Death said. "Look."

Charlie looked at the point where Death was pointing. There, in the distance, a tiny figure was falling from the sky, flailing like mad. Soon, Charlie could hear the screams.

"Looks like one of Jessica's." Charlie said. "Think he's the one who dragged me out."

"Looks like he got curious." Death said. He took out his clipboard and began writing again, occasionally looking at his watch and marking down the time.

"Aren't you gonna break his fall?" Charlie asked.

Death shrugged. "He's in an alternate dimension. He'll be fine."

Moments later, Lowen struck the ground heavily, oddly, not creating any sort of marking in the snow.

"Welcome to the past Lowen." Death said.

Lowen got up and nearly pissed his pants at the sight of Death.

"Don't worry, nobody's dead." Death said. "We're exploring Charlie's past. This is the day before thE Winter Ball when he was three."

"I-I-I see..."

"Yes Stutter McStutterpants." Death said. "Now, just a few ground rules. You're technically a spirit, so nobody can see you. Nothing's affected by you nor can anything affect you. So just stay to the side and watch. Don't wander off either. And if you see a possible revelation for this douchebag, point it out so we can go home."

Lowen nodded. Three feet from him, three year old Charlie threw a snowball into Kiyoko's stroller.

* * *

The menu was more or less decided. Three appetizers, three first courses, three main courses and two kinds of desserts. The professional staff from down the mountain would come in the next afternoon to finish up the cooking, but right now, Fae and her incompetent staff had to deal with prep work.

And it really didn't help that Lucius and Florina were still crying, Kiyoko seemed to be looking for something in the kitchen, and Lyn was in moral outrage at everything she did. The only person who shows the slightest bit of promise would be that green haired girl, Rebecca, but she had a tendency to not taste any of her food.

Of all the dishes, Fae was most worried about the chicken dish. If the chicken wasn't cooked properly, people could die. She needed to cull out those who couldn't cook as soon as possible.

"Everyone, drop what you're doing and get over here."

The entire kitchen took about five seconds to react. Fae shook her head. How the hell did these people survive in combat?

"Alright..." Fae said. "As you know, dinner for tomorrow night must be absolutely perfect. Which means I can't have anybody getting food poisoning or dying because of your incompetence."

"Which makes me wonder..." Lyn said sarcastically. "Why are you forcing us to stay here in the first place?"

"Well..." Fae said. "Even incompetent chefs have their uses. For the next two hours, you'll be in a competition. You are to prepare, cook, plate and serve the Chicken Florentine. If your dish is satisfactory, you will work with me to prepare tomorrow's meal. If your dish is... less than satisfactory...then well... lets just say you don't want your dish to be less than satisfactory. I guarantee you the job I have for you will not be pleasant. The recipe is posted on the back wall over there. Your time begins... now."

Fae flipped her hourglass and stood back as the masses began scrambling for ingredients, cutting boards and the like. Already, a few of the morons got the wrong parts of the chicken for the dish. Fae sighed. It was going to be a long two days.

* * *

"Okay, so I'm five." Charlie said as Death and Lowen laughed at the young boy hiding under his bed after Sonia and Lulu told him a story about the chupawhachamacallit coming to his house in the middle of the night and eating his brain. "And Sonia and Lulu were diabolical... which makes me think Fae's adopted."

"Well..." Death said.

"I don't want to know." Charlie interrupted quickly. "Can we go back already? This is getting boring."

"Not until you have a revelation." Death said. "Hey, I'm not having fun here either. I gotta babysit you UNTIL you get your stupid revelation."

"Sigh... hey, isn't that you over there?" Charlie pointed to a cloaked figure lurking out the window.

"Hmm..." Death twirled his scythe and the three of them were outside, next to the cloaked figure. "Yeah, that is me."

"Nice afro." Charlie commented. Lowen snorted as he tried to keep down his laugh

"Yeah yeah, it was in style back then." Death said. "Wonder what I'm doing here."

"Isn't this the night Kiyo's parents die?"

"Oh right." Death said. "The loud one's parents. Man, if you thought Fae was an anomaly... Kiyo's nothing like her parents."

"I know." Charlie said. "I sorta remember them. But, that doesn't make sense, you're going into their house. I thought they died in a freak avalanche while getting medicine for their daughter."

"Nah." Death said. "That's what they tell you kids."

"Do I want to know?"

"It's cleaner than you think. Glenn's just a conservative old coot who thinks a broken leg is too intense for a kid to know."

"Then enlighten me."

"Well, Mrs. Lee is an insanely je-"

"Okay, I don't want to know." Charlie interrupted. "Kiyo had a dysfunctional family. Can we go now?"

"That's not a revelation." Death said. "First, it's not about you, second, it's not true."

"Didn't you just..."

"I was pulling your leg." Death said. "A meteor struck their house, making the roof collapse on them. That metal framed crib saved your friend's life."

"Glenn couldn't tell me THAT?"

"Hey, to him, meteors are a sign from God that the Lee's were sinners."

"Are they?"

"Nah, God uses something much more cooler." Death said. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to bind you forever to Kiyoko."

"Don't you mean kill me?"

"I would, but you'd actually want that. Binding you in eternity to that siren... well, now THAT'S a punishment."

"I'm used to it." Charlie said. "Hey Lowen, think about something in your childhood."

Lowen blinked. "Eh? Sure I guess."

* * *

"DEAR ELIMINE IN HEAVEN!" Fae yelled as she hastily pulled out a fimbulvetr tome and blasted chucks of ice into the blazing grease fire Lucius and Oswin managed to set. The heat however was too intense and the ice melted and steamed before it could do much to the flames. Most of the equipment was designed to survive high heat, but Fae had never set a fire of this magnitude. Not to mention the building was made of wood.

Luckily, Kramer was a fast runner. Ten minutes after the blaze started, Clide and Clive rushed into the building and quickly put out the fire using a white gas of some sort.

"Awesome, this thing works!" Clide said.

"What is it?" Fae asked as she and the rest of her team tried to assess the damage.

"Well, since it worked... we'll call it..."

"A fire extinguisher."

"Wait." Lyn said. "You two made something to specifically put out fires?"

"Yep." The twins said. "It's quite amazing really. Just a matter of chemistry and thermodynamics."

"I have no idea what those are." Fae said. "But thanks, now if you'll excuse me..."

Clide and Clive bowed and teleported out of the room. Fae put on her glaring eyes and trained them on Oswin and Lucius, who cowered in fear.

"Alright you two... guess who gets to peel five tons of potatoes and onions until your fingers fall off?"

The two men gulped. Lyn's eyes flared. "That's not fair. They didn't do it on purpose."

"And your chicken is bland." Fae said. "You can go fucking join them."

"WHAT?"

"I didn't stutter." Fae said. "Kramer will take you to the storage room. I want every root in that room washed, peeled and sliced. Get moving."

Kramer took a disgruntled Lyn and two shaken men out of the room. Fae sighed. That left her with Florina, Kiyoko and Rebecca. She could sorta work with them. Unfortunately, Kiyoko was currently distracted.

"MY POCKY!" Kiyo cried as she pulled out a huge box of the treat.

"Later Kiyo." Fae growled. "We got lots to do."

"But... pocky." Kiyo said as she hauled out boxes of the treat. Fae scowled and cast a quick elfire, incinerating all traces of the treat.

"And don't make me do this to that warehouse of pocky you have out back." She said, glaring. Kiyoko, now reduced to near tears, nodded slowly as she moved to huddle in fear with Florina. Rebecca gulped. Jessica was a kind lady compared to Fae on this day.

* * *

Lowen smiled as he watched the younger version of him spar with Marcus. His squire days, back before the wars and corruption. He had vowed then to protect the Pherae Royal Family with his life. Marcus had chuckled and approved of his bravery but warned him for being brash. Those were the days.

"So this is what the palace looks like." Charlie said. "Awesome, is there a bar in here?"

"Alcohol was strictly forbidden for us." Lowen said. "Though some of the more careless squires occasionally sneaked it in anyways."

"I see." Charlie said. "I guess it's different in a castle. For us peasants, most of the water is poisonous. Fermenting got rid of most of the poisons in the water."

"Really? Is that why you all drink alcohol?"

"Yeah." Charlie said. "It got better recently because Fae developed a way to filter melted snow water, but even then, most people don't trust it. We still just drink mead or wine if we get a good shipment of grapes. It tastes better anyways."

"Guess life is different outside the castle." Lowen said. "I served in Pherae Castle ever since I was a young lad, so I know nothing of the hardships outside I'm afraid."

"That's life." Charlie said. "Some of us are just born better than others. But birth doesn't make a person better than another, it just makes a person better connected."

"And that's your revelation." Death said. "Still, I can't take you back yet. We managed to go through three dimentions when we entered his flashback."

"Lovely." Charlie said. "By the way, how does Lowen get back?"

"He just does." Death said. "Unlike you, he just walks through the dimensional gate, you have to walk through the dimensional gate and then go into your body in a horribly painful process."

"Beautiful..." Charlie grumbled. "I forgot that the last part is the worst."

"Anyways, while I'm preparing the spell, any other time you'd like to visit?"

"I have an idea..." Charlie said with an evil smirk.

* * *

Lyn couldn't feel her hands anymore. Her eyes stun from the onions, and quite frankly, if Kramer utters one more encouraging "phrase" she's going to gouge his eyes out with a sharp ice pick. Actually, doing it to Fae wouldn't hurt her spirits either, but at the moment, Fae scared her.

Lyn had no idea how a girl could go from a shy, sweet and relatively soft spoken schoolgirl into the chef from hell in one day, but apparently, according to the locals she spoke to, Fae's always like this before the ball. Then again, Fae was now more like her sisters, evil and cunning. Lyn had seen Lulu be outright evil, especially to the innkeeper and the priest, her favorite targets. Sonia was more subtle than Lulu, but just as evil.

Now Lyn was convinced that Fae is indeed their younger sister, possibly the most evil of all. As Lyn peeled her potato, imagining it to be Fae's face, or perhaps even Charlie's face considering helping him with his crazy plan got her into this mess, she wondered if it was even possible for the four of them to peel all these roots.

Looking over at Oswin, who probably had done enough KP back in Ostia to turning peeling into an art, Lyn was slightly placated. Unfortunately, she also saw Lucius... cut himself for the fifth time with the knife. They've been at it for over three hours and he had barely three dozen potatoes peeled that weren't missing covered in blood. It was gonna be a long day.

* * *

Now that the worst of the worst were gone, Fae went on to teach her current group the essence of mass preparing meals. Florina and Kiyoko were working slowly on all the chilled dishes while she and Rebecca worked on marinating the meats. The actual cooking would be done by the professional sous chefs that Glenn hired. Fae requested him to hire the chefs for two days, but Glenn, being the retarded blue blooded non-cooking male that he is didn't think cooking would take more than an afternoon, so he only hired the staff for an afternoon, forcing Fae to improvise on the prep.

"Florina." Fae called. "How's the fruit salad coming?"

"We're out of peaches." Florina called back softly.

Fae froze. "WHAT? How the fuck did we run out of peaches?"

"I...I don't know." Florina said. "We just don't have enough to make the number of servings you wanted."

Fae fumed. "KRAMER!!!!!!!!!!"

Moments later, her assistant ran in.

"We're out of peaches."

"What?" Kramer said incredulously. "How?"

"I don't know." Fae said. "I need... how much are we missing?"

"At least five dozen more." Kiyo said. "Maybe even more."

"I need eight dozen peaches peeled and ready in thirty minutes. Get your people on it now."

Kramer nodded and hustled out while Fae sighed and wiped her brow. Unfortunately, her troubles weren't over yet.

"The marinade for the beef is frozen." Rebecca announced. "Rock solid."

"Oh for the love of..." Fae said slapping her forehead. "Get it defrosted as fast as you can."

"I'm trying." Rebecca said. "And we don't have enough salmon. Whoever got the fish decided to get half salmon, half cod."

"You're fucking kidding me." Fae said.

"Nope." Rebecca said. "This white fish is definitely cod. We could do a cod dish, but we'll need a different marinade. Not to mention we're low on pots, pans and just about everything we need to cook."

Fae growled. "Do what you can to defrost everything else first. I'll deal with the fish."

Rebecca nodded and began running water over the bags of frozen sauce. Fae went to the window and looked out. It's already late afternoon and they have barely anything done. She just hoped Charlie would get back from his near death experience soon. Never in her life did Fae imagine that she would actually need to count on a guy who's in a different dimension.

Fae sighed. "Karma sucks."

* * *

"Oh my god." Lowen said as he watched Fae bitch at Charlie and her sisters. "This was two years ago?"

"Yep." Charlie said. "And watch this."

Lowen watched as the sixteen year old Fae stabbed her eldest sister's hand. "Oh my."

"Yep, Hurricane Fae. That's what we call her."

"It's times like this when she resembles her sisters." Death said. "And their mother."

"Oh gods..." Charlie said. "Don't remind me."

"What's wrong with their mother?"

"She's absolutely batshit." Charlie said. "She was the headmistress of the school until she was fired five years ago. Fucking bitch was crazy."

"Define crazy." Lowen said.

"I came to school late one day because of an avalanche, had to stay after school and shovel the entire playground of snow."

"Wow. The playground can't be that big can it?"

"I was six."

"HOLY." Lowen gasped.

"Yeah." Death said. "That broad is crazy. She almost killed those mage twins."

"Huh?" Charlie blinked. "Mage twins?"

"Louisa and Max?"

"OH." Charlie said. "They aren't really twins."

"Whatever." Death said. "Caught them eating in class so she made the eat all the old leftovers in the cafeteria. Nearly killed them. I think that was what caused her to get fired."

"I remember that. Max and Louisa didn't show up to school for two months. They took them down the mountain right?"

"Yeah." Death said. "Sonia, Lulu and Fae were outraged at their mother. Fortunately, the boarder patrol was in town otherwise the kids would've died."

"Wow." Lowen said. He watched as Fae throw a plate of unsatisfactory food into the wall and curse loud enough to make a pirate blush. "Was their mother abusive to them?"

"On the contrary." Charlie said. "Her husband died when Fae was only three. She doted on her daughters. Turned nepotism into an art form. Poor Dias. As kids, I remember seeing Dias give a bouquet of flowers to Sonia for the first time. The guy got detention for the rest of his life."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Charlie said. "Or until she got fired."

"And I thought my drill sergeants were bad." Lowen said. "Marcus would scold me from time to time."

"Your drill sergeants have nothing on her." Charlie said. "Besides, Marcus seems like a nice guy."

"He is." Lowen said. "He's my mentor."

"He's a tad old to be traveling as much as he is though." Charlie said. "He needs to watch his health and his nutrition. I've seen him look very tired even during the day."

Lowen nodded.

"Oh boys." Death said. "Ready to go back?"

Charlie nodded. "Yeah. Lowen?"

Lowen looked at Fae again. "Yeah, lets get out of here."

* * *

"Welcome back Charlie, Kid." Sonia said without putting down his paper.

"You guys could've not put me in the snow you know." Charlie said, shivering.

"Eh." Sonia shrugged. "Hurricane Fae's really pissed though. Apparently, her stuff is still frozen."

"Lovely." Charlie said. "Come on Lowen, lets go save her ass."

"Eh?"

"Didn't you say you know how to cook?"

"Well yeah bu..."

"Well, lets get going."

"You took your fucking time getting back." Fae said.

"That's what you get for stabbing me." Charlie said grumbling. He looked at the kitchen. "What the hell happened here?"

"Couple of retards set the kitchen on fire."

"And said retards are..."

"Peeling roots."

"Figures." Charlie said. "Alright, here's Lowen, I'm sure he'll be able to help you."

Fae looked at Lowen. "Well? Give me something to do with cod."

Lowen gulped as Rebecca gave him an encouraging nod. "Well, I'd poach it in oil and lemon juice. Then serve it with a nice pilaf of rice with mushrooms."

"Why mushrooms?"

"I see a pile of mushrooms over there." Lowen said pointing.

Fae nodded. "First good idea I've heard all day. Bloody good job."

She turned her attention to Rebecca. "Work with him on the fish. Charlie, defrost that sauce will you."

Charlie pulled out a vial of clear liquid. "Already on it."

Fae smiled, for once, it seems that all was going to go well.

* * *

Rath was reading when Oswin collapse into their room late. The General smelled strongly of onions.

"How was your assignment?"

Oswin just groaned. "Bad. I'm going to go take a shower."

"Please." Rath said. He went back to his reading.

* * *

"Lyn?" Heath asked as princess trudged tiredly into their room. "Are you okay?"

"I peeled more potatoes than I've ever seen in my life." Lyn said. "I can't feel my fingers and I smell."

Heath wrapped his arms around her. Moments later, Lyn was sound asleep. The Wyvern Lord placed her onto her bed and started to prepare for bed himself.

* * *

"You are evil you know that right?" Charlie said to Jessica. It was an hour from midnight, almost nobody was up.

"I know." Jessica said. Kiyo sat next to her chewing on some pocky and sniffing silently. "What's wrong with her?"

"Fae incinerated her pocky." Charlie said simply. "That was evil."

Fae shrugged. Sonia and Lulu sat next to her, unusually quiet.

"Tomorrow's the ball." Charlie said. "Can we not torture your men for one day?"

"Hey." Jessica said. "When life gives you lemons..."

Charlie sighed. "Lovely, I feel sorry for your men."

Louise and Pent chuckled from their spot on a couch. Dorcas and Canas were engaged in a discussion on classical music. The three sisters were sitting together rather awkwardly and Jessica and Kiyo were on their own couch facing the Mage General.

Charlie looked around at the group. They redefined dysfunctional.

"Kate and Brian can't come." He said. "I trust you don't need them."

Jessica shook her head. "Nope, and as soon as it hits midnight, General Pent will tell you all about my plan."

Charlie sighed hopelessly. "As long as it doesn't involve me, I'm fine."

"Don't worry." Jessica said. "You won't have to do a thing."

* * *

Charlie: Wow, that took a while.

Erk: You are a lazy bastard.

Charlie: I'm also chocking and bleeding from my throat. Stupid fires.

Erk: That's California for you.

Charlie: Whatever, sorry for the wait. I'll have the next chapter up by Wedensday, and that's a promise (I have a midterm on Monday.)


	43. Torment to the nth Degree

Charlie: Yeah, I got sick, stupid sinus infection. On the other hand, I am hopped up on drugs.

Erk: That should make me scared.

Charlie: There's nothing to be scared of... right Guy?

Guy: MMFGH!!!

Erk: He's gagged... and bound... chained... hand cuffed... and good Lord man, what did you do to him?

Charlie: Nothing.

---

**Chapter 43**  
**Torment to the nth Degree**

Charlie stretched out and yawned as the early morning sun hit him in the face. He was on the couch, as usual, Kiyo having stolen the bed. Charlie had come to the conclusion that the girl steals his bed because it's bigger and more comfortable than the one at her house. His second theory is that her house doesn't have any food so she'd rather sleep closer to breakfast.

It was still early, but Charlie was used to waking early. He learned from experience that not having breakfast ready for Kiyo when she woke was a painful and loud ordeal. Slowly, almost painfully, Charlie got up, and nearly fell on the ground at the sight of Glenn glaring at him from the opposite couch.

"Holy shit, how the hell did you get here?" Charlie nearly screamed once he got his heartbeat back under control.

"Trade secret." Glenn said. "More importantly, where the hell is your essay?"

"Don't tell me you actually expected me to do it." Charlie said.

Glenn sighed. "No, but since you seem to be not doing your assignments, you must have a lot of free time, so guess what, you get to do the seating arrangement for tonight's dinner party."

"Err, I'd rather not. I promised Kiyo I'd take her down the mountain today." Charlie said.

"Let me put it this way." Glenn said, tossing a pile of papers onto the coffee table. "Either you do the seating arrangements OR I'll do them and you will NOT like where you sit."

"You wouldn't"

"Really? I wouldn't?"

Charlie sighed. "Alright, you would. Fine I'll do the damn seating arrangements."

Glenn smiled. "I'm glad you see it my way."

He got up to leave. "By the way, Charlie, those need to be done by four."

Charlie waved him off. The moment the door closed, the young innkeeper let out a loud groan. He looked out the window at the rising sun. Kiyo was not going to like the fact that he was stuck indoors, doing this today. Setting the papers down, Charlie got up and went to the pantry. If he was going to tell Kiyo bad news, he wanted to do it while she was stuffing her face with pocky.

---

Aminec was surprised to see another figure at the stables. Usually, she was the only one up this early to feed the pegasi, but apparently, one of the guests missed her mount. Aminec couldn't say she was surprised; she herself had trouble leaving Lucas alone for a long period of time, especially when she thought of how much it cost her to buy Lucas from that breeder.

"Good morning miss." Aminec greeted as she approached the stabled. A girl with shoulder length blue hair looked back at her and nodded. The girl was petting a white mount and feeding it carrots. Nothing unusual.

"I fed my sister's Pegasi too, so you don't need to worry about them." Farina said as the other girl came up.

Aminec blinked. "All right. I notice you feed the carrots."

"Yes, I do." Farina said, narrowing her eyes. "Something wrong with that?"

"Nah." Aminec said. "I suppose Pegasi can eat carrots. Don't know how your mounts survived combat though."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, carrots just don't have the nutrients that Pegasi need. Now oats, that's a meal for a Pegasus."

Farina fumed. "Now listen here missy, I've been a Pegasus Knight for years now, and let me tell you, carrots are the only food for a good pure bred Pegasus. Your little mongrel may need oats, but Murphy here eats only carrots."

Aminec poured a bucket of oats into Lucas' feeding bag. "Call Lucas what you will, he could beat your precious 'purebred' into a bloody pulp in seconds."

"Yeah, what's your mongrel going to do? Sit on Murphy. That might work considering how FAT it is."

"Oh you did NOT just go there." Aminec threw her bucket down. "Lucas is so fit it makes your windbag look like a Wyvern. Hell, I'll bet your windbag of a Pegasus is so malnourished it can't even out fly a Wyvern."

"Yeah yeah, I'm sure your Pegasus will win. I don't think anything could fly near yours considering how much gas it passes."

"Hey, don't mistake YOUR gas for Lucas'."

"Oh haha, very funny. Don't quit your day job. After all, there must be someway you're paying for all the food your fat winged horse is eating."

"At least my winged horse looks like a horse. Your winged horse looks like an old man with a digestive problem. Oh wait, I'm sorry, that's YOU."

"That's it." Farina balled her hands into fists. "You want to fight? You got a fight."

Aminec smirked. "Bring it on missy."

---

"Chawee, is someone fighting by the stables?"

Charlie chuckled. Little kids and their imaginations.

"No Kiyo, Aminec's the only one who goes to the stables and..." Charlie finally actually looked towards the stables. "And holy hell there are two people fighting there."

"Can we go watch?"

Charlie gaped at Kiyo. "You're technically law enforcement in this town, shouldn't you break up that fight."

"Nope, it's still too early. I'm off duty."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Great, rob a bank before eight AM and you're off the hook in this town. Come on, lets go break them up."

"I dun wanna."

"You can make them take you down the mountain to get Crisis Core."

"I thought you were gonna take me."

"I can't Glenn decided to be a jerk."

Charlie and Kiyo quickly ran over to the stables where both Aminec and Farina were throwing rather useless punches at each other. The innkeeper quickly jumped into the fray in an ill advised attempt at stopping the brawl. He was lucky to escape with only three punches to the gut and two to the face.

"Alright, I can't stop that." Charlie said panting. "Kiyo, do something."

"I don't feel like it."

"Do something and I'll give you pocky."

Immediately, Kiyoko's eyes lit up. Drawing her daggers, she lightly stepped over to the fighting girls, and gave both of them a hard whack to the back of the head. Within seconds, both Aminec and Farina were out cold.

"Pocky please!"

Charlie handed over a packet and walked over to the unconscious girls. He packed some snow into his cap, waited a few minutes for the snow to melt and then promptly dumped the cold water onto the girls, waking them instantly. After they got up, he quickly put himself between them with his sword drawn to prevent another fight from breaking out.

"Alright, what the hell's going on here?"

"She started it." Farina said. "She insulted my Pegasus."

"I insulted your carrots. You called Lucas fat."

"You guys were trying to kill each other because of carrots?!"

"It's a very important subject." Farina said huffing. "Besides what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm not." Charlie said. He pointed to Kiyoko. "She needs someone to take her down the mountain to Toccoa."

"Well, you do it." Aminec said. "I have to help Glenn set up the damn decorations."

"Yeah, and I have to help you do the blasted seating." Charlie said.

"So I guess that leaves..."

Both Aminec and Charlie glanced up evilly at Farina who gulped and backed slowly into the stable wall.

"Okay fine." Farina said, cornered. "I'll do it."

A flash of color later and Kiyo was clinging to Farina happily. Charlie and Aminec smiled, waved and walked away, really really fast. Farina sighed and looked down at the little girl currently cutting off circulation to many of her major organs. She was going to need help.

"Girl...get...off...can't...breathe...need...air..."

But whether the girl didn't hear her, decided to ignore her, or was just plain dumb, Farina had very little luck in getting Kiyo to let go. Miraculously, Farina manage to trudge over to Murphy. Upon seeing the Pegasus, Kiyo immediately forgot about Farina and latched herself onto the unfortunate Pegasus. Farina made a mental note to buy Murphy more carrots as she led her mount out of the stables, with ninety-six pounds of pure hyperactivity clinging onto his neck.

---

"What's this? Is Charlie actually doing work?"

Charlie lifted his head from the messy seating chart to see Kate and Brian walk into the inn with Pent and Louise. Needless to say, the couple had filled the two in on their rather evil plan.

"It's the stupid seating chart Glenn's making me do." Charlie grumbled. "I take it Mr. and Mrs. Devious told you about their plans tonight?"

"You know, it's odd, the actual parts of the plan in itself are very childish and rather bland and over done." Brian noted. "But put it together and it's devious to the nth degree."

"Thank you very much." Louise said smiling.

Pent put an arm around his wife proudly. "Louise thought up of most of it."

"Never thought she had it in her." Charlie grumbled. "Who else is up?"

"I saw Guy and Matthew running around earlier." Pent said. "Something about Matthew going to far on the favors."

"I don't want to know." Charlie said holding up his arms. "I gotta get back to this. Oh, and just a word of advise, stay indoors for now."

"Why?"

"Less you know, the better."

---

"No." Guy said firmly. "I don't care if you saved my life, I'm not going to be your girlfriend's personal slave tonight."

"She's not my girlfriend." Matthew grumbled. "And you owe me favors."

"Yeah, favors." Guy said. "THIS is not a favor. THIS is cruel and unusual punishment. If I remember correctly, your girlfriend, err I'm sorry, that crazy priestess girl was previously possessed and tried to show some people a holocube of The Spirits Within. I am NOT going within a ten yard radius of her."

"Come on man. We exorcised her." Matthew said.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better about this?" Guy asked incredulously. "Because it's not and is that Farina with her Pegasus?"

"Don't change the subject." Matthew growled.

"No really." Guy said pointing. "Isn't that Farina with her Pegasus?"

Matthew squinted. "Well I'll be darned. Wonder where she's going... and why is Kiyoko attached to the neck of her Pegasus."

They jogged over to the Pegasus Knight who looked rather murderous. Her demeanor however, changed quickly when she saw Matthew and Guy walked over.

"Matthew! Guy! How are my favorite guys in the army?"

"Uhh..." Matthew said. "You don't like us. In fact, on several occasions you've made it clear that you rather hate us."

"Did I say that? I didn't mean it."

"You stabbed me with your lance through the shoulder once." Guy said.

"Oh, but that was before. All water under the bridge now right? I'm sure we can all be best buddies."

"Okay..." Matthew said getting away from Farina's embrace. "What do you want?"

"Matthew!" Farina said in mock indignation. "I'm insulted you'd think I want to be friends just because I want something."

"Seriously Farina, what do you want?" Matthew said. "Or else I'm leaving."

"Alright fine." Farina said pointing a thumb at the young girl who managed to fall asleep clinging to the neck of a disgruntled Pegasus. "Charlie's busy with the party so he asked me to baby sit her for the day. She wants to go down the mountain to get Crisis Core or something like that for her holographic game system."

"Ahh, kids these days and their hologram games." Matthew said.

"Yeah, and your girlfriend tried to kill people with her holographic projector." Guy said. "She's sleeping, how hard can it be?"

Farina glared at Guy. "Trust me, when she's awake, she quite the handful."

"I'm sure she's harmless." Guy said. He walked up to the sleeping Kiyo and poked her gently. Immediately, Kiyoko woke up and jumped. Guy never knew what hit him. When he got up, he felt an extra weight on his back and a tight constriction around his chest.

"Ahh...can't...breathe..."

Farina and Matthew exchanged glances. "Told you."

---

"Alright..." Guy panted. "I... really... can't...breathe..."

"Suck it up you pussy." Matthew said as Guy promptly collapsed to the ground. Farina rolled her eyes and nudged a rather terrified Murphy towards the lump on the ground that was Guy and Kiyoko. After figuring out her ride collapsed, Kiyoko's head immediately went up looking for her next victim. Unfortunately for Murphy, Farina had lured him close enough with a carrot and soon, she was clinging to him again.

"You know, you're very mean to your pegasus." Matthew said.

"Oh shut up." Farina grumbled.

The trio had managed to trudge their way down the mountain, or more precisely, Guy had managed to trudge his way down the mountain with Kiyoko clinging to his back. The others strolled leisurely along. It was only until they got to the entrance of the town of Currahee that Guy finally collapsed. He was now being supported by Matthew as the group made their way into town.

"So, this is Currahee?" Farina said looking around. "Nice place."

"Didn't we pass through here on our way up the mountain a week ago?" Matthew asked.

"I don't think so." Farina said. "We're on the Northern Path into the mountain. We came from the South so I think we went through Toccoa."

"Lovely." Guy said, wheezing. "Can we skip the geography lesson and get to where we want to go?"

"Right." Farina said. She prodded Kiyo who reluctantly let go of Murphy. Farina stabled her poor Pegasus and turned to the little girl. "So, Kiyo, where do we go to get your game?"

Kiyoko shrugged. "I dunno. Charlie usually takes me."

"And...?"

"And he knows where it is. I just sleep while he piggy backs me." Kiyo finished smiling innocently.

"..."

For once in her life, Farina was rendered speechless. Guy gaped at Kiyoko disbelievingly and Matthew struggled to keep himself from wringing the girl's neck. They were in an unfamiliar town with a bundle of energy who had no idea where she needed to go.

"Okay, so how do we figure out where we need to be?" Farina asked.

"Well, she obviously doesn't know... and the only person who does is..." Matthew looked up the mountain.

Farina followed his gaze and slapped her forehead. Guy just groaned. "Oh you have GOT to be kidding me."

"We could always ask around." Matthew said. "Kiyo, do you know the store name? Or even what kind of store it is?"

"Nope."

"Lovely." Farina said. "I'm going to kill Charlie for this."

---

"Okay." Matthew said. "We've been wandering this city for a few hours. I'm getting tired."

"YOU'RE GETTING TIRED?!" Farina wheezed. She was carrying Kiyoko and about five pounds of pocky on her back. "You try lugging her around. She has no sense of how hard she's actually gripping you."

"Eh, I've been there done that." Matthew said shrugging. "More importantly, there seems to be nobody in town who knows where the store for holographic games is."

"Looks like we're down to our last option." Farina said, passing Kiyoko off to a rather unwilling Guy. She looked at the snow capped peaks looming over the village.

Matthew sighed. "Lovely. Well, do we carry her back up to?"

Guy shook his head. "I ain't doing it."

"And Murphy's half dead." Farina said. "Looks like two of us have to foot it back up. Guy, you keep an eye on her."

"How in the hell do I do that?" Guy said.

"Easy." Matthew said. "Keep her in one place and make sure she doesn't run out of Pocky. We'll be back soon."

"Yeah right." Guy grumbled. It's already nearing noon. With any luck, the two might feel like getting him and the devil incarnate sometime past sundown.

Guy sighed as he watched Matthew and Farina walk out of the town. He looked down at Kiyoko who was happily munching on her pocky. She had a few boxes left. Guy decided to head over to the bakery to buy some more.

He reached into his pocket to see how much money he had. Unfortunately, he pulled out an empty gold sack. Guy looked down in horror at the rapidly dwindling supply of pocky he had in hand for Kiyo. Dropping to his knees, Guy began to pray.

---

Charlie struggled over the seating chart. Glenn was screwing him on purpose. No matter how hard he tried, it was mathematically impossible to seat all the couples together thanks to the rather awkward number of seats at each table. Charlie decided to just give up and try to seat people according to gender.

Half way through, two rather angry presences made themselves clear at his side. He looked up to see Farina and Matthew glaring at him rather angrily. Charlie glanced at Farina and raised and eyebrow.

"Where's Kiyo?"

"She's in town, with Guy. Is there a reason you sent me down the mountain with her without telling me where to go?"

Charlie blinked. "Ohh, I'm sorry. But why didn't you just ask for directions? It's just the game store. Everyone should know."

"Apparently not." Farina said. "And Kiyo has no idea what this store is even called. How the hell do we ask directions for that?'

"Alright, I'm sorry. Here, I'll give you directions."

"Oh no." Farina said. She and Matthew produced three feet of rope. "You're coming with us."

Charlie had no time to react before the pair attacked him. Soon, they were headed back down the mountain, Charlie's seating arrangements long forgotten on the bar at the inn.

---

"You know, you guys can untie me now." Charlie said. "I can lead you much better when I can see where I'm going...and not be dragged on the ground. It's chafing my skin."

Matthew and Farina exchanged glances. "You're not going to run away are you?"

"You dragged me down the mountain already." Charlie said. "What is running away going to accomplish? I already lost time, it'd be easier for me to help you then go back instead of trying to run and wasting everyone's time."

Farina nodded and Matthew untied the innkeeper. He stood up and stretched out his sore muscles and then looked around confused.

"Err, first of all, why are we in Currahee, and second of all, why is Currahee on fire?"

"Currahee's not on-" Matthew was interrupted by Farina twisting his head over to see the actual town that was now a sea of embers. Villagers were gathered at the front gate, the women and children huddled together and the men talking angrily with pitchforks and torches.

"Where's Kiyo?" Charlie demanded. Matthew and Farina looked at each other in horror.

"She was with Guy..." Farina said. "And I think we forgot to give him money for Pocky."

"Lovely." Charlie said. "Come on, we have to find her before the villagers do."

Matthew and Farina nodded and the three ran quickly into the burning town.

---

"Now Kiyoko." Guy said as he dodged a burning beam from a building that collapsed near him. "Get over here and stop that."

"NO! POCKY!" Kiyo screamed as she slammed her body into the door of a burning bakery. "I WANT POCKY!"

"I'll get you pocky, but burning the town down isn't going to help you!" Guy cried. He lunged for her, only to miss as Kiyoko ran off towards another section of the town. Guy cursed Matthew and Farina for not leaving him any money as he ran down the street after the girl, dodging debris and burning pieces of timber as buildings around him collapsed.

---

"I hear something over there." Charlie said as he ran down a side street. Behind him, Matthew and Farina struggled to catch up. Charlie obviously knew the town much better than they did, albeit the village was on fire.

"POCKY WANT NOW!"

"That's Kiyo!" Matthew shouted as the trio came into a square and saw a small figure trying to slam open the door to a burning building.

"KIYO!" Charlie shouted. The figure looked over. Charlie quickly dug into his pocket and brought out a packet of pocky. In a flash, the figure dashed across the square and barreled itself into the innkeeper.

"Oy, we found her." Matthew said as he and Farina ran up to the pile of people and robes that was Charlie and Kiyoko. The girl was happily munching on her snack.

"Alright, now where's Guy?" Charlie asked as he stood up with Kiyoko on his back.

Before anyone can answer, the young swordmaster appeared out of a side street and collapsed onto the street. The group quickly ran over to Guy.

"What happened?" Farina asked. "We were only gone for two hours."

"She ran out of pocky." Guy gasped. "And the woman at the bakery wouldn't give her any without money, so she went berserk."

"Yeah, that happens." Charlie said. "Now why the hell are we in Currahee? The shop's in Toccoa."

Matthew, Farina and Guy exchanged glances. They had no reason why they assumed the shop was in Currahee.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us?" Farina asked.

"I did." Charlie said. "Weren't you listening this morning?"

"Not really."

"Well there's your problem." Charlie said. "No wonder nobody knew where the game shop is."

"Well SORREEE!" Farina said. "I was a bit preoccupied with the not being able to breathe this morning."

"Uhh guys." Matthew said. "Not to interrupt your little pow wow, but we are still in the MIDDLE OF A BURNING TOWN with townspeople who are currently looking for and wanting to kill our young little bundle of energy there. It would be best if we left?"

Charlie nodded. "Lets get out of here. I still need to get the seating arrangements done."

"You're coming with us to Toccoa though." Guy said. "I'm not going through that again."

Charlie sighed. "Fine, geez, it's so hard to find good help these days. It's just babysitting a fifteen year old."

"That girl doesn't need a babysitter." Farina grumbled. "She needs an army to keep up with her energy."

---

"Here you are, one Crisis Core."

"Thank yee!" Kiyoko said happily as she took her game from the clerk and reattached herself to Charlie's back.

"Alright, now we can get out of here." Guy said.

"Yeah, about that." Charlie said. He pulled out a pack of pocky and tossed it at Guy. "Think fast."

"Wha?" Guy caught the pocky. He wondered why Charlie tossed it to him. Moments later, he found out in the form of Kiyoko jump tackling him.

"I need to get back up the mountain quickly to finish that seating chart." Charlie said, climbing onto Murphy behind Farina. "I asked her to bring me up. So you get to bring Kiyo up. And don't worry, Matthew will help you."

Guy watched in horror as Charlie and Farina disappeared into the sky. He looked around for Matthew. Unfortunately for him, the assassin was nowhere to be found. On the ground, a scrap of paper with his name on it gleamed in the sun. Guy picked it up and opened the note.

_Guy,_

_Since you won't help Sam out, I guess I won't help you out with Kiyo. Have fun. Consider this one of your favors you still owe me._

Matthew.

Guy stared disbelievingly at the note. Crumbling it in his fist, Guy threw up his head and cried out loudly to the heavens.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

---

Guy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Charlie: Dudududu

Erk: You are evil.

Charlie: Wait until you see my plan.

Erk: I hate you.

Charlie: It doesn't even involve you.

Erk: I still hate you.


	44. Epsilon Nought

Charlie: I am back from rehab.

Erk: You make it sound so scary.

Charlie: It is scary

Erk: It's been a year almost.

Charlie: School + 5 broken bones over the course of the year.

Erk: You had two girlfriends?

Charlie: I got dumped twice too.

Erk: Should I stop talking?

Charlie: Please. I apologize for the long time, school and my right ankle kept me from wanting to do…well anything other than sleep with my free time. Another thing, I'm using the newest version of office now, so if there's any formatting issues, please do forgive me.

* * *

**Chapter 43  
Epsilon Nought**

Nergal was angry. Though Limstella lacked the capacity to feel and interpret human emotions, morphs still were able to recognize and define them. And though Limstella has never felt anger, Limstella was certain that the Master's actions in murdering forest creatures only to use the quintessence to create squirrel morphs just so he can use Ereshkigal on said squirrels can only denote a sense of extreme fury.

"LIMSTELLA!"

The Master beckons. Limstella rose from the chair in the chamber and approached the main hall. It was the place where Ephidel had perished, the partner, Limstella's partner. They were The Master's hands. Now, Limstella filled the position of both his right and his left hand. The work was increased. Limstella cared not.

As Limstella approached the Master, Limstella noticed the lack of humans. The Black Fang was no more. More morphs. Emotionless, Mindless, Programmed. Save for their appearance, they bore no resemblance to their late counterparts. Briefly, Limstella wondered if there ever was a living, breathing "Limstella." The thought passed quickly. The Master was before her.

"Ahh, Limstella." The Master's eyes belied the pent up rage within him. "It's been almost a week. That whelp Eliwood seemingly vanished from the face of this planet."

Seven cycles of the burning circle. Time was meaningless to a being of essence as Limstella. However, the Master and his adversaries are all human. Time is fleeting for beings of flesh and blood, and Limstella had no answer as to why the Offspring was nowhere to be found.

"We are searching for him my lord." Limstella gave the only logical answer to give under the circumstances, despite the fact that the Master was perfectly aware of that point. "There are only so many places a human can hide out with an entire army for so long."

Nergal's eyes flashed.

"BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN FOUND HAVE THEY?!" The Master roared, no longer concealing his anger. "DO YOU THINK ELIWOOD JUST DECIDED TO TAKE A VACATION?! I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT!"

"The Offspring would not." Limstella said, calmly. "However, it is an error to assume that the Offspring is in tactical command of his army."

"Explain yourself Limstella." Nergal growled. It took all his willpower to remember that Limstella was a mindless morph and therefore harbored no intentions of betrayal. He had not given this one emotions.

"While yes, the army is referred to as the army of the Offspring, or Eliwood, it is clear that the Offspring lacks both the experience and the tactical intelligence required to lead such a force, especially against the superior numbers of the Black Fang and my brethren."

"Go on."

Limstella sensed her Master's anger slowly replace with intrigue. "Over the last few battles, I've instructed some of my morphs to take observations. It is now clear that the one issuing deployment, tactical and movement commands is that short girl. They call her Jessica. She is their tactician. Furthermore, while their army has had victories against the Black Fang, their army is suffering from severe infighting due to intolerance and overinflated egos among the company. My analysis is that the tactician would not dare face our main forces with the infighting."

"Yes, I remember that one." Nergal said, thinking. Limstella noted that the Master was about to arrive at the same conclusion. "Yes, it makes sense. But where would you hide an army and force them to bond for so long without fear of retaliation?"

"I've made an overlaying analysis of locations they might be in. Their last battle was against Linus, from there, we can assume they traveled for no more than a day or else our scouts would have found them." Limstella waved a hand and someone handed over a map. The Master nodded, and Limstella unfurled the map on the ground. On the map, the location of the battle was marked in red, and a small region surrounding the mark was enclosed.

"This map shows the traveling radius for the army." Limstella explained. "I have already dispatched parties to search the most probable locations, it could take some time, but assuming the army doesn't move again, it's inconsequential."

"And where would they be hiding?" Nergal asked out of curiosity.

Limstella withdrew a pen. "Desolation Point in Southern Ostia, Graveyard Craig in Southern Ilia, and the Emerald Peaks along the Lycia-Etruria boarder."

The Master nodded. "Very well, carry on and let me know when you have found them."

"Yes my Lord." Limstella packed the map and proceeded out of the hall.

* * *

Silent Springs. As he warmed himself near the fire, Harken wondered how anybody could live up here through the winter. Not surprising, none of the Morphs in his group were at all affected by the cold. Those whose body temperature fell too low simply keeled over and dissolved with hardly a peep from the rest. Harken wondered if any of them realized he was human, but then it probably wouldn't have mattered. To the Morphs, they're here to do a job. Nothing more, nothing less, and if one of their own was a human, then oh well.

They've been watching the town for about two days now. Harken couldn't bring himself to look. He knew Lord Eliwood was down there, along with Her.

At this point, not even he knew what he was doing or why he was doing it.

* * *

The ball was set to begin in two hours. Charlie stared ruefully at the dress he had bought Kiyoko. If he could not convince her to wear this, then Glenn would force him into some pink, lacy monstrosity. As he looked out the window, a tall figure appeared over the horizon. It was Guy, carrying Kiyoko, who apparently was making the job much harder by repeatedly smacking the poor Sacaen over the head. Charlie looked at the dress. No, he was not going to let this stand. As he watched Kiyoko abuse Guy, an idea came to him.

Praying to Elimine for forgiveness for what he was about to do to the poor man, he went to his desk for some paper and a pen.

* * *

"Hello? Charlie? I have your demon sister!" Guy called out into the darkened house. The girl was preoccupied with raiding one of the cupboards for Pocky to notice the snipe he took. Guy took a few steps into the building and looked around. Nothing seemed too disturbed. The torch staves were off; it seemed that Charlie had left his house already. Guy sighed and collapsed onto one of the chairs. He needed a moment to rest before trekking out with the girl to find him. It was then that he noticed the piece of paper on the living room table.

_Guy,_

_I'm terribly sorry but there's been some reports of hostile activity up in the high mountains. I'm going to go investigate now. If you get back, please help Kiyoko get ready and take her to the ball. _

_Thank you,  
Charlie_

Guy stared disbelievingly at the letter. Moments later, Kiyoko emerged from the kitchen to find the Swordmaster staring at a piece of paper with an ashen face and a slight tremble in his hands. She silently went behind him to look at what he was staring at over his shoulder.

"I hope Charlie's alright…" she said reading the note. "But hey, we get to go to the dance together! It'll be fun! Come on, let's go to my place! The dinner is in two hours and Glenn gets crabby if we don't show up at least an hour early."

As Kiyoko dragged a struggling Guy out the door and towards a small cottage down the lane, he silently begged St. Elimine to kill him now.

From behind the building, Charlie watched euphorically as his troubles got dragged away kicking and screaming. Unfortunately, his joy was short lived. A gleam in the distance caught his peripheral vision. Retrieving his sword from his house, Charlie headed up the mountain, wondering if his little lie had somehow come true to bite him in the ass.

* * *

Hector was quite impressed. While the place wasn't as well decorated as some of the balls at Castle Ostia, the natural scenery gives the whole event a iridescent glow that cannot be reproduced with money. He watched as one of the locals arrived with quite the beautiful girl on his arm. He grinned at Eliwood, it was going to be a fun night.

"My Lords…" Sonia greeted at the door. "Welcome."

Hector nodded in acknowledgement. He then spied the drinks and made a beeline for them. Eliwood stayed behind to chat with Sonia about the decoration. Pherae almost never got snow, he was quite intrigued by the falling crystals.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Eliwood snapped to at the voice of Jessica. He turned to give a remark when a wave of shock hit him and stopped him dead in his tracks. The normally stoic and somewhat tomboyish tactician now looked… well, looked like a girl. Her hair was released in waves cascading down to her waist, accentuating her black dress and matching heels.

"J-J-J-Jessica?"

Jessica smacked the stunned lord upside the head. "Yes, I am a girl." She said sarcastically.

Eliwood shook himself from his reverie and grinned. "Eh, same old Jessica."

Jessica shrugged. "I'm still me when I dress up just like how you're still an idiot when you dress up."

Eliwood put a hand over his chest. "That hurts Jessica."

Jessica just smiled. "The truth sometimes hurts." She slinked in, leaving Sonia to giggle silently at Eliwood's shell shocked expression.

--

"Come on Heath." Lyn said taking the taciturn Wyvern Knight by the arm. "It's just a ball."

"I'm a simple knight." Heath insisted. "I'm not used to this. Plus I was certain I saw Guy earlier in a pink dress."

Lyn raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'm serious." Heath said.

"Show me." Lyn squealed. "I want to see."

Sighing, Heath took Lyn by the arm and took her through the people until he found Guy hiding behind the innkeeper's sister. Upon seeing him, Lyn immediately broke down into laughter, causing the Sacaen to scowl darkly.

"What happened to you Guy?"

"Apparently…" Guy said. "They don't like it when your both the male and the female wear pants. Someone named Glenn smashed something over my head and when I came to, I was wearing this. And what's worse, I think he put some sort of spell on it. Canas told me that it would wear off in three hours, but until then I can't take this thing off!"

Lyn glanced at Kiyoko who was inspecting Guy's dress and squealing every now and then. "Wasn't Charlie going to take her?"

"Apparently, they found some suspicious activity up the mountain. He went to investigate. I got stuck with her."

"Who found suspicious activity?"

Guy laughed bitterly. "'They' did, which probably means he just ditched me. Though Glenn is somewhat scary so I don't really blame him for ditching me."

At this point, Kiyoko spoke up. "But…why is Charlie still not back?"

Lyn glanced out one of the windows. It was pitch black outside save for a few torch staves lighting the street, revealing a torrent of snowflakes.

"You think maybe he wasn't lying?"

Guy looked around. "Hey, Kiyoko, is everyone else from this town here?"

The girl stretched her neck and glanced around. "Yeah, Charlie and Kevin are the only ones not here. And Kevin's probably up in the library. He doesn't remember these things."

Guy, Lyn and Heath exchanged glances. Maybe something was up after all. And if that were the case, Charlie's disappearance wasn't the only thing they had to worry about.

* * *

The blizzard had picked up. Most of the town's torches had dimmed, except for the ones near the church where some sort of gathering was taking place. Harken had given up watching the town a long time ago. The Morphs apparently recognized he was human. They left him alone for the most part. He was on a small cliff jutting out from the side of the mountain, thinking about Lord Elbert and how badly he had failed his Lord. Harken often wondered why he had survived, but it was a moot point. He had failed; he must accept his punishment and atone for his failures.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head and watched as the edge of the cliff swiftly approached his ever darkening vision.

'Free at last.'

Harken blacked out.

--

Warmth. Was he in Heaven? Despite failing at his duties was he shown mercy? Slowly, Harken opened his eyes. He was in a cave. There was fire. He tried to rub his eyes but found that his arms were bound. Soon, he realized he was completely chained down. He looked up, a young man sat across from him cooking something over the fire

"Hello."

Harken stayed silent.

"You seem different from your buddies." The man continued ignoring the fact that Harken was ignoring him. "The others kinda just dissolved into dust when I smacked them. You nearly fell off the cliff when you passed out."

Harken closed his eyes. This wasn't happening. He was supposed to be dead.

"So, why are you, a breathing, living man doing hanging around a bunch of Morphs?"

Harken's eyes shot open. "How do you know about Morphs?"

The man chuckled. "So you do talk. There's an eccentric librarian where I live. He told me about them. Didn't think they actually existed until I met your buddies."

"Did you kill all of them?" Harken asked.

"I'm one person bud." The man said sardonically. "If I could actually subdue that many suicidal, unfeeling Morphs by myself, I'd have done it already and not be hiding in this cave with you."

"Oh."

"So, you wanna tell me what's going on?" He asked. "You seem conflicted."

"Nothing to talk about." Harken answered gruffly. "I failed my duties as a Knight. I must atone for it now."

"By working with a bunch of Morphs to spy on a small town? Who did you exactly fail?"

"The Marquess of Pherae."

The man's eyes changed. "I see. So why exactly are you working with these Morphs again?"

Harken's patience was running out. "I'm telling you, I have to atone."

"And…working with these guys is the way to do it?"

"I don't deserve to be a knight."

The man sighed. "Look dude, I know more about Morphs than you think I do. You don't make them in some Arts and Crafts class. Living people have to die, their quintessence has to be used. If you want to atone for failing Lord Eliwood's father, the I don't think working with these guys is the way to do it."

Harken looked away.

"I know you're upset…" The man continued. "But there are civilians down there. Women, Children, etc… even your Lord's son is down there. So if your idea of atonement is to help these Morphs go down there and slaughter everyone, then I'm afraid you need to go consult a dictionary and look up what 'atonement' actually means."

"Shut up."

The man shrugged. "It's the truth. You wanna 'atone' for whatever it is you did, help me defend the town."

"You don't understand." Harken said. "I don't deserve to defend anyone. I failed."

The man's eyes flashed. "No, YOU don't understand. The world isn't about your pride or your dignity as a knight. When a child is slaughtered, he doesn't give a shit about why you were being a catatonic moron. This is life buddy. You screwed up, whatever. There are innocent children in that town down there. If you can't get over yourself for one second and help out, at least do everyone a favor and not be on the side of those who are doing the slaughtering."

Harken looked up at the man. He was young, but then everyone in Silent Springs is young. Older folks had a tougher time living in extreme cold. Harken would imagine how miserable Marcus might be. Regardless, Harken knew he couldn't face Lord Eliwood, not after he failed to protect his father. He looked up to see the boy tie a sword to his side.

"I'm going." He said as he slashed the locks off of Harken's chains. "If you feel the need to kill yourself, the cliff you were on is suspended three thousand feet over sharp rocks. If not, do what you will. But if I see you with the Morphs again, I will not hesitate to cut your throat the next time."

He turned to leave. Harken stared down at his hands, now free from confinement. He looked up to see the boy walk out of the cave.

"WAIT!"

The boy stopped.

"…I'll help."

The boy nodded. "Then follow me."

Harken got up and stretched his sore muscles. "What is your name by the way?"

"Charlie."

"I'm Harken."

Charlie nodded. "Come with me. We're running out of time. Almost everyone's gathered at the ball tonight. If the Morphs were to strike, now would be the best time. They could take everyone out with one blow."

* * *

"Master."

Nergal seethed. Limstella better had a good reason for disturbing his meditation.

"This had better be good."

Limstella nodded, either unaware or uncaring of Nergal's wrath. "I've received a report. The team has located the Offspring in the Emerald Peaks, at a town called Silent Springs."

"Excellent." Nergal said smiling, Limstella's interruption forgiven. "Tell them to leave no survivors. Gather all the quintessence they can. Leave the dragon siblings alive though."

"Yes Master." Limstella replied coolly. Holding out a staff, Limstella sent a short, concise message to the leader. Soon, the Master's plan will be complete. Limstella was aware that Nergal would probably have no need of Limstella once his mission was complete. As Limstella left the Master's chambers a realization hit. Limstella's eyes widened.

Limstella was afraid.

* * *

Charlie: Yes, Harken.

Erk: …why?

Charlie: I was really sleepy in a playthrough where I got Harken. He seemed somewhat emo, and I don't know why he was working for the people who captured and killed Elbert, but he was so that's how I'm justifying his situation.

Erk: It's a terrible justification.

Charlie: It's also a crack at emo people who stop making sense just to be emo.

Erk: …at least you didn't leave him out.

Charlie: I believe in equal opportunity torment.

Erk: …I would've guessed. So what's up with Limstella? Is she developing emotions?

Charlie: You'll see...

Erk: ...maybe in a year or so.

Charlie: Yeah, sorry about that again. Oh and I'm a bit rusty so the chapter's kinda short and just sorta moves the plot in a direction so I can do something. I'm still rereading my stuff to get a handle on where I was. I'm hoping this chapter was vague enough to not conflict with anything, but if it does, I'm sorry. Oh and leave a review please. I normally don't ask, but again, I'm rusty. If things stop making sense or if you get lost in the dialogue, let me know.


	45. Evil is the New Black

Erk: You HAVE no excuse man.

Charlie: I don't.

Erk: It's been SEVERAL years.

Charlie: It has.

Erk: …

Charlie: You done?

Erk: ...You really think just because you were at risk of dying in your thirties that I would forgive your neglect?

Charlie: You really think I care about what you think?

Erk: ...sigh... just roll it.

* * *

**Chapter 45**

**Evil is the New Black  
**

The morph attack was a blessing and a curse. For one, it did get him out of having to wear a pink dress in front of people, a task left to poor Guy.

On the other hand, it REALLY screwed with his plan, not to mention he picked up one more straggler.

Harken was good. He's lawfully stupid and spouts out all kinds of idealistic knighthood crap about honor and such, but at least he backed his idiocy with good swordsmanship.

Morphs were easily dispatched. Low level magical constructs did not do well in high altitudes in a blizzard. Unfortunately, the cold eventually also got to Harken, and the knight began to slow down. Soon, Charlie found himself surrounded by Morphs carrying a man with frostbite.

"...You honestly came up here without a heavy coat?" Charlie muttered as he fended off a wave of morphs.

Harken struggled to move his frostbitten arm fast enough to block oncoming attacks. He shrugged noncommittally at Charlie's exclamation. To be perfectly honest, Harken hadn't scaled the mountain expecting to survive. His meeting with the innkeeper was a mere coincidence. To know that Lord Eliwood was fighting so hard to finish his father's work gave Harken new hope.

Unfortunately, now he was actually worried that he might die, and if his movements get any slower, it would only be a matter of time before one of the morphs got lucky.

Beside him, the innkeeper gave a grunt of pain. Harken looked over to see him breathing hard with one knee in the snow. The darkened snow beneath the man indicated that he was bleeding quite heavily, though Harken couldn't see where from. Around them, sounds of footsteps indicated another wave of morphs zeroing in on their position.

"How badly are you hurt?" Harken asked.

He got a grunt in response. Harken looked over to see the innkeeper attempt to stand while using his sword as a crutch. He could see a long gash in his right arm.

"...That badly huh?"

Charlie gave another pained grunt as he steadied himself and raised his sword with his off arm. The cold was numbing the pain well enough, but without use of his right arm, his balance was off. If the morphs mounted any sort of concentrated attack, Charlie had no chance of fending them off. He looked over at Harken. The man was practically a popsicle. Charlie sighed, it was a very shitty way to die.

"Well... I seriously hope you're over the regrets in your life..." He muttered to Harken.

* * *

Guy almost regretted leaving the warmth of the party. Kiyoko had not understated how could it got at night during a blizzard in the mountains. Next to him, Heath struggled similarly with the cold, despite wearing heavy winter coat. Up ahead, Kiyoko waited impatiently for the men to catch up. Guy noted that he probably shouldn't be surprised the girl felt perfectly comfortable in a light jacket and thin cotton pants.

"Remind me why I'm out here with you again?" Heath growled. "I could be indoors, drinking wine with a pretty girl!"

"BROS BEFORE HOES DUDE!"

"If you were such a bro, you wouldn't cockblock me like that!"

Guy stared over at Heath. "...having a girlfriend changed you... I don't know if I like the new you."

Before Heath could respond, a snowball flew through the air and smacked Guy across the face.

"WILL YOU GIRLS HURRY UP?"

The two shut up and quickly made their way to the unhappy girl.

"Finally... you two are slow."

"It doesn't snow like this in Sacae." Guy said. "Damn it's cold."

"Yes, it's a blizzard." Kiyoko deadpanned.

"Where are we even going?" Heath asked. "I can't see ten feet in front of me, and Charlie could be anywhere on a mountain that Guy and I are probably not physically conditioned enough to climb in this weather."

Kiyoko shook her head. "Even for us locals, there's only a few paths up the mountains that are safe enough to climb. If he went up the mountain, there are only so many places he could be."

"Why did you need us to come with you again?" Heath asked.

Kiyoko turned to start up the dark mountain path. "If there is something out there, I would only need to outrun your frostbitten asses to get away safely."

Guy and Heath shared a look. "Good to know."

* * *

Kini

More a rumor than a name. Tales of her deeds are used to scare small children into behaving. The mere mention of her name is a crime in several townships. Even the evilest of men considered their acts saintly compared to hers. Never seen except by those about to die. Never heard except in one's last moments of life. Local legends speak of her as a demon... borne of darkness... evil... twisted... soul-less... one who has taken killing and elevated it to an art form... the Rembrandt of Death.

Unfortunately reality stinks, and Kini herself knows that despite the legends, she is still human. She susceptible to whims of human nature – errors, emotions, desires...

And right now, the one man who knew her greatest weakness... was late.

Kini wrapped her scarf tighter around her frame and gripped her weapons. Tardiness was an anomaly, and when a girl gains the notoriety Kini has gained... there's no such thing as being too paranoid.

* * *

"Morphs? Here?"

Guy let instinct take over as he parried attacks from the golden-eyed soul-less construct.

"Looks like Nergal got impatient." Heath said.

Guy grunted and ducked his assailants attack before swiftly disemboweling the poor morph. The dying construct made no sound as it slumped to the ground and dissolved into a black dust, scattering into the winds. He looked over to see Heath standing over a similar pile of scattering black dust.

"So... you think these morphs had something to do with the innkeeper disappearing?" Guy asked.

Heath gave him a withering look. "Ya think?"

* * *

The blizzard had died down slightly. Charlie was able to see clearly how surrounded they were. To his surprise, only 4 morphs stared down at them, unmoving.

"...What are they waiting for?" He asked no one in particular.

Harken didn't know the answer to that, so he remained silent. He wondered if it was a trap. The amount of noise he had heard earlier had indicated a much larger force than the four stone faced morphs currently staring them down.

"Hey... Harken..." Charlie whispered.

Harken looked up.

"It might be a trap, it might not." Charlie continued. "But it's the only chance we'll get."

"You have a plan?"

"Sort of." Charlie said. He pointed slightly at a faint path leading down the mountain. "If you keep going down that path, you'll eventually reach town. On my count, head down that way. I'll draw the morphs away from you."

"But...what will happen to you?"

Charlie shrugged. "I'll be fine. I know these mountains better than you do and better than these morphs do. I'll lose them eventually."

"But you're injured."

"It hurts, but it doesn't keep me from running away." Charlie said. "It stopped bleeding too, the cold weather helps. It's really the only chance we get. You can send for help once you get in town. I'll assume at least somebody will recognize you."

Harken nodded. "God speed."

Charlie pulled a odd pouch and a small box out of his cloak. He handed the box to Harken.

"Give that to my sister." He said. Then he threw the pouch onto the ground.

"Shield your eyes."

Harken did as he was told. Charlie slammed his sword into the pouch, breaking the seal and letting the contents spill together on the ground. He closed his eyes just before a bright, blinding flash pierced the darkness.

"RUN! NOW!"

Harken opened his eyes and bolted towards the path Charlie had pointed him towards earlier. He was surprised to note that the morphs were holding their eyes, writhing in silent pain.

Charlie watched Harken disappear down the path. He then turned his attention on the morphs. They would be regaining their sight soon enough. Charlie took out a bottle of alcohol and a small strip of cloth. After thoroughly disinfecting and bandaging his wound, he grabbed his sword and waited.

The morphs regained sight and zeroed in on the innkeeper. Charlie turned up the mountain... and ran for his life.

* * *

Kiyoko heard footsteps. Fast footsteps. She drew her dagger and ducked to the side of the road, hiding in the shadows. Behind her, Kiyoko could hear Guy and Heath continue their struggle up the mountain... they would be a good distraction.

The footsteps grew louder. Kiyoko looked up the path and squinted. She could make out a single person running quickly down the mountain. As the figure drew near, the girl gripped her dagger, ready to pounce...

Then she heard the gasping pants. The runner was breathing... rather heavily too.

"What the..."

Before Kiyoko had a chance to react, the figure had bolted past her. She heard a series of loud thuds... then a slow rumble accompanied by the yelling of three men. Kiyoko quickly sheathed her daggers and ran back down the path towards the noise.

* * *

Guy groaned in pain. Every little movement set his muscles on fire; every breath sent shooting pains up his sides.. He tried to lift his limbs, but found his arms and legs pinned down by heavy weights. Guy opened his eyes slowly and found himself underneath two other groaning lumps.

"Get off me..." Guy groaned.

The other two figures picked themselves off him, and Guy took a deep breath. The shooting pains were still there. Guy sighed. He had a cracked rib.

"You okay?" He heard Heath's voice ask. Guy grunted noncommittally and struggled to his feet.

"What happened?"

"This guy ran into us." Heath said, pointing at the third participant to their dogpile. "Looks like we rolled down the mountain path. We're lucky we didn't go off a cliff."

Guy looked over to the other man who was nursing little injuries of his own. The man was breathing, his eyes weren't golden, and his face showed a variety of emotions. Not a morph.

"Who are you?" Guy asked.

"Harken" Came the man's labored response.

"Okay Harken..." Guy said. "Why were you running blindly down the mountain?"

"Running away from morphs. Need to warn Lord Eliwood." Harken replied. He looked up. "Are you two from the village? You need to warn everyone. A very bad man is sending magical constructs to this town to kill everyone."

Guy and Heath exchanged looks.

"Nergal found us. We need to tell Jessica and the lords."

"Wait." Harken said. "You know Nergal?"

Heath and Guy looked puzzled.

"You know Nergal?"

"I was one of Lord Elbert's knights. We were attacked by him."

"We're part of Lord Eliwood's army. He's still trying to kill us."

"You know Lord Eliwood? Is he well?"

Guy sighed. "Okay, this could go on for a while. Let's get you back in town and we can discuss this new situation with everyone."

They started down the path. Suddenly, Heath stopped.

"Wait...did you run past a girl on your way down? She's short, long hair, hyperactive?" Heath asked.

Harken shook his head. "No, and if I did, I probably missed her. It's so dark, I can't see anything."

"Maybe she got lost? Or captured?" Guy suggested hopefully.

"Or... maybe I'm just more awesome than you guys and know how to hide my tracks. And why did you sound so happy when you thought I was missing? Hmm Guy?"

The guys jumped. Guy and Heath turned around nervously to face a rather annoyed Kiyoko.

"We weren't trying to ditch you!" Guy said. "Honest!"

"Right..." Kiyoko said. She turned to Harken. "Your name was Harken right?"

Harken nodded. He wondered what such a young girl was doing in such horrible conditions dressed so lightly.

"Did you happen to see another man up there? His name is Charlie. Kinda tall, probably drunk?"

"Oh..." Harken said, he looked sadly at the girl. "He found me up here. We were surrounded. He was hurt... then he lured the morphs away by himself so I could come down and warn everybody."

Kiyoko stiffened. "Did he give you anything?"

Harken wondered if this girl was the sister. She seemed to be extremely worried that Charlie was up on the mountains by himself, surrounded by morphs, and injured. He took out the box Charlie handed him earlier.

"He gave me this for his sister."

Kiyoko looked at the box, then squealed happily. She took it from Harken, opened it up, and started to much happily on the contents.

"So what do we do now?" Guy asked. "You wanna go back up and find Charlie? Or Charlie's body as the case may be. Or do you want to go down and warn everyone."

Kiyoko shrugged. "I have my pocky. I don't care."

Guy and Heath facepalmed. Harken looked confused.

"She doesn't seem to care too much about her brother."

Guy sighed. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

"So what do we do now?" Harken asked.

Heath shrugged. "Charlie was willing to put himself at risk so Harken can warn the town. I think we need to tell everybody, otherwise the morphs could hit the town while we're getting lost in the mountains."

Guy and Harken nodded. Kiyoko shrugged and latched herself onto Guy's back. Heath then led Harken down the mountain, motioning for him to ignore Guy's complaints and cries of pain.

"Why me..." Guy whined as he piggybacked Kiyoko down the mountain... with a cracked rib.

* * *

Charlie was quickly regretting his decision to become the bait. The original four morphs who were chasing him were quickly joined by an invariable army of morphs. No less than twenty were behind him, chasing him with a singular determination. Charlie quickly found that if he took out one, three more would simply take its place. These things were unaffected by the cold, unaffected by the blizzard, unaffected by the altitude... it was as if his demise was a personal issue with these morphs.

He had long given up using environmental traps to dispose of his pursuers. Charlie had one card left to play. A cave, near the top of the mountain. He just hoped she would still be there.

* * *

Kini heard the chase approaching her long before she saw anything. The darkness necessitated the use of hearing over sight.

"KINIIIIIIII"

Kini sighed. It was Charlie... he was late... he was being chased. Several scenarios ran through the girl's head as to why Charlie was being chased. None of them ended well for her.

"KINI! I'M BEING CHASED BY MORPHS!"

Morphs? Kini wondered why magical constructs would be chasing him of all people here of all places. Morphs were nasty constructs. A guy named Nergal tried to hire her for a job. He paid well, but he made her work with morphs. Kini wasn't an idiot. She knew how morphs were constructed, and she didn't fancy being killed and having her spirit broken down into raw materials after Nergal decided he didn't want to pay her after all.

"KINI IF I DIE, YOU'LL NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT!"

Kini cursed. The man was right. Of all her desires and addictions, Charlie held the key to the strongest one... the only one that she lacked the... capacity to obtain for herself. Sighing, Kini drew two daggers from her belt... then abruptly disappeared from sight.

Charlie kept running, but the sudden changing of the winds signaled to him that Kini was on the move. The girl was special. Her parents were very powerful magi, experimenting the limits of human-magic interaction. One day, their experiment went too far. Kini's parents were killed in the accident. Kini herself however... was left unharmed... but changed. Her body became infused with magical essence... allowing her to turn her entire body into pure magical energy.

There is a massive amount of mathematics and magical theories that could explain Kini's condition. Charlie, however, cared not why the girl could do what she could do. After several years spent as a test subject in Etrurian laboratories, Kini had enough. She broke out, obliterating an entire town in the process, thus giving birth to her reputation and her notoriety. She made a living taking jobs in the underworld, not that she had a choice otherwise after being labeled a heretic by the Etrurian clergy and an international terrorist. Plus once in a while, Kini would blow something up just to keep the rumors about her fresh.

Charlie reached a lit cave that was Kini's camp, and slumped to the ground near the fireplace. The elixir took the edge off the pain in his arm, but it doesn't change the fact that a morph had run his right arm through with a sword. He tore off strips of his shirt and began bandaging his wounds.

Kini shot through the air as a bolt of lightning, surveying the landscape. The morphs were being slowed by the winds, but continued on fearlessly, emotionlessly towards where Charlie was holed up. Kini counted at least 25 within the vicinity, but she sensed many more around the general area.

She adjusted herself and shot towards the ground, striking through the two lead morphs. She then melted into dark magic and sank into the ground. The morphs took no notice of their comrade's fall, and continued their trek towards their target. Kini floated through the ground and rose beneath the feet of another morph, crushing it with dark magic before melting back into the ground.

Taking a break, Kini retook her human form on a partially hidden outcropping and surveyed the morphs. She quickly counted her adversaries and noted that more morphs had simply joined the party to replace the ones lost. Stretching out her magical senses, Kini tracked at least a dozen more heading up the peak.

"Damn they really want Charlie dead..." Kini muttered. She considered her options... then smirked. If they wanted the alcohol loving bastard dead so much...

Kini transformed into flux energies and melted once again into the ground. She shot towards where Charlie hid... holding herself back until the lead morphs were close enough to see the entrance to the cave. Kini then shot up from the ground, blasting the mouth of the cave, causing a lot of noise and collapsing rock and snow. The force of the blast sent the morphs leading the charge flying off the mountain.

"OY!" Charlie yelled as he was flung against the cave walls.

Kini retook human form and tackled Charlie, covering his mouth tightly with her hand. She used her abilities to transform both herself and Charlie into a block of ice.

The morphs reached the mouth of the cave and peered inside.

"There are no life forms inside." The lead morph said.

"I sense no sources of quintessence." Another said. "They have escaped."

"Lord Nergal will not be pleased."

"Our primary objective remains to capture Lord Eliwood. These other beings are inconsequential to us."

"We were instructed to harvest everyone."

"Our instructions were to harvest everyone in our way. These two are no longer in our way. We shall proceed with primary objectives."

One by one, the morphs left, and Kini reverted herself and Charlie back to their original forms.

"I did not know you could transform other people..." Charlie said, shivering. "And you just had to turn us into ice..."

"Oh suck it up." Kini said. "You're late by the way. Did you have trouble finding an excuse to leave the party?"

"No..." Charlie said. "I didn't expect morphs. They weren't too keen on leaving me alone... if you didn't notice."

"Whatever..." Kini shrugged. "So... are you still going to go through with it?"

Charlie nodded. "Do you have the package?"

Kini pulled out a box-like object wrapped in brown paper. "Do you have my payment?"

Charlie sighed. He took out a small bag filled with long black strands. Kini squealed happily and quickly exchanged her package for Charlie's bag. She opened it and took a deep breath and sighed happily.

"...that's just kinda creepy." Charlie said.

"Oh shut up. Not all of us are lucky enough to be her brother."

"You mean unlucky enough?" Charlie asked. "Though it kinda worries me that one of the most notorious mass murderers in Elibe is obsessed with my little sister and is currently sniffing strands of her hair. It worries me more that I'm actually assisting you in perving on my little sister."

"Hey, you want my help, you have to pay."

"Why can't you accept gold like normal hired blades?" Charlie asked.

Kini fluxed behind Charlie, scaring the man half to death.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not normal." Kini deadpanned. "I am however, curious."

"Yes?"

"I do the things I do because I don't have much of a choice. Why are you doing this? Why now?"

Charlie shrugged. "What other reason would a man have to betray his family, his friends, his country?"

"Money? Power? Insanity?"

"Indeed." Charlie said. "Now, I need to get back before people start getting worried. What say you stick around town for a while? I might need your help to fight off the morphs among other things."

"If you're going to betray everyone, why defend them from morphs?"

"Because the morphs represent competition." Charlie said. He took out a small portrait of his sister. "I'll make it worth your time."

Kini drooled at the picture of Kiyoko.

"I'm listening."

"How would you like a job as my assistant bartender? As long as you don't activate your powers, nobody should recognize you. I'll give you a wig and some accessories to alter your physical appearance."

"Sounds dreadfully boring." Kini said.

"You'll be with my sister Every. Single. Day."

Kini perked up. "When do I start?"

* * *

Erk: Uhh...

Charlie: Meh, I decided to do something evil.

Erk: College has changed you.

Charlie: Many things changed me.

Erk: Right...

Charlie: Alright... so, it has been a few years. .I got back into writing this after someone told me there's actually a link to this thing on tvtropes. Then Kiyoko and her friend got really excited about being on tvtropes. Let me stress this... in the past few years, I've been dealing with some massive health issues. At some point I was probably close to dying... or at least becoming extremely sick. Things become... less important then.

No promises on future updates, but I am rolling with a story arc to finish off the last week. There will be more utter randomness and outrageous crap. Hell, I'll probably scientifically explain magic at some point.

Other OCs will probably have less focus. Yes, I know you're not supposed to have Harken and Karel together. I know that if Karla's there, Ninian's already "dead." If you haven't figured it out by now, no this thing's not supposed to make sense.


	46. Subject Zero

Erk: You're supposed to be paying learning about transfer protocols.

Charlie: End of a 3 hour class. Can't... pay... attention anymore.

Erk: It's gonna be on your midterm.

Charlie: It's a class about the internet. All answers are "for porn."

Erk: …

Charlie: Roll it.

Erk: …

* * *

**Chapter 46**

**Subject Zero**

_1242 years after the present._

_Silent Springs, Ostia_

"Nana! Nana!"

Loretta looked up from her morning paper and smiled. Ever since retiring back to her childhood home, she rarely got to see her grandchildren. They visited once or twice a year, whenever her son got a break from work. The frail old lady got up and wrapped her scarf around herself tightly. Despite the technological advancements of the modern world, scientists have yet to figure out how to make this place less frozen.

"NANA!"

The voices hit her before the blast of icy wind, and Loretta found her self engulfed by three hyperactive kids jumping up and down and talking at the same time. She looked up and saw her son and daughter-in-law smiling at her sheepishly as they shut the door.

"Sorry!" her son said. "We couldn't hold them back."

Loretta waved him off. "Don't feel bad. The combined strength of the Lycian army couldn't stop these three."

Her son and his wife smiled apologetically and shrugged off their coats.

"They've been excited the entire five hour flight from Pherae... ...and the subsequent 3 hour car ride to the foot of the mountains... and the 30 minute gondola ride up the mountain... and the-"

Loretta held up a hand. "I get it. Go. Nap. I can handle these three for a few hours."

The couple smiled appreciatively at their mother before trotting off towards a few hours of peace and quiet. Loretta watched them go and turned her attention to her grandchildren. Two twin girls, Clarissa and Sophie, and a boy, Ben. The girls were four, the boy, nine and already developing an overprotective streak towards his sisters.

"So..." Loretta said. "Who wants... to go to the town square and hear Uncle Harry tell a story?"

The kids fell silent and looked up at the grandmother with hopeful eyes.

"Uncle Harry's back?"

"Uncle Harry's back."

"YAY!"

Loretta smiled as the three balls of energy zoomed towards the door. She stopped briefly to grab her coat. Harold Schmidt was once both a brilliant magic researcher and a loopy historian. Now he was just a loopy historian who hung around the Silent Springs town square telling tales of the olden days.

The grandchildren loved "Uncle Harry" as they called him. He told them tales of ancient battles against dragons. Beautiful princesses retaking their thrones from evil usurpers. Tales of love, adventure and fantasy. Unfortunately the last time the children were in town, Uncle Harry was in the hospital being reassembled by surgeons after something in his house had exploded. That was a very long week.

But now, as they approached the main square of the tiny town in the mountains, unchanged for seemingly over a thousand years (on the surface at least), old Harold Schmidt was right there, feeding birds at the foot of the giant marble statue of a fierce looking girl in a battle stance.

"Well I'll be!" Harold exclaimed. "Look who it is, it's Loretta and her lil' ones!"

"UNCLE HARRY!" The kids yelled and ran off. Loretta smiled at the scene.

"Well now kids, I hope you didn't miss ol' Uncle Harry too much."

"Well we did!" One of the girls exclaimed. Loretta couldn't tell which one.

"Where were you last year?" That was Ben.

"Well, Uncle Harry just had a little accident."

"Little?" Loretta said smacking Harold on the arm. "Who keeps stores of nitrated esters and sulfuric acid near stacks of fire tomes? You're just lucky the explosion activated your nearby Fimbulvetrs. Otherwise we'll need to find another loony historian to keep the kids from driving their parents crazy."

"Oh Loretta." Harold said. "I had it under control."

Loretta rolled her eyes as Harold focused on the kids.

"SO! What story do we have for you three today?"

"Uncle Harry?" little Sophie asked.

"Yes sweetie?"

She pointed to the statue that they sat under. "Who is that?"

"Who is this? Who is this?" Harold exclaimed, going crazy. "Loretta, have you taught these children nothing?"

"If I taught them everything, you would be out of a job Harold." Loretta said with a wink.

"True true..." Harold turned back towards the kids. "This my dears, is a statue of one of the greatest heroes of our glorious history."

"Lord Eliwood?"

Harold hung his head. "Our school system has failed you my children."

"They say Lord Eliwood saved the world from an evil sorcerer named Nergal!"

"Aye, another falsehood." Harold said. "The army may have belonged to Lord Eliwood, but the man certainly did little to help his own cause."

"Really?"

"Really." Harold said. "Now, this here, is not a statue of Lord Eliwood. This is a statue of Baroness Kini Isabel Victoire Regina Kuestoicz von Juurgens-Raistzenburg."

Ben looked up. "That name sounds familiar Uncle Harry."

Harold looked down. "Of course, you're in fourth grade aren't you Ben?"

Ben nodded proudly.

"Your history books tell her story differently" Harold said. "Her father is Lord Edmund Heinrich Ferdinand Fawkes de Kuestoicz von Juurgens, Baron of Staltzburg,"

"I know him!" Ben said. "He was a famous mage lord in Etruria who was killed in an accident! Ohh! I remember now! His daughter, Kini Kuestoicz von Juurgens was caught in the edges of that accident. She became a human magic tome! Then she destroyed several villages trying to escape. They called her the Spectre of Etruria and the Butcher of Caledonia. Why did you add Raistzenburg to her last name?"

Ben's sisters giggled.

"Because she got married right Uncle Harry?" One of them piped.

Harold smiled at the girl. "Right you are young lady. And yes, Ben, Baroness Kuestoicz von Juurgens-Raistzenburg was known once by all those titles. Her past was... shady to understate it. But think of it from her perspective Ben. Your parents just died in a freak accident that left you these strange, and undoubtedly scary and painful powers. The state, in its glorious wisdom, puts you in a plastic box and does everything short of dissecting you to figure out how to harness your powers. What would YOU do to escape that life?"

"Anything I suppose..." Ben said softly.

Harold nodded. "The young baroness couldn't control her powers as well yet. In order to escape the prison the mages built for her, she had to gather an enormous amount of power. She couldn't channel that power as well as she wanted. As a result, the entire village her prison was built under got vaporized."

The girls gasped.

"The baroness at this point was only twelve years old. Young, homeless, and a wanted fugitive and science experiment... she had no other recourse..."

* * *

_Etruria, 3 years prior to Eliwood's arrival in Silent Springs._

Pent, Count of Reglay surveyed the destruction. He warned this would happen. Despite the power that girl held, she was still human, still a child. Putting her in a plastic cage and experimenting on her as if she were a simple lab monkey was cruel and inhumane. The sanest of grown men would've degenerated into psychosis, much less a small child.

"Lord Pent!" One of the mages called. "Your orders?"

Pent looked around. The entire village was vaporized. Nothing left. Pent doubted even the Archsage Athos in his prime would've been able to produce such destructive magic.

"There's nothing left here." Pent said. "Send a report to the capital."

"What of Subject Zero?"

Pent shook his head. "We have no witnesses to tell us where Subject Zero could have gone. Not only that, in her current state, Subject Zero is unstable, irrational. Pursuing and confronting Subject Zero at this point is not only impossible, but also inadvisable if we desire to remain living. Warn the other Generals to stay on alert... and pray to Elimine that we haven't damaged the girl beyond repair."

The mage saluted and hurried off to deliver Pent's orders. Pent sighed and looked up to the sky. It's been four years since Lord Kuestoicz von Juurgens and his wife perished. Pent wanted to take their daughter into his custody and raise her as a normal girl while slowly developing her abilities. But the bureaucrats within the council smelled promotions and political gain. They convinced the crown that the girl's powers needed to be harnessed as quickly as possible. They turned little Kini, a scared girl who just lost her parents... into Subject Zero.

They were all fools.

* * *

_Silent Springs, Modern Day_

"Where did she go Uncle Harry?" Sophie asked.

"Lord Pent spared no expense in searching for the young baroness." Harold said. "And she certainly left a trail..."

* * *

_Etruria, 2 months after the escape of Subject Zero_

Normal little girls spent their days out playing in the fields, looking shyly at cute little boys, and combing their hair with their mothers.

Kini was not a normal little girl. She knew that since birth. Her parents were famous. She was nobility. Her life was to be more structured and more privileged that most.

Then it all changed. Now her life was a living hell.

Unfortunately despite being turned into a magical anomaly, Kini still required nourishment. With the Etrurian Council's nationwide manhunt for her, she couldn't exactly go to the nearest tavern and apply to be a barmaid. Fortunately for her, there were... people who paid well to do jobs that were... less than legal, meaning they don't care who you are, as long as you got the job done.

Three brigands, a mage and a pegasus knight. Kini drew her daggers. Her powers were still unstable. While she improved on controlling her powers, she preferred to keep things... simple unless absolutely necessary.

The brigands charged her blindly. Kini skillfully dodged their attacks and sliced her daggers across their unshielded bodies.

'Too easy...' the girl thought.

Suddenly a bolt of lightning struck her dead on, staggering and disorienting her. Behind her, Kini could hear the wings of a pegasus rapidly closing on her. She cleared her head. The mage was chanting again. Kini's reflexes kicked in as she rolled to her side, narrowly dodging another lightning bolt. Using her speed, she quickly closed ranks with the mage, glimpsing a momentary fear in the man's eyes before her daggers opened his carotid arteries.

One left. She vaguely remembered the pegasus knight that was behind her. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her right shoulder. She looked down to see the tip of a spear protruding from her body. She fell, her body numb with shock.

She looked up at the pegasus rider. The woman had dismounted. She was pretty, if not for the sneer on her face and a scar across her brow. Kini watched the woman raise a spear over her head.

Then pain. Pure... white hot pain.

When Kini came to, she found her self lying next to a petite smoking body.

Kini rolled over, and quickly emptied the contents of her stomach.

* * *

_Modern Day Silent Springs_

"Kini the Mercenary quickly gained a reputation as efficient and brutal. She worked alone, worked quickly, and disappeared once she got paid. Try as he might, Pent could not track her down. She knew the Mage General of Etruria was looking for her, and she knew eventually, he might get lucky..."

* * *

_Caledonina, 1.5 years after the escape of Subject Zero_

The lights in the windows were slowly flickering out one by one. Another nameless sleepy town in Caledonia. Kini made it a point to avoid contact with any of the locals during her casing of the village. It was better that way. She wouldn't have the heart or the stomach to do her job otherwise.

The warlord paid well, but his jobs were taxing on the soul. Luckily a small prison cell in Etruria had already spent four years shredding her soul. Kini glanced at the moon in the sky. It was time.

Converting the matter of her body into pure magical energy is and has always been excruciating. It doesn't get easier from one try to the next. Her only consolation was that it hurt less than the torture she suffered at the hands of Etrurian mage researchers.

Kini never knew how to explain the feeling of being a pure energy being. She supposed it depended on what form of magic she decided to take. Despite the painful transformation, the feeling of being pure magic was... liberating.

It was over before it started. Five seconds later, Kini felt the familiar pain of her joints and muscles reforming themselves. She opened her eyes to a scorched landscape. Nothing left standing. Nothing...left alive.

She looked down at a list and crossed out another name.

Price per village? 1000 gold.

Cost on her soul? Priceless.

There are some things that money just can't buy.

* * *

_Modern Day_

"The Butcher of Caledonia destroyed fifteen villages. The man she worked for was eventually caught and hanged for his crimes, but because the Baroness was a closely guarded secret, no official papers would link her to the destruction..."

"Uncle Harry..." Sophie said from her position in Loretta's lap. The girls had climbed onto their grandmother during some of the... scarier parts of the story. "Didn't you say she was a hero?"

"I was getting to that!" Harold said. "Even heroes can have bad pasts. Now, by this point, all people outside the upper levels of the Etrurian government knew of the Baroness were just rumors. But people believed those rumors, and some of them were probably true. She knew she had to move on... and that's when she happened across our little town..."

* * *

_Silent Springs,4 months prior to Jessica's arrival._

Her transformations still hurt, but she has since trained herself to ignore the pain. She has full control now. She can choose her form, stay in her form indefinitely... even convert those in direct contact with her into a magical form.

She liked the solitude of the high mountains... plus it's hard to track a person who's a bolt of lightning jumping between rain clouds.

"OW!"

...wait... did that cloud just talk?

"What's wrong?"

"I just got hit by a bolt of lightning."

"You're a cloud... it comes with the territory"

...wait, are two clouds having a conversation?

"No, I'm telling you brother, this one was different."

"Right... I'll just... whoa..."

Kini realized her mistake.

"Now a lightning bolt frozen in mid air...that's not something you see often."

Kini sighed and blasted into the ground, changing back into her normal form.

"Well I'll be, it's a girl."

"Not just any girl, I do believe we are in the presence of the infamous Etruria Subject Zero."

Kini looked up at the clouds. Clearly she was drunk... or dreaming... or both, but it's been a long time since someone's referred to her as Subject Zero.

"How do you know about my code name?"

The clouds raised a little.

"Name's Clide." The left one said. Or was it the right one? Kini shook her head and reminded herself she was just hallucinating. "This is my brother Clive. We're uhh... 500 year old twin brothers who were cursed into storm clouds."

"That's a... very oddly specific curse." Kini said.

"Magic is weird." The one called Clive said... or was it Clide? Kini mentally slapped herself again. "But, being a sentient cloud has its advantages. When you were... reborn I should say, it produced a large magical imbalance in the world. We sensed it and investigated. Ohh, some of the things those mages did to you? Horrible."

"I'm touched for your concern." Kini said. "Now since I'm clearly going insane, I'll just lie down by that tree there and hope I wake up soo-"

"CHARLIE! HURRY UP!"

Kini jumped at the voice and quickly drew her daggers. One of the talking clouds quickly floated down and blocked her vision.

"Calm down there skipper." The cloud... Clide? Kini was going crazy. She was sure of it. "They're just two local kids."

"...Kids?"

"Yes." Clide said. "What you were... well, still are, assuming you're not all paranoia and murder."

Kini relaxed and sheathed her dagger. She watched as a girl, around her age with long black hair skipped up the road munching on some sort of... stick like thing. Kini tried to make herself scarce, but the cloud decided to choose this time to float back into the sky. She was quickly spotted. Kini tightened the grip on her daggers again... just in case.

"HIII!"

"...Hi?"

"I'M KIYOKO! WHAT"S YOU'RE NAME?"

This girl was energetic. "Ki-...err... Isabel?"

"HI ISABEL!" Kiyoko said cheerfully. "Want some pocky?"

"What's... pocky?"

The girl looked like she just got shot with an arrow. She quickly took out a red box full of the same stick like concoction she was eating earlier.

"This is pocky!" Kiyoko said. "Try one!"

Kini took one of the sticks out. It was covered in chocolate. She bit into one and chewed slowly.

"This is good!" Kini said.

"I know right? Here, take this." Kiyoko said, handing the box to her. "I'll just have my brother buy me more. Okay I gotta go bye!"

"By...e?" Kini said. She watched the girl go off, a light flush on her face. It was the first time she's talked to someone her age in a long time... and it was the first time in a long while she spoke so freely.

"Oh, hello there."

Kini turned around and eeped. A tall man stood in front of her.

"Ooh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Have you seen my sister come by here?"

Kini nodded mutely and pointed up the path.

"Okay, thanks!" The man said. "Oh, and if you're lost, there's a town back the way I came from. There's an inn there that my family owns."

"What makes you think I'm lost?"

The man laughed. "Tourist season just ended. There's all of 30 people living up here. Since I know all of them and I don't recognize you, then you're clearly not a local."

"How do you know I'm not a new... local?" Kini snapped.

The man raised his hands in retreat. "Whoa, didn't mean to offend. Anyways, if you DO need a place to crash, go to the inn. Just tell them Charlie sent you. It's free, as an apology for my rudeness today."

Kini didn't know what to say so she nodded mutely.

"Alright, see you around."

The man who was apparently named Charlie turned to go.

"Wait!" Kini called out before she realized what she was doing.

"Yes?" Charlie turned

"Your sister...she's very nice... and loud."

Charlie laughed. "She can be a handful, but we love her just the same."

* * *

_Modern Day_

"And for the next four months, the Baroness found herself fascinated by the innkeeper and his sister. Now, the innkeeper was a close friend of the talking clouds, Clide and Clive. He soon realized that the Baroness was indeed Subject Zero. Now, the innkeeper, Charlie, was also quite notorious."

Ben's eyes widened. "Wait, is he the Charlie who-"

Harold shushed the boy. "Ahh, no spoilers for your sisters, not all of us have the advantage of public school son. Now, as you know, that was the year Lord Elbert died and Lord Eliwood took charge of a mercenary army to defeat the evil Nergal from releasing dragons into the world and burning the world. At the head of his army was a woman named Jessica. After witnessing several infighting among the troops, Jessica decided it was time to give everyone cabin fever... or something. Nobody quite understands her logic, but the army found themselves freezing their behinds off here. And keep in mind, this was a time before heaters and TV."

The children gasped.

"Now, the Baroness had been running a few errands for Charlie. In return, he was helping her understand how to interact with normal people... or so the story goes."

"DID THEY GET MARRIED?" One of the girls asked.

"Not so fast there honey!" Harold said. "One night, right after the seventh day of Lord Eliwood's stay... a terrible thing happened. Nergal discovered where Lord Eliwood was staying... and he sent morphs to attack them."

"morphs?" Clarissa asked.

"They're evil monsters that bad wizards make," Harold explained. "By taking the life force of a good person and twisting it into something evil. It was during the night of the annual Winter Ball, like the one you girls are attending this weekend. They've been having those since way back when. But on that night, it would be a ball nobody would forget..."

* * *

_Present Day-_

_Day 7, evening. Silent Springs Winter Ball_

"OW!"

Serra groaned in frustration. "Somebody hold him still." She barked.

Hector reached over and firmly held the writhing young man in place. Serra grunted in gratitude and resumed her work, moving her hands up Guy's side.

"Does it hurt here?" Serra asked as she prodded along his rib cage.

"OW!"

Serra stepped back. "I'll take that as a yes. Well, you have 3 cracked ribs and a dislocated shoulder. Nothing a few blasts with a heal staff and some rest can't fix. Priscilla's getting a heal staff from the store right now. After she's done healing you, I'll pop your shoulders back in place."

"So he'll be fine?" Hector asked.

"He'll be fine." Serra said.

Hector nodded curtly before turning his attention to where Lyn was cleaning up Heath's scratches. Beside her, Eliwood and the new guy, apparently one of his dad's knights, was talking urgently in low tones. The party was winding down, but Glenn was informed of the dangers and most of the locals were herded into the school's basement. A few who could fight remained behind.

"So what are we dealing with here?" Glenn, the old teacher asked as Hector approached Heath and the new guy.

"I don't know." Hector said. "But they came back pretty banged up, Heath mentioned morphs, and your innkeeper is still missing."

"He can take care of himself. I have the women and the children in the basement."

Hector nodded. "Jessica and Merlinus are retrieving our arms. We'll let you know if anything happens. Hopefully none of the civilians need to be involved."

Glenn nodded and headed off to check the fortifications. Priscilla came by and started blasting Guy with healing energies. Hector sighed. Nobody assembled here was used to fighting during a blizzard while hindered by 3 feet of snow.

Hector felt a tap on his shoulder, bringing his thoughts back to himself. He looked over to find Lyn giving her Mani Katti a few practice swings.

"Jessica's back."

"I can see that. Did Heath say anything to you?"

Lyn shook her head.

"Not much." She said. "The new man they found, Harken I believe was his name, is the only survivor out of the knights who accompanied Lord Elbert. He and the innkeeper were ambushed up the mountain by an army of Morphs. Charlie went up the mountain as a diversion. Harken came back to warn us."

"How long do we have?" Hector asked.

"I don't know." Lyn shrugged. "Depends on how much time Charlie bought for us."

"Hopefully he's fine... are all the civilians safely sequestered? Including those who haven't come?"

"Jessica and Merlinus picked up the woman who recently gave birth and her newborn. That librarian was already missing, but Glenn assures us he can take care of himself. Other than that, everyone's here. Jessica, Kent and Oswin are currently devising our defensive strategy."

"I think it's time for us to go join her." Hector said.

* * *

"Why the hell are we at the library of all places?" Kini asked.

"Because." Charlie said. He did not elaborate further.

The two entered into the deep labyrinths that constituted Kevin the Librarian's lair of sorts. Kini, for a girl with her kind of history, found herself surprisingly frightened by the ominous atmosphere of the building. The hallways were lit with torches... yet she could barely see two feet ahead of her. Frequent blasts of icy wind would fill the hallways occasionally, carrying with them an ominous moan.

A few dozen twists later, Kini was quite certain they where completely lost... before the hallway opened up into a large, lit chamber. The chamber, in stark contrast to the hallways, were warm, well lit, and carried a fresh... floral scent. In the center of the chamber stood a strange, metal device the size of a large wagon. Beside the device, a man wearing flowing robes fussed over a pair of wrenches.

"Kevin." Charlie called simply.

The man banged his head jumping at the sound of Charlie's voice. If it bothered him, he didn't show it as the man's face split into a wide smile.

"Ahh! Charlie! Do you have the vortex core for me?"

Kini now understood why they were at the library as she watched Charlie hand Kevin the box like object she... appropriated for him earlier that night. It was an experimental piece of magi-technology, said to be the key to discovering alternate worlds. It was guarded zealously by Etrurian mages, seeing as the core was made from materials gathered on the Dread Isle, not exactly the most hospitable location to gather materials. Kini had to blow up one or two... or a dozen walls in order to get to it.

Kevin excitedly inserted the core into the machine, causing the once silent device to jump to life with blue lights and rapidly rotating peripheral parts.

"Now, the principle behind the Multi-Phase Dimensional Rift Generator, as I call it, works similarly to the lost magic of the Dragonkin. However, rather than open a gateway to a specific portal in a specific world, the Multi-Phase Dimensional Rift Generator produces a rip in space-time, allowing you to step into another dimension without requiring there to be an exit portal on the other side. Not only that, but this device is also able to transport you into any alternate dimension as you want. Keep in mind though, your body will adjust itself to adhere to the laws of physics and biology governing the world you travel to." Kevin explained as he worked. "You can also harness the energies of the Rift Generator into a single use staff, just in case you want to induce a portal somewhere else."

"...in simpler terms?" Charlie asked.

"Press button, create portal." Kevin said, sighing. "Though now that I actually built a device that would allow us to travel through time and space into any world, any time period, anywhere we want in space and time... I don't know what we're going to do with it. I mean the last time we played with dimensional portals...

* * *

_Tokyo, Japan_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GODZILLA!"

* * *

...I'm pretty sure no good came from it."

Charlie produced a large bag of gold and an ornate glass bottle filled with a deep amber liquid.

"Five thousand gold and my finest scotch says that you never built this thing for me?"

Kevin took the money and the alcohol. "You were never here. I have empty staves in the closet. The instruction manual can show you how to infuse the staves."

With that, Kevin walked out of the room, leaving Charlie alone with his device.

"I'm curious." Kini said after Kevin left. "I know what you're trying to do... I just don't know how you would do it by traveling to other dimensions."

Charlie secured the large hard cover tome that was the instruction manual and smiled at the girl.

"Who said I'm traveling anywhere?"

Kini sighed, she had no idea what this idiot was liable to do.

"Ready to go?"

"Huh?" Kini looked up. "Oh, right, yeah, let's go. You still need to save your friends from Morphs."

"Well, let's go play hero."

* * *

Tacticians are forced to plan battles based on the cards they are dealt. At this point, Jessica despises her hand. The building they were in was a large church hall with one main entrance and a LOT of big windows. The trap door leading to the basement where the civilians is hidden beneath the altar, but since they were being attacked by Morphs who can sense living quintessence, hiding the trap door was useless. To make matters worse, her riders were without their mounts, and while they were all capable fighters unmounted, it still wasn't their specialty.

"We're running out of time Jessica." Hector said. "Matthew reports movement around the building."

Jessica sighed. "So we're stuck without cavalry support in a position that's easily assaulted from multiple sides while confined to a building that has no less than 21 viable entrances. And we're in the process of being surrounded by soulless magical constructs who have no emotional inhibitors programmed to murder any living being they encounter."

"In short... yes." Lyn said. "Did Matthew get a count of their numbers?"

"He counts forty five ready to breech." Hector said. "And that's just the ones he has a visual on. He's almost positive there are more."

"How positive?" Jessica asked.

"He bet three nights on Serra duty."

"That positive huh..." Jessica said. "Well, guess we have no choice. Make a ring around the trap doors. Healers on the inside, followed by archers and mages. Everyone else make a perimeter."

"And the civilian fighters?" Hector asked. "Aside from Kiyoko we have the three sisters, the priest, that crazy girl, Kate, and a guy named Alan."

Jessica shrugged. "Your call Hector."

"But I'm asking you if they would help our efforts or just get in the way."

"They're all tough kids." Jessica said. "It would definitely alleviate the problem of our forces being stretched too thin. Plus they're the only people on this planet who are capable of coping with the freezing cold. They'll probably be more effective than certain people..."

Hector tried really hard to ignore Jessica's sideways glance towards Eliwood.

"I want you and Oswin at the front door. You two should be big enough to block that thing." Jessica continued. "The windows are a bit high up, so they should come in manageable numbers. If everything goes smoothly, we'll all be laughing about this tomorrow morning over coffee."

"Assuming Charlie's alive to serve coffee." Lyn added.

Jessica nodded. "There's that. Keep an eye on the girl. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. If the Morphs do indeed have the innkeeper as a hostage, keep her from doing anything brash."

Lyn acknowledged with a slight nod and disappeared into the crowd. Jessica surveyed the troops as they took battle positions. She said a silent prayer and took her position with the healers over the trap door, keeping a tight grip on a slim sword she took from the supplies just in case...

* * *

Charlie laid flat against the roof of his inn. About half a mile up the road was the church and the Morphs that surrounded it. Using an old spyglass, Charlie started counting the number of adversaries they were up against. Beside him, Kini drew a small diagram of the building in the snow, putting x's where the Morphs set up positions.

Charlie finished his count at 54 and looked over at Kini's diagram.

"Any chance for them to escape from there?"

Kini gave Charlie an exasperated look.

"They're surrounded on three sides by several fortified positions. Even if they break past those fortified positions, the Morphs have archer cover on all major pathways leading away from the church. The final side of the church gives them about 200 feet of deep snow before giving away to a sheer cliff. I suppose if any of them could survive a 3000 foot fall off the cliff they could go that way..."

"No chance of using your abilities here to help them?" Charlie asked.

"Not really." Kini said. "There are too many of them. I'm not invincible during my transformations. In the few seconds it takes for me to change forms, they could easily dislodge my head from my shoulders. The element of surprise no longer an asset when it comes to fighting magical constructs. I could always just... nuke the entire area...if you really wanted me to?"

Charlie shook his head. "Well, guess we're doing this the old fashioned way. Any ideas?"

"Not really." Kini said. She pointed to the large, stained glass windows of the church. "They really couldn't have picked a better building to trap everyone in. There are 10 windows on the side of the church facing us. I assume the other side is symmetrical?"

Charlie nodded.

"That means, including the front door, the morphs have 21 points of entry into that building." Kini continued. "Plus the elevated positions of the windows means that the morphs could put archers or mages in those windows and simply bombard the defenders inside with ranged attacks while the rest of them mount a strong frontal assault."

Charlie looked through his spyglass again, trying to find a way to help. He then noticed the archer nests the morphs set up to cover the escape routes.

"Hey Kini," Charlie said "The archer nests, they're not guarded by anybody."

"Well of course not." Kini said. "They're the rear line artillery. They're protected by the other morphs about to breech the church."

"And that's our way in." Charlie said. "The morphs have built a prison, designed to keep their captives inside their line of defense. All their fortifications, their archer cover, their defensive units are in position to hold off anybody trying to mount an attack from within the church..."

"But..." Kini said, picking up on Charlie's thread of thinking. "What they're not expecting is an attack from outside. Which means if we move fast, we can hit their archers before they know what was happening."

"A prison is designed to let people in and keep them from getting out." Charlie said, standing up. He checked his weapons. "The problem with imitating a prison on the battlefield is that you should never _let_ your opponent do anything."

* * *

As a child, Matthew hated heights, so he found it increasingly ironic that his choice of profession places him in precariously high positions way too often. At this moment, Matthew found himself not only on a rather unstable roof of a church staring down a siege army of soulless magical constructs, but doing it in a blizzard.

The morphs haven't sensed him. They were attracted to large gatherings of living essence. A lone figure on the roof won't pull their senses as long as there was such a large concentration of living souls. Hector had sent him up to size up their enemies. Unfortunately, Matthew realized that his earlier count of the enemy forces was inaccurate. From his high vantage point, in addition to the 45 morphs about to breech the church, Matthew could see three groups of three fortified in high positions. Archers, ready to pick off any runners.

That put his count up to 54... no wait.. 56. There were two runners headed towards one of the archer nests, no doubt relaying information between the nests and the main assault force. Matthew fingered his little dart shooter and played with the idea of cutting off the information line, but he doubt his shooter had the reach to kill the runners.

Matthew followed the runners through his spyglass as they reached the nest. Nothing to be done about that yet. He turned his attention back on the main force. They were dividing themselves into three forces, taking advantage of the church's windows. Most of the heavier fighters were assembled in front of the door. Mages and archers lined the sides by the windows along with a few swordmasters. It was a deadly combination. Let the more agile fighters and long range support flank the sides while the heavy hitters break the door down.

Matthew noticed one general in the back directing traffic. That one must be the leader. Matthew watched as it calmly gave orders to another morph... and watched as the morph ran off towards the archer nests.

Odd... another runner? Matthew trained his spyglass on the nest the earlier runners visited. The nest was still there... but it was empty. Matthew frowned and followed the paths until he reached the second nest. It too was empty.

Matthew lowered the spyglass and tried to observe the winding mountain paths through the blizzard. He could see no movement up and down the paths except for the lone runner that was just sent up. He frowned and focused in on his spyglass once again, trying to find the original two runners.

He found them just outside the third nest...

* * *

Charlie motioned Kini forward as they approached the rear of the nest. They had to act fast. Despite the large concentration of living souls within the church, it wouldn't take long for the morphs within the nest to sense their presence if they loiter too long.

"How do you want to do it?" Kini whispered.

Charlie looked down at the sizable force surrounding the church. He doubt the two of them could take all of them on without help.

"Burn it..." Charlie said.

"You sure? They'll be onto us pretty quick if we start blowing things up."

Charlie nodded.

"We'll just hope somebody inside is watching."

* * *

Matthew's training in discipline kept him from falling off the roof in surprise when the third nest went up in flames. The two figures he had earlier presumed to be morph runners were now sprinting down the snowy paths towards the actual morph runner. Matthew saw the flash of a sword and morph crumpled into nothingness. Below him, the general, while still maintaining a eerie calmness, quickly began diverting his forces from what seems to be an outside attack.

Matthew packed up his gear and quickly headed back down the roof access hatch into the main church. The access way took him to a small maintenance path above the altar. Deciding to forgo the long maze of stairs that would lead him down safely, Matthew closed his eyes and jumped over the railing, trusting his training to keep him from killing himself.

Jessica jumped loudly when Matthew hit the ground in front of her. Fortunately for him, she was a lousy swordsman, otherwise she would've cleaved him in half.

"DON'T DO THAT!" Jessica yelled.

"Sorry!" Matthew said, getting up slowly. "But something's happening outside."

"What? What's happening?" Jessica asked, her annoyance set aside.

"Someone's hitting the morphs from behind. The leader's in scramble mode now. They're not sure what's going on."

Jessica took the information in. "Well, what is going on?"

"There were two of them. They burned an archer nest and took out a runner. I don't know if they're any more of them, but they look to be working alone."

"Must be the innkeeper..." Jessica said. "You say the morph general is scrambling?"

"Yeah." Matthew said. "They have no idea who's hitting them. That confusion won't last long though. If it's really just the innkeeper and his unknown friend, they'll be torn apart pretty quickly."

"No... but we won't let that happen." Jessica said. She turned towards her tactical map of the battlefield...and made a decision.

"ALRIGHT LISTEN UP!" Jessica yelled, drawing everyone's attention in. "Charlie and his friend have the morphs distracted for now, but they won't fool them for too long. We need to strike now. I want everyone not in plate armor to split into two teams behind Lyn and Eliwood. Mages and archers divide yourself evenly among those teams. Everyone IN plate armor get to the door now. Hector, on my mark, break the door down. At that point, Lyn, Eliwood, you two are going to go out the windows. Archers and mages will then lay down suppressing fire for the rest of you to exit through the windows. You need to work quickly. Take out any ranged units they have. Keep Hector's group safe. Our priority is to link up with Charlie. Is everyone clear?"

A rolling affirmative rolled through the building as everyone split into their respective strike teams. Jessica designated three primary healers and assigned one to each team. Then, drawing her own sword, she took a deep breath... and counted.

"3... 2... 1... MARK!"

* * *

Kini watched the lone scout that Charlie beheaded dissolve into dust. In the distance, the main bulk of the morph force was conducting one of the calmest panic scrambles known to modern warfare. Even in times of distress the morphs show no emotion. Kini wondered if there was a way to create morphs without sacrificing humans... they would make excellent replacements for living soldiers.

"They're going to figure out there's only two of us here." Kini said. "Then they'll kill us, then go right on their merry way to slaughtering your friends."

"You sound awfully calm about that." Charlie remarked.

Kini shrugged. "I assume from your calmness that you have a plan."

"I do..." Charlie said. He looked on as the morph army below them fanned out and began a systematic search. "I just hope we don't die before it takes effect."

Loud, simultaneous crashing sounds cut through the air just as Charlie finished his sentence. The once silent church jumped to life. Various magic attacks and arrow bolts flew out the holes in the broken stained glass windows. The front door burst open and several heavily armored men stormed out. The morph general rapidly signaled to his troops, redirecting their attention to the sudden ambush from the church.

"That's our cue." Charlie said.

He and Kini charged.

* * *

Hector, Oswin and Wallace formed a human battering ram as they used the weight of their armor to break the door of the hinges. Outside, the morphs were scattered, in a typical search formation. Most of their backs were turned. Hector let out a loud roar and began cleaving the dazed and confused morphs into dust.

To the side, Nino stood precariously perched on the frame of the window. She let out several rapid fire spells, slamming the flaming balls into the ground where the morphs stood. The hot fire instantly melted and subsequently boiled the snow, creating a natural smokescreen and causing terrible steam burns to the morphs closest to the impact points. Beside him, Wil strung his bow and took his time aiming at the staggering morphs, picking them off slowly and calmly. Another crash to her right indicated to Nino that Lyn had breached. She drew her thunder tome and began chanting the spell, taking care to aim precisely.

Lyn, Guy and Kent made the initial exit through the right side of the church. Eliwood, Raven and Jaffar took the left. After the immediate area around the church was clear, the entire army flooded out and took on defensive positions around the building. When Jessica surveyed the battlefield, she was pleased to note that the morphs had no archers and only a few mages left. Their initial attack managed to take out nearly all their ranged units. She counted around 32 morphs left. Further up the mountain, she could see signs of another engagement. Charlie and his friend were engaging the morphs. Jessica just hope that she bought them enough time.

"We need to get someone to link up with the innkeeper." Jessica said. "Until we can get a lock on his position, our archers can't lay down blanket suppressing fire."

Matthew handed Jessica his spyglass. She looked through the contraption, making out Charlie and a rather young girl taking on a group of around five morphs. They were about a hundred fifty yards away from their current position.

"They're not too horribly outnumbered. Looks like the morphs aren't taking them too seriously." Jessica said, handing Matthew his spyglass back. "We need to move quickly though. Go with Lyn and tell her to move her group into flanking position on the right. You guys need to start picking off the morphs from the right. The rest of us will lead charge up the middle and keep them occupied."

Matthew nodded and ran off to deliver the orders to Lyn. Jessica looked around and waved Sain and Kent over.

"You two, grab Rebecca and Erk and make sure none of the morphs sneak past our line. We can't have them getting to the civilians. Tell Erk to keep a healing staff on hand."

Sain and Kent saluted without protest and headed off. Jessica herself went to the front where Hector and the front line of the morphs were having a staring contest.

"Ready to smash heads?" Jessica asked.

"Ready on your mark."

In the distance, Jessica saw several spell flashes from the mages in Lyn's group.

"That's our cue." She said. "The front line is three generals, two mages, three swordmasters and a fighter. You and Oswin hit the generals. The archers will take the mages out, and hopefully Eliwood's group can keep the swordmasters from getting to you. Make sure you communicate enemy positions past the front line back."

Hector nodded. Jessica waited for another flash. The leader of the morphs was focusing his attention to the flanking force taking out his units. At that moment, Jessica tapped Hector on the shoulder.

"Go."

Her entire front line charged.

* * *

Charlie dodged the blade of a swordmaster by a mere inch, but it was enough to through the swordmaster's balance off just enough for Kini to leap over and sink her daggers into the morph's chest. One down, four to go. The morphs circled the two, thoroughly surrounding them. Unfortunately, Charlie's plan also drew out the entirety of Eliwood's army into the field. Kini could no longer use her power without the risk of exposing her identity to not only three heads of state within the Lycian League, but also the Mage General of Etruria

"Two to one odds. Not bad." Charlie said. "Despite the handicap."

"I'm capable of fighting." Kini said. "You don't live in the underworld and not know how to handle some kind of blade."

Another morph lunged towards her, slashing a steel sword down towards Kini's head. The girl parried the blade away with one of her daggers then allowed the morph's weight and momentum to bring him past her before stabbing it in the back.

"See?"

"Don't get cocky." Charlie said as he parried a blow. The morphs were attacking in earnest now. "They might actually start taking us seriously."

The pair fell silent as their bodies moved with surgical precision: parry, riposte, thrust, block, slash... every movement calculated... the slightest mistake could mean death. The morphs were relentless, never tiring, never blinking, never relenting. Charlie knew that he had to find an opening or else he and the girl will eventually get tired and make a mistake. He blocked a particularly hard blow, and using his sword as leverage, kicked the morph over his head, dropping it into the snow behind him. Kini quickly stabbed the abomination through the stomach. Three down. Even odds.

Morphs were imperfect creations. Despite their singled minded programming, Charlie knew that they operated following a prescribed method. Regardless of how fiercely the morphs fought, any trained swordsman could spot the predictability of the morph's fencing programming after a few rounds.

Charlie was a trained swordsman. After trading several blows, he noticed the pattern in the morphs attack. He waited for the precise moment, then ducked a vicious side slash from the morph by rolling onto his back. He then shoved his boot into the morph's stomach knocking the creature off balance before getting up and hastily relieving the morph of its head.

After his adversary was eliminated, Charlie took a moment to catch his breath... before a loud shriek reminded him that Kini was NOT a trained swordsman. He turned to see the girl driven into the ground with the morph's blade planted firmly in her shoulder. Without thinking, Charlie picked up his sword and threw it at the morph like a spear. The tip of the blade pierced the morph through the neck and the thing dissolved instantly into dust. Charlie then quickly rushed over to the injured girl, picking her gently off the red stained snow.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Kini nodded weakly. "Pull the blade out."

Charlie examined the blade. "It cut through your artery...if I pull it out, you'll bleed to death in 2 minutes."

"Just do it." Kini said. "I'll be fine."

"But..."

Charlie felt the girl firmly grasp his shoulder. She stared up at him with intense eyes.

"Just. Do. What. I. Am. Asking." Kini said sharply.

Charlie sighed and nodded his head. Laying Kini down, Charlie straddled the girl to keep her still, then with both hands grasping the hilt, he sharply tugged the blade out of her shoulder in one, swift motion. With the blade gone, blood quickly gushed from the wound, running down the girl's side and turning the snow beneath her into a patch of deep red. But before Charlie could comment on that, Kini's body turned into fire in his arms. The man quickly jumped back, releasing the girl. When she reformed, the girl was no longer bleeding. Charlie ran up to her still body and checked for a pulse.

"I told you I'll be fine." Kini said. Charlie looked down to see the girl give him an irritated look. "I can heal just about any wound and replenish my own blood by transforming."

"That is... very cool." Charlie said, awed. "How'd you learn to do that?"

Kini stood up and shrugged bloody flakes of snow off her clothes. "The researchers in Etruria stabbed me."

"They.. stabbed you?"

Kini nodded pointedly. "How else do you learn to heal stab wounds?"

She had a good point Charlie had to admit, but he let the topic slide. After making sure Kini was absolutely fine, the innkeeper gathered his bearings and observed the battlefield. Eliwood's forces had managed to successfully surround what remained of the morphs. Hector was leading the frontal charge, smashing through the front lines as if relishing the chance to crack some abomination heads.

"HECTOR SMASH!"

Okay, maybe Hector was having a little too much fun smashing heads. Charlie decided to ignore that. He looked over to Kini who was staring at a lithe girl cutting her way through the flanks of the morphs alongside a long, green haired swordmaster.

"Yes, that is my sister." Charlie said. He drew his blade. "Come on, let's go join them."

* * *

Guy had to admit, despite Kiyoko's liberal treatment of his personal health, she was a good ally to have on the battlefield. She was skilled, disciplined and professional about her work.

"CHARLIE!"

...that is... Guy realized with a groan... until she got distracted. Her outburst indicated that the innkeeper and his friend had finally linked up with them. Unfortunately this also meant the girl was now fussing over her brother and no longer covering his flank. A soft whooshing noise led Guy to instinctively duck. An ax blade flew through the air that his neck once occupied, missing the top of his head by mere inches. Unfortunately, his long braided hair was not so lucky. Guy found himself the recipient of a new haircut. As he watched his once perfect braids fall in slow motion to the ground to be scattered by the fierce blizzard... something within Guy snapped. Something primal. Everything turned red. Guy looked up. They must all die.

Lyn didn't really know what happened. All she heard was Guy's anguished scream. Then she saw the young man, almost glowing red with rage, charge the morph that had given him an in-field hair cut, tackling it to the ground. With an almight roar, Guy grasped the morph's ax-wielding hand, and literally ripped the limb from it's body.

The next few seconds was a study in the limits of human rage as Guy flew across the battlefield, breaking Jessica's precise formation. Not that it mattered. In the rage he felt for his hair, Guy became unstoppable, wielding the ax that he had appropriated from the morph rather clumsily, Guy smashed his way through the ranks, parrying all attacks with the ax and killing morphs by literally punching a hole through their chest. In on instance, Guy jumped onto a morph's shoulders and ripped the thing's head off with his bare hands.

During the onslaught, Lyn sheathed her blade and walked over to where Guy's chopped off hair lie scattering in the snow. She gathered as much as she could and placed it into a pouch on her belt.

"Lady Lyndis." Charlie bowed. "What happened?"

Lyn shrugged. "His hair got cut."

"You people really take your hair seriously don't you?" Charlie asked. "Well, thanks for keeping my sister alive... sorta..."

Charlie looked over at Kiyoko who was staring unmoving at Guy going on his rampage.

"Charlie..." The girl said.

"Yes?"

"I think I'm in love."

Lyn laughed as Charlie slapped his hand to his forehead.

* * *

_Silent Springs, Modern Day_

"What Baroness Kuestoicz von Juurgens couldn't tell Charlie that day was that she discovered an unfortunate side effect of her powers... one that could prove quite fatal."

"Is she going to die?" Clarissa asked fearfully.

"Oh no, not quite." Harold said, patting the little girl on the head. "We will get to that."

Before he could continue, little Ben tugged on his trousers.

"Wasn't Charlie a bad guy?" Ben asked.

Harold laughed. "Well Ben, it's a lot more complicated than that. Charlie had hired the baroness for a specific job. Now, back then, the baroness, despite her noble status, was still a fugitive."

"But isn't this story about how the baroness saved the world?" Sophie asked from Loretta's lap. "It doesn't sound like she did anything."

Harold chuckled again. "This is just the beginning my dear. The story of how the baroness saved the world must be told through the story of Lord Eliwood's stay in this beautiful city... of the events Charlie set in motion during those seven days when the baroness and Lord Eliwood were both in the same town."

"But you said the baroness worked for Charlie." Sophie pointed out.

"I did. Like I said, it's a long story..."

* * *

_Present Day_

_12:05 AM, Day 8_

"Pent?" Louise said after her husband had failed to follow her up the stairs to their room. "My husband, are you coming up?"

Pent smiled at his wife. "In a minute love, I have to clear a few things with the innkeeper."

Louise nodded sleepily and turned back up the stairs. "Don't be too long now."

"I won't."

After his wife had disappeared up the stairs, Pent walked towards to the bar and poured himself a drink. Everyone else had gone to bed... including Charlie's new friend.

"You know you're not supposed to go behind the bar right?"

Pent tilted his glass back and downed the rest of his scotch.

"I know."

Charlie walked behind the bar and started cleaning Pent's new glass.

"It's late... go to sleep." Charlie said.

"Not yet." Pent said. "Pour me another. Pour yourself one too."

Charlie sighed and poured two glasses of scotch. He set one down before Pent who took a sip of his drink. He left his untouched.

"Did you guys figure out what happened to that swordmaster of yours?" Charlie asked casually.

"Serra said that it was an uncontrollable release of adrenaline triggered by a single event of abnormally high emotional stress." Pent said, taking another drink. "Apparently he's more emotionally attached to his hair than anyone could imagine."

"I'll say." Charlie said. He poured Pent another glass. "So, I take it you're here to have an awkward conversation with me."

Pent peered at Charlie over the top of his glass. "It depends."

He downed his drink.

"Lord Edmund Kuestoicz von Juurgens was a dear friend of mine." Pent said. "News of his passing all these years ago I'm sure reached even places as remote as this town. Though you were just a child, I'm sure you have heard of it?"

Charlie nodded. "But you're not here to talk about Baron Kuestoicz von Juurgens."

"No I am not." Pent said. He glared up at Charlie. "Three years ago..."

"Three years ago a small village in Etruria was instantaneously vaporized by a large concentration in magical energies." Charlie continued for Pent. "The government in Etruria blamed it on a high risk mental institute patient they called 'Subject Zero.' She was later branded as a fugitive, wanted dead or alive. I wrote a paper on the incident."

"So you are familiar with Subject Zero?" Pent said.

"Subject Zero was indeed a 'patient' if you could call her that." Charlie supplied. "Through an overload of magical energies, her body's physical structure is able to convert itself between its regular form and a form of pure magical energy. An elite Etrurian mage team was assigned the task of figuring out how to harness the her powers, or perhaps find a way to infuse her powers into other people."

Pent almost hung his head in shame. He could see the indignant glare in Charlie's eyes. Though Pent himself was not involved in authorizing the Subject Zero project, he belonged to the same circles as the ilk who gained power and influence through the Subject Zero tests.

"You realize that because of what they did to her, because they labeled her Subject Zero, your government never vacated her father's barony? If she goes back to Etruria, she still have claims to her father's lands and titles." Charlie continued. He stopped washing the glasses and looked up at the Mage generals, his eyes filled with a cold indignity. "Unfortunately, I've also done my research. The current line the Council is feeding everyone is that the Lady Kini Isabel Victoire Regina Kuestoicz von Juurgens is sequestered in a care facility within her father's castle, comatose as a result of her accident. If she goes back to her homeland after all that your people have done to her, she would get no apologies... just a public execution if she is lucky... or if she is unlucky, you will lock her right back up and continue your experiments on her."

Pent took Charlie's words in stride. The innkeeper did not raise his voice. He didn't need to. The Subject Zero experiments were a stain on human dignity.

"You know what she's done since gaining freedom. You know how she gained her freedom." Pent said. "She needs to face the consequences of her actions."

"You say that like she had a choice." Charlie said, almost mockingly. "What was she supposed to do? File for an appeal with the Etrurian high court? Apply for a desk job at your local rent-a-horse? Be one of those waitresses at Bosoms working her way through university?"

Pent struggled with his drink.

"Of course..." Charlie continued. "Should you invoke your authority as both the Count of Reglay and the Mage General of Etruria, I would have no choice but to turn her over... or join her as a fugitive."

Pent shook his head. "You've pointed out enough of my people's sins. I will not add to that burden."

Pent finished his drink and handed Charlie the glass.

"I've been tracking the girl for three years now," Pent said, standing up. "Trying to fulfill a promise to an old friend. It wouldn't do to find her only to break my promise now would it?"

With that Pent left the bar with a swish of his cape and headed for the stairs. "As a child, she adored thinly sliced fried potatoes with hot peppers. See to it she gets plenty while under your care."

Charlie nodded and watched Pent disappear up the stairs. The innkeeper let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. While his concerns for the girl's safety were genuine, Charlie's near psychotic desire to keep the Mage General from dragging the girl off were much more pragmatic. He looked around the old Inn. He wouldn't see too much of it in the coming days. In fact, he was pretty sure after he left tonight, it would take an act of God for him to see his inn ever again.

Putting on his cloak, Charlie locked up his bar for one last time.

* * *

Erk: Twenty five pages.

Me: It took me 3 days to write this monstrosity.

Erk: Where the hell did you get that name?

Me: I hit random keys.

Erk: Can you even keep track of all the side plots you have going?

Me: Nope! That's what makes it fun.


	47. Event Horizon

Erk: Happy Veteran's Day?

Charlie: Indeed. I keep forgetting I don't have class today.

Erk: You're gonna get sidetracked with Black Ops and stuff. You're never gonna finish today.

Charlie: I don't want to finish today. I just want to start today. TODAY IS A DAY OF STARTING.

Erk: Then start your damn homework.

Charlie: Shush.

* * *

**Chapter 47**

**Event Horizon**

Adrenaline is a funny substance. While Charlie was staring at the prospect of having to fight over 45 soulless killing machines with only one person backing him up, he felt sharp, weightless. His limbs moved effortlessly as they manipulated his sword with the precision of a master artist.

Now that the rush was over, the mere act of opening his front door made his muscles cry out in agony. Only the prospect of a warm bed and heavy blankets kept him from collapsing on the doorstep. The fact that his clothing was caked in dried blood helped.

"Welcome home."

"WHA!" Charlie jumped. He certainly didn't expect anybody to greet him. He turned around to see Kini calmly sipping a glass of scotch in front of his fireplace.

"Why is everyone drinking my scotch without permission today?" Charlie asked as he took off his overcoat. "And why are you here? You have to be at the inn tomorrow morning at sunrise."

"And I'll be there." Kini said. "But first I have a few questions about my... new identity as you have created for me."

Charlie shrugged off his scarf and jacket. "What about your new identity?"

Kini sighed and threw the parchments onto the table in front of her. "Kini Raistzenburg? Really?"

"I think it suits you." Charlie said with a small smile.

"That's not the point!" Kini screeched. "Kini is the name of a mass murderer AND a supposedly comatose heiress to the Barony of Staltzburg."

"Yeah, I never understood how that worked." Charlie said. "As far as I know, the Etrurian ruling council denies that baroness you is... well, mass murderer you."

"They call it a coincidence." Kini said. "That's not the point! The point is you didn't change my first name, a name that is actually ILLEGAL to speak out loud in three Etrurian provinces."

"It's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Kini yelled. "You also had to give me the last name Raistzenburg? Really? Kini Raistzenburg? Really Charlie? People are going to TALK Charlie."

"It's a common enough name..." Charlie said.

"No it's not." Kini said. "I've checked. Plus you failed to mention that the MAGE GENERAL OF ETRURIA was staying at your inn."

"Ahh yes." Charlie said. He took off his sweater. "That was a miscalculation on my part. However, Lord Pent was good friends with your father..."

"And the fact that you know that means he's already identified me." Kini said. "I can't go back Charlie."

"And you won't." Charlie said. He took off his thick outer pants. "We've had a chat."

"Oh, I'm glad you two had a nice little chat about the infamous Subject Zero who he's been hunting for over three yea-..." Kini stopped short when she realized what Charlie was doing. "Could you please stop that? I can't argue with you when you're taking off your clothes."

Charlie stripped out of his shirt. "Yeah... my clothing is soaked in blood... sweat... and other unmentionable...morph-y substances. You're in MY house. I'm going to make myself comfortable. However uncomfortable that makes you is not really my problem."

Kini sighed and finished her drink. "Clearly you take the issue of hiring mass murders very lightly."

"That's because there are many forms of evil in the world," Charlie said, stripping down to his underwear. "I find your brand of evil far more tolerable."

"...My brand of evil is more tolerable?" Kini said while looking away from the half-naked innkeeper. "I hate to imagine what brand of evil you find intolerable."

Charlie walked over and collected Kini's glass.

"The brand of evil that turned you into Subject Zero." Charlie said calmly. Kini nodded dumbly at his words. She sat back and looked around Charlie's living room. The walls were mostly bare. The tables and chairs were placed practically; it was clearly a man's house... except for the stuffed rainbow unicorn on one of the seats.

"Nice unicorn." Kini said with a smirk.

"Not mine." Charlie called from the kitchen. "That's Kiyoko's."

"Sure." Kini mocked. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"No, I'm serious." Charlie said. Kini was surprised to note a tone of panic in his voice. "We need to get that to her before..."

"CHAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Charlie sighed. "That happens."

Kini didn't have time to react before the door burst down and a small blob shot into the house to latch itself onto Charlie.

"CHARLIE! I CAN'T FIND CURTIS!" Kiyoko cried.

"Curtis?" Kini asked.

If Kiyoko found it strange that her brother would have another girl in his house past midnight, she didn't show it. Instead, she continued to sob and screech at the top of her lungs.

"CURTIS BOBBERT THE THREE AND THREE QUARTERS!" Kiyoko said through her tears. "HE'S MISSING! I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT HIM!"

Charlie pried the hysterical girl off his waist and gave Kini a very urgent look. Kini quickly picked up on the cue and grabbed the rainbow unicorn.

"CURTIS!" Kiyoko cried when she saw her stuffed toy. She quickly grabbed it from Kini and squeezed it to her chest.

"Hey! I know you!" Kiyoko said when she looked up at Kini's face. "I gave you pocky once!"

"Yeah!" Kini said. "It was good!"

"Yay!" Kiyoko squealed. She let out a very big yawn and snuggled herself into her brother's shoulder.

"Oh no..." Charlie muttered.

Kini tilted her head. "What's wrong?"

Charlie sighed. "She's asleep."

Kini looked over and saw that Kiyoko was indeed fast asleep. She looked adorable.

"Awwww..." Kini squealed. "She's so cute!"

"She's... also... cutting off... circulation." Charlie gasped. Kini helped him carry Kiyoko to his spare bed and tucked her in.

"I'm sorry..." Kini said after a moment. "I have to ask. Curtis Bobbert the Three and Three Quarters?"

"Her dad's name was Robert." Charlie said. "She never quite grasped that Bob was short for Robert. She thought Bob was short for... ...well, Bobbert."

"I was talking more about the whole name..." Kini said. "But that's good to know... I suppose."

"Sometimes with her, it's just better not to ask." Charlie said, shrugging. "Now, I have to take a bath and go to bed. Unless you want to help me bathe..."

Kini flushed and quickly began buttoning up her heavy coat.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" Kini huffed before slamming the door shut.

Charlie laughed lightly. He started boiling water and preparing his bath. When it was ready, he sank into the hot water, feeling the knots in his muscles finally begin to unwind.

* * *

Legault learned early that living life in the shadows meant you never slept easily, even after leaving the shadows. On average, Legault would wake 3 to 4 times over a course of a night, and no matter when he slept, he would always wake ten minutes before sunrise. It was unfortunate, but he's made his peace with his fate a long time ago. Surely Matthew and Jaffar have their own issues as well.

Eliwood was still snoring when Legault bundled himself in a heavy jacket and padded silently out their room. Sure enough, he found Matthew doing pushups in the hallway.

"Morning." Legault said. "Push ups in the hallway?"

"Jaffar's being exceptionally difficult." Matthew said.

"How so? I know he sleeps standing up right?"

"Standing up with his daggers drawn." Matthew corrected. "He was chucking them this morning. Jessica's lucky she didn't decide to bunk him with someone who wasn't a spy. We'd be burying a body right now."

Legault nodded and walked around Matthew to the stairs. Charlie usually came in a few minutes after sunrise to setup. The good part about not being able to sleep? Legault always got first pick for breakfast.

To his surprise, Legault walked down to the lobby to find an young girl standing behind the bar. On the counter, a plate of his favorite fruits and baked goods sat next to a cup of coffee.

"Morning!" The girl said cheerfully. "Charlie said you were always early so I took the liberty to prepare your favorite!"

Legault dumbly sat down at the bar and pulled the plate towards him.

"Uhh... thanks?" He said. "I'm sorry, I'm confused. You were that girl with Charlie last night right? I'm Legault."

"Oh I know." Kini said. "Charlie filled me in on everyone. I'm Kini, Kini Raistzenburg. Charlie's going out of town so he hired me to look after his inn."

"He didn't mention anything about leaving town." Legault said, picking up his fork and picking through the fruit. "Was it a sudden decision?"

"Yes it was." Kini said. "Apparently one of his relatives is gravely ill. He's gone to see them and should the worse come to pass, prepare arrangements."

"Ahh..." Legault said. "My condolences. ...I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?"

Kini gulped. "Kini Raistzenburg."

Legault stopped.

"That's a name with a rather torrid history." He said. "No doubt you are aware?"

"I unfortunately am." Kini said sadly. "My parents were fans of the late Lord Edmund Kuestoicz von Juurgens. When they heard that her daughter went comatose, they renamed me in her honor."

"And you are aware that Etruria's Subject Zero also calls herself Kini right?" Legault said.

"Yes, but I have no idea why." Kini said.

"They say that Subject Zero is actually the daughter of Lord Kuestoicz von Jurrgens." Legault continued, spearing a piece of fruit with his fork. "That the Etrurian government is covering something up... something horrible."

"I am aware of the rumors my lord." Kini said respectfully. "But unfortunately I am not in control of other people's actions any more than I am in control of what they are named."

Legault put the piece of fruit into his mouth and chewed. He regarded the girl. There was something familiar about her face... something he's seen before in one of Nergal's dossiers before he left.

"Very well." Legault said after he finished chewing. "I apologize for bringing up such unpleasantries."

"On no my lord." Kini said. "Is there anything else you would like?"

"I'm fine." Legault said. "Thank you. There are more important people than I up and about now. Thank you for the breakfast though."

Kini nodded before turning her attention to the stairs. There she found the Princess of Caelin walking towards her, yawning. As with Legault, Lyn seemed to instantly sober up and stopped in shock when she saw Kini.

"Hullo." Lyn said after she gathered himself. "I'm..."

"I know who you are my lady." Kini said bowing respectfully. "It's an honor."

"Oh please." Lyn said. "Just call me Lyn. You were with Charlie last night correct?"

"Yes." Kini said. "He's going out of town for a bit to care after some sick relatives. I'm here to look after the inn for him."

"Well I wish him well." Lyn said. "In any case, I'm sure his establishment is in good hands Miss..."

"Kini." Kini said. "Kini Raistzenburg."

"Raistzenburg..." Lyn paused. "Huh, well, in any case, good to meet you. I trust the normal breakfast buffet will be ready at its usual time?"

"It is ready now." Kini said. She pointed over to where various fruits and breads were placed out. "Charlie mentioned some of you rise early, so I came in before hand to prepare everything."

Lyn raised an eyebrow. "Well, I sure hope Charlie would consider hiring you permanently."

The early morning passed without further incidence. Most people were filled in on who she was by each other and asked very few questions. They were mostly Lycians, the fact that Subject Zero shared a name with a comatose Etrurian baroness was a closely guarded secret. It didn't hurt that most of the locals were scared to utter the name Kini. The name was a curse. One was comatose; the other, a mass murderer. So Kini went about her work, hoping to remain anonymous... at least until she came face to face with Count Reglay, Mage General of Etruria...

Hector was a late riser. Jessica, Lyn and Eliwood sat around a table sipping morning drinks while they waited for him. Despite this little vacation, their last encounter was a stark reminder that Nergal still lurked out there somewhere. Now he know where they were. It was time to make a decision.

Slowly, the town was beginning to come to life. Most of the army was up and about. Most of the town's residents were out and about as well. The morphs and the battle caused quite a bit of damage to the town, and especially the church. With only so few people in town, it was necessary for everyone to pitch in. Jessica was pleased to note that everyone within her army was also willing to help.

"Where the hell is Hector?" Lyn huffed. "I even saw Vaida a few moments ago."

"She's a soldier." Jessica shrugged. "Why do you sound so angry?"

"She's jealous of how good Vaida looks now that she has hair." Eliwood smirked. Lyn promptly smacked him upside the head.

"I just want to get my daily workout in before Lunch." Lyn said. "Plus I promised Sonia I would help her pick up some shipments."

"Hold your horses." Jessica admonished. "Here he comes."

Sure enough, Hector was slowly lumbering towards the group. He gave one confused glance towards the bar where the new girl was charming Merlinus and Marcus.

"Who's the new girl?" Hector asked as he arrived at the table.

"New innkeeper." Lyn said. "Her name's Kini Raistzenburg."

"Really?" Hector said, sobering up instantly. "Kini Raistzenburg? Did Charlie ever mention that he..."

"No." Lyn said. "She's a recent development."

"Interesting..." Hector said. He watched as the doors of the inn banged open and Kiyoko rushed in, looking flustered.

"CHARLIE?"

Kini rushed over to the girl and tried frantically to calm her down.

"Charlie's not here." Kini said. She handed Kiyoko a box of pocky. "Here, he gave me the key to his stash."

Kiyoko calmed down and happily began munching her snack. "Yay! Hey! I remember you! You were at his house last night around midnight helping him take a bath!"

You could hear a pin drop as the entire inn fell silent and stared over. Kini's face turned beet red and she flailed her arms around trying to silence Kiyoko.

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" She screeched. "I WAS JUST ASKING HIM HOW TO RUN THIS PLACE!"

"You're funny!" Kiyoko giggled. "What's your name?"

"Kini." Kini said.

"Kinininini!" Kiyoko squealed happily. "You wanna know where Charlie keeps his expensive alcohol?"

Kini's eyes lit up. "I do!"

Kiyoko grabbed her hand and led her off to a side room. "Come on! I'll show you!"

Lyn watched the girls disappear and laughed slightly at the scene. Slowly the room reverted back to it's normal rustle of people moving and gossiping.

"Well..." Hector said. "Perhaps it's not a coincidence she's here..."

Jessica smacked Hector upside the head. "Not that it's any of your business. We have more important matters to attend to."

"The morphs." Eliwood said angrily. "Nergal knows where we are."

"That's no longer in question." Jessica said. "Our problem is, what do we do now?"

"We can't just leave." Hector said. "The fact that so many morphs were here last night indicates that Nergal is getting impatient. If we leave and Nergal happens to show up here, everyone here will die."

"But we can't keep risking this town to constant danger." Lyn said. "I'm all for making a stand here, but we have to make sure Nergal is actually coming here and not just sending wave after wave of morphs hoping one will get lucky."

Jessica shook her head. "Morphs require quintessence to create. Nergal can only risk so much. No, the next wave, Nergal will personally lead. Pretty much every member of the Black Fang has already been converted into morphs. He's running out of raw materials."

"So what? We sacrifice a town?" Lyn said. "This isn't fair to these people."

"It's not Lyn." Eliwood said, sighing. "But life isn't fair. If we leave now, everyone here will die. Plus we gain an advantage fighting up here. Morphs, while emotionless, mindless magical constructs, are still modeled after human physiology. We've had a week to acclimate to the climate and the altitude. Fighting up here, as last night has shown, gives us an advantage."

"Plus..." Hector added. "The locals are experts in fighting at such high altitudes, and anyone who are too young or too weak to defend themselves can always be sent down the mountains."

Lyn shook her head. "This isn't right. We don't have any right to tell these people to leave their homes."

Jessica glared at Lyn.

"No." Jessica said. "Ideally, Nergal should realize that he's a douchebag and go kill himself. But since he's not doing that, these people don't HAVE A CHOICE. Just because you want to take the noble high road and leave civilians out of it Lyn, doesn't mean Nergal WILL. And last I checked, he wasn't too keen on discussing a peace agreement."

Lyn bit her tongue. Jessica had a point. Whether they like it or not, this town and its people were dragged into this, and in the big picture, if Nergal wasn't stopped, the entire world will be dragged into this mess.

"So what now?" Hector asked after the two ladies had a chance to calm down.

Jessica finished her coffee and started to put on her coat. "Now it's time to talk to Glenn."

* * *

Charlie poured over the instruction manual for his new Multi-Dimensional Rift Generator. Unfortunately, he was reminded of why he never became a student of magic.

He. Hated. Math.

_The inner balance of human body chemistry must be kept within a very tight window. With many worlds, the changes in the chemical properties of the comprising elements means human life is not supported. Because your body must adhere to the physical laws of the world you are in, should you travel to a world in which say the electrical conductance of water differs by a mere 2%, your body would cease to function and you shall perish immediately upon entering the world._

Charlie had no idea what any of that meant. He assumed that if he opened the wrong portal, he would die.

_The chemical coefficients of the human body is described by the equation depicted within figure 1. To ensure survival, the delta coefficient, the coefficient for water, must not vary past .02 percent of the base equation. The alpha coefficient, the coefficient for carbon, must not surpass .001 percent of the base equation..._

Well screw that. Charlie started to randomly press buttons. After he finished randomly inputting settings, he pulled the start lever. The machine jumped to life. Within the center of the room, a ominous dark portal opened. High winds began whipping around the room, dislodging anything not nailed to the floor or a wall. Charlie had to brace himself to keep from being thrown around like a rag doll.

A few seconds later, the dark portal turned clear, and Charlie saw the outline of what looks to be a city within the portal.

"Huh..." Charlie said. "That looks promising."

Taking a deep breath, Charlie said his prayers... and walked through the portal.

* * *

_1111 S Figueroa St  
Los Angeles, California  
June 17th, 2010, 9:04 PM_

Oh the yelling... there was people everywhere. Nobody seemed to notice the young man who seemingly fell out of a circle of lightning.

Charlie for himself, found himself instinctively roll into a defensive stance, ready to draw his sword, only to be swarmed by a horde of people wearing oddly shaped purple and gold vests. Behind the mob, a giant structure, lit up magically in bright colors. Huge, glaring letters reading _STAPLES CENTER _stared back at him.

"What...is this?" Charlie said, confused as he was swept along with the crowd who seemed to be more running around in some sort of rapture than in fear.

"YEAH LAKERS!"

'What in Elimine's name is a Lakers? Where are all these lights coming from?'

_KOBE BRYANT WINS HIS SECOND STRAIGHT FINALS MVP_

'Who the hell just won what?'

Suddenly a portal opened above him and Charlie felt himself yanked upwards by his collar.

* * *

_Kevin's Library, Inner Sanctum  
Silent Springs, Lycia_

"I told you playing around with dimensional vortexes wasn't something to be taken lightly."

Charlie groaned and stood up, facing Kevin's admonishing glare. He shrugged as he dusted pieces of gold and purple confetti off his shoulder. "Hey, I at least found an alternate world."

Kevin shook his head. "All worlds are connected in some way Charlie. There's something in this world that would correspond to that world, as well as something in that world that would correspond to this one."

"Does the phrase 'Staples Center' mean anything to you?" Charlie asked. "They were talking about some Lakers? What's a Laker?"

Kevin walked over to the shelves and pulled down a very thick book. "In here, I have archived every instance in our world that could relate to an alternate universe. There's an old fairy tale, Sixteen. It's about a group of people in a futuristic world called 'America' who beat the greatest rivals in a made up game called 'Basketball' when everyone doubted everything about their team. I think that's what you witnessed."

"Wait, is there a guy in that story named Kobe Bryant?"

"There actually is." Kevin said. "He's... depending on who's talking about him in the book, either the hero or the anti-hero."

"Hmm... interesting." Charlie said. "Do you know anything else about this world?"

"Not really" Kevin said. "We only get slight windows of insight into other worlds. I think the best way to find out is to learn directly from the source."

Charlie was already recalibrating the vortex inducer, plugging in the same dimensional coefficients. He however, adjusted the space-time coefficients slightly.

"I'm going back Kevin."

"Wait!" Kevin said. He hit a few levers and inserted one of the empty magic staves into the machine. A few minutes later, the staff was returned, the top orb glowing with violent purple electricity.

"This gives you a one time charge to fire a portal between our world and that world. Use it when you want to come back."

Charlie nodded and fastened the staff onto his back.

"Thanks man."

Then he hit the button and walked calmly into the portal that was produced.

* * *

_Bodleian Library  
University of Oxford  
Oxford, United Kingdom  
October 22nd, 2010, 1:48 AM_

Charlie smiled to himself as he entered the sacred halls of the Bodleian Library. The confused act was merely a front for Kevin's benefit. Charlie knew exactly how to use the Rift Generator and exactly where he intended to go.

This world was one he stumbled on many times during his near death trips. All those times he spent in a state of limbo hanging out with a disgruntled spirit who seemed to hate his day job. All those painful trips down the side of the mountain into a gully after he was accused of doing something that he didn't do. This was his compensation for all the pain he endured.

As he walked through the rows of shelves with a small trolley, pulling book after book regarding the history of this world, Charlie couldn't help but hesitate. Was it all worth it? Should he continue down the path he is taking, there could be no light. He may very well achieve his goals, but until the day he dies, and even afterward, he may never again rest peacefully.

The moment's hesitation went away. Charlie found a table in the corner and wheeled his trolley over. With a huge pile of books in front of him, Charlie took down the first one.

_The Colonizer's Model of the World  
James M. Blaut_

Charlie opened the book and crossed the point of no return.

* * *

_Dragon's Gate_

"INCOMPETENT FOOLS!"

Limstella winced at Nergal's words. Beside it, the reanimated creations of those who were once the leaders of the Black Fang stood as it was, stoic and unmoving, taking in their master's ragings.

"Limstella." Nergal said coldly.

"Master?"

"Ready our forces." Nergal growled. "If the whelp thinks he can hide from me... then I shall prove him wrong. We make way for the Lycian boarder at once."

"Yes Master."

As Limstella left Nergal to do his bidding, it realized that perhaps morphs become more human-like the longer they remain in a human form.

'I am a construct and Nergal is my master. I am but a tool. I am not human...' Limstella repeated in her head.

But then again, if that was the case... why was she so fearful earlier that her existence might be at an end? More importantly... why was she referring to herself in with the female pronoun?

And perhaps most importantly... why was she asking questions?

* * *

Erk: Really... the Lakers.

Charlie: Yes. The Lakers.

Erk: I have no words.

Charlie: Then why are you so talkative?

Erk: Shut up.


	48. Deja Vu

Charlie: Happy Thanksgiving

Erk: It's past Thanksgiving

Charlie: Quiet you.

Erk: Just saying.

Charlie: Alright, time for a disclaimer.

Disclaimer: People who put disclaimers here are morons.

Erk: ...nice...

Charlie: Yes, all fanfiction is theoretically a copyright violation. It is only because the original creaters either a) don't care or b) approve of fan works thus giving implicit permission that we are not all being sued out of our asses.

Putting up a disclaimer is kinda like telling Hitler you're not a devout Jew.

Not really going to save you.

Anyways, onwards ho! Be warned, your head may hurt.

* * *

**Chapter 48**_  
Deja Vu_

Kevin looked around his laboratory in dismay. The vortex had literally created a hurricane within his basement. It would take him weeks to pick up and resort all his books and reference materials. He was beginning to question the wisdom of putting such a volatile machine in a room filled with sensitive and quite mobile material.

Just as he lamented the daunting cleanup ahead of him, a vortex once again opened, throwing already haphazardly strewn books violently against the stone walls. Kevin wailed in despair as he held on to a light fixture, trying his best not to be tossed around with his books. A moment later, the winds subsided, and Kevin turned to glare angrily at...

...was that Charlie? The man looked different. A new haircut, a pair of glasses and some very odd clothing.

"Charlie?"

Charlie nodded, shaking off what looked to be snow off the top of his head. "Hey Kevin."

"How long were you in the other world?" Kevin asked.

"A few weeks." Charlie said. "I learned quite a lot. I even wrote a book. Though it's really for my benefit. I discovered a few things."

"Like what?" Kevin asked.

"The other world isn't magically attuned as our world. Things function... differently." Charlie said. He opened his coat and pulled out an odd device. It was L shaped... with the long end pointed outwards. A small hole is visible at the end.

"This for instance, is a gun." Charlie said. "A 9mm Beretta to be exact. In the other world, I pull this trigger, and it fires these bullets, or pieces of metal out at such a high velocity that I can literally shoot through sheets of metals to kill a person."

Kevin instinctively backed away from the point of the gun.

"It has amazing range as well, and I can fire the entire 18 shot clip in a few short seconds."

Kevin nodded. "...okay... so what does this have to do with magic?"

Charlie pointed the gun at Kevin, who saw his life flash before his eyes as Charlie pulled the trigger. A second later, Kevin realized he was still alive. He looked up to see Charlie uselessly pulling the trigger over and over again.

"Just as I suspected." Charlie said. "It doesn't work here."

"As you SUSPECTED?" Kevin raged.

"You see..." Charlie said. "The bullets function by igniting this black powder which launches it forward. But because explosive fire functions through anima magic in our world, the black powder that they use is useless here."

Charlie pulled out several small caliber bullets. "These things are about as dangerous as Kiyoko's cooking. It won't kill you unless you try to eat it."

"Okay..." Kevin said. "So their weapons are useless here. I assume that our magic is also useless in their world."

Charlie nodded. "I would assume so... but all things can be modified. Do you know the runic symbols for a simple fire spell?"

"Yeah..." Kevin nodded. "Why?"

Charlie tossed him a few angular shaped pieces of metal. "That's a bullet. See the discolored part at the bottom? Inscribe the fire runes into that area."

Kevin looked down at the odd objects Charlie gave him. His hands glowed for a moment, then the simple red symbols for a fire spell glowed dimly around the base of the bullet. He tossed them back to Charlie.

"Now..." Charlie said as he disassembled the magic staff he used to get home. "If I take the trigger for a magic staff, which activates the magic stored in a staff, apply it to the gun, and use these bullets inscribed with a fire spell..."

Charlie reassembled the pistol. "Cover your ears Kevin."

Kevin wondered briefly why before putting his hands to his ears. Charlie then pointed the gun at a window and pulled the trigger. Kevin heard a loud bang and watched as a burst of fire emitted from Charlie's hands... before his window shattered into a million pieces.

"DUDE!" Kevin yelled after the ringing stopped. "Did you HAVE to break my window?"

"These things bounce off stone walls." Charlie said. "I'd rather not risk shooting you."

"What if someone was outside the library? You could've killed them!" Kevin said.

"...really, someone at the library during winter holidays?" Charlie deadpanned.

"...good point." Kevin sighed. "Okay, so now you know how to convert technology... wait, how did you get the magic staff to work in the other world to come back?"

"I'm not sure." Charlie said. "I think a magic staff creates a separate dimension within itself identical to ours, and that in turn allows the magic to still function for a short period of time. I noticed the vortex started to collapse almost immediately after forming. I didn't hang around long enough to find out what would happen."

Charlie stretched and took off his overcoat. Before Kevin could ask him any more questions, Charlie handed him a book.

"I wrote down certain observations about our dimensions into a book." Charlie said. "It didn't sell well in that other world though."

"_Connecting Dimensions?"_ Kevin said questioningly. He flipped through the first few pages. "Well, I can imagine why it didn't sell well. You sound like an absolute lunatic"

"True." Charlie shrugged. "I didn't write it for their benefit. Either way, take a look through that. I need to go find Kini... and make preparations."

"Just one more thing." Kevin said. "About languages..."

"Oh yeah, I wondered about that too." Charlie said. "But it appears that because all the dimensions are connected, our languages are mapped. Lycian seems to map to what the other world knows as 'English,' which seems to be the dominant language of that world. I haven't tried speaking Etrurian yet. Perhaps I'll try it next."

* * *

Eliwood realized during his stay here that he really didn't know the people in his army as well as he should. True he knew most who came from his lands, but aside from that, he was quite unfamiliar with many who he should trust his life with.

For instance, he learned recently of Rebecca's involvement with the mage, Erk. Eliwood realized that he has barely ever spoken to the sullen mage, and now he found himself in a long awkward silence next to the aforementioned mage as the two worked together on repairing the Church.

Glenn had agreed a little too enthusiastically to volunteer his town to "the glory of the Lycian League." The meeting with the council of elders was... a joke. With Glenn's wife still weakened from childbirth, and Charlie's proxy not really in a position to protest, Glenn's voice carried the day. Most of the civilians were being sent down the mountain this afternoon. Jessica had volunteered the army to fix and fortify the town.

Only a few stayed behind to help out. To save any future legal hassles that may arise, Hector invoked his right of conscription and enlisted the remaining few into the army: The sisters, Kate, Brian, Kiyoko, Alan and Kini were all inducted into the ranks of Eliwood's legion. Glenn was unfortunately forced by his wife to miss out on all the excitement.

With those turn of events, Eliwood found himself in the envious position of having to hang upside down over the side of the church with a grumpy mage installing frames for the massive stained glass windows.

"Sooo..." Eliwood said as the two struggled to hold the frame in place long enough for Hector and Lyn to nail it into place. "You and Rebecca..."

"Yes my lord." Erk said. "...my lord, you don't have to fill these silences for my sake."

"You're right..." Eliwood nodded. "But... I've come to realize that I know almost nothing of half the people in my own army... and we are supposed to trust each other with our lives. How am I to do that when I barely know half the troops?"

"That's a fair point." Erk said. "I must say I too am unfamiliar with many in this army. We seem to keep mostly to our own little cliques in terms of socializing."

"That is true." Eliwood said. "Well, for what it's worth, it will be an honor to serve next to you."

"The honor is mine my lord." Erk bowed. "Now if only Lord Hector would hurry with the nails..."

"OY! HECTOR!" Eliwood screamed downwards. "HURRY THE HECK UP!"

Below them, Hector smirked and waved cheerfully at the two poor souls hanging onto the heavy frame.

"My lord!" Erk yelled. "It would be unwise to test the limits of our strength. If we lose our grip, you would be the one crushed beneath the wood."

Eliwood has never seen Hector move quite so quickly before.

* * *

"Kent, Sain."

The two knights turned towards their tactician, coming to a salute.

"At ease boys..." Jessica said. They were in the inn, sitting at the bar. Kini glanced at Jessica as she sat down, waiting for an order. Jessica smoothly shook her head and the girl went back about her business. The tactician looked down at the maps Kent and Sain were studying.

"Any luck?"

"Not so much..." Kent sighed. "The good news is that there are only so many safe paths up the mountains. We can essentially only have to defend two points, the main path, and a little side ramp. We will also have the high ground, but I wouldn't put too much stock into that. I highly doubt that morphs are capable of being discouraged by a mere disadvantage."

"And the bad news?" Jessica asked.

"The winds down the mountain are erratic. I checked with Lady Louise and Wil, even they had trouble firing anything down the hill. The only way we could possible slow their advance is to throw rocks or start an avalanche. We do not have the materials to build catapults anymore, and starting an avalanche in front of us could easily start one further up the mountain... burying us alive as well."

"So many good choices." Jessica said. "Have you checked with Sonia if she'll get shipments of wood and stone in?"

"I have." Sain said. "With the blizzard setting in, all shipments are restricted to emergency supplies only. Plus with the snow so deep, there's no way a cart full of heavy wood would ever make it up the mountain. We've considered taking apart a building, but the wood for most of the structures here are too rigid for use in weapons."

Just then, Kini looked over at the council and cleared her throat.

"You have something to say?" Jessica asked.

"The shack out back where Charlie keeps his alcohol and off of Kiyoko's pocky." Kini said. "He used a lighter, more flexible wood to build it. You could use that to build your catapults."

"Hmm... that's a good idea..." Jessica said. "And you mentioned alcohol?"

"Yes, he has several bottles of very high proof alcohol."

Jessica smiled. "Kent, Sain, bring me Merlinus and Legault. I have an idea."

* * *

After Jessica and the knights left, Kini checked her small pocket watch. It was nearing noon. She cleared down her bar, and put up an "out to lunch" sign... which Kini found odd considering Charlie's inn was really the only place that served lunch during the winter.

Regardless, she was to meet the man at the library. After stepping out the back and making sure nobody was around her, Kini drew on her inner powers... and zapped herself away in a bolt of lightning.

Charlie was waiting outside with the librarian, holding an odd device in his hands. Kini reformed herself in front of the two, both who know her powers well enough to not be shocked by it.

"You're late." Charlie said.

Kini looked at her watch. "Two minutes."

"Two minutes is two minutes." Charlie said. "Anyways, I have work for you."

"Oh joy." Kini said. "I'm not going to like this work am I?"

"You mi... … okay, no, you're not." Charlie said. "But tell you what, you do this, and I'll accidentally burn down your house so you have to bunk with Kiyoko tonight."

Kini's eyes lit up. "Deal!"

Charlie sighed and pulled out three sealed letters from his cloak.

"Alright, first thing, I want you to deliver these to Caelin, Ostia and Pherae." Charlie said. "Use your powers, make a big flash. I want people in those cities knowing that Subject Zero is in Lycia."

"Simple enough." Kini said. "So what? I just show up and hand them the letters?"

"Yes." Charlie said. "Say nothing, hand them the letters. Give it a little flashy entrance if you'd like. I want to play up the mystique and mystery of the Subject Zero lore"

"Oh... lovely." Kini said. "I get to be a monster and a harbinger of bad news. Does it get worse?"

"Eheh..." Charlie chuckled nervously.

Kini sighed, but waved for Charlie to continue.

"I've been tracking Nergal...or rather, the cloud twins have been tracking Nergal's progress." Charlie said. "He's moving too fast. I need you to consistently monitor his progress. Make sure it will take him six or seven days to get here."

"May I ask why?" Kini asked.

"Because.. .that's how long it'll take the unified Lycian Army to get here."

Kini's eyes widened. "...Oh...I see what you're trying to do now."

Charlie smirked. "Go... you don't know half of it."

Kini nodded and secured the letters to her body. Then with a flash, she shot off into the distance. Charlie and Kevin stood there, watching a bolt of lightning disappear over the horizon. When she was gone, Kevin turned to Charlie.

"Are you sure you can't back out of this?" Kevin asked.

Charlie shook his head. "If my theory of time travel is correct, I will end up doing this. Odd that it gives a certain credence to predestination."

Kevin looked down at the book Charlie had given him. "That is true... so how do you know your theory is correct?"

Charlie unstrapped a staff from his back. "I'm about to find out."

* * *

_Silent Springs, 12 years ago_

Charlie stepped out the vortex and braced himself against the wind. He remembered this day, twelve years in the past. That was the day Kiyoko's father, Robert disappeared. Everyone blamed the high winds that day. Robert was on his way up the mountain after a meeting with the local boarder patrol when the road crumbled beneath him. His body was never recovered.

Charlie stood on a hill overlooking the point where the man was said to have disappeared. He knew now that what happened was not a road collapse. The passage was well protected from the winds. There was no way the road could collapse... … … unless someone created a vortex within the passage.

Over the horizon, Charlie could see Robert's figure slowly making his way up the mountain. He felt a pang in his heart. Kiyoko's father treated him like a son as well. Their families were close. In fact, their mothers were already planning their wedding... even if Kiyoko was only 2 years old and 4 year old Charlie spent his time trying to put snow into her crib.

Today, it all changes...

As he approached the pass, Charlie drew a staff from his cloak...

* * *

_Virginian Countryside, United States of America  
1829_

Robert blinked his eyes. One moment he was walking up a snowy road back to his wife and daughter, now he found himself laying in a forest covered in dirt. He blinked the dust out of his eyes and cautiously sat up and looked around.

"You're alive!" A voice said.

Robert instinctively jumped into a combat stance and faced the source of the voice. It was a young girl carrying flowers in a basket.

"Who... ...what... ..."

"You had me worried there!" The girl said rushing over to Robert. "I thought you were dead, I had gone for help."

"Oh... … I'm sorry, where am I?"

"Why... you're in Virginia, near Arlington. Are you alright?"

"I'm... not sure." Robert said. "Where is... Virginia?"

"Oh my." The girl said. "You have hit your head hard. Come, my parents house is over that way. We should get you inside with some tea."

"Oh... thank you." Robert said.

"You're welcome." The girl said. "My name is Mary by the way. Mary Anna Curtis."

"Robert. Robert Edward Lee."

* * *

_United States Archive, Washington DC  
December 1st, 2010_

"Identification please."

Charlie handed the man his ID badge. He had done many things in his time at the new world, one of which was getting a job within the United States government. The gift of time and space travel had allowed him to construct a past for himself.

"Thank you Mr. Rastic" The man said. "This way please."

Charlie smiled and followed the man inside. After the retina and fingerprint scans confirmed his identity, Charlie strode unaccompanied into one of the largest historical databases in the world. While most people can look up just about anything from the archives, the information Charlie needed was sensitive... secret... eyes only.

Right now, his eyes were special enough to see those documents.

_General Robert Edward Lee_

Charlie smiled. Now was the moment of truth...

_General Lee was found by Mary Anna Curtis in the woods behind the Arlington House. He claims to be from a land known as Lycia. Lycia was once a region in Anatolia on the southern coasts of Turkey. Anatolia was far distance from Virginia where he was found and had long since ceased to exist as an entity. The mystery of General Lee's origins have never been solved. A new historical background for the General has been constructed and remains in circulation as the truth._

The guard at the archives noticed that Mr. Charles Rastic was exceptionally happy that evening.

* * *

_Silent Springs, Present Day_

Charlie found himself standing once again in the antechamber of the library, watching Kevin hold on for dear life. After the winds settled, Kevin composed himself and scowled up at Charlie.

"I hope this is worth it." Kevin said. "And why does that badge read 'Charles Rastic?' That's not your last name. Do I really want to know?"

"To answer your questions in reverse order: no you don't want to know. 'Rastic' was just easier to spell, and yes, it is worth it." Charlie said

"So Kiyoko's father isn't dead?"

"Well..." Charlie said. "Yes and no. No, he didn't die that day. Yes, he might be dead considering how time works... I think."

"So you're just playing with science and magic while having no clue how they function?"

"I have theories." Charlie said. "I just need to further test them. Besides, biologically, the body functions of humans of our world and the humans of the other world are exactly the same, so at least nobody's dying from this... so I'm not hurting anybody."

"And you know this because of your extensive studies in biology?" Kevin deadpanned.

"Nah." Charlie said. "In terms of body function, nothing has changed while in the other world. My physical body didn't change so anatomically and sexually men are still the same... and the women are definitely the same..."

"Alright." Kevin said, stopping Charlie. "I don't want to hear about your extracurricular activities. Just what are you going to do now?"

"Test my theories on time and dimensional travel... and take over the world." Charlie said.

"Cool." Kevin said, sarcastically. "Just let me know if you need a regent."

"I will do that."

As Charlie walked from the path leading away from the library, contemplating what he was about to do, he saw the archers, Lady Louise, Rebecca and Wil walking with Matthew. They were discussing sniping positions for the upcoming battle

Charlie activated one of his staves. As the four drew near, Charlie planted it into the snow and braced himself against a large rock. It was time to test his theories.

* * *

_Castle Pherae_

Lady Eleanora lived each day fretting over the well being of her son. Despite reassurances from her attendents, Eleanora could not shake the feeling that something terrible is about to happen.

On this day, Lady Eleanora and one of her maids were strolling in the gardens when all of a sudden, dark ominous storm clouds began to gather. Pherae was too far south to get any snow, and winters were usually nice and sunny until the second month of the new year. The appearance of the storm clouds gave Eleanora frightening chills down her spine.

Then a lightning bolt struck the ground in front of her, throwing both her and her attendant to the ground. The nearby guards quickly reacted and came to her side, bearing their arms as they all watched a young girl materialize in front of them.

Eleanora has only heard rumors from her husband's court. Etruria's Subject Zero was said to be a myth among the nobles of Lycia. Mere stories of a girl who can transform her body into pure magic ravaging the Etrurian countryside, leaving none alive in her wake.

And now the myth, the legend was standing before her. The girl was young, calm. Nothing like the monstrous witch the legends speak of her. She held in her hand a letter. Calmly, the girl walked towards Eleanora, holding out the letter with both hands. Beside her, Eleanora could feel her guards prepare to attack. She held out a hand, signaling for them to stop.

The girl smiled appreciatively at Eleanora. She handed the lady her letter, curtsied respectfully... then with a whoosh, transformed into a bolt of lightning and disappeared from sight.

With shaking hands, Eleanora broke the seal on the letter and scanned through the words inscribed. When she reached the end, her hands were shaking. Tears peaked from the corners of her eyes. With a shaky hand, she handed the letter to one of her guards and asked him to confirm her fears.

When the guard looked grimly up at her, Eleanora became resigned to reality.

"Gather the knights. We march for Ostia. Send messenger pigeons to Uther immediately. His brother must share the same fate as my son."

Only after the guards had disappeared did Eleanora allow herself to break down completely into tears. The maid stood dutifully at her lady's side, allowing the lady to use her apron as a cloth. The letter lay forgotten beside Lady Eleanora, slightly crumpled and wet. However, the maid could still make out a few words on the soiled paper...

_I have your son...

* * *

_

_Rouvray-Sainte-Croix, France  
February 5th, 1492_

"YOU THERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET TO YOUR POSITIONS!"

Louise smelled fish... and blood. Around her, people swarmed about frantically. She barely avoided being trampled at least four times.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET TO YOUR-... Oh... my lady what are you doing here? How did you get here? No matter, quick, get to shelter before the French pigs come upon us! Take your servant girl with you!"

Louise realized she was still in her silks. The servant girl the man referred to must be... Rebecca. They were speaking of defensive fortifications in the snow. This was... quite clearly not a defensive position in the snowy peaks of Lycia... the question was... where is she? And who are these blasted French?"

The soil above her head exploded as if by magic and Louise decided questions could wait. Beside her, Wil and Rebecca were both stirring. Louise looked around and saw enormous bows scattered around them. She quickly grabbed three and rushed over to where Rebecca and Wil lay on the ground.

"Get up, we're being attacked."

"Wha...?" Rebecca muttered. She looked around, clearly confused at the lack of snow and the multitudes of people. Beside her, Wil looked equally confused.

"My lady! Get you and your servant girl out of here!" The man who was yelling before called out again.

Louise looked back at him. "If it's all the same to you sir, might I be of help?"

The man scoffed. "This is not the time for jokes milady. Your clothing clearly indicate nobility. I cannot allow you to get hurt or it will be my head!"

"Oh..." Louise said, stringing up the bow. "You'll find I'm quite capable of keeping myself from harm."

The massive length of the bow gave Louise rather surprising range. While clearly an even more massive form of a longbow, she found after a few test shots she could easily fire beyond her typical reach. After calibrating the draw weights, Louise lined up a shot towards the men charging their position... and quickly let loose a high arching shot. The arrow shot out with alarming speed, rainbowed beautifully in the air and pierced one of the attackers in the neck. Louise turned to give her doubter a small smirk.

"Any more questions?"

The man raised his hands. "Alright, if you wish to fight, don't let me stop you. Careful though, these wagons are the only things we have for cover. Careful, the French are using gunpowder artillery against us. The barrels are mostly filled with fish. They won't be able to take more than a few shots"

"Gunpowder?" Louise pondered. But another explosion beside her answered her question as the man pointed at the charred ground. Wil and Rebecca were now both up, calibrating their respective bows as well. Louise retrieved several quivers of arrows and set them at their feet. Then looking down the field, she began raining death upon the so called "French."

"Where's Matthew?" Rebecca called out in between shots.

"I don't know." Louise called back. "But I'm sure he's fine."

Sir John Fastolf watched the mysterious woman and her two... friends mow down the French with deadly accuracy. The longbow was not known for its pinpoint accuracy at long ranges, relying instead on sheer number to be effective at range. These three were clearly beyond superior marksmen.

Fastolf did not ponder the origins of the Lady and her friends long. He was facing nearly 4000 Frenchmen and their Scots allies with but 400 men and a few dozen barrels of fish for cover. He would gladly take help from anyone he could get.

* * *

_Unknown Location  
Unknown Date_

Hector slowly opened his eyes. The last thing he recalled was sitting at the bar with Eliwood and Oswin, trying to find possible flanking routes around the town center. Then Charlie, who was supposed to be visiting a sick aunt walked in. The innkeeper's eyes were glowing. An ornate staff in his hand created a vortex of wind and lightning. Hector had held on for as long as he could... then he was sucked in... then... darkness.

He felt heavy, with various odd items seemingly strapped to his body. He looked down and found himself carrying all manners of odd trinkets and gadgets, and dressed in a beige colored, lightweight suit that covered him completely. Around him, many men dressed similarly were clutching crosses, saying prayers or throwing up.

It was then that Hector noticed he was on the water... in a small...strangely shaped ship. The waters were rough. Hector bit back his nausea and focused himself on the landscape. Ahead of him lies a beach with many short structures standing a few thousand feet away from the shoreline, jutting out from rocky cliffs. The ground around the beach was exploding as if by magic. Strange flying machines zipped around, spewing fire onto the beach, into the bunkers, and even at each other.

"THIRTY SECONDS!"

Hector noticed the man at the front. He seemed special. He was the only one with two bars on his helmet. The man was holding a long stick like object, which Hector assumed was a weapon. It hadn't taken him long to figure out this was a battlefield. Now if only he could figure out how to use his weapon...

"WHEN YOU GET ON THE BEACH, KEEP MOVING TOWARDS THE SEA WALL. DO NOT STOP. ONCE YOU'RE AT THE LINE, STAY COVERED UNTIL WE GET THE BANGALORES IN FOR THE BREECH! WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT STOP MOVING! GOOD LUCK AND I'LL SEE YOU AT THE BUNKERS!"

Before Hector got a chance to ask, he felt the ship lurch. They had hit the ground.

"DROPPING RAMP!"

St. Elimine help him.

_June 6, 1944__  
Normandy, France_

_

* * *

_

Erk: ...where did you send me?

Charlie: ...kekeke

Erk: ...I just HAD to be the muse for a psychopathic computer science major with a penchant for writing and an interest in studying history. 'No it's fine!' I said. 'Being a lawyer is much more stressful" I said. Bah, I should've listened to my mother.

Charlie: Everyone should always listen to their mothers.

Erk: Your mother tells you to drink less.

Charlie: Bah, what does she know?


	49. Twas the Night

Charlie: Merry Christmas~

* * *

**Chapter 49**_  
'Twas the Night_

_'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house  
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;  
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;  
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,  
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;  
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,  
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.  
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow  
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,  
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,  
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,  
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.  
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,  
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;  
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!  
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!  
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!  
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"  
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,  
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,  
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,  
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.  
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof  
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,  
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.  
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,  
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;  
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,  
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.  
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!  
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;  
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,  
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;  
He had a broad face and a little round belly,  
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.  
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,  
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;  
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,  
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;  
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,  
And laying his finger aside of his nose,  
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;  
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,  
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.  
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,  
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."_

"Are you quite done?" Charlie asked poking his head out from under the rift generator. By one of the bookshelves, Kevin snapped a large bound book shut and glared down at the innkeeper.

"I'm just saying Charlie, it's close to the winter holidays. Do you REALLY have to ruin Christmas for everyone?"

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Oh please, if I have my way, we'll all be sitting down to dry turkey and overcooked ham by Christmas Eve. Now quit your whining and give me some power."

Kevin put away his book of Christmas poems and took out a yellow bound thunder tome. He glanced over warily at Charlie who was lying under the power generator.

"Are you SURE you want me to power it while you're under the machine? I know you think you're invincible, but there are somethings not even you can survive."

"Yes yes yes, your concern for me is touching. Now just crank it." Charlie said impatiently

"Alright..." Kevin said. He opened the tome and began chanting. Once the incantations were finished, the librarian released a burst of magical energy from his body. Moments later, a bolt of lightning appeared out of nowhere and struck the power source of the rift generator. The machine crackled to life with streaks of blue static running across the exposed metal surfaces.

Soon it became apparent that not all was right. The machine was too loud, too unstable. There was too much smoke for things to be working properly.

Underneath the generator, Charlie briefly regretted his decision to stay beneath the machine... then the world went dark.

* * *

Death looked upon the prone... spirit body of the poor excuse of a man before him. This is already the second time in less than a week that Charlie has been in his office. Sadly, the powers that be forbids Death from taking the man's soul yet. While this meant less paperwork for him, it also unfortunately meant that Death was now working Christmas Eve, a time that could much better be spent attempting to sleep with his secretary. Once every century or so she gets drunk enough to actually let him.

Sighing, Death strapped his scythe to his back and kicked the man on the ground. With a loud groan, Charlie rolled over and promptly vomited on Death's shoes.

"That is disgusting." Death said calmly, using his unholy magic to turn the disgusting goop into unicorn sparkles. "Seriously, must you throw up on me every time we do this?"

"Must we do this?" Charlie grumbled, struggling to his feet. "Can't you just kill me and get it over with?"

"Yeah..." Death said. "There isn't a single God in ANY universe that you haven't pissed off. So guess every time you have an incident that would normally kill a man, you get to spend the day with me until you have a revelation."

"So what, you don't have anything better to do anyways." Charlie said. "I mean, what else would you be doing? Getting rejected by your secretary while getting pissed?"

"Oh shut up." Death said. "You know, they actually were talking about letting you die this time."

"Really?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, Jesus was having a shitfit with Elimine over you violating dimensional lines." Death said.

"So why am I still not dead?"

"Because," Death said. "Elimine saved her people by vaporizing monsters. Jesus saved his people by dying. Not much of a contest there."

"I'm touched Elimine would fight for my life." Charlie said.

"Don't be." Death said. "Instead of killing you, Jesus requested that I show you how much better the world would be if you never existed. He's probably hoping your revelation will involve your suicide... or at least a deep depression that stops you from fucking with his realm. Either way, I'm sure you'll enjoy this."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Oh please, like the world would be a better place without me."

Death opened a portal. "Why don't we find out?"

The snow crunched beneath his rather solid boots, but Charlie could not feel the coldness of the air around him. Beside him, Death was in his customary black robes with scythe. They were in Silent Springs. Charlie took a look around, nothing seems different.

"It looks like my not existing really didn't make the world that much better." Charlie said.

"I bet you you're wrong." Death replied. "Come on, let's check the inn. As usual, nobody can see or hear us."

"Yeah yeah." Charlie said. "By the way, if I don't exist, who's running the inn?"

To answer his question, a stunningly beautiful girl emerged from the front doors of the inn to open the shutters of the windows. She was tall, with silky black hair that hung to her waist and a pair of bright eyes that pierced into Charlie's soul.

"Meet Corrine. The child your parents had instead of you." Death said. "You don't exist. Your parents went on to have a daughter. As you can see, she is beautiful, kind, and not a douchebag."

"Thanks." Charlie said. "I don't know how that makes the world a better place."

The girl at the front door finished opening the shutters. She walked to the front steps of the inn, turned and smiled brilliantly. The moment she smiled, the gloomy clouds above parted to allow the brilliant sunlight to shine on the town square. The girl held out her hand and several songbirds perched themselves on her delicate fingers.

"And THAT is how she makes the world a better place." Death said. "But that's probably not all. Remember, you don't exist. So this is theoretically a world in which Corrine existed instead of you."

Death grabbed Charlie's cloak and teleported the two out of the town square. The sudden teleportation disoriented Charlie for a second. When he came to, he found himself standing in a dark, gloomy looking warehouse.

"Where are we?" Charlie asked.

"I have no idea really." Death said. "I just take you to places. Jesus is the one calling the shots right now. But if I have to bet my money, it looks like a... workshop or factory of sorts."

"Right." Charlie said.

Just then, the main door to the warehouse opened, and a lone figure walked in. Charlie squinted and saw Kiyoko walking towards him, shivering in the cold.

"Ha! It's Kiyoko. I bet you without me, she's been working as some poor sweat shop laborer slaving to earn enough money for pocky."

"Uh huh." Death said skeptically. "We'll see about that."

Kiyoko, not seeing either specter, walked past where Charlie and Death were standing. She pulled her cloak tighter around her as she entered into the darkest parts of the warehouse. Charlie and Death followed her closely.

"Hello?" Kiyoko called. "Daddy?"

"...Daddy?" Charlie asked.

"Oh right." Death said. "Yeah, because you never existed, nobody ever kidnapped her father into an alternate dimension."

"I bet he's a slave too." Charlie said confidently.

Ahead of the two, Kiyoko ascended a couple of stairs. Charlie could see at the top, a small square of light coming from a tiny window.

"Daddy!" Kiyoko yelled. "Come on! Mom says it's time to come home for dinner. Corrine, Alan and everyone is coming over! We're all waiting for you!"

"HO HO HO!" A loud booming voice Charlie recognized as Robert Edward Lee's rang out. A door at the top of the stairs opened, letting out a beam of light. In the door way stood a tall man wearing a bright red suit with white fur trim. "MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLING!"

"Daddy..." Kiyoko giggled as her father swept her up in a giant hug. "Come on, it's time to go home."

"But the children!" Robert Lee said. "I have gifts to deliver!"

"...He's SANTA CLAUS?" Charlie asked incredulously. "Robert Lee, the youngest man ever to attain the rank of General in the Ostian Army... is freaking SANTA CLAUS?"

"Not quite." Death said. "You see, the day you kidnapped Robert Lee was the day he learned that he had inherited his father's toy factory. Robert Lee took that toy factory and expanded it into a toy empire. Every Christmas, he, his wife and his daughter not only make millions of gold selling toys, but also donate over 100,000 gifts to various charities across Lycia. Robert Lee makes it a point to dress up as Santa Claus and personally deliver the toys."

"...oh Joy." Charlie muttered. "I'm glad to know I basically killed Santa Claus."

"Oh, I'm sure it gets worse." Death said. "Come, let's go see the Lee Family Christmas dinner, which is attended by none other than Corrine."

Another flash, and Charlie found himself standing in Kiyoko's house. Except instead of the cold, pocky filled, warehouse esque structure that the old Kiyoko in his world kept, this house was different. It was warm, decorated, and filled with the smells and sounds of Christmas. A large table in the dining room held several placings and had a beautiful looking Turkey standing in the middle. Mrs. Lee hustled around the house, making sure everything was perfect.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Mrs. Lee...and Charlie and Death... turned their heads to see Corrine and Alan entering the house. Alan took off his coat and then helped Corrine with hers. Mrs. Lee dropped what she was doing and quickly ran over to the girl.

"Corrine! Alan!" Mrs. Lee exclaimed pulling the two teens into a giant hug. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas Mrs. Lee." Corrine said, smiling brightly. Charlie could practically see the daisies and rainbows materializing at the girl's smile.

"Oh stop calling me that." Mrs. Lee said. "After your parents died, I promised I would raise you as my own. Now you call me mum or there will be no turkey for you."

"...well, I see my parents are still dead." Charlie muttered. "I see that hasn't changed."

"Yeah... well..."

"They were good people." Mrs Lee continued. "They will always be honored as our nation's greatest heroes after they sacrificed their lives in order to stop the evil sorcerer Nergal."

"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me." Charlie groaned.

"It's always at this time I miss them the most." Corrine said. She held on to Mrs Lee as Alan patted her comfortingly on the back. "They always made Christmas good at our house."

"That they did." Mrs Lee said, tearing up. "I'm sure they would be proud that their daughter grew up to be such a fine woman."

"Oh..." Corrine said, blushing. "Don't say that. Look at your own daughter! She's a year younger than me and she already owns her own snack food empire."

Charlie nearly fell over.

"Oh, that daughter of mine." Mrs Lee said laughing. "Just like her father. Though I have to say, it's kind of nice not having to have to buy pocky for her anymore now that she owns all rights to it."

"Kiyoko OWNS the company that produces pocky?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"Looks like it." Death said.

"Haha, that is true." Corrine said. She and Alan followed Mrs Lee into the house. Alan was carrying a large sack. When they entered the living room, Alan set the sack down and began pulling packages out of it.

"Though I have to say," Corrine continued. "It's much harder to shop for that girl now."

Charlie facepalmed as the happy family shared another laugh.

"This is getting very depressing." Charlie said. "I mean look at the ground! Flowers freaking sprout from that girl's footsteps."

Death looked down and saw that indeed, patches of beautiful blue roses sprang from the wooden floor in line of small footprint patterns.

"Well, how about that." Death said. "Now let's make life a bit worse for you shall we?"

He tapped his scythe and time began to speed up. Charlie watched in fast forward as Kiyoko and Robert returned home and the family sat down to a family dinner. After Robert finished carving the bird, Death tapped his scythe again and things resumed at a normal speed.

"So what now?" Charlie asked. "You're going to torture me by making me hungry?"

"Not quite." Death said. "There's one person here whose story you haven't seen yet."

"Who?" Charlie asked. He looked at the family eating and chatting happily. "Alan?"

"Yep." Death said. "Now hush."

For a while, the family just ate and talked. Suddenly, Alan took his fork and tapped it on his glass.

"Uhm, excuse me. I have something to say." Alan called out.

The room fell quiet, but Charlie could swear that Mrs. Lee gave Alan a small wink.

"As you all know, I've been studying medicine at the University of Ostia for the past four years, and I wanted this to be a surprise, but I've taken some extra classes over the past few semesters... and I managed to graduate early. I just took my last final a week back and I was invited to head a team of surgeons to establish a clinic up in Silent Springs."

"Oh my gosh!" The room exploded in cheers and applause. "Congratulations!"

Alan smiled and waved at everyone for quiet.

"Thank you. I couldn't have done any of this without your support over the past few years." Alan said. "As the pieces of my life slowly fall into place, I find myself missing one very important piece to the puzzle of my future."

Alan turned to Corrine. "Corrine, over the past few years, you've supported me through everything, from academic stumbles to emotional lows. I couldn't have accomplished anything without you. You are the guiding light in my life, and I could not imagine spending my life with anyone else..."

Corrine teared up and Kiyoko gasped as Alan fell to his knees and opened a small case containing quite possible the largest diamond ring Charlie has ever seen in his life.

"Corrine Raistzenburg... will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Corrine fell into tears. Unable to articulate her answer, she merely nodded and held out her hands. Alan slid the ring onto her fourth finger, then stood up and faced his new fiance. Corrine immediately jumped onto the man and pressed her lips to his in a passionate kiss as the Lee's applauded loudly.

"...You know... at least Kiyoko's not married." Charlie said.

"You had to say it didn't you?" Death said, smiling.

"What? Oh... no... no... no no no no no... it can't be..." Charlie said fearfully.

Just then, a knock came at the door. The family exchanged confused looks.

"Who could that be?" Mrs Lee asked.

"I'll check!" Kiyoko said as she stood up and bounded over to the door.

Charlie heard her gasp when the door opened. He looked over and saw Kiyoko staring up at a stunningly handsome man with long black hair that was covered in powdered snow. He held a bouquet of flowers and smiled brilliantly at Kiyoko.

"Yuri!" Kiyoko exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Well..." The man said. "I was swamped with paperwork... but then I decided that spending Christmas alone was just not fun."

He swept Kiyoko into a massive hug.

"Besides, I didn't want to be without my wife on the holidays."

Kiyoko squealed and kissed him hard. Charlie put a hand on the door frame, bent over, and promptly threw up.

"There there." Death said, patting the man on the back. "Look on the bright side, at least they seem happy."

"There has to be SOMEBODY miserable now that I don't exist." Charlie croaked as he wiped his mouth with Death's robe. "What about Kevin? I was pretty much the only guy who visited his library on a regular basis."

"Well..." Death said. He opened a portal and pushed Charlie through.

Through the portal, Charlie found himself at the Royal Ostian Archives in the capital city, home to the largest library in the world. With a feeling of dread in his stomach, he looked up at the building to see a statue of Kevin in front of the stairs. Beneath the statue, a shiny bronze plaque with the words "Head Archivist" gleamed in the sunlight.

"Really? REALLY?" Charlie asked. "I don't exist and he's becomes the first head archivist they actually build a statue for?"

"Yep." Death said. "Shall we see more?"

"Do I have a choice?"

Death grabbed Charlie's cloak. "Nope!"

Another flash and Charlie found himself standing among very formally dressed people standing before an empty throne room.

"Where are we?" Charlie asked.

"You'll see." Death said.

Before Charlie could respond, a booming voice rang through the room.

"Presenting Kini Isabel Victoire Regina Kuestoicz von Juurgens, High Priestess of Elimine, Grand Magister of the Order of Archsages, Queen of Etruria."

"WHAT?" Charlie yelled as the room burst into applause. "HOW THE HELL IS SHE QUEEN? HOW IS MY EXISTENCE AT ALL RELATED TO HER BECOMING SUBJECT ZERO?"

"Well, apparently your existence threw off the balance of good and evil in the world which caused the massive meltdown in her parent's experiment." Death explained.

"And how is she queen?" Charlie asked. "Isn't she like... 40th in line?"

"She's 45th actually." Death said. "The King died, and all those in line refused the crown because Kini discovered a spell that actually solved world hunger."

"So who's the King Consort? Don't Etrurian queens have to have a King Consort to take the throne?"

A purple haired man wearing regal robes emerged from the wings to stand next to Kini. She smiled warmly at him and took his hands as the two greeted their subjects.

"Erk." Charlie said. "Erk of all people is the King Consort to the Queen of Etruria."

"Yes." Death said. "Since your parents killed Nergal, Erk never was drafted into Eliwood's army. He finished his assignment and went back to Etruria where he assisted Queen Kini I in developing her world hunger solving spell."

"So..." Charlie said. "How's Eliwood doing?"

"I'm glad you asked." Death said.

Another flash and Charlie found himself standing in the courtyard at Castle Pherae. He watched as a very buff and shirtless Eliwood leaped through the air and sliced a hundred leaf petals in two.

"Oh dear god, Eliwood's not useless." Charlie said.

"Good work son!"

Charlie turned to see an elder, red haired man applauding Eliwood's handiwork. Eliwood smiled at him.

"Thank you father."

"I think that's enough for today. Go, your wife is calling you."

"Is EVERYONE married?" Charlie asked as he and Death followed Eliwood into the castle.

"Apparently so." Death said simply.

Eliwood took a few turns and went up a flight of stairs. At the top, he entered a large room where inside, Jessica, dressed in an elegant gown stood waiting for Eliwood.

"As much as I enjoy your physique..." Jessica said, blushing. "Put on a shirt please. It's hard to concentrate."

Eliwood smiled devilishly and stalked towards his wife. "Then why fight your urges?"

"Get me out of here." Charlie said, turning to Death. "Now."

A flash and Charlie found himself staring at Hector holding a bundle.

"Ahh, my son." Hector said. "Remember, you will grow up big and become a fierce warrior just like your father. Then you will seduce Eliwood's daughter."

"...this seems wrong." Charlie said.

"Yep, Hector was always worried that he would have a daughter who would get seduced by Eliwood's son... which by the way happens in your world." Death said.

"And here?"

"Well..." Death said. "We were just observing the conception of Eliwood's daughter... and now you see Hector's son. You do the math."

"You know, you REALLY suck at being a guardian angel." Charlie said. "Isn't this supposed to inspire me to want to live?"

"No." Death said. "It really isn't... and what do you expect from me? I am the Angel of DEATH after all."

"Let's just go." Charlie said. "What next?"

Death opened a portal. "You'll see."

Charlie emerged from the portal to what looks like a sound stage for a movie.

"What the..." Charlie said. He turned to Death. "Are we in the other world?"

"Yes." Death said. "December 21st, 2010. We are at the Warner Brothers Studios."

"You're a genius!" A voice rang out. Charlie and Death turned to see two people walk out from a small side door.

"Of course I am." One of the men said. "I am James Cameron. Of course it would make sense that Pandora gets bombarded by Earth's orbital forces. The Na'vi really never stood a chance."

"Yeah, I mean, the use of such outdated technology to. I mean five years in cryosleep? With modern space displacement rift generators, you could literally get across the entire galaxy in a matter of seconds."

"Yes." The one called Michael Bay said. "I wanted to show a human race that hadn't achieved advanced spaceflight technology until say... a few hundred years from today? Speaking of across the galaxy, isn't your great grandson stationed on a Star Destroyer near the Orion sector?"

"Yeah." The other man said. "But he'll take a shuttle back for Christmas. Times sure have changed. I remember back in 1910 when we still had cars that drove on the ground and ran on gasoline. The F-22 was one of the most advanced warplanes in existence."

"Hey, don't look down on the past too much." Michael Bay said. "Look, I got a original Christmas Card drawn by Adolf Hitler himself. I tell you, that man was a master artist who totally didn't hate Jews in any way, shape or form. Imagine if someone came along and screwed up his art school applications?"

"I can't even imagine such a world." The other man said. "Oh, by the way, Mary bought you that game your son wanted."

"Ahh yes, Fire Emblem 28. You know, ever since President George Lucas banned shitty remakes, it's amazing how awesome and refreshing each new game is. There's so much innovation and effort put behind telling a good story in video games."

"Let's not forget, Blizzard is releasing World of Warcraft 4, just 3 months after their last release. It's so good that they are so quick to release such high quality products with no delays or pushbacks whatsoever."

"Oh yes, and did you hear? The other day, Sarah Palin won a Nobel Prize in Chemistry for developing the cure to cancer and aids. It's a good thing her upbringing wasn't screwed up in anyway to the point where she believed dinosaurs existed with humans at the same time."

"Ahh yes, the world is truly an amazing place. Did you hear? They finally arrested Stephanie Meyer for publishing sparkling vampires."

"Why did they take so long?"

"Because most people are smart enough to realize it's a piece of shit and nobody really read it. They only arrested her because she tried to sell gay vampire makeup kits.'"

"Ahh, she got greedy. Just couldn't live with having nobody like her books because everyone see it for what it really is, a shitty, shallow, self-insert wannabe smut fanfiction."

Charlie stared at Death.

"No. No. This is a joke. This HAS to be a joke. THERE IS NO WAY THOSE TOPICS WOULD ALL BE BROUGHT UP IN THE SAME DAMN CONVERSATION WITH THE SAME ALLUSION TO MY ACTIONS IN THE OTHERWORLD THAT COULD POSSIBLY SCREW THIS UP. NO. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IS TRUE."

Death shrugged. "You take it for how it is."

"Oh come on." Charlie said. "It's not fair. It's not POSSIBLE. I mean REALLY? ALL THIS just because I don't exist? Come on."

"Hey, Jesus is never wrong." Death said.

"There has to be SOMEONE." Charlie said. He looked up at Death. "You."

"Me?"

"Yes," Charlie said. "You. Let's face it, if it weren't for me, you would not be getting paid your awesome Christmas salary and would be instead spending your time alone, miserable, drunk and with an imprint of a hand on your cheek."

"Hmm, I suppose we could look at what my ...death would become if you never existed." Death said. He grabbed Charlie's robes and teleported them again.

"Hello? Yes, 'sup God, my man. Yeah, I got the Meyer case for you. Oh, I'll be sure to get that to you by tomorrow. Alright man, see you on the flipside. Yo what up' this is Death. Hey Elimine, baby, what's happenin? The Raistzenburgs? Oh of course. Yes, I hear their daughter is getting married. Oh of course I can arrange for them to go down and see the ceremony. You know it babe. Hey, you coming to my Christmas party tonight? It's gonna be OFF THE HOOK. ALRIGHT! See you there."

"Oh... fuck...me." Charlie said.

"I..." Death stuttered. "I... ..I..."

"Yeah, don't be too out of words." Charlie said. "I mean, you're still-"

"Death! Baby!" A hot girl appeared out of nowhere and threw herself at Death.

"...Oh of course your Secretary is here." Charlie said, throwing his hands up in defeat.

"What up my little sex puppet? Did you miss daddy already?"

"Oh you know I did." The scantly clad girl said. "I need it so bad... and I've been a good girl this year too."

"Oh, then Santa's got a rather... LARGE present for you this year."

The girl squealed and jumped on Death. "Hey baby...let's just spend your entire vacation week naked. Do you want to have a threesome with Elimine?"

Charlie didn't get a chance to tell Death to make the images stop. He soon found Death's scythe placed alarmingly close to his neck.

"You." Death growled. "YOUR EXISTENCE IS THE BANE OF ALL UNIVERSES."

"Whoa there." Charlie said, trying to back away. "Let's not get hasty now. I mean, your life is awesome now right?"

"It's been three...HUNDRED years."

"Oh... … ..." Charlie swallowed hard. "Uhh, I'm sure that's not as bad as it sounds."

Death raised his scythe. "It's worse. You clearly contribute NOTHING to the people you love in your world. Your existence has poisoned OTHER PEOPLE'S WORLDS. AND BECAUSE OF YOU I'M NOT GETTING LAID ALL THE TIME. WHAT POSSIBLE REVELATION COULD YOU HAVE? I DON'T CARE WHAT THE POWERS THAT BE SAY, I'M ENDING YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A GOOD REVELATION ABOUT WHY YOU ARE VALUABLE."

Charlie flailed around for an excuse, but try as he might, he could not. The sights he have seen today depressed him beyond all belief. Maybe it was better if he never existed...

...Then his eye caught a scrap of newspaper stuck to Death's robe.

_Marie Calenders going out of business._

Wait... what?

"Wait! What is this?"

Death looked temporarily confused, a moment Charlie seized to escape his scythe and grab the scrap of newspaper.

"With Earth's population all eating sensibly and healthily, Marie Calenders was forced to close. 'The people of the world just aren't eating pies anymore.' Marie said. 'There just was never someone awesome enough to champion how wonderful pies are.'"

"A world with no pie... THAT'S IT!" Charlie exclaimed. He held up the scrap of newspaper. "THIS IS WHY I'M VALUABLE!"

"What?" Death exclaimed. "What are you smoking?"

"NO, DON'T YOU SEE?" Charlie yelled, delirious in his discovery. "The world, both ours and theirs may be more... advanced. Kiyoko may be married to the world's most wonderful man. My parents may be heroes. Eliwood may be useful. My female counterpart may have unicorn blood and everything nice running through her veins. AIDS and cancer may not exist. BUT THE WORLDS ARE NOT TRULY HAPPY. THEY ARE EMPTY WORLDS FOR THEY LACK THE FACTOR OF AWESOME THAT I BRING. AND IN THEIR LACK OF AWESOME, EARTH HAS LOST IT'S ONE TRUE SOURCE OF HAPPINESS...PIE! I AM VALUABLE BECAUSE I BRING AN AWESOME FACTOR. I AM VALUABLE... BECAUSE WITHOUT ME, THERE IS NO PIE!"

"...No... fuck you! NO!" Death screamed. But it was no use. Elimine's song was sung and his scythe could no longer harm a man destined to live. The amorous scene before him faded. No longer was he making love to his beautiful secretary.

Charlie stood before him, bathed in the light of enlightenment.

With a curse to the heavens, Death raised his hands... and granted the man his life.

* * *

Charlie... Charlie... CHARLIE!

"WHA!"

"Whoa... Charlie." Kini said, putting a damp cloth on his forehead. "Are you alright? We found you sprawled in the snow near the library...or what's left of the library."

"Kevin..." Charlie croaked.

"He's fine." Another voice said. Charlie looked over to see Jessica bringing over another bucket of water. "What happened?"

"Freak accident." Charlie said. He laid back into the sheets and smiled. All was well.

"By the way..." Jessica said. "Weren't you visiting a sick aunt?"

Oh...right.

"Oh, yes, but I had to come give you all your Christmas present first." Charlie said.

"Oh?" Jessica asked. "What'd you get us?"

Charlie pulled out a staff from under the bed and activated it. "A trip to Australia."

With a mighty kick, he sent Jessica through the newly opened portal.

When the portal closed, he reached beneath his bed and pulled out a beautifully wrapped box and handed it to Kini.

"Merry Christmas Kini."

Kini looked fearfully at the box for a while before Charlie's encouraging smile broke her down. She tore open the wrapping to find... a huge bag of jalapeno flavored potato chips.

"Merry Christmas to you too Charlie."

Charlie leaned back into his bed and relished the feeling of being alive.

"...and to all a good night indeed."

Slowly, with Kini's happy chewing in the background, Charlie allowed the sweet embrace of sleep take him to the land of dreams...

...and all was well.

* * *

Erk: ...

Charlie: It's A Wonderful Life taken to the extreme. I drew inspiration from the Nostalgia Critic.

Erk: ...that got REALLY silly at the end.

Charlie: It's supposed to.

So to all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Years

Charlie Wu, writing from Sydney, Australia (yes, I wrote this for all of you while on vacation. BE GRATEFUL DAMNIT!)


	50. Effective Forms of Torture

Charlie: Sorry for the long delay, but honestly I am just stressed the fsk out right now. Over the last six months, I went through a terrible lung infection, got my classes cancelled, and went through a bad break up. So forgive me for the long wait.

World of Warcraft also didn't help . (Find me on Spinebreaker – Sparkleglory. Just don't ask me about my name.)

Secondly, this thing has gradually spun exceedingly out of control. So I'm just going to take it one chapter at a time. We last left off when my in story namesake (Who's actually German not Chinese(I am, I just have very little creativity when it comes to names.)) started sending people into the real world at various periods of time. I'm actually only going to follow a few of them because it just is starting to hurt my head.

As a result, for those of you who still read this, please send me an e-mail leave a review about what time periods you would like me to do after the Jeanne D'arc and D-Day story arcs. I'll do like 2 or 3 others.

That said, we all have to go out into the real world at some point, and as much as I love this story (which started back in high school with me messing around with a random number generator), I can't write for you if I don't find a job and feed myself.

It's been a pleasure, and I'm glad you've stuck with me through all my personal issues and absences and hope you'll stick with me as I weather out life's best attempts at murdering me.

Oh on another note, I've informed that apparently someone linked this thing on TV Tropes under crack pairing O.o. Dunno if that's true.

Forgive me if this is starting to ret con what I've previously wrote. I'll list the dramatis personae at the end. The relevant OC's will be listed.

Anyways, enjoy

* * *

**Chapter 50  
**_Effective Forms of Torture_

Hallucinations, nightmares, delusions generally follow one very simple rule: no matter what was done by the illusions, the patient would never be harmed the invisible specters plaguing his vision.

So the pain of the lashes upon his skin really started to frighten Matthew.

"I will not ask again!" The heavily accented voice assaulted his ears. "Who are you and what are you here for English scum?"

There goes that phrase again… _English scum_. It was a combination of sounds and syllables that had absolutely no meaning to Matthew. He considered telling the truth, to say that he was pushed through a strange magical portal by a psychotic innkeeper in the mou-

Yeah, no that wasn't going to win any points with these people. If anything, Matthew was a trained professional. He knew that his only value to these people is the information he currently holds in his head. They don't know he's not a "English" spy. That's the only thing keeping him alive.

For now at least.

So Matthew kept his mouth stubbornly shut. It got him lashes and blows to the face, but pain was preferable to death.

When they finally left him, Matthew was beaten bloody and barely conscious. The blindfold was removed, the gag torn off. They were unnecessary. He was in a windowless room and the torches were all extinguished. The only thing Matthew learned about his predicament with his senses restored is the fact that he had been strung upside down.

You know, because escape wasn't challenging enough.

Footsteps echoed harrowingly against the cold stone wall. Matthew felt a surge of annoyance rise in him. His muscles had already begun to tighten up. This round of punishment will hurt.

A woman's voice, soft, but commanding caught Matthew's attention. Etrurian… or whatever the hell the equivalent is in this god forsaken world.

_But my lady, the prisoner is of no concern to you. Just another English spy. We will break him soon enough and his head will hang from the walls of Orleans._

So he was in Orleans. Apparently this woman was in charge. Interesting. Far be it for Matthew to be misogynistic at this point in time, but he was interested to see why she was so interested in him.

_No. You will bring me to him. You will cease your barbaric treatment of him. You will feed the man, clean his wounds. You will then leave me with him for the rest of the night._

_My lady!_

_This is a command from your God. This man is not a English spy. He was sent to us to save the French people!_

So they were French… and he was supposed to save them. Matthew groaned audibly from his aches. He certainly had absolutely no desire to save these people…

Rough hands were grabbing him. He heard a sword being drawn… then the tightness in his legs disappeared as gravity once again took hold. He allowed his feet to fall downward limply. Another pair of hands supported them as he was manhandled right side up and led out the room.

Consciousness was still a fleeting thing. Matthew was only vaguely aware that the torches were lit. The searing pain from his wounds kept him from succumbing completely to the darkness. His captors were not gentle as they manhandled him through a maze of hallways.

Finally the movement stopped. Matthew groaned in relief as the hands dumped him onto a feathered mattress. The rough, callused hands of soldiers were soon replaced by the gentle soothing touch of nurses. Matthew let the waves of relief carry him as each of his wounds were cleaned and bandaged.

He had no idea how long it took… hours, days, weeks, years. When it was finally done, the sweet embrace of sleep finally took him off.

* * *

Jeanne d'Arc was a patient women. She however had no tolerance for those who disobey the word of God. The prisoner was discovered, dazed, unarmed and confused near the castle walls. Jeanne had immediately known that he was not an English spy.

"Lycian" She muttered out to no one. She didn't know what that word meant, but in her dreams she sees a far away land… embattled with an evil sorcerer. A land where people have mystical power; where the good struggle against those who would use that power for evil.

It had been 3 days since the patient fell into his sleep. The nurse explained that the man had lost a lot of blood. It would take some time for him to recover.

What Jeanne would've given for her God to allow her to run the moronic guards through with her sword. Calming herself, Jeanne continued to stare at the unconscious man lying in bed. The man with a boyish face and sandy hair that were it not for the numerous scars on his hard body, Jeanne would've believed him to still be a child.

Torture was never a good method to discover anything. Those who had information could withstand the pain… those who had nothing told lies to make it stop. Either way it torture was more often than not a good way to lose valuable prisoners to the mortician. And with the way the war has gotten, France can ill afford to waste assets to the over exuberance of idiots.

She was getting premonitions again. There were more evil forces at work, forces that want to dictate the fate of this world, of her world.

Staring at the young man passed out on the bed before her, Jeanne couldn't help but shudder at the thought that maybe… just maybe…

They were all just puppets dancing to the tune of someone else's sick fantasies.

* * *

Despite being married to Count Reglay, Louise never before considered herself blessed to be able to partake in the _wonderful _world of nobility. She hated being pampered, hated the rules, hated the mannerisms… hated the fact that she wasn't allowed to shoot things outside of a drool shooting range where insipid airheads clapped wildly at her ability to shot an unmoving board from 50 yards.

Two weeks into this new world and Louise was suddenly grateful for the prim and proper world she was thrust into when she married Pent… one which helped her lose her Etrurian accent.

This new world wasn't much different than the one they came from. Things were named differently, languages simply had different titles… and everyone still hated everyone else. It was fortunate their cover depended on Louise to be able to speak perfect Lycian rather than forcing Rebecca and Wil to speak perfect Etrurian.

After holding off a fortified assault on their position using nothing but barrels of fish for cover, the commanding officer, Sir John Fastolf, had granted them the courtesy of not asking too many questions. Louise fed him a story about being the widow of a nobleman… cast out of her house by her late husband's conniving siblings.

Not even Louise bought her own story, but Fastolf let it slide. Now, Louise found herself and her two charges in a seedy tavern waiting for the man.

"He's late." Wil said impatiently.

Rebecca sat at the end of the bar staring at some trinket her love had given her. Louise had to muse, for some crackheaded plot to get people in this misfit army to like each other, Jessica's plan had succeeded. After all, nothing like a little sexual tension to break loose when stuck in a small confined space with each other. Granted, the plan could've easily just as well ended with Rebecca strangling Erk in his sleep… but Louise tended to not dwell on "What ifs."

A tap on her shoulder brought Louise to the present. Behind her, John Fastolf leaned against the bar, looking for all the world like just another drunken vagrant.

"You ask some very intriguing questions my lady." Fastolf said, taking a swig of the mead. "Questions that do not have easily found answers."

"Were my answers easily found, I did not need to involve myself with you good sir." Louise said. "The fate of your world is changing. It's imperative that I find my friend."

"Well, you didn't give me much to go by." Fastolf said as he drew a cluttering of vellums from within his robes. "There was no Englishman by yours description found dazed within our ranks or within English controlled territory."

"Are you saying he's gone?" Louise asked.

Fastolf shrugged. "It's a large world milady. It's hard to find one person, especially a suspicious person who would spout madness. Less discerning companies would simply have the man run through and be done with it. If he truly is not of this land, then he could just as easily gotten lost and starved or frozen to death in the woods."

"You'll find him more resourceful." Louise said. "Have you anything?"

"It took some digging." Fastolf said. "But one of our agents within French territory say that the French have a strange prisoner in Orleans. A man who matches your description and seemed thoroughly confused at everything that was happening. Rants about a land called 'Lycia'"

Louise felt hope surging within her. "Is he still there?"

Fastolf nodded. "Taken out of the dungeons I see. Seems to me that the Maiden has taken an interest in your friend. I must ask you this my lady, what side are you on? Many underestimate the Maiden because she is female, but by God you and your servant girl are the two best marksmen I've ever met in my life. So forgive me if I don't share in my countryman's skepticism. If this is truly God's will, then all of England may be doomed."

Louise didn't know what to say. So she just nodded through Fastolf's rant. Afterwards the man downed his flagon of mead and shoved the vellums into Louise's dainty hands.

"Find your friend." He said. "Find out why the Maiden is so interested in him. You can tell me your findings as repayment."

Louise nodded.

* * *

Matthew was starting to really hate France.

Just as well since supposedly he was English, and supposedly the English REALLY hated the French.

Aches, cricks, and all manner of uncomfortably sensations assaulted him as once again he was thrust back into the cold world of the living.

"You're awake."

The girl spoke Etrurian. Or French… or whatever the bloody hell that blasted language was called now.

"How long have I been out?" Matthew responded. The girl giggled lightly at his heavy accent, and Matthew was simply too tired to care.

"Five days." The girl responded. "My apology for your treatment here. Nobody deserves as such."

"Not even English scum?"

"Not even English scum." The amusement in her voice was evident. Matthew fell silent. He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to say anything, and quite frankly, he was still technically a prisoner.

"But you are not English oui?" The girl's voice broke in.

"It's just another word." Matthew said. "English, Lycian, what's the difference?"

"Sometimes, that makes all the difference." The girl said. "Perhaps it is time you fully opened your eyes."

Matthew groaned, but slowly he complied. Slowly he let his lids flutter open… his pupils dilating and screeching in pain after several days of zero external stimuli. Slowly, his vision cleared. No longer did the damp, bleak walls of the dungeon stare back at him.

"Where am I?"

"No longer in the dungeons."

Matthew turned to look at the girl. She was striking in her own way. Soft brownish blonde hair, intelligent eyes… certainly not a great beauty but definitely a good sight for very sore eyes. Almost strikingly similar to…

"You remind me of someone I left behind."

The question took Jeanne by surprise. The air stood still for a moment as the two let the awkward moment pass.

"What do you want of me?" Matthew finally asked. "I am not English, I am not of this land. No amount of beating would change my answer."

"I do not doubt your heritage." Jeanne said. "I've been for told that our world would have visitors, visitors from another world. Throughout the history and the future of this world, things will be changed. The fate of our world has already gone askew."

It was a lot to digest. If Matthew ever got back, Charlie would have a LOT to answer for.

"Then once again I ask of you, what do you want of me?"

Jeanne was quiet for a long time.

"I've been dispatched to relieve our men in Orleans. I've held back my forces to wait for you. I would like you to come with me."

"I don't think I'm in a condition to fight."

"No… not to fight." Jeanne said. "Just so you are nearby. It is important that you are nearby."

"Hah." Matthew laughed. "Well, first time someone's said that about me in a siege. Very well my lady, it seems that I don't have a choice."

Jeanne nodded curtly and got up to leave. "We leave tomorrow for the front lines. I will have someone prepare a set of arms for you."

"Wait!" Matthew called out towards her retreating back. Jeanne stopped and turned to look at him. "Your name."

"Jeanne."

"Matthew."

"Good to meet you." Jeanne said. She nodded curtly and strode from the room, leaving Matthew to his thoughts and his pain.

* * *

_Orleans, France  
April 29th, 1492_

Louise did not expect the information to be completely accurate. Matthew had been captured in Orleans, but had been moved out of the city. He and the prophesized Battle Maiden just recently entered the city, and the "madman of Orleans" was being kept under heavy wraps. It would be nearly impossible to identify Matthew from afar.

John Fastolf provided some documents that allowed her to move freely between the English ranks. Louise's Etrurian charms and… ahem, feminine wiles managed the trio into the besieged city. Wil's knack of finding alcohol managed to keep the three's sanity in check considering they just risked their lives to enter a city under heavy siege.

"So… why are we risking life and limb to help Matthew?" Wil asked as perched precariously on a castle wall surveying the camp of soldiers.

"Because this goes beyond Matthew." Louise said. She collapsed her spyglass and drew a canteen to her mouth. "We are not of this world. Our presence throws the entire future of this world into chaos."

"Or does it?" Wil asked. He took the canteen from Louise and took a swig. "Perhaps our presence is already woven into the fate of this world? Perhaps we are meant to be here."

"Or perhaps you've spent too much time listening to that loony librarian's crackpot theories." Louise shrugged. "Either way, I'd rather not chance it. Plus it would seem that 'French' is this world's counterpart to Etrurian. And Matthew, being not Etrurian, could very well be in grave danger remaining with the French."

"Though…" Rebecca's voice broke through. "This still doesn't answer another important question."

"Yes?" Louise asked.

"Even if we do find Matthew… how the hell do we get back to Elibe?"

That was a very good question.

* * *

_Silent Springs  
Present Day_

Glenn was angry. No, that doesn't quite express it. Glenn was irate, furious, mad beyond all reason – No, there simply were not words to express his feelings at this moment.

Gunther and Sofiya Raistzenburg were surely positively TURNING in their graves.

The reason for Glenn's anger? One Charles Leiptzsi Raistzenburg.

Glenn woke up this morning to receive a missive from Ostia informing him that should his town continue to hold the heirs of Ostia, Caelin AND Pherae hostage, the retribution would be swift and brutal. Fearing this to be some sort of mistake, Glenn rushed out into the town… only to find the entire city devoid of people save a handful of confused, local residents.

A town meeting had been called on the spot. The missive was read out loud. Many plans of placating the Royal Families were drawn up as nobody knows where any of them had gone.

Then the smug bastard walked in… and he had the audacity to be smiling.

"Charlie, what is the meaning of this?"

"Oh old man…" Charlie had said, smugly. "Have a little faith. I'm simply… reshaping the world. Putting my stamp on things."

The man was a delinquent… a drunk, disrespectful delinquent. But this goes beyond missing assignments or getting pissed off firewater. No, this was treason, high treason.

Even his friends and family knew... all that is except for Kiyoko who stood in her customary spot to his right and three paces back.

"Do you really want to fight me Glenn? The cold weather doesn't do well for your joints. There's a reason it's custom for the elderly to go down the mountain during winter."

"Do not mess with me boy."

The smug smirk on Charlie's face faded.

"One does not mess when one commits high treason." Charlie said. He pulled out a strange looking device and pulled a trigger.

An ear splitting bang reverberated through the mountains, causing those unfortunate enough to not be wearing earmuffs to hold their heads. Alan was even bleeding from his ear.

"AHH! YOU SON OF A- WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" Glenn yelled as his knee exploded in pain. He fell to the ground, the snow around him staining bright red from the blood.

"Shut up old man or the next shot goes through your head." Charlie yelled. "The rest of you, get him inside the inn, and stay there. Don't make me do something you will regret."

"Charlie…" One of his cousins tried to plead with him. "Don't do this."

"I don't know what your problem is or what you have to prove…" This time it was Alan. "But get over yourself and stop this madness!"

"I'm not warning you people a second time. Get this pile of shit out of my sight." Charlie half screamed.

When nobody budged, Charlie took aim at Glenn's other kneecap and pulled the trigger. One more ear splitting bang, another bloodcurling scream…

Ten minutes later, all that stood outside was Charlie, Kiyoko, Kini and a pile of blood red snow.

"Well…" Kini said. "That went well. And they call me the psychopath."

"You of all people know why I'm doing this." Charlie muttered.

"And I of all people know why sometimes it's just not worth it."

But once you cross the point of no return, the only way out is to win… or die.

* * *

_Orleans, France  
May 7, 1492_

Nine bloody days and the siege was about to come to a climax. Jeanne had finally taken the field and taken the fight to the English, and Louise would've wagered her drawing arm that the squire constantly following her was Matthew. The profile certainly fit.

Ever since Rebecca's question was left in the air, the trio were faced with another, difficult, unanswered question.

Why were they here?

All three were fairly certain it was the innkeeper who created the portal and shoved all four of them in. But that certainly didn't explain why he did it. For what purpose could he possibly have for sending four people into a bloody war that has lasted several decades? What could four people possibly do?

"She's striking." Rebecca said.

"She looks like that girl Matthew's been pawing all week." Wil contributed, earning himself a sharp kick to the side from one of the women near him.

"And Matthew's too much of a professional." Louise said. "No, he has to stay close to her. As much as the men in that army detest it, she may be their last hope… a warrior sent to them by their God. If she was the one who relieved Matthew of prison, then the only time he would be safe is if he were near her."

"You think he's-"

"You finish that sentence Wil." Louise said. "And I'll test my theory that we need to die here to go home on you."

"I'm just saying."

"Stop saying." Louise said. She checked her bow string. "We need to get her off the field. We need to talk to her."

"Ahh, the simple stuff." Wil muttered. "Hey there! We're some strange people from some far off land called Elibe! I see you have our friend! Let's have a chat please AS YOUR CITY BURNS TO THE GROUND AROUND YOU."

Louise rolled her eyes. "Oh stop with the dramatics."

"No honestly, her presence for the past few days has been the only reason what the French seem to be miraculously winning this god forsaken battle. Do you really expect all those armed soldiers down there who have been fighting for their lives for so long to let the three of us simply WALTZ in and talk to their wondergirl?"

"Which is why my plan is simpler." Louise said. She notched an arrow… and let it fly.

* * *

'Two inches lower…' Matthew thought. 'And the French lose this war…'

Jeanne d'Arc was an extraordinary woman. Matthew was shot in the arm once by an arrow. He spent the next few weeks making snide remarks from his bed. Occupational hazard of being a spy: if you were injured, you may as well be dead.

Jeanne d'Arc however was having none of this "rest and recuperation" business. With an almighty cry, she wrenched the arrow from her shoulder and leapt right back into the fray.

"If you were trying to kill her." Wil remarked. "I think you missed."

"Bloody hell." Louise said. "Why can't the men in our army be like her?"

"She'll eventually have to get that attended to." Rebecca said. "Looks like we're back to playing the waiting game."

* * *

_What's left of Orleans, France  
May 8, 1492_

_Les Tourelles is lost. We will be withdrawing. Lady Louise, I implore find your answers fast._

_-JF_

"Looks like our battle maiden won." Louise said. She stood with Rebecca and Wil among the drunk and bawdy. A few broken noses had already discouraged the more… affectionate of the troops. "I think it's time we paid a visit to our good friend.

"Would that be me?" A voice.

The trio jumped around and found themselves face to face with their long… accosted friend. Rebecca immediately launched herself at him.

"It's good to see you Matthew." Louise said, chuckling at the younger girl's exuberance. "I see you've been keeping busy."

"If you could call it that." Matthew said. "There are those who would still call me English. I tend to not stray from Jeanne."

"Is that her name?" Louise asked. "There are… whisperings of her. She has visions, visions from God. They say she will save France from English dominion. She will restore the French crown to the rightful king."

"Something along the lines." Matthew said. "Which of course leads us to the bigger question, why are we here?"

"I may have a few theories." Louise said. "You saw who pushed us through correct?"

"Charlie." Matthew said. "Forgive me if I say that name with a bit of disdain."

"We still don't know what he wants, but I do believe it's time we speak with Jeanne. She seems to be the only honest soul in this world. Ensure that we have privacy."

Matthew nodded grimly. "Meet me in the tent with the pink banners in half an hour. We shall have our chat then."

* * *

"You carry the same air as your friend." Jeanne said, without turning to greet her guests. "You seek answers where there are none."

She turned. Louise noted how piercing her eyes were.

"I'm sorry, I do not know why you are here or how you may return." Jeanne said.

"I did not expect you to Maid of Orleans." Louise replied in Etrurian.

If Jeanne was surprised, she did not show it. The girl merely gestured towards crude chairs around a table of maps. Matthew took a seat, Louise and the others soon followed.

"Not many are aware of our presence, fewer still believe our origins." Louise said. "You are one, Sir John Fastolf of the English is another. Both believe that we have been sent to rewrite the fate of this world."

"Perhaps." Jeanne said. She poured tea into rather old and faded china. "Or perhaps your coming has already been woven into the fate of this planet. Nobody can predict God's will… but He has a plan. You may be of another world, but you are still of his creation. You and your friends' presence here may yet be another design."

Jeanne took a long sip of her tea. "You say a man of great evil sent you to this world. Three of you landed on the English side while a fourth was captured by us and nearly tortured to death. I have been granted visions from God, imploring me to save France for the rightful King. Perhaps the man who sent you here wishes you to reverse what God has planned for me to accomplish."

"It seems that you did just fine." Louise said. "That was a rather decisive victory for your side."

Jeanne laughed bitterly. "One of few. Look into the history of this war, the history of France. Our military victories are few and far between. We could not hope to win this war my lady. We could only hope to draw… to prevent the English from dominating this continent."

"And you believe we've been thrown here against our will, without our knowledge and planted with the English in hopes that we would be able to stop you?"

"You came within two inches of it today my lady."

Louise blushed furiously and cast her eyes away from Jeanne. The Maiden of Orleans simply smiled and shook her head.

"Do not worry, you have faith in your skill and I have faith in my God. If you had intended to kill me, you would not have missed."

"I'm still sorry."

"Don't be." Jeanne said. "But yes, I believe the devil intends to stop me… I believe the man who sent you here is an agent of evil. I believe that the purpose of your presence is to assist England in their quest for dominion over France. So I ask you this: I may not know how to bring you back to your world, but how would you like to assist me? Spit upon the face and the plans of the man who trapped you in this strange and foreign land?"

Louise, Matthew, Wil and Rebecca all exchanged looks. It was a lot of information to digest, and most of it was still simply speculation.

But the look on Charlie's face when he realized that his plan had failed… would be priceless.

There were simply some things money can't buy.

Louise nodded. The others soon followed.

* * *

_Silent Springs  
30 Minutes Past Crazy_

"So… you've freaked out your friends and family, shot your teacher in both kneecaps. Even your sister is currently freaking out… a little."

"Oh don't get your knickers in a twist princess." Charlie said rolling his eyes at Kini. He gave her a lecherous grin"Besides, we've got the whole town to ourselves now."

"Don't flatter yourself big boy." Kini deadpanned. She turned face and headed towards the inn.

"Where are you going?"

"You have an inn full of scared and angry people. I'm going to go feed them and calm them down. I suggest you start finding solace in whatever God you believe in." Kini replied calmly. "Nergal's coming, the joint forces of Pherae, Caelin and Ostia are marching on you. You still got Eliwood's army floating around through space and time, and they'll eventually figure out what they need to do to get back. Once this all comes around Charlie, there will be a LOT of people pissed at you."

"But you'll be with me right?"

Kini looked back sadly. "I don't know if I will."

And with that she disappeared into the building, leaving Charlie alone with his thoughts… and the blood.

And he smiled.

A pariah always stood alone.

* * *

A few things: Yes, I'm giving definitive names/etc to my characters. Have I done it before, well, it's been seven long years since I've started this thing… and between the years and all the scotch I've consumed over the years, I can't even remember what I had for dinner last night. SO, take it for what it is, this thing isn't perfect. Maybe I'll go revise previous chapters… maybe I won't. For now, just live with what's given in the present.

Secondly, the list of OCs just got massively out of control. I'm cutting it down dramatically. Last names won't be AS important except on some characters. Don't expect the obvious though (/cryptic)

Dramatis Personae

Charles (Charlie) Leiptzsi Raistzenburg – Male Swordsmaster  
Kiyoko Lee – Female Assassin  
Sonia Raistzenburg – Female Sniper  
Lulu Raistzenburg – Female Falcoknight  
Fae Raistzenburg – Female Mage  
Catelyn (Kate) Selenni – Female Priestess  
Alan Winston – Male Sniper  
Kini Isabel Victoire Regina Kuestoicz von Juurgens – Female Countess, Subject Zero  
Glenn McEllis – Male Druid  
Clive – Male Cloud Entity  
Clide – Male Cloud Entity  
Kevin – Male Druid

Finally, since I decided to dabble in history, obviously exact events won't be related. Jeanne d'Arc did not rescue some crazy English prisoner before arriving at the Siege of Orleans. She did get shot in the chest, but it was by an English Bodkin arrow, not Louise. You know the drill. Some things will change. Some things will not. I'll be taking a lot of liberties with historical accuracy.


End file.
